#never felt more confused
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sapphoherselz · 5 days ago
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met a trump supporter (in Italy, may I add) who...really enjoys the hunger games and the way the author inserts politics into the story...?
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flowersandfashion · 7 months ago
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The opposite of a haunting is something very lonely, Katie Maria /// there's a little girl in my head, @heavensickness /// Little Girl Looking Downstairs at Christmas Party (1964) by Norman Rockwell /// Changing, Liv Ullmann /// found photograph with my words /// what they don't tell you, @tryworks /// Anne with an E, A Strong Effort of the Spirit of Good (3x07) /// Time Travel by Emhahee /// Second Wave (2023) by Amy Dury /// Katie Maria
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iceclew · 6 months ago
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Did I accidently write more than just a few lines of dialogue for this scene?... *shyly fumbling with fingers* 🥹👉👈 maybe...
Sorry, I suck at words and this isn't betaread nor properly proofread and I am not native english, I'm very sorry in advance...
full story down below
(Chappel Roan - Love me Anyway)
(Benson Boone - Slow it Down)
"VICE-CAPTAIN!!!!"
The tiny moving plush-like thing in his hand apparently started screaming as well now.
"WHY ALWAYS MEEE!?!?"
What looked like the chibi mini-version of the Defence Force's biggest trump card, struggled to hold on his thumb, kicking around those little feet of his.
"Well, now I'm quite curious abut THAT story..."
"I CAN'T TURN BACK AND I AM T I N Y !!! (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )"
"I see that... How'd you even get in here?"
Tiny #8 stopped fidgeting a bit. Instead two unproportionally big round dark eyes goggled at him. It was undeniably adorable to look at. "Well after THIS happened, I couldn't grab my phone on the table anymore, so I ran around to find someone, but I figured Narumi and Kikoru would very likely take advantage of my situation and do something stupid with me."
"Oh yeah, they definitely would and I get why, honestly."
"So I ran around to find you, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW BIG THE 1st DIVISION IS, WHEN YOU'RE LIKE THIS, OK?! And then I saw the slightly opened window and just crawled in... ༼☯﹏☯༽"
"Wait... you know where my temporary place in the 1st Division is located? Why?"
"....Coincidence? (*゚ー゚) "
He sighed. "Well just when you think you saw everything...Kafka Hibino enters the stage..."
"SIR, WHAT SHOULD I DO?? WHY ARE THESE THINGS ALWAYS HAPPENING TO ME??"
"you really want me to answer that, bud?", he barely tried to hide the undertone of his voice, which left the small creature on the palm of his hand baffled for a second.
"Wha-? HEY, MEAN!! What are you on about!?"(>д<)
"Yeah, maybe, I don't know STOP CHANGING in general, like I told you f.ex.. or maybe stick to your training routine without going OVERBOARD on a regular basis? How 'bout that?"
The big dark round eyes got even bigger with every word spoken.
"Yeah, don't look at me like that, I might coincidently got wind of stuff, you know?"
His unexpectedly open and emotional response threw Kafka off. For a second he forgot about his *tiny* main problem, his mind jumped between confused and worried and he couldn't comprehend with his reaction for now. After some awkward seconds in silence, Hoshina's tone grew significantly calmer, but still sort of off to his usual self-assured expression. "Well at least this time you're actually telling me about stuff that bothers you, huh?"
Silence again. While hanging from the palm of his Vice-Captain's hand Kafka realized something (besides his size) was different. His senses grew more aware of his surroundings to find answers.
"Are... are you drunk, sir?"
Besides the slight scent of alcohol in the air, and the - well quite obvious - bottle of sake on the table, the startled twitch on his face confirmed Kafka's guess was right. Other than the sake the only other thing on the table were some snacks. Another odd thing to Kafka, who was used to see Hoshina's surroundings stuffed with documents, loose papers, books and other work related things.
The silence lingered around them uncomfortably. To Kafka's suprise Hoshina was seemingly struggling with words. A look on his face Kafka couldn't remember seeing before. Now his mind definitely jumped to 'worried'.
Hoshina tried to mimic an insulted face and looked away. "A little tippsy at most... I'm off-duty for tonight.." Besides the slightly blushed nose and cheeks, Kafka now noticed some dark circles under red eyes. "..and despite my gut telling me better, I assumed I probably won't be needed anymore today, and that I could hang loose a little. It's not my Division after all, there's another Captain and Vice-Captain in charge here. So I might as well make use of that chance... Should have known, it would end up that way or another.. " He smiled a bit and Kafkas felt like his heart clenching from the sight. "Although I definitely should have placed my bet on YOU to be the reason for that." He chuckled lightly, while his expressions grew somewhat softer.
"I'm sorry, Sir."
"Nah, it's fine. As if I didn't get used to your-"
"I never put much thought to it, but ever since the Defence Force started preparing for the big counter attack on #9 your workload must've at least doubled in the 3rd and 1st Division.. and here I am still taking over the rest of your time as well..."
"Don't like where this is going, officer... You're not starting pitying me, are ya?"
"No I-...I just feel like.. I didn't realize, and there for not appreciated your work enough.." Silence. "And also.." The tiny kaiju had his look glued to the floor in front of him for a while now. "I know you told me to brush it off earlier but,... I truly regret ... not telling you about... #8 n'stuff.. I'm sorry... I'd change that if I could.."
A small plushy-sized Kaiju was gently put back on the ground again. Hoshina scratched his nose for a second, before bending far back to the other side of the room. He grabbed for his smartphone that was burried in piles of carelessly pushed aside documents.
"As I said. You're here now, aren't ya?" When he got his phone he chose to stay laid down on the floor and started typing something on the lightened screen.
A tiny transformed Kafka carefully made his way around and walked up on eye-level with Hoshina's face again. Once again overwhelmed by his current state of being, he let himself fall back on the floor and sat on the ground. "So... what should I do?"
"The first thing WE do is trying to make some calls. But since you seem to be in no life-threatening condition, we might have to wait 'till tomorrow for a first medical examination. If that's the case you'll stay, and I get you down to the lab first thing in the morning."
"Wait!" The tiny Kaiju made a suprisingly far jump right up to Hoshina's chest and pressed the (for him very big) red hang-up button on the screen with both paws. "You're right about that, I won't die this second from being tiny, so we might as well wait for tomorrow."
The questioning look on the opposite's face made a tiny Kafka look away and scratch his neck shyly. "Well, since you're ... I dunno,... I feel like, I can't have you be seen d-dru- .. like this by other officials of the 1st Division, b-because of me..."
A finger poked his forehead, which caused a tiny being like him to fall right back landing on warm soft fabric of Hoshina's shirt.
"Idiot. But you might be right about that."
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gazumirei · 6 months ago
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the pressure fandom right now
#pressure#roblox pressure#pressure roblox#pressure game#pressure sebastian#sebastian pressure#sebastian solace#sebastian roblox#Like bro I have never felt this much “pressure”🤪 with fandom drama before like#like holy hell#I just feel mixed feelings about this entire situation#Like one second I see someone talking shit about the dev team and the fandom while trying to Spread a false Narrative#About zerum and then I see someone defending the dev team and the fandom#Or seeing people deconstruct this entire Situation and just boil it done to people being childish about someone else's character and#Boundaries or I'm seeing horror stories about zerum and zeal and other dev members getting doxxed and harassed#And then I'm seeing people getting pissy about the whole thing because of shipping drama or I'm seeing people calling zeal out for#ableism or something else entirely#Like I get where people are coming from with this#This isn't the only time people got mad at a character for put boundaries on their character#And I know it would be the last time unfortunately#I'm not trying to defend zeal or zerum nor am I trying to get people to hurt them#I just feel awful about this whole thing and it's just a reminder to stick to smaller fandoms where people are less vocal ig#ok i'm done yapping#Selfshippers live your best life#And I hope the rest of the dev team recovers from this and try to learn how to be more Professional#Once again#I'm not trying to defend anyone I'm just confused and scared of this whole thing#I just wanted to make silly crossover art with sebastian and not have the fear of someone coming into my inbox or dms with my full name#For once :(#thank you for coming to my semi vent ted talk about the current pressure fandom issue
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satoruxx · 8 days ago
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listen i loveeeee eng dub caleb i think his va absolutely ate that shit up and the dialogue is so so good... but CN DUB CALEB????? oh my god... it's so much more ANGSTY bc wdym he literally says "your biggest mistake was thinking i'd always be willing to go along with being your big brother. i'm sick of playing these "being a family" games with you..."
I WANTED MY GEGE TROPE AND I GOT IT UGH </////3
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kacievvbbbb · 10 days ago
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Okay new take on the angst.
Neither Shanks nor Mihawk die (yay!) but Yoru shatters instead and Mihawk wishes it was him instead.
In a nice parallel to how Mihawk shattered Zoro’s two nameless swords like it was nothing Zoro uses these three great and kind of cursed swords to slowly and painstakingly chip by chip shatter the greatest blade in existence and even tho he’s still breathing Mihawk dies right along side it.
Honestly I don’t see a future where Zoro breaks mihawks sword and lets him live he has to much honor for that has to much respect for Mihawk both as a great swordsman and as a mentor figure. Knows what it means to die proudly with your blade in your hands so I think he’d think it quite cruel to shatter Yoru and then not give Mihawk the honor of death. So like even if he did I think it would be kind of on accident (like he wasn’t deliberately making precise blows to shatter the sword it just kind of happens) and Zoro has spent to much time with Luffy and shanks to kill Mihawk, has spent to much time with Mihawk has witnessed the boredorm and discontent he faces and it’s all complicated. So he Gives him the same lesson Mihawk gave him three scars down the chest from shoulder to hip tells him to come challenge him again.
Either way Mihawk is here scars down his chest for everyone to see and no sword and he has never been more scared or more empty in his life. But shanks is just glad that he’s here and that makes it so much worse.
Because now he feels like he’s just another thing Shanks has to protect. He’s weak and Mihawk hasn’t felt weak in a long time can’t remember a time when he felt there was a challenge that he couldn’t face. But living life after this might be the hardest challenge he has ever faced. There wasn’t supposed to be an after this was supposed to be it. His escape from the monotony a way to go out as honorable to the life that he had lived as he can be. And yet, here he is…..with Shanks, and he has nothing to offer him.
Mihawk is not a good man, not in the way Shanks and Luffy and even Zoro are. He’s selfish, capricious, haughty, callous, casually cruel and all these other adjectives that have never mattered to him before because he was also strong. His strength was all he had to offer and he has never felt as weak as he does now. Why would shanks want that? Why would shanks trade in an equal, a rival someone who could meet him at the top, why would he trade thay in for just another person to worry about. Mihawk wouldn’t (doesn’t think he would but he doesn’t know anymore) Mihawk left him at his lowest moment because of strength and he expects, demands, that shanks do the same.
Unlike Shanks he has nothing else to offer there is no deeper than this but Shanks is just glad that he’s here and what does it mean that he is still here?
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Also this is very shanks to Mihawk coded because shanks has always know that this is exactly who Mihawk was there was no deeper (and maybe there where certain things he hoped he could learn) but Shanks has always known and has always accepted him for exactly who he is. There is no question in his mind that Mihawk will pick up a sword and get stronger again (maybe never as strong as he was but that’s okay too) not because that’s what Shanks expects but because that’s who Mihawk is
#mishanks#living past your expiration date will never not be an amazing concept for a character when done well#mihawks sword is this very real physical part of him and I wanted to kind of explore what he would feel like if he had to part with her#but still have to live on#I just kind of like the idea of Mihawk suddenly gaining all this self doubt and self consciousness#still on my journey to make my self sad as possible about these two middle aged men#all these things that he’s never really felt before because he’s always had his strength always been confident in it#and now he’s just floundering#he’s never cared if he was good enough for shanks because strength was all that mattered they matched strengths they were equals#but now the balance is all over the place Mihawk doesn’t have his sword doesn’t know who he is and now he’s scared that shanks will realize#he’s not good and he will have nothing else to offer him#and god watch me dig my own grave#also Yoru is Mihawk’s soul made physical form pretty sure he no longer knows who he is without the great blade#would actually be unrecoverable if something happened to her. Mihawk insane with grief#shanks of course is absolutely gutted as Mihawks very warped and confused ideas of love are all layed bare#but it does make alot of things and left arm gate make much more sense in hindsight#one piece#dracule mihawk#throwing thoughts to the void#op#hawkeye mihawk#akagami no shanks#shanks#red haired shanks#akataka#red hair shanks#roronoa zoro#zoro one piece#one piece meta#mihawk x shanks
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thepoisonroom · 10 months ago
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'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.
I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.
About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'
-Casey Plett, Consciousness
#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it#i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition#but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body#not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways#but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth#valuing and exploring and treasuring#i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible#but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body?#it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head#and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude#this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example#like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than#violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body#to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities#like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia#so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you#even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by#what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems#Casey Plett#she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her#this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger#i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial#she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies#that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era#it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it#i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience#said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip#personal nonsense
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fanficlerontheroof · 2 years ago
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otomehonyaku · 5 months ago
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my otakatsu have certainly been fruitful these past six months. can you tell I have a preference? good lord
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thetardisisnotourdivision · 4 months ago
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Hey did I ever tell y'all about the time I dreamed that I had a baby daughter called Ellie that began with my finding out I was pregnant and ended on like her third birthday?
I legitimately woke up thinking "I should go check on Ellie" and then realised she was never real and when I tell you I SOBBED. I've been haunted by an implacable sense of loss ever since. Did I travel to another dimension? Wtf happened because that was insane.
#I'm not even joking when I say it felt REAL#I have this baby doll (it was my mum's when she was a kid and I have it now) that sometimes I just hold and it makes me feel better???#Did I astral project into another life?????#Was it just a really fucking intense fever dream??????#For the record I was like fifteen I have never even done the do let alone had a pregnancy scare#But yeah my little Ellie#And she never fuckin existed#I woke up halfway through planning her birthday party like baking a cake or sm and I was thinking#“I'll give her the little green cardigan I knitted”#Woke up to a silent house and was like “she's never usually quiet this time in the morning”#Then realised what had happened and started CRYING#idk man it's insane#From a psychological point of view it's fascinating but I've tried and tried to analyse the dream and?????#I always come up with something different???? I can't pinpoint the actual cause and effect of the whole thing?????#Madness honestly#And it was just a normal day too nothing weird had happened it wasn't a coma and I wasn't knocked out it was just a Dream#A very very real one#For the record I don't think Ellie had a father#I think it was just an immaculate conception that nobody ever questioned#Might have been IVF now I think about it#That would make more sense#dream#weird dreams#Ig I should add a grief trigger warning???#tw grief#one time i dreamt#Very confused and it's been like two years so wtf yeah that was... Intense#The most dream of all time#Maybe I'm just fucking insane lol but yeah
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clowningcrows · 3 months ago
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how do i know if my chosen name is the right name :(
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pierregaslays · 9 months ago
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:(
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swordsonnet · 19 days ago
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#today a good friend of mine told me they want to stop seeing me because they were interested in a romantic relationship and i'm not#we met on a dating app but i thought we had more of a platonic relationship#at least that's what it felt like. i honestly didn't think they were interested in me like that#i can't really imagine anyone having romantic feelings for me. hell i can barely wrap my head around people liking me platonically#i definitely should've communicated my intentions better but at the same time i was kind of confused about what i even wanted#i'm 24 and i've never been in a relationship. i've never fallen in love. i've had crushes but they've all been on a more superficial level#and none of them led anywhere#i think i just joined the dating app because i felt like it was expected of me. because other people my age are in relationships#and i'm falling behind just like in everything else#i think i might be aromantic but i also don't want to be. i want to fall in love and find someone to spend my life with.#but i don't seem to have the capacity for it. and i can't help but feel like i'm broken. like i've failed at being human#and to top it all off i lost a good friend. actually the only friend i had in this city#i have two other close friends but one lives in a different city and the other lives on a different continent#i also have a cold and my period started yesterday so. uhhh. not a good day overall lmao#will probably delete this later but i just needed to scream into the void#looks like i've got something to discuss with my therapist on wednesday
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jils-things · 1 year ago
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i went wandering off in my pokespe gallery and had to relieve how wonderful this scene played out. no kidding
please dont read the tags i got emotional there /lh
#the.plot felt a bit confusing to me admittedly but oras did so well in trying to make franticshipping incredibly satisfactory since#at the end of rs we couldn't really tell if they settled with each others feelings yet (APPARENTLY NOT BECAUSE THEY'RE PRIDEFUL AND DUMB/JJ)#but at least sapphire still had some thoughts about it but i was kinda mad WHY DIDNT RUBY GIVE HIS HALF OF THE FEELINGS PROPERLY!!!#WELL THIS HAPPENED WHERE HE OPENLY CONFESSES ABOUT HOW MUCH HE CARES ABOUT HER AND THE WHOLE WORLD CELEBRATED#in r/s they were constantly separated from each other by WILL BECAUSE they despise each other so much#in oras - after confessing - it literally ACHES for ruby to not see her like take a fucking shot everytime he says wheres sapphire????#THEY WERE ALWAYS AWAY FROL EACH OTHER HERE AND HE FEELS SO GUILTY FOR EVERY TIME SAPPHIRE GETS HARMED#FOR EXAMPLE; FIGHTING WITH ZINNIA AND FALLING OFF THE ROCKET - LOSING HER VOICE - RUBY HOLDING THE SECRET FROM SAPPHIRE BY PROMISING STEVEN#LITERALLY EVERUTHING SHE DOES MAKES HIM FEEL ALL THE MORE GUILTY AND HE CANT EVEN TELL HER STRAIGHT HES SORRY BECAUSE THEY'RE LITERALLY#FUCKING AWAY FROM EACH OTHRHADHDHRHSBRBDBSHSHSHE#AND WHEN THEY FINALLU MEET UP VIA TROPIUS AND RAYQUAZA SHE TELLS HIM TO SHUT UP AND HOLD HIS EMOTIONS FOR NOW. THAT'S HOW DESPERATE HE WAS#TO SEE EHR AGAIN AHAHAHAHTDTHHGG IM SO INSANEEE#AND AT THIS MOMENT HE ALMOST EMOTIONALLY CONFESSES WITH TEARS HE DOESNT WANT TO LEAVE HER AGAIN BECAUSE WORST COMES TO WORST HE'LL NEVER SEE#HER IF HE TRIES TO SAVE THE WORLD BY HIMSELF FROM THE METEORRRRRR AKAAJAHAAJ#AND THATS WHY HE INVITES HER TO SAVE THE WORLD TOGETHER AS CORNY AS IT SOUNDS BUT ITS BECAUSE IF HE'LL DIE HE WANTS TO DIE WITH HER AAAHSGDV#AND SAPPHIRE'S REACTION WAS FAINTING WHICH TBH WAS A COMEDIC MOMENT FOR SUCH AN IMPACTFUL DIALOG FROM HIM BUT AJDHSJHDS MAKES ME HAPPY#y'all don't even get me started how this plays out when stevaide is in here DON'T EVEN#~ rambling#i just woke up and i chose violence (franticshipping)#pokespe hours
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ninelivesastrology · 8 months ago
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Y'all gonna hate me for this one, but you can't call it a homoerotic friendship if that woman was never into you. It's called lust, limerence and delusion.
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exlimix1a · 1 year ago
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Happy New Years, my beloveds. I love you all and I'm very proud of you as the darling little individuals that you are. kisses you all on the forehead. You're doing fantastic . look forward with hope, starlings. we've got this!!
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