#no not those kind of rubs
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seb wants to be pet, too 😤💕 ((TYSM to @angel-fr0m-venus for asking how seb would react to clora petting all the cats around the school/hogsmeade BAHAHA. like a neglected puppy, thats how🐶))
#and thank you for the kind words as well!! im glad you like my content so much your ask was so sweet🥹💖and ty for the inspo!!#i like how yesterday i was all OH ART WILL BE SLOWER and then i immediately finish this and post it LOL.. this was supposed to be a doodle#i was getting my ass handed to me in elden ring last night and needed a break.......my spirit can only take so much#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow x oc#clora clemons#hogwarts legacy sebastian#choccyart#my family had to put our 18 year old black cat down this month so thats why i made clora petting a black cat🥲 MAY have teared up#also clora has a pet cat named winnie that seb knows about so i assume when he watches her pet all the cats hes like aw u miss him#but that only goes so far until he gets jelly and then HE wants rubs LOL#no not those kind of rubs#but also yes those kind of rubs🍆
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yknowwww there is something... deeply uncomfortable about the way mel never speaks directly to viktor in the 'build hextech weapons' scene. she really only speaks to jayce. plenty of people have pointed this out already but like the one scene they actually share a meaningful interaction and she treats him like he's beneath her. all this after jayce has emphasized how important viktor is, that hextech is theirs, together. she unequivocally ices him out, there's no other way to interpret this scene. the way it's shot too - from viktor's perspective, looking up at her, as though to reinforce the same belief in him. like he doesn't even bother expecting respect from her - or anyone from the upper echelon of piltover. he's fully accustomed to being dehumanized by everyone around him at this point. sometimes even by jayce, despite the trust they clearly have in each other.
then of course after this scene is viktor experimenting on himself. it's pretty clear that he has internalized his own dehumanization. crazy.
#dont open these tags unless you want to read an essay im so serious#quick disclaimer i do properly ship jayvik as of s2e9 aha#sorry abt the like. spam. but yk this what rewatching an insanely detailed show with fresh eyes does to a mfer#arcane#.txt#i think mel and jayce (among others) both exhibit the same kind of casual classism#jayce somewhat more obviously with his whole 'the zaunites are dangerous' spiel#and mel more subtly. its in the way she shows very little concern for the plight of the undercity until yk. it explodes in her face#she's been on the council for a decade. has done little but rub elbows with the elites of piltover and amass her own fortune#pretty clear she hasn't so much as blinked at the horrific state of zaun. this makes her a very willing participant in its oppression fyi#and then of course her treatment of viktor#ive seen it pretty heavily debated and i don't really see any reason to deny or defend these actions of hers#likewise when jayce accosts viktor and reprimands him for going to the undercity or makes a hextech weapon there's no reason to excuse him#these are clear examples of classist behaviour and i dont think it does anybody any favours to ignore it#jayvik#<-tagged bc those who do not want to read criticism of or about mel will likely have it blocked#im not here to stir the pot thanks#there's also something a bit kooky about the idea of 2 privileged rich kids commiserating about the sad state of the undercity#meanwhile a literal resident of said undercity whose perspective they could REALLY use is dying in a lab using his own body to try and#cure a common zaunite ailment/disease#meanwhile they wont help until they feel piltover is 'safe' (aka has WMDs to use against any perceived threat aha....)#anyway#its all very complicated and i dont doubt that their intentions were good (...mostly) but the road to hell and all that#it just rly bothers me that viktor was like. right there. a wealth of insight into zaun. and neither jayce nor mel even bother engaging him
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me when the narrative revolves around cycles and loops and repeated patterns on levels far greater than the characters have control over, or even knowledge of: >:)
#qsmp#tbh I’ve been expecting a reset of some kind since we saw all those old buildings like week one#rubbing my little hands together. themes. motifs.
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Randomly consumed today by the thought of henghill cuddles, but like from a specific point in their relationship, like after they've only recently started laying in the same bed together.
It's something that takes them a long time to work up to; they both have nightmares, and yeah, Dan Heng is a Vidyadhara and he can heal himself beyond anything Boothill could accidentally do to him, but still. Boothill is made of metal now. He's heavy. It wouldn't take much, just a single flailing limb to cause some damage. He still gets up after Dan Heng falls asleep, and sneaks down into the guest cabin in one of the other cars.
But he'll lay in bed with Dan Heng until then. At first Boothill would always try to situate a blanket between them, because well. Metal isn't exactly pleasant to cuddle. But more and more lately, he's noticed Dan Heng keeps worming his way around their soft barrier and just kind of...rubbing his hand along him? Open palm up the curve of his side, across the planes of his chest, into the star-shape at his solar plexus, down the plates of his abdomen, back to his side again. Fingertips tap soundlessly against metal, or press into dents and divots, or smooth over old scars in the steel.
"Ya don't hav'ta do that, ya know."
"Does it bother you?"
Dan Heng's hand has already stopped, settling somewhere on the futon, neutral ground. Boothill clarifies that no, it doesn't bother him. But he can't feel any of it. He only knows he's doing it because he can see the motion out of the corner of his eye. Dan Heng doesn't need to go through the extra effort to do things for him like he would someone with a normal human body.
And Dan Heng goes quiet, just long enough that Boothill gets curious and turns to look at him over his shoulder. He has the cute little furrow between his brows, like when he's thinking.
And then he opens that pretty mouth of his and says, "That's alright, I think I'm doing it for myself, anyway" and Boothill nearly wheezes because wow, Dan Heng is almost never quite that honest when it comes to himself fdklsajlkd
Boothill cackles in surprise and asks point blank what he means, because what could he be getting out of that? Given the implied permission, Dan Heng's hand starts it's usual route again. Side, chest, solar plexus, abdomen, side. Boothill can practically hear him chewing on his words.
"I like that you're warm," is what he finally says, and Boothill suddenly feels like a bullet has just grazed something vital. "All the processes you run increase your temperature," Dan Heng's hand fans out across a span of steel and he holds it there, like he's soaking up the heat. "And your metal is smooth, it feels pleasant to touch," his fingertips move in circles, slip into a divot perfectly sized, rub back and forth. Boothill silently wills one of his cooling fans threatening to open up to stay closed.
"I like how you feel under my hands. That's all." Headshot! No recovery possible.
"...Suit yerself, then," and Boothill quickly turns back over before Dan Heng can see it in his face, how close he just hit to his heart.
#honkai star rail#henghill#bootheng#hsr dan heng#hsr boothill#pardon me I read a really really good porno this morning and was feeling inspired fjdklasjfkld#Look soft fuzzy super plush things are my faves- but nice smooth metal is so so nice too.#you know those fidget toys that are silky smooth material and they just have like a perfect little divot to rub the pad of your thumb into?#that's the kind of thing I'm getting at.#plus. plus!!#Dan Heng seems to dislike the cold. And we see why in 2.4 when he comments that the Shackling Prison is as cold as he remembers it.#And Dan Heng sleeps in the archive for a reason. he likes the sense of security in there.#it's a huge deal for him after being so violently hunted for so long#and I love the thought that Boothill reminds him of that. He's warm and he whirs and he's made of metal like some of the machinery in there#Dan Heng likes that regardless of whether he realizes why or not.#he likes to touch him. he just likes how he feels <3#and I think that would be something important to Boothill too because like. I don't think he HATES his body or anything.#but he didn't exactly get it under happy circumstances. and he does consider his human body as a toll that had to be paid.#he refers to any malfunctions as frightening to other people in one of his parlor car lines.#he refers to himself as a man already dead.#So I think it would hit a little harder than Boothill's prepared for to hear Dan Heng not only doesn't mind but even likes his body as it i#they're so sweet I love them so much uweh#hsr#dan heng#boothill#my fics
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what's with that "fucked up ships" poll having both utenanthy and . akio and anthy in it. like huhwhat.
#what definition of “fucked up” are we going for here because i don't think those belong in. the same category of.. anything??#also. people calling akio and anthy a “ship” just rubs me the wrong way to begin with.#not because i necessarily think it means people are romanticizing it because i know there are 5000 different definitions of the word#but just because it makes it out to be some kind of fandom thing instead of just. you know. a part of the show?#like do we really need a fandom-ified word for every time there is a relationship protrayed in a story.#i'm not a fan of calling utenanthy a ship either for similar reasons but at least i know what people mean when they say it#(and yes i know “ship” is just a shortened form of “relationship” but they do have different connotations and it just pisses me off a little#when people seem to be allergic to using the full word in contexts where it is a lot more applicable.#that's just me being a fandom/shipping culture hater though)
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About the new Rainbow High episode, wasn't them using Sunny's things for the project kind of- inconsiderate? Since they couldn't ask her for permission.
I dunno, but if someone turned one of my plushies into a bag without asking, I'd be mad.
#those kinds of bags are really cool but you wouldn't want someone to use your things without your knowledge; right?#it just rubbed me the wrong way#rainbow high#sunny madison#rätposting
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New toys ✨ (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#I found a gift card that had been swallowed by my chair for the past ??months and so opted to get myself some new tools!#I've been wanting new erasers for sooooooo incredibly long now hwahh#I've been using stick erasers - the kind that you can kachunk out similar to a utility knife? Retractable like that - since high school#Even sharpening them to get a finer point - if you'll recall from my getting .3 drafting mechanical pencils I draw Very small lol#But they'd never stay sharp for long! And getting fine details had to fall on the editing side of things when I Wanted my paper to be clean!#So I finally bit the bullet and got myself some shiny news :D And then my laptop charger broke and I had to use the rest for that :/#But I still got the erasers so! I'll take it! Lol#And I do quite like them ♪ They still don't Quite beat out my current favourite brick eraser that I got I think two birthdays ago?#Or last Christmas? From my brother <3 Such a sweetheart ♥ It's been working Fantastically but it is - as stated - a brick#Fine details =/= brick#Which sucks Especially now because if you look at that second one - the examples - The Brick is an Excellent eraser!!#Leaves no scannable residue is Extremely clean and shiny! And it has a soft formula that is very friendly on the paper! I love it#If I could have a stick of That in my new mechanical guys I would in a heartbeat buuuut it's a different formula for stability :P#I get why but uughhhh#Not to say that the others are bad! There's also the learning curve element! Still getting used to them!#But you can probably guess that I doodled my positive reaction before scanning lol - it looks clean to the naked eye! Computers see more smh#I ended up with a multipack of all the same brand of erasers but in different shapes :) Two mechanical two bricks and one sharpenable#And one kneaded but those dry out so fast I tend not to use them lol#So far I have completely fallen for my sharpenable of all things haha ♪ It just has Such a fine point!! And a shavings brush on the end!#It's kind of silly with how long it is lol but I like it!#I think part of it Has been user error - I'm pretty sure I over-brushed some of my doodles which caused the graphite to rub off#Specifically into the supposed-to-be-white sections - if you remember the dream comic I made with Gaster and Papyrus you can imagine#Lots of residue that makes it a long edit :P The whole idea is to make editing easier by Not having lines or toning where it's not wanted!#Still a bit hit or miss but I'm Very willing to keep working with them haha - they make my page-eyes happy if nothing else#I feel like I can spend a bit more time on the drawing side of things - more willing to make it prettier before scanning :)#Which is what I want!! I want more time drawing and less time editing!! Even just proportionately#So I'm pleased overall ♪
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i need a little notes section to be added to all block list functions in social media bc my goldfish memory having ass don't always remember why i blocked someone
see i looove blocking ppl and curating my online experience with wild abandon, but that means it can be anything from 'this person is a fucking terf' to 'this person is harmless but has annoying opinions about fictional characters i like' to 'this person once said mango was disgusting and i took it personally'
so now tumblr or whatever is telling me i have a mf blocked and i gotta sit there and wonder if they're a bigot or just have bad opinions on cheesecake
#like are they a rabid bigot? do they think liking x fictional character means ur evil? do they spout 'no kink at pride' bullshit?#do they think thoughtcrimes are real? do they have the habit of woobifying ur favorite character?#were they a little too excited about the death of some random anime character and it put u off?#did they reblog one of those 'have you heard this song' polls and have utter dogshit opinions on your favorite song?#are they kind of a dick with a bully type sense of humor that rubs u the wrong way? do they just rly fuckin hate cheesecake for some reason#all these and more are reasons i can remember off the top of my head for blocking someone lol#i rarely remember why i blocked someone but i often remember the feeling of 😒 that inspired it lol#so i can usually trust past me even if i don't remember why i blocked someone#tho if i take the time to rifle through an acc i blocked the reason why usually eventually becomes evident#i am at least consistent lol#sketchy speaks
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having a crazy saturday night (reading the wikipedia page of eleanor roosevelt at 3 am)
#tay talks#deeply fascinating woman btw. the roosevelts? messy. obsessed with them#but also man#reading through these and seeing things teddy roosevelt did (who def had his issues) that were deeply anti big/private company#and was generally anti-capitalist and wanted protections for the environment and for the people#and looking @ now. just. Man. LMAO#anyways eleanor is so interesting. and also weirdly kind of disability advocate but unofficially so? LMAO#ALSO WAS A BI ICON UNOFFICIALLY SO? this woman truly has everything#idk everything going on has me like damn....i need to go back and look @ old political stuff.#those who do not know/learn history are doomed to repeat it etc etc#ive also been watching a lot of gilmore girls i think rory is rubbing off on me LKJDLGKJSDKG
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I don’t know, me personally, I just think two adults playing pretend & pretending being gross together with full open communication & consent between them is harmless, but maybe that’s just me.
#this is very much a vague post if there ever was one & I’m absolutely vagueing#again; pay attention to the wording & reread if you need to#I think adults playing pretend on its own is harmless as long as everyone involved consents to it#idk how much more simply I can put this tbh but had to unfollow someone over saying certain kinks are harmful#like wow okay if they knew my other blog they’d be saying I’m an absolute freak probably tbh#always seems to be younger folks who have the unhealthy takes about kink but in this case i cant say nothing yknow?#idk this person & they're going through some stuff so i can't really say anything without it sounding tone policing plus parasocial#but just because bad people like a kink doesn't make a kink bad; trauma too doesn't make a kink bad; uncomfortable maybe but not harmful#just like in general yknow? its only as harmful as you make it between yourself & others. Everyone has to communicate or the whole thing#will fall apart. In this case there was absolutely some communication issues which lead to trauma but also just seeing someone agree that#a kink I like is harmful is like idk made me super uncomfortable even if the person is traumatized & going through it still just yeesh#idk seeing someone you follow for a while be like 'yeah this kink you like is bad' when by itself its actually harmless just leaves a#bad taste in your mouth if that makes sense. it just really rubbed me the wrong way so mmm 😕#I hope that person gets all the help & support they need; I'm just uncomfy with the rhetoric of 'certain kink bad' when its just like not#you're traumatized actually is what's going on & that person who hurt you was into said kinks so now in your brain those r bad#absolutely fair way to feel; but adults playing pretend with these specific ones is absolutely not inherently harmful#& pushing that kind of mindset is also coincidentally something right wingers especially want right now & commonly so yeah no#I just bleh it makes me feel gross when other people say stuff akin to that like oh that's like SWERF rhetoric even if unintentional jeez 😓#mine#op
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how did you decide which musicians to include based off of the submissions?
So most of the competitors were submitted to me, and then I added in the rest myself based on who I was surprised not to see. There were really no rejects in the submissions unless they were too young or made music too late.
#btw for the people saying that i strategically picked who faced who so that certain people could win#i did not#it was random#idk if you were joking or not but it kind of bothers me because if it was intentional#i would not have put any frontrunners against each other right away#and i certainly wouldn't have put my faves against tough competition#sorry but those comments just really rubbed me the wrong way
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i've been seeing this dash game going around, so i thought i'd join in on the fun :D and thus...
#IT WAS PROBABLY NOTHING BUT IT FELT LIKE THE WORLD: musings.#*rubs hands together evilly* muahahah#i'm honestly kind of surprised that i didn't get at least one spicy choice related to blamore here NGL but JSJSJ oh well i suppose#the worship choice is spicy in it's own way though 👀 so uhhh. who knows maybe a few of those will come in tehe#rp memes.#dash games.
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Got to the part where Roman and Neo properly meet and I swear to ass if they go for a romantic angle with these two, I will vomit
#rwde#can i just say i DESPISE the whole 'ive never met someone like this before' trope when it's a first meeting#that shits always romantic coded and lame as hell#make them work for their dynamic dammit! you cant just skip the awkward intro phase to dive into the soul mate phase#esp when those characters are repressed and traumatized as hell. that makes this shit even *less* likely#i dont mind when theres a certain click to start off - ive experienced it myself - but you still gotta build on that and that takes time#i also just dont think Neo and Roman have that kind of chemistry#hardcore ride or die soul mates but in a familial way rather than romantic ya feel me?#anyway i dont think itll actually happen but that that makes the inclusion of this scene so fucking weird#Neo even BLUSHES#thats the hallmark romance sign in rwby itself!#and roman suddenly getting a bumbling tongue is just weird and unnecessary#smth abt it rubs me the wrong way but i cant quite discern why yet
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the fact that the comforting physical touch i yearn for lives in my memory almost exclusively attached to someone truly awful is so fucking infuriating
#every time i think about the kind of touch i want to offer someone#soothing on shoulders or rubbing hair back or head on my lap or whatever#the only FUCKING memories i have are HIM#i have a few tiny things with my friends in college but what i yearn for#is so thoroughly tainted by my one true and terrible experience#and i hate it so much i want to scream until there’s nothing left#i can’t have a fucking concrete image in my mind when i read or hear about those kinds of affectionate touches without remembering scum#i wish finding a therapist wasn’t so goddamn hard#b:personal#text post
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just saw a person online talking about how they have EDS and that's why they get "cigarette paper scars" and I googled and like
do you mean to tell me that everyone doesn't have these
#I feel like I'm constantly learning about my own symptoms from the internet ;;#I have those all over ;;#usually from like small things#cuts or tears or blisters#I get those from blisters fairly often I'd say#and I get the blisters just from my clothes rubbing up against me#'velvet skin' sounds so much nicer than it actually is#that shit's fragile#cw:#chronic illness#eds#I don't think my dad realized how easily my skin blisters until we were in Japan#he saw me bandaging my feet after walking a fair amount one of the days and he was kind of horrified#once I got a bad one (about and inch and a half long) on my stomach just by wearing leggings on a hot day lmao#I carry bandages with me everywhere in my purse#(but that's also partially bc I need latex-free ones and you never know)
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~
#just tag thoughts & will probably delete#also tw suicide#i am a little frustrated with the modern popular approach to suicide#particularly the idea that the responsibility for a suicide is completely individual#when it is pretty much always also systemic and collective by ways of#i dont think its usually fruitful to blame one other individual (ie h/bomb is not at any fault for anything that happens to somer/ton)#but the idea that we would all be Absolved just cause he did something wrong & it was rightly pointed out rubs me the wrong way#mostly because we have very little sense of or recourse for restorative measures over puniative justice#folks can say he was a shit they didnt want to die all they want but that kind of mental framing alone is part of the problem imo#& outside of this specific example#it would behoove us collectively to consider what we do to those who have inarguably committed some kind of wrong or harm against others#again im not like saying people shouldnt be criticized or anything. but what i am saying is that the court of public opinion can & does#swing an executioner's axe
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