#Bilbo

[midnightstar789]

After-School Adventures of a Young Dwarf a Pebble and a Faunt

Fili was Stressed. Capital S and everything. His Uncle's were trusting him to drive the car he had gotten for his coming of age home AND picking up his siblings!

Only Kili wasn't at the pick up location for the younger students. Nor was he at the secondary location they had agreed upon just this morning when he dropped him off for school. He had to argue with a previous teacher of his to allow him to leave his car in the line and go looking for his brother, which he was finally allowed after the teacher commented about "Stubborn as any Durin".

"Kili! Come on, it's time to go!" Fili called as he caught sight of his younger brother talking to a copper haired elf just outside the gym that was reserved for the after-school archery program, their bow cases resting next to their respective owners. His brother turned towards him excitedly.

"Fee! Meet my new friend Tauriel! She almost outdid me for the pop coupon!" He said as he dragged the female elf towards Fili by the hand, missing the blush his actions caused on her face.

"Nice to meet you Tauriel, Kili get your bow and lets go! I left the car running in the pick up line to find you and I can't let it get stolen after Uncle Thorin went through the trouble to fix Adad's old car up for me." Fili said shortly as he gave a nodding bow to the elf and separated their hands. Kili pouted but did as asked. Turning to Tauriel he gave a playful smirk as he said goodbye.

Fili chivied his younger brother all the way to the thankfully still there car. Giving a stressed smile to the impatient teacher on pick-up line duty he waited until his brother was buckled up to carefully pull away from the curb. He waited until they were only three blocks away from home to begin breateing Kili for not being where he was told to be at the time he was supposed to be as he didn't feel comfortable enough anywhere else in the drive to do so.

Turning the car off in the driveway of their home, he didn't think anything of the fact that both of their uncles where waiting on the porch for them instead contuining to lecture his surprisningly compliant brother as they both got out of the car and began to make their way up the path.

"Welcome home boys-" Thorin's deep voice started only to be cut off by the irate tenor of his hobbit husband.

"Fili. Where's Frodo?" Fili stopped dead in the middle of the path, looking up at Bilbo where he leaned forward on the rocking chair he favored for his afternoon teas. Bilbo looked like he was contemplating murder.

"Frodo? Isn't Balin-" Fili began even as Kili piped up from just behind him, panic in his voice.

"Fee, we dropped Frodo off this morning!"

"Uh, we'll go get him??" Fili said uncertainly in the face of the look his Hobbit uncle was leveling him with. Blowing out a large sigh, Bilbo looked at his Dwarf who was doing his level best to appear stern with his oldest nephew/son, but Bilbo could see the amusement in his eyes with the plight said nephew had found himself in. Narrowing his eyes he turned back to the frightened golden haired young dwarf.

"Since you are finding amusement in this, Dear, you get to go with Fili to explain to the school why Frodo wasn't picked up at the proper time! Kili will get a head start on his homework while you two are retrieving Frodo." He declared as he stood from his chair and gestured for Kili to enter the house. Thorin sputtered as Kili scampered up the porch steps, his bow case nearly nocking one of the planters over in his haste to get inside. Turning to head inside he stopped in front of his still seated husband. "Pick up dessert on your way back with Frodo and I'll think about allowing Fili to try again next week." He said before heading inside and locking the door behind himself. Seeing Kili struggling to get his case to stay in the hall closet he went to help him.

Fili deflated as Bilbo headed into the house after Kili, his shoulders hunching up as Thorin approached him. Feeling the hand on his shoulder he looked up and frowned at the smirk on his uncles face.

"Come on, lets go get your cousin. Did I ever tell you the story of the first time Bilbo was supposed to pick you boys up for me?" Thorin said as he moved towards the cars passenger side allowing Fili to slide behind the wheel once more. Fili shook his head as he backed carefully out of the driveway.

~That's the end for now at least!

@nostalgicnarrator, @shipper47 Do either of ya wanna try a "What's Frodo up to during this?" addition? Or maybe the story Thorin alludes to? Absolutely no pressure to add or anything just thought it might be a fun little exercise!

{Goals: Bagginshield being so done with their young ones, Kili getting to know Tauriel, Fili struggling with being an young adult, Frodo being adorable/mischievous, Happy ending}

[sindar-princeling]

Bilbo barely passed Old Took's record lifespan after having a supernaturally-life-extending ring for 60 years. which begs a question. what the hell did Old Took do

[themoonstonechronicler]

"why did the ring mostly affect frodo and not bilbo who had it for a gazillion years" objectively has a textual answer but i think the best answer is that sauron just likes bilbo more than frodo

bilbo: *uses the ring to hide from his relatives*

sauron, remembering almaren: yknow. real.

[hagofbolding]

I’ve reprinted this Smaug risograph a few times now and I’m really digging the HOT fluorescent orange on brown paper in this batch 🤌 These have been restocked and are up in my shop!

[the-eclectic-penguin]

[starknesskenobi]

I love that canonically Sauron is an arts and crafts enjoyer like RIP Sauron my king you would've fucking loved the hot glue gun

[chechula]

Smaug and tiny Bilbo for art trade with my dear friend ♥ (she made dragon pottery for me, as her part of trade ♥ )

[godsplatter]

honeybees n beds of hay in beorn's garden

[zevampirex]

Dream team✨

[autistook]

Bilbo Baggins as text posts

[variousfandomthoughts]

The dwarves after eating at Bilbo’s house: See how we didn’t break the dishes and put them away? Very mindful, very demure.

Bilbo: I-

[basil--and--sage]

Reshirement AU, in which Thorin and Bilbo decide to get married and celebrate their stag nights following their respective cultural traditions.

Thorin sits with his family and friends in Bag End and gets his hair braided and himself pampered, while they talk about his hopes and dreams for his upcoming marriage. He blushes frequently.

In the meantime, Bilbo gets cheered on by about 60 of his relatives, while he does a keg stand.

[eglerieth]

Some of y’all are not appreciating Bilbo Baggins enough. I am here to remedy that. This guy has:

• somehow managed to establish himself as a respectable, staid hobbit by the time he was fifty, despite being both a grandson of Bullroarer Took and the Shire champion of pretty much every aiming-game known to hobbitkind

• had an in-depth debate on pleasantries with a random guy passing by in the street, who turned out to be GANDALF

• collapsed in front of his own fire shaking and muttering “struck by lightning” over and over again in response to hearing about dragons and danger

• mind you, this was after he screamed loud enough to startle a roomful of Dwarves

• signed up for a dangerous quest completely outside of his league out of spite

• when told to scout out a mysterious light, saw some trolls, and instead of reporting back with the information, decided to PICK THE TROLLS POCKET

• arrived in Rivendell for the first time and said it “smelled like elves”

• upon meeting a strange creature that visibly wanted to eat him, he decided to play a riddle game with him- and guessed pretty much every one, and made up his own riddles, afraid and alone, that not only were good and full of linguistic puns, but actually stumped the other guy- AND THEN CHEATED AND WON WITH A QUESTION

• showed mercy to said strange creature who wanted to kill him, and was now standing between him and freedom

• eavesdropped on the dwarves arguing over whether to try to save him, then popped up casually smack in the middle of them just as they were debating

• somehow managed to sleep like a log at the really really high eyrie full of wild predators

• found himself in a bad situation, said eff it, and turned around and antagonized and fought off an insane amount of man eating spiders, like enough of them that fifty was a small portion, by singing at them with incredibly complex and punny insulting songs composed on the spot, while simultaneously slaying them in multitudes despite having zero combat training. Seriously, we don’t discuss enough how epic the spider scene is.

• broke a company of dwarves out of the very secure prison of the Elvenking by inventing white water rafting with barrels

• charmed his way out of being eaten by a dragon

• stole the frickin Arkenstone from the guys who employed him, one of whom was a king

• took part in an epic battle, only to be knocked out in the first ten minutes and miss the entire thing

• was named elf-friend by the guy who’s prisoners he sprung

• wrote his own autobiography, complete with all the narrative recognition of his own heroics

• spent 60 years writing said autobiography

• taught his lower class neighbor’s kid how to read

• taught his nephew Elvish- not only Sindarin, but Quenya too

• spent decades telling his cousins his own story as fairy tales, complete with character impressions accurate enough that one of them was able to fool a servant of the Enemy with a second hand impression

• used the One Ring of Power to hide from his neighbors

• planned an elaborate feast with multiple social faux pas to mess with his neighbors, complete with a purposefully bewildering speech and culminating in him vanishing into thin air in front of everyone

• left his cousins and neighbors very unsubtle passive aggressive gifts in his will

• settled into Rivendell, randomly befriended the heir to the throne of like half of Middle Earth, and apparently spent his time writing very personal poems about his hosts and reciting them to crowds of elves

• after being invited to a Council of basically every major kingdom in the continent, spent a quarter of the time reciting vague poems about his friends, a quarter of the time telling anyone who would listen about his heroic past, and half the time interrupting to ask when lunch would be

• volunteered to bring the ring to Mordor

• became one of only four or five mortals in history to live in Valinor

Seriously, Bilbo Baggins may well be the most chaotic, insane person in the entire legendarium, and that includes the likes of people like Finrod “bit a werewolf to death to save the life of guy who he just met and gave up his kingdom for” Felagund.

[itsgeniuskay]

his ass is SO in love with Bilbo lmao

Do you think he noticed his stupid grin or did it take him by surprise?

[shire-lady-rozie]

[idontcarecarebear]

I love comparing book Thorin and to movie Thorin especially when they first meet Bilbo and book Thorin lands flat on his face being crushed by Bifur, Bofur and Bombur, pulls out a beautiful harp that he’s been carrying the whole time to the shire and even after they leave the shire, gives compliments to Bilbo about being a generous host and talks about the hair on his feet and movie Thorin just saunters in looking like a sexy mysterious man in the night ready to whisk away poor Bilbo but his brain wasn’t working quick enough to keep up with the charade and insults Bilbo instead.

And I love both of them and would love it if they both met and thought the other version was a complete moron.