#nat a lee | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dillydally6969 · 2 months ago

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CROWNED .ᐟ 𝓝AT SCATORCCIO

♱ fighting situationship!nat for the antler queen title, where you eventually knock her off the tip of the food chain

♱ cw; yj s3 spoilers, harsh language, angst, implied f!r, shauna storyline if u squint, pt. 2 linked at bottom

“loser says ‘what’.” mari snarked, brushing past shauna.

the butcher was about to snap back before nat jogged on-scene, shaking her head and shooting the raven-haired girl a disapproving glare. “knock it off, mar!”

upon hearing your lover’s voice, you looked up from your shared hut. mapping a route for the next hunt seemed far less interesting when the usual bickering began escalating.

“i’ll kill you, just give me a fucking reason--!” shauna yelled.

natalie rushed to physically keep the brunette from lunging at a timid mari. she held shauna by her sides, but her smaller frame gave her a slight disadvantage as the blonde struggled to hold her back. mari’s face dropped in a flash of panic before brushing it off with a scoff. “jesus, you’re a fucking psycho!”

“hey, hey, hey!” you barked, pouncing to your feet.

the others ceased whatever they were occupied with prior to the hassle, watching as you jogged over.

“shauna--hey! walk it off,” you hissed in shauna’s face, a hand on her chest as nat stepped back to brush herself off. you turned to see the blonde standing beside mari, hands on her hips as she made sure the taller was okay.

you glanced between the two of them. you grunted, “what the fuck are you two, children? get your fucking shit together.”

you caught the murderous glint in shauna’s eyes, and she was ready to do something she’d regret. it wasn’t the fact she was so willing to resort to violence that bothered you, no, it was the fact she was looking straight at nat.

your presence commanded the room, even in moments when things fell silent. nobody dared speak up, speak against you.

“y’know, this beef between you two is getting real old. and since the two of you want to act like children, you’ll be punished like it. i don’t want to see either of you in the same area again. i don’t care if you need to eat, piss or sleep, i don’t want you two within a fucking hair of each other. am i clear?”

neither of them responded, averting their gazes elsewhere.

“did i make myself fucking clear?” you repeated, a grumbled ‘yes’ and ‘whatever’ came from them before they dispersed.

once the grounds cleared and everybody returned to their duties, you eyed nat out of the corner of her eye. she sighed, hurt flashing in her eye as she turned to walk away, a hand on her head, fondling the edge of her bandana. “nat, i--!”

“i had it.” she mumbled softly, “you didn’t need to do all that.”

you know, for somebody who really didn’t like being queen, she sure had a problem when you stepped in to help. you knew her, and you knew the last thing she wanted was to be the leader of these animals when it came down to it. but whenever you’d try and share the seat, take some things off her shoulders, she’d get thrusted into a sour mood for the rest of the day. you sometimes wondered if she secretly resented you for doing her job just that much better than her.

“i was just trying to help,” you replied, following her as she walked back towards your hut. “nat--shauna was damn near about to cave your head in.”

“she wouldn’t have, okay? y’know what? it’s fine. thanks.”

she scurried through the opening to your hut, plopping down onto the makeshift bed of compiled cushions and worn clothes. you were left standing outside, watching as she went out of her way to ignore your insistent gaze.

you scoffed in disbelief at her attitude, spinning on your heel. you caught lottie’s eye from across the camp.

the girl beckoned you over with a single nod of her head, a mug in one hand as she adjusted the shawl draped over her shoulders with the other. you sauntered over, your hands on your hips. upon her patting the bench cloaked with flannels sewn into a table mat, you took a seat across from lottie.

“your influence is growing, y/n. it’s testing you.”

“yeah, this is on me for thinking you had something actually meaningful to say.” you ran a hand through your hair, ready to stand. “i’m not in the mood for your wilderness bullshit, lottie.”

“winter is coming, y/n, nat’s tranquil style of leadership may thrive in the spring, but she will be buried, along with all else under her hand once snow falls.” lottie reasoned.

you froze. your grip on the table cloth tightening.

“lottie, this wacky hippie shit is fine away from camp. i don’t care if you waste the better part of most days to sneak off with travis on your weird little sexcapades, but i’d appreciate if you’d show nat the respect she is owed.” you stood, nodding down at her, “thanks for the news flash.”

“you’re not stupid, y/n. you know her time is running out.”

“bye, lottie.” you called over your shoulder, sauntering your way back to your hut to finish routing the next hunt.

truth be told, you had begun doubting nat’s control over the peace yourself a while back. from the beginning, since lottie constructed the whole tier with her schizophrenic episodes, you had begun your subconscious climb to the top.

you knew, the moment nat drew the queen of hearts last winter that she was going to die, or she was to be crowned.

though you could not have been more thankful the latter happened, you knew nat was not mentally built to sustain the burdens she was forced to bore from her manifested guilt.

but antler queen nat wasn’t the nat you thought you knew.

she rarely spent time with you alone, always finding excuses to escape being intimate--sometimes, it’s not even physical intimacy. you’ll have a long, hard day at hunting and come home craving a night by the fire, beside the tawny-eyed beauty you spent the day thinking about, just savouring the crisp night air. but no. there was always something greater, something in need of her more than you were.

it was driving a wedge between you. and the others were starting to take notice as well.

as you disappeared into your hut, two pairs of eyes from the water station had been following your frame the entire time.

“damn, y/n should yell at me next, that was kinda hot.” van commented, earning a tiny shove to the arm from her girlfriend. “ow--hey! i’m just saying, why is nat even antler queen anymore? y/n’s the one who’s got shauna on a leash.”

tai groaned, “it’s just one of those unspoken things, alright? everybody knows it’s only a matter of time before y/n goes all nevermind on nat’s dangerous.”

the redhead shot the taller an amused look, “did you just make a nirvana versus mj reference?”

tai rolled her eyes, “shut up. my point is, don’t talk about it.”

“but, why? she’s not even hunting anymore, she just acts like the boss around here and call it a day. y/n keeps us fed, y/n keeps the atomic shauna bomb from nuking us all to death, i mean--!” van was practically yelling, prompting a quick slap of a hand over her mouth. muffled against tai’s palm, the taller could briefly make out, “--am i wrong though?”

tai dragged the shorter back to their hut in a hurry, yanking the blanket over their opening after snapping her head around.

“look, i also think nat’s lost it since we got through winter, but she still has y/n worshipping her like some weird god, and i’m not about to mess with the one person in this fucking camp that has a rifle.” tai huffed, “i mean, how twisted and scary do you have to be for shauna to listen to you?”

the hut fell silent for a moment. van tore through the pause with an indifferent, “…you think they’re fucking?”

two huts over, you found it hard to focus on the map in your hands. you, nat and travis had made it months prior at the beginning of your ventures. since then, you and your team consisting of gen and occasionally misty (in hopes of finding coach scott) have expanded the map beyond what the snow had constricted you to.

just two feet away sat nat, leant against the side of the hut. she refused to glance up at you, eyes trained on the book in her hand. it was worn around the edges, water stains and tears across the pages evident from where you sat.

feeling the crushing weight of the giant elephant in the room, you decided to confront the blonde.

“so, are you just not gonna talk to me?”

she exhaled deeply through her nose, not looking up. “yes.”

you tossed the map aside, slapping both your thighs as you stood. you settled beside her, your knee brushing against hers. you could tell she was contemplating whether or not to move away out of spite, her lip was doing the twitchy thing you had noticed it would whenever she thought.

“come on, nat. don’t be stubborn, let’s talk about this.”

“i have nothing to say,” she countered, “you saved me, just like you’ve done many times the last couple weeks.”

you felt like she was playing games with you. nat was never one to be open with her feelings, you knew that. despite her constant deflection, her dismissive behaviour and stubborn nature, you weren’t one to back down. never go to bed angry, especially not at this tiny little italian angel.

“baby, don’t do this.” you grabbed her hand, interlacing your fingers. internally relieved she didn’t resist, you watch her expression carefully. “i just get really worried shauna’s gonna go all stone cold steve austin on you.”

the blonde tried defying the urge glance at you, but she had already read the same sentence over a dozen times.

“y/n, anybody could walk past and hear you right now.”

you shrugged, leaning to press a kiss against hers knuckles. you traced you lips up her arm, humming against the skin of her collarbone. “better give them a show then.”

“y/n…” she gasped when you sucked lightly against her neck.

“yes, my queen?” you murmured, in that raspy tone you knew she was a sucker for. “still not talking to me?”

“okay--enough. i can’t have you stepping in anymore.”

you paused, pulling away. you glanced down at her quivering lip, swallowing thickly. you tilted your head. “what?”

“the stepping in and taking over, i just… it’s making people talk, they’re asking questions and i don’t want that.” nat confessed, her fingers praying away from yours. “i mean, mari and shauna’s been acting up more often, and misty’s being a pain about coach, i just need you to support me.”

her earnest voice made your chest tighten. you felt sick.

“oh,” you hummed softly, “okay.”

“thank you,” nat forced a smile. she stood abruptly, the warmth of her skin against yours fizzing into the air as she cleared her throat. “i’m gonna, uh, i’m gonna go talk to akilah. check in and see how the animal pen’s holding up.”

yup. you definitely resented antler queen nat with all of you.

at this point, you were determined to get her off that throne. you were desperate.

you were sick of giving yourself excuses as to why the one person you had once truly believed had your best interest at heart was making you feel like talking to you was the last thing she wanted to do.

like you were such a chore.

like she’d rather let akilah chirp about that stupid petting zoo than kiss you.

like she’d rather let fucking misty yap all day about her creepy obsession with coach than to have a good, normal conversation with you that didn’t concern your duty as the hunter or hers as the queen.

you were beginning to forget how her lips felt. what she tasted like. you hadn’t even gotten a hug, a cuddle at night. she would simply sleep beside you, like you were contagious.

fuck, you hated antler queen nat. did you mention that?

lottie was right. she was barely even queen anymore. she had no power over shauna and her incessant tantrums, she hadn’t been hunting since last winter when javi had been slaughtered, and she was growing sick of trying to contain her internalized guilt, the anger gnawing at the bars, threatening to throw her into a state of hysteria so deep into the burrow she would not be able to claw her way back out.

you were the hand that ruled by your own instincts, undaunted by posed danger (civil or foreign) and merciless. you were willing to stare a doe down before shooting between its eyes.

you sought guidance from within your own voice.

unlike lottie, you didn’t desire approval from a higher authority.

unlike nat, you weren’t stunted by your humanity.

you were the fix, the stricken balance between morality and benevolence. you’ve earned the respect you get from your peers--you’ve earned their loyalty. you were the high priestess. and you deserved to be antler queen.

since, you’ve been pursuing--no, preying on the throne.

“what’re you thinking? you can’t just go and hunt him down like he’s some animal--y/n, will you drop the fucking gun and please listen!” the distress in her voice almost made you yield to her instruction.

but you weren’t nat’s little jester. not anymore.

after days of mari’s absence, she had finally stumbled her way back onto camp. she was in much rougher shape than when she had departed. her eyes were bloodshot and her leg was wrapped in some shitty makeshift cast. she was lying to you about her whereabouts the last few days.

all you had to do was lean down, your hands on your knees as you levelled with mari’s sitting figure. with a clenched jaw and a snarl, you asked her a single question: “where is he?”

and that alone was enough to crumble the deceit she initially vowed she would stick to (for coach’s sake).

from the state of his health, his newfound resources, to his refuge, mari did not hold back on spewing information.

and now, you were ready to avenge for the loss of the cabin.

“i’m done listening, natalie. all i fucking do, is listen, and where has that gotten us? at least here, we can be sure if he’s actually innocent, we can keep him fed. because how i see it, running just made him look guilty.” you stuffed ammo into the utility belt akilah and melissa had crafted for you. you looped it over your head, strapping it right across your chest.

“so, what, you’re gonna kill him? he has one leg, for christ’s sake!”

“i’m not going to kill him. i’m going to bring him back here and choke some answers out of him.” you strapped the rifle to the back of your belt. “whether you like it or not.”

“he fled because he’s innocent, y/n, you know this. you know him, he wouldn’t risk all our lives like that.”

nat reached for your belt, but you grabbed her wrist before she could yank it off of you.

“then i guess i’ll get to hear it from him.”

you let go of her wrist, brushing off the way she caressed the tender skin with a frightened grimace. grabbing your own bandana, you wrapped it around your head, letting a couple loose strands fall to frame your face.

“i’ll have him back before sundown. prep the pen for holding.”

nat could not believe her ears. she could not believe such words were coming from your lips. you never defied her wishes, you never sided with a defector as led astray as shauna, you never unsettled her the way you did right now.

how ruthless you were being. how cutthroat.

nat didn’t recognize you, and it disturbed her deeply.

you marched out of your cabin, seeing shauna was already geared up and waiting in the centre by a dormant bonfire. her hair was up, and her knife was tightly wound in her fingers.

“anybody who’s willing to come help, grab a weapon. if you’re not, i don’t want to see anybody leaving this camp until we’re back.” you barked eyeing the circle that had gathered around you. “nat has decided she will not be stepping up to help, and i know many of you will choose to stay by the antler queen.”

you jerked the rifle off your back, cocking in, basking in the lingering echo of the startling sound.

“but if you have an ounce of respect for everything we’ve built here, i suggest you bring this man to justice. ‘cuz he took away our shelter, and because of him, we’ll have to live through the coming winter knowing we might not wake up one morning.” you rested the snout of the rifle on your shoulder, “so, who’s ready to catch some coach ass?”

sharing glances with each other, gradually the team scattered to do as they were told. shauna’s lips quirked up in satisfaction, the most you’ve seen of a positive mien from the brunette.

first, travis left to grab the axe from the lumber station.

then, tai and van submitted in silence, hoisting a fireplace poker and a hunting net respectively.

you caught sight of lottie’s unreadable expression. she observed from the very back of the pack, her arms crossed and her eyes stern. you struggled to make out a lone thought or emotion from her features, but the slight cock of her head to the side gave you all the approval you needed.

as more than half the team, those who are well and uninjured, volunteered themselves to follow your lead, the sudden sound of twigs and leaves crunching from behind you sounded.

eyes followed nat storming back to your hut across camp.

you looked down to the ground, gulping. any other day, you would’ve followed her, consoled her. but you had greater duties to attend to, as she had. she couldn’t hold it against you, but she did, and that deepened her guilt.

you shot your hut one last glance before you led the party off into the woods.

they trailed after you like ducklings after their mother, wielding torches and rope in preparation for the hunt to bleed into nightfall. travis jogged up beside you, shauna and melissa tailing the both of you a few feet behind.

you hadn’t really spoken to travis since javi’s passing. you used to be close, back when the hunting trip spent every waking moment together out in the wilderness. he was such a jerk when you first began spending time together, a misogynistic, selfish little prick who picked on nat a lot.

you even fought him once, grateful your athletic build gave you a levelled physical advantage with the boy.

he was just relentlessly slut-shaming nat, and though the girl lashed out in defence of her own feelings, you could tell it stung. so without thinking, your fist met his face.

in the end, nat pried you off him, cradling your shaking hand as blood smeared across your bruising knuckles.

he wound up with a broken nose and a black eye.

but he grew more tolerable with time, as grief accelerated his growth. he had to step up to take care of his brother, then he had to step up to feed the team, then come to terms with the loss of his flesh and blood before consuming him.

you hadn’t spoken, because you’ve been busy. but you had your own reservations about him since he started hanging around lottie and her supernatural nonsense more.

“hey,” he grumbled, “do you know where we’re going?”

“i don’t know, travis,” you remarked sarcastically, “who’s been hunting these woods the past year?”

he nodded, pursing his lips awkwardly as he looked elsewhere.

“i’ve been meaning to talk to you about something,” he muttered under his breath, like he was whispering a dirty secret. he turned his head, eyeing his surroundings before he turned back to you. “are we gonna just go and kill coach?”

“you’re just like nat in the worst ways,” you scoffed, smirking, “when did i become so violent in everybody’s eyes?”

“you did just threaten us with a rifle, so.” travis raised both his eyebrows, slipping a hand into his pockets.

“what? no, i didn’t. all i did was encourage you to join.”

“yeah, didn’t look like it.” travis chuckled, “you’ve turnt into a real hotshot around here. even the ones who would jump off a plane for nat has turned to a y/n devote.”

you eyed him briefly out of the corner of your eye. “really?”

sensing the skepticism mixed with a tinge of irritation at the statement, travis cleared his throat, rethinking his words carefully. “look, i don’t know what’s going on between you and nat, but just know that, i--well, most of us, really, are behind you for whatever you want to do.”

vexed by the sudden statement, you halted in your steps, startling those behind. “what’re you trying to say, martinez?”

travis glanced back at the girls, particularly, shauna’s eye.

his head hung low, his breath quickening under the weight of the snarl you basked him in. as he gathered the words gagging in his throat, shauna took a step forward.

“nat isn’t fit to lead. she fucking knew where coach was hiding, for fuck’s sake.” she confessed, pointing misty with the tip of her knife. “quigley told me they found a trap he set when they were looking for mari.”

agitated, you tilted your head, lips parting in disbelief.

you approached the curly-haired blonde, and with a visible gulp, she backed with you drawing closer.

“you knew where he was?” your voice quivered.

“no, i--nat said--i was just doing what nat told me! but i-i told her we should’ve told everybody and looked for him, he could be starving! he moves around so slowly, i was thinking about how vulnerable he was to all the crazy beasts around here, and i knew we should’ve said something, but nat told me to keep it a secret!” she stammered, “please don’t hurt me, i was just doing what the queen told me to.”

how could she? after all the speeches on justice and equality she had given? after all the times she told you things should be fair? after she lied to your face many times about what she discovered on her scavenging trips.

when you didn’t answer, the team fell into an uncomfortable position. nobody moved a muscle, not even shauna.

you don’t know what you expected. it’s not like you were dating. nobody knew of the two of you.

and it looks like she’s forgotten it too.

sucking in a breath, you threw your head up with a newfound drive. you glanced around, spotting a mark on a distant tree you had made months ago. it was the right area, around where mari recalled ben had taken her. you looked around, reaching for your rifle over your shoulder before you gestured demands.

wordless. assertive. the alpha leading its pack.

as the sun gradually diminished behind acres of forest, and the glade the yellowjackets have claimed lapsed into a glum atmosphere, nat sits anxious by the fire robin and akilah had started. as the few that stayed prepared dinner, the blonde couldn’t help but sit, consumed by her thoughts.

her hands clasped against her purses lips, her glossy eyes stared blankly into the roaring bonfire.

she was losing it. the pressure of everybody’s expectations for her as the queen was crushing what little sanity she had.

she wanted to cry, throw up and stab something all at once.

nat wasn’t one to complain, she wasn’t one to settle, and she believed it became apparent when she started using her antler queen responsibilities as excuses to stay away from you.

it wasn’t because she wanted to, god, she hated how things were now, but she didn’t want you dragged into the messy makeup of leading such an estranged group of animals.

you were bleeding your way into her role, however, and it troubled her deeply.

as she lies beside your sound, sleeping figure at night, she can’t help but be roused awake by her fears. she has spared every person she loved from herself, she shot her father in the face, for christ’s sake, why you enjoy her company will always be such a mystery to her.

usually, she’d have her drinks ready to console her.

but this, being stranded in the wilderness, was the longest she had ever been forced to be sober.

“nat?”

nat blinked herself from her trance, “lottie--what’s up?”

the brunette gazed down at her, eyes curious.

“you seem troubled. are you worried about y/n?”

the blonde’s breath hitched. “no, it’s--don’t worry about me. how’s the stew coming along?”

“are you afraid she will hurt coach scott?”

“lottie, i really don’t feel like talking about this.”

“she won’t kill him, y’know,” the taller insisted, sitting beside a sighing nat. “y/n may be strong-willed, but she’s reasonable. she’s more fair-minded than you’re giving her credit for.”

the italian ran her hands up her face, through the bangs over her forehead and over the bandana.

“are you afraid of being forced to surrender your title?”

was she? she feels the serene spirit she has managed to foster, in contrast to the harsh essence of winter, has raised morale.

“i don’t care about the title, lottie. but coach isn’t gonna survive if they find him.” nat’s fingers fidgeted, “and they will find him as long as y/n’s at the head of that group.”

“she is quite the gifted hunter,” lottie remarked, “that’s it, then? the thing that’s been bothering you?”

no, it isn’t. “i suppose, yeah.”

“well, i believe everything will work out just fine--!”

“oh my god, they fucking found him!”

both of them sprung to their feet upon robin’s declaration. on one edge of the camp, emerging from the leaves and thick bushes was ben, limping his way within the camp with the mouth of your rifle stuck to the back of his neck.

shauna and travis held lit torches, standing just behind you as you pushed the man to his knees, gun to his head.

nat slapped a hand over her mouth. standing before the knelt man with tears welling in her big, brown eyes.

“y/n, what’re you doing?” she gasped softly.

you let out a shaken breath, slowly dropping the snout of the gun. you slid it back onto your back, a hand on the quaking man’s shoulder. you held your lover’s gaze. she was still queen. she was still in charge. “i promised you i wouldn’t kill him. so here’s your chance to prove him innocent.”

shauna scoffed, “what? he almost set us all on fire, we should fucking execute him!”

you held a hand up, silencing her frustrated outburst. she sneered, scoffing with an exaggerated eye roll.

“we’re putting coach on trial. that way, he gets to tell his story, and we get to flesh out both sides.” you tilted your head, challenging nat’s authority. “what do you say, my queen?”

the blonde shot you that deer in the headlights look. “fine.”

an; first yj fic down… lmk if you guys like it cuz ill write another part if it’s wanted enough. happy reading! xx

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