#back on my silmarillion shitposting

[themoonstonechronicler]

"why did the ring mostly affect frodo and not bilbo who had it for a gazillion years" objectively has a textual answer but i think the best answer is that sauron just likes bilbo more than frodo

bilbo: *uses the ring to hide from his relatives*

sauron, remembering almaren: yknow. real.

[sauronnaise]

Maglor: If Moryo was green-faced instead of being red, what would you do?

Caranthir: Pardon me-

Maedhros: Be concerned?

Amrod: Call the doctor?

Celegorm: Throw a party. 'Congratulations, you're related to Shrek!'

[eloquentsisyphianturmoil]

The Book of Lost Tales (part 2) loves archaic language, but luckily I am here to translate:

‘Growing weary of the concourses of folks’ -> autistic burnout hitting hard. Must touch grass

‘had his heart not been filled with love for a woman of the Gondothlim’ -> ‘damn I hate this city I’m going to *remembers no one can leave Gondolin* fall in love with the princess’

‘Voronwë whom he loved, and who loved him exceeding greatly in return’ -> bros. Chums. Best buddies

‘many things became clear to him that were unclear before’ -> gay awakening they're boyfriends now

‘and many things known that are still unknown to mortal men’ -> the masses can never hear about polyamory. IdrilxTuorxVoronwë would kill them

[caenith]

But Túrin, deeming himself now an outlaw and fearing to be held captive, refused Mablung’s bidding, and turned swiftly away;

Every time I reread this chapter of the Silm/the CoH I am violently reminded how bizarre this whole scene is and how extra Turin is.

Mablung: Dude, let's just talk to the king, there are multiple witnesses, I'm sure he will just say it was a terrible accident.

Turin: NO I AM NOW AN OUTLAW

Mablung: No, just listen...

Turin: I MUST GO INTO EXILE

Mablung: 😐

[eloquentsisyphianturmoil]

once upon a a mingling shiny while I carved a statue tiny came a sound a little whiny from my chamber door

the hinges squealed a lament craven Footsteps encroached on my haven but the noise was not a raven it was Feanor

Fëanor is a crow. No I will not be taking constructive criticism

[thateviljewler]

Is this it...?

Is this how I make posts?

I feel like my granny fighting with emails... Literally dunno how to tumblr. Anyway, I'm Katriona, she/her, adult nerd. Made this account months ago to look at pretty art, but might as well make something of it.

Larp is my passion so i might post some ocs or costumes I make. Sometimes I do cosplay as well.

Currently back to Silmarillion hell. That being said, I might or might not throw my silm shitpost on here, be it memes, headcannons or whatever else.

Back in my teenage years I used to do (not only) Silm rp on instagram and am very tempted to go back to that on here (insta was toxic af 💀). I'm not a native english speaker, and though I can understand pretty much everything, I'm not that good at writing unfortunately.

I'm a Mairon kinnie so he's my main muse ig, but can do Thuri, Gothmog, Fingon, Tyelpe and Celegorm as well. I don't mind trying to write other characters, but it'll be my first time and I don't have as many headcannons for them

If anyone is willing to rp with me (1 on 1 or group, both is fine), pls hmu.

Also is there some kinda tumblr etiquette? I don't see a lot of comments on posts, is that normal on here? Which tags should I use to have reach but not litter the tag boards or whatever they're called? I'm so confused lol

[thatfeanorian]

Back On My Silmarillion Shoe Bullshit

I’m so sorry but cursed casting was mentioned and there’s new shoes on the internet...

Aredhel because the big dick energy in these is monumental

Maeglin. No need to explain.

Nerdanel (anything will work when you’re up at 2 am sculpting with a 4 month old)

Nienna (IDK why, just vibes.)

literally all of the teleri

Celegorm, because he’s gotta have valinor wheelies and keep his animals with him at all times.

Fingolfin because he’s a “real man”, yk?

Ungoliant

Rochallor (I’ve been horribly enabled and it is now canon that the noldor make people shoes for their horses, change my mind)

[navyinks]

you know how the feanorians lived in a time when photography didn’t exist & the only way to know what someone looked like was through a portrait of them, well anyway

maglor puts the painting under the “find hot, comely singles in your area” column of the tirion times

[crysdrawsthings]

So because I am very normal about Silmarillion and it outweighs me having the confidence of a wet noodle I think there are some details that should be noted for the whole background part

Okay, let's hope I still remember my stuff

1) With Ungoliant I think one of the funniest parts is that between several drafts and editions no one really knows what exactly is she supposed to be ultimately. Between editions she was a creature of primordial night or a rogue spirit among the Ainur or self-formed from the outer darkness as a response to Morgoth's tantrums, but largely she has just invited herself into the plot.

So calling her a deity is not entirely wrong, but there is Nuance.

2) With the tiers of deities it is a bit weird, because yes, there are Ainur as a general name for the group of these powerful spirits. And among them there are Valar, who are the most powerful and kind of like "chief gods" (listen, I am not Christian enough to explain it from the archangels standpoint), and there are Maiar, who are largely less powerful and work on assistant positions.

But it is not precisely clear-cut in terms of strength as some among Maiar are very strong, like Sauron or Eonwe, while others are not. Balrogs were actually also Maiar, just playing for the evil team. And one of them drowned in a fountain after being stabbed by a pointy helmet.

With Wizards (Gandalf, Saruman, Radagast and Blue Wizards) I believe they were artificially nerfed before coming to the Middle-Earth for balance reasons, but are otherwise in their normal state also Maiar. Maiar is a broad group. Giant talking Eagle is supposedly a Maia. You lovely infrequently talking dog called Dog might also be a Maia.

3) I don't recall Morgoth being after any nectar in particular, Ungoliant was slurping tree juice, yes, but I don't think he partook.

I believe the essence of their deal was that Ungoliant will help him destroy Two Giant Glowing Trees (from which later came the Moon and the Sun, but I digress) and cause some mayhem, while he in turn would feed her pretty gems with both of his hands, phrasing crucial.

In the end Morgoth tried to keep gems called Silmarils, obtaining which was his second, secret agenda, which Ungoliant didn't like and tried to murk the guy only to be defeated by a host of Balrogs, who have arrived after Morgoth started yelling. They actually do have an entire geographic area named after that. Lammoth, the Great Echo.

4) I don't believe Sauron had any... Relation or claims to Silmarils. The one who wore them between him and Morgoth was actually the later, made a special Iron Crown for that.

5) I would hesitate to think that Sauron attacking Shelob would have any effect on Morgoth and Ungoliant relationship not lastly due to the fact that Ungoliant by the time of LotR is most likely and highly suspected to be dead (and would be confirmed so by text in some earlier drafts, iirc), while Morgoth was banished to the Shadow Realm more or less and will only get back for the Middle-Earth version of the Ragnarok. If at all (canon status of Dagor Dagorath is dubious at best).

Might also be too busy shitposting on Twitter for all we know.

Thinking of the larger context of LOTR and like, the fellowship swapping old war stories and shit and Sam just says “Yeah I killed a huge spider…Shelob, I think?”

And Gandalf just blinks and is like, “You what now?”

“Yeah, killed it. Had to save Frodo”

Gandalf elects not to tell Sam that he killed the spawn of a primordial demon.

[gossip-girl-of-middleearth]

Lord of the Rings TV Show Announcement:

Reposted to Reddit, originally posted by Jeff Bezos:

Someone in the comments said, “It’s like Sauron himself holding the sign, yet more evil.”

What are your guys’ thoughts on the latest development?

[erynalasse]

Imagine if Fingon followed the example of his father and his uncle and tacked an extra fin(wë) onto his name when he became king

If Finwë-Nolofinwë becomes Fin/golfin? Well, Finwë-Findekáno doesn’t sound horrible, but oh boy… Finfingon sounds ridiculous. No wonder he didn’t go for it.

[actuallyfingolfin]

Then Sauron sprang upon Lúthien; and she swooned before the menace of the fell spirit in his eyes and the foul vapour of his breath.

listen i know this probably is some evil maia Thing but i think it would be absolutely hilarious if this meant sauron doesn’t brush his teeth

[sauronnaise]

Curufin: Do you know how stupid one can be?

Celegorm: I don't know, but I wanted to sneeze the other day, and I sort of forgot how to.

[eloquentsisyphianturmoil]

Idril was blonde and Tuor was blond, but the cosmic force of Melian’s maiarin genetics prevail once again and deliver to the peredhil the same pale skin, grey eyes, and raven hair that they delivered to Lúthien, to Dior, to Elwing, and assumedly every single Dunedain down to Aragorn. The unconquerable gene will eventually rule all. This explains why introducing one (1) idiot can kill all future geniuses, and a good deal of people should take it into account.

[cad-faoi-maeglin]

When it comes to the legendarium, Jirt is that parent who doesn't even try to pretend that he has favourites

Elves: Engage in a war over shiny rocks for several millennia, massacre eachother on more than one occasion, frequently look down on anyone who isn't also an Elf.

JRRT: Perfection! A better people have never existed!

Humans: Get anxious because god won't elaborate on that whole only-being-'vistors'-in-the-world-and-are-doomed-to-leave-it thing. Think that's a bit ominous and feel maybe they'd like a bit of whatever fate the Elves are having.

JRRT: Ungrateful. Greedy. Volatile. Just the worst. Just get rid of them.

[avantegarda]

you: Annatar

me, an intellectual: