sauronnaise

[sauronnaise]

Frodo: Why don't you come drink tea with me at Bilbo's?

Merry: I can't.

Frodo: Why not?

Merry: He has this tall mop in front of his house. It really scares me.

Bilbo: It's not a mop, it's Gandalf.

[sauronnaise]

I dreamt that Fëanor and Fingolfin were arguing. Fëanor said something along the lines of, 'Veni vedi vici buene tiende bon bon bon'. Fingolfin threatened to drop his cellphone in the toilet.

Fëanor, very offended, shouted, 'Mi mi mi mi mi!!!'

He was so loud that it woke me up.

[sauronnaise]

I forgot Finarfin's Sindarin name for a moment. I thought he was Arafinwë, and only Arafinwë. Since I couldn't remember 'Finarfin', my logic went as follows:

"He never left Aman. Why would he have a Sindarin name if he's never met a Sinda to rename him?"

I would like to think I had some revelation, but no. Google proved me wrong.

[sauronnaise]

“I yap, therefore I rizz.”

—Fëanor, linguist extraordinaire.

[sauronnaise]

Pippin: I licked a salt lamp, once.

Merry: And?

Pippin: It was salty.

[sauronnaise]

Maglor: Who's the tallest?

Maedhros: Me, of course.

Galadriel: No-

Penlodh: I object.

Turgon: It's obviously me.

Thingol: Amateurs.

[sauronnaise]

Idril: I went to the woods for a walk.

Idril: It was more a 'let's dodge deer poop' mission than a proper walk.

Maeglin: And you still insist on going barefoot?

Idril: Yes.

Turgon, to Tuor: I promise I didn't raise her to be like this.

[sauronnaise]

Aredhel: Why do they call you 'hasty riser'?

Celegorm: *covers his crotch with his hands* Good question.

[sauronnaise]

Melkor: How to be relevant again?

Mandos: You don't.

[sauronnaise]

Aragorn: That battle was rough. It hurts.

Aragorn: Oh, my neck, my back-

Legolas: Lick my pus** and my crack?

Gimli:

[sauronnaise]

CFSC Information

Hello! If you're here, it's probably because you followed a few links on AO3 after finding one of our fanfics :3 This is the official Chaos-Fam Smut Blog, where we promote our writing, answer asks, and conduct our award system! In case it somehow isn't obvious, this blog is NSFT and meant for adult consumption ONLY.

Please interact respectfully.

What is CFSC?

This is the Chaos-Fam Smut Challenge. It's a private event run by and for the Chaos Fam discord server where we write a bunch of smut for each other, then post it publicly for all and sundry. We then make up silly awards and vote using the poll system to see which award each fic gets. It's very unserious.

Why create a whole collection and blog for a private event?

Because it seemed fun. Also Marcel (aka the one writing this post) is extremely extra, took one suggestion from a server member from two years ago, then ran with it. Probably ran too far. We'll have to see.

Anyways, thanks for stopping by! As of writing this (March 1st, 2025) this blog will most likely be quite empty. As we begin our challenge, we will use this blog to post snippets, answer asks, and bother each other in front of a live studio audience. So stick around if you want.

Polling will begin on June 22nd, 2025.

FAQ

[sauronnaise]

Nerdanel: What are these?!

Fëanor: Dwarf costumes.

Nerdanel: Why? Have you lost your mind?!

Fëanor: How many dwarves in Snow-White?

Nerdanel: Seven.

Fëanor: How many sons do we have?

Nerdanel: ...seven.

Fëanor: Et voil��.

[sauronnaise]

Maedhros: Mother has given birth. Again.

Fingon: Congratulations! Is it a boy or a girl?

Maedhros: Boys. They're two.

Fingon: Sweet! What are their names?

Maedhros: Monster 1 and Monster 2.

[sauronnaise]

“Maglor! Give me Celebrimbor back! He's my baby, not yours! Go make children of your own instead of stealing others'!”

—Angry Curufin.

[sauronnaise]

Caranthir: *screams in anger from the womb*

Fëanor, tearing up: That's my son, oh, that's my son!

[sauronnaise]

Mirkwood:

Celegorm: Well, here's one Elf they won't ensnare so easily. I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox! ...oh!

Thranduil: The Ñoldo breathes so loud, we could have shot him in the dark.

[sauronnaise]

How to wake Fëanorions up

Maedhros: Boys, wake up, mum is almost done packing! We're gonna be late!

Maedhros: Dad, do something! They won't get up!

Maglor: Can I?

Fëanor: As you wish, son.

Maglor, screaming his lungs out: WAKE ME UP INSIDE WAKE ME UP INSIDE

Maglor: CALL MY NAME AND SAVE ME FROM THE DARK

Maglor: *slams walls with great enthusiasm*