#narc abuse doesn't exist

[imagoodone-iswear]

and now for the people in the back:

NARCISSISTIC ABUSE DOESN'T EXIST!

WHAT YOU MEAN TO SAY IS EMOTIONAL ABUSE!

STOP DEMONIZING AN ENTIRE GROUP OF PEOPLE (thats a TON of ppl btw) WHO HAVE NO FAULT OF THEIR OWN IN DEVELOPING A DISORDER CAUSED BY ABUSE AND TRAUMA IN AND OF ITSELF!

YOU ARE ONLY DOWNPLAYING AND DISBELIEVING EMOTIONAL ABUSE WHEN ITS JUST AS TRAUMATIZING AS ANYTHING ELSE!

if you use 'narcissistic abuse' as a legitimate category then you also have to acknowledge 'autistic abuse'! you cant use one but then discard everything else because suddenly "that doesnt exist"!

you want to be the good guys? then maybe stop demonizing people who also just have a disorder. im not excusing harmful behaviour or trauma, we all make mistakes, even egotypicals. what i want is for you to stop grouping in every bad experience or interaction with us!

try to understand and help, not demonize. mocking, triggering and putting down narcissists for their symptoms or disorder will never move anyone to get help!

[cryptid-aac]

NPD culture is Everything by LuLuYam

[boyfriendshipz]

Narcissistic abuse doesn't exist!! Narcissists are people with NPD, not abusers. Most abusers don't have NPD, most people with NPD aren't abusers. Don't call abusers narcissists, call them abusers. Stop demonising narcissists. Fuck you.

- a narcissist 💘

[antimisinfo]

Hope it's okay to ask, but I am just really not up to date on terms or anything, what is like.. anything listed within your dni? I know endos clearly, but I have no idea what things like transX or cluster B abuse is at all. was wondering what those even are? thank you!

Trans-x / trans-ID are people who believe you can transition into or identify as things like race, disability, ect. (E.g trans-autistic or trans-chinese)

Cluster B abuse is the belief that people with cluster B personality disorders are always abusive because of their disorder (this is mainly targeted towards those with NPD / Narcissists.) which isn't true, a disorder does not make a person abusive, someone is abusive because they're abusive

I hope that helps! If you have anymore questions feel free to ask us!! /Gen

[3amclothesmonster]

Got an offical diagnoses, actually have npd 🤠

[cccat-in-a-meat-sack]

A list of narc abuse believers for all my lovely pwNPD to block <333

@dragon-master-kai

@liquid-pie

@understandingclusterb-npd

@beenthereregrettedthat

@wilwheaton (hasn't been on for a few months but oh well)

@terrified-of-life

@secretlykoishi

@lostmf (I believe)

@nothing0fnothing

@greenevergreens

@silent-t0n

@not-a-narc-apologist

@anscathmarcach (they blocked me boo hoo)

@galactic-spec-of-dust

@selkie-ifs

@internum--urbes (also hasn't been on for a while)

@daughterofanarcissistwoman

@narcissistic-abuse-blog (wow they have their own blog :0 they hate borderlines too just so y'all know)

@furiousgoldfish

@webanglikethat (not 100% sure????)

@jay7vera

@daringdaphne

@enbygunderson

@houseofdonald

@uncoveringthenarcissist

@callmecandle

@dontbestupiditsnotthathard

@soberscientistlife (doesn't really believe in narc abuse per se, but still is very anti-NPD)

@survivingnarcissism

@howtohealfromnarcissisticabuse

@healingchildhoodtrauma

@snapnarissisticabuserecovery

@narcsurvior (either the above two blocked me or their blogs don't exist anymore)

@beauspot

@cosmic0de

@howtohealfromnarcissisticabuse

@narcopathicabuse

@narcsurvivor

@actuallydiagnosedtraumagenic (says that's it's okay to say you can be a narcissist without having NPD)

To find these people I used the following tags: #narcissistic abuse #narcissistic abuse is real #raised by narcissists #surviving narcissism

This is not an argument post. If you want to argue, shoot me an ask. This is a blocklist so that pwNPD can feel safe. You don't like, block me or send an ask. I am not here to care about your feelings. This list is also not complete/definitive. If you have other people to add, again, send an ask or comment. I love you NPD's <333

[theflaggerrrr]

" CatInfant (Left), SharkStigma (Middle) & DragonClaimer (Right) "

CatInfant: A stance related to fighting against the infantilization of neurodivergent individuals, such as autistic people and people with ADHD.

SharkStigma: A stance related to fighting against the stigmatization and demonization of neurodivergent individuals, such as people with NPD and ASPD. This stance also doesn't believe in "narc abuse" or any variations of it.

DragonClaimer: A stance related to fighting against fake claiming of neurodivergent individuals, such as systems. This also goes against the refusal to believe certain disorders exist or are as rare as people say they are.

NOTE: These are not neurodivergent exclusive. Allys can use them too.

[ID: A transparent image that says "Willy holds no DNI, but is not afraid to block." with a picture of the account's mascot (mentioned in the introduction) upside down.]

[imagoodone-iswear]

once again, now for the people in the back:

NARCISSISTIC ABUSE DOESNT EXIST!

WHAT YOU MEAN TO SAY IS EMOTIONAL ABUSE!

STOP DEMONIZING AN ENTIRE GROUP OF PEOPLE (THATS A TON OF PEOPLE, BTW) WITH A PERSONALITY DISORDER THAT WAS NOT THEIR FAULT AND MOSTLY CAUSED BY TRAUMA AND ABUSE IN AND OF ITSELF!

(edit 4/08/24: this post is badly worded and no longer accurately portraying my views on this topic (its just too short to do so); please rb the redo of this post here)

[sodomit]

Folks, you gotta stop putting "against narc abuse" in your stuff when you mean "against the idea that narc abuse exists". It doesn't look the way you think it does.

[traumatizeddfox]

Idk where I stand on the term narc abuse but 2 things to bring up.

First, the jury is out on if abuse via narcissistic tendencies (not related to npd inherently) via specifically the term "narc abuse" is real or not. Theres both official and unofficial sources, charities, University/medical journals, etc that acknowledge it as different from more common forms of abuse/how the abuse is brought on and why (someone being physically abused due to their abuser being on drugs and over-reacting to a small trigger vs someone getting physically abused due to percieved sin/religious undertones will have varying experiences, ones that reasonably involve different labels) this warrants a different label and plenty that do not and criticize it. I won't judge a terminology when even medical professionals can't seem to decide yay or nay. I just figured I'd mention it because the only way people know this term usually is TikTok but it's actually older than TikTok, they just picked it up. There is a difference between someone with npd and someone whose a narcissist in a non-medical/mood/personality disorder way and I do think the people trying to use the term should differentiate the two but to be fair, most people don't even know about npd and therefore would only be talking about egotistical people, not nessesarily pwnpd. I also think it's nessesary to bring up that Tumblr has obscure and hyper niche veiws on topics with zero room for conversation and just as plenty of pwnpd on Tumblr are adverse to the term, there also plenty of pwnpd on Tumblr and other platforms who acknowled/support it as a term, do not take offense and/or understand its usage and what it means without direct correlation to the disorder but more as a grouping of actions/beliefs with the label outside of medical contexts. The term narcissist and the actions associated have existed as a stand alone personality type (like sloth doesn't automatically mean someone with Chronic fatigue syndrome or Thief doesn't mean kleptomaniac) long before the disorder got its name and associations, plenty of people call egoists narcissists and it's not offensive suddenly. Understanding words have multiple meanings and contexts is important here, Rape dosent even automatically mean sexual assualt, sometimes it just means steal or kidnapping. All this to say it's budding mental health related language, it will take what already exists and expand upon it. Same as when the words triggers and gaslighting got popular then promptly died. Your free to take your stance, I'm not invalidating it, I'm just sharing some facts cause as a long time user of Tumblr, it seriously screwed my views of the world and narrowed them to a pin prick about what's acceptable and agreed upon and what isn't and should be shunned. Only after stepping outside the site did I learn just how little 90% of discourse here actually matters and affects the world at large. Consider this whole part devil's advocate but presenting only the people who side with you as evidence when this isn't a "is climate change real?" Sort of stance where 98% of the field agrees is disingenuous. The field is split here and very few people are actually considering this label to specifically mean pwnpd and more mean specific forms of mental and emotional abuse and neglect that usually comes from a place where the abuser sees themselves as better than others, see the victims as threats to their high standing and see others as means to their ends. Again, Idk if I support the term or not, I'm just relaying information.

Lastly, #2, trying to say that anyone who feels they are a victim of specifically "narc abuse" is just trying to "feel special" is fucking horrific and invalidating regardless of your feelings on the term. Regardless of the words they use to describe the abuse they experienced, they still experienced abuse and trying to imply they are lieing or attention-seeking is fundamentally abuse-apologist shit. The same shit gets said to every other victim of abuse and just because you don't like the label dose not mean they think they are special or different and what they describe is suddenly not fucking abuse. They are still actively victims even if they arnt perfect ones. I'm disabled, I'm fully aware if the term "disabled abuse" came out cause a few people got beat with grandma's cane or their disabled abuser used their mobility aid to hurt them I'd be fighting it cause that's not fair and disabled only means one thing, however, I would never EVER invalidate their trauma from that physical abuse. I would never say they never experienced any wrongs or they think they are special cause it was abuse from a disabled person. No matter where you stand, that was a fucking terrible thing to say and imply. You can shit on a label without invalidating real victims of real abuse. No one in this debate was questioning the victims until you just did, they only criticized the label they were using. You can get that victim-blaming perfect-victim shit and shove it up your ass. And no, I'm not a victim of that form of abuse, if it even exists, but I can see shit when I hear it and that was shit. Shame on you for that.

Okay first thing I want to say first is this. i am sorry if u read my post and misread it or misinterpreted what i was saying. i was not victim blaming anyone lmfao. I was NOT invalidating anyone when I said those who have been abused by narcissists think theyre special. what I was trying to say is that the language around narc abuse is that victims seem to talk about it like its a worse type of abuse. i see people say "if you have been abused by a narcissist its because they saw how special u are!!" and i think thats not ok to tell victims bc victims will romantizie why they were abused!! i remember believing my abuser (who does have npd btw) only abused me bc i was so special and he hated that!! but in reality, he abused me because he's an abuser. an abuser might be triggered by someone, they might hate someone and thats why they abuse. an abuser might have a disorder that can make them react abusively, but its because theyre an abuser. there are plenty of ppl without disorders who abuse, and there are those with npd who dont also abuse. its not a hive mind.

i do not understand why u think i was telling someone that they werent abused. if u spend more than 2 seconds on my blog u will know i validate everyone who has ever been a victim, and those who will become victims.

BUT my point was there are victims out there who seem to treat narc abuse like its a badge. we dont walk around and say ptsd abuse bc ppl would lose their shit if we ever did that. "Narc abuse" is not anything different than any other kind of abuse. can an abuser have npd? yes. can the npd make an abuser respond in a unique or different way? yes same with any pd. but narc abuse is just emotional abuse. ppl will say narc abuse and then go onto explain everything that an abuser does. "Theyre selfish" "They want control" yeah thats an abuser. i think the problem is people now look at symptoms of abuse and say narcissist. i literally see ppl call anyone a narcissist these days.

the issue i have with this as well is that i have seen and heard victims wonder if they are valid because their abuser doesnt have npd bc these victim spaces especially Tiktok have created this belief that abusers are narcissists and ONLY narcissists. can they be? yes. but can an abuser also be a neurotypical? yes.

abusers are just abusers. we dont need to slap some label on there. now is there different levels of abuse? yes ofc. emotional abuse, physical, spiritual, financial, etc are all different kinds of abuse. being abused by ur mother is different than being abused by ur teacher, or partner, etc. but it doesnt mean its worse. ofc there are SITUATIONS that can be considered "worse" in the eyes of the law but at the end of the day. abuse is abuse. a broken ankle is still a broken ankle no matter how it got broken.

victims are all on the same playing field but they try to fight each other and we need to stand together and realize that abusers are the issue!! i dont have any ISSUE or problem with victims who say they were abused by a narcissist but i do have an issue when ppl say narc abuse. and i know a lot of victims who say narc abuse might not even realize what theyre saying. i remember being that person until i started to talk to pwpd, espeically npd, did more research and realized how stigmatizing it is.

the MAIN issue with saying narc abuse is that what ur saying to people with npd that 1) they are not valid if they have been abused. 2) they are abusers. this is dangerous because its generalizing an entire group of those with a disorder that can not change or fix. a lot of victims worry if they have been the abuser bc abusers fuck with ur head thinking ur the bad guy, so if someone with npd sees a post that says all narcissists are abusers they might believe they are one when they arent. im speaking very general. every person with npd is a unique person and i dont SUPPORT every single person with npd bc ofc there are monsters out there who are also abusers , but i do support that people with npd get support and are also included when ppl say mental health matters, or believe all victims.

no one is saying that those with npd cant be abusers, what were trying to change is the language !!! before people believe everyone with schizophrenia was a violent killer until we learned that is not true. we need to do the same with personality disorders.

the history of the word rape does come from the meaning to steal, seize, or carry away but there is PLENTY of words we use in today that are not the same. just look up the history of the word "mother fucker" and you will never want to ever say that ever again. but i dont see what this has to do with ur point in mental health. no one would ever say rape when they mean "steal" we just dont use that word in that way anymore. but to add to this, its a great example as a way to change the meaning of narcissists to be only used for those with the disorder. (yeah ppl can have narcisstic tendencies, we ALL have some level of it, its how we survive but thats different than having a disorder.)

i know tumblr has always had weird takes, and some stuff is strictly an online discourse and doesnt happen irl, but that doesnt mean we cant change the way people view mental health. people have misused gaslighting, triggers, but that doesn't mean we cant stop or change that. most people learn to adapt.

but to finish, i understand where ur coming from and im sorry if u saw my post and were upset but when i see others with npd wishing they could die because they feel like a monster just because they have a diagnosis, it shatters me knowing they feel like there is no support. even therapists are sketchy with pwpd. i just think that we need to change the language around abuse. just say abuse idk why thats so hard!

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

NPD culture is coming across a 'narc abuse truther' and just getting so fucking mad, I want to message them and tell them how stupid they are

Of course I blocked them and I'm going to attempt to just leave it at that because if I did message them they would prolly just do that to me (or worse, turn it into a Cancel Shit Show), but just AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FYUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUXK YOU NARC/NPD ABUSE DOESN'T EXIST!! STOP SAYING AND LINKING SHIT THAT CLAIMS NARCISSTS ARE INHERENTLY EVIL AND HOW TO HURT NARCISSTS

.

[quitblamingnarcissism]

ignore this if it's not as funny as i think it is but while arguing with someone the other day about how the term narc abuse is both inaccurate and stigmatizing, i used the idea of "gay theft" as an example a couple times. i even explained that i meant if you caught someone stealing and they happened to be gay, or more likely you just assumed they're gay, then went on to claim any random theft was "gay theft" or said you were a victim of "gay theft," that that would be pretty homophobic.

this person wrote a whole paragraph asking why i kept bringing up gayness, saying that's totally different because being gay doesn't necessarily affect your behaviour and definitely doesn't make you abusive.

you could fit every building in Dubai between their head and the point. and they blocked me before i could respond so I've been slightly ruminating on how one can survive with non-existent reading comprehension lol

Logic doesn't matter to these people. Logic clearly shows that people without mental illnesses do downright horrible things all the time. If they cared about logic, they wouldn't believe in narcissistic abuse.

[adhbabey]

True crime has literally ruined people's ability to empathize, sympathize with and humanize mentally ill people.

Because of true crime, people see all mentally ill people as potentially dangerous criminals and that's a really bad, shitty thing actually.

I don't know who needs to hear this but there's no such thing as "psychopaths" or "psychopathy", it's something criminal psychologists made up to put mentally ill people in jail. There is no diagnosable disorder as "psychopathy". YOU NEED TO HEAR THIS. And before anyone tries to refute this, those with ASPD and those with psychosis are not "psychopaths". Psychopathy is made up by cops to put people in jail.

I'll go even further, if you assume people with personality disorders or other stigmatized disorders as dangerous or abusive, you're a bad person. Narcissistic abuse isn't a thing, it's called emotional abuse. I'm saying this as someone who's parent who DOESN'T have NPD, but the way they abused us is identical to the way "narc abuse" happens. "Narc abuse" is a made up term to scapegoat a group of mentally ill people. You should understand that is bad.

I have DID, and I cannot tell you enough that there's no such thing as an "evil alter". All people with DID have trauma and those "evil alter"s are literally traumatized parts who struggle to cope with it. They feel threatened by everyone and therefore sabotage or harm to keep us protected. It may not be healthy, but you are lucky to not have gone through that. Don't demonize people with DID, you have no idea what you're talking about.

Those who have delusions and hallucinations are literally more likely to be gaslit and abused than they are to act "dangerously". I'm sorry, have you met people who are scared act dangerously before? No shit. You would act that way too if you were plagued with horrible illusions that you had to face everyday. Step into their shoes, understand what they go through, it's not your room to judge. Even if they weren't scared, even if they could cope with them better, at least they were given room to cope. All you do is shame people for existing.

And as for other personality disorders, they're just normal people living lives where they have to deal with debilitating mental illness. The least you can do is be more compassionate for their situation and understand that they're human too.

True crime and the craze around criminal psychology has literally deteriorated people's capacity to be kind towards disabled and mentally ill people. If you can't look at a person with a personality disorder or another stigmatized disorder without disgust and shame, then you need to overcome internalized ableism. Everyone is capable of bad things, mentally ill or not.

You need to stop pathologizing criminal behavior. (not every bad person you see is mentally ill/disabled).

[saintmeghanmarkle]

Reconciliation with the Sussexes - has the Victim of Abuse a duty to forgive? by u/EleFacCafele

Reconciliation with the Sussexes - has the Victim of Abuse a duty to forgive? Is it Easter season, a time for reconciliation. As a practicing Christian, I had to face the issue of forgiveness in relation to my ex husband. I was a victim of extreme abuse, both physically, emotionally and financially from my ex. I spare you the details, they are appalling. Suffice to say that I found myself suffering from PTSD, in a foreign country, homeless, financially broke and with two devastated teenagers. No family and only one friend as support. All my past life I knew was wiped out in hours. The story of my survival, reinvention and thriving is too long to put it here.The main thing that kept me from having a mental breakdown in those dark years was my Christian faith. The issue of forgiving came very early and I decided to take the path of forgiveness. I forgave my ex in my soul and spirit but made no public mention of it, not even to my sons. Nobody knew about my process of forgiveness and the effort it took to truly forgive. It is a long process and takes time, especially in case of big trauma. But in the end I forgave him in my soul. My PTSD took 20 years to go away.Never told my ex : I forgive you. Why? Because he never asked for forgiveness. I took the liberty to forgive him in my soul but never told him, as his lack of repentance and remorse (typically narc) made telling him unnecessary. My message to the British Royals would be: it is good thing to forgive the Sussexes in your souls according to your Christian faith, but you have no obligation to tell them publicly as long they have no remorse, no repentance. No public display of reconciliation. Jesus tells us to forgive if there is remorse and forgiveness is asked. But in absence of remorse, repentance, guilt, reconciliation must not be offered. The Victim owes nothing to the Abuser, much less forgiveness and reconciliation. It the forgiveness exists, it should be strictly between the wronged party and God, nobody else needs to know about it. Abusers must not be told about being forgiven, as they will take this forgiveness as a sign or weakness, and the Victim as the guilty party. They will get a narc high out of reconciliation. Keep in mind the incident when Catherine the POW, sent flowers to Megsy Markle. The harpy made a public display on Oprah of Catherine being guilty . Narc on a high trip.Anyone who talks about the Royals having to reconcile with the Sussexes doesn't understand what forgiveness and reconciliation is all about. They are pearls not to be given to pigs, as they will destroy them. post link: https://ift.tt/8mvIo5L author: EleFacCafele submitted: April 01, 2024 at 08:24AM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

[cccat-in-a-meat-sack]

Narc abuse believers: narcissistic abuse exists!!!

us: narcissistic abuse doesn't even make sense. it's not specific and tells you literally nothing.

Narc abuse believers: it means someone was abused by a narcissist!!!

us: okay, so we were abused by someone with adhd and someone with bpd, so does that mean we went through adhd abuse and borderline abuse?

narc abuse believers: no!!! you can't say that!!! it's ableist!!!!

us:...do you hear yourself talk

[your-dearly-demented]

"narc abuse isn't real" folk: we did nothing wrong! narcissists are innocent and loving angels

me: why do you keep crossposting into abuse survivor tags with things that invalidate our experiences then? why do you want to prevent us from having a space to talk about narcissistic abuse if it doesn't exist?

"narc abuse isn't real" folk: you're just demonizing our disorder-

me: i have specified multiple times that i just want you to be self-aware and responsible for your own actions, especially when you have a disorder that makes you have a tendency for abusive actions. i would hold a person with anger issues, or a person with anxiety who tends towards fight rather than flight in the same way. but instead you invalidate my experiences as an abuse survivor and try to block me from speaking about my experiences unlike the other folk ive mentioned. how come?

"narc abuse isn't real" folk:

me:

them: just stop :c

me: gladly, when you do