#no idea what my emotions are
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BSU NEWS BROADCAST: "Black, Soft, Unearthly" Mention From Sam Reid
It's from:
Here's the moment it's brought up:
Here's the podcast he heard it on:
And of course it's @inkyblotposts that did the reading on Vampire Insider (and who met Sam Reid!)
And lastly, here's a link to "Black, Soft, Unearthly":
That's the news, fellow creatures of the night!
#the vampire chronicles#the vampire magnus#the vampire lestat#lestat/magnus#prince and prometheus#dark ages daddy#sam reid#feather in my cap#surreal but WONDERFUL moment#no idea what my emotions are#what a moment to be the Magnus Guy#bsu tvl#Spotify
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My mom named one of the street cats she feeds Tommy, so I thought to myself, "what if..."
#call of duty modern warfare 2#cod mw2#cod ghost#cod price#simon ghost riley#john price#cod fanart#cod comic#call of duty modern warfare#call of duty fanart#call of duty#this was supposed to be done a few days ago but uh. life said 'nah'#ngl shit is a little scary for me rn... but gotta finish this comic no matter what o7 lmao#ghost coping with the loss of his family with a family of stray cats... the idea still makes me sad :(#maybe it hurts for me more bc i lost my cat this year...#also drawing ghost cuddling with a kitten while he discussed his struggles with dealing with emotions... nobody does it like him#i had a different comic i originally planned on working on but then i realized i literally didnt have price show up for like. a year rip
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🌕Total Eclipse🌑
Writer: @zipzapzooooooom Editor: @onawhimsicot
Assistance: @gingermaple @kunehokki @corvidaearts @/mybrotherjoso7
and THE AMAZING COVER by googly88fancy!!
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NO WAY HERE IT IS part 1 of MY TEAM'S COMIC!! FOR @hotguycomiczine !!!!! :D
I pour my blood sweat and tears into this one fr. HGCZ is the most insane project i've been in and I am so so proud of it <3 Big giant shoutout to everyone that ended up in my team, without any of you I couldn't have done it and ty for putting up with my shit HASHDSAEHEGLP. <333
If you haven't yet checked out the entire monster of this amazing zine, def do so here! 🏹
Part 2 will be posted tmr but if u dont want to left on a cliffhanger. pspsppspssps🪤
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[ START | PREVIOUS | NEXT ]
[ MERCH ] [ MISC ]
#hotguy comics zine#hgcz#hgcz spoilers#goodtimeswithscar#grian#impulsesv#geminitay#pearlescentmoon#desert duo#hotguy#cuteguy#i mean what where's cg i only see grian-💥#hermitcraft#hermitblr#my art#comic#GOD I LOVE THIS PROJECT SM UEUAHEUAUFE TYPING THESE MADE ME EMOTIONAL AGAIN LMAO#there's so many behind the scenes stuff i can post now HASJHEJE I'll get on to it later maybe!! :D#bug beloved. my bastard child. still cant believe the team ended up letting me do the final design tbh i am so honored i love this lil guy#and GIANT ASS SHOUTOUT TO ZZ THIS WAS THE *BEST* IDEA EVERRRRRR HEHEEHHEE#ok i WILL stop rambling but!!!! please please please check out the whole zine if u havent already. it is just. phenomenal#<3
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@themolluscasometimes said she wanted a Skinhe plush and now this skin creature lives in her home because I asked 'how much do you want one?' and everything spiraled from there. The most interesting part of all this has been explaining who and what he is to people not in the know - stay insane svsss fandom
#I have no idea what to tag this. my art? my sewing?? who cares I don't post enough that this won't be easy to find again#svsss#scum villains self saving system#luo binghe#skinhe#my specialist little flesh homunculus#this design is based on the skinhe art by piosplayhouse!#fun fact his eyes are googly eyes with nail polish over them so they make a rattling sound when you shake him#and his hair is basically a custom wig sewn onto his head - I pulled apart a ponytail extension wig and then sewed them onto a tiny wig cap#tailored to fit his massive head. I also hand tied parts of the fringe to make sure it looked right. I could have styled it better#but my straightener is old and not suited for doing anything at this scale#anyway he's already become a custom emote in a discord server and is very loved. as he should be.
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YOU'RE IN MY VEINS, YOU FUCK
Henry Miller from a letter to Brenda Venus Dear, Dear Brenda: The Love Letters of Henry Miller to Brenda Venus // boygenius We're In Love // Francisco de Zurbarán Agnus Dei // Katie Maria I used to be a hole in the ground (via @heavensghost) // Rafael Nicolás Angels Before Man // Céline Sciamma Portrait de la jeune fille en feu // Kate Moss in a text message to Pete Doherty // Sophocles Antigone // Joan Didion South and West // Richard Siken Editors Pages: The Long and Short of It // Japanese Breakfast Boyish // VIVINOS Alien Stage; "ROUND 6" // Li-Young Lee I Loved You Before I Was Born // Hannibal; "Secondo" dir. Vincenzo Natali // Hozier Francesca
#this has been in my drafts forever lmao i forgot what the original idea was oops#anyways happy 中秋 everyone !! 中秋快乐!#on love#on devotion#on obsession#on emotion#on heartbreak#poetry parallels#poetry compilation#web weave#web weaving#henry miller#brenda venus#boygenius#francisco de zurbaran#celine sciamma#portrait of a lady on fire#kate moss#pete doherty#sophocles#joan didion#richard siken#japanese breakfast#vivinos#alien stage#li young lee#hannibal#poem#spilled poetry#poetry
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ANOTHER SKETCH DUMP! Featuring more of me playing with lineless art. Batman reborn era trio (dick, damian and steph) I miss you...when will you return from war. Also featuring Steph designs bc I've seen ppl dissatisfied w/ her current look, some good mom Talia, and Jason Todd poetry club. Duke is confused not that Jason would start a poetry club but that he'd have such mid poetry opinions. (ID in Alt)
#dc comics#batfamily#damian wayne#stephanie brown#dick grayson#talia al ghul#duke thomas#cassandra cain#mine#woo new art tag. please god let me keep this up all year#uhh anyway yeah! still a big backlog of sketches but i got burnt out which means i had time to collect some#i feel like my art looks. extremely different w/o lines compared to with? idk i worry that's it weird/off-putting#but hey at the end of the day I'm hardly worrying about my brand integrity on tumblr dot com#duke and cass being at poetry club is based on them canonically being into poetry and for a good while duke and jason got along well#Steph is there for both jason and cass' emotional support (unfortunately there's a design flaw. she can't do both simultaneously)#(which is fine bc cass is fleeing the scene at the idea of having to casually hang out with jason)#(they're the exact amount of similar and more importantly different that it's like putting two firecrackers together. bad)#i really like the steph mask designs... it'd be fun to do something with them but idk what y'know?#I'm just like. if we're assuming that her mask has to be different from both babs and cass then this is what I've got as alternatives#i mostly wanted to practice character interaction with the talia and damian one... and also i love them#looking at james gunns batman movie proposal. you keep your hands OFF HER MR GUNN#please if shes evil in a movie they're never gonna let her be good in the comics again 😭#dc when you inevitably cave and do your next big reboot let the ppl finally have the son of the demon origin (w/ tweaks of course)#idk it's canon in my heart. heartcanon if you will <3#anyway yeah uhhhhhh enjoy?
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every year on this date i redraw + add onto a comic i first made in 2019! lets get this started, shall we?
6 years in the making!
[2019] [2020] [2021] [2022] [2023] [2024: you are here!]
#persona 5#p5#ann takamaki#p5r#futaba sakura#makoto niijima#haru okumura#p5 morgana#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#ryuji sakamoto#yusuke kitagawa#goro akechi#sumire yoshizawa#kasumi yoshizawa#toshiro kasukabe#p5t erina#zenkichi hasegawa#akane hasegawa#p5s sophia#sophia p5s#shiho suzui#p5t spoilers#waaah 6 years omg#drawing this comic always makes me a little emotional but thank you everyone fr#2019 gryffin had no idea what kind of platform it would have today#heres to another great year :)#comics#i will fill the p5s tag my fucking self if i have to#1k
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I feel bad for neglecting Hazel so much, I do have many thoughts about her.. and also a mermaid au that im probably not going to do anything with
#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#hazel wells#fop hazel#fop dev#dev dimmadome#art#digital art#doodles#I wish Hazels parents were more flawed tbh...#Like I get why they wanted to have them be good rep so that young people could know what a good family is supposed to look like#but it felt like every time there was an opportunity to have them do something genuinely flawed-#they would perfectly sidestep it before it even became a problem#I really enjoyed the first episode because it showed a hint of a very unique emotional issue Hazel had related to having a therapist mother#The idea that she has to be mature all the time#constantly living around therapy speak makes her feel like she isnt allowed room to breathe#Feeling unable to express her emotions without someone there giving advice that she isnt ready for yet#just small things!#She feels so pressured to be emotionally mature all the time BECAUSE she gets praised for it#maybe im projecting everyone always tell me I was so mature for my age...#But like I really really wanted to see that from her!!#And then after that episode it doesnt even come up again#The only other episode that features the moms job as a conflict is the one where she wants to spend more time with her#which is a fine conflict I guess but it still ends with her saying all the perfect things#I wanted Markus to be more of a genuine threat too. even if he didnt actually do anything having him be more looming would have been nice#I feel like they mostly forget hes a para scientist most of the time idk.#I just felt like his interactions could have been more unique#Maybe he will be in future seasons idk
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.🖤🔄🤍.
#the cat witchs guild#the misc adventures of mochi and lime#tcwg#tmaomal#limochi#art#mochi#lime#ocs#original#PALETTE SWAP PALETTE SWAP PALETTE SWAP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ive been wanting to do this for so long....the m-34th purposely makes their uniforms white to be the anti-witch black color#and they both look DAMN FINE#limes def thinking abt how she looks like a bride#it took me a while to decide if i should also swap the gold#but the gold looks too good with the uniform...#i cant stop looking at this#ignore my sad excuse for crossed legs at this angle i gave up#hehe it reminds of an idea i have in beta about the m-34th letting witches off the hook post-ending#and changing their uniforms to black#idk if thats actually what happens but it would be wholesome for lime to come home in a black uniform#and mochi gets all emotional he looks so handsome#i just realized i messed up some of his uniform details#this is what i get for not looking at references for my own characters#also what i get for rushing a piece in 2 hours instead of taking my time#cat bow hat really fucks man#edit: i fixed the things that were bothering me hehe
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Can you imagine this place in its time? Hordes of bugs travelling about the Kingdom; stag bells ringing; the station bustling with activity and life.
Now only our like even know it exists. That's a special thing I suppose, to cherish these sights, even in their decay
#art yard#fanart#hollow knight#human au#hk gijinka#art#hk ghost#hk quirrel#cute moment between them#quirrel is pat them on the head#and they dont understand what this feeling is#yep#ghost who learns about emotion is my favorite idea#did you spot small slugcat in right corner?
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two-headed calf by laura gilpin
#the magnus archives#tma#michael shelley#michael distortion#gertrude robinson#two-headed calf poem#god what a monster of a project this was to work on. ive never finished a comic before#im so happy its finally done#(/s) please direct any anonymous hatemail for this at my good friend @crestofcethleanns he pitched the idea i just visualised it <3#also tim (the real one not stoker) (i will never get tired of making this joke) ilysm thanks for being my emotional support#my art#2023#backgrounds#comics#mag 101#mag 101 another twist#sorry the quality sucks on mobile#i am by no means a comic artist im just a silly little illustrator#so i didnt know the best way to go about formatting this but liked the idea of scrolling through the drawings :)
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Countdown to October 19th (13/19)
Basically I'm Gay/Coming Out To You
#I knew I wanted to do these videos but I had no idea what I wanted to do for them#so I went with their parting words for us because I felt like they were important#and they had an impact on me#Dan's video is a video that I remember watching before school and watching again at school#and I remember friends asking me if I has seen it because they knew I watched dnp#it was a day#and fun fact I don't think I had watched Dan's video since that day until I rewatched it to make these gifs#purely because it just makes me really emotional#and it's very rare I am in the right mental state for it#anywayyyyyy.......#dan and phil#dnp#danandphil#phan#amazingphil#my gifs#dnp gifs#daniel howell#phan countdown
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I don't think this contains spoilers but if you don't want to hear any book references or season 3 speculation be warned.
Reading the interview clip where Sam Reid said that Lestat is ripped from the stage by Magnus is wild because we know he knows the books, that's not how it happens there, so he's maybe let Rolin's version slip. Which, if holds true, would be a seismic change. Instead of being torn from Nicki's arms while they sleep, Lestat would be taken during a performance, in front of an audience. Surrounded by humanity, by those he loves, but not a soul can save him. The one place that brought him joy would now be connected to the trauma of Magnus and his turning. If he truly is going to be the catalyst for the theater becoming hunting grounds in the show, for better or worse, it would seem to be related to this change as well. Also, his rockstar moment would have a desperation to it that reflects the books but is tragic in its own way. It would all become devastating in a subtly different way than how Rice wrote it. Even events that only happen in the show would have a different impact. Like Armand first approaching him telepathically while he was on stage would now seem cruel and calculated, and later choosing to put the trial on stage. Sorry about the ramble but it blows my mind how much a small change, changes so much. The murder of the opera singer...the mocking of the Dracula film...the baby on the Mardi Gras float...would all feel different.
#iwtv#interview with the vampire#amc iwtv#lestat de lioncourt#louis de pointe du lac#armand#iwtv rambles#oh my god him first telling Louis he most fears being alone while they're at the theatre#the look the gentle reach for Louis hand#I guess the stage & acting was already connected to Magnus and his turning what with the stalking it would just have a very#different emotional subtext having the abduction happen in front of a crowd vs from his bed#half-asleep even Nicki wasn't sure what had happened in the book#but now it would become a public horror and not a private one.#where in the book he hides what's happened here he would have to immediately perform “human” because everyone would've seen something#or completely embrace being a monster and so maybe the creation of the tdv becomes his idea#maybe it wouldn't change the narrative much but at the least the emotional/psychological ripple to me seems seismic#it touches everything
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How many people witnessed softie food addict horror who needed something in his mouth or he would actively kill and turn to cannibalism 🧍♀️ or was that just me.... anyways honestly it was silly.. he'd maybe get along with cook horror... I just like fanon crossovers guys*sadge
Anyways canon horror is also silly(really silly. What an asshole, man)(no seriously he's actually such an asshole.. I might love him for that but-) I don't think he would get along with the others(loser)
#me when I acknowledge as many sides of an argument as possible which just makes me confused because I am trying to take off of other people#but they're so diverse that I can't mix all of it and so I don't know how to interpret any characters anymore and what makes it worse is my#ahh not actually understanding people or relationships because I got minimum emotions maximum carelessness but I also love emotions so I#love the psychological torture of all of this but I also don't understand it so I'm depending on everyone else but yet again they're so#mixed I get confused and I don't know how to deal with any of it so I'm just here standing confused screaming in my own mind as I try to#understand how to make it all work together and then#....#Jesus fuck#sans au#utmv#undertale au#horrortale#horror sans#UwU#anyways disregard any ideas I may have ever because they will always change and I don't know what to do anymore.......#bro I'm boutta resort to Wattpad fics.... get ready for Wattpad highschool fic😼/j#I want to do that but I lost my fluidity in writing sighs...#I never graduated from Wattpad sorry guys😔#I didn't do that well drawing canon horror tbh but it'll have to do
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Torn apart. Inspired by Romeo and Juliet by Sergio Cupido
#rdr2#morston#john marston#arthur morgan#red dead redemption 2#rdr#red dead redemption#arthur/john#john/arthur#morstonmonday#morston monday#hewo! happy to be here for another monday with you guys hehe#ALSO i wanna say. someone else did a redraw of them as this painting before kjhfgk#i had no idea and only saw it after i already started the wip#JUST KNOW ITS NOT LIKE. ORIGINAL AT ALL I JUST;;; HAVE LOTS OF THOUGHTS + EMOTIONS#but yeah idk if the many disembodied dutch hands keeping them apart makes sense to anyone but me#but like something something that man's actions ultimately were what tore them apart#as well as growing up under his care/influence inevitably created the wedge in between them#as well as the perceived rivalry over whos the favorite son or whatever#and then in more fucky terms. i like to imagine he was fucking them both and preventing them from doing the same with one another :)#something something that wouldn't be right but i know better so it's different with me#or whatever#sorry to spew my dutch grooming agenda all over you guys on this good monday. it will happen again#ANYWAY#again hope this resonates with anyone other than me lol#my art
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Okay so this is almost a direct copy-paste of my earlier reblog but only the Xin Yuan parts, because its long enough to be its own post and i want to share it! It deserves it's own post <3 typical starry stuff to write a 2k word long reblog, unfortunately.
I say almost because I went through to proof read and ended up adding more stuff.
I've been cooking on this idea for the last two days since I saw the Xin Mo!Shen Yuan post but??? I can't find anything on Xin Mo's backstory or how it came to be -- which means that's free fucking plot right there baby. That's a sandbox and im making LIFE SIZED CASTLES. I'm so excited.
The idea of Shen Yuan transmigrating centuries before the events of PIDW as Xin Mo -- but when he wakes up, he's not the sword. He wakes up in the body of a young boy named Xin Yuan. Now it makes sense for this boy to be a demon, but the drama, the intrigue, the spice of Xin Yuan being a human child.
SY wakes up as a boy below the age of ten, and the System tells him where he is, and SY is excited to meet his favorite protagonist -- only to gradually realize that he's like, a thousand years or so before the events of the novel. The rant he gives the system is legendary.
Bc what's the point of getting dropped into PIDW if he's never going to meet his favorite character??? This is a scam! BUT he settles into his new life, he's like, some orphan street rat or some other tragic airplane-esq backstory.
The system gives Shen Yuan his first mandatory quest: become a righteous cultivator. Which was like, kinda his plan/hopes anyways, except! There's like?? No official cultivator sects anywhere? The Cang Qiong Mountain Sect hasn't even been established yet, and there are pockets of cultivators running around, maybe some groups or schools popping up and then sinking back down, but nothing's really taken root!
If he asks someone how to become a cultivator, there's no straight answer. No "oh you can go to X to do that". He's pissed! How can he become a cultivator if there aren't any schools around to teach him? Deus ex machina, that's how.
Out of sheer luck, SY manages to help save a rogue cultivator, and promptly gets adopted by said rogue cultivator, who gives SY the name 'Xin Yuan'. He is ecstatic. And you know what? It's actually pretty fun!
He's getting to travel the world of PIDW in its early stages, and gets to see the building blocks for the eventual main story. He's discovering all this local flora and fauna that are foreign to his old world and unmentioned in the book, and he's learning cultivation! Granted, its unsafe, newly(ish) discovered cultivation, but it counts!
Wistfully, he thinks about perhaps he'll do something grand and get his name carved into legend. Something that would eventually help the protagonist later down the line in his quest for revenge.
The system remains silent to his thoughts.
But Xin Yuan doesn't take much stock in that daydream anyways. It's nothing more than fantasy to him; wish-fulfillment. He does discover however, that he is positively brimming with spiritual energy. Overwhelmingly so.
It's both a blessing and a curse, as it puts a strain on his meridians if he's not careful, and leaves him prone to qi deviations for the exact same reasons. He already has a heart demon or two from a few traumatic experiences in the past.
(bc hey! angst a day keeps the writer sadism at bay, and all that)
I'll say he's about... eight when he gets picked up by the rogue cultivator, who I'm calling Lin Kai bc he deserves a name. They travel around PIDW up until Xin Yuan is twelve, where he goes through a traumatic experience that results in a heart demon.
It's after that that Lin Kai decides to put a stop to his wandering, and find a place to settle down to raise Xin Yuan in. Coincidentally! They settle down in a nice mountain region that's thriving with spiritual energy. The mountains at the time were called something different, but they will be eventually known as the Cang Qiong Mountain Sect
Coincidentally, the mountain Lin Kai and Xin Yuan end up on is Qing Jing Peak. XY does not realize that the mountain he's on is Qing Jing. The System does not tell him. But he likes it there, more than he was expecting. And as much as he's traveled around, he really does enjoy being in one place.
He has a tendency to go down the mountain and help the village setting up down there, and when he's a teenager he starts venturing out more and more.
Xin Yuan forgets sometimes that he's in a novel, especially after settling down on Qing Jing peak. The system becomes remarkably quiet since there's no quests for him to do and not a ton of opportunities to get B-Points. He cultivates with Lin Kai, helps tend to the garden they're growing, goes down to the village to play with the other kids.
There's one boy he's best friends with, a boy whose not all that good with words, named Liu Zhihao. He's got potential for cultivation though, so Xin Yuan drags him up the mountain when he can so that Liu Zhihao can sit in on lessons with Lin Kai. He drags him all over the forest at the foot of the mountain to go look at bugs and animals.
(One time, when they're fourteen and Liu Zhihao has been learning cultivation for a few years now, Xin Yuan drags him out of bed late one night to go look at the stars. Xin Yuan tells Liu Zhihao about ascension -- something that still feels like a far off dream to many in this time -- that night, while they're sitting on the wet grass.)
("We should ascend together." Xin Yuan tells Liu Zhihao, jade eyes gleaming. Never let it be said that Xin Yuan doesn't love deeply, no matter what kind of love it is. He was always so lonely as Shen Yuan, Liu Zhihao is his best friend. "We'll become immortals, and then we won't ascend until the other is able to.")
(Liu Zhihao stares at him silently, his face unreadable. Then, quietly, he asks; "Promise?")
("Promise.")
When he starts adventuring outwards, further away from the mountain and the village, Liu Zhihao sticks to him like rice. Not that Xin Yuan's complaining, that's his best friend after all, and Liu Zhihao has become a formidable cultivator. He deserves to show off his skills.
He starts making something of a name for himself by the time he's, like, 18 -- although that name is in its baby steps, along with Liu Zhihao. They're slowly growing renown.
Perhaps XY uses his knowledge of PIDW and cultivation in general to help make advancements in the cultivation field. Although the system prevents him from sharing too much, it doesn't mean he can't practice it himself. Perhaps he's one of the first cultivators to develop a golden core. One of the first known immortal cultivators. One of the first to have a spirit sword.
(Although I don't know the logistics of any of this since my knowledge on xanxia/cultivation stuff in general is all still pretty new and google wasn't all that helpful lol.)
Either way, its my excuse to eventually make Xin Yuan come across as ethereal to other people. Peerless beauty SY for the win. Hs wifebeam is too strong, Xin Yuan has a line of suitors following after him and he's completely unaware of it. The rest of history is not.
Demon realm stuff has been stirring up since Xin Yuan was a kid, but at the time it was rare and in the beginning stages. Its been steadily ramping up and the system is sending him on more and more treacherous quests -- some of them mandatory, some optional. SY doesn't often take the optional ones unless it comes with a sufficient B-point reward.
for all intents and purposes though, he's a wandering rogue cultivator with Liu Zhihao, going from place to place to either help a town or village, or to discover more creatures or artifacts (although there aren't that many). Just all around living his life. He participates in a few major quest lines that are sure to get him mentioned in legend, even if it's a background character way.
(Unbeknownst to him, rather than being a side character in these legends, he's named directly. You can't become one of the first immortal cultivators and NOT get name dropped for clout.)
He has a spirit sword named Shā Mó, (杀 shā - to kill/weaken/counteract/reduce) (魔 mó - evil spirit, demon, possession). He routinely goes back to QJP to see Lin Kai, or to rest when traveling has worn down on him and he wants nothing more than to sleep somewhere he knows he'll be safe in. It becomes more frequent as Xin Yuan becomes more famous. Liu Zhihao often comes with him.
it all comes to a head though when the rifts between the demonic realm and the human realm become too great, and the balance between both realms becomes unstable. A demonic emperor's influence, wanting to merge the two realms so he could conquer both to satiate his own greed.
Typical evil king stuff. This comes to a climatic head in a great battle between every cultivator available and the demon emperor's army. Xin Yuan was one of the many who helped lead the charge.
In the end, it was Xin Yuan who ends up defeating the demonic emperor, but the rift that the emperor used to cross between worlds is destabilizing as well. Except instead of trying to close, it's getting bigger and bigger, threatening to swallow the heavens and earth and demonic realm whole.
You know how Yue Qingyuan's soul is bonded to his sword due to a qi deviation? Let's take it a step further >:)
Xin Yuan uses himself and Shā Mó to close the rift. However, it takes all of his spiritual energy to do so, as well as him filtering the demonic qi into his body to redirect it back to the demon realm.
In the end, Xin Yuan and his beloved sword Shā Mó fuse. Xin Yuan's soul becomes trapped in the sword. His physical body is unable to handle the immense amount of power it takes to close the rift, and is destroyed. He is immortalized in legend by his grieving cultivators.
(Liu Zhihao ends up ascending alone. He ascends with the hope that one day he'll see Xin Yuan again, even if it's in the face of someone else. Lin Kai does not ascend, too weighed down by the grief of losing his son.)
Xin Yuan, now Xin Mo, falls into a stasis. He's very confused and disorientated when he regains 'consciousness'. The system has been silent for most of his life, only popping up to give him mandatory quests, hints, points, or to answer any questions.
But once he wakes up, it cheerfully pops up again, congratulating him on completing the origin story of Xin Mo. SY freaks the fuck out. he'd shake the system screen if he could, but he doesn't have arms. or legs. or eyes for that matter.
He can sense his surroundings, but its all like imprints to him. He can sense the energies, but he can't see anything. It's all very disorientating and horrifying after years of being human. Like a sensory deprivation chamber.
The closing of the rift and the cycling demonic qi tainted both Sha Mo and Xin Yuan irreparably, and it did some kind of damage that resulted in SY needing to feed in order to use the spiritual powers. Kinda like how Xuan Su uses YQY's life force for it's spiritual energy, but instead of feeding on his own lifeforce, Xin Mo feeds on others.
The rest is history. Xin Mo is originally tied to the story of Xin Yuan -- believed to be all that remained of the man after he sacrificed himself to keep the realms separate. It's believed that the force of the realms closing permanently infused Sha Mo with demonic energy, turning it into Xin Mo.
But, like many stories do when faced against the tide of time, things get lost; chipped off; changed. Xin Mo is steadily separated from Xin Yuan, especially once it becomes clear how parasitic the sword really is, until they are all but separate entities themselves and the origin of Xin Mo's creation all but forgotten.
The years blur together when Xin Mo is not being wielded, and at first Xin Yuan was agonized by the fact that he stole the lives of all his wielders. He knows it's only a novel, but his decades spent in this life have softened him, and he's grown attached to the world around him.
But time erodes the mind like water erodes stone, and he becomes numb to it, then eventually anticipating of it. He forces himself to remember what he knows of PIDW's plot, and kinda fixates back on his old obsession on Luo Binghe. But while PIDW stays in his mind, his memories as Xin Yuan fall to the wayside.
Not forgotten, per se, but... tucked away. The system prevents him from forgetting fully.
Xin Mo isn't fully a demonic sword either i think, but instead harbors an ugly cocktail of both spiritual and demonic qi. Special circumstances and all that. Everyone just assumes he's a fully demonic sword because that's usually at the forefront, his spiritual qi weakened from the initial fusion and from years of not being fed spiritual qi. It's part of the reason his wielders always end up destroyed by him, other than the whole, yk, 'overwhelming qi' thing.
Nobody would recognize Xin Mo's human form as Xin Yuan other than some truly ancient demons. Of which Meng Mo might. But even that's iffy because there's a lack of surviving paintings of Xin Yuan, but also because of XM's demonic appearance and supposed lack of connection to XY.
Xin Mo has never spoken to his wielders before, not in the same way he does Luo Binghe. He tells Luo Binghe this, and he also tells Luo Binghe down the line that he is both spiritual and demonic -- something he also never told his wielders because there was no point to it.
okay okay i've got to end it here because its already gotten ridiculously long -- of which im both apologetic and unapologetic for -- but i DO think the Shang Qinghua and Shen Yuan meeting (and reveal) would be fucking hilarious. Especially if SY has learned how to pop between sword form and human form by then -- although i guess it doesnt matter either way because SQH's reaction is still the same.
And that reaction is internally screaming and going "hey what the FUCK?? WHY DOES XIN MO HAVE A HUMAN FORM??? WHAT IS THIS??? SYSTEM??? EXPLAIN???"
meanwhile from his place on the sword hilt xin mo is squinting at Shang Qinghua in bewilderment and going "aren't you supposed to be dead" but doesn't pay too much mind to it because its not like its going to change anything.
...up until he catches shang qinghua going "WTF" silently from his little corner while all eyes are off him. One moment SQH is standing beside his king, and the next he's been tackled to the ground by one wild-eyed, human-shaped Xin Mo.
everyone, including SQH, thinks Xin Mo is going to kill him. It is a surprise to everyone when he does not, and instead dissolves into deranged, uncontrollable laughter after spitting out some phrase in some ancient tongue and watching SQH's eyes grow wide in recognition.
#svsss au#svsss#scum villain au#scum villain#scum villain self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#liu zhihao is indeed based off liu qingge. i am a multishipper at heart and liushen is a delicious ship. XY and LZ i think were very devote#to each other regardless of if it was romantic or platonic. they're besties! and im a sucker for devotion in all aspects. its neat :)#XM eventually tells LBH about how he used to be human once and he tells him about his Xiao Zhi. and that he hopes Xiao Zhi was able to reac#ascension in his absence. LBH silently seethes with jealousy and abandonment issues a mile wide. he asks XM if he misses him. XM gets this#unreadable distant look on his face that makes him look far more mortal than is comfortable. then he mutters 'yes.' LBH hates it#Cang Qiong sect gets miraculously spared by Luo Binghe on account of 'my demonic sword grew up here and he'd be upset if i ruined it'#does LZH look like LQG? ...i want to say yes bc itd be crime to derive SY of LQG's beauty even if he never knows what LQG looks like#imagine XM as human coming to clash with YQY. he takes one look at YQY. then at Xuan Su. before going 'we're alike. you and i.'#rip SQH. executed for the crime of *checks scroll* making XM laugh before Binghe could. making XM laugh at all actually#XM is usually very reserved and restrained but for the first time in a thousand years he's met someone just like him. the emotional rush#is intense. SQH asks him later how long he's been Xin Mo. expecting like. at LEAST a few years now or after him but then XM blinks at him#and then mutters something about how he's lost track of time. oh hey btw what year it is??? he forgot to ask. SQH tells him and Xin Mo says#'oh! about a thousand years now' 'WHAT' and XM tells him about being Xin Yuan which SQH was not expecting. whether thats because#he genuinely wasnt expecting it or it was part of his outline or an idea he messed around with and didnt expect to make it into the world#SQH tells him about the legend of Xin Yuan. XM is stunned. he asks about Liu Zhihao. LZH made it into legend too. which XM is very#pleased by. 'good. he deserves it for all the hard work he put in.'
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