#needed unloading
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When he tells you he needs you to help him unload but his truck is empty.
Fortunately, his balls were full and that's what he needed help with.
Just as well as I'm really not very good at carrying things.
#helped him out#helped him unload#how about it?#needed to unload#full balls#emptied his balls#unloaded in my mouth#needed to release#needed unloading#fully loaded
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#my favorite thing about them is how abe just doesn't give a fuck about the red flags and proceeds to hang out with topher no matter what#needed to unload this from my system more than i cared to actually make it good#topher bus#abe lincoln#tophabe#clone high
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ok last one. alpha johnny loves omegas, but he also loves the thrill of making an alpha submit.
alpha price is traditional; heavy preference for omegas. but recently, he’s been eyeing that beta chick who works at the tattoo shop in the outskirts of the city.
#sun rambles#im delirioud so ill stop here now#u all can ignore the ramble and the rant i just needed to unload ig after reading multiple abo mangas :D#my fave would be ‘tadaima okaeri’ its not even smut its just abt an omega and alpha dads taking care of their son (and later daughter) 🥹
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Asmodeus is described as being a narcissist but I believe he just has some narcissistic tendencies because as someone who grew up with a narcissist aunt, I can tell you it’s so much different and more toxic.
#like she literally stole over 10k from our small family business#never got anyone birthday gifts#gave people unloaded gift cards#never stopped whining#always said she had specific disorders when I was the one who had them#literally my mom would get sick from the anxiety of being around her#needed to rant I fucking hate her#she honestly needs to be in jail#obey me shall we date#obey me asmodeus
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Least favorite ok ko character??
At first I was gonna say none BUT I actually do have two least favorite characters and it's these two assholes
Not only I dislike their designs I also HATE their personalities even more. I don't like being so negative but they have literally ZERO redeeming quality. They're just annoying judgy asshats. Plus they were absolutely awful friends to Rad for years!!! They made him become super insecure bc they kept insulting and belitting everything he liked, they're the reason why he started acting like a narcissistic jerk with Enid and then KO
In conclusion they're lame, stupid, and crappy people and I can't stand seeing them on screen
#am i projecting onto rad MAYBE#thank you for asking this anon bc i needed to unload all my hate and loathing#ugly asses i wont even bother learning their names#i swear i cannot stand them anytime they appear i just wanna skip all their scenes#BOOOOO TOMATO TOMATO TOMATO#like at least when other characters are being jerks they're also fun or interesting#but not these two they're just two insufferable frat boys#which is worse than being a criminal#at least boxman's crimes are funny as fuck ://#sorry these two piss me off so much#asks & answers#ok ko let's be heroes#ok k.o.! let's be heroes
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idk why there's so much discussion around the ~*morality of traumadumping*~ when it's a VERY solvable social conundrum. all you need to do is ask something like "hey is it ok if i talk about this thing? it's kind of heavy" and respect the answer
#it's both very normal and good to talk to people about stuff that's weighing on you#AND it can be very uncomfortable to have someone unload a lot of really heavy things at you at once without warning#this is not a zero sum game?#?????????????#i guess sometimes the problem is that ppl have a different measure for what counts as 'traumadumping'#i personally associate it w the time i was a volunteer at a summer camp and one of the teens asked me if they could get my advice#and when i was like yeah sure they proceeded to tell me their entire life story which involved several deaths and horrible things#which left me in a very awkward position of Um What Did You Want My Advice For Specifically#but like i was fine!! i was the Responsible Adult who had signed up for this#and they were a teen who needed someone to listen to them!!
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exit wounds
hades / thanzag / post divorce AU / ch2 of 3
Years and years after Zagreus’s successful escape to the surface, an untimely and unexpected death brings him right back down to the underworld, and shatters Thanatos’s fragile truce with himself.
.
“I didn’t sleep with anyone up there. I know you’re wondering.”
Thanatos’s eyes dart up to meet Zagreus’s. His gaze is so sharp, cutting through him, cutting to the heart of him.
“I wasn’t wondering,” he says, but his voice cracks, giving him away.
Zagreus shrugs. “It’s okay. Hypnos asked too. Everyone’s curious about the mortals. I certainly wouldn’t hesitate to ask you.”
Thanatos starts to flip back onto his back when Zagreus’s hand touches his shoulder, holding him in place. The air between them seems thin suddenly, like surface air, less heavy, less murky, harder to breathe.
“I wasn’t wondering,” Thanatos says again.
“Okay.” Zagreus doesn’t move his hand. “But you were, a little.”
His thumb sweeps across the slope of Thanatos’s shoulder, almost absentmindedly. He is full of little touches. In Thanatos’s long life, he has never grown used to it, how casually Zagreus touches him, how easily. Nothing comes as easily to Thanatos.
“So you don’t have any… friends like me up there?” Thanatos asks, and he isn’t entirely sure what he’s asking, or why. Zagreus’s close proximity has thrown him off. The warmth of his body, the softness of the bed, the sweet aftertaste of nectar still clinging to the inside of his mouth all combine to pull apart his careful filter. He feels loose and incorporeal, like smoke.
Zagreus’s eyes move between his. “There’s no one like you anywhere.”
#ill post the third chapter later this weekend I need everything done before da4#sorry to my subs you will be seeing a few emails from my bitch ass while I unload all my wips lol#sorry sorry#my writing#thanzag#hades game#this fic gave me heartburn a little I think lol#a scene in the third chapter had to be rewritten completely which I don’t usually do#things usually come out of me right the first time#so it has been weird but anyway whatever lol#we’ll see how it lands
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In there trying times have some cute pictures of Mikey and his brothers:
Just a little reminder that they love their little brother. And he loves them back.
#yall there is a new bashing fic on ao3 and it literally checks all the dumbass boxes#Like it's ‘Mikey’s an uwu soft Boi who needs his hand held because his brothers are sooooo mean’ ick#bonus points if he goes to another dimension and ‘learns what a REAL family is’#sorry that I'm unloading on y'all I just hate this trope because it gets literally every single character wrong period#I'm trying to just not engage with these type of fics but sometimes they get to me especially because the 2012 boys are like my sibs#tmnt#tmnt 2012#teenage mutant ninja turtles#2012 raph#2012 donnie#2012 mikey#2012 leo#donatello#raphael#leonardo#michelangelo
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You know that scene of Hal from Malcolm in the Middle where he keeps getting distracted by new problems/tasks?
I just snapped out of a bit of hyperfocus by the realization that i am him right now as i screw on the passenger side sun visor in my car at 2am when i was supposed to be watering my plants.
#it went;#>needs the pyrex thingy to water plants#>oh dishes are done need to unload the dishwasher#>oh yeah i got my dad a coffee mug for christmas but i havent wrapped any gifts yet#>need tape to wrap presents#>tape is in drawer with random miscellaneous things#>sees screw driver and remembers ny sun visor is broken#and now here i am at 2am with a screw driver in one hand and 17 unfinished tasks
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Unfortunately due to TOH being cut short by Disney a lot of character arcs and more storyline could not be fully fleshed out and finished as Dana had to wrap up everybody’s story in just a few episodes
I'm fully aware that Disney's intervention is responsible for a lot of the plotlines getting suffocated. Which is why I don't think it's fair to go harassing crew members with "why didn't THIS happen??" and all that, because nobody really knows what they endured working on those final episodes and how much they had to cut and rewrite. But from things Dana has said, it was likely a very stressful and exhausting experience. So I don't like to make assumptions about the crew being incompetent. Nobody knows how the season WOULD have turned out if they had been granted full creative freedom and breathing room to develop it to their hearts content.
However, me not directing personal ire towards the crew doesn't mean that I think that the show is immune to criticism. Its flawed. It might not be entirely the crew's fault but that doesn't mean we can't talk about how it's flawed. If anything, I think acknowledging and dissecting its weaknesses is a good learning opportunity for what we should consider when creating our own stories.
Season 3 is a bit of a mess. There's good stuff. There's some less than good stuff. I think ultimately, as a story about Luz, King and Eda, it knocks it out of the park. When they were left with no other option, they decided to prioritize the writing of their three protagonists and I think that was the correct choice.
But I've been thinking about the three specials and how they stand on their own, quality wise, and honestly, there's valid criticism to be said that is completely unrelated to the shortening.
Bear in mind that the crew has known since Follies that the show was getting cut short and they needed to start wrapping up loose ends. So it's not like they started writing Thanks to Them believing it was the first of 20+ more episodes. They knew that they were going to be writing a 40 minute special. So the execution had to be tight, concise and satisfying, right?
Well...it was....weird. Definitely fun. Good for fan service. The main hook was the witch kids navigating the human world in their dorky witchy way. And initially, that was enough. But once the novelty of that wears off and we focus on the plot of the special, what do we have left?
Thanks to Them is very guilty of lore baiting. Dropping in stuff that they know damn well that they're never going to elaborate on, leaving the audience with a feeling of intrigue that is never going to be satiated.
I personally think that is just bad writing. They knew they didn't have a full season 3 and rather than rewrite the means of which the hexsquads finds answers, they still made the choice to drop in what are most likely vague ideas from the initial draft.
I think, if they had no intention of developing it in future specials, there was no point to that scene of Masha telling the Wittebane story. It was just...filler. To stretch out the running time. Which is....kind of precious. Only 40 minutes. If you're obsessive enough about lore, you already knew the story from the Hollow Mind paintings. That scene was for casual viewers. Which is useless, because there's no point in casual viewers learning about Evelyn and Caleb because it never went anywhere.
Also. I personally think that if there was any value to learning the Wittebane lore without making it plot relevant, it would be for the sake of character development. We wanted to know how the kids would react to this knowledge.
Well how did they react?
*Shrug* They seemed a little unnerved but they kinda forgot about it the second they got off the hayride.
So what was the point of all that? What was the point?
Is it because we wanted "Goodbye, Evelyn," to be more of gut punch?
Was it worth it? Was "Goodbye, Evelyn" worth it? We know fucking nothing about Evelyn.
I think the rebus was a stupid and lazy means for the kids to discover Titan's blood. You introduce this mysterious object that was hidden under the floorboards and then you just use it as a plot device.
When the kids uncover the rebus and find the secret code inside, the viewer is not thinking about how it can be used as a means to an end (finding blood) The viewer is thinking "what the fuck is that thing and how did it get there and how did Flapjack know it was there?"
Questions that will not be answered <333
ALL IM SAYING is that I'm sure the crew could have come up with another way for the kids to have a Titan's blood treasure hunt. Maybe they could have dug a little more into the history of Gravesfield and follow leads on weird things happening on this one spot in the graveyard (which turns out to be because there's magical energy there, revealed when Luz realizes she can use glyphs)
I just think that if you're gonna leave the mystery box a mystery, you shouldn't have included it.
And I know. Its subtle storytelling. There's elements of what could have been a far more complex story and they're leaving hints of it here and there.
Well the thing about that is I think the hints are very unsatisfying and weaken the episode's plot significantly.
Also I don't think they should get to just pick and choose what parts of the lore are subtle and what parts are ham-fisted.
YES we are going to be reminded like three times that Flapjack is being secretive and hiding things from Hunter.
NO we are never going to get a payoff for that because he gets shanked and dies first.
BUT!! BUT!! If you squint, its IMPLIED that Flapjack belonged to Evelyn and blah blah blah
You don't get to rub things in the audience face and then choose to be all subtle about it at the last minute. Pick one or the other.
Anyway....I think they could have written Thanks to Them as more of an intriguing and suspenseful horror mystery where they spend forty minutes gathering clues and everything finally clicks together at the very end. That's not what we got.
We got a very weak attempt on the Hexsquad's part to be little detectives, but like a minute of screen time was devoted to them dicking around in a library, a costume shop, and a zoo.
I don't think we can blame the shortening for this.
#very sorry i got distracted and went on a little rant about ttt#this was unrelated to your ask i just tend to go on tangents#i needed to unload it somewhere tho
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daily daan? (day 8)
#daan von dutch#fear and hunger daan#fear and hunger termina daan#pocketcat#daily#drew too much pocketcat need to unload
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could use a pathetic tgirl as target practice rn <3
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nothing to see here just a crazy shipper guy going crazy over Callowmoore under the bit, if that's not for you then go about your business
So fellow Callowmoores how we feelin' this morning/evening? Because it's evening right now and I'm still bouncing off the walls in my mind
The one post could not keep me contained! No seriously the amount of tags I put in hit a limit and doesn't show them all
I mean yes we didn't get a kiss (yet) but goddamn we got so much, it has possessed me, deranged me, it's leaking outta my brain I gotta talk about it, so either jump out or buckle up because this overflow is gonna be long
First off I just gotta talk about how so many things almost lined up how I imagined them because it just makes it feel like they looked into my head and thought 'hey that's kinda good'. Like, I wanted Fearne to take the shard at Mori's, it was a safer space for her than the Ziggurat which is tainted by bad memories (this and other campaigns), I just didn't expect it so soon, thought they'd at least have a full rest first. In fact I had a whole scene in my mind where in a desperate gambit Delilah took over Laudna while she slept and just knocked on Ashton's door in a form of dread going 'where's the shard Ashton?'. It's key to this I promise not only because I enjoyed the idea of Ashton not taking any of Delilah's shit (plus for you Imodnas out there the mental scene involves Ashton whispering 'Imogen's in danger' to wake her, they also ask where Paté is because they still have that 'Paté is Delilah' theory) but it also expanded on the possible helplessness Ashton would have being unable to assist Fearne with taking the shard
'You're a child, Ashton. A blunt instrument that charges blindly into harm, would you really risk Fearne's life to earn her forgiveness? You know what it can do, what happens when you can't protect her from it?'
Of course, Ashton would never give Delilah the shard, which would frustrate Delilah since she can't manipulate them, but the comment weighs on Ashton a little. Which is when the whole waking Laudna happens and she leaves, but Fearne is in his room (the Vox Machina bathtub scene being inspiration), having asked to sleep there for comfort and asks them if it worries them. Which is where I often got to use this quote
'I don't believe in fate, but I believe in you'
And it sticks with me because it's super romantic, but also on-brand for Ashton, there were variations like the longer 'things only affect our path if we choose to believe they do; fate is complicated, the gods don't give a fuck, and I don't wanna even think about legacy anymore, I don't believe in them, but I believe in you' but then the next morning comes and Ashton gives her the ring, since I forgot about attunement there were instances where it was a sneaky sleight of hand thing, and Fearne completes the process. Of course, with weeks to go on there were a lot more scenarios like Fearne pickpocketing the Ashton doll to practice talking to and putting it back, Ashton seeking Mori for advice, herbal tea visions where Ashton entered their own mind and encounters the empress while on the outside Delilah possesses Laudna to try and drain the power from them, one where the shard having been reshaped through Ashton is less intense on Fearne for the first 4 rounds (since they blew up on the fifth) because Ashton's essence is containing and dissipating the hostile energy, and one where the group secretly vote against Ashton being there for Fearne taking the shard (Imogen, Laudna, and Chetney 3 to 2 against Orym and FCG) but Fearne as the decider pulls them over because she needs them there, stuff like that I'm sure fanfic writers could consume to their heart's content (and are free to, go nuts). But these scenes stood out because it had elements of stuff that are linked to or actually happened in the episode; Fearne does take the shard, Ashton endorses that Fearne is the only one who can take it, Ashton gives her the ring and Shattered Vigor is apparently a thing where Ashton is practically taking Fearne's pain to protect her, that alone is enough to go insane over.
And can we talk about the ring for a moment, because like THE RING. I'm not talking about generically either I mean that this ring has been significant to the shard saga ever since Ashton claimed it. It was found on the corpse of someone infused into stone, into the earth, right between the whole eidolons stuff where Ashton connected with an Earth elemental and then the Grau Dashari stuff with the crystals they merged with their hammer and then the Bor'dor incident, that could've easily been a titan-based punishment. Also, Ring of Volcanic Flesh, like Ashton's stone arm? And if that wasn't enough, what was the first thing Fearne stole from Ashton when they reunited? The ring, the act that broke down Ashton's walls as they let out a most heartfelt 'I missed you, so much' the ring that Fearne stole right off of Ashton's fingers only for them to willingly put in her hand to protect her, because just as they said at the clock tower, everything they have belongs to her. And while legacy and hubris had a part in the shard incident, part of it was also for Fearne. I don't believe there's any situation where if Fearne said she wanted the shard at the clock tower Ashton would've said no; Ashton knows that Fearne was key to the shard dislodging in the lava, they sensed it was in a way key to both of them, but there was no reality where Ashton was gonna force Fearne to take the shard if she didn't want it. And yes it blew up in their face, much like Fearne they saw an image of themselves they didn't want to be, their soul broke with the realisation that they hurt the one person they never wanted to hurt, but thanks to Percy they also realised that they had to change. It wasn't enough to see everyone else having someone at the reunion and internalizing 'if someone has to not come back it's gotta be me' they had to make steps towards being the person the Hells needs them to be, someone who can come back with them.
Which is where last episode started setting it up, and I didn't speak much about it at the time because other than the pretty plain 'I would've rather died than hurt Fearne' insinuation (which in turn was confessed to save Fearne from falling) there was only crumbs that could be interpreted other ways; for instance Birdie's tale with Athion and Olly being somewhat of a parallel to Tevan and Ashton, the formers wooing Birdie and Fearne with temptations of indulgence while the latters drawing their attention by being subjects of intrigue, defiance and kindness, plus they saved the latters (Birdie literally via escaping the prisons and Fearne emotionally and literally), or before the Orym conversation when Ashton takes 'one last look' Taliesin looks towards Ashley last. But I knew there was poetic significance to Ashton failing the communication trial, Marisha sensed the vibe too, but even though Fearne was nervous about guiding Ashton, the fault fell to poor dice rolls (and Liam not keeping shtum and summoning thunderwasps) and once again Ashton in an attempt to prove themselves falls flat on their ass in front of the person they most want to prove it to. And that did break my heart a little I must admit because as poetic as it was who hasn't been there? Ashton's journey of proving themselves has been laden with failure too; being unable to protect anyone from Otohan led to them almost being TPK'd, being unable to keep the group together at the Malleus Key led to the group being scattered, and then Team Trauma's stuff - Orym was despondent and Laudna's a wreck, got a random 'shepherd's boy', a powerful Cobalt Soul teen prodding about the solstice and all of Deni$e here added as mainly combat support, loners but no leaders, Dawnfather angel thinks them insignificant, dark spirits trying to consume their only leads about the Hishari - and the moment Ashton started to trust Bor'dor after the pipe vision what happens? Betrayal, Hunger of the Shadow and Delilah is let back in, Ashton couldn't even keep Laudna safe from herself, they reunite, try to sort out their shit with their past, discover that they might have a destiny to fulfill and end up being too willing to die in place of others, and unable to protect their new family from themselves, because of these recent failures it was important that Ashton proved themselves in the trust trial.
And thankfully they did, there was no way to prove that anyone was a Doppelganger and yet, Ashton still trusted Fearne; twice saving her from the flora even when told to leave her behind. And they were close to another failure when the branch was snatched - after their attempts to keep it safe by throwing it in the pool alone - but they trusted Chet and Orym (father/son duo) to cover more ground while they helped Fearne. And even when FCG told Ashton 'I think it's Fearne', and when Imogen was untrusting of Fearne, Ashton abandoned their held action to save FCG from the brambles because they knew Fearne could be trusted. They trusted Imogen to connect to Ruidus and as mentioned endorsed Fearne to take the shard.
And sure, in my mental scenarios Ashton gives her the shard, doing the same she did for them, but I did say almost like how I imagined. And Ashton still did everything they could, plus Imogen comforted their visible worry, but once it's complete they're just in awe, and then their own spark awakens through her touch, a touch they were unafraid of even at the threat of newfound fire, and now for the first time ever they feel whole. She saved them, and now they finally feel complete, and now this time Fearne is agape, Fearne is in awe, and everything she had hoped Ashton would gain from taking the shard before has come to fruition through her, and it's just, joy, pure incorruptible joy, a kindred connection that belongs to just them. Plus a big piece of paper for all the new powers they are excited to learn about from each other, with each other, and while Matt can talk about there being risks to them because you gotta balance the combat the narrative significance is still there.
But dammit they need to kiss, I've yelled it enough times in my head; like the lava, the clock tower, before and after Fearne took the shard, the only times they did kiss was before the solstice (the forehead kiss) and the ziggurat and both preceded bad times, they deserve a proper one, not one at risk of being a goodbye, something precious, irreplaceable and theirs to have, to share. And I don't know if they should use the patented 'can I kiss you?' or take a tip from BeauYasha and use 'I wanna kiss you so bad right now' or find something else to make their own but I desire it so much, had it happened this ep I probably would've melted out of my seat. They're awkward and nervous but they gotta take the leap, Ashton needs to realise they're loved and maybe even be told that they deserve it even when they feel they don't, and Fearne has to take a risk too, the shard put doubt to her decisions but that doesn't mean she can run from her strong emotions. It doesn't fix everything of course, but sometimes people heal better together than apart. As a currently vorbed half-elf once said 'drink the courage first'.
Curiosity continues to send me after the ep, and while some people are attempting to blemish or rain on the parade (I mean, I try not to speak ill of other ships in general, but if you're gonna be negative about it you can at least do it in your lane, your tags not ours) I am still just riding the high of the possibilities. True, the unknown can make me nervous, and I will admit the group has to give Ashton and Fearne space (they're just excited, and with the bloody bridge hinting to be a final moon-based battle there is that sense of urgency) Imodna had nudges sure but they have been a bit heavy-handed and kinda chaperoned around them, Fearne and Ashton seldom get time alone, one can hope they can get that time with each other next episode.
#critical role#cr 3#cr 3 spoilers#c3e80#callowmoore#ashton greymoore#fearne calloway#ashton x fearne#fearne x ashton#rockwild#bells hells#for anyone who read the whole thing props to you I understand I unloaded a lot of crazy onto you I'm sorry#I have questions about the new powers too; does Mister get an upgrade? Can elementals be summoned? Is it like a Sorcerer multiclass?#do primordials have a equivalent to divine smite? Can it be used on other champions or Predathos?#how do the divines react to this? Asmodeus wanted them for the Calamity and Dawnfather does seem to hold grudges...Wildmother not so much#and do the titans themselves feel adverse to stopping Predathos? Since it aids their enemy that essentially colonized on them#I fear fuckery next episode of course but today's a good day and I will not let anyone ruin that#I will ride this high as long as I can though but I do also need to sleep I got a travel weekend to do visiting relatives#I am so consumed by this ship that it rivals my own birthday as the best thing to happen this week#I am absolutely unashamedly not normal about them#tag bonus: matching shirts! Precious/Irreplaceable and Adorable/Ignorant also all the Hells have 'if lost return to Nancy' shirts#taliesin jaffe#ashley johnson
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I love a Veth's Big Naturals mention
#i wish I knew how to make gifs I need a gif of sam unloading the girls like this#alas gif-making is like witchcraft to me i legitimately have no idea how it is done#cr2e57#yes another c2 rewatch
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Something I always think about a lot during disability/chronic illness/rare illness pride months is like... It is wild how often people will come up to me and want me to listen to some guilty secret they have re: disability and expect me to tell them it's okay.
Like... once I was waiting for my dad to bring the car up at the airport, and this guy approaches me and starts telling me why he'd never want to date a disabled woman. (I'm gay and completely uninterested in men, which made this whole interaction even more awkward.) And after talking about all the reasons why people like me would not make a good partner he turns those sad eyes on me like, "But that doesn't make me a bad person, does it? I'm not doing anything wrong. Like, you get it, don't you?"
You get it, don't you?
I hear that one a lot.
Like when the grad student teaching one of my classes at my university was chatting to me after class and told me that once she and her friends went to Disney World and pretended to be disabled to get onto the rides faster. I recognized the nervous laughter, the entreating look. The you get it, don't you?
I understand what these people are asking me for. They want absolution. They want this disabled person, maybe the first real disabled person they've ever talked to, to listen to their guilty secret and tell them they're okay. They're not a bad person. I don't mind. I don't judge them. I get it.
But frankly... I don't get it. These people often tell me that they've done things that make disabled people's lives actively worse. Disney has changed their policies re: disability because so many able-bodied people were abusing them. Companies and organizations walk back accommodation policies all the time because they're being abused. That grad student who pretended to be disabled actively made disabled people's lives harder.
And I don't really give a shit if one asshole dude doesn't want to date disabled women (probably better for those women, tbh) but I know how bad it feels to be ghosted on a dating app when you talk about accessibility, even when your profile is explicit about your disability. I know that I felt like I was not worth loving in spite of my disability for years because I knew that people like that guy would only see all the ways I'd slow them down.
Guys like that actively make us hate ourselves.
But like... it's wild how these people don't see how the only thing crueler than harboring these feelings and doing these things is making some random disabled person listen to their stories. My day was going great before some guy practically gave me a powerpoint about why I should never expect to have a relationship. I really enjoyed that class before I found out that my teacher had participated in the exact kind of ableist theft of accommodations that was currently making it difficult for me to get accommodations at that school.
They took this weight they were holding on their shoulders and then forced it onto mine -- and then expected me to comfort them. To tell them it was okay. To throw my fellow disabled folks under the bus.
And -- both of these times in particular, I was in situations where I was not really free to speak my mind. Alone with a big guy in a parking garage? Alone with the woman who would ultimately decide my grade for the class? The power differential there was huge. And whether they were consciously doing it or not, they were leveraging that power differential to try and force me to give them absolution.
I made noncommittal noises. Really, what else was I supposed to do? And even then, I could see the spark of disappointment and anger in their eyes. I was supposed to tell them it was okay that they'd hurt me and people like me. I was supposed to tell them they were still good.
But I didn't want to offer them absolution, and I was angry that they'd asked for it in the first place. I can't offer you forgiveness for something you know is wrong -- and that you've done nothing to fix. Moreover, I won't. You should feel bad that you hurt us. You should feel guilty. It's a shitty thing to do.
If you want to feel better about yourself, stop doing shitty things!
And I knew these people were still doing shitty things because dumping all this on me when I was just minding my own business was in and of itself a shitty thing. Trying to transfer their burden to me. Reminding me about the discrimination I have to face every day just so they could feel better. Expecting me to do emotional labor on command for strangers because it doesn't matter if I hurt so long as they feel good.
That's shitty! Don't do it! I already have to use physical crutches, don't try to turn me into an emotional one!
#I'm sure this happens a lot with other marginalized groups too#though I'll admit it rarely happens to me with queer issues#even though I often choose to mark myself as visibly queer#I can't actually make that choice re: disability#I really need my assistive devices#but damn they see the woman sitting there in a wheelchair and it's like they see a sitting duck#they know it'll be harder for me to get away from them sometimes I think#and they'll just start unloading#fuckin hate that#ableism#disability
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Whumper lines Whumpee's clothes with tiny wood slivers (or glass shards if you really want to be sadistic) and watch them scream and squirm in pain as it cuts into their skin.
#story time#I was helping unload wood that was in the back of a trailer#it was me and some other people and while they were doing one side I decided to do the other#one of my friends watched me grab one off and said in a deadpan voice “Abhainn do you need help”#“Nah I'm okay. Don't worry!"#then I proceed to not be okay as I nearly fell over how much it weighed and she had to help me#and yes I did end up with some wood in my sleeves and hands#whump#whumpblr#whump writing#whump prompt#whump tropes#sadistic whumper#abused whumpee#creepy whumper#domestic whump#torture whump
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