#also the state of ohio looks stupid and i do Not respect it

[uncanny-tranny]

Whenever people who are entrenched in diet culture talk about how terrible chemicals are, I just want to whip out this:

[animeandcatholicism]

COOL FALLOUT IDEA

Make the midwest equivalent to Afghanistan. So, thing with the Fallout universe is that despite the ravages of war and what was supposed to be "ultimate destruction" in the form of the atomic annihilation, it wasn't and as such eventually a new form of civilization emerges from the ashes of the old which was already in decay.

It makes sense that the West coast would have a resurgence because of the population that exists, especially in California where a good chunk of capital was spent to simply preserve the state in its infrastructure and resources especially where the Enclave is concerned. It goes the same for the East Coast even if The Institute actively undermines the Commonwealth from uniting because they're stupid scientists but with the Minutemen, I could definitely see how it becomes a new NCR situation where a bunch of settlements all band together into something bigger and more capable and eventually rediscovers new tech, all they'd really have to do is expand Diamond City tbh. And the DC area by the time Broken Steel has concluded is securely in BoS hands especially since they have mended ties with the Outcasts and now control probably the two biggest resources in the area, clean water and advanced technology.

Now, with the midwest/great plains let's pretend all of that area is included is a great swath of farmland which is also pretty dang desolate, even by contemporary standards, so let's the furthest south would be Oklahoma, the furthest north is North Dakota and furthest east would be Ohio of all places. Anyways, as soon as you get out of Michigan there's just a lot less population, like if Chicago wasn't in Illinois then Illinois would be a red state nearly everytime IRL.

Now, the premise is that the NCR is connecting this rail line in order to "reunify and reestablish these United States of America. The problem is that after they get past eastern Colorado worker teams just get jumped and so they either are killed, captured or just go native. There is no real regional powerhouse in the region, at best it's a bunch of varying city/tribal states all vying for power in the region with really nothing binding them together except for a desire to persist and to maybe be a regional powerhouse. The most coveted items outside of finding a Vault and all that lies within it are monasteries. In the Prewar era, monasteries littered the countryside mainly because of the isolation from the rest of the world and even as the world went to heck they persisted as a source of free learning and knowledge but, it's also recognized that they need to have autonomy(on paper) from the powers that be in order to not incite a full scale riot/war in the region. Said monasteries also provide social services and education to the local tribals in the area and while not all believe in the faith, they respect it and so the Catholic faith survives.

Culturally there's two things going on, the first is that ethnic enclaves from the prewar era evolve into new and distinct identities, eg the Swedish, German, Irish, Italian enclaves that preserved their identities from the Old World have shifted into something akin to French Canadians on the more conservative end and on the more extreme they've just kinda had a shift from Etruscans to Romans. The other thing is that these are people who care less about what you look like and more what you can do, so mixed in with the regular humans there's ghouls (who some have even become abbots) and super mutants heading east and all of the various Enclave remnants trying to escape the NCR and BoS.

Speaking of the Enclave, they would be a faction in the region. Instead of trying to genocide all the tribals and "impure" in the region they would rather attempt to establish themselves as the hegemony in the region. They'd be led by a "civilian government" mainly scientists because the politicians failed them as did the military and they want to remain on top of the food chain as it were.

The Midwest Brotherhood of Steel has essentially gone native in the places that they were established so in essence more advanced tribes and warlords that have some more organized structure but, besides that they're really not a major powerhouse. Mainly because the Brotherhood never had a central location or leadership it was rather a loose confederation of men and women given advanced weapons to combat a foe.

While there are Vaults, they're more scattered and instead the caches for all the different bastions of civilization were at military installations, air fields, missile silos, prisons and all the other places. Like, Vaults do exist but, they're fairly rare all things considered. Also, wealthy farmers did build their own private shelters as with the prewar decades, they were able to buy huge swathes of land and establish huge plantations staffed with humans and Mr. Handy units. I mean, the food for the Vault Tec workers had to come somewhere and with Europe burning out before and international shipping going down the pipes it makes sense that the domestic market would boom as they warred with China and also established contingency plans as well. This also enabled these same families (who survived) to essentially establish fiefdoms after the bombs as well.

Again, the Midwest is the Afghanistan of the Post Great War USA just due to its vastness, lack of hubs of population and that it's so decentralized that annexing the area without a clear strategy to incrementally annex the area might not be possible, potentially it might just be a client state at best or just where the rail goes towards.

Railroads would be the NCR's primary concern in order to "civilize the wasteland" and also to simply improve the living conditions of the native however, the land becomes too hostile and the NCR simply does not have the resources to spend in order to mount full on military campaigns. So, in the end they make alliances and deals with the various tribes and towns that are willing to work with them and using the main bargaining chip of technology like GECKs and Vertibirds to a much more limited extenet.

Also, you could have some really cool monuments and locations like Mount Rushmore, the various airforce bases scattered throughout, missile silos on farms (like they did IRL) and so much more.

[sprnklersplashes]

jdronica+I kissed you in front of my ex (also on ao3)

The 7-Eleven is hardly much warmer than it is outside, but at least it’s drier. Veronica shakes the rain out of her hair as she steps in, shaking her head like a dog and sprinkling tiny droplets over the tiles. September announced its arrival in Sherwood with grey skies and bucket loads of rain, and three days in, the downpour shows no sign of stopping. It put a little bit of a damper to show up on the first day of her senior year soaking wet (pun intended because puns should always be intended), and there’s a growing sense of anxiety among students about whether or not the rain will let up in time for football practice to start.

But, where the rain might mess with first-day plans and be a pain for football fanatics, it’s the ideal weather for movie nights. The kind that involves piles of blankets, hot cocoa, and a combination of new releases and old favourites. The kind that, funnily enough, Veronica and Martha had planned for the weekend and scheduled when the sun was still out.

Maybe the weather was on their side.

“Okay, you grab the JiffyPop and drinks; I’ll raid the candy aisle,” Veronica instructs. “I’ll meet you at the counter.”

“Don’t go crazy on the candy,” Martha warns her. “Orange soda or blue?”

“Orange, and I will go completely crazy on the candy.” Martha raises her eyebrow, a fond shake of her head, but there’s little she can do when there’s a five-dollar bill burning in Veronica’s pocket. Veronica shoots little finger guns at Martha before bouncing down the candy aisle, taking stock of all the treats on offer.

She grabs a packet of Milk Duds because they go great with popcorn and a sharing bag of red vines too. She grabs a packet of the little watermelons (Martha’s personal favourite) and chuckles as she picks up a sharing bar of Hershey’s (private joke). She drops her candy stash into her basket and is in the middle of a debate between the packets of Sour Patch Kids and the packets of chips on sale when something, or rather someone, appears behind her.

“Want a Slurpee with that?”

She only jumps a tiny bit, and she’s glad because it doesn’t show how the stranger scared the pants off her. Mostly because she was lost in her head, but still, what was the asshole expecting, coming behind her like that? She turns around, her basket still on her arm, and she has an entire rant about convenience store etiquette ready, but it dies when she sees who it is.

Jason Dean, or as he prefers to be known, JD. New kids are something of a rarity in Sherwood, Ohio, which means he’s front-page news at school. Branded The New Kid, and he’ll probably still be that at graduation. People have done their best to Make Him Feel Welcome, as Ms. Fleming brightly suggested (demanded) they do, and despite some pleasantries, no one’s quite managed to get him to their lunch table. Most of the time, he’s alone, always with a different book. He’s gone from Baudelaire to Dickens to Orwell.

Not that she’s paying attention.

“Well, hello, Jason Dean.” She leans up against the counter and gestures to the cup in his hand. “Not my thing, but if you play your cards right, you can buy me a Big Gulp.”

“Blasphemy, little miss. Slurpee is the signature dish of the house. Did you say cherry or lime?”

“I said Big Gulp.” She lets the smile linger on her lips, feels it grow wider as he turns around. He laughs it off, and she takes note of the dimples in his cheeks, the way his hair falls forward into his eyes in a way that may or may not make her heart pick up.

“You’re Veronica, right?” he asks. “Veronica Sawyer.” He holds his free hand up. “Not stalking. I just sit two rows behind you in English.”

“I remember,” she replies. “Yes, it’s Veronica Sawyer.” She crosses her arms over her chest and chews thoughtfully on her lower lip. “So… may I ask what brings you to Sherwood, Ohio?”

His smile falters then, the spark dimming in his eyes, and his free hand slides into his pocket. She kicks herself immediately, her with her stupid attempts at flirting and her stupid nose poking into other people’s business. This is why she only sticks to Martha and occasionally Heather Mac, and if the universe wanted to remind her, it could have done it less painfully.

“Uh, new foster placement,” he tells her after a minute. “My old group home got too crowded, and it turns out the only other place that would take a teenager with insane daddy issues was all the way across the state.”

“Oh,” is all she can find to say, for all her teachers praising her for her brains. One word, one syllable. “Well, that’s….” Cool? Nice? Fun? Interesting? Nothing is appropriate here, no matter what direction she turns in.

But then Jason Dean taps her arm, wearing a smile that’s equal parts charming and apologetic, and the smoke in her brain begins to clear.

“Sorry, I probably should’ve been a bit more tactful there,” he says. “I know it’s a bit of a wild thing to drop on someone. My tragic hero backstory and all that.”

“Well, if it means you end up leading a life of crime-fighting and protecting our town, it all works out.”

“Maybe. Not sure if I can pull off the tights and leotard.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ve got the legs for it,” she replies, and when he bursts out laughing, so does she. It feels weird, almost familiar. Like she’s known him for far longer than three days. She shuffles closer to him, pulled forward by her curiosity.

He eyes her basket and opens his mouth to say something else, but then the little bell rings at the shop door, and Veronica lets out a soft curse when she sees who it is.

What exactly her ex-girlfriend is doing at the 7-Eleven, she can’t fathom. This was on her list of places she could most definitely keep going to regularly after they broke up, and that list is depressingly small. This is meant to be the part of town Heather Duke, or any of the Heathers don’t grace with their presence, not even Macnamara. If they divided up the assets after breaking up last month, the 7-Eleven was definitely in her pile.

Or maybe not, she thinks as she watches Heather cross the floor in her heels, loose change in her hand.

The universe just will not let her be.

Duke notices her after she does, dark eyes widening at the sight of her. Veronica’s at a loss for what to do, whether to wave at her, flip her off, or just ignore her completely. She needs to think of something soon because Heather is moving closer towards her, and the last thing she needs is a not-so-subtle reminder of how she’s doing so much better than she is.

Her brain turns off, her body going into autopilot.

Instinct says to grab the closest thing to her, and the closest thing happens to be JD.

She whispers, “I’m sorry,” just loud enough so he can hear a second before her lips touch his, and by that point, she can’t exactly back out.

She doesn’t know what’s crazier; her kissing JD or the fact he kisses her back.

His hand is flat against her back, his other one cupping her cheek. She doesn’t know how experienced he is in these matters, but damn, he’s not bad. She’d even call him good. Maybe great. He tilts his head slightly but still lets her keep control, and his lips are soft and slightly cold from the Slurpee. It’s just slow enough to make it interesting, and he doesn’t pull away when she kisses him again.

When she does pull away, Heather is far past them, her pace too quick to be calm, and Veronica smugly counts it as a victory.

That is until she realises her hands are still balled up in JD’s shirt.

“I am… so sorry,” she begins. “I just… I know I shouldn’t have, but I just needed to do something to-”

“Woah, woah, woah, Ronnie,” he says. She only blushes slightly at the nickname. “Just answer me one question.” She nods, words catching in her throat, and he points up to where Heather is. “Ex?”

“Yup,” is her meek response, and to her shock, he laughs.

“Okay, Veronica Sawyer,” he tells her. “No hard feelings.” She untangles herself from him and retrieves her basket from where she dropped it on the floor. She looks behind and finds his Slurpee sitting on the shelf, standing out amongst the candies.

She’s tempted by the Slurpee offer, after all. She needs something to stop her cheeks from burning.

“I should go,” she says. “My friend, she’ll be wondering where I am.” She backs up, her eyes unable to leave his grinning face. “Um, thank you very much. For being so understanding about… that. All of that. Uh, see you around maybe. Yeah.”

She manages to turn herself around and takes the opportunity to stop hiding and let out a silent scream. She moves to go, to run and pay for her candy, and start plan to avoid him as much as humanly possible-or change her name and flee the state, that could work-but then he calls after her, and she stops in her tracks,

“Hey!” he says. She turns to face him again, and while he keeps a respectable distance, she can still see the smile on his face, all soft angles and laugh lines, and the telltale butterflies begin in her stomach.

“You’re busy this weekend,” he says. “What about next?”

That’s the story of Veronica Sawyer and Jason Dean’s first kiss.

For those who want to know, their second involves her pinning up against the wall of a McDonald’s bathroom and him breathlessly whispering her name against her lips.

[notyourdayrdream]

Summer’s Almost Over (So Come Spend it with Me)

Day Five, Side A: Austere

read it here on AO3

A/N: brief mention of Kurt being kissed without consent in season two of Glee

(also! for this two shot: Kurt and Blaine met at Dalton, but never dated.)

“What if we went to Coney Island Saturday?” Brittany exclaimed at their weekly potluck, completely out of the blue. Nobody had even mentioned the theme park. Though, to be fair, nobody begins half of the conversations Brittany throws them in.

For some reason, everyone agreed, even Rachel. She said taking a break from the hustle of Broadway was exactly what she needed to be ready to continue her role as Fanny on Monday.

Outvoted, Kurt reluctantly sat between Blaine and Sam on the subway ride to Coney Island, legs shaking the entire time. It wasn’t that he hated carnivals. It was the opposite, actually. When he was younger, his mom and dad took him to the Ohio state carnival. It’s one of the last memories he can fully remember of her, her long blonde hair braided back as she threw a plastic ball at a stack of milk cans. Anything for her kid, especially one who desperately wanted an oversized dragon plushie.

No, he’s nervous because he has a date at eight.

Kurt met Oliver at a coffeehouse near the Vogue office, he was the barista who served him his drink. Oliver’s number was scribbled on the receipt. It was all very cute, and his friends agreed when he told them the story.

They texted back and forth a week before Oliver asked him out. Kurt happily agreed, hoping for a calm day before getting dressed and heading out to a fancy dinner. Now though, he won’t even have enough time to shower the smell of hotdogs off his body and be on time.

So Kurt’s scrolling through Oliver’s Instagram (not at all like a creep,) when Artie pats his shoulder. “There they are,” he points ahead as the rest of his friends stumble to them, chatting animatedly about the rollercoaster they just went on.

“You know, when you said ‘let’s go on a ride,’ I didn’t think you meant the one with a huge drop,” Rachel says, gripping Santana’s arm so hard it might fall off. Her hair is wind whipped and messy.

“C’mon Rach, you could’ve sat with Kurt and Artie if you wanted,” Mercedes says from behind her, arms wrapped around Sam’s waist.

“Did you guys have fun?” Kurt asks from the bench, carefully closing the app so he doesn’t accidentally like an old photo. “Rachel looks like she just died.” This is why he didn’t go on the ride.

Blaine sits beside him on the bench, his eyes gleaming with a sort of childlike wonder. He’s a total adrenaline junkie. “It was amazing, she’s overreacting,” he whispers not-too-discreetly. Kurt giggles.

“Let’s split up,” Santana suggests. “I wanna go on another coaster, and the park closes at six. We can grab dinner after?”

“Unless you’re Sam and Brittany, who already ate,” Artie chides. His camera rests on his lap, storage filled with videos and photos of their trip.

“Hey! Cotton candy is not one of the five food groups!” Brittany sticks out a blue tongue at him, Sam does the same. Their respective partners laugh.

“I have to leave soon,” Kurt reminds the group, checking his phone another time. Five thirty-two.

“Wait, never mind guys,” Santana alerts, appearing to be suddenly anxious. “Kurt has to get his brains fucked out at eight, so we can’t have dinner.” Both Blaine and Kurt wince.

“Too far, San.” Mercedes cringes as her and Sam make their way down the boardwalk steps and to the beach. The others shake their heads in similar disgust before going their separate ways. Rachel pushes Artie to the outdoor arcade with plans to win a bagged goldfish. Brittany pulls her girlfriend by a sticky hand to the older wooden coaster.

“So…” Blaine knocks his shoulder as they walk down the boardwalk. The gel has completely left his hair throughout the course of the day, curls hanging just above his eyebrows. “Whatcha wanna do?” Kurt spies him eyeing the Wonder Wheel beside him.

He shakes his head, not waiting for the question. “No.”

“Please?” Blaine pleaded. “You haven’t been on anything this whole time.” He sidesteps a tiny toddler crying over a fallen ice cream cone.

“I didn’t want Artie to feel alone!” Kurt defends himself. Which was true, most of the coasters weren’t accessible for him, so they spent the time bonding over the grossness of carnival food and looking at footage from the day.

“We’ll Artie isn’t here now,” Blaine replies, voice dropping an octave. “So come on the ferris wheel with me.” He bats his eyelashes for extra effect. Kurt’s stomach swoops.

Blaine has a way of doing that to him. In their near five year friendship, he’s made Kurt’s stomach tie up in knots more times than he can count. He won’t deny he used to have a crush on him in high school; he was preppy and chivalrous and oh so cute in his bow ties and blazers.

Kurt pinches the bridge of his nose. “Fine,” he sighs. Blaine cheers next to him, mumbling ‘thankyouthankyouthankyou’ in the same deep voice that makes the blood rush to Kurt’s face.

Okay, maybe the crush wasn’t entirely dead. But it’s completely normal to have crushes on your friends. Friendly crushes.

Since the park is soon to close, the lines weren’t too long anymore. Kurt and Blaine move up first in line after only five minutes.

The ride operator turns to them. Her hair is bordering on orange. “You guys want an outside or inside car?” Her voice has no expression, and she looks two more button presses from quitting her job.

“Outside.” Kurt and Blaine say at the same time, followed by a quiet laugh.

She eyes them. “Alright.” She presses another button, and the outer ring of ferris wheel carts rotate downwards until an empty one comes to the bottom. “Enjoy the ride.”

Blaine and Kurt slide into the seat, sitting on opposite sides of the enclosure. The ride jerks forward and up, until they’re halfway around the ride. “Are you okay? Your face is really pale.” Blaine asks, eyebrows knitting together in concern.

“Mm-hmm,” Kurt squeaks, closing his eyes to avoid looking down. Even though the car is supposed to be stationary, it rocks just a little as it moves up and down to complete its first circle.

Blaine thinks for a moment before saying quietly, “You’re afraid of heights?” He jumps a little in his seat, and the car rocks with it. Kurt’s stomach drops.

“I am!” he snaps, opening his eyes. “Stop moving so much.” The city is lit up around them, the sound of cheers from the rollercoaster whizzing by below him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Blaine stills himself. “I wouldn’t have made you go on if you had told me, Kurt!” He looks so worried that Kurt feels bad for even mentioning his fear. It’s completely irrational anyway, he doesn't even have a reason to be so scared. It’s just the fact he believes no human needs to be up one hundred fifty feet high.

“It’s okay, I’m okay,” he tries to console Blaine (and himself). “It’ll be over in what, three more minutes?” He can last three more minutes. Hell, he’s lasted an hour listening to Rachel and Santana argue.

And then the ride stops. At the very top.

It takes a minute for the two of them to realize this isn’t supposed to happen. “Why’d it stop.” Kurt says. His body feels like it might melt onto the floor. “Oh my god, no.”

“We’re stuck.” Blaine groans, which, thanks Captain Obvious! Those two words are confirmation that this is actually the absolute worst day ever. “I’ll call someone.”

Rachel’s ringtone beats him to it.

Kurt can’t hear much of the conversation, but from the looks Blaine throws his way, he knows it isn’t good. He cracks his knuckles as a way to distract himself from the slight sway of the cart. Passerbys the size of ants point and look up at the malfunctioned ride.

Blaine clicks the end call button. “Okay, good news first, ” he begins, pocketing his phone. “Rachel and Artie talked to the operators, and they’re working on fixing the ride.”

“Bad news?” Kurt presses. Blaine likes to do that thing where he gives good news then bad news, but the latter is always so bad the good news pales in comparison. He’s done that ever since they met. It’s silly, but it’s Blaine, so Kurt loves it.

“Bad news is that it might take thirty minutes, maybe forty-five.” Blaine cringes from the other side of the cart, waiting for Kurt’s outburst.

“No.” Kurt snatches his phone out of his pocket. “No, no, no, this can’t be happening!” He feels tears prick at the back of his eyes. He’s gonna be late. “I’m gonna miss my date!” He groans, and yeah it may be a little over dramatic, but he hasn’t been on a date with someone in months. He was really excited.

Expecting sympathy from Blaine, he glanced over at him. He’s glaring right back at him. “What?”

“Is that really what you’re worried about right now?” Blaine says abruptly. “God forbid you miss your date.” He rolls his eyes with more venom Kurt’s seen in him ever. It freaks him out and angers him at the same time.

“Okay, what’s your problem?” He retorts, eyes narrowing. Blaine shrinks back a little at the stare, but doesn’t stop glowering.

“You’ve been going on about this stupid guy the whole day, complaining about how you have to go home, I’m so sick of it!” Blaine continues. His voice grows louder by the end.

“He’s not stupid, okay?” Kurt doesn’t know why he feels like he has to defend Oliver, but he does anyway. “And you’re the main one who wanted me to go out with him!” This whole situation is confusing him.

Blaine huffs indignantly and crosses his arms. “Maybe I don’t want you to anymore!”

“Why not?” Kurt presses. He’s never seen his best friend act like this. He almost seems jealous.

“Because I like you!” Blaine cries, eyes wet. “Jesus, couldn’t you tell?” His face is red now, flushed up to his neck.

Kurt flinches. “Please stop yelling.”

“I’m sorry.” Blaine immediately backs down, curling into himself. “I like you, Kurt. I’m sorry if that freaks you out, but I do.”

The sun is starting to set now, casting what feels like the entire world in an orange haze. The ocean to the right of them glimmers, couples walked in tandem along the shore. To the left, the skyline of Brooklyn appears austere and somber from so high up.

“How long?” Kurt says finally, eyes settling on the horizon and the rolling waves.

“How long what?”

“How long have you liked me?” He doesn’t know if he wants the answer.

There’s a pause until Blaine eventually murmurs, “Five years.”

Kurt’s heart drops. “Blaine.” Why didn’t he say anything? Oh god, this is horrible.

“I just, I didn’t wanna ruin our friendship by admitting anything,” Blaine explains, rubbing the nape of his neck. “It’s a lame excuse. But—yeah.” And he resides back into silence.

It is a lame excuse, Kurt thinks. Of course it wouldn’t have ruined anything. He had a crush on his stepbrother, for Christ’s sake. “So why did you want me to go out with Oliver so bad?”

“I thought, maybe, if you started dating someone I could get over you,” he laughs to himself. “That obviously didn’t work.”

Kurt just stares at him for a moment until he makes up his mind. “I’m coming over there.”

Blaine jerks out of his thoughts. “N-no, don’t come any closer,” he stammers. “You’ll mess up the balance of the car.” He looks terrified. Kurt can’t decide if it’s sad or adorable.

He rolls his eyes. “I won’t mess up the balance of anything.” Kurt stands slowly, holding his arms out to his sides. He takes the three steps to Blaine’s side of the car quickly to get it over with, shaking the seats. When he falls into the seat, Blaine steadies him by the waist. The touch shocks both of them, and he snatches his arm back.

They sit shoulder to shoulder, neither of them daring to move. It’s what feels like hours before Kurt takes a deep breath and gathers his thoughts. “Do you remember when we first met? And I was having trouble with Karofsky? You texted me a single word. Courage.” He turns to the side. Blaine looks absolutely disheveled, sweating and curls getting frizzier by the minute. Weirdly, he looks gorgeous.

Blaine snorts. “Yeah, that word got you sexually assaulted.”

“No,” Kurt shakes his head, choosing to ignore the way his heart stops from the words. “That word saved me. You saved me, Blaine.” He would’ve never stood up for himself without that text. It got him through McKinley and Dalton and NYADA to this day.

“I’m always going to care about you. And I’m sorry I don’t… like you the way you like me. But I used to,” Kurt admits, now nervous like must’ve been. That secret was supposed to go to the grave. “And maybe I can again.”

Blaine meets his gaze, an emotion Kurt can’t quite place swirling around his eyes. “Okay.” He smiles, and though it is wavering, it’s also hopeful.

There’s a jolt, and the wheel starts turning again. It’s dark now, the sun fully disappeared below the horizon. The sky is a mix of purple and black and blue, a bruise painted among the stars. Kurt hears cheers from the other cars as they reach the ground below. “Okay.”

[norequestimagines]

Safeguard [Pt. 2]

TW: domestic violence, smut

Thank you all for all the love on part one! Please go easy on me here, it’s my first time writing smut of any kind and it’s not very detailed. I tried lmao I hope y’all enjoy!

Josh helped my shaky body into the front seat of his truck before running around and getting in on the other side. The drive was quiet. I just didn’t know what to say. Being in his truck again felt like home and so uncomfortable simultaneously. There was so much left unsaid between us after the breakup, and now that such an emotional bomb had gone off, I just felt… overwhelmed. 

“Hey, me again. I’m not mad or anything, Josh, I just want to make sure you’re okay. You said you’d be home at 7; it’s 9 now and I haven’t heard a thing from you or any of the guys… Kinda starting to freak out, here. I love you, okay? I hope you’re home soon.” 

I’d texted him three times, called twice, and left one voicemail. Josh was forgetful, sure, but he wasn’t one to leave me waiting up with no explanation. He always shot me a quick “heading out with Seth and Boone, be home late!” text or at the very least had one of his buddies let me know, in the event his phone died or he left it at the arena. He’s never left me hanging like this before, and especially not on a night like tonight; our three year anniversary. 

We’d agreed to do something low key this year. The past two years had been big nights out but both of us had been so busy with work we just wanted to take some time for a night in. I’d ordered food from our favorite restaurant and made sure the house had a relaxing, romantic but low key ambiance to it. Way too much time was spent perfecting my hair into beach waves. My outfit was simple; distressed skinny jeans and a chunky white cardigan. He’d said more than once that even though I looked incredible in a gown for his charity events and award ceremonies, that his favorite thing to see me in was an outfit like this, because it’s what he wants to come home to for the rest of his life. I just wish he’d come home now. 

As I began to pack the food away, too sick with worry to eat any of it, my anxious mind began to wander. I started to put everything in the fridge and imagined all the terrible things that could’ve happened. What if he got into a car accident? Or he forgot to tell me he was going out with the guys and got into a bar fight and got arrested? What if he just completely forgot about tonight altogether? No, Josh would never forget our anniversary. But if he didn’t forget, he must be in jail or the hospital. 

Attempting (and failing) to keep myself too busy to worry, I was folding laundry when I heard a door open and shut. 

“Josh?!” I leapt out of my seat and ran to the living room where my boyfriend (who appeared safe and healthy and un-incarcerated) stood, hanging his jacket on the coat rack. 

“Hey.” he muttered, not even looking up to face me. 

I furrowed my brows, confused by the way he was acting. He was like this after a bad game sometimes but they didn’t have a game at all today. “Are you okay? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you; you had me worried, honey.”

“M’fine. Gonna go take a shower.” He trudged up the stairs and I figured it best to give him some space before prying. 

Once I heard the shower shut off, I made my way upstairs to try to unpack whatever was weighing him down. He was sitting on his side of the bed in a pair of sweats, facing our bedroom window with his head held in his hands.

“You want to talk about it?” I asked, my voice just above a whisper.

“No.” 

I wasn’t really sure where to go from here. Josh was never this cold with me. I slowly made my way to the bed, crawling to sit behind him before wrapping both my legs and arms around his middle. 

“Where were you, baby? I was so worried.”

“Can I just have ten god damn minutes?!” He stood and held his hands up, clearly frustrated. With what, I didn’t know. 

“I… Josh, I didn’t mean to…” I was at a loss. We’d gotten annoyed with each other, sure. What couple didn’t have arguments? But in the three years we’d been together, he’d never raised his voice at me. “It’s just, we made plans for tonight, and when you didn’t show up, I thought something had happened to you. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“Yeah, Kara, I couldn’t really care less right now about our stupid plans, alright? I know I skipped out on our anniversary. But maybe I wouldn’t have if you hadn’t cheated on me.”

I could do nothing but stare at him doe-eyed. It had never crossed my mind since meeting Josh to even look at another man, let alone do anything with one. I loved him so much I wasn’t sure I could ever be with anyone else again. 

“Josh, what are you talking about?” I whimpered, tears already forming in my eyes. 

“Don’t play fucking stupid. You got caught, alright? Just own up to it.” He looked at me like I was gum on the bottom of his shoe.

“I didn’t get caught because I didn’t do anything!”

“Oh, yeah? The explain Riley.”

Riley. That name automatically sent me to a dark place.

Riley and I met in high school. He ran with the popular crowd, I guess, but it’s not like he was captain of the football team or anything. He was just well liked. Funny and smart and kind to everyone, regardless of their popularity. We started talking when we were paired up during a project for art class. He was sweet; would always carry my books and walk me to class, sometimes even surprising me with a coffee or flowers at my locker in the morning. But, all that glitters isn’t always gold. 

After we went to junior prom together, Riley and I began to get more serious. Over the summer, he’d convinced me to write off all of my friends because he just loved spending time with me so much, he wanted to spend it all with me. I quit the dance team because the form fitting costumes we wore made Riley uncomfortable. For a long time, found it endearing he cared so much. Until we left for college.

We both went to Ohio State and during sophomore year, we rented our first house together. That’s when things with Riley started turning really sour. I was expected to text Riley all day, every day, whether I was in a lecture, trying to take notes, or at work, trying to wait tables. My friends all had to be female, and if we ever went out, Riley had to come with, and had to approve my outfits before I was allowed to leave the house. One night, a guy from my chemistry class asked if he could come over to copy my notes from a day of class he missed. That was the first time Riley hit me. 

It only got worse from there. He’d come to my work, ordering drinks all night from across the restaurant while watching me. When I talked too kindly with a customer, I’d get punished. If I sat next to a male in class or stood too close to a male at a football game, I’d get punished. He stayed clear of my face and arms, but my ribs and legs were constantly littered with bruises from where he’d hit and kicked me.

I deserved it. Riley convinced me of that. I didn’t love him enough and this was my punishment. 

I didn’t seek help, myself. One night, Riley got sloppy and hit me across the face, resulting in a black eye. I covered as best I could with makeup the next morning before class but the guy from chemistry noticed. He’d text me during class for weeks, asking if I was okay, and if I needed help. Two weeks after the black eye, when Riley broke two of my ribs with his steel toed boots. The next morning, after Riley had left for work, I texted the guy from chem. “I need help.”

His mom had been a survivor of domestic abuse. She worked for the state now and gave me all the help I needed to get away from Riley. He was sent to jail for a while, and I went to therapy for years, trying to understand that this wasn’t my fault and I didn’t deserve it. I now had a restraining order against him and he hadn’t bothered me in years. 

“Riley?! How do you even know that name?! Josh, I don’t know what the fuck is going on but I swear on my life I have never cheated on you!”

He scoffed, pulling up instagram on his phone. “Swear on this.” He threw his phone next to me on the bed.

I picked up the phone with shaking hands. 

I saw Riley’s instagram account. There were pictures of him at work or with his family, but I also saw pictures of the two of us taken in college being posted as if they were taken now. Me sitting across from him in coffee shops and us holding hands in the streets of downtown Columbus. Captions reading, “if only you knew how much i loved you” and “can’t wait to see her again”. Tears began pouring freely down my face. 

“Josh, no. No, no, no, you don’t understand. This isn’t… He’s-”

“Just fuckin’ let it go, Kara. I found you out.” He snatched his phone out of my hands. “Some fan DM’d me his page and he and I had a nice, lengthy chat about the two of you. I can work through a lot of shit, Kar, but this?! I can’t move past this. I’m done. I’ll find somewhere else to stay for the night. Try not to be here when I get back.”

Before I could even process what had just happened, he was out of the room, slamming the door behind him hard enough to shake the walls. I heard his truck start up and drive away. 

I curled up in a ball and cried until I ran out of tears. I knew better than to try and call or text Josh. He needed to cool off and I needed to respect his space. I wrote him a letter before anything else, explaining my side of things. How Riley and I met and what he did to me. How I had a restraining order against him. How much I hated him and didn’t understand why he was doing this. I was so emotional while writing it, I can hardly remember what it said. I remember crying while writing it, my tears smudging the ink. After I’d gotten everything written down, I folded it up and slid it into an envelope, lying it on top of his pillow. He could read it whenever he was ready and that was the best I could do. Then, I packed a bag, called Boone, and hadn’t seen or heard from Josh since. Just like that. 

Riley had sent me a DM after the incident, asking if he could meet me for coffee so we could talk things over. He had orchestrated this entire thing in an effort to get Josh away from me. It was a breach of the restraining order, but I didn’t want to stir things up. I just wanted the entire mess to go away. I ignored the message and a week later, he showed up at my work. I went into a full panic attack and called the police. He was in custody and I was pressing charges. I just wished I wasn’t going through it alone. I wanted Josh to be there, to stand behind me and quiet my mind when it got too loud. But he was nowhere to be found.

He never called. He never texted. I had no idea if he’d even read the letter or not. Boone said Josh refused to talk about anything having to do with me whatsoever. I wasn’t sure if that was good or bad But it’d been two months of me moping around and being afraid of my own shadow, so when Boone begged me to go out, I agreed. I needed to feel something. 

Lost in my memories, I hadn’t noticed the route we had taken. We were across town from my new apartment. We were at our place. Well, Josh’s place. 

“What are we-”

“I just… figured you wouldn’t want to be alone tonight. That’s all.” He twiddled his thumbs against the steering wheel and bit his lip. 

“Thank you.” 

His eyes flashed to me quickly and widened. I assume he was expecting me to ask him to take me home, but as much as I hated to admit it, he was right. I had no interest in being alone right now.

Everything in the house was exactly the same. It’d been two months and he hadn’t even moved my scarf from the coat rack. Pictures of us still sat upon shelves. Even the Christmas decorations we’d put up together remained on the walls. 

“You should take a shower, uh, clear your head. I’ll take the guest room.”

“You don’t have to do that, Josh. I can shower down here and take the guest room. You’ve already done more for me tonight than I could ever ask for.”

“Kara, please, just… just take our room, alright? I mean, my room. Or, uh... “ His hand moved to run through his hair and scratch the back of his neck, a nervous habit he’s had since we met. 

An uncomfortable silence came upon us and I wanted to leave the area as quickly as I could.

“I’ll uh, I’ll take your bed.” Carefully, I walked upstairs as if the ground was made of glass. 

I stood under scalding hot water for an hour after scrubbing every inch of my body, making sure to get every microbe from that creep off of me. Josh hadn’t even moved my soap, but craving familiarity and comfort, I opted to use his instead. The scent of cedar filled my nostrils, momentarily making me forget that ash tray scented prick from earlier. 

Stepping out of the shower, I wrapped a towel around myself before noticing a few folded pieces of clothing on the counter that weren’t there when I got in. Sitting on top of them was a scratch piece of paper.

Closest I have to anything of yours. -J.

He left a pair of black sweats and a massive Columbus Blue Jays shirt. My favorite one that I’d stolen on more occasions that I could count. I smiled to myself before slipping his shirt on and leaving the sweats on the counter. 

Being back in the bed felt odd. I was relatively used to sleeping in it alone from Josh going on road trips, but this was different. We’d never slept separately while in the same house before. Not even after a fight. We’d always curl up back to back and halfway through the night, he’d wrap around me, apologizing before kissing my neck and falling asleep. Couldn’t do that from downstairs, now could he? And of course, my mind ran a mile a minute, thinking of everything that could’ve happened tonight if Josh hadn’t been there. If he’d still been sick or knew I was going and wanted to avoid me. My restless body found itself tip-toeing down the stairs. 

Raising my hand to knock on the guest room door, it opened before my knuckles could come into contact with it. His blue eyes widened at the sight of me. “I was just heading up to check on you.”

“I can’t um… C-can I sleep with you? I mean, just, I’m so jumpy and every little noise is- you know what? This is stupid, I’m sorry.” I scoffed and turned to head back upstairs. 

“It’s not stupid Kar, you went through some crazy shit. C’mere.”

We laid next to each other in silence. As weird as it was to be in our old bed without him, this was even more uncomfortable. 

“Are you okay? I mean, I know what he did was fucked up but he didn’t physically hurt you, did he?”

“No, no, you uh, you came in time. I’m okay.”

“Good.”

Another minute or two passed and my mind began to wander again.

“Josh, if you hadn’t been there…”

“Hey, come on, you can’t think like that. I was there, and you’re okay. That’s all that matters.”

I looked over at him in the moonlight and took a sharp intake of breath. I just couldn’t stop replaying it in my head. 

“Oh, Kara, honey.” I was pulled into his chest and began taking deep breaths, willing myself to keep it together. “I told you I’d always be here for you and I meant it, alright? Nothing is ever going to happen to you.”

I lifted my head, my sight flickering between his eyes and his lips. Inching forward, I swallowed nervously, afraid of rejection. Instead, Josh gently brushed a strand of damp hair behind my ear and slowly pulled me up to meet him.

The instant our lips touched, I felt fireworks in my stomach and moaned at the contact. I missed him so much. The kiss grew quickly, two months of not even speaking to each other catching up with us quickly. It turned from slow and hesitant to heated and passionate quickly. I began to run my hand down his clothed chest, pushing hands underneath his shirt and lifting it slightly. 

“Kara, wait-” 

“Please.” I whimpered. “I don’t want him to be the last man who’s touched me.”  I kissed him gently, bumping his nose with mine. “Please make me feel safe, Josh.”

He hesitated for a moment but claiming my lips again with his. Slowly, he used one hand to lift the shirt from my body, tossing it into the darkness while moving to lie me on my back and hover above me, one forearm resting next to my head, the other hand cradling my neck. He looked my body up and down and kissed just below my ear. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Kara.” Josh muttered, continuing my assault on my neck and decolletage before making his way back up to sweep his tongue into my mouth. He was always gentle with me but never as gentle as this. Tonight, he handled me as if I were made of glass. Like if he made one wrong move, I’d shatter. And maybe I would. 

He sat up on his knees for a moment to remove his own shirt before settling back down on top of me. His massive body sat on mine as if some kind of weighted blanket, shielding me from the world. As he kissed me, he moved his body along with mine. I could feel his erection growing against my hip and I moaned at the thought of it. My hands made their way down his body and onto his waistband, pushing on his sweats. 

One of his hands halted mine. “Kar, are you sure? I just want to be here for you. We don’t have to do this.”

“I want this, Josh. I want you.” 

His sweats met the floor and his length stood at full attention. I moved a hand to stroke it but he caught my wrist, guiding it to his mouth and kissing my knuckles, “Baby,” my bicep, “this is about you.” my shoulder, “Let me take care of you.”

We locked eyes as slowly pulled my lacy boyshorts down my legs. He kissed, licked, and sucked his way back up my legs, only letting his tongue dip into my heat twice before continuing to kiss up my body. Once he was back up at eye level, I felt his thick fingers carefully moving about around my entrance.

“Josh, please, just… please make love to me.”

His eyes widened but he said nothing, instead using the same hand to pull one of my legs around his hip. He looked down momentarily, lining himself up before thrusting his shaft into me. We moaned together at the feeling. I’d almost forgotten how good we felt together. 

Josh moved slowly, taking his time and being sure to stay close to me. My leg stayed planted atop his hip as he sank to rest his weight on me ever so carefully. When my eyes weren’t shut tight in pleasure, they wandered over him. The furrow of his brow, his button nose that sat above his plump lips. I watched his biceps and abs contract with every movement he made. It didn’t take long for the pressure to build in my center and I began whimpering and moaning his name. 

“Mm, I can’t… Josh, I’m-”

“I know, sweetheart, I’m right there with you.” He buried his head in my neck, gently nipping my earlobe. “Let go, baby. Let me feel you.” He moved his hands down again and circled my clit with them, sending me over the edge. 

“Oh, my god. Oh, my… Ah!” My hands gripped tightly to his biceps as they flexed next to me. I came breathlessly. I saw stars and all I could hear was Josh panting above me as he continued to thrust into me. I felt him bite my shoulder and finally cum inside me with a strangled, “Fuck, I love you.”

He moved to the side slightly, just enough to grab the blanket and pull it over us. I turned on my side. It was only a moment before I felt Josh’s arm wrap around my waist and hold my body tight to his.

“Josh?” I whispered, afraid to ruin this moment.

“I promise we can talk about this is the morning, sweetheart. Please just let me hold you tonight.” He sounded tired. I complied with his request, wrapping my hand around the forearm resting against my stomach, and it wasn’t long before my eyes grew too heavy to keep open any longer.

[umbramatic]

Worldbuilding June 2019 Episode 30: Season Finale - Characters

30. Who’s important in your world?

(As mentioned earlier, swapped with #28 for a better final prompt.)

TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE CHARACTERS. Some of these have been alluded to in previous updates, some of them not, but I'm gonna talk about everyone major I've figured out so far.

Eris

(by @scarletify !)

Eris is a warlock that serves the Midnight Lady and is one of the protagonists of our little tale. Born and raised in the Night Forests of what was once Ohio, she set out to learn more about the world and through a series of incidents encountered the Midnight Lady herself. Things happened and Eris set out on a journey at the Midnight Lady's request, helping people in need and thwarting evildoers.

Then she found Riley and everything was thrown off the rails.

Eris' Dog

Black standard poodle. Good boy. Helps Eris in her adventures. May have magical powers in his own right.

Riley

(by @daydreart !)

Riley was just an ordinary enby in an ordinary world like ours... Until one day they got hit by a truck (yes, now this is an isekai it needs Truck-kun) and woke up in the Midnightverse with strange shapeshifting powers, much to the confusion of both Eris and themselves. Riley has three, Digimon-esqe forms - one default form that resembles their former human self but with red eyes and teal hair, ears and tail, a more monstrous form that they take when their power is maxed out, and a small "mascot" form they take when their power is recharging. Riley is snarky and abrasive to cover up how much this world and their situation kind of scares them, but they also are a huge nerd and love telling stories of their world's fiction to the natives whenever they can.

Lawrence

A fire Valfrizen mage. Somehow good with every element but fire, which he finds embarrassing. He once fought the monster kitsune Raiden only to unwittingly wind up dating him. Stern and takes himself and everything around him seriously... Most of the time.

Raiden/Credence/Creda

Kitsune and amnesiac former evil overlord that's currently dating one of his former enemies. Has great skill with lightning magic. Was once cruel and nasty but post-amnesia has grown kinder and more playful. He and Lawrence still don't know the truth.

Torque

Mischevious tanuki dude. Laid back, relaxed. Good with shapeshifting magic even beyond what his species is normally capable of. Likes to mess with the protagonists.

Tressa

(by @linedthegap !)

Peppy mermaid girl who wanders the oceans looking for ADVENTURE. Is good friends with Lophos.

Lophos

(By belphekit on toyhou.se!)

Edgy deep-sea mermaid who is secretly a huge softie. Is good friends with Tressa.

Jun Koumori

Edgy chirotan man who thinks he's a Donte/Shadow The Hedgehog/Kirito-esqe protagonist. Unsurprisingly actually a huge dweeb. Crosses paths with the protagonists often, usually embarrassingly.

Linde

(By ShadowArcher97 on toyhou.se!)

Linde is a kemtralan traveller with a snow leopard lower body. She searches for valuables from both the current world and the Old World to add to her collection. Perky, but prefers to get the job done.

The Midnight Lady

(by @solarespeon !)

One of the central figures of the setting, the Midnight Lady is one of the most powerful, respected, and feared members of the pantheon, being the goddess of darkness and justice. She ended the Old World due to all the injustice she saw in it, preferring to start fresh. She is fickle, petty, and can hold a grudge, but is ultimately well-meaning and can be exceptionally kind when she wants to be. She is the patron deity of the kohvuze and the harpoya. Eris and the Midnight Lady have a strong relationship, and Eris is the go-to when the Midnight Lady wants a job done but can't do it herself.

Brelzred

(by me!)

(this is the guy I mentioned days 9 and 16)

A rival of sorts to the Midnight Lady, Brelzred is the god of light and magic, and the patron deity of the drekes and tanuki. He alternates between genuine friendliness and more malicious and mischevious behavior depending on his mood, but ironically for a light deity isn't too bright. He's a consummate shapeshifter who uses the ability to get into all sorts of shenanigans - his true forms are a tailed pointy-eared human, a gold racoon dog with a reptilian feather-tipped tail, and a gold dragon with purple feathers.

Vaespar

The current BBEG of the Midnightverse is a dude named Vaespar. Who is... an evil sorcerer and seems like the sort of dude that'd fit the part, but one notable quirk is the fact most of his magical power comes from being possessed by an archdemon  that has a bad habit of eating people to fuel both their power. Vaespar's origins are shrouded in mystery, (read: they're spoilers) but he's considered bad news by the majority of the setting that doesn't worship him (especially because, as mentioned earlier, he eats people), has been sealed away multiple times (it never sticks), and has a stated endgoal of becoming a god or at least a more powerful abomination so he can make his fellow demons go from quivering parasites to some kind of master race. But the freakiest thing about him is that he or at least his host/vessel is human. In a setting where humans are actually extinct. And exactly where the human half of his being even came from is lost to time. And humans apparently make stupidly powerful demon hosts. So the main characters are trying to figure out where the hell he came from in hopes it will give away a way to actually kill him. Vaespar himself isn't convinced that'll happen anytime soon, but likes to take precautions regardless, because he's pretty evil and prone to petty self-indulgence but he's not stupid. Personality wise he's intended to be one of those villains who's kind of comedic but still comes off as a serious and even horrifying threat.

(also you know how in the Day 19 post I mentioned it's rumored that humans would have been stupidly good at the magic thing if they were still around to use it but there's only one piece of evidence for that? Vaespar is that piece of evidence.)

But that's all for WBJ this year! I'll see you all next year - For now, time for Artfight! You'll see some of these characters there.

[tfcrp]

THE FOXHOLE COURT: DECEMBER 10-DECEMBER 16

ONLINE:

“Results in the Southeastern District came right down to the wire, but with the Foxes beating the Gamecocks 5-2 and the Jackrabbits beating the Dolphins 3-2, the Foxes inched ahead in the tiebreaker, pulling them ahead of the Jackrabbits for the fourth and final spot in the Spring Championships—by a single goal.”

“How does it feel for the Foxes to make it to Championships for the second year in a row? ‘It’s amazing,’ said junior striker Leo Duarte, who played for the first time since October after breaking his hand in a game against the Ravens. Perhaps even more shocking than the Foxes pulling off a last-minute victory was Duarte, who scored his first goal after a season marred by injury and poor play. On Friday, the relief was palpable: 'I’m really hoping that there will be more goals from me come Championships,’ Duarte added.”

“Freshman backliner Basil Walcott, seemed to agree, when he wasn’t sniping with reporters. ‘The Foxes are champions: never forget that,’ Walcott said. Bold words from a player whose team, prior to last year, hadn’t even qualified for the Championships anytime in recent memory. We’ll see if the Foxes are able to back up those words come January.”

- COLLEGE EXY ONLINE, “SOUTHEAST SHOWDOWN: FOXES EKE OUT VICTORY.”

“The 2018 regular season is in the books, and after a season of ups and downs and some incredible upsets, we know who will be fighting for the Class I title in the new year:”

“Southeastern District: 1) The Edgar Allan Ravens; 2) The Breckenridge Jackals; 3) The Belmonte Terrapins; 4) The Palmetto State Foxes. Even with the top two spots falling into predictable place, the Southeast was more competitive than ever this year, and after the dust settled on a photo finish, the surprise victors were none other than the Foxes, who just managed to sneak into fourth place and back into the Championships for a second year in a row.”

“Northeastern District: 1) The Ohio State Buckeyes; 2) The Penn State Lions; 3) The Boston Terriers; 4) The Depaul Blue Demons; 5) The Binghampton Bearcats. The story in the Northeast is the story of the rise of the Buckeyes, who took first place in their district for the first time in history—but also the story of the fall of the Lions, who just barely managed to hold onto second place, after losing their entire coaching staff in the wake of scandal. But this story could be gearing up for a twist: in the odds bracket for the first time, the Buckeyes will have to fight through the other top-ranked teams to get to the semi-finals, while the Lions will have a much easier path through the evens bracket.”

“Southwestern District: 1) The UT Longhorns; 2) The UNLV Rebels; 3) The Arizona Sundevils; 4) The Baylor Bears. The Longhorns continue to hold onto the top spot, as the Sundevils continue to fall just short in their quest for past greatness, falling behind not only the Longhorns but the surging Rebels as well.”

“Northwestern District: 1) The USC Trojans; 2) The UC Davis Aggies; 3) The Washington State Cougars; 4) The UCLA Bruins; 5) The Idaho Vandals. While the rest of the districts have seen some upheaval, the Northwest remains predictable—save for the Vandals, who qualified for the Championships for the first time since making the jump to Class I in 2015.”

- COLLEGE EXY ONLINE, “WELCOME TO THE CHAMPIONSHIPS: YOUR TOP 18 TEAMS.”

“Sadly, since the Foxes pulled out a win, we can’t offer you any Fox tears—but can we interest you in a Vixen absolutely eating it over and over and over again? That’s right, we’ve got the gif, and we’ve been staring at it nonstop since Friday. Just when you thought this squad couldn’t be any more embarrassing, they find a way to pull it off. What is that saying again? Laughter (at others) is the best medicine? Take it from us, this will do the trick.”

“It looks like two other Foxes have taken each other off the market—for now. We can’t say we’re surprised when two filthy rich trainwrecks hook up, but it does seem like an exercise in narcissism, doesn’t it? And if this party boy can keep it in his pants for his new lady love, we’ll be shocked.”

“The victorious Foxes might have tried to keep us out, but we’ve got gossip for you anyway. And we’ve got a riddle: what’s sloppy and drunk and red all over? Yelling at one boy, disappearing for some private time with another girl, and ending up with someone else at the end of the night? Seems like someone was busy.”

- FOXWATCH, YOUR SOURCE FOR GOSSIP AT PALMETTO STATE UNIVERSITY

ON CAMPUS:

Even with finals rapidly approaching, the Palmetto campus is awash in orange and good spirits: and with both the Exy and football teams heading into their respective Championships, the stupid body seems willing to hop on the Exy bandwagon and temporarily claim the Foxes as their own.

With their spot in the Championships secure and no Exy left to play this semester, the Foxes enter into an abbreviated practice schedule, allowing them to maintain their conditioning and keep their on-court skills sharp, but still recover from their push to the postseason and conserve some energy for the coming Championships, where there will be a lot more brutal Exy to play.

The host for this year’s Winter Banquet is none other than the Edgar Allan Ravens. After an undefeated season that saw them squarely on top of the Southeastern District once more, the Ravens will welcome teams from both the Southeastern and Northeastern Districts into Castle Evermore on Saturday, December 15.

Of all the teams in the Foxes’ district, none are further away than Edgar Allan, and the over seven hour journey is a reminder of what’s to come next semester, when they take on even farther-flung teams.

With their banquet attire in tow, the Foxes and Vixens meet in the Court parking lot on Saturday morning to begin their journey. While they have no desire to stay in Ravens country for longer than they have to, the cumbersome journey means they’ll be staying overnight, and so when they arrive in West Virginia they check into their hotel and begin getting ready for the evening ahead.

(Further details about the Winter Banquet will be posted on Friday night!)

[topimagines]

Inferno

Violence

Summary:  Where do people go when they die? Well, for the least lucky people in the world, hell is waiting. But what happens when these people do go to hell? And how did you end up there?    

Warning: death, hell, mentions of religion, language, smut ish, its fucking long lol, i love brendon urie

A/N: do not repost any work on this blog without explicit permission from me or Alissa. also, in case anyone is curious, I’m an atheist. I also gave a birthday for y/n because it already had a lot of insert shit. and note my not so subtle allusion to tom holland and harrison osterfield.

Part 1// Part 2//Part 3// Part 4// Part 5// Part 6// Part 7// Part 8// Part 9// Part 10

You and Tyler finally reached the floor you were staying on, the penthouse of the apartment building. The living room was very large and open, the carpet almost too white to be possible. All of the furniture was golden yellow, including the appliances in the open plan kitchen. There were two giant doors on either side of the living room, and on the farthest side from the door, there was an entire wall of glass. There was an extravagant chandelier hanging overhead, casting a yellow light on the room.  

"Wow," you muttered, looking around the apartment.  

"Pete definitely helped fix up the place," Tyler said in awe, he had never seen such a beautiful room in Hell. You walked further into the room before taking a seat on the lavish gold couch. “He always was good at interior design.”

"I guess we should get comfortable, we could stay for a while," you said, "and you can fill me in on some of that 'need to know' crap."

"What do you mean?" Tyler asked, taking a spot on the couch across from where you sat. He obviously knew what you were talking about, he wasn't stupid. He knew you wanted history, and possibly an explanation of everything that had happened in the last three days.  

"Where is Josh, and what was he?" You asked, after a beat of silence.  

Tyler's eyes widened and he looked at you in disbelief. How the fuck does she know that? He thought to himself. He took a small breath before formulating a response, "I’m not answering that.”

“So you’re back to keeping secrets?” you asked, “bullshit, Tyler! You know so much about me, tell me what the fuck happened!”

Tyler took a deep breath before sighing, “okay, fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. It started after that car accident I told you about, and after I made it through every circle.”

-

Tyler walked back into the club, the music only adding to his head ache. He had to cut through the dance floor to reach Brendon, the man sitting alone at the far end of the room. His white shoes and coat were covered in blood, but somehow that wasn’t the worst thing in the dance floor of the club.

“Ah! Tyler, my boy, it’s so nice to see you! Did you do as I asked?” Brendon greeted when he reached the table.  

“And then some,” Tyler answered, taking a seat across from the man in a plush, red booth.  

“I knew you could do it, I fucking hate politicians,” he said, sly smirk on his face, “now, I have one more job for you, then you’re home free for a few weeks.”  

“Yeah?”

“Your partner already knows all the details, he should be getting here about now,” Brendon said, “oh, look! There he is! Over here!” Brendon waved a man with yellow hair poking out from a hoodie walked over, the hood covering most of his face, but it was obvious he had a sly smile on his face, and a blade sticking out from under the waistband of the hoodie. He sat down next to Tyler and he took his hood off of the top of his head and showed his face.

“Josh?”

“Hi, Tyler,” Josh greeted. His smile wasn't the same as it used to be. Brendon seemed to be doting on Josh, bragging about his reinstatement and his natural skill that Tyler could tell was definitely not as natural as they were making it seem.  

A woman walked up to Brendon, a smile on her face, “Hey, baby. Is this them?”  

Brendon nodded, holding his arm out to lead the woman into his lap, “Gentlemen, this is my wife, Azrael.” Josh nodded in her direction and didn’t look her in the eyes, and Tyler said a small hi. “Azrael, this is Josh and Tyler.”  

“Ah, we’ve been waiting for you both.”

-

“Can I finish tomorrow, I’m tired,” Tyler interrupted his own story and scratched his head, not bothering to hide his yawn, “I promise, I’ll finish it in the morning.”

“It’s only seven o’clock, Tyler,” you complained, “at least tell me what the job was.”

“Then I can go to sleep?”

“yes,” you whine.  

“To take care of the overcrowding in Libitina.” You looked at him expectedly, waiting for him to further explain. But he was already laying back on the couch and pulling his hood over his head.  

Cool, leave me hanging... again.  

So you left the room, and went to bed.

-

You knew you were asleep, but you weren’t in the same spot Brendon first visited you at. You were at the entrance of a cemetery that you recognized as a very famous one in LA. You had visited it once or twice to see some famous graves.

“This is where I was buried,” a voice said. You turned and saw Brendon standing next to you with a blunt in his mouth and a black suit, as opposed to the red one you saw last time.  

“Really?”

“No, I was actually buried in Las Vegas,” he stated with a chuckle. Suddenly the scene in front of you was blurry and you were in front of another cemetery, not recognizing the entrance. “oh, I’m right over here.”

“So you’re basically the ghost of Christmas past?  

He chuckled, but didn’t say anything, only led you down a small trail and in front of a shiny, granite headstone. He took a long drag from his blunt and blew it toward the grave, somehow it felt like a sign of respect.

Brendon Boyd Urie

April 12, 1973- October 28, 1994

Loving Husband, Son, and Singer  

“My wife, well his wife, changes my headstone if it ever erodes too much,” he stated, “she is on the fast track to heaven, so I won’t get to see her. She’s the one that found me, after I dropped like a fly.”  

“Are all couples like that?” you asked, “one gets sent to hell and the other somehow never goes?”

“No, only the people you’ve met so far, sometimes both get sent to hell and they live out torture together, or they go to heaven,” Brendon explained, “And then there are the people who both go to purgatory and have a blast trying to get to heaven together. It’s like the ultimate team building exercise.” Brendon sat down at the feet of his grave, knowing that his body was decayed right under him.  

“How did you die?”

“Rock star lifestyle,” he sighed, “I was a bit of a partier, and one day I got involved in the wrong shit and my body couldn’t take it.” He turned to a random stone and put out the blunt, leaving it still sort of smoldering as he backed away.

The scenery changed once again, Brendon sat in front of you this time on a headstone, “You probably don’t recognize this place, but we’re in Ohio.” Brendon moved from the headstone and showed you the name on it.

Tyler Robert Joseph

December 1, 1987- June 5, 2007

Gone too soon. God bless his soul.

“He was never blessed,” Brendon laughed, “it’s a sick irony of dying, these people don’t know we’re down there, don’t know that most of the people don’t stand a chance.”

You looked at Brendon, his eyes clouded in something you hadn’t thought would be there, ever.  

Regret.  

“Brendon,” you started, “what happens when hell gets too crowded?” He whipped his head to look at you, surprised by the question. “And please be honest, I’m tired of people fucking lying to me down here.”

“If they have improved over time, they have a shot to get into purgatory,” he stated, “and if they do something horrible, even for Hell, the get sent to a place called Libitina. It’s like a prison for the damned to stay and rot.”

“What qualifies as that bad?”  

“Not a lot, sweetheart,” he said shortly, “we have one more stop, then you can ask all the questions you want.”

The scenery changed for a final time and you recognized immediately where you were. You wrote in your will that you wanted to be buried in a cemetery in London next to Tom. Brendon led you to the two fresh grave, grass not even grown on the patch of dirt the headstones were on.  

(Y/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N)

October 5, 1997- January 22, 2023

Forever resting with the love of her life

Thomas James Hosterfeld

June 1, 1996- January 22, 2023

Forever resting with the love of his life

“You got your wishes,” Brendon said, “you didn’t end up with him as your families had hoped, but I’ll tell you that he is on the third tier of Purgatory.”

“I’m glad, if anything, he deserves it,” you sighed. There was a silence between you and Brendon, and you took the moment to sit sown in the grass of the cemetery. Brendon let out a quiet chuckle and sat next to you, playing with the grass below his fingers. He took out another blunt and lit it up before inhaling the smoke.  

“Want a hit?” he asked. You shook your head, waving it away.

“Is this all? You’re gonna leave me to talk to Tyler?” you asked, lowly, “all he ever does is lie to me. He never tells me anything.”  

“Well, Tyler lies about a lot of things,” Brendon sighed, “he doesn’t like letting people in. But that’s his story to tell. It hasn’t always been in his favour.”

“Do you let people in?”

“If they let me in,” he answered. You looked over at him and saw him looking back at you. He leans forward and catches your lips in his, giving you a sweet yet hungry kiss. He was more tender than Tyler, taking his time to savour everything about your lips.  

He trailed his kisses down your neck, quickly finding your sweet spot on your neck. You let out a moan as he nibbled on your neck, rolling your head to the side to give him more access.  

“You’re killing me, sweetheart,” he said in your ear before biting lightly on your ear lobe.  

“How so?” you asked, cutting it off slightly with a moan as he attacked the collar bone peaking out from under your shirt.  

“I see everything, you and Tyler, the kissing, cuddling, and I hate seeing him touch you,” he said, moving his head to look you in the eye, “not when we keep having these times together at night, and he’s got you all to himself every day.”

“Then I’ll stop,” you said, “now touch me before I have to wake up and look him in the eye.” He laughed lowly, a cocky smirk appearing on his face.

“Sweetheart, you know I control these dreams. I can make them as long as I need,” he said. He reached for your hips and guided you to sit in his lap, his bulge evident as you ground down on him, “I can feel you soaking through those jeans, darling.”

“Then do something about it,” you groaned. You leaned in and nibbled just under his jawline, “do hickeys show when we wake up?”

“If you want them to, kitten,” he answered, rolling his head to the side to show more real estate as you sucked a hickey into his neck.  

“Good, wanna show everyone what I did,” you moan, grinding down harder on his dress pant clad cock. Brendon’s hand wandered down into your pants, and moved your underwear out of the way to feel your wetness. You moaned when his fingers brushed over your clit.

“So wet, from just kissing your pretty neck,” he said cockily, sliding his fingers into you and pumping slowly, watching you writhe on top of him. You groaned, and reached down to unbutton your pants and pushed them down as far as you could. Brendon noticed your struggle and pushed you down so you were laying on the ground under him.  

“be patient, my sweet girl, we have all the time in the world.”  

-

You laid with Brendon in the grass, your head laying in his chest. He put back on his pants and boxers, but let you have his shirt and jacket to cover yourself after he ripped your shirt.  

“Now I have to wake up without you there,” you said, tracing circles on his chest lightly, “what am I gonna say to Tyler?”

“You don’t have to say shit to him, sweetheart,” his chest rumbled as he spoke, “sure, you’ll wake up with my suit jacket and shirt on, but I set up that penthouse just for you. Say you found it in one of the drawers.”

“I’m covered in hickeys, Brendon,” you giggled.  

“you fell off the bed, you’re clumsy,” he laughed. You giggled and poked his chest with your nail.  

“Is it always gonna be like this when we reach you? Is that why you want me?” you asked.  

“It can be whatever you want and more, baby,” he said. He started sit up, holding you so you didn’t get hurt somehow. “It’s time to wake up now, babe.”

“But I want to stay here, with you,” you whined.  

“I know, but the sooner you wake up, the sooner you head out and you can see me at my club,” he said. He leaned down to kiss you before he stood up. Everything around you dissipated as he stretched his limbs.

“Will I see you again, next time?” you ask him as the wind picks up.  

“Of course, baby,” he said, turning around and kneeling to meet your eyes, “and remember, Tyler doesn’t touch you anymore, my lips are the only ones that can be on you.”  

“Bye, Brendon.”

-

You woke up in the big soft bed of the penthouse apartment, having a new appreciation for the soft sheets under your body and bunched in your hands.  

You swung your feet over the edge of the bed and stood to look at yourself in the mirror that was on the closet of the room. You were, indeed, in Brendon’s suit jacket and red button up, but it didn’t look too bad on you.  

In fact, you thought it was kind of cute.  

You made your way out of the room and saw Tyler sprawled out on the couch, snoring lightly. You walked over and poked him in the face, “Tyler, wake up.” You attempted one more time before turning on your heel and taking the first big thing near you, a metal abstract sculpture of a human, and dropping it on the floor. Tyler jumped awake and you looked at him innocently.  

“What the fuck?”

“Finish the story, no breakfast until then,” you stated. You sat on one of the couches and looked at him expectantly.  

“Alright, well, Azrael told us they were expecting us.”

-

“You two are going to Libitina to eradicate these people,” Brendon stopped paying attention to Azrael long enough to slide a manila folder over to the boys across from him, “then do what you want. But I want my blades back when you’re done.” Brendon went back to brushing his fingers through her hair lovingly, whispering sweet nothings into her ear, and kissing her neck.

“Obviously,” Tyler said, but Josh had a look on his face that made him uncomfortable. Something told him that he would be getting into trouble like he used to when they were alive and Josh wanted to go do something crazy.

-

“Then one thing led to another, and Josh started a rebellion that lasted half of a decade,” Tyler explained, “he was a hell hound in a humans body. The pure personification of evil, worse than that of the devil. He wanted to overthrow Satan and free all of the Damned into earth, heaven, and purgatory.”

“Is that all?” you asked, “Where is he now?”

“Libitina.”

“The place all the bad, bad people go?” Tyler never answered. He got up and went to take a shower, not before turning to you.  

“Want to come with me?” He held a hand out for you to take.

You thought for a second, knowing you promised Brendon that you would not start anything with Tyler. But it was Tyler, the man who was leading you through hell for nothing but pride, and had suffered so much. He opened up to you, even if it was poco a poco. So, you nodded with a broad smile and took his hand, letting him lead you to the big shower.  

-

You hardly expected to be reaching the most beautiful circle of hell. You didn’t know that there was such a thing. But, you and Tyler walked down a long gravel path with green grass on either side, a large creek came into view with a man leaning against the post of a magnificent bridge of dark wood and golden railings on either side. The man was shorter than the bridge and had a black hoodie that you swore was Thrasher brand.  

Hm, didn’t know they had brands in hell.

When you approached the man, you noticed that his body was covered from head to toe, including his hands, which were tucked comfortably into his pockets, and he had two feathered wings on his back, tucked so close together and compact, it was almost like he was hiding them from you.  

"That's Pete, he's a harpy," Tyler explained, looking toward the man expectantly, "He's probably here to help us through the rings of Violence."

He didn’t seem to be paying attention to you as you and Tyler walked up, his head parallel with the ground, not letting you see his face. When he finally heard your footsteps, he looked up, sending shivers down your spine with his yellow eyes. When he saw you, he stood up taller and rolled his shoulders out before putting his hands together and dropping them in front of him. A stark contrast from the red-scale eyes you had seen so far. When you took a closer look, you saw small tufts of feathers poking out of the bottom of the hood.  

"Hey," he greeted, looking between you and Tyler, and after a beat of silence, stuck his hand out to introduce himself, "I'm Pete, guardian of Violence. It's nice to finally meet you, my lady."

Tyler's eyes widened and he cleared his throat, hoping you wouldn’t notice his formality, "This is (Y/N), Pete. She's the girl Brendon wants."

Pete's expression matched Tyler's as he realized his mistake, "Oh, my bad. Thought you were someone else." He scratched the back of his head awkwardly and waited for Tyler to reprimand him like he used to, but nothing ever came.  

"We should get walking now, we have three rings to get through at one time," Tyler said. Pete nodded and turned on his heel, leading you across the bridge. The bridge was way longer than you expected, but it the shortest ring of Violence, so you couldn’t complain about the creaking below your feet as you walked. One you had looked down, you saw creatures swimming up and down, and a large one that looked very scary. "That's Leviathan, he doesn’t like Acheron, so he stays here," Tyler explained.

"Oh cool, another hell creature I have to know about," you said, sarcastically, "what next, are there hellhounds?"

"Oh, they're in the circle Brendon occupies," Pete answered from ahead of you two, "He made them cuter."

-

You all walked in silence for what seemed like ages, walking across this bridge seemed easier than going through the other rings, but you knew it was too good to last. It was hell, after all. Tyler seemed to be walking on eggshells, any splashing spooked him, he refused to look up at Pete or at you and walked so cautiously that it seemed like he wasn’t even on the bridge with you. He seemed to be off in his own world.

Your mind, however, had started to wander. You thought about your life, trying to figure out what you did that sent you down here on this... adventure?

-

"You really shouldn’t do this, (Y/N)," Harrison said, "You love Tom, how do you think he'll react when he finds out?"

"It's just a girl, he won't care," you reasoned, looking up at Harrison with glassy eyes, your speech slightly slurred, "He has a girlfriend, if anything he should be thrilled! I'm finally getting some and forgetting about him!"

"There's a difference between forgetting about him and moving on,” Harrison muttered, “come on, (Y/N), let’s just go home and watch x-files.” He reached for your hand, but you pulled it away from him quickly and blew him off, claiming you were a big girl and you could take care of yourself.  

“I’ll be fine, Harrison,” you slurred, giggling at something in your head as a girl reached for you, equally as drunk, and started to drag you away, “I’ll see you tomorrow, baby! Don’t wait up! Get some while you’re here.”  

-

“(y/n), stop daydreaming,” Tyler said, breaking you out of your trance like state. You didn’t realize you were at the end of the bridge, and, in addition, the end of the first ring in violence. You looked ahead and saw, finally, the true reason the ring was called violence. There were people, the damned, running around picking raspberries as harpies flew over their heads, talons out, picking people up, clawing at their faces and hands.  

Pete didn’t stop, he continued to lead you toward a ginormous building, completely ignoring the pleads of mercy all around you. You kept your eyes down, looking at the path under your feet.  

When you looked up, finally, you saw the entrance to the building.  

“Libitina, in all her glory,” Pete said, his voice bored. The doors were already open, and it looked like someone forced it open.  

“Is it… supposed to look like that?” you asked. Tyler nodded, looking reminiscent.  

“A long time ago, someone broke out through the doors and Brendon never bothered to fix them,” he said. Suddenly, sirens rang through the air and both Pete and Tyler stood up straight, “now, that isn’t supposed to happen.”  

The boys charged in, leaving you at the door with a shocked expression. You had a feeling that you’d need to use Eveningstar. You ran in after them, but the place was far too big and you found yourself at the wrong place at the wrong time. You got lost in the winding halls, listening out for voices, but they were all drowned out by the piercing siren.

You were pulled into someone’s chest and a knife was held to your throat. A silver handle was held by a tan hand and you knew. Morningstar.  

“I suggest you keep that pretty little mouth shut, unless you want to disappear,” a gravelly voice said in your ear. He turned you toward two forms, Pete and Tyler. They writhed in their spots, trying to move but they couldn’t.

“How did this happen so fast?” Pete groaned.  

“revenge makes the damned powerful, Peter,” the man behind you laughed, “especially when the bitch that put me here is near.”

“What?” you asked.  

“Shut up, Muriel!” the man spoke.  

“That’s not Muriel, Joshua!” Tyler yelled, “Muriel would know better than to come back.”  

“Then why are you guarding her, who is she?” Josh said, ending with a laugh. He truly thought you were this Muriel person.

Angel. Demon. Whatever.  

Your mind reeled. Why would he thing you’re Muriel? Joshua held the blade harder against your throat, leaving you to gasp for breath without letting it cut into the skin. Joshua looked down at you, his gaze clouded with pain and loss, and when you locked eyes, he seemed thrown off. The sharpness of the blade eased up as he was sent into a whirlwind of old emotions.  

"(y/n)! Do you remember the view? Remember what you said when we looked out of Joe's window together?" Tyler said from his spot, locked in place. He couldn’t move his legs to reach you. Josh must have been practicing his biokinesis after all these years. You knew exactly what he was talking about. Azrael's blade was digging into your side in this compromising position.

"I said that you almost forget we're in hell for all eternity," you answered in a weak voice. You slid one of your hands away from the hand holding a knife to your throat and down your side to the shadow-casted blade. You unsheathed it and moved it from your side to slightly poke Josh's, "We were so enthralled, we didn’t hear Joe enter the room."

How did you know how to stab Josh with this blade without killing him?

You stabbed the knife into his side and felt the blade on your neck ease up. But, you moved too quickly and the blade dug into your neck and cut you. You fell on your side, landing next to Josh, facing him.  

Both you and Josh passed out. Tyler finally broke free and ran to you, pulling your body into his lap.

“No!”

-

“Hello, Gabriel,” you greeted the angel, smiling gently at him as he brought you in for a hug, “I missed you.” Brendon had crossed arms, watching you and his brother interact with each other. He never knew he could be the jealous type.

“I missed you too, Azrael,” Gabriel squeezed you tight before the hug ended and pulled away.  

“What’s this about you not taking the mistakes from limbo to purgatory?”  

“I was hoping you wouldn’t ask that,” he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “Dad is being a pain lately, and forcing us to kill off forgotten souls.” Brendon rolled his eyes, of course his father would do that, he was never the most considerate ruler.  

You shook your head. Of course, he was trying to do that. Hell was starting to get crowded, you could only imagine what it looked like in purgatory and heaven.  

“More people are going to hell than ever, heaven isn’t even that full,” Gabriel explained, “We’re filtering all the people we can into heaven from purgatory but they’re moving slower than ever.”  

“I suppose this is means for revolution again?” you sighed. The last time there was a revolution in hell and purgatory, your son had died in the hands of your brother, Muriel. You could never be really mad at Muriel, he was doing what he thought was right, but now more than ever, you missed your dear Josh.  

“How? Last time I took care of all the revolutionists last time,” Brendon spoke up, taking your hand after he saw your face fall. Gabriel shrugged.

“There are two new souls coming, and one of them is going to start a revolution,” Gabriel looked you in the eyes, his golden orbs reassuring. However, it wasn’t reassuring enough, “One of them is Joshua.”

-

You groaned at the red light shining above your head.  

“What the fuck happened?” you asked. Tyler and Pete were sitting, having just seen exactly what happened. You looked down at your body, you were wearing the same red dress you saw in your dream.  

Nightmare? No, definitely not a nightmare.  

Memory.  

Josh came too soon after, looking at you with a hopeful sparkle in his eyes. It was quickly gone, however, when he realized it was no longer a dream.  

“Lady Azrael,” Pete said, moving to kneel.  

“I didn’t believe Brendon when he said it was you,” Tyler muttered.  

You stood up, a little unsteady on your bare feet, as opposed to shoes you were wearing, on the rough concrete. You stepped toward Josh, who was holding his side with on hand, and holding Morningstar in the other. You reached down and took your blade.  

Huh, maybe it did belong to you.

“You never know who you’re threatening,” you said. This act was coming so natural.  

“Go ahead. Finish me off, wipe me from existence,” Josh said, barely able to speak now, “you have to know that these wounds don’t heal.”  

You did know. Somehow. Maybe Azrael was telling you, deep down. But she was also begging you to not take her son, your son, away again. The pain was too much.

“I’m not going to finish you off, Joshua,” you said, squatting down to take both blades, the one in his hand and the one in his side, away from him, “I’m going to take this blade out of your side, and I'll heal you.”

“Why?”  

“What kind of mother would I be to leave my son lying, in pain.”

[strongislandsuperfan]

The Ghost of the UFL

With the rise of alternative football leagues beginning to take shape and gain traction, many are fascinated with what these alternative leagues have to offer, in terms of talent, team locations and what will separate them from the dominance of the National Football League. Also, we see many fans losing faith in a proud, American sports league that, unofficially, owned a day of the week. 

As we witness the fast-growing rise of Alliance of American Football (AAF), the long-awaited comeback of the XFL (debuting in 2020), the perseverance of the Arena Football League (which no matter how many times they go bankrupt, they still find a way back) and the emergence of The Indoor Football League, The National Arena League, and other leagues beginning to take shape, I can’t help but to be haunted by cringeworthy mistakes of alternative leagues.

Now, mind you, I want these leagues to succeed, as long as they are wise enough to learn from past mistakes of others who have tried and have impressively failed.

I will not bore you with antidotes and ill-fated stories of the 1980′s catastrophe known as The United States Football league. In fact, I give them a pass, based on the fact that they debuted 2 years before I was born and on the simple fact that they were just a mirror reflection of the failed glitz and glam of the decade of excess, cocaine, bad business decisions and the fascinating, money-driven enigma that is currently our commander-in-chief. Instead, I will focus on the most recently failed and forgotten United Football League. 

In case you have forgotten or never heard of them, The United Football League was the last league to try to directly compete with the NFL, beginning their season during the spring of 2009. The idea was to first, “soft-launch” the league with games on Thursday and Friday nights and eventually hold their own as a developmental league. A similar plan that mirrored the likes of the Arena Football League.

Unlike the first year of the XFL, the games were actually pretty exciting. From a marketing standpoint, they seemed to do everything right. They even had a TV deal going, with possible web streaming of live games as well. 

For the UFL’s first season, the markets chosen were New York City, Las Vegas, Orlando, and San Francisco. The league had a short schedule (6 games), with 3 home games in the same stadium in only one of their selected cities, Las Vegas. Not to mention that the San Francisco team (affectionately named the California Redwoods) had the worst attendance in the league.

The UFL was unable to secure a solid deal for a stadium within New York City, forcing the league to have them play one home game each in Hartford, Connecticut, on the campus of my alma mater, Hofstra University, located in Long Island, and in New Jersey. 

In addition, one of the games for Orlando’s team was played at Tropicana Field in St. Petersburg, Florida, in part because of shared ownership that year with the Tampa Bay Rays baseball team. This partnership faded the following year in 2010. 

Oh and if I didn’t mention this, the names of the respective teams (I tried not to laugh) from the season debut:

The Florida Tuskers

New York Sentinels

Las Vegas Locomotives

The California Redwoods

The Florida Tuskers finished 2009 with a 6–0 record. The Las Vegas Locomotives were next at 4–2, the California Redwoods were 2–4, and the Sentinels were last at 0–6. The Locomotives played the Tuskers in the 2009 UFL Championship Game; the Locomotives won the title thanks to a field goal in overtime.

After the first year, expansion came, with new teams debuting in Omaha, Nebraska and Virginia Beach, Virgina, the New York Sentinals relocating to Hartford, Connetticut, the California Redwoods moving from San Francisco to  Sacramento, and of course failed bids for other cities such as: 

Austin, Texas

San Antonio, Texas

Chattanooga, Tennessee

Salt Lake City, Utah

Portland, Oregon

Los Angeles, California

Louisville, Kentucky (<---this city made the most sense, in my opinion)

Columbus, Ohio

Jackson, Mississippi (<-----yes, you read that right. Its not a typo.)

As well as international markets considered in London, Mexico City and Monterrey.

The UFL folded in 2013, with lawsuits from players, coaches, and staff for not being paid their salaries by league owners. Business licenses expired, marketing failed as the league made a dismal effort in trying to engage an audience, and of course, the executives simply stopped paying the league’s bills (and clearly stopped caring).

The ownership lost or settled most of the lawsuits against them in 2014.

So, with all that being said, why focus on the failure? I’ll put it this way, many football fans, including me, are fed up with the pettiness, over-blown controversies, the “stand or kneel” for the anthem debate, players trying to do their best Ike Turner imitation & somehow feel victimized when they’re banned from the league, referees who look like they couldn’t give a fair call during a little league baseball game  and of course, Roger Goodell. 

We are dying for an alternative, especially when the hype dies down after Super Bowl Sunday. We want innovation. We want players to be safe. We want to see small market cities finally get a shot at taking on a franchise that they can get excited about. We want old school, smash mouth, gridiron football. We don’t want gimmicks. We don’t want jerk-off billionaires that are completely out of touch with the fanbase, as well as with the players. 

If the AAF, XFL, AFL, NAL and any other league is going to learn a lesson from the most recent failure of the UFL, might I suggest the following advice:

-Be smart with your money, in terms of marketing, contracts and PAY YOUR PEOPLE!

-Have a balance of glitz & glam with grit and blood. Understand, fans miss the days of beautiful footwork and swift movement, courtesy of Walter Payton and Barry Sanders. However, because I am a child of the 80′s and a proud 3rd generation New York Giants fan, we also miss the days of bone-breaking, cranial shattering, hard-hitting action, courtesy of Sir Lawrence Taylor.

-Although I’m not wild about, “soft launches”, please don’t be in a rush to throw everything at football fans in one shot. History needs to be written and if your league is as bigger and better as you are trying to show dogmatic NFL fans, then let the talent speak for itself. Sometimes, the best things take the most time.

-Billionaire owners and ownership groups must be in tune with their audience. Let the fans have a voice. Don’t be the James Dolan of the football world. 

-Please, give small market cities a chance. I can name at least two cities (Louisville, Kentucky and Oklahoma City, Oklahoma), that not only have an audience that can be engaged, with the right marketing, but they are long overdue for a franchise that they can get behind. 

-We are tired of leagues debuting with these new, “innovations”, that the so-called experts try to come up with. We could care less about changing the tuck rule, the no kickoff rule, the intentional grounding penalty and so on and so on. Just play some freakin’ football! 

-Do not try to out-do the NFL. They are what they are. Just stick to what makes your league unique and please, don’t debut in the fall. NFL and NCAA College football clearly own this time of the year. Just let it be....until Roger Goodell does or says something stupid and really loses his audience. 

-Lastly, No more gimmicks! Although I would have to say, the engraved highlight of the XFL was Rod Smart’s brilliantly named jersey:

That is all.

[feministeblog-blog]

Blessed Be the Fruit: Six-week abortion bills are sweeping the nation

Under his eye. (Photo credit Jacquelyn Martin/AP)

Back in March, I brought up a (then) brand-new law in Kentucky that essentially outlaws abortion. Technically, it only bans abortion after a heartbeat can be detected, but since that can happen as early as six weeks — before many women even know they’re pregnant — it’s basically a not-even-that-sneaky attempt to ban all abortions. Except it’s not even that. It’s an attempt to get their law in front of the Supreme Court to create an opportunity for our newly conservatized court to overturn Roe v. Wade.

Kentucky was the first to get their bill over the line, but they’re far from the only contenders. Three more have been signed — among them Georgia’s truly repugnant bill, which was signed just this week — and six more are currently sitting in various stages in their respective legislatures, most of them openly declaring an intent to make it to the Supreme Court, consequences and expenses to the taxpayers be damned.

(A note on terminology: These bills are made all the most absurd by the fact that a fetus doesn’t even actually have a heart at six weeks’ gestation, as pointed out by Dr. Jen Gunter. But I guess “fetal pole tissue activity bill” doesn’t have the same ring to it. I’ll be using the term “six-week ban,” because I don’t like reinforcing inaccurate, intentionally inflammatory terminology.)

It’s important to note that even after these laws “officially” take effect, they won’t be able to actually take effect because they are, to a one, unconstitutional AF. (But again, that’s the whole point.) It’s less important to note that 56 percent of the U.S. public opposes the bans once they know what the bans really mean, and 65 percent of the public don’t want the court to overturn Roe. Why is that less important? Because the public doesn’t get an opinion on this one — it’s not in Brett Kavanaugh’s hands yet, but it will be before long.

Signed

Georgia

Just on Tuesday, Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp signed HB 481 — the Living Infants Fairness and Equality Act, see, it spells a word! It’s so clever! — which prevents women from getting an abortion once a fetal heartbeat can be detected. The law does include exceptions for a documented medical emergency or for rape or incest — in which case you have to file a police report before they’ll let you get an abortion.

But wait, there’s more. The Georgia law also declares that “unborn children are a class of living, distinct person” that deserves “full legal recognition” — meaning that, no shit, fetuses have to be included in “population based determinations.”

Unlike many abortion laws that apply to abortion providers but not pregnant women, this law does criminalize women who get abortions. If they get an abortion from a provider, they’re a party to murder, punishable by life in prison. (If you travel out of state, or help someone else leave the state, for an abortion, that’s conspiracy to commit murder, 10 years.) If she miscarries because of her own conduct (like using drugs while pregnant), that’s second-degree murder, punishable by 10 to 30 years in prison. (So pregnant women in Georgia, look forward to an interrogation about that sushi you ate that one time if you should ever experience the tragedy of a miscarriage.) And if she terminates her own pregnancy, that’s murder, subject to life imprisonment or death.

The law will go into effect January 1, 2020, although Roe v. Wade will prevent the state from actually prosecute women — for as long as Roe remains precedent, at least.

Ohio

At long last, Ohio has finally managed to get a six-week ban passed! (Fifth time’s the charm.) In April, Ohio Gov. Mike DeWine signed SB 23, the Human Rights Protection Act (which doesn’t spell anything clever. Come on, Ohio, you’ve had eight years to work on this). The new law, of course, bans abortions as soon as a heartbeat can be detected, making it a fifth-degree felony with up to a year in prison for any doctor who performs one. The legislation also lets the State Medical Board take disciplinary action against doctors, with penalties of up to $20,000. It was known as the country’s most punitive such bill until Georgia said, “Hold my beer.”

Is this another bill designed for the sole purpose of causing a Supreme Court challenge, though? No way!

Just kidding. “Will there be a lawsuit? Yeah, we are counting on it. We’re counting on it. We’re excited about it.” Well, I’m glad you’re getting such a thrill from violating a woman’s right to bodily autonomy, state Rep. Ron Hood.

The new law is scheduled to take effect 90 days after signing — which will be July 10 — unless, of course, it’s blocked by a federal judge.

Mississippi

In March, Mississippi Gov. Phil Bryant signed their own six-week ban, SB 2116, also prohibiting abortion as early as six weeks in lest a doctor lose their Mississippi medical license. (It does include an exception for the life or health of the mother, although the legislature rejected efforts to allow an exception for rape or incest.) In a statement at the signing ceremony, Bryant said, "I can remember the exciting moments both with my children and grandchildren when the first sonograms were taken and that heartbeat could be heard,” because some dude’s happy sonogram memory should definitely dictate what women are allowed to do with their own bodies.

Mississippi’s last attempt at an abortion bill passed last year — a ban after 15 weeks, which was, at the time, one of the most restrictive laws in the country. (Ah, simpler times.) It was blocked by a federal judge who found it to “unequivocally” violate women’s constitutional rights. I’m sure they have great hopes for this one, though. (Although it’s facing legal challenges, it remains as yet unblocked.)

(Fun fact: Did you know that Mississippi has the highest infant mortality rate in the country? I wonder if any of those babies would have appreciated the funding the state is prepared to dump into defending this openly unconstitutional law.)

Kentucky

Kentucky Gov. Matt Bevin got to signing SB 9 with a quickness — not only did he sign the bill into law around midnight the day after it passed the Senate in March, he also signed an “emergency” declaration to make it take effect immediately. The ACLU of Kentucky filed almost immediately to stop it from going into effect, and then U.S. District Judge David Hale awarded them a temporary stay almost immediately on the grounds that come on, y’all, please don’t pretend to be as stupid as you’re pretending to be. Or something like that. I’m paraphrasing.

EMW Women’s Surgical Center, the only remaining clinic in Kentucky that performs abortions, had to turn patients away the day the bill was signed. They were able to reopen again when the stay was ordered — for as long as it lasts, anyway.

In Progress

Louisiana

Louisiana’s SB 184 passed through the state Senate just this week and is headed over to the House for consideration. The bill prohibits a person from performing an abortion after a heartbeat is detected under penalty of a fine up to $1,000, up to two years in jail, and revocation of their medical license. It includes an exception for the woman’s life or health but not for rape or incest — the Senate committee original approved such an exception, but then a representative from Louisiana Right to Life convinced them to leave it out, because it would show respect for a life after it’s born, which we don’t do in Louisiana, merci beaucoup.

This law actually has a trigger clause that it will only go into effect if Mississippi’s law passes its own legal challenges. That way, Louisiana doesn’t have to pay for a legal battle it know it won’t be able to win. There’s using your noodle, Louisiana.

Alabama

Alabama HB 314 would make abortion — all abortion — a Class A felony, carrying a maximum sentence of 99 years in prison, and attempted abortion a Class C felony, with up to 10 years. It passed in the House 74-3, with all of the Republicans voting in favor (save for two who didn’t vote at all), and nearly all the Democrats walking out of the House chamber rather than vote.

As in other states, bill sponsor Rep. Terri Collins was very open about the fact that her goal with this bill is a Supreme Court challenge — that’s why it doesn’t include an exception for rape or incest (despite a proposed amendment to include such an exemption). She says the bill will provide “a vehicle to revisit the constitutionally flawed Roe v. Wade decision.”

The bill will move to the state Senate sometime next week, and while it’s not completely certain that it’ll pass, a companion bill (SB 211) was introduced last month, so chances aren’t bad. I mean, “not bad” in the sense that it’s not unlikely to pass, not “not bad” in the sense that it wouldn’t be very, very bad for anyone who might get pregnant.

South Carolina

South Carolina’s H 3020 would make it illegal to receive an abortion in South Carolina after a heartbeat is detected. Unlike most other six-week bans currently under discussion, South Carolina’s bill includes an exception for rape or incest as well as for the life of the mother, although it was only added after a bit of a fight.

The bill isn’t likely to become law this year, since the legislative session is over, but: The South Carolina legislative session is actually two years, meaning this bill could come back up when the General Assembly reconvenes in 2020. So while the bill hasn’t totally passed, we can’t really put it down as a fail either. (More’s the pity.) And it’s not promising that this is the first time this proposal has ever made it this far — attempts in 2013, 2015, 2017, and 2018 never made it to the floor, but this one appears to be a winner.

Missouri

In February, the House of Representatives in Missouri — which has exactly one abortion provider left — passed HB 126, which bans… like, everything. It started out just banning abortion after the detection of a heartbeat, making it a felony, but then it got loaded up like a party bus on prom night. As passed, the bill also bans abortion on the basis of race, sex, or indication of Down syndrome; requires both custodial parents to be informed if a minor tries to get an abortion; and requires Missouri residents who are getting an abortion out of state to receive the same informed consent booklet they would if they were getting their abortion in Missouri. It also includes a trigger clause that if Roe v. Wade is overturned, abortion is banned entirely in Missouri. And it bans abortion at eight, 14, 18, or 20 weeks, whichever ends up being deemed constitutional. (The bill includes an exception for the life or health of the mother but not for rape or incest.)

So just to be clear: This bill bans abortion after the detection of a heartbeat or on the basis of a whole bunch of things that can’t be detected at six weeks. And it requires out-of-state abortion providers to have Missouri informed consent materials, and it bans abortion after… basically whatever they can get away with. Missouri, you definitely win the award for most dadaist abortion bill.

The bill — called the “Missouri Stands for the Unborn” Act — is currently sitting in the state Senate, so we’ll see where it goes from there.

West Virginia

West By-God Virginia’s HB 2915 was introduced in February to ban abortion after a heartbeat is detected, except in the case of danger to the mother’s life or health, rape or incest, incomplete miscarriage, or fetal incompatibility with life — making it probably the most permissive of the current crop of six-week bills, which, of course, isn’t saying much. It also includes regulations as to what can be done with fetal tissue. The bill, which happens to have been co-sponsored by Speaker of the House Roger Hanshaw, was still sitting in committee when the legislative session closed in March.

Incidentally, last November, West Virginia voters approved an amendment to remove the right to abortion from the West Virginia constitution. During that debate, abortion-rights proponents argued that the amendment would open the door to other abortion restrictions. What a bunch of sillys, right?

Minnesota

In January, HF 271 (and its companion bill SF 869) were introduced to the Minnesota State Legislature. It was referred to the Health and Human Services Policy committee, and there it appears to be hanging out, for the time being. These bills are identical to HF 4524 and SF 4109, which failed to pass in 2018, so here’s hoping for a repeat of that.

FAIL

Florida

Companion bills HB 235 and SB 792 would have made it a third-degree felony for a doctor to perform an abortion after a heartbeat is detected, with an exception for the life or health of the mother. Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis had pledged to sign such legislation if it passed, which it didn’t.

Maryland

In February, HB 933 and HB 978 (the “Keep Our Hearts Beating” Act, like, seriously) were filed with the Maryland House of Delegates, but neither made it out of committee. Also in February, a bill that would enshrine a woman’s right to abortion in the state constitution was withdrawn because the Senate president didn’t want to move it forward this year. Maybe next year, Maryland.

Texas

The Texas House of Representatives held a public hearing in April to discuss HB 896, a law that would criminalize all abortion with no exception, and make it possible for women who get abortions to be convicted of homicide. Since Texas is easily the death-penaltiest state in the country, that means a woman could be executed for getting an abortion — even if her own life was in danger. Rep. Tony Tinderholt said the bill is necessary to make women “more personally responsible.”

The law, thankfully, was blocked in committee when Rep. Jeff Leach refused to advance it to the floor. The local sheriff’s department is currently looking into multiple threats to his life. Because, life! We care about it!

Tennessee

Tennessee’s HB 77 (companion bill to SB 1236) passed out of the state House in February by a vote of 66-21, but it failed in the state Senate Judiciary Committee because it is, as Lt. Gov. Randy McNally says, “constitutionally suspect.” (Not that “constitutionally suspect” is basically a defining feature of all these bills.) But the state House and Senate appear divided over whether they want to focus on a six-week bill or a trigger bill, and now they’re engaged in a zany comedy of errors. Don’t hold your breath, though — the six-week bill has been sent to “summer study,” so we’ll probably be seeing it again next session. Then again, Sen. Mark Pody has submitted a letter requesting that the bill be brought to the floor now, so who knows what might happen? It’s definitely not in any way a clusterfuck.

Iowa

Iowa’s six-week ban was signed into law in May of 2018 but never took effect because, of course, it violates the state constitution. The Polk County District Court deemed it “violative of both the due process and equal protection provisions of the Iowa Constitution as not being narrowly tailored to serve the compelling state interest of promoting potential life.” Iowa Gov. Kim Reynolds said she thinks the court got it wrong but that she sees “no path to successfully appeal the district court’s decisions or to get this lawsuit before the U.S. Supreme Court.”

Oh, come on, Kim, don’t get all discouraged like that! That kind of thing isn’t stopping any of the other states.

[sugrmottas]

(this genuinely isn't judgey fodpsapid) but quinn, puck and santana having rachel's ambition is...a lot.

i mean, it is.

it also isn’t.

like, rachel definitely outpaces all of them, don’t get me wrong – rachel has lived her life being told she is going to be successful, and i think that changes things. quinn grew up believing she was doomed to live the life of her mother, puck grew up being told he was just like his father (which is mostly fan-canon but i feel like there’s enough Illusions in actual canon to back it up) and santana grows up in what qualifies for the Hood (adjacent) in lima, ohio – but like, rachel grew up with dads who worship her. who tell her she is going to be amazing because she has to be. her peers always say cruel things, but rachel trusts her fathers so much more than she does her peers, so girl grows up knowing she will be successful, if she works for it.

but then there’s puck, too. puck who is a young jewish kid in what is predominately a protestant state (on that line: i know quinn’s evangelical but what is mercedes actually? where we given anything more than just plain christian? also sam? why did glee never expand on anything??? ugh) so already feels like a fish out of water – but he (canonically, at least) only has two peers his age who share the same faith. jacob ben israel, who is disgusting, even from a young age (is it canon that puck’s always bullied him?) and rachel, who i truly do believe he grew up knowing, even if i don’t think they were the best friends fanon likes to paint them as. he grows up in a heavily jewish household but in a community that does not share his faith, or even respect it, and that’s hard. add to it a burning desire to not become his father (i’m not sure if it’s actually canon that his mother told him he was just like his father, but it’s a headcanon i hold very close to my heart) and a mother working her ass off to provide for him and his sister, and kid is fucking angry.

so puck has anger issues, which i feel is mostly backed up in canon anyway – which is his passion. his ambition blooms from this – a burning desire to prove everyone wrong, the need to get the fuck out of lima. i do think finn and puck have a very deep friendship, but it’s one that adds to both of their insecurities. finn is the Golden Boy, he is (seen as) kind and talented. puck is the Bad Boy, he is charming and capable. they spend their lives being compared and i think puck is mostly reserved to coming second (hence his anger at finn going off-book and joining glee) but he also maintains that he Wants to beat finn, wants to be the best. puck has selfish ambition (but really, what ambition isn’t at least a little selfish?), but he has so much of it.

remember his first Real line? i’m not like everyone else in this cow town, i got star potential. kid makes it very clear he’s getting the fuck out of lima, no matter what his peers think. i do hate how glee handled him in s4 (he got out of lima sure, but he didn’t do anything, which i feel was such a disservice to him – he struggled with school because he isn’t a learner, but he’s always been a doer, let’s not forget the kid had an actual business at 16) but i hate what they did with most characters in s4, so i tend to ignore it for everyone bar the newbies and finn. the unravelling of klaine was interesting too, if only because we saw how co-dependent they actually were. otherwise fuck s4. (santana and rachel both had Moments, now that i think about it.)

anyway, like – of the four, i think puck has the least ambition. i also think he has a lot more purpose than say, santana, so his ambition is a lot more Realised. 

and then there’s santana, who i think has the clearest ambition in the show, even if it’s constantly overshadowed by rachel’s. i believe santana’s family is religious (her abuela definitely is but we don’t know too much about her parents actual lives despite actually meeting her mother, it’s of my personal belief they are religious but non-practising) but santana fails to perceive any proper value to religion.

(this is going somewhere, i swear.)

santana also doesn’t have a Great Big Dream, she eventually settles on wanting to be famous but that feels so much like a cop-out that i fail to see any value to it. she doesn’t particularly live for cheerleading or glee club either. 

what i’m getting at here is that if santana has ambition (she does, i’ll get to it) she doesn’t have purpose to go with it. and ambition without purpose can be fucking dangerous and santana is such a good example of that.

onto her ambition: i do think it’s pretty clearly shown within the show, even from the beginning of her character, as underdeveloped as she was. of the three cheerleaders, she’s the one who wholeheartedly throws herself into sabotaging the glee club – we don’t see too much of her in the first half of s1, but i believe she was working away at some of the weaker characters (read: artie, because santana lopez genuinely does read super prejudiced, but i’m probably still salty about her biphobia) until the back half came along and girl turned it up, went after finn hudson and took his virginity (i have so many feelings about finntana, mostly in a platonic sense but there was a glee meta years ago on them sleeping together that still sticks with me) and took so much pleasure in quinn fabray losing her status (quinn and santana read weirdly similar to finn and puck, but i don’t think their friendship is anywhere near as deep so they have less reason to empathise with each other) and girl was fucking messy.

it was great. i lived for it.

then s2 happened and we met santana lopez, properly – the girl from the hood (adjacent) who was so angry and so scared and wanted so much. and the season was full of ambition from her, even if stupid little ways – wanting to win the duet competition and knowing her and mercedes would be the match-up, knowing she wants to keep sleeping with brittany so tricking her into thinking it’s not cheating (we can talk about who was the real bad guy of the two of them for that for days but the correct answer is both, because brittany pierce is not as dumb as she seems but santana lopez still had full intent to make b cheat on artie), rejoining the cheerios at the first opportunity because she wants to win, no matter the consequences (i’m not sure how i feel about the three of them ditching the competition because it’s just a weird situation but this isn’t a finn hudson meta). and she cares about glee club a lot, of course, for a lot of reasons, but you cannot tell me she’s so upset about finn and rachel losing them the competition solely because… what? they ruined it for the club? no, they lost it for her. fuck them for that.

s3 is really the season i point to to prove the girl lacks purpose, so we’ll skip over that to s4 – santana is on her own, for the first time. she’s on a scholarship to a big school relatively far from home and she doesn’t handle it well, of course. gets super untethered. and then visits home and remembers Santana Lopez, The Star. so she goes to new york and still lacks purpose, sure, but she has a stage. she just has to figure out what part she’s playing.

and this is where the danger comes in, because santana sees her friends succeeding – rachel mostly, but kurt too – and gets restless. does stupid shit like her yeast-i-stat commercial. but most importantly, decides her life’s mission is playing fanny brice. which isn’t stupid on its own, but like, for someone who cares so much about her friends it reads so strange that she would actively go after something that clearly matters so much to what we pretty much assume is her best friend. the deterioration of rachel and santana’s friendship was written awfully so i won’t go into it, but like. god. someone give this girl a purpose so she has something worthwhile to invest herself in and stops sabotaging all her relationships.

so santana has bucketloads of ambition (i’d rank her third of the four) but she has nowhere to put it and it fucks her over every single time.

and then quinn. oh, quinn. ohhhhhhhh quinn.

quinn has so much fucking ambition – she has a life planner from age six. she details every moment of middle school, every moment of high school, every moment of college, every moment of life. she’s going to go to an ivy league college (she thinks she’d like brown, her dad went there, but yale sounds nice and freeing) and she’s going to study law and she’s going to become a family lawyer. she’s going to help kids get away from abusive parents and she’s going to make sure everyone she comes into contact with is safe and happy.

on the flipside, lucy quinn fabray is already resigned to living her mother’s life. doing a short course in real estate and then becoming a realtor. she’ll marry a nice boy, maybe finn hudson, and they’ll buy a house with a white picket fence and have 2.5 children and a dog. 

quinn fabray’s ambition is fucking tragic, because it was killed before even getting the chance to thrive – and it’s still there, of course. in some ways. when she tells finn she’s pregnant, she says i really thought i had a shot at getting out of here. when she’s wondering whether to give up drizzle or not, she knows she shouldn’t – her religion doesn’t look on the act kindly and i’ll never forgive glee for overlooking quinn’s faith post-s1 – but it would allow her to move on with her life.

quinn fabray is tragic, because she loses her future-husband to rachel berry, who has all of her ambition and none of her fear (or all of it, but quinn doesn’t get to see that, nobody gets to see that). she loses her husband to everything quinn wanted to be, and it’s awful.

s2 sees quinn not gaining her ambition back, as she hoped. or maybe as i hoped. s2 sees quinn getting back with finn. s2 sees quinn telling rachel that she’s wasting her time with lima because she’s going to be successful and they aren’t (or rather, quinn isn’t). 

but it comes back, eventually.

i don’t know when. s3 fucked quinn over so bad. but it comes back.

and she writes so many fucking essays about her emotionally neglectful father and her child who she loves so fucking much but had to give up and her friends, her glee club, who helped her through fucking everything.

it comes back.

quinn gets accepted into yale.

quinn gets accepted into yale.

rachel and kurt are (eventually) accepted into a prestigious performing arts school, which is perfect for them, but let me reiterate – quinn (and mike actualy) gains admission into one of the most prestigious schools in america. 

quinn fabray is going to be fucking amazing, and she knows it – she’s going to live her own life, the one her mom wanted to life, but was always too scared to pursue. quinn knows how short life is, she also know she can’t let anyone drag her down – quinn is going to motherfucking yale and she is going to be fucking wonderful. 

there’s a quote i’ve always used for quinn – i can’t abandon the girl i used to be, so i carry her. and quinn carries lucy with her every single fucking day – and lucy gets to see her ambition realised, gets to see herself succeed and become everything she dreamed of.

and it’s amazing.

so maybe nobody has rachel’s ambition, not really. but a lot of glee club have their own wild ambitions (mike, mercedes and tina all come to mind).

but i do genuinely think puck, santana and quinn all come very close to the standard rachel set, in such different ways. 

and i think that’s wonderful. 

[cosmicrecluse]

Heres the full memoir minus the boring academic part at the end

A Stand Taken by People No Taller Than 5 Feet

The trees were tall back then, much taller than they are now. Everything was bigger when I was that age. The year of Adventure Camp, the first advanced camp I’d been able to attend since I’d turned ten, was to be my best yet. I had grown to the age where I no longer experienced the homesickness that would strike younger children midweek. Camp had finally become the ultimate escapism from all the hardships of home.

This particular camp appeared as a traditional one, one that allowed children to hike and explore nature while also learning from it. Unfortunately, this was not what we got. The program had no hiking aside from following the path to and from the mess hall, no exploring aside from the occasional kid who would wander off path only to be dragged back, no “adventure” of any kind really.

The closest we ever got to nature were the few nights we built a fire and cooked a meal over it, a time when campers were finally set loose into the woods with minimal supervision to bring back fuel for our makeshift stove. The meal was never good, in all honesty, but watching the flames lick at the meats and vegetables as the sun slowly set made something in me need- no, require- to be freer.

One of the days, after the food was gone and our fire cooled, my need for real adventure had grown into a roaring hunger. Daylight had not yet fully disappeared but twilight made the sun appear red, the forest past our cabins somehow more wild. It was everything I’d wanted from the forest.

“Can I draw with that?” I asked one of our counselors, Scout, as I pointed to the blackened wood left in our firepit. Scout believed it to be an innocent request, but if she’d been able to see no more than half an hour into the future she most certainly would not have let me touch the scorched tinder.

“Of course, just don’t eat it, kiddo,” She allows with a joke, unaware of what she’d set into motion. With charcoal in hand, I quickly ran off to set to work.

Intricate and stylized, the markings I’d drawn onto my skin created a look similar to the ones I’d seen my own mother smear onto my brother and me during Halloween. They coated my arms and face, lines running to a central point at my eyes. I’d planned on running into the woods with what I thought was camouflage, I would hide within the thickening shadows and go on a real adventure.

More children gathered around me, gawking at the decorations I’d drawn. They wanted some of their own, wanted to join me. And so, more charcoal was harvested and more campers gained painted faces.

Once done, we believed we needed weapons in order to defend ourselves from the oh so dangerous Ohio wildlife. Sticks from our surroundings kindly offered themselves to us and were easily sharpened against concrete pathways and rocks. These, too, were covered with markings from our charcoal.

Our plot had gone unnoticed to the counselors, who must have thought it’d been nothing more than a game, something we were doing to pass the time before bed. Though, they had a surprise of their own for us.

“Come on adventurers, we’ve got something to tell you all!” Another counselor gathers us together, her voice chipper. This one was named Ghost, as she was our resident spook and monster expert.

The 20 or so of us form a circle, our bright, big eyes looking up at the people we’d known as adults at the time. Looking back, they were barely older than I am today. They towered over many of us, and we were to follow their commands to the T.

But now we’d grown restless of being followers, we were meant to be explorers and trailblazers, not sit like ladies. The group already began to shift where they stood, the tension thick enough to cut for us but seemingly invisible to our counselors.

“The popstar camp is coming for a dance party in a few minutes! So you guys should all wash your faces off and get ready!” Ghost smiled at all of us and we simply stared back. No one moves. The counselor’s glance at each other uncomfortably.

“Kids, Ghost gave you something to do,” The head counselor, Tiger, prompts. We stay in our places.

We were adventurers, not dancers, and after three days of being subjected to dull lectures and zero fun, we’d had enough. The campers would no longer follow orders from them.

“Put them in the cabin,” I said, having become a sort of leader to the band of girls. It was a simple request that the campers eagerly fulfilled. Three college-age adults stood no chance against over a dozen preteens who were hungry as rabid wolves for a taste of freedom.

The door is slammed shut after the three adults were stuffed into their shared cabin. Erin, a friend I’d made at the start of the week, forms a small team of campers who begin stacking the rocks we’d used to contain our fire to create a barricade.

No longer did we want to escape into the woods, our plans had changed with only a few words. Now was the time to liberate ourselves, at least in my head. A ten-year-old cannot be trusted to understand the world, but I knew that I wanted to own our campsite one way or another.

I take my place atop a small rock, lifting my barely sharpened stick above my head and shouting to my campers. Those not keeping our would-be counselor’s trapped hurry around me. They shout and call, beating their own play spears against the dirt in a chaotic sign of unity.

“What now?” a voice calls over the crowd, silencing the uproar. The voice belonged to Emily, the oldest of our campers. She was not one I’d befriended, but she was highly respected for her age of twelve, compared to our tens and elevens. The campers turned to me once again for orders.

“We’re gonna get the popstar girls and make sure they never come back here again,” I reply, a proud smile upon my face and my dinky spear pointed at the path the other camp would have to take. The suggestion is met with more animalistic howls and bellows, followed by pounding feet as the girls rush to the underbrush. I take a seat on my rock, soaking in the summer air thick violent anticipation.

Only a few minutes later, the path erupted in screaming and pounding feet. The popstar camp arrived, the ambush had begun. I take up my stick and join my campers in their chase. The other two counselors that’d arrived with this new group were promptly shoved into a cabin of their own, a new barricade beginning to be constructed to trap them as well.

As the sounds of screaming children, pounding fists against securely sealed doors, and the howling laughter of my newly feral campers filled the humid air, a thought entered my head. A simple thought, one that I, in my juvenile and power-mad state, believed to be just. In order to prevent another forced dance party, the droll days that had filled what was meant to be an adventurous week, the iron control of our counselors, a sacrifice had to be made.

I, being a child with an odd set of parents, had grown up learning of my Aztec ancestors. I had become used to the idea of killing a member of society to a bloodthirsty god in order to bring about peace.

With this knowledge, misinterpreted as it was, I called my campers to me once more. I reminded them of the tale of the Wumpus, a made of creature Ghost had sung a song about. It was a horrible beast that would snatch any child that wandered off path and steal their hair to replace the tail that it had lost.

Given that we were all young, stupid, and likely on the biggest adrenaline rushes of our short lives, multiple girls leaped at the chance to be made a sacrifice. Brianna, a girl who’d always been eager to be the first to any activity was quickly chosen.

A scarf was taken from a tent, rocks were gathered, and the girl tied to a small tree. While the pop star campers huddled together inside the community cabin that was meant to be a dance hall, we began singing the Wumpus Song Ghost had taught us in broken and ugly tones. As we did this, we struck the rocks together in an attempt to cause sparks as we’d seen our counselors do to light our cooking fire.

However, again, we were stupid and overly excited children, we did not know that the adults had used flint and steel, nor did we realize that the Wumpus was not real. But we continued on regardless; until a storm of adults from every camp arrived. Our rebellion, as I’ve come to call it, was squashed by threats of calling our parents.

[booklover4816]

Nope. Sounds pretty good if to me so far. What about Florida, Nevada, California, Utah, Mississippi, Oklahoma, West Virginia, Montana, and Washington. Sorry, gotta curious mind.

It’s okay! This is going to be long. One thing that you’ll quickly notice is that pretty much all of the states are tied into agriculture somehow. That’s because every state is part of the agricultural industry in someway and it’s the easiest thing for me to write about and use to tie them all together. Also, rural America doesn’t usually get a whole lot of love in most State fics.

Florida: Florida admittedly is hard for me to write. I have family who lives in Florida and I don’t want her to have any of their personality traits (because they’re awful people). I also need to do a lot more research. So far, Florida is a tough girl who is afraid of practically nothing, except driving in the snow. She loves gator hunting and fishing, but she also loves things like amusement parks, beaches, and politics (again, swing state). She also can’t stand any temperature below 55 degrees. Florida’s favorite hobby is growing oranges and she and California are in the middle of a fruit war with each other (who has the best oranges). She speaks fluent Spanish (mainly Cuban). She has wavy brunette hair (that is extremely frizzy due to the constant humidity) and gray eyes. Like I said, her personality is still under construction.

Nevada: Nevada was is known as the Battle Born State due to joining the Union in the middle of the Civil War, and her personality shows it. She seems cold on the outside mostly because she was brought up in the aftermath of the Civil War and saw first hand, at a very young age, what it had done to her siblings. She seems kind of aloof and has a bit of a pessimistic view on the world. But, once she opens up to someone, you’ll find her to be a very loving and caring person. She’s smart as a whip when it comes to science and gambling (even though she’s not supposed to) and she’s also an excellent shot (always carries a gun, and has named it Las Vegas). She’s chasing New Mexico away from Area 51 (Roswell, so he loves aliens), but she’s also always looking out for him and shares his love of science and aliens.Other than that, I need to do a bit more research on Nevada. This is just the basis of her personality. Appearance wise, she has long black hair as a reference to her Native American heritage and warm brown eyes. She also speaks Spanish and Navajo and always wears a pair of sunglasses that she has affectionately called Carson City.

California: California is a little like America in this story: the way she acts depends on who she’s around. She’s a big sister and kind of motherly to Hawaii, Arizona, and Nevada. She’s rivals with Florida and Texas (though she wouldn’t hesitate to stand up for them if someone was bothering them). She’s agriculturally focused when she’s around the Midwest and Colorado, Wyoming, and Montana (California is the US’s number one producer of agricultural products). She enjoys being a nerd with Washington, especially concerning tech and business, and being an outdoorsy hippy-like person with Oregon. And of course to anyone outside of her family, she’s a complete airhead. She likes portraying herself to strangers as the stuck up, ditzy  Hollywood type, but in all actuality is extremely smart, focused, hardworking, and driven. She truly is America’s daughter.She’s extremely beautiful with glossy, wavy brunette hair (she’s lucky and always has a good hair day) and sapphire eyes. She also has a permanent tan and can pass a Mexico’s sister (Mexico is actually her aunt by blood, and they are very close). She’s also one of the only states that has a mother (the Californian Republic was briefly independent). She speaks Spanish, Chinese, Japanese, Tagalog, and a few other languages.

Utah: Utah’s one that I need to do a lot of research on. The extent of my knowledge on Utah currently is Great Salt Lake, Mormons, honeybees, and skiing. It’s pathetic, I know but I’m planning on doing research before I write her chapter. So far, though, she does have a basic personality. Religion is a very important aspect of her life; however she doesn’t really identify with a specific one out of respect to all of the people in her state, so she’s more spiritual. She’s very active and outdoorsy; she enjoys skiing, hiking, and mountain climbing with the other Four Corners States. She also is a huge supporter of the National Parks, and hers are her pride and joy (Utah has a ton of National Parks). And then, Utah is the Beehive State, so I want to incorporate that into her characterization but I’m not quite sure how I want to do that yet. She has brown hair and green eyes.

Mississippi: Once upon a time, America tried to raise Mississippi like a lady (this was back in the early 1800’s), but then Alabama came along and that was the end of that. Mississippi is a tomboy, much like Ohio. She loves football and hunting and doing other stuff that would have been considered “boyish” when she was small. Still, she loves cooking with Georgia and Louisiana and hanging out with Alabama and Florida. She tends to be more conservative; however, she personally prefers making informed decisions and sticking to her morals. Again, I need to do more research on Mississippi, especially before I decide how I want to address the Civil Rights issues with Mississippi’s past.

Oklahoma: Out of all of her siblings, Oklahoma is closest to Texas. They really are two peas in a pod and share a lot of interests: ranching, rodeos, food, religion,(though both, like Utah, are non-denominational out of respect for all of their citizens), music, etc. She is actively involved with her Native American heritage and speaks many native languages as well as Spanish. She’s very sweet and kind and takes everything that America says to heart, always obeying what he tells her to do and taking his words literally. She has shoulder length brunette hair and green eyes. And again, I need to do more research on Oklahoma before I start tying history to her personality.

West Virginia: I get so many reviews about West Virginia and he hasn’t even appeared yet, but I get it. Many people write West Virginia as a stupid hillbilly, which I guess is kind of the stereotype outside of the state, and that’s just offensive. So, West Virginia is outdoorsy. He just loves being outside and being active. He also enjoys doing things with people he’s close to, and he doesn’t really care what it is: playing football with Ohio, spending a day in D.C. with Virginia, hunting with Pennsylvania. As long as he has fun and he’s bonding with one of his siblings, he doesn’t mind.He suffers from slight social anxiety, but once he trusts someone, he’s super friendly. He loves history and his favorite activity is touring abandoned mines (he used to work in them, but America wasn’t too fond of that and child labor laws…) He has light red hair (a nod to his Scottish and Irish heritage) that’s light enough to pass as strawberry blonde in some lighting, and brown eyes. He actually shares these traits with Virginia (as a nod to the fact they used to be the same state), though Virginia’s color is closer to brunette, but he absolutely hates this. He strives to make himself stand out from Virginia so people don’t mistake them for twins (they’re not) and he hates her constant mothering of him. But still, he’s closest to Virginia.

Montana: What can I say about Montana? Well, for one, America is the only one allowed to call her by her human name; everyone else has to call her Montana (her human name’s a secret for now; some of her own siblings don’t even know it). She has brunette hair and violet eyes (same shade as Canada’s). She’s kind of Canada-like in that she’s nice and polite to everyone, but she’s not afraid to stand her ground. She’s hardened due to the weather and terrain, but she loves being outdoors under the big sky. She’s a rancher, one of the few states that keeps the tradition alive. She likes to hunt and fish. Overall, she’s just hardworking and dedicated. I need to do more research on her history.

Washington: Washington’s kind of a nerd, especially when it comes to tech and business. He usually always has his nose stuck in a book and a coffee in hand. But that’s not to say that he’s not willing to get his hands dirty. If he needs to, he’s capable of and more than willing to do hard, physical labor. He and Oregon have this rivalry going on — it’s slightly reminiscent of the Ohio-Michigan rivalry (and those two egg it on; Ohio backs Oregon and Michigan backs Washington). I was actually told by someone from Oregon that their relationship is kind of Ohio-Michigan and it also has something to do with land. He’s also extremely professional. He has icy blue eyes and black hair. Again, I need to do more research on Washington.

Really, I still have a lot of research to do, which is why most of what I’ve given you is very non-specific. I really don’t want to offend anyone, and with some states, you get into some very sensitive topics that can easily and justifiably upset someone when they’re applied incorrectly.

Sorry for taking so long to answer. I meant to finish this earlier in the week, but I got distracted with school work. If you have any suggestions that you’d like to see, please feel free to let me know.

[racingtoaredlight]

College Football 2020 Season Week 10 TV Watch Em Ups: Some of these games will even be played

These are bad times for living but there is a slight shadow of hope. Hope doesn’t normally cast a shadow but, you know, bad times. Dark around the sun. Clouds for months. We live in a bog. Follow me on twitter for more mirth!

This is the way the games are listed right now at about midnight Eastern but the dominos they are a-fallin’. We might see some more cancellations / postponements but you know the rules by now. Shit’s not getting updated on this site unless there is something really crazy going on. Like one of the proprietors of the site actually looking at it during the day. Highly improbable, as you well know. Bad info (incorrect kickoff times, wrong channel listed, flip-flopped lines) is not my fault. Bad takes are all me. Just keep the good ones in mind when you are painting my portrait.

Saturday, November 14

Matchup                                                     Time (ET)                   TV/Mobile

9 Miami (FL) at Virginia Tech                     12:00pm                       ESPN

Virginia Tech is favored by 2.5 and I am legitimately puzzled. What is Vegas expecting here? Miami has been underwhelming at times but the Hokies have actually been bad for the most part.

10 Indiana at Michigan State                     12:00pm                        ABC

Sure, Indiana is undefeated and ranked #10 but this season shouldn’t count and they’re still Indiana. I laughed when Michigan State beat Michigan two weeks ago and I’ll do it again if they knock Indiana off their pedestal. To be fair, Sparty getting run the fuck over would also be funny. B1G 2020 - it’s even worse than it looks!

Vanderbilt at Kentucky                               12:00pm                        SECN

These two long-time SEC rivals should have more cancellations in their series history.

TCU at West Virginia                                   12:00pm                         FOX

Go WFV. I feel that in my heart but there’s no magic here.

Wake Forest at North Carolina                   12:00pm                       ACCN

I was happy for UNC when they were #5 but I also want to see them buried under the graveyard. The duality of man.

Western Carolina at 22 Liberty                    12:00pm                       ESPNU

Vegas Insider doesn’t have a line listed for this game so I guess Western Carolina is FCS but I really don’t ever know anymore. Especially in the mid-Adlantic region. Liberty had an all-time great stupid game ending last week so it would be perfect if they lose the rest of their games and we can forget all about this tragedy of a season that has Liberty ranked every week.

Middle Tennessee at 16 Marshall                12:00pm                      CBSSN

This is probably my backup for the Canes game but I can’t tell you anything about either team as of now.

Army at Tulane                                               12:00pm             ESPN2/ESPN+

On paper this isn’t even the worst game with a noon kickoff this week and let me tell you why that has my heart just glowing.

Penn State at Nebraska                                12:00pm                        FS1

Teenage me would have been overjoyed at the prospect of 1994′s co-National Champions playing in a nationally televised showdown of winless teams in November 2020. Is that weird? Sure, but I still hate both of these programs and love to see them struggle. Penn State has to win this one, I reckon, but there is still an outside chance at a cancellation. If we can end this season with zero wins for Penn State then all the risks were worth it.

Illinois at Rutgers                                           1:00pm                          BTN

Here is yet another example of a game that should have been cancelled in a non-pandemic year.

South Alabama at 25 Louisiana                     2:00pm                        ESPN+

A 6-1 Sun Belt team with a top 25 ranking is a clear indication that this season needed to be over before it started. This is madness.

Fresno State at Utah State                             2:30pm                           FS2

This is not a midday kind of game and, as such, should also be cancelled. Or at least pushed back 8 hours for the sake of aesthetics.

Georgia State at Appalachian State              2:30pm                       ESPN+

I have the song “Kill Em All” stuck in my head but the word kill is replaced with cancel. The meter does not work at all but it’s close enough for me and it’s my only comment on this game.

UTEP at UTSA                                                  3:00pm                       ESPN+

If you want to see the nation’s second leading rusher, his name is Sincere McCormick and he plays for UTSA. Yes, he is now second.

Louisville at Virginia                                         3:30pm                       ACCN

Great matchup of horrible teams that don’t always seem horrible.

Southern Miss at WKU                                    3:30pm                      CBSSN

There is no way to carry any self respect watching this shitty game, imagine writing about it? Imagine reading my writing about it? Goddammit, man, it might be time to give up on football altogether.

Texas State at Georgia Southern                    3:30pm                     ESPN3

Pure unadulterated misery.

USF at Houston                                                 3:30pm           ESPN2/ESPN+

I love it when these two programs thrive but this is not one of those years and the idea of actually watching this game this year is wholly unappealing.

2 Notre Dame at Boston College                            3:30pm                 ABC

Until beating Clemson last week the last time Notre Dame had beaten a #1 team was 1993 when they outlasted Florida State in one of the most mercilessly hyped games in college football history. Florida State dropped all the way to #2 in the polls and Notre Dame followed up that high with a loss to an unranked Boston College team. You know what they say about history - those who don’t remember how funny it is for Notre Dame to lose to Boston College are in for a real treat if it happens again.

Colorado at Stanford                                                3:30pm                ESPN

Great uniform matchup. Still rooting for the cancellation.

20 USC at Arizona                                                     3:30pm                FOX

UPDATE!: I still hate USC.

Hawaii at San Diego State                                       4:00pm      Spectrum PPV

I saw last week that you can download an app that lets you watch Hawaii games for free but I think you have to cast it from your phone to the TV for some reason. Also, I forget what the app is called.

Eastern Kentucky at Central Arkansas                   4:00pm               ESPN3

Is there a trophy for this game? Is it a rivalry? If it’s a rivalry and they don’t have a trophy already then I’d like to suggest awarding a barrel of moonshine to the winning team.

Baylor at Texas Tech                                                 4:00pm                  FS1

Look at this beautiful SWC shit being ruined by existing in 2020. Related: how did Baylor manage to do so much embarrassing shit as a school after the SWC collapsed?

23 Northwestern at Purdue                                       5:00pm                 BTN

I’ve mentioned it in these posts plenty of times but I have a truly inexplicable hatred for Northwestern.

Pittsburg State at Stephen F. Austin                         5:00pm              ESPN3

Without doing a modicum of research I’ve concluded that Stephen F. Austin transitioned to FBS this year but their schedule is still set to NAIA.

Nevada at New Mexico                                              6:30pm                FS2

How are there still so many games that haven’t been cancelled yet?

19 SMU at Tulsa                                                           7:00pm             ESPN2

SMU is #19 and I know there are no good teams this year but I feel it in my heart that this is too high for SMU to be ranked.

Arkansas at 6 Florida                                                  7:00pm              ESPN

I’m too busy being baffled by the amount of football being played to dispense with too much half-assed gambling advice this week but Arkansas +17 seems like the easiest play of any line I’ve looked at.

11 Oregon at Washington State                                  7:00pm               FOX

The only reason to play this game would be to try to give Mike Leach COVID but he isn’t even coaching Washington State anymore.

South Carolina at Mississippi                                      7:30pm             SECN

In a world full of COVID this game is an STD. The racist south is going to be wearing some stars & stripes themed uniforms, I think, which isn’t really markedly different than their Confederacy-themed normal look.

Florida State at NC State                                              7:30pm            ACCN

FSU is currently at the lowest point that any of the big three Florida programs has been at in my entire life. NC State is favored by 10.5 and that seems too low by half. NC State being unranked is very fair and they are still, from what I’ve seen, easily good for beating Florida State by 21. What a fucking world.

13 Wisconsin at Michigan                                             7:30pm          ABC

Michigan is totally going to win this game. It is written in the stars.

Temple at UCF                                                               7:30pm        ESPNU

Just realized it’s Tulane that’s playing Army. When I wrote the capsule I was thinking of Temple. Oh, well, nothing we can do about that now.

UNLV at San Jose State                                                10:30pm         FS2

There is no reason for this game to be played.

Oregon State at Washington                                         11:00pm        FS1

Has UDub really fallen this far this fast (again) or are they just forgotten? Let’s all agree to not find out.

GAMES OF THE WEEK

Memphis at Navy                                             Postponed

3 Ohio State at Maryland                                Canceled

Gardner-Webb at Charlotte                            Canceled

Air Force at Wyoming                                     Canceled

North Texas at UAB                                         Postponed

Arizona Christian at Abilene Christian          Canceled

1 Alabama at LSU                                            Postponed

Rice at Louisiana Tech                                    Postponed

12 Georgia at Missouri                                    Postponed

15 Coastal Carolina at Troy                            Postponed

[districofcolumbiaprelawland-blog]

The Case Of Charles Manson: How A Broken System Cultivated A Spree Killer

By Esra Aydogdu, The George Washington University Class of 2023

September 22, 2020

In January of 1971, cult leader Charles Milles Manson was convicted on 9 counts of first-degree murder and 1 count of conspiracy to murder. Often coined the “trial of the century”, Manson’s murder trial remains one of the most publicized trials in history. The actions of Manson and his cult, the Manson Family, garnered significant media attention; yet, little know about the life this man had before the series of murders he committed.

Charles Milles Manson was born in 1934 to 16-year-old Kathleen Maddox, with a father that had left them before his birth. Kathleen drank heavily and spent time in and out of prison throughout Manson’s childhood; due to the neglect from his mother, he was left alone for long periods of time and tossed around from family member to family member.At one point, Manson’s mother sold him to a waitress in return for beer, which his uncle ended up searching for and finding him a couple of days later.[1] At age 9, Manson began stealing; three years later, he was sent to the Gibault School for Boys, which would be the first of countless reform schools and institutions.[2]Gibault was known for the strict punishments given for even the smallest acts of disobedience, which Manson responded to by running away ten months later. He fled to his mother, who rejected him–a pattern that repeated throughout Manson’s life up until his first murders.[3] Without anywhere to go, the 13-year-old managed to get along through small crimes of theft. The remaining years of his adolescent life consisted of an endless cycle of getting caught, being placed in reform schools, and running away. Manson faced very harsh treatment, in which he was raped and repeatedly beaten in many of these facilities. In the Indiana Boys School, for instance, a report from the superintendent exposed the treatment that had long been hidden from the public–the children were put on wooden racks “with their ass up in the air” and beaten with large leather straps; when the leather straps were not doing enough, the guards would “take them out in the cornfield and beat the piss out of them.”[4] Hidden records also revealed that multiple instances occurred in which Manson was beaten so harshly that he had to receive treatment at a hospital.[5]

Throughout the years, Manson slowly began becoming more and more violent in these institutions, with reports of sexually abusing fellow inmates. Psychiatric evaluations of him showed that he had become “totally dependant on institutional life and had anxiety over leaving the security of confinement.”[6] After 22 years of reform schools and prisons, Manson was finally released in March of 1967; he begged the guards and officers to let him stay in the facility, fearing that he would not be able to adjust to the outside world. The officers denied his request and released him, and within 2 years of release, Manson’s cult was formed and his first murders were committed. Of the 22 years Manson had spent in prison, records show that 17 of them “were spent in federal facilities for crimes that, under state jurisdiction, would carry sentences totaling less than five years.”[7]

Two important considerations to make when analyzing the development of this spree killer are child neglect within the family and abuse within juvenile institutions. Child maltreatment is a term that refers to all forms of child abuse, including but not limited to: physical abuse, mental abuse, exploitation, and neglect. A significant relationship exists between child maltreatment and acts of criminal behavior later on in one’s life, as the National Bureau of Economic Research finds that a child that has faced maltreatment is nearly two times as likely to commit a crime than one that has not.[8] Charles Manson faced serious neglect–he spent his entire childhood without a father figure and a mother that rejected him multiple times, attempted selling him away, and left him alone for days.

Going into his first reform school, he was already facing psychological problems, which was only heightened by the mistreatment he faced in 22 years of institutions and prisons. He was not offered any opportunities for rehabilitation, which is the key goal of the juvenile justice system. After several psychiatric evaluations, it was concluded that he was showing serious signs of mental instability and psychiatric treatment was recommended, yet none was given to him. The physical abuse he faced including sexual assault and beatings added onto this, slowly but steadily deteriorating his mental state. His last words before being convicted of murder were:

I haven’t decided yet what I am or who I am. I was given a name and a number and I was put in a cell and I have lived in a cell with a name and a number…. I never went to school, so I never growed up in the respect to learn, to read and write too good. So I stayed in jail and I have stayed stupid, and I have stayed a child while I have watched your world grow up. . . . I have ate out of your garbage cans to stay out of jail. I have wore your second-hand clothes. I have done my best to get along in your world and now you want to kill me. . . . Ha! I’m already dead, have been dead all my life. I’ve lived in your tomb that you built. I did seven years for a $37.50 check. I did 12 years because I didn’t have any parents. . . . When you were out riding your bicycle, I was sitting in your cell looking out the window and looking at pictures in magazines and wishing I could go to high school and go to the proms, wishing I could go to the things you could do, but oh so glad, oh so glad, brothers and sisters, that I am what I am.[9]

The case of Charles Manson is one of many examples that shine light on the needed changes in the juvenile justice system. Issues of not providing adequate psychiatric help, cruel and unusual punishments in facilities, and a lack of rehabilitation efforts all raise questions to the treatment of America’s youth within the justice system.

________________________________________________________________

[1]Rosenberg, J. (n.d.). Biography of Charles Manson, Cult Leader and Mass Murderer. Retrieved September 08, 2020, from https://www.thoughtco.com/charles-manson-cult-leader-serial-killer-1779365

[2] Manson Family Murders Fast Facts. (2020, July 28). Retrieved September 12, 2020, from https://www.cnn.com/2013/09/30/us/manson-family-murders-fast-facts/index.html

[3] Wooden, K., & Heide, K. M. (2000). No Name Maddox: Case History of Charles Manson. In Weeping in the playtime of others: America's incarcerated children (pp. 47-57). Columbus: Ohio State University Press.

[4] Ibid.

[5] Ibid.

[6] Ibid.

[7] Ibid.

[8] Curry, J., &Tekin, E. (2006, April). Does Child Abuse Cause Crime? [PDF]. Cambridge: National Bureau of Economic Research. https://www.nber.org/papers/w12171.pdf

[9] Wooden, K., & Heide, K. M. (2000). No Name Maddox: Case History of Charles Manson. In Weeping in the playtime of others: America's incarcerated children (pp. 47-57). Columbus: Ohio State University Press.