#no i dont have a record player but that will not stop me

[cakeemoji]

hit the jackpot in life when i found a fever you cant sweat out vinyl & my chem's may death never stop you at the store. obviously i bought them to display them proudly in my room like the trophies i never won from track and field in 7th grade

[thegreatyin]

How did you manage to handle not one, but FOUR separate accounts in fl? I recently made the account for my HD little guy but having to do the tutorial again just seems miserable

there's... weirdly several answers to that question, actually??

a HUGE part of it is due to the way FL is structured. the 10-minute action timer is a core part of the game on a fundamental level, and the fact that i can very easily run out of stuff to do on one character and thus have an excuse to quickly and easily swap to another is just... convenient? satisfying? i'm not entirely sure how to explain it. the fact that i can make progress even while i am fundamentally simultaneously Not Making Progress is like pure dopamine for my freak insane awful little brain. there's just something really pleasing about spending all of my actions pursuing The Goal Of The Day™ on one account before casually swapping to another and doing the same without feeling like i'm wasting time or acting to the first account's explicit detriment. the downtime helps! the recharge time helps! the structure really really works!!

i'm technically only actively playing three, maybe two accounts minimum. the only reason the fourth (the one that'll be my future BaL playthrough) currently exists at all is so i can get his earlygame completely out of the way now and not have to waste time running through it all later, when what i actually want to do is play the ambition i've made myself wait a full year to play. and also getting free goodies as seasonal stuff happens,, something something surprise tools to help us later. the only two accounts i'd say i'm really "actively playing" at the moment are caeru and lark- and of the two, lark takes the most priority, since his ambition is the one i'm currently pursuing in earnest. for a couple months now- despite being My Main FL Character- the scoundrel has actually been pretty inactive on a gameplay front outside of the occasional progression in TLC and discordance content. purely by virtue of having Very little left to do outside of Very long-term grinds and vanities. they're in their "now what?" "now you can start playing the game" era. they've graduated to previous protagonist background cameo in a sequel anime series. they're like the yin FLPC equivalent of red at the top of mount silver. they're Literally just vibing rn. i only keep posting about them regardless because i'm insane and i will never ever ever ever ever let that bat go. but yeah, big TLDR, outside of doing the bare minimum to keep making waves/notability up every week, i'm not actually spending that much time on accounts i'm not currently actively interested in playing. and that accounts for way more gaming spoons than you might think.

i have a virtually lifelong history of playing MMOs, especially and specifically world of warcraft. i was born in the endless grind for useless video game pixel vanities and/or bragging rights. molded by it. you all have merely adapted to doing the same piece of content a pointlessly excessive amount of times for literally no reason besides whimsy and folly. me? i've done my time. i've served my sentence. i've spent weeks doing the original burning crusade netherwing dailies. i've devoted days to running praetorium over and over and over again, back-to-back, nonstop, long before square enix cut it in half and made it NOT take at minimum an hour and a half per run. i've perfected my silverwastes + auric basin goldfarming strategies. i've (almost) crafted dragonwrath tarecgosa's rest. i've killed the sha of anger so many times its dying scream of agony is embedded into the very fabric of my being. ""only"" doing making your name content four times over? that is nothing to me. it means nothing to me. it is so infinitesimal i can do the persuasive seduction quests in my sleep. it's not a matter of handling misery, or having the capacity, or even sighing as i remember the brass embassy raid segment of the watchful questline seriously i don't know why i keep forgetting that exists or what even is my problem with it i just am so consistently mildly inconvenienced by it and its highly specific resource requirements and it is the worst thing ever. maybe i'm just so used to the scoundrel's near-infinite money and troves of disposable items that i've completely forgotten what being poor is like. despite having done that step 3 fucking times now. ahem. anyway. i have transcended the feeble mortal bindings of my resistant-to-grinding flesh and ascended to a higher plane of enlightenment, they may call me insane but they will be the ones left laughing when they see what that "insanity" has wrought, i've usurped them, i've usurped them all-

hacks and coughs and awkwardly clears my throat. i mean. uh. um. Ahem.

the empress' court artistry + tales of the university nerfs helped too.

[violntfemme]

you guys dont get it i am frothing at the mouth as i try and stop myself from buying this

[voidimp]

maybe now that i have adhd meds i can attempt Language again

[girlivealwaysbean]

.

vent

[the-quaint-quail]

get stuffed!

jade leech x reader

jade fafo when he messes with the wrong shark.

i can imagine reader purposefully cuddling with a large stuffed animal because jade is being a bastard asshole refusing to snuggle you in favor of space.

fine. cool.

you understood, you get it you do.

jade’s just like that sometimes…

so he should be fine with sharing a bed with sharkie right!

jade’s eyebrows furrow and head tilts to the said, parroting what you said as you excitedly jump off the bed. matching pj set, courteous of jade, rubbed against itself as you made your way off the bed and yo your bookbag.

floyd’s curious now as he rolls on his side and haphazardly drops his home onto his bed.

you find what you’re looking for after removing a few belongings…. and y/n, he’s gonna be honest, how the fuck did you fit that in there??

the shark is a fat, fluffy navy shark the size your upper upper body.

floyd rolls back in hysterics, looking at you then his frozen twin as you skip your way over. falling onto the bed with a giggle, you land and bounce on the shark until it rolls you onto your side.

you squeeeeeze what would be considered the shark’s neck as you feel pairs of eyes watching you intently. you squeeze in intervals, breath and body relaxing with each tensing of your muscles.

it’s only when jade sees your body limp a few seconds later does he realize you���re asleep.

“ha! looks like your future mrs. would rather squeeze a shark to sleep than you” floyd teases, screaming when jade launches a pillow mock 5 at him in retaliation. 

jade looks back at you ignoring his twins whining and the pillow that smashes into his head.

he stares like this for a good ten minutes, unmoving despite floyd publicly stating for the record he’s creeping even him out. jade ignored this as his wrist and elbow cracks with disuse. hos hand slowly reaches for the shark with concentrated look.

once he had the shark’s nose in his grip it expertly yanks it out of your tight embrace and switches it with himself.

“threes a crowd, dont you think” he looks over your sleeping head, tucking it into his chest as he heard a soft thud in the other side of the room. floyd’s complains but eventually pack his things and calls azul, most likely going to another guest room so jade could have more… privacy, with his courting partner.

he untangles himself from you momentarily and rushes to the plushie. with the skill of a soccer player he manages to wedge it between the door that floyd was in the middle of closing. sharkie can only stare in horror as jade’s face was covered from the darkness of night.

he was sprinting towards the sharkie before punting it out the door and down the hallway. the stuffed animals thumps against the wall like a ping pong ball. he stares into its beady eyes the moment it stops ricocheting off the lilac walls and comes to a sad roll.

he closes the door with a victorious smile.

“jade leech.”

his eyes widen and shoulders hunch as he spins to see you sitting up in bed, arms crossed. he couldn’t see your face as the water’s netty light didn’t reach that far up and instead illuminated the carpet.

“where’s sharkie.”

“ in a better place” he says earntsly eith a hand across his heart.

“you better bring him back or i’ll withhold sex from you for a month. a month. “

his smile falters… so no kitty time? 😞

“she’ll miss me” jade whips a tear as you throw a pillow at him.

“2 months and i won’t help you during your season!” you hissed, flopping back into bed with your arms crossed. jade pictures steam blowing out in steady streams from your ears and nose.

“it was good while it lasted.” he sighs, fighting a smile at the annoyed whined at his name.

“i won’t cuddle you then.” you’re pouting now. upping the punishment has jade’s smiling slightly faltering… he could live with that as you’ll get tired chastity eventually.

jade climbs back into bed ready to snuggle when you jerk away, feet kicking at the covers as you shoot up from bed.

dropping to under the bed jade pens over as he watches you stretch and feel around. he’s able to catch a glimpse of your distressed look as you scurry around the room in search of your shark plushie.

after snooping around, you’re facing the door angrily when he you break the pregnant silence. “jade, if he’s in the hallway im not giving you kisses for 2 whole months”

jade’s body moves instinctively as he shoots up in bed. eyes blinking owlishly as you open the door.

wait, were you actually mad at him? for booting out the competition??

you peek around the hallway bobbing your head to try seeing through the flashbomb of light. after a few minutes you close the door sadly, your head thumps against the wood as you let out a shuddery breath.

jade stand immeditaly andslams open the door.

the shark is gone.

he butes bacl his toothy grin. you’re his again. all his.

…so why were you crying, “it’s a stuffed animal, you have me to cuddle and dote on instead. not some inanimate object incapable of reciprocating affectionate. lets go to bed and look for it in the morning.” jade steady hand finds your shoulder, attempting to guide you back to bed when you flinch out of his touch.

body contorting like you’d just been touched by a a cough. you bend down towards the door to your bad, gather your things and jacket as its colder outside this time of year and sniffle out “im gonna go back to ramshackle… back to grim tonight” you dont look at him when you slip through the door.

…”is my relationship dependent on a stuffed shark?”

yes jade. yes it is.

you ignore jade for an entire week after sharkie goes missiong. floyd sends his deepest condeolences and gives you a free meal at the lounge to ‘soothe your heartache,’ you ignore jade the best you can throughout your meal.

but jade is a D1 problem starter and annoys people for a living.

he pomes you once when you drop your fork and knife, pick up the plate and walk out the lounge. azul is furious that you stole a plate, running after you like he was on the Jerry Springer show.

he comes back after an hour and redirects his anger to jade. “look, what you do in your relationship isn’t any of my business- just give her the blasted shark back”

jade’s had enough of this childishness as it’s starting to bleed into his work life, his social life was drastically altered now that you saw him as the plague- and jade was sick of it.

he’s about to barge into ramshackle when he hears your cried through the rotting oak door. he peaks through the tiny door window to see a mountain of blankets and pillows.

a frown is on his face when he sees you, sobbing your eyes out into a blanket.

“he- he’s so mean” you hiccup “ he won’y cuddle me to sleep so i i brought sharkie right, but then he killed him and destroyed his body” your haggard breathing has you falling back into a pillow as you nuzzle it.

a whine leaves yiu as you throw it across the living room.

“sh sharkie was the only thing i brought with me from home and and he’s gone- im gonna break up with him if he doesn’t find him at the end of the week!”

jade’s blood freezes when he hears voices of approval and comfort. telling you that ‘they didn’t like jade anyways’ and ‘you could do so much better’

.. they’re not wrong… but, he had thought your friends finally came around to your relationship, it appears that was just wishful thinking.

jade himself doesn’t really know why you said yes to him. pausing the moment you said yes to a date to ask if you were sure. that you didn’t mind his cruel reputation and eccentric habits. you embraced them, yet he couldn’t embrace yours…

you had given him space when requested, and sought out an alternative source of affection and comfort because jade withheld it from you. he didn’’t expect you to pull out a damned shark, thinking you’d whine and crawl on him like usual until he’d give in with a sigh and secret smile.

letting you know he’s allowing you to cling like a barnacle to him.. the shark just accepted and soaked up your love like a sponge.

jade turns his heel with a sigh, he needs to fix this. immediately.

it isn’y until three days later, on friday do you text him with a ‘we need to talk.’ it was the only text sent by you in the entire week, jade being moved to ‘silenced’ as another string of barbs around his body.

but not to worry, he called in a favor.

there’s three confident knocks on ramshackle dorm. fanning your heated face you prepare yourself for the breakup.

you open the door-

“hi y/n! i missed you so much!”

you gasp “sharkie!”

you thrust yourself at the slightly discolored shark and trap him in a tight squeezing embrace as you take a long, deep inhale. the scent of laundry detergent and lingering dirt fills your nose as jade watches you visibly relax.

“don’t forget about me” jade’s hiding his face again as he talks in a silly voice. you look up at him ready to chew him out when you close your mouth. in his hand is a long, thick stuffed eel. its eyes closed with a smile itched with black thread. its teal green body had speckles of lighter blues running along it as you excitedly gasp.

jade wraps it around your neck and lands its smiling head on top of yours. your smile falters at his serious face.

“…i didn’t know how much the shark meant to you.. i apologize for the distress i’ve caused you as it wasn’t my intent”

you nod, listening to his apology.

“ i had no idea it was from your home…” your eyes widen, you never told jade that but just chalk up the sudden information leak as jade being jade. you side step him and motion for him to come inside.

he declines, “i have a shift at monstro in 10 minutes so i must be on my way.” he’s about to bend down for a kiss when he stops himself with a hand politely covering his mouth.

“dear me, almost forgot i have another 7 weeks to go with no kisses” he deflates “ill be on my way then”

just as expected you grab for his collar and yank him to your height. smashing your lips onto his jade hands reflexively goes to your cheeks, smushing them slightly as he deepens the kiss.

“next time” jade pulls away, wiping your lip of salvia, then swiping his on lip his the covered thumb. “don’t bring ‘sharkie,’ as eels are very territorial of their mates.”

[firefly--bright]

omg meeting jean’s family and spending christmas/new years w them ??

YES i went with spending christmas eve with them!! this might be a bit too specific but its something ive been thinking about for a while :D thank you for the ask!! :33 taglist ; @holding-infinity-and-a-book , @mrsnobodynobody , @hopeless-anti-romantic-again , @jeanscremebrulee , @berrijam , @happxme , @cherrypieyourface , @imgayandshesanime , @moonmalice , @kivernova , @potaho3frog , @xakilicious , @katestrophes , @gojo-ana , @ppushable, @candleohappiness , @zombiefiedskeivy , @1ovede1uxe ❅ masterlist is in pinned post ❅ enter my taglist ❅ requests for headcanons are open! ❅

❅ backstory on his family a bit first! okay so in my head it. it was was him and his mom at first. his dad wasnt in his life all that much and would only show up randomly. right. caused issues in his psyche. more about this in upcoming dusk to dawn chapters (PLEASE BE PATIENT W ME GUYS)

❅ and so when he was like. 13 or something. already hormonal teenager, his mom married this guy who already had two daughters, one of whom was older than him and one was younger.

❅ anyway. it took him a while to be okay with all of that, because he got really protective over his mom at one point and threatened his now stepdad with the whole "if u hurt my mom i will hunt u down and make u wish u never lived" mind u hes like 14

❅ ANYWAY so in my head he has an older sister who older to him by like 5 years and younger one is like 3 years younger than him. they didnt get along at first, obviously, being kids and allat. none of them were okay with this but with coaxing from their parents they found out that they werent terribly company, actually. again more on this in dusk to dawn upcoming chapters i swear

❅ ok so back to the request!! christmas in the kirstein household is beautiful ok. their house isnt super duper big but is well off enough, and jean's parents always go full out for it. lights and beautiful decorations, one of the prettiest houses on the block. youre obviously super nervous even if you had talked to his mom a couple times on the phone when she forced jean to give it to you. his sisters knew about you on social media and whatnot but thats way different than meeting in real life

❅ and jean tells you that his mom already loves you so you have nothing to worry about. "but what about your sisters and dad?" "my dad trusts my mom and will literally do anything she says so he will love you. my sisters will love you because youre you, stop worrying so much." he says even though everytime he has to talk to your family hes also scared shitless.

❅ you see their house and your jaw drops to the floor. he mumbles something about how they outdid themselves and how he's pretty sure theyre the ones trying to impress you. you only half listen to him tho

❅ anyway!! his mom opens the door and immediately hugs you. WARMEST HUG EVER BTW. cold outside be damned and she hugs you for a good two minutes before pulling away and then scolds jean for not wearing a beanie. "so i just dont get a hug?" and thats when she hugs him.

❅ the inside of their house is just as decked out as the outside. their christmas tree almost takes up the whole room. imagine those cozy romcom houses on christmas :') his dad is chilling by the record player (that jean has told you about) and gives jean the. guy hug like the two pats on the shoulder one. welcomes you in, shows you to you room, tells you to treat it as your home because it is your home. theyre all such warm people honestly

❅ his little sister isnt there to greet the two of you until after youve almost settled into jean's old room. its just big enough for the two of you and youre going through his old posters and things on the walls while jean tells you that "that was just a phase, honestly, haha, im not even that person anymore.." as if u dont kow everything about him already. and then his little sister walks in with some hot cocoa in her hand and looks at the two of you for a couple seconds and then says "how did this ugly ass bag you."

❅ anyway. turns out his older sister is going to be there by evening time so you help out in the kitchen, and jeans mom shoos him out of there coming up with some excuse of how his dad needs him or something. and then she tells you about all the times he wet his bed as a kid. this woman is dead set on embarassing her son tbh. i love her

❅ youre bonding over having a shared love for baking and shes giving you tips when his little sister walks in again. "did she tell u about how many times he used to wet the bed?"

❅ you find out shes studyinng to be a lawyer, in her first year of uni rn so shes super busy. his mom says shes very smart and shes just bashful and says "im not that good," waving a hand infront her face and you cant help but note that jean does the same fucking thing when someone gives him a genuine compliment. except that he usually follows with "i mean- unless youre into that." or something that ruins the soft moment.

❅ anyway. you meet his older sister soon, and she's almost identical to mama kirstein, mannerisms wise. the same laugh, her voice just a little bit deeper, the same sense of style, almmost everything. she embraces you in her warmth as soon as she steps in, tells you how excited she has been to meet you and that jean cannot stop telling her about you. she asks about your career and you find out shes also like jean with her passion and drive in her own career, and you get into an indepth discussion about it over a glass of wine until its time for dinner

❅ dinner is fucking beautiful. mama kirstein only let you help with the smallest things because you insisted, and she paid attention to any and all dietary restrictions you might have. sibling fights w jean and his sisters and you figure out why he hates his hair being touched (because his sisters always mess it up. thats literally all its not even that deep) jean and his dad eventually have a discussion about wines and stuff and its so obvious. right. they comb their hand through their hair in the same direction in the same way and youre like OH THAT MAKES SENSE.

❅ at one point you fix jean's collar and his sister is like "man u cant even do one thing right" to him, and his mom brings up marraige at the same time and jean chokes on his food. its not why she asked it that shocked him its just how she asked it. its so casual - "youre such a child, jean," his younger sister says, and his dad is talking over them, "alright, just because his collar is a little dishevled," and jeans glaring at his sister as you fix it and theyre all kinda talking over eachother right and you fix it and its like a little soft moment and he mumbles a "thank you" and his eyes are like shining and his hand is on your thigh and you roll your eyes in fake annoyance. and his mom is just, "so marraige."

❅ LMFAO moving on. theres dessert. you help with the clean up and jeans sister tells you that when they were small they used to make pancakes for their parents and jean got flour everywhere and she was always the one who cleaned it up. jean would worry about the presentation more than the taste and their younger sister would make the coffee, accidentally putting in too much sugar which went unnoticed until papa kirstein had to gulp down a wince at how sweet it was. speaking of, jean and him were in the living room and you could hear his voice clear as day complaining about how he just doesnt have enough vinyls and his dad telling him exact coordinates of where he'd find them <3

❅ and theyre all SO SWEET UGH like you can clearly see eahcother's influence in them. of course this cant be complete without mama kirstein showing you his old baby pics. hes so red in the face when his mom points out how chubby his cheeks were and his older sister pinches his cheek and he swats her hand away which turns into a small cat fight. dont talk about it. his dad puts some music on and claps his hands, "monopoly, anyone?" which then turns into a whole game night :')

❅ complete the night with a movie where you and jean fall asleep on eachother halfway through the movie, and his younger sister takes like 2000 pictures of the two of you with different filters on. as blackmail.

❅ bonus you wake up to pictures sent by an unknown number with different pictures of jean throughout his embarassing teenage years and his (gasp) emo bad boy phase in highschool... cringe...

god i love this man. i want him and his family so bad. anyway! thank you for the ask!! and for your patience :333

sorry for not making a moodboard, I couldn't find enough pictures with the vibe I wanted to go for (⁠･ั⁠ω⁠･ั⁠)

[lilmissasap]

agape- nicholas britell

summary: miles is takin down ur braids 

published: july 27, 2023

warnings: Grammarly hates me, the patriarchy, a dash of toxic masculinity, miles being a product of that grrah grah boom type masculinity, aave (no im not translating shit for you yall got access to urban dictionary and its not really a warning), i edited it myself so lmk if there are any mistakes

sueñito- little dream, bonito- handsome/ pretty boy, no me importa- i don't care/ it's not important to me

w/c: 1.5 k

reader's black coded cus im black so deal w it <3

i think this something every black boy be needin deep down

“Stop movin, ma” 

“It’s knotty,” 

“You had these in for how long?” 

Silence. 

“There's your answer right there, mama,”  

“Sorry,” 

“Nun to be sorry for, just hold still,” 

Currently sitting on the bathroom floor criss-cross apple sauce, Miles was sitting on the toilet, your head between his knees, while he was taking down the frizzy lemonade braids that barely hugged your scalp anymore. 

“Miles?” 

He hums in response, rat tail comb in one hand, a tub of coconut oil in the other, threading the tail of the comb through the extensions down your back  

“You’re the prettiest boy in all of Brooklyn,” 

“Shut up” 

“Prettiest boy I’ve ever seen,” 

“Nuh-uh,” 

“Fuck you mean ‘nuh uh’? The little freckles all over your cheeks? Cutest things I’ve ever seen, especially how they’re all slightly different shades, like lil polka dots all over your face, gives me a map a’ where to kiss. The little tiny dimple on the left side of your face? Adorable, 10/10, no notes. Also very kissable." He's still now, staring at the back of your head, using bundles strewn over his shoulder, mouth agape. “Them thick and long ass eyelashes? I could stare at ‘em all day, they look like teeny tiny butterfly wings when you rest your eyes.” 

“Shut up,” he whispers, still unmoving, the little dab of coconut oil on his fingers slowly dribbling down his wrist 

“Your mind pretty as hell, too, I like listening to what you have to hear when you let me,” you mumble, pressing tiny kisses into his cargo pant–clad kneecap. 

“Stop doin that shit, ma” 

“What?” 

“Talkin all crazy like that,” 

“I’m not talkin crazy, miles I’m being honest,” 

“You makin me out to be some weak ass lil boy,” 

“Miles.” you turn around abruptly, staring at him dead in the eye. “I’m jus being honest wit you. What's going on?” 

“It’s nothin, ma, turn around”  

“Sueñito. Lemme know what's up,” 

“It’s nothin,” 

You huff, turning around to face the bottom of the sink again. Silence bellows throughout the bathroom, Miles rubbing oil on your braids to detangle them to later drag the comb in once again and throw the discarded hair extension over his shoulder. The only sound between the two of you is the Marvin Gaye spinning on the record player, rooms away, dull basslines thrumming through the apartment. 

“Ion like this,” 

“What?” 

“Whatever jus happened, we talk about what's bothering us,” 

“Ain't nothin botherin me, ma,” 

“Then why you start buggin' the second I get to complimenting you?” 

“Cus ian wit all that girly shit,” 

“Fuck you mean girly shit, I’m jus tryna love up on you Miles,” your nostrils flare as you stare ahead of you.  

“Baby, I’m all for that but–” 

“Miles, did someone tell you boys can't get that?” 

A silence. 

“Baby.” 

“What?” 

“Jus cus you a boy dont mean you don't deserve love,” 

“Aint nobody say allat–” 

“Shut up Ian done,” you say, swiftly turning around and snagging the oil and comb from his hand “jus cus you a boy doesn't mean you don't deserve to feel shit miles. Ion know what it was like wit your last girl, but Ian her. Okay? You allowed to be a person wimme, you know that right?” 

“Ma–” 

“Shut up I still ain't done yet. Miles I’m real, I’m right here. real like you, I promise you I’m not goin nowhere right now,” 

“You done?” 

“Yeah,”  

“C’mere,” he motions to his lap, taking the comb and oil out of your hands and setting them on the tiled floor, laying out the discarded bundles.  

“ ‘s oil all up on my hands” 

“No me importa ma, come up on here,”  

Obeying and wiping the excess coconut oil off your hand, you do. Straddling his lap, and looking into his eyes, examining the twinge of sadness in his eyes. 

“Talk to me, mama,” 

“I want you to know that you deserve love and that you’re allowed to feel some typa way. I want you to talk to me, Miles. I care about you so much and I wanna make sure you’re good. I love hearing you talk, but Ion like havin to beg you to talk to me. I love jus bein in your presence, but I hate feelin like that Miles. I don’t know who told you whatever's going through your head right now but they dead wrong. I wanna know how you be feelin, I wanna know.” 

“Why you even talk like this to me?” 

“Cus I’m your girl, n I like to kiss up on you and love all up on you,” 

At this, he averts his eyes, trying to escape your gaze, his breath audibly speeding up. 

“Mm mm, don't do that Miles. Please breathe,” 

You plead, subconsciously pressing your middle three fingers under his jaw trying to measure his heart rate. Almost as a reflex to hide from you, he shrugs your hand away from under his jaw and pulls his hoodie over his mouth.

“Nah nah, don't hide from me neither,”  

“Ain’t nobody hidin from you,” 

“Jus cus you a boy don’t mean you don't deserve them random ass cuddles, or someone to tie up your durag or wash your hair. It don’t mean you shouldn't get flowers or hugs or them lil hickies behind your ear. Don't mean you not allowed to be sad or mad or wanna cry. Now Ion know who told you or made you feel that way but they dead wrong Miles. You allowed to feel with me,” 

“Ian some lil boy runnin around though, that shit ain't for me,” 

“If you wasn't supposed to feel and acknowledge your feelings, why would you be able to feel them? They there for a reason,” 

Still straddled on his lap, he looks up at you with the tiny leverage you have on him. His eyes are big and doe-like, almost as if he’s scared to make this next step, say this next sentence.” 

“Ion know why,” he mumbles, voice soft and scared. suddenly he’s kissin up on you, gripping anything he can get his hands on, like he’s making up for lost time, lost feelings. It's urgent and a little rough, though his lips are soft and velvety, a twinge of menthol chapstick on them.  

“Yo yo yo, slow down. Ian goin nowhere” you whisper into his mouth, nails gently raking across his neck “ ‘m right here Miles, see?” you ask, guiding his hands to feel on the left side of your chest, right above your heart. “ ‘s my heart under there, I'm right here okay? I’m real, Miles I swear,” 

“You’re real?” he whispers, breath shaky and uneven fisting the thin fabric of your camisole under the evergreen zip-up, in an attempt to feel more of your heart. 

“You allowed to feel your feelings the same way you feel my heart,” 

He still looks astonished, scared, and frozen. suddenly it wasn’t him you were talking to anymore. it was the scared little Brooklyn boy who had all these feelings stored away inside him, unsure of what to do or who to show them to.  

“ ‘m sitting right here miles. I’m your girl, okay? This is real, and you are real,” 

“I’m real?” tears begin to swim in his eyes. 

“You’re real miles. and those feelings in that big heart of yours? Those are real too. And if you let me, I wanna hear all of 'em.”  

His body stills once more against you, a small tear gliding down his cheek. 

“I love you,” 

And then he’s sobbing. 

“Sshh, hey it's okay” you whisper, holding him close to your chest. “I love you so much I can’t hardly breathe when I'm around you. It’s okay and you're okay, Miles. I’m real and this is real and you. You are real.” you mumble into his braids, holding him with the protectiveness of a mother with a small child. 

He just sat there, his head buried in your chest as he cried quietly, letting everything out. You just sat and let him cry and vent through his tears. All the things he had bottled up, discouraged to show to anyone. Sooner or later the tears slow to a stop, his face puffy and hot. 

Gently tugging the ends of his braids, he looks up at you. 

“You feel better sueñito?” you ask, dragging the cuff of your sweater to dry his face and pressing butterfly kisses to his cheeks in its wake. He did nothing but nod lazily, seemingly lighter, and nuzzling his face into your chest. 

“Lemme finish wiping up your face n then you can be all up on me, bonito, okay? 

He just nodded, dropping his head back to rest against the bathroom wall, the half-taken-out braids on your scalp no longer th task at hand. Reaching behind him you grab a baby wipe and swipe the tears and snot off his face, leaving his skin with a glossy finish. Holding his chin up, you look dead in his eyes. 

“You so beautiful Miles.” 

And this time, he nods. 

🩷 reblogs are always appreciated for reach <3

[crybyemissamericanpie]

Pops would fucking hate you - Felix Catton x Masc!Reader

Pops would fucking hate you - Felix Catton x Masc!Reader

i had to rewrite this like 2 times,and i still dont like it but it is what it is

TW:Small fluff,Part-Nudity,Homophobia,Sexual theme meantions, cursing, smoking, meantion of alcohol,daddy issues(lol),overthinking

"My pops would fucking hate you"You humble out with a small smile,head layed on the cold wall,as you stare at the ceiling,feet slowly swinging in the air,sometimes hitting the bedframe, some old song playing in the background

"Oh really?Sounds a bit homophobic innit'?"Your boyfriend humbles back a small chuckle leaving his lips,as he tunes the tabs on his guitar which was in his lap

"that's probably the case"You sigh out,fidgeting with the half-smoked cig between your fingers

Your dad was never really the human rights guy,i mean he was a white middle aged cis straight man,he had no reason to be protesting and support as it doesn't affect him nor his family,or at least thats what he always said until,when you were 10 you and your guy best friend at the time were giggling about how would it feel like to be kissed,so you both find out with each other,it was just a small peck

And that would be just that but as your usual english walls,they were really fucking thin and your father in the other room could hear everything.he never told anyone or mention it to you,it was just the way he looked at you after you came in his room for a charger

The room falls silence for a moment,the guys voice on the record player starts again after instruments,not an awkward silence nor a comforting one.You put the cig between your lips and took a hit,feeling it go to your core,as you get goosebumps from the open window that none of you would bother closing,then you blew the smoke,out and watch it disappear into thin air

Felix stringing a few notes was the one who took you out of your own thoughts.”it doesnt matter,we fucking hate him either way”The boy snarks out,a small comforting smile on his face.This wasnt the first time you talked to Felix about your dad,you both went through the trauma dumping on the second date.You didnt know how to feel about your dad,i mean he was your father at the end of the day,and youve had mostly forgotten about him since you came to uni,but sometimes he would just appear in your mind.

“good point”You look at felix,his tender smile,make every girl and boy melt.It was definitely an experience dating the heartthrob of Oxford.He was new to long term relationships so of course sometimes you'd argue about some stupid girl flirting with him at the local pub and he didn't try to stop her or anything,maybe he was a bit right,maybe you could be a bit jealous,but he doesn't need to know that you kinda agree with him on that

“I think my parents wouldn't believe me if i told them that im dating you”said felix,stroking a few strings on his guitar,like he was about to sing a love song.”i mean like..not even me dating but like dating someone amazing like you”He says as he doesnt break his eye contact with the strings of the guitar,his smile could even be heard from his voice

“yeah sure”You chuckle a bit at his statement,not convinced at all.You take another blunt from the cig.”its true,they probably think that im having sex with girls right now”He says,as he sits up more,looking at you blowing the smoke out of the cig.”i mean..you were in the start of the term”You tease,with a small smirk,as you smear the cig on the glass cig dispenser,next to you on the small table

Felix scoffs,sassily”well that was at the start of the term,before i met you!”he says,both of his eyebrows perked up as he leaned a beat closer,then let himself fall back on the pillows which were leaned on the frame of the bed.

A smirk on your face as you see your boyfriend get a bit worked up”i cant argue with that”You choose to not tease him this time with it”I think my dad knows that im fucking a boy”You wonder,you knew that your dad.Felix hm’d in response,his attention on the guitar again

Silence fills between the two of you only the rain hitting the grass and the vinyls instruments filling up your ears,,as you look at the window,where the now very cold breeze was coming you see that it's raining,water coming on the edge of the window.felix's eyes follow your gaze and he puts the guitar next to you on the bed and gets up and closes the window,his shirt getting rain on it

You overthink a bit of what if he is now upset that you said that your fucking a boy,not actually dating one,Felix was sensitive despite his personality that he puts out,before you wanted to apologize he was taking his shirt off,his muscles beautiful,then he pulls his pants and boxer off in one go,grabbing a new pair of boxer which you guessed was his pajamas.its not like it was the first time you have seen him naked of course,but you cant help but admire everytime.

As Felix straightens up and you start”i'm sorry”You whisper out,hoping you wouldn't have to repeat it,felix looks puzzled”for what?”He asks his voice soft as he walks back to the bed putting the guitar next to his nightstand,sitting down next to you also laying his back against the cold wall

“for saying that i only have sex with you”You mumble out, staring at your socks,as you rest your chin against your knees,he was much more than that to you,much more that you couldn't even put it to words.you wanted to prove it and continue your words but when you would start Felix,puts his hand on your back,with a comforting smile”i know you didn't mean it that way”He says,his eyes glimmering at you,like you were a the last drop of water on planet earth and he have been thirsting for over 1 month

You can't help but smile at his words,making you feel better that you didn't offend him,he never liked when you over thinked.You straighten your legs,then hug him,burying your face in his bare chest,he wrapped his arms around your body,kissing the hair on your head,with a smile,you can feel his fingers drawing shapes on your clothed back.You look up at him,faces close that you could still feel the cheap beer of his lips

“i love you so much”He whispers,it was easy for him to say that,like it was the most simple words in the words,with no meaning behind them.”i want to have you for the rest of my life,have a family and move into a small farm house”He says,his brown eyes tickling,as he stares into yours,you can't help but chuckle as a big smile washes on your face”i know it's..like really early but i know,i feel it”Felix said.he had big plans,and you were one of them.

“i know…i hope too”You say,voice shooting as you give a small peck to his lips,then his lips falls onto yours for a longer kiss,and you don't hesitate to kiss back,lips pressed together as you were 2 pieces of a puzzle.

[myuiis]

incorrect lookism 2

we back on our bullshit with this one

1:

sally: i just watched eli drop a remote on his foot and the only thing he said was "im tired of being alive"

2:

jake: hewwo! i will be youw suwgeon today! intewnal bweeding you say? let's make our fiwst wittle incision

sinu: dowcto, we'wre loswing him!!!! 🥺

jerry: quick! hand me the defwibwiwatow

samuel: please. just cut off my fucking life support

3:

johan: met a dumbass today, awful

zack: you looked in a mirror?

johan: one day you will have to answer for your sins and god may not be so merciful

4:

zack: Go big or go home!

mira: Please, for once in your life just go home. I'm begging you. Go. Home.

zack: I'm going big!

5:

sally: are you drinking enough water?

eli: sometimes tears fall in my mouth

6:

samuel: Something’s off.

jake : Maybe you’ve finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people.

samuel: No, but that’s funny.

7:

goo, to kouji: Look at you! All cute and small! I could just eat you up!

kouji: proceeds to kick him in the shin and run away

crystal, walking past: Rule number 1, don't call kouji cute or small.

8:

daniel, about jay: Time sensitive question how flirt boy.

vasco: Throw rocks at he.

zack: Hot Dogs.

eli: Kill him.

daniel: Thanks guys.

9:

jake: "It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield."

samuel: Opposite over hypotenuse.

samuel: Dipshit.

10:

warren, to eli: you can't make everyone like you! you're not sally

sally: w-wait, but not everyone likes me!

warren: who doesn't like you?

sally: w-what

eli: names.

sally: w-

warren: give us their names.

11:

jerry: jake told me to stop worrying and just go get it boy so i'm gonna' go get it boy

jason: go get what?

jerry: i dont know, so i'll just get everything to be safe

12:

goo: we need code names

goo: I’m thinking you all can be sexy beast, marshmallow, record player, beer, and bitch

gun: who’s bitch

goo: who do you think bitch

13:

kouji: send me a pic of you doing the peace sign

crystal: why

kouji: i used you to catfish a sugar daddy

14:

daniel: ok, i get it, you're really stressed out, seven people died-

zack: twelve, actually

daniel: that's not my point. look, theyre dead and whose fault is that?

hudson: yours!

daniel: that's right, nobody's

15:

zack: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?

daniel: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.

zack: Three of us saw it, daniel. How do you explain that?

daniel: points at jake Sleep deprivation. points at johan Paranoia. points at samuel Delusional personality disorder.

[blackbeautifulqueen]

You dont love me anymore

Oswald Cobb x Black!reader

Y/n thinks Oswald is cheating on her.

You and Oz had been married for about a year at this point everything was good. Then when Vic came everything was better that is until Sofia came back. Sofia was gorgeous you couldn't deny that. Way prettier than yourself you believed. And when you say how close Oz and Sofia had gotten it made you sick to your stomach. He would never talk about business when he was home it was a rule you created. You didn't want to know how many people he had killed you never liked knowing those things. But that same rule had you hurt in the long run. You wanted to know what they were doing and any time you’d ask about Sofia hed say “there aint nobody else in the world I want but you��� or “your all I need baby you know that” or even “its just business” but something was off. 

You had waited for Oz to come home and it was around 12 when you decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes go by of just laying there and you were so close to sleep but you heard the door open and soon after felt the bed dip. You took in his smell It wasnt any perfume you owned or any he owned. It killed you. 

The next moring you saw oz getting ready and wanted to do something nice so if he was cheating youd hope hed fell bad and this would pull him back to earth a bit, so you made him breakfast.

“I made you breakfast ozzie” I say with a smile he walked into the kitchen and kissed me then just held me for a moment.

“Thank you sweetheart” he said and took a piece of bacon popping it into his mouth.

“Hm this is good baby”

“You think so?” I said with a smile

“I know so” He said grabbing my hips

“Whats the plan today huh?” I ask

“Im going with Sofia-” I and with that name my face fell and I bit my lip. All noise was drowned out. Thank god he was behind me. 

“Hey sweetheart you good?” he asked I shook my head, yes bitting my lip. I didn't want to come off as the jealous wife so I just stayed silent as he continued with what he was gonna do today. Then he looked at his watch and said

“Oh, shit I've gotta go baby. I love you”

“Ok have fun. I love you too” I said as we kissed and I watched as he walked out the door.

I walked to the living room and went to the record player. All these albums that Oz had brought for me all cuz I said I like this song or this album. I pulled out beyonces lemadae album and started to blast it full volume.

And keep your money, I got my own

Keep a bigger smile on my face being alone

Bad motherfucker, God complex

Motivate your ass, call me Malcolm X

You operator, or innovator

Fuck you, hater, you can't recreate her, no, no

You'll never recreate her, no (hell no)

I started to sing. After my “concert” I went to get a bottle of wine. Withing 30 minuted a full bottle was gone and I got another. The pain of Oz wanting another women was to much for me. So instead I drowned my feelings. Almost as if it was a movie we find love starts playing and Oz walks though the door.

“You dont love me anymore

Lets see how you like this song”

“Baby?” Oz questioned and I stayed silent tears threatening to fall. 

“What the hell?” he asked

“What are you doing?” and I just looked at his through my tears and sang with the song

“You don't love me anymore” And stood up and walked to him. Pushed him back and sang

“Let's see how you like this song” cocking his head to the side

“What?” he asked

“You” I emphasise by pointing at him

“Don't love me” I say pointing at myself then laughing to keep myself from crying.

“Sweetheart, what the hell are you talking about?”

“Do I need to repeat?” I said in a conceding tone

“y/n” 

“Dont even start that “there's no other women for me” shit I fucking know what the fuck you do”

I say as he stares in shock

“Baby”

“Don't baby me why don't you baby that bitch your with instead of your fucking wife!” I yelled showing my ring

“y/n” He said loud enough so he wasn't yelling at me but I stopped talking

“y/n, baby, you talking bout Sofia?” he asked eyebrows raised

“...yes” I said quietly 

“Baby I'm doing this for us. I wasn't gonna tell you this but I killed Alberto Falcone. I'm hanging around Sofia to get in her good graces or whatever so she doesn't think it was me and more importantly she stays away from you.” It was silent for a moment then I asked

“Why did you kill him?” 

“...He laughed at me baby”

“Aw baby” I said and I reached for his face with my right hand

“Im sorry” I said with a sympathetic smile

“But you know I can take care of myself… right?”

“I know but I like to take care of ya doll. Its my job I gotta look out for you.” he said pushing your braids out of your face and giving you a kiss.

[kevinsdsy]

heyy idk if you’ve seen but apparently olympic athletes have to record themselves saying their names so that i’m assuming viewers and announcers have a reference for how to pronounce them? and apprently at least in some cases those audios didn’t get edited at allll lmao and you can hear background conversation and stuff and the first thing i thought of was what those would be like for the aftg characters that went on to play in the olympics

brought to you by this appearing on my fyp:

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGe78YUEP/

AHHHH I ACTUALLY HAD SEEN A VIDEO (i hadn’t seen this one yet but the one with the moroccan football soccer team) AND IT WAS SO FUNNY TO ME BECAUSE:

some of them were so confused if they were supposed to pronounce it in arabic or french (since arabic has a few letters that dont exist in the french alphabet) so i would imagine it for nabil to go like that where he goes: “nabil ma-moud” and laila goes “ma7moud. don’t you know how to pronounce your own name?” (like i said we have letters that dont exist in this alphabet so we use numbers to spell pronunciations sorry besties 🫣) and so he goes “oh we’re doing arabic? not english?” and they have to assure him he can just pronounce his name correctly.

and (2) apparently they also indicate that the players need to pause and one of the moroccan players went: “name” “pause” “name” as in they LITERALLY pronounced the pause out loud 😭😭 which i havent been able to stop thinking about like 😭😭 i’m trying really hard to think of who would even do such a thing because it’s SO SILLY but i can’t think of anyone— like sure we could say jeremy, but i feel like he would know better. we could say shawn, but he’s just a silly fanon socmed character atp yk. so idk 😭 i think i would love this one for matt where he doesn’t really think it through and he’s just reading out loud what’s in front of him SHDJFHFJ

i watched the other video that was put in the comments too of the tiktok you sent and jean moreau would definitely be serious about this and then you would hear jeremy in the background playing ping pong and yelling 😭 i think this could also work with kevin say and the foxes— so kevin is being all serious and then u hear nicky yelling in the background.

renee would do so well and it would be absolutely correct and perfect— no notes.

and i hate to go back to the moroccan team, but sadly i’m not just a sports fan in fiction, but i also support a sports team irl… i kid you not one of the players went: “[name] two. [name] two.” and then it had to be cut off and they had to explain to him “no. your name. then u pause. and then u say your name again.” and he was like :O without the two? LIKE MY BROTHER??? WHY DID YOU THINK U HAVE TO SAY THAT???? this too is something that’s so silly i cant even imagine someone of the aftg characters doing this 😭

but honestly i think overall the characters will do well without too much trouble. there might be some background noises— especially with the trojans because they’re such a big team and have do spend a longer period of time doing it while the foxes can just tell each other to shut up for a few seconds or either dan or coach will threaten them with extra laps around the court.

((anyways im not sure if anyone is interested in listening in to the moroccan team but here is a link anyways just in case: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZIJnEkJUV/ — it’s a mix of them speaking darija, french and spanish so yeah 😭😭 it adds to the messines))

[girlsinaband]

the girls in a band masterlist

here is my attempt to create a complete record of comics, shows, and movies about girls that are in a band. migrated from a cohost post. i have personally seen or read all of these. i have also added editorialization with my opinions of them. each section is vaguely in a "most-to-least liked" order, but i tried not to think about it too hard.

my criteria is vague and ephemeral. but generally it is along the lines of: there is at least one girl, and preferably at least two, performing with a physical instrument of any kind with a group of people. purely idol groups dont count for this. also see: The Formula

tv

we are lady parts: the only non anime entry in this section of the list, surprisingly! but a pinnacle of the form. i LOVE this show, it's incredible. and only twelve ~20 minute episodes total! the canonical girls in a band television show. it's funny, it's heartfelt, it's got hella band content. it's about a UK muslin girlpunk band trying to recruit an insanely anxious guitar player into their band while navigating family and relationships, like you do. this is one of my favorite early scenes in case you want more convincing: https://youtu.be/tzAGqmdOBzE

sound euphonium: this time, its a wind ensemble! the sports anime of girls in a band. incredible yuri. the first season is about Competition (guys we gotta rehearse real good and try and get past the prefectural competition!). and then the second season is about Trauma (band-wise, family-wise, relationship-wise, and more!). an adaptation of a bunch of light novels that are unfortunately mostly not translated into english (or not translated very well)

girls band cry: a truly fantastic show. as you can tell from the name, it knows exactly what its about. girl moves to tokyo to escape her family and then gets swept off her feet by an ex-member of a band she likes. this one is mostly about girls being pieces of shit. basically all of the characters are kinda a dick in a fun way, and it makes for great storytelling. going in, the main girl is sorta setting up to be a cute and demure, but it turns out she's a huge asshole to everyone around her. the band (togenashi togeari) is also a real life band that is performed by the voice actresses, and has great music and a 10-song album already! their music is very good. also the show is cg animation but it REALLY goes wild with it and makes the characters super expressive. literally no caveats on the style here like you normally get with cg, it's fantastic animation

bocchi the rock (adaptation of the comic): you've probably heard about this one. girl so anxious her animation is constantly melting gets roped into joining a band. takes the sorta ok 4koma and goes crazy with the adaptation, making use of animation to elevate the sorta basic 4koma gags into full-ass comedy scenes. awesome performances and music.

scott pilgrim takes off: reimagining of the scott pilgrim comic. even more great band content. it's good

k-on (adaptation): pure fluff girls in a band. very cute. kinda like spooning sugar directly into your mouth. it's fun. i wouldn't call it "plotless" but it's basically just about having fun with your friends in a band. oh my god as im writing this i just remembered this is an adaptation of a 4koma that i havent read yet, so i need to do that i have done this now

bang dream its mygo: yep, it's a bang dream! i havent played the gatcha games, but this is a perfectly good standalone show. sticks to the girls in a band formula. stop me if you've heard this one before: a girl wants to form a band, and tries to rope an anxious girl into joining. the cg animation is pretty good in my opinion, but it's still definitely that kind of thing where you might have to get over it

jellyfish can't swim in the night: this more or less slides into this list on technicalities (they have a guitar player and a pianist! and...a producer! and also an artist. they also do perform on a stage. thats a band, right? probably). an artist, who became disillusioned with drawing when her middle school friends mocked a drawing she was proud of, is swept off her feet by an ex-idol (sound familiar?) that's in love with that art piece she is now ashamed of. they form essentially an online artist collective, producing music and music videos with artist girl's art and ex-idol girl's singing. it's about being a Creator online and dealing with all that entails (online identities, shitty randos). the characters all have some Trauma from their respective middle school experiences, and they are working through it. the show started out very strong, but fell apart in the second half and now that it's finished i dont really recommend watching it. very unfortunate

carole and tuesday: directed by the cowboy bebop guy! very up and down. two girls living on Future Mars playing guitar and keyboard form a duo together. the first half was pretty good! it's about them forming their group and gradually getting more famous. the second half is horrible and has insane stupid liberal politics. (what if trump wasn't actually a bad guy he was just being blackmailed by an evil ai or some shit like that. ive pushed it out of my mind. just watch the first half if you want to see it)

whisper me a love song (adaptation): this sure is an adaptation of the manga! i think the manga is only ok and this adaptation is pretty cheap and brings nothing new to the table. also still airing at the time of writing so this adaptation just kinda ground to a halt with like 3 episodes left to go and there's no sign of it continuing to air. weird. it still wasnt very good

bang dream: yep, it's a bang dream! this is the only anime on this list i actively made the decision to stop watching because i hated it so much. i finished season 1, but then season 2 had awful cg and made it clear that i was missing things from not having played the gatcha. don't bother with this and watch mygo instead if you want an actual television show

movies

linda linda linda: my favorite movie and one of my favorite things ever. after a girl band lost two members before their big school festival performance, they ask the first girl they see to join their band as a vocalist, who happens to be a korean exchange student who doesn't speak much japanese. teenage shenanigans ensue as they scramble to figure out their new performance in just a few days. the story is portrayed in a kinda dreamy, meandering way, and is very much about high school girls being high school girls. they know they need to do something important but they keep getting distracted by other things in their lives

liz and the blue bird: my second favorite movie and also one of my favorite things ever. a spinoff of sound euphonium, set after the events of the first two seasons of the show, but very much a standalone thing that can be watched in isolation. two girls (a flutist and an oboist) are playing a duet in this year's show, but a fallout in their relationship in the years prior is still interfering with their performance. they need to resolve their differences and their love and their futures in order to ensure the success of the entire ensemble in the competition. everything about it is gorgeous. i don't know what else to say. a movie where just watching a performance can make you cry

swing girls: movie about teenage chaos. a brass band is going to perform in a baseball game. but then basically everyone gets sick. so they need to try and put together a new band! i gotta rewatch this one it's been a while my memory is hazy

sound euphonium our promise a brand new day (sequel): and now the direct sequel to season 2 of the anime! this is definitely not a standalone thing. remember liz and the blue bird? this takes place during that same year! you get to see the full performance of that piece! but this time it's about the girls from the show and in the show's art style

the runaways: kristen stewart plays joan jett in this one and she's so hot that it basically has ruined my ability to have any coherent thoughts about the movie. if that sounds like a pitch to you then you should watch it

k-on (sequel): sequel to the anime! the girls take a trip to london. not really a standalone thing but i guess you could watch it on its own if you really wanted to. just a great compression of the fun of the show into movie form. girls having a good time

scott pilgrim vs the world (adaptation): you already know this one. i like the story of the comic more but the character performances are great

josie and the pussycats: goofy in that disney channel movie kinda way. the government is secretly trying to use subliminal messaging in music to mind control people into buying things. and the girls' band is brought into this evil world. and only they can stop it....

we are the best: swedish film about some 13 year old girls trying to form a punk band even though they don't actually know how to play any instruments. it's fine! definitely girls in a band but it didn't do much for me

jem and the holograms: i really wanted to find a contrarian viewpoint on this movie to be like "everyone says its bad but i dunno i think its fun!" but no, it just is actually bad. four sisters rocket to fame after uploading one of the sisters singing to youtube. and also there is...a....robot? made by one of the girls' father, that uhhh beatboxes and leads them on a scavenger hunt? i only watched this like four days ago and it's already rolling off my mind. dumb in the "bad disney channel original movie" way (unlike josie and the pussycats which has a goofy camp charm going for it)

comics

how do we relationship: yuri about two college students who are in their school's band club. more focused on their relationship than the bands, but there still is a lot of band content and performances

scott pilgrim: what more can be said

bocchi the rock gaiden: hiroi kikuri no fukazake nikki: the better version of the bocchi the rock comic, since it's not a 4koma. follows a mostly drunken hiroi around, which is something we all want and need

k-on: a great 4koma! unlike the bocchi manga, this really stands on its own as a well-done comic beyond the (also excellent) adaptation. sticks to the format really well and has some truly hilarious gags that i think would only work in 4koma form. lots of fun. also holy hell mugi is really gay in it. im glad the high school sequel comic gave ui and azusa got their own volume to be in the spotlight, they deserve it

beat & motion: wow, jellyfish can't swim in the night really is just doing the same plot as this, huh. and it makes it into this list on an even more tenuous technicality than jellyfish did. an artist, who became disillusioned with drawing when her his middle school friends mocked a drawing she he was proud of, is swept off her feet by a ex-idol musician he's a fan of that's in love with that art piece she is now ashamed of an animation he posted online. this is DEFINITELY "boys in a band". and its KINDA "girls in a band"? im allowing this in the list because it's absolutely got the vibes and two women do play instruments together in it like once or twice. i am enjoying it so far, curious to see where it goes

nana: i stopped reading this after 9 volumes (out of 21) because it got kinda bad and boring. but i enjoyed everything before that! and there is also an anime adaptation and two live action movies i need to watch. two girls named nana, one of whom is/used to be in a band run into each other randomly and end up living together. sort of in the "how do we relationship genre" of girls in a band where it's more about the relationships inside and out of the band. but nana is very much in the band and performs a lot! this is the most heterosexual yuri ive ever seen. they say the most romantic things about each other and talk about kissing all the time and then will be like "damn all this romantic talk about my roommate is really making me hanker for a boyfriend"

whisper me a love song: bloom into you-kind yuri about one of the girls falling in love with the other girl's performance in a band. very basic yuri stuff

bocchi the rock: the manga that spawned the anime! it's a 4koma. and believe it or not, it's not actually very good. the anime did a lot to tighten up the jokes and storytelling

k-on shuffle: it's k-on again! but with different girls. as of writing only one volume is out. it's...fine! i dont care about the characters as much as the original show which is a pretty big knock against it

hello melancholic: also yuri, but didn't leave as much of an impression on me. girl gets pressured into joining a band because she's too gay to say no

kuuden noise no himegimi / kuuden no himegimi: less explicitly yuri, but, you know, girls. also didn't leave too much of an impression on me. guitar girl with an ex-rocker dad meets a girl with a beautiful singing voice. and then joins a band with some of her dad's rocker buddies, then tries to get singer girl to join. its kinda slow and very elemental to this genre in the sense that its mostly just people talking about the band and band related things (practicing, how hard it is to compose music, etc). also one of the few of these that lets its band be properly bad and disliked by people

things that I will add once i read/watch them:

shiori experience

super sonico

show by rock

her smell

miss granny

and that's all i got! let me know what ive missed. i (obviously) love this genre so i'll consume most anything in it

[turnin9pag3]

its 3am and i cant sleep again.

its 3am and im tossing and turning.

its 3am and my mind is my own enemy.

its 3am and my mind is my best friend.

its 3am and i want someone to talk to other than myself.

but everyones asleep.

either that or they just dont care enough to answer.

id rather the prior.

actually id rather them talk to me.

no i wouldnt i take that back.

i do not know what i want.

is this my fatal flaw?

i want to talk to someone to pull me out when ive sunk under again.

but i know i cannot tell anyone.

i am a coward.

i am a coward and everyone is asleep so it doesnt really matter anyways does it.

everyone is asleep and the stars on my roof have long since gone out and my bed is on fire and my brain is melting and my head is in purgatory and thom yorkes voice streams from my record player and i scream for it to stop but i cant bring myself to turn it off.

i miss when that sound brought me comfort.

now all it brings is painful unwanted memories.

but i have to want them to some extent because even after yelling for it to turn off i still get up when it goes dead and flip the vinyl around just so i can start screaming again.

and as all this goes on i question to myself- is this insanity.

have i gone truly purely insane.

lolled over on my flaming mattress while i grab these awful thoughts and smother myself in them.

maybe im a sadist.

or a masochist.

im not sure which to define myself because when your inflicting your own pain from outside your body which can you be accredited for?

the victim or the culprit.

i am the result of my own creation.

i am my own demise.

but its 3am and i dont see any stars so maybe ill try to go bed.

but i guess i wouldnt be up at 3am if i could so ill sit in the dark with radiohead softly singing me to insanity til i drift away or rip my hair out.

i guess we just have to wait and see which will come first.

and lord i pray its not the latter.

[liliumsabyss]

Almost(Sweet Music)

Light The Way Series

FEM DNI, I SWEAR YOU WILL BE BLOCKED

Levi Ackerman x Male Reader

Word Count: 2.01k

Tw: Levi and Reader have Daughter, Daughter named after Hange Zoe, Deceased Reader, Spousal death, not during timeline after entire plot occurs, vague allusions to a fatal illness/condition, maybe oof Levi(?), Not a song fic, and essentially the entire thing is about grief

A/n: Daughter has black hair but readers eye colour so could be interpreted as related biologically to both you or if you have black hair than she could be only related to you or if you dont she could be just related to Levi and happen to have your eye colour. Or if your like me and she could be biologically related to both of you and you want her to be but you also have grey eye’s than and I would just choose a specific shade. Essentially her entire being is up for interpretation by you so interpret it how you want if your like me and overthink everything.

Levi walked into the small house that laid on the outskirts of the city away from everything. While the age of titans had been over the scouts had not been disbanded still having to clean up the mess of the whole war, Levi still held his high position but had double the paperwork so he often ended up returning home late. The man had large bags under his eyes marking his tiredness and endless hours of work. Walking into the house he slipped off his shoes but stopped mid action hearing a soft melody playing from the upstairs of the old house. A familiar heart aching melody, he finished slipping off his shoes and hanging up his coat before climbing up the stairs he walked down the wooden hallway to the third door from the end the door was wide open. The man stopped leaning against the frame of the door peering into the room. The room had scribble drawings across the walls as well as beautifully done murals also painted next to them, toys, paintbrushes, and other various items. In the room a little girl around the age of ten with long black hair splayed around her head and bright (e/c) eyes laid on the floor staring up at the ceiling, a record player sat near her head playing the melody that Levi both loved and dreaded. On the ceiling that the girl stared upon was a beautifully painted mural of said little girl only younger maybe four or five being held by the same man as the one by the door frame but there was another man holding her on the other side he had (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes and the warmest smile. The girl continued to listen to the tune and stare at the ceiling in thought.

“ Zoe you shouldn’t be up.” The raven haired male stared at the girl on the floor who at the voice bolted straight up onto her feet, her face breaking out in a huge grin.

“ Papa! Your home!’ She said barreling towards the man full speed, throwing her arms around him, giving him a huge hug in which he staggered slightly at the force before he returned it slightly.

“ Zoe,” Levi responded sternly looking down at her as she started to slowly chuckle in response, “ You shouldn’t be up. And where did you get that record?”

“ Well I may or may not have been looking around the house and stumbled upon it.” Zoe said nervously which Levi had known was a complete lie that she stumbled upon it for it had been kept in a large wooden box under his bed that held all other remnants of you.

“ Zoe I know that's a lie but we will talk about it in the morning. You need to go to bed.” The raven haired male said sighing as he lifted up his daughter carrying her to her bed as she snuggled under the covers. The man turned to leave the room when Zoe let out a sharp wait.

“ Can you tell me how you and dad met again?” The black haired girl said with a huge grin across her face that made Levi’s heart swell and shrink at the same time as he looked just slightly past her to see a picture of you with the same grin on her nightstand. Oh how much she seemed like you Levi could never fathom but the corners of his mouth quivered upwards just the slightest bit to form a tiny almost smile which didn’t get past Zoe seeing as her papa rarely had smiled ever but especially since you had been gone.

“ He was part of the scouts but the scientific reserve unit, we always noticed one another. It was just pointless to interact especially when I had to keep an eye on those brats but when I had an off day I went to a tea shop. All the chairs had been taken though except for one chair at the table where your Dad was sitting…” Levi started in his usual deadpan tone but a slight fondness creeped into his voice when he stated “brats” and “ Dad”. He continued on with the story until he heated a slight snoring looking down to see Zoe fast asleep. Levi put a small kiss to her forehead before he stood up grabbing the record from the record player and its sheet next to it as he walked to his room, closing the door and turning off the lights behind him. 

When he got to the cold empty dark room he had once shared with you, the bed remained the same as that day except his side had some wrinkles in the blankets and some in the pillows. He was about to place the record back in its sheet but instead he placed the vinyl on the player gently placing the needle on the outer rim of the disk. The sweet music started to play in the dark bedroom as Levi walked towards the open wooden box that sat on the floor, crouching down he peered inside to see your scouts badge, your certification, your ID, your favorite books, your sketchbooks, pictures of you and any other reminders of your existence. Levi gently grabbed one of the heavy books only to open revealing pages filled with photos, photos that were tinted beige and brown and others in black and white. The photos contained you in the earlier pages were photos of you when you first started as a scout as a teen and even a couple of you as a kid while you had little to nothing and lived on the outskirts of the Underground yu had a huge smile on your face. And as he flipped the pages you started to get older in the photos and then when you appeared to be around thirty the raven haired male started to appear in the photos with you, you juxtaposed each other him with harsh demeanor and deadpan look while you had a certain brightness in your eyes and a huge grin. And then when he turned the pages another was added into the mix an adorable baby girl with a scrunched up face black hair and sparkling (e/c) eyes as you proudly held her in the photos. Then the little girl slowly got older as Levi stared at the photos of you helping her stand and the photos of the three of you doing all sorts of things. But then before Levi realized it he was on the final page, a large photo of the three of you having a picnic by the ocean in which you had managed your largest grin your tired eyes squinting your frail body hugging the raven haired male and your five your old daughter who was holding up a shell proudly in his hands. Looking at the pictures with the soft melody playing in the back that you always hummed and convinced him to slow dance in the middle of the night after both long shifts reminded him just how much he had loved you, how he still loves you his heart still skipped a beat looking at you even after all these years of you being gone. And he slowly put away the picture book and records back into the wooden box before climbing onto the bed laying on top of the covers.

A couple of days later Zoe asked, more like demanded to have a picnic at the beach which in the past Levi had always said no since you had passed however for some inexplicable reason he had begrudgingly agreed to which Zoe’s face had lit up. When they got to the beach the overpowering small of the salt and the deafening crashes of waves with seagulls squawking unpleasant tunes bombarded the air. The raven haired male's stomach felt sickening being there without you felt…wrong. His breathing became rigid and uneven, his posture stiff, his heart racing, and his ears fuzzy as he stared out at the beautiful turquoise waters that were decorated with white seafoam and porcelain sand. The raven haired girl who had her iconic large grin on her face turned happily to look at her father who had been standing even stiffer then his usual demeanor. She quickly grabbed his hand causing him to flinch and look down at the girl in a passing surprise. Zoe tugged the hand of her father towards the ocean causing him to stumble at the force, almost dropping the picnic basket that he held in his other hand. She sprinted causing him also to run to get up to keep up with her. Soon she came to a startling stop as the two laid down the pleated blue blanket that reflected the color of the depths of the ocean. The off white sand shifted under their feet in a struggle to kick off their shoes to avoid getting sand on the cloth. Even still sand got on the blanket which Levi compulsively brushed off but instead of trying to get every tiny grain off he stopped after getting the majority off. The two chatted which was more of a one sided conversation of Zoe ranting about all topics and the raven haired male occasionally let out more of a response than a simple nod, shake of the head, or hum. Zoe started to slow down her rant eventually staring out at the ocean. The entirety of going to the beach shocked Levi, the sun warming his pale almost corpse like face as he finally started to look less like death than he did for the previous five years.

“ Papa you're finally getting some sun so you're less vampire-like!” The dark haired girl said giggling Levi only shook his head at the statement, the corners of his mouth twitching.

“ But seriously papa you look better than you have in years you’ve finally got some color back.” The girl said, staring out at the ocean, her eyes glimmering in the sun. Levi looked at her in a short surprise of her statement and followed her gaze towards the ocean. She then fo no apparent reason started to laugh kicking her feet so similar to you and Levi before he realized it he was laughing with her like he used to.

Once they got back the two listened to the radio at the makeshift dining table covered in paperwork. The drowning sounds of the radio made him think of you as you two would stay up late working on your reports side by side at the same table. You two never needed anything but the other's presence. But soon enough Levi realized the time and made sure to tuck Zoe into bed. Then he was alone. He walked outside to the back porch where the gardens you had so delicately maintained stayed maintained no matter how little free time the raven haired male had. He sat in one of the two oak colored rocking-chairs that sat on the porch. One was his, the other belongs or at least had belonged to you yet it remained vacant since you had passed. Levi sat thinking, staring out into the dark. Most nights, especially ones he had off he repeated this routine. He thought mostly of you and the lifetime you two had together which seemed now like yesterday but also so far away. The thought of it all did make him sad rather than his usual anger filled responses of course he would never let that emotion show to anyone well not anyone alive. However after the years had passed he had better nights without you where the thought of you made him nostalgic rather than despair. And that night after reminiscing of you he had headed up to the empty dark bedroom taking out the record and placing the needle on it as it slowly started to whirl to life playing the same tune it had nights before and half a decade before that. But when he got into bed instead of sleeping on top of the perfectly made covers like usual he climbed underneath getting lost in the warmth drifting off to a peaceful sleep, finally starting to heal after years of ruin.

[victimeyez]

The Balancing Act

Professional//Victim

Masterlist: x Prev: x Next:

Caius carries Tommy to bed, and muses on their precarious relationship.

TAGLIST: @suspicious-whumping-egg @  @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @whumpyourdamnpears @generic-whumperz @lonesome--hunter @whumplr-reader @theelvishcowgirl @sunshiline-writes @dont-be-gentle-please @galesgallery @thembology @2in1whump @sparrowsage @apokolyps @whumpinggrounds

Tommy was passed out. Caius didn’t want to wake him though, so he held the smaller man in his arms and carried him into the house. (Just this once.) 

This one had been a rough one. Tommy never did well with the ones who wanted sex. Caius thought he would prefer those to the pure pain ones, but he knew those ones really shook him. 

He’d gotten quite good at reading Tommy. Keeping him balanced was a big part of his job, and sometimes that meant providing some niceties. He kept him on high-dose antidepressants to help manage his mood. It also helped with stopping him from trying to off himself, though they had been careful to remove any opportunity for it in his cell. 

He couldn’t remember the last time he had replaced Tommy’s books, but now he had a whole box of them from a library sale. He’d also gotten Tommy a record player with a handful of vinyls. As long as he kept it quiet, he could have it. 

(At least, for now.) 

But some things had to get worse before they could get better. He hadn’t intervened, as the clients had seemed pleased, but he couldn’t let Tommy’s disobedience slide. He’d talked and fought back just the right amount, and he didn’t hold that part against him. 

Trying to communicate with Caius during a session, however, was very much against the rules. He would have to be punished for his indiscretion, but Caius was confident he could keep him from crashing too hard. A little time in punishment and then he could get his “rewards”. When a client clued him in that their session would be a particularly bad one, he prepared minor comforts to soothe Tommy with afterwards.

Especially at the beginning, he had to learn the hard way with Tommy’s limits.Times he hadn’t given him enough of a break always ended up one of two ways: with Tommy catatonic for a month, or pissed off enough to get stupid. He’d try to make an escape or swing on him, and then he’d have to be beaten hard enough that he’d remember why he stopped trying ages ago. It was an ugly affair, and thankfully not one that had been repeated for over a year now. 

He laid him down on his bed, already regretting carrying him as his back ached.. 

He locked his chain lead on. They didn’t always use it, but the chain was bolted to the floor and cemented around the base. Tommy was always kept in high security, one of the only things they had done right when they started their business. Sometimes newbies would try to give their people small freedoms, which inevitably lead to escape attempts and attacks. It partially depended on how meek they’d been made yet, but the psychological aspects could not be trusted like a chain could.

He leaned over to grab his sheets to tuck him in, but Tommy began to stir. Caius pulled the blankets up and bleary red eyes met his.

“You ruined my life.” 

His gaze was unfocused and he spoke quietly. It wasn’t said with an accusatory tone this time. He just sounded so tired. His tone was filled with an aching acceptance, and all the grief in the world.

“You took everything from me.”

“I know.”