#marauders as things my friends have said

[that-bitch-kat3]

sirius: i cant shag remus! itd be like shagging james!

marlene: so saying that you cant shag remus because it’d be like shaggings someone else in your incestuous polycule of a friend group doesn’t actually help your case

[genderflouiid]

marauders as things my friends have said

james: what’s your red flag?

regulus: um, i don’t kno—

james: i think you’re mean

[marauders-quotes-bymyfriends]

The emeralds casually chatting about something incredibly unhinged

my friends had this conversation at lunch and I just-

Dorcas: *pretending to hold out a microphone* so do you take the 16 STDs or double it and give it to the next person?

Pandora: I take the 16 STDs!

Evan: nooo, I wanted 32 STDs....

Barty: *waggling his eyebrows suggestively* I'll give you 32 STDs-

Regulus: *hits barty over the head with his school bag*

[noirsnonsense]

marauders as things my friends and I have said pt 1

all parts

barty: what if I stuck it in your ear

evan: kinky?

regulus: no, emergency room

Remus: you're a switch?

Sirius: yeah?

James: AND you're bisexual?

Sirius: yes..?

Remus: AND you use all pronouns?

Sirius: uh-huh.....?

Peter: so were you just born indecisive as fuck?

Pandora: regulus is going through some things with his family, he needs space

Barty: aren't we all? fuck his space

Sirius: I FOUND MY TOP!

James: is it Remus... Is Remus the top...

rando: what's masochist?

Barty: finding pleasure in pain inflicted by your partner when intimate.

Evan: id let Barty stab me during sex.

Remus: YOU TOLD ME TO FUCK YOU SO I DID. YOURE FUCKED

Peter: just lost my virginity

James: oh...

Sirius: HUH

Peter: I'm jp I just needed y'all to answer

Sirius: *sends a screenshot of $$ balance*

Remus: want some head?

Barty: he's just listening to whimper audios again

Evan: I'm actually sobbing why is it so creamy

Evan: ugh y'all distracted me I was supposed to be reading

Regulus: YOU WERE LISTENING TO ASMR??

Barty: no need, I like it raw

Pandora: hey kids! This is a perfect example of unsafe sex! Now let's go through unplanned parenthood!

James: Regulus this was YOUR fault

Regulus: shut up I'll fuck you again

[accio-sriracha]

Sirius: *staying up to work on something*

Coffee Pot: *starts rumbling*

Sirius: For fuck's sake, Remus, it's ONE IN THE MORNING.

Remus: *shaking, already filled with caffiene* Don't judge me.

Sirius: ....

[justasinglegaygirl]

Marauders as thing my frinds said pt.2

Sirius:*is sitting on james's lap* i can't believe people ship us. I mean we're clearly brothers.

James: *is feeding sirius from his plate* yeah pads. Like we're just best mates.

Peter & remus: um should we tell them or...

[regulus-smith]

The Marauders era as conversations I've had with my friends

Barty: *sends tiktok that has Blood//Water playing in the background*

Evan: WELL NEVER GET FREE

Evan: LAND TO THE SLAUGHTER

Marlene: that song is ass

Evan: GOOD!

Marlene: and it's lamb, not land.

Evan: what.

Marlene: yep

Evan: how.

Evan: I've been lied to.

[hotdamnitsmoony]

the marauders as conversations i’ve had with my friends pt7

sirius: anyone wanna go stand out in that little play park and look creepy?

remus: yeah, alright

james: nah, it’s kinda cold

peter: yeah, we’ll stay here

sirius: ok! *grabs remus by the wrist and drags him outside*

james: they’re totally gonna shag

peter: in a children’s play park?

james: you think that matters to them?

[turnin9pag3]

Marauders as things me and my friends have said:

Part 42

Lily (while quizzing marlene on elements): whats Hg

Marlene: OOO OO IK THIS ONE

Marlene: ITS UHHH FUCKING AHHH WHAT IS IT

Marlene: ITS LIKE HYPOGOLOCTATE OR SOME SHIT

Lily: its mercury💀

Marlene: oh!

Lily: the confidince “oh ik this one!!”

Marlene: 😐

Lily: negative 2000 aura🤣🤣

Marlene: stop talking.

[callmeyourspecialinterest]

Regulus walking over with a strange glint in his eyes and the corner of his mouth twitching.

James: oh, you’re unhinged again today, I like it.

[urlove-star]

Marlene: You know what the leading cause of divorce? I looked it up one day.

Mary: The leading?

Marlene: The leading cause of divorce in the UK, you know what it is? Marriage, 100% of people that get divorced got married. Isn't that weird?

Mary: I'd like to hit you with my book as hard as I can.

[that-bitch-kat3]

james after walking in on remus and sirius right after they got together: that took years off of my life

sirius still salty because james HAD THE FUCKING MAP: not enough of them

[genderflouiid]

marauders as things my friends have said

james: i don’t want to call out this week, there’s a field trip on friday and i really wanna go

regulus: you literally might have appendicitis. we’re going to the hospital

[marauders-quotes-bymyfriends]

things my friends have said as marauders quotes - part 7

“Espionage? Yeah, ‘cause it’s fun.” - Dorcas

“eVeRyOnE kEePs TeLlInG mE hOw My StOrY iS sUpPoSeD tO gO” - Sirius

“It’s very difficult to make oat milk because they have to milk the oats—they have to find the udders of the oats and milk them. Same with soy milk and almond milk.” - Pandora

“Reg is telling Barty to (legally) drown in tar” - Evan

[noirsnonsense]

Marauders as things my friends have said (pt. 3)

cheezers addition. (@al1xre @fredweasleysprostitute @writtcnbycassie @aepbloody)

other parts

barty: are you into feet? everyone: ... barty: sorry weird question evan: yes, I love eating your toes

james: I want to kiss someone sirius: kiss everyone. lets all be sluts. james: NO MARAUDER LEFT BEHIND! GANGBANG!

regulus: lets all group suicide barty: YESSS evan: I know cursive, my notes gonna be fancy as fuck.

barty: my stomach hurts evan: ugh mine too barty: lets help each other. in any way.

barty: send me videos of you humping the pillows

james: 14 year old us is STUPID for rejecting that sexy MASCULINE piece of meat sirius: I'm literally foaming at the mouth

barty: You can touch your body which gives you pleasure.. especially between your legs.. regulus: okay goodnight. dorcas: js put it away bae marlene: my dick is offended

marlene: I don't listen to Men moaning I listen to women moaning

regulus: …. 🔫 come again? barty: if you say so

[accio-sriracha]

Remus: *talking to Peter* Yeah, so I asked if he wanted to come inside and-

Sirius: *walking in at the wrong moment* You wanted WHO to come inside of you??

James: *also walking in at the wrong moment* REMUS IS GAY???

Remus: *exasperated* No- I mean, yes- But that's not what happened!