#no one knows how to be alone
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at some point as an adult, you realize dating isn't worth it because a majority of people need to be on some illicit substance to get through the day and only narcissists get love in this hyper individualistic society
#I always blame late-stage capitalism for how dating and relationships are#from dating apps to social media to everything being expensive#those stupid ass podcasts too#it just makes everyone very selfish and everyone treats each other life they're disposable#everyone is always smoking weed & drinking alcohol#no one knows how to be alone#my thoughts#late stage capitalism#modern dating#modern relationships#substance abuse#hyper individualism#individualistic#individualism
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inflict
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#yuji itadori#nobara kugisaki#fushiguro megumi#itafushikugi#inside me are two wolves one is dead on the floor bc this took ages and the other one is screaming from the rooftops bc i am so PLEASED#im so . im so happy w this im in love w flat markers and chisel brushes im sorry fr ever being frustrated with the harsh angles#opacity down square chisel....layers upon layers of polygons...#i love u so much the effect is a treat to play with#hard shapes thin lines my beloved i think ive struck a good balance between sharp n smooth vs textured render#idec that these kids took probably 12 hours each#worth every minute worth every second#nobara's hair here alone is some of my best work idec#god i love. making things tht make me happy i know how to draw i love when i make smth tht makes me say wow im good @ my hobby
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I don't like this place. It's turning everyone edgy and sad.
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
#undertale#deltarune#crossover#utdr#crossover comic#twin runes comic#twin runes au#my art#art#susie deltarune#chara#this will ignite the “chara did nothing wrong” vs “chara is a murder hobo” debate I just know it#fact is they gave up everything for their plan to succeed and asriel blew it#HOWEVER they were also forced to watch asriel die and they could do nothing about it#so what does a dead child do for who knows how many years all alone with no one else to talk to?#they rethink everthying that went wrong#guilt is a weird thing that lingers and festers in your mind#no matter how much you're actually at fault#I mean come on... they were an abused kid#all they wanted was to not hurt anymore and return the love they were given no matter the cost#but now they are CONVINCED it was their plan that kickstarted this whole mess#and it's eating at them#you can see it because they actually used contractions for once#i love subtle stuff like that#also hey#susie's feeling remorse for her whole “chara offed asriel” comment#the two are more alike than she thought and now she feels bad#out of all people she should know what it's like to be falsely accused
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I'M NOT YOUR DOLL AND I'LL THINK FOR MYSELF AND I'LL LIVE FOR MYSELF
#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#eddie dear#senjart#so#so. SO!#SO ABOUT TODAY'S UPDATE. WELL.#WELLLLLL!#eddie is happy. eddie is happy!#so excited for eddie's lobotomy arc#I have many MANY thoughts about today's update. by far the best one I should say#so much implications of the situation the puppets are in#how sally is so.... harsh towards eddie#and we got shown him having an outburst when hes left alone and doesnt know what to do#like he's so underappreciated but. delivering mails and making papercrafts are all he knows#his reison de'tre#his depersonalization on the armchair during the advertisement segment AND how frank reacted to it#he dropped the ''mr dear'' pretenses and called him ''eddie'' in such a concerned voice#AND MY GOD. RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!#PUPPET ON THE STRING THEORY REAL? SCRIPTS THEORY REAL? OR AM I JUST TWEAKING#HMMM HMMMMMMMMM#ANYWAYS I'LL THINK OF MORE STUFF TO ADD HERE ONCE IM NO LONGER SLEEPY
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What I wanted so badly was for Mary to learn about her boys from Cas. Like that night where Cas finds her when she can’t sleep and she expresses that she just doesn’t know anything about her sons since she missed so much?? All I wanted was for Cas to sit down with her at the table and just start telling her about them. Basic stuff at first: their favorite foods, their sleeping habits, the stuff he’s just observed by being their passenger for years.
And then I want him to say something totally Cas, like “Dean always wears more layers but that’s because his body naturally runs two degrees colder than Sam’s. But that’s normal for him and not indicative of any illness, so it’s nothing to worry about.”
And as they talk, it starts to get a little deeper, and Cas tells her more. He tells her about what she missed, about all the horrible things that happened to her sons and how they coped; how it changed them. And he tells her about Sam, he does, but really it ends up being all about Dean.
He’ll tell her about how Dean clenches his fists when he’s upset, even as he tries to keep his face impassive. About how Dean drums his fingers on the steering wheel when he’s anxious. He’ll tell her about Dean’s nightmares, about the ways he’s chosen to cope. He’ll tell her how to know when to approach Dean and when to give him space, how to gently acknowledge what he’s feeling without pushing him too far.
And with every word he says, Mary’s curious head tilt from when she’d seen them hug in reunion turns into a bone deep type of certainty. Because Cas is telling her things that only someone who paid special attention would notice. He’s telling her things that only someone very, very close to her son’s heart would know.
Cas will tell her the cliff notes of what they’ve been through; will tell her how the whole world looked to Dean and he rose to the occasion over and over again. He’ll tell her about Dean’s doubts in himself and then vehemently declare them as wrong and explain, at length, why. He will tell her about the people Dean has loved— the people who loved him like he was their own— and lost. He will tell her about Bobby, Ellen, Jody, Donna, and Charlie. He’ll tell her about Claire, too, and how Dean stepped up.
And the whole time, Mary will have this realization that oh, she may not have been around to guide and protect her sons, but there was always someone there to care for them and support them when they needed it. She will realize that she and John may have left them, but they were never alone.
But more than that, there was someone there for Dean. Someone picking Dean over and over again while Dean picked Sam, or the world, over himself. There was someone fighting for Dean when he wasn’t fighting for himself. There was someone who saw Dean, and loved him unconditionally.
Sitting across from her, at the asscrack of dawn, filling her in on all the things she missed was every mother’s dream: someone who loved her child with the kind of devotion that would break the world. And from the sounds of the stories she was being told, it did break the world. Someone whose love is entirely untainted and comes without any strings attached.
It’s so clear to her as she listens to Cas talk that Cas loves Dean with no expectations. That loving Dean is something he just does, like he doesn’t know how not to love Dean, like the possibility of not loving him never occurred to Cas. He loves Dean in a way that Mary knows can and will soothe Dean’s sharp edges and battered heart. He loves Dean in the kind of pure way that tells Mary that it will continue to endure and overcome everything without ever diminishing, even the littlest amount.
Mary, through tears, will tell Cas how she always told Dean that there were angels watching over him. And before Cas can make some comment about Dean being the Righteous Man and the interest of most of Heaven, she will place a hand over his and give him a motherly look that will convey all the things she’s not sure how to say— and the things she’s not sure Cas is ready to hear yet. And Cas will flush and look away, mumbling about how her son is very special to him.
And when she pulls him into a hug and murmurs thank yous into his shoulder, she will be comforted in the knowledge that her sons turned out to be wonderful men, and that they managed to stay together through everything. She will be comforted to know that no matter what happens, no matter her shortcomings as she tries to fill a role she never meant to leave, Sam will have Dean and Dean will have Cas.
And this time, when Cas tells her that she belongs here, she will believe him. And she will tell him that he belongs here, too.
And when Dean wakes up a few hours later and wanders in to find Mary and Cas still chatting over the table, he’ll be surprised— but pleased— to find Mary looking more at ease. He’ll be pleased when she gives him a warm hug and pats him on the cheek and tell him with all the sincerity that only a mother can muster that she’s glad that he met Castiel. And when Dean agrees, a little confused, Mary will just smile at him.
“I always said I’d like a third son.” She says, “so give him a reason to take our last name, won’t you?”
And Dean will splutter and turn fifteen shades of red as he steadfastly doesn’t look at Cas but mumbles something that suggests he’s not against the idea at all.
And Mary will laugh again and wink at an equally red Cas before heading towards the kitchen like “Cas said waffles are your favorite, so I hope you’re hungry!”
#mary Winchester could have been a good character#and the Mary&Cas friendship could’ve been everything#Mary deserved to learn about her sons from someone who loved them#and she deserved to see how they were never truly alone#like that whole scene I was screaming for Cas to talk to her#Cas helping Mary navigate the stress of situating herself into her boys life could’ve been so powerful#because he had to do that and he’d know#and Dean having cas to keep going to as he tried to cope with his own side of things???#im just saying#this show robbed us of a lot but this is one thing I feel especially bitter to have missed out on#Castiel#dean winchester#mary winchester#spn#supernatural#destiel#deancas
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Lan Wangji goes to Lotus Pier (No relation to the AU of the same name)
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#Another split type comic because I decided to be ambitious.#This flashback is currently beating my ass. There are so many timeskips within the flashback! My flow and pacing are wheezing!#I loved how this scene starts with the crowd's point of view. The observations and gossip add a lot.#And it helps reposition us to what the external perspective is on these two. Namely that 'they don't get along.'#Tensions are known! Even here in Nouveau Lotus Pier.#Ah...Lan Wangji never got a chance to see the Lotus Pier of Wei Wuxian's childhood and adolescence...did he?#It's not the same. He's not the same. Call them by the same name and people will know what you mean...#...but the first version - the one with the fond memories - is gone for good.#It's sort of interesting isn't it? How names can hold so much power and still be hollow?#We often get stuck over past versions of things. Be it ourselves or other people or places.#Change is scary but the truth is nothing ever stays the same. It's always moving. You're always moving.#It's okay to mourn the past. Maybe it's people you lost or the person you hoped to be. Let yourself feel the grief.#And then? Then you grow around that pain and keep on going. If you feel like you can't - remember you don't have to do it alone.#A side note: Listening to the tossing flowers extra is so essential for this scene. It's cute and gives us more of [redacted]#What's [redacted]? You'll see in the next comic!
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The thing about the time lords is yeah they’re a super powerful species, it wouldn’t be all that inaccurate to call them gods of time, but you get yourself a time lord and like 70% of the time it’s like oh this is a guy I could kick in the shins really hard and get away with it unscathed
#they are very powerful but few time lords actually seem to know how to use that power (or really even just the idea of that power) outside#of gallifrey and it’s practically unchanging systems of power#like there’s definitely a few that are formidable all on their own#but like take your average time lord out of gallifrey and they’re not much more than a smart and time sensitive some guy#like look at fucking spandrell and engin#or most of the chancellery guard#they don’t actually have any skills/powers outside of the ones placed upon them by gallifrey#get them alone and they’re nothing#the time lords power comes from their reputation and the systems built at the beginning of their society more than like#some sort of time lordness#doctor who#time lords
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2.08 | 3.04
#bridgertonedit#polinedit#colinbridgertonedit#perioddramaedit#perioddramasource#weloveperioddrama#onlyperioddramas#**#bridgerton#polin#otp: you are special to me#did i make these b/w bc i got frustrated trying to color the second gif and gave up? maybe so#also dont know if this has been made yet but i havent seen it#but its the way in the first one he says come w me and grabs her hand#and the second one he asks her to come and reaches out his hand for her to grab#and how in the first one the implications that exist w propriety and society w him pulling her into a private room alone#and how that could very easily have resulted in her being compromised or a forced engagement/marriage and then didnt#and it wasnt even something on his mind at all (even if it was on hers)#vs the second one which does result in a proposal (and which also involved a compromising situation) that was very much intentional from#him (and unexpected for her)
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Day: 13 "Alternate Era"
I did the wrong day by accident, but who cares
#lets just pretend I didn't know what to do for role swap#I want this one to be alone because I actually like how it turned out#it'd look weird with my other one lmao#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonic#shadow#sonadow#sonic fanart#lansoni#sonic and the black knight#sonadowtober
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Sex worker/Charity worker Halstarion AU ---
AU TAG To read them in order: [Part 1- Meeting] [Part 2-Embellish] [Part 3-Theory] [Part 4- Number] [Part 5- Bruise] [Part 6- Scenic] [Part 7- Nice Things (that's this one!)] [Part 8-Pizza]
#halstarion sw au#halstarion#bloodbear#halsin#astarion#listen#would he be alone on the street apart from one guy?probably not#but I do not want to draw more people#imagine some more of cazadors swers hanging about#also if astarion is chatting to halsin to this extent its because cazador is elsewhere that night#halsin does not know how bad it is yet#thats why he's not pushing much#my art
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megan thee stallion is the perfect example of unbothered energy. nicki has repeatedly vagueposted about her, gone on unhinged rants about her, gone so far as to mention her dead mother (such a classless low blow), threatened her on live, and has now released the tackiest diss track in history. and what has megan done? literally nothing. she straight up ignored her, aside from that one ig story where she posted herself laughing (which was perfect btw). she is the epitome of “i will not dignify that w a response.” i love it.
#btw i was rly into megan before it became trendy now in light of her dropping hiss / the nicki debacle#nicki’s latest music has been ass anyway but it’s sad to see her behaving like this to newer rap girls#the parasocial hate is literally so intense / insane like i can’t imagine hating someone enough to be persistently harassing them like this#nicki’s a celeb so you’d think she’d know a thing or two about how dangerous it is to pit her fans on somebody else like this#unless this is all just a bid to stay relevant which i would not be surprised ab but nicki seems PRESSED.#i guess if i released something like pink friday 2 id also be feeling threatened by a new rap girl w the bars megan has#i just want her to leave my homegirl megan alone. good on megan for ignoring and living her best life. the energy i wanna emulate#i’m not usually one to play into the whole pit women against other women thing but nicki’s recent actions are so inappropriate. wild#btw megan majored in health administration in uni?? which is a major factor as to why i’m obsessed w her. anyway#text
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it brought you a gift
#i know that animation was meant to show how it feeds off rampage monsters#but it had the vibe of a cat bringing you a dead mouse as a gift. and said mouse later turning out still alive#one of my favourite mons now but i very much hope i will not be forced to face it alone ever again#monster hunter#monster hunter rise#magnamalo#arzuros#stupid hell cat with deadly zoomies
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I ❤️ Balin 🥹
#bagginshield#thilbo#thorin x bilbo#Bilbo#bilbo baggins#balin#balin the dwarf#tolkien#digital sketch#fanart#planetvries art#my art#♈️ art#balin is so sweet and I love that he cares for thorin#and defends Bilbo when that goldsickness hits thorin#and how he interrects with Bilbo is so sweet I LOVE GRANDPAAA 😭❤️#when he’s crying all alone in that one scene and then Bilbo comes in to ask him about the arkenstone— AGH MY HEART#😭😭😭#anyway that balin was just gonna be a little bust sketch#but I really liked how he turned out!#and then I added in a Bilbo sweating under his gaze bc of course#working on some Legolas and Gimli stuff too so stay tuned for that!#balin: I know thorin gave you that mithril shirt lad#bilbo: oh uh— I mean— I suppose he did— how did you know that—?#balin: we all saw#Bilbo: *confused* uhhh… yes… well… alright then#balin: *clasps his shoulder* congrats lad#Bilbo: ……….excuse me what#balin: 🥹#Bilbo: …. what is happening right now???
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Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#the fact that people think scum villain#-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction-#is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me#especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater#heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series#he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters#(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy)#I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters#like example off the top of my head-#the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx#I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes#side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me#i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation#but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years#like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right?#being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain#the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too#+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu#as “so bland he's tempted to throw salt on himself” and “all he could do is lay around and wait for death” (<-paraphrasing)#bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people#another point on “Shen Yuan isn’t lazy” is just the sheer amount of studying that man does#also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be#he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students#and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing#+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this#but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy
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I'm sorry but the irony of Nico calling Max unprofessional is sending me so bad like sir there's an entire garage full of people, who were literally in the trenches trying to survive the Brocedes fallout while just doing their jobs, who might have a few things to say about your (& Lewis') level of professionalism at that time 😭✋️
#f1#formula 1#formula one#max verstappen#nico rosberg#lewis hamilton#brocedes#like niki lauda had to try multiple times to literally parent trap them to try and get them on speaking terms it never worked#because one would arrive they'd see the other and the other would leave#& if i remember correctly the garage crew would swap around from race to race as a like see we aren't favouring anybody gesture 😭#and thats no shade to nico because it was both of them contributing to that environment#his comment re max is just making me laugh#like if i was a part of the pr/media team - which is a part of the degree I'm working on irl - at merc that year i would've lost the plot#like its insane reflecting on it nearly a decade later but the poor souls just trying to do their job in the eye of that storm#truly gods strongest soldiers#ngl the professional comment irks me a bit because its not like max is engaging in inappropriate work place behaviour#he's engaging in another aspect of racing that his involvement raises awareness of & that makes racing more accessible#& we all know how inaccessible not only getting into racing is but also to continue to pursue the further along you go#theres so many stories of 1 sibling giving up racing so the other can keep going because the family can't afford for them both to race#its a huge financial strain & we only see a handful of drivers talk about that & try to do something to change it#and nicos fellow sky sports commentators are routinely unprofessional on so many levels#additionally max had a lot of valid reasons to be annoyed at his team today#but alas he's not english so he's ungrateful#i hate that drivers can't criticise their teams or car without immediately being branded as bratty & ungrateful#ESPECIALLY WHEN THEIR JOB IS TO GIVE FEEDBACK#you can see the double standards from sky when say Lando or George have complaints with their team/car v the likes of Max and Yuki#especially Yuki my god the things i would do to get the British media to leave him alone#this was a jokey post at one point and then became a rant whoops lmao#I'll leave it that before i write an actual essay here 😭✋️
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HC they first met a year or two after Yelan got her vision; post fighting the in abyss but when Kaeya was still navigating his identity from Kaeya, Brother and Right hand of Diluc Ragnvindr to Kaeya Alberich, Cavalry Captain and Quarter master of the Knights of Favonius.
#We know Kaeya's a bit of a sadist and does leave his men in the dark most of the time#Back when he he'd been newly appointed i feel he'd be quite reckless as to how much 'pushing' his knights could handle on missions#used to working from diluc's shadow rather than being the one to direct commands#And Yelan after her experience in the Abyss chooses to work alone and secrectively so that the lives of her comrades won't be in danger#She sees that Kaeya operates very much like her but he does not have the luxury to work as 'freely' as she does when it comes to official#missions for there are still people working under him#(ofc both of them do whatever they want when it comes to going of abyss side quests)#There's no way she doesn't feel some sort of kinship they're really similar in many aspects#she does not want to see a repeat of her certain mistakes#Yelan is also questioning how the actual fuck do the knights operate because why is a 16yr old beefing with her to get to a mafia boss firs#They come to 'good terms' as time passes where they have mutual respect for each other#both of them try their best to outwit each other form time to time of course#Kaeya being petty(er) and Yelan being 'i need to set this guy straight'#But back then after seeing Kaeya work missions for the first time Yelan's thinking that this kid is too smart for his good#additional hcs for Back In That Day#Yelan: -still hasn't gotten her signature bob. -often uses a crutch because Abyss did a number on her and her pre existing chronic illness#Kaeya- has a fuckass mullet#yeah.. my apolocheese for the ramble#genshin impact#genshin impact fanart#kaeya#kaeya alberich#yelan#yelan genshin impact#kms mention
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