#marauders as things my friends have said

[turnin9pag3]

Marauders as things me and my friends have said:

Part 47

Barty: guys i just took 20mg of melatonin im about to ascend to a higher realm of being

Regulus: i hope you pass out and never wake up

Dorcas: ngl i hope you overdose

Barty: shit man i do too

[that-bitch-kat3]

sirius: i cant shag remus! itd be like shagging james!

marlene: so saying that you cant shag remus because it’d be like shaggings someone else in your incestuous polycule of a friend group doesn’t actually help your case

[genderflouiid]

marauders as things my friends have said

james: what’s your red flag?

regulus: um, i don’t kno—

james: i think you’re mean

[marauders-quotes-bymyfriends]

The emeralds casually chatting about something incredibly unhinged

my friends had this conversation at lunch and I just-

Dorcas: *pretending to hold out a microphone* so do you take the 16 STDs or double it and give it to the next person?

Pandora: I take the 16 STDs!

Evan: nooo, I wanted 32 STDs....

Barty: *waggling his eyebrows suggestively* I'll give you 32 STDs-

Regulus: *hits barty over the head with his school bag*

[noirsnonsense]

marauders as things my friends and I have said pt 1

all parts

barty: what if I stuck it in your ear

evan: kinky?

regulus: no, emergency room

Remus: you're a switch?

Sirius: yeah?

James: AND you're bisexual?

Sirius: yes..?

Remus: AND you use all pronouns?

Sirius: uh-huh.....?

Peter: so were you just born indecisive as fuck?

Pandora: regulus is going through some things with his family, he needs space

Barty: aren't we all? fuck his space

Sirius: I FOUND MY TOP!

James: is it Remus... Is Remus the top...

rando: what's masochist?

Barty: finding pleasure in pain inflicted by your partner when intimate.

Evan: id let Barty stab me during sex.

Remus: YOU TOLD ME TO FUCK YOU SO I DID. YOURE FUCKED

Peter: just lost my virginity

James: oh...

Sirius: HUH

Peter: I'm jp I just needed y'all to answer

Sirius: *sends a screenshot of $$ balance*

Remus: want some head?

Barty: he's just listening to whimper audios again

Evan: I'm actually sobbing why is it so creamy

Evan: ugh y'all distracted me I was supposed to be reading

Regulus: YOU WERE LISTENING TO ASMR??

Barty: no need, I like it raw

Pandora: hey kids! This is a perfect example of unsafe sex! Now let's go through unplanned parenthood!

James: Regulus this was YOUR fault

Regulus: shut up I'll fuck you again

[regulus-smith]

The Marauders era as conversations I've had with my friends

Barty: *sends tiktok that has Blood//Water playing in the background*

Evan: WELL NEVER GET FREE

Evan: LAND TO THE SLAUGHTER

Marlene: that song is ass

Evan: GOOD!

Marlene: and it's lamb, not land.

Evan: what.

Marlene: yep

Evan: how.

Evan: I've been lied to.

[hotdamnitsmoony]

the marauders as conversations i’ve had with my friends pt7

sirius: anyone wanna go stand out in that little play park and look creepy?

remus: yeah, alright

james: nah, it’s kinda cold

peter: yeah, we’ll stay here

sirius: ok! *grabs remus by the wrist and drags him outside*

james: they’re totally gonna shag

peter: in a children’s play park?

james: you think that matters to them?

[callmeyourspecialinterest]

Regulus walking over with a strange glint in his eyes and the corner of his mouth twitching.

James: oh, you’re unhinged again today, I like it.

[justasinglegaygirl]

Marauders as thing me and my friends said

James : pads, do you think I'm autistic?

Sirius : yeah.

James : i meant literally not in general

Sirius : yk what prongs i think you are. I think i am too

James : that's why we're best mates pads.

*remus watching over the book he's reading*

Remus : how are they friends with me again.

[urlove-star]

Marlene: You know what the leading cause of divorce? I looked it up one day.

Mary: The leading?

Marlene: The leading cause of divorce in the UK, you know what it is? Marriage, 100% of people that get divorced got married. Isn't that weird?

Mary: I'd like to hit you with my book as hard as I can.

[sunmoonyandstars]

marauders characters as things that happened in my day today!!

the couple having a screaming match in a house I walked by with my friends: wallburga and orion

my friend eating two slices of pizza at the same time: James

me hanging off a pretty light pole singing when he sees me dramatically and loudly: sirius

the person on the floor looking like a dead body: regulus

me and my friend burying him in blankets and pillows: barty and evan

[turnin9pag3]

Marauders as things me and my friends have said:

Part 46

Sirius: if you had 10000 dollars whats the first thing you’d buy

Remus: a plane ticket for you to leave me alone

[that-bitch-kat3]

james after walking in on remus and sirius right after they got together: that took years off of my life

sirius still salty because james HAD THE FUCKING MAP: not enough of them

[genderflouiid]

marauders as things my friends have said

james: i don’t want to call out this week, there’s a field trip on friday and i really wanna go

regulus: you literally might have appendicitis. we’re going to the hospital

[marauders-quotes-bymyfriends]

things my friends have said as marauders quotes - part 7

“Espionage? Yeah, ‘cause it’s fun.” - Dorcas

“eVeRyOnE kEePs TeLlInG mE hOw My StOrY iS sUpPoSeD tO gO” - Sirius

“It’s very difficult to make oat milk because they have to milk the oats—they have to find the udders of the oats and milk them. Same with soy milk and almond milk.” - Pandora

“Reg is telling Barty to (legally) drown in tar” - Evan

[noirsnonsense]

Marauders as things my friends have said pt 2

had a deep dive in our discord dms for this shit. @al1xre as promised. love you tater tot 😽🩷 which friend should I target next.. nani or cece.... I got A LOT on both them mfs

other parts

Sirius: BRO. YOU CAN FIGURE THIS OUT URSELF

James: BUT PADS??? YOURE MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT PERSON?? YOURE SUPPOSED TO HELP??

Dorcas: DUDE. IM NOT GOING TO REPEAT MYSELF.

Barty: YOURE NOT MY MOTHER. but fine.

James: STOP BEING GOOFY AND CONFESS

James: THIS IS STRESSING ME OUT

Sirius: YOU??? MF IM THE ONE IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS?

James: DAWG IM SHITTING BRICKS. WE'RE BASICALLY THE SAME PERSON SO

Peter: BRO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE IF YOU WONT LISTEN

Marlene: NO BUT THAT IS SCARY HUH

Lily: I DONT GIVE A FUCK. SAY IT.

Marlene: I'm telling Pandora you're being mean

Lily: I DONT GIVE FLYING FUCKS IM TRYING TO HELP YOU

Barty: shape one into a dick

Evan: bro there's children around

Dorcas: well she told me her name and I told her mine??

Barty: ... Congratulations?

Evan: hit the jackpot fr

Dorcas: I'm gonna stop talking to you both

Regulus: I love being the unproblematic bystander

Lily: ew I feel like a mother

Marlene: mommy lily

Lily: no pls I hate that

Mary: what about mother Lily?

Peter: I need help with the personality

James: uhmm.. harsh at first? Smoker definitely

Sirius: has a penis

Remus: HAS A PENIS? 😭

James: everythings possible

Dorcas: lesbians liking men

James: oh yeah. That's not possible.

Sirius: why don't you just fall for a friend?

James: eh idk.. most of em are taken

Sirius: wow ok I'm offended

James: don't you like Remus?

Sirius: still.. thought that counts..

Barty: potter doesn't think I'm scary, right?

Regulus: of course not! He thinks you're terrifying!

Remus: my coffee tastes like sad bean water :((

Sirius: put creamer in it

Remus: oh right I forgot

James: I appreciate you sm I love you

Sirius: I love you more??

James: impossible. I love you more.

Sirius: possible. I love you most.

James: I love you mostest.

Sirius: I love you more than mostest.

James: I love you more than more than mostest.

Sirius: that makes no sense what and you're wrong like its not possible

(Remus and Regulus side eyeing the fuck out of them both)

Evan: oh my gosh we both have siblings.. soulmates fr.

Regulus: i wanna be on your level of delusion

Sirius: how bout Remus turns around and looks at ME like that

James: id look at you like that

Sirius: THAT CAUGHT ME OFF GAURD.

Sirius: my life is so boring I need real drama

Peter: id create drama but being involved takes a lot of effort