#no don't be silly yours is so good !

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The indescribable tension between an overworked and underpaid smut writer, and his biggest fan hater.

(for @frummpets)

[uncanny-tranny]

The whole "breasts shouldn't be politicized because the primary purpose of breasts is to feed babies!" can be a fine jumping-off point, but I really wish people thought deeper than that when we talk about the ways in which bodies are politicized and restricted.

Like, why's it that when we talk about breasts, they must have some Higher Purpose? It's true that breasts aren't inherently sexual, but they aren't valuable solely because they can potentially feed a baby. A human body doesn't have to serve a Higher Purpose in order for it to not be legislated against or policed, and I just wish people would remember it isn't always about babies, about other people, about anything else other than the people who have that body.

[tragicvampireromanceisland]

been thinking about how joy and embarrassment might interact......they are so besties. To Me. <3

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

jon val jon or something

[brainrotcharacters]

"the worst Wolverine" (a term of endearment. A flirtation. A teasing.)

[nekrosmos]

Price is cold, very cold, Nik helps him out (SFW) | AO3

The stiffness in Price’s fingers had settled in a long time ago, hands pinned firmly under his armpits while shifting his weight around, hoping to get some heat back in his extremities, without much success. Every exhale gave him a proper view of how cold it really was, making him miss the countless ops in middle eastern summers that made him sweat every last drop of water in his body and burnt his skin. 

Yet, there stood Nikolai, next to him, jacket opened, a cigarette in his hands, looking like this was just a slightly chilly evening. Unbelievable. 

“Fucking hell, Nik.”

This got the Russian to raise an eyebrow at him, his dark eyes glaring into Price’s briefly, before handing him the cigarette he had just lit up.

“Hmh? Want one?”

A short laugh escaped Price’s lips as he shook his head, teeth shuddering as he opened his mouth. 

“Nah. All I want is some fucking heat, Nik.” He grumbled, words barely audible between his trembling and the slight wind piercing through his bones. “You owe me dinner for this.”

This whole thing had been Nik’s idea. A weapon’s deal, probably just a regular work day for him, if Nik hadn't smelled something fishy about this one. On such a short notice, all he could do was ask John for help and backup, something the captain was happy to provide, despite the negative temperatures. He just wished the asshole they were waiting for would show up quicker so the two of them could get back to their van. 

It was Nik’s turn to chuckle softly, exhaling the smoke slowly as he did so. He took a step closer to Price and the captain immediately felt the heat radiating off of him, his bigger shape gently pressing itself against his, leaving what little heat John had left in his own body to gather at the tip of his ears, under his beanie. 

“Is the cold that bad ?” The Russian asked, a wider smile on his face as he let one of his hands wander to the back of John’s neck, gloved fingers toying with his scarf. 

A soft, barely audible swear word was all John was able to answer, his cheeks warming up as he felt the warm leather gloves press against the skin of his neck. His blue eyes darted around the alley the two were standing in, checking if anyone was around, a habit of his he found difficult to get rid of. Things were still pretty recent with Nik, and it didn’t matter how safe he felt around the man or how capable he knew the two of them to be at protecting themselves, there would still be apprehension whenever Nikolai touched him this way outside.

Another exhale, John’s lips quivering as he stared into Nikolai’s dark eyes, whole body shaking under several layers of clothes as his answer. 

“Give me your hands.” Nik simply added, placing his cigarette between his lips and opening both of his palms, waiting for John to oblige him. 

For a moment, John stared at him, a frown on his face as he tried to understand what his plan could be. Another gust of wind rushing through the alley and piercing through his body was enough to convince him, however, finally removing his hands from beneath his armpits and placing them inside of Nikolai’s. 

“Better not start making me dance a waltz or anything.” Price mumbled, his apprehensions still very much in the back of his mind.

“A good idea for later.” Nik teased in return. 

His smile couldn’t have been wider as he closed his fingers around John’s hands, pulling them closer until they were resting against Nik’s sides, under his jacket. It was like placing your hands directly on a heater, the warmth immediately spreading inside John’s fingers, almost painfully so for half a second, until it became enjoyable again. 

“Better?” Nik asked as he let go of John’s hands, letting them rest against his sides before grabbing his cigarette again and slowly letting the smoke out. 

“Yeah. Fuck, Nik.” 

The urge to push his entire body against Nik’s, let his arms wrap themselves around his bigger shape and let his head rest in the crook of his neck, taking in all of his familiar and comforting scent was strong, too strong. There were still outside, in the cold, waiting for this fucking arms dealer to show up and all Price could think about was how good it would be to be pinned under Nik’s weight, how warm he would feel in his arms, his hot breath hitting the back of his neck as Nik laid on top of him, hips against his, hearing him whisper the most salacious praises in his ears while he - 

“John. John ? They’re here.” 

“Bollocks.” 

Price’s hands quickly let go of Nik, moving to the inside of his jacket’s pockets instead, fingers resting against the pistol concealed in it as three figures approached them with heavy cases in their hands. 

…

As the heavy van door slammed next to him, Price let out a sigh of relief. The inside of the vehicle was definitely an improvement from the outside temperature. He sat in the passenger seat, watching Nik take his place as the driver, the Russian humming happily as he placed his keys against the dashboard. 

“That went pretty well, didn’t it?” He asked, his usual smile still on his face. 

“The bloke I shot in the foot after they tried to grab us wouldn’t agree with you.” 

“Da, but they were very reasonable after that.” 

The inside of the van was suddenly filled with the sound of joyful laughter as the two men leaned against each other, one of Nik’s big hands first resting against Price’s shoulder, only to move to his chin, raising it up slightly, enough that his lips could meet John’s. Fifteen minutes ago, Nikolai was holding an eastern European mobster in a tight headlock, ready to crack his skull open, a proud display of his strength and resolve, and now, he was tenderly kissing his love, smiling behind his lips as his fingers dig into John’s beard, gently brushing against his skin. John loved that about him. 

“Still cold?” His deep voice was like a reassuring embrace to Price. 

“It’s better than standing outside but yeah, I’m still fucking freezing.” 

Nikolai nodded, grabbing his keys and turning the engine on. 

“I know a good way to warm you up.” 

The shit eating grin on his face was enough of a clue for John to understand what he meant by that, his insides twisting in anticipation. 

“Dinner first. You owe me, Nik.” 

“Da, da. I’m a gentleman, after all.” 

“Huh-huh.” 

Another shared laugh echoed inside the vehicle as they took off. No matter how cold John was at the moment, he had no doubts in his mind that Nik would indeed find a way to warm him up tonight. 

[lightbulb-warning]

shit man he's downright POSTITNOTE'D

[marclef]

So if Fakey hates baths and getting wet, then how does he stay clean?

..... clean?

he doesn't care about Clean all that much. not that it's too important anyways, since his body kinda just... naturally absorbs any outside smells. he doesn't really smell like much of anything.

but if it DOES end up getting bad enough, then warm water and baths is alright. it makes the whole "turning into a literal pile of wet goop" thing much more tolerable.

especially if there's bubbles. bubbles are tasty.

[mayhemspreadingguy]

How did this happen? @cuubism came up with the incredibly enticing idea to put Dream in the black leather pants. Then @magnusbae dutifully passed this brainrot into my brain. Brainstorming this was so so wild :D.

tiredly stretching in the classroom...

also, after I finished this drawing the pose reminded me of that one Flashdance scene (the chair dance with... the water 😳)

how is he able to squat like that in the skintight thick-leather pants? how did he even put those on in the first place? - and no zippers??

who knows, who knows xD

[svtskneecaps]

dude i fucking love how this server has communication as its premise and built into its fucking core. i fucking love that. bc it's one thing to be like 'this server is about multilingual communication and cultural exchange!!' bc that could present in any NUMBER of ways but like. with the federation and the eggs and a common shared goal they all decided WE ARE A TEAM. and like, ok,

when baghera was sus of jaiden because of the thing when pomme died and jaiden had been the reason baghera left her side for the only time that day, i wasn't even worried. i wasn't worried bc i was like "we just wait. because i know they will TALK TO EACH OTHER." and I WAS RIGHT. TWO DAYS LATER IT WAS ALL CLEARED UP AND BAGHERA WAS HELPING HER OUT WITH CUCURUCHO

and the ordo theoritas is functionally a secret organization. it would be SO EASY to gatekeep the lore, on grounds of "the federation is always watching and anyone could be a spy" and yet the ordo theoritas says that, like bad SAYS THAT, says OUT LOUD, "anyone could be a traitor" and then turns around and goes "hey person i've had a few days' worth of conversations with, here's a detailed rundown of everything we've learned about the island's mysteries, and the secret location of the ordo base". SOFIA was supposed to be secret from everyone, and for a little bit she was. but now like, the ordo theoritas is showing her to everyone. it would be SO EASY to hide things and to gatekeep things but they just. don't do it. here's the supercomputer!!!! don't forget to grab her waystone so you can come back anytime!!!

bad learns something. "i need to tell forever/cellbit/baghera". forever figures out a new way to protect the eggs, and he gets it to everyone within days. cucurucho tries to have a secret conversation and the entire server knows about it almost instantly and there are three people buried in the walls reading the subtitles and giving each other meaningful glances

i love it. i love it. miscommunication plotlines drive me up the fucking wall and the fact that i wasn't even SCARED when jaiden and baghera could easily have angled into an angsty tangled web of that and instead just MET WITH EACH OTHER AND EXPLAINED EVERYTHING AND CLEARED THE AIR ALMOST IMMEDIATELY was so fucking breathtaking. and this is a multilingual server. this is a MULTILINGUAL SERVER. i love it. i love it so much i want to cry. it's a server for communication and people Communicate, it would have been SO EASY to slip into monolingual factions and stick to the familiar but they DIDN'T. they DIDN'T. WE GET TO HAVE A THEORY TABLE WITH SO MANY LANGUAGES SITTING AROUND IT. we get to have conspiracy walls in every language!!!! idk sometimes i forget how fucking CRAZY all this is, like the scale of what they've accomplished

so yea thank you to quackity and the qsmp admins for this, and thank you to the streamers for hearing 'this is about connections' and taking it ENTIRELY to heart, and also thank you to whoever the fuck decided to give quackity's school class the job to look after a fucking egg to learn about parenting. bc holy shit. holy shit.

[uncanny-tranny]

Whenever people who are entrenched in diet culture talk about how terrible chemicals are, I just want to whip out this:

[beargregor]

Chef greg delivery just for you. it's a wonder I hadn't bearified him yet, he's my fave greg too 🔪

gays literally only want one thing (to be chopped up and eaten by a depressed man) and it's fucking disgusting

[katyspersonal]

me: I do not really understand the hardcore insistence of some Mohg fans/simps that he could not or must not have done any sexual-incestous crime! Not only it is a reasonable version, but also extremely interesting and intriguing to explore how not all victims of oppressive system are good people! Soulsborne is super fitting for fucked up themes and characters, any Mohg is valid and fun including the darkest you can get, right? Extremely messed-up interpretations of Mohg don't THREATEN other fans in any way shape or form!

fandom clowns: *passively-aggressively shun Mohg fans from the circles, attack Fromsoft for """homophobia""" (wtf), confuse acknowledging the event with enjoying the event, will label Mohg fans as insensitive or danger to real SO/incest victims, fear Mohg as an awful scary taboo to bring up in memes compilations or fanart that could obliterate all fun despite him being part of the canon, demand blacklisting anything about him in their clown Discord servers thus making lore chats weird, shame or block people with flattering interpretations for MeDiA iLiTeRaCy uwu, treat hating Mohg as a moral act rather than personal stance and generally cause a lot of hostility in the fandom, ALL because whereas seeing Mohg's SO as canon they then got mad at this canon instead of either swallowing it or move onto another videogame free of this theme*

me:

me: Nevermind, this fandom is chronically incapable of handling the dark themes and think the fandom owes them sanitised experience.

[kaiser1ns]

TAKIISHI CHIKA IN CHAPTER 153

[lennsart]

*Aggressively throws ravioli at you*

I feel like I’m trying to bribe or tempt people into the ship lol. But it’s so worth it

I am being

Ravioli'd D:

[total-drama-brainrot]

TD World Tour AU, where Noah doesn't tell Owen that Alejandro is an eel in London... In Area 51, Noah is accidentally splashed with an alien truth potion (which wears off after a few days) and he talks to Owen... Owen asks Noah what he truly thinks about Alejandro, and Truth-Potion Affected Noah says this: "I have mixed feelings for Alejandro. He's a brilliant, interesting guy and I like him, but I don't trust him. He's like a slippery eel dipped in grease, swimming in motor oil. Basically, Heather with social skills. Wait a minute, why am I telling you this?!"... What if Alejandro secretly heard Noah call him all those conflicting things + Alejandro also learns that Noah is affected with an alien truth potion? 👽

Alright, you got me. I'm an absolute sucker for truth potion plots, especially when the character(s) effected by them are usually either pathological liars or incredibly secretive- of which Noah absolutely falls into the second category, given he shares so little personal information.

I'll gloss over why Noah declined to shit-talk Alejandro in London (though there's so many ways this change in behaviour could be justified) since the focal point of this hypothetical centred around their time in Nevada, so let's start from the beginning of the Area 51 challenge.

Area 51:

Before we start, it'll have to be established that no one was eliminated in London. Let's say that the majority vote went towards Duncan (team CIRRRRH voted him out immediately because they found his re-admission to the competition unfair, I guess. I imagine he'd also vote himself, if not as a plan to escape the competition he'd been actively skiving from, then just as an act of spite) but Chris instead claimed it was a rewards challenge- much like he does in Greece- because he doesn't want to let Duncan slip away again so soon.

I see no reason to alter the first part of the challenge- the sneaking into Area 51 portion- since team CIRRRRH's course of entry is fairly straightforward. Noah's presence doesn't make much of a difference to how it would play out; the majority of them throw their rocks and run, Owen gets lasered over the fence and Owen-napped, ect ect.

When both teams have managed to make their way into the Black Box Warehouse, Noah immediately suggests they should prioritise rescuing Owen. Tyler's quick to agree, since he's a firm believer in the "no man left behind" mentality (and he probably makes a not-so-subtle jab towards Noah for his chance of tune compared to London, where both he and Owen did leave Tyler behind) leaving Duncan and Alejandro to split from the group- Duncan in search of Gwen, and Alejandro just takes the opportunity to finally be free from his 'incompetent teammates' and prioritises finding an artifact.

Noah and Tyler come across the contraption Owen's trapped in, Tyler punches it in a futile effort to break it open, and the face hugger cube drops into Noah's hands. This is where the point of divergence comes into play; Tyler has his E.T. moment with one of the face huggers, but Noah- who's a tad bit more observant than Alejandro, and used to dodging surprise attacks from his various older siblings (and Izzy)- anticipates his own face hugger attack and promptly starts a game of cat-and-mouse with a taser alien hot on his heels.

The commotion of which attracts the rest of his team. Alejandro and Duncan arrive on the scene to see Tyler being electrocuted by an alien and Noah running in circles evading another.

Duncan attempts to rip the face hugger from Tyler's face, finding success at the cost of sending Tyler trampling into Owen's captive contraption (essentially taking Alejandro's canonical place in this scene) and inadvertently freeing Owen.

Meanwhile, Alejandro swipes up the nearest box he can find and snags the alien chasing Noah, who's still very loudly panicking as he flees, and succeeds! The alien is swiftly captured into the box, netting team CIRRRRH their artifact, and Noah promptly goes careening into the nearest tower of junk in his face hugger-fuelled hysteria. This causes another box to topple from the peak of the tower, landing directly on Noah's head and spilling its contents onto the bookworm- glass vials filled with a mysterious, luminescent cobalt blue liquid shatter into pieces drenching Noah in whatever they contained. (i.e. truth potion.)

Owen has his false-amnesia moment, characterised by his Joker makeover, and Alejandro enacts his revenge post-hypnotic suggestion after being addressed as "Al" one too many times.

Noah, understandably, swiftly objects to Owen's treatment and demands that Alejandro snap him out of it. Alejandro concedes, and Owen's brought back to himself. At least, for a moment, before the fatigue of having his mind messed with sends Owen into near-catatonia (the same as canon), meaning he has to be ferried through the Warehouse and back to the Jet by Alejandro and Duncan.

Things carry on canonically from there; Noah's just sort of there for the most part, though there'd be a minor hint to his newfound proclivity for honesty. Something along the lines of him giving an uncharacteristically honest answer to Owen as to who he's voting- Tyler, of course, since he was the one who ultimately threw the challenge for them... and also because Tyler still holds some resentment towards Noah for what happened in London, and Noah feels guilty about it every time he looks at the jock. Wait, why did he say that?

Sometime between this and the elimination scene, Noah wipes the truth-goop off of himself, but not before the effects have already started.

Tyler's voted out, yada yada yada.

The Jet:

Thus begins the start of "Picnic at Hanging Dork". Team CIRRRRH, consisting of just Alejandro, Duncan, Owen and Noah, are slumming it up in the Economy Cabin. Alejandro tries to rally his team by asking how to break apart Courtney and Heather's tentative co-operation. Owen suggests having Alejandro seduce Heather, since it worked for both Bridgette and Leshawna. Duncan makes his "Babe Olympics" comment. Noah pipes up that playing with someone's feelings is pretty scummy, even for someone competing for a million dollars.

Alejandro takes Noah's reluctance towards his methodology poorly; he hadn't spoken up before, when Alejandro had utilized the same strategy against other girls- and even Owen noticed that, so surely Noah did too- so why was he to outwardly against him using the same tricks? Duncan agrees, and offers ''his'' idea of having Alejandro flirt with Courtney to throw both her and Heather off their games (since Heather has an obvious crush on Alejandro), and things follow canon.

Then, the scene between Alejandro and Courtney happens. Noah scoffs at the display from the side lines, prompting Owen to ask him why he's so against Alejandro's plan.

"I mean, you never said anything before, when he flirted with Bridgette and Leshawna." Owen comments, light-hearted in nature but with an underlying questioning tone.

Noah's eyes flicker with a cobalt glow, easily mistaken for a trick of the light, and he speaks without even thinking.

"Yeah, because I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Bridgette was happenstance, and Leshawna's whole deal could've been a coincidence, or some massive misunderstanding. But this?" Noah extends an accusing hand out towards a smug looking Alejandro, then pans it over to a flattered Courtney, "He's outright toying with Courtney's feelings after she was cheated on in front of an international audience. It's scummy."

Owen nods in understanding, momentary contemplation evident in the pouted curve of his lips, and he chimes in.

"Does that mean you don't like Al?"

"I never said that."

"Well, how do you feel about him, then?"

Again, a flash of blue light against the hickory backdrop of Noah's eyes, and he responds thoughtlessly.

"I guess I have mixed feelings about him. On the one hand, he's slippery, like an eel dipped in grease, swimming in motor oil. He's like if you took all of the worst aspects of Heather, wrapped them up in a pretty package, and gave them social skills..." He holds his hands out before him in a scale-like manner, with the left tipped downwards and tie right raised by his chin. Then, the two hands swap positions.

"And on the other hand, he's brilliant. I've never met anyone as talented as Alejandro; he's smart, he's athletic, he's funny. It's almost unfair just how perfect everything about him is- even his face is perfect. It's ridiculous! Infuriating, even. It's so hard to dislike him, even when I know he's bad news, but that doesn't mean I trust him."

Owen stands slack jawed beside his best friend, both impressed and stunned at the raw honesty of Noah's tirade. Noah, now a little more aware of himself, realises that he's said more than he intended to- more than he thinks he's ever spoken in one go throughout the entirety of Total Drama. He's not usually one for speeches, after all, let alone honest ones.

He's always been the type to play his cards close to his chest, so why...?

"I, uh, didn't mean to go off like that."

And he also didn't mean to admit it, either. What was going on?

The look Owen gives him is, in a word, vivid. The blonde has a shit-eating grin stretching across his face, a sort of elated smugness practically glowing from his features.

"Sounds like someone has a cruuuush!~"

What? No? No! Not at all, where would Owen even get that idea?!

Noah splutters to correct Owen's assumption (to disastrous results, because he does sort-of has a crush on Alejandro, so the truth potion doesn't allow him to outright deny it), and in his preoccupied state he misses how a calculating pair of sage green eyes never seems to stray from him.

Alejandro has a lot to think about in regards to a certain cynic, it seems.