evilsystemm

[evilsystemm]

Life finds a way, even in the cracks of concrete.

[evilsystemm]

npd culture is... how dare you tell me to eat or sleep ??? wtf do you know about my needs ??? stop projecting your wellness bullshit onto me because I'm completely fucking fine as i am and I know how to keep myself alive, thanks.

- 🏛🐚

.

[evilsystemm]

Dazai calling Kunikida Pretty Boy to frustrate him and see him turn red. He does it all day and and only stops for a bit when he gets the idea to sneakily cut Kunikida’s hair tie. Kunikida tries to get his work done without his hair up but just grows more and more annoyed with it getting in his face, but he doesnt have another hair tie.

Naturally he takes off his ribbon and uses it to tie up his hair.

Dazai comments how it looks like he’s taken being a Pretty Boy to heart. He gets smacked upside the head and an earful of Kunikida scolding him for flirting on the clock, but the second they get off work he shyly asks if the ribbon looks stupid, and of course Dazai assures him it looks beautiful in his hair.

Maybe Kunikida doesn’t hate being pretty, maybe he just hates Dazai running his mouth.

[evilsystemm]

mania rage will actually kill me or someone else

[evilsystemm]

Not to be a narcissist but I have so much influence and I make people's lives worth living just by speaking. And it doesn't even take much effort. I can survive literally anything, barely anything hurts me emotionally or physically and I can go days without sleep and water and food and I can walk for miles and miles and I can ignore that my shin is bruised and I have so many friends, I'm well known in many spaces I'm popular by definition. I have amazing memorisation ability and my cognitive empathy is off the charts. I was tested to have an above average IQ when I was diagnosed with autism as a kid. I know exactly what to say in every situation. Multiple people are interested in me romantically and sexually. Im great at problem solving and distress tolerance. I know all there is to know, I impress people constantly with how I speak and the things I know. Im so beautiful, I have healthy, good looking skin, hair and nails. My friends are attractive, popular, talented and intelligent. Everything is so so amazing.

[evilsystemm]

STOP STOP STOP I LOVE YOU

probably gonna be really cringey but i gotta spread my word so

I love my fp so much genuinely as much as i hate having bpd i feel like my love for them/p wouldnt be the same otherwise. i feel so deeply connected to him its like we are on the same brainwaves and everytime i talk to him i get all giddy and its so refreshing to have someone that just doesnt judge you for anything (to a point obviously). Hes so supportive to me and he always knows what to say and can tell when im upset even if i dont update simply plural or mention it. no one else does that for me. And the fact that i am *chosen* like the whole concept behind that it makes me feel so special and wanted that someone so guarded and who has been through so much can trust me and i dont think i will ever find someone i can love more than him because the standards have been set so high theres no way i could ever settle for less in a friendship or a relationship (not that i havent tbh actually thinking about that but the thought is there)

The fact that we could go back to talking like normal after 6 months of no contact is insane? Like we are literally so similar yet so different hes like my second half. Also like we have literally never argued more than like once? Over the four/FIVE? years we have known eachother woah gang woah.

ILY YOUR MY BEST FRIEND EVER BESTEST BESTEST FRIEND GANGNAM STYLE

/ALL PLATONIC PLEASE PLATONIC I SWEAR

[evilsystemm]

ASPD culture is the irony of struggling to look invested while others try to act detached for attention.

ASPD Culture is

[evilsystemm]

Sometimes you just gotta say "makes sense" or "I understand" and move on even if it doesn't make sense to you or you don't understand

[evilsystemm]

some people conflate experiencing symptoms with anti recovery and it's an teensy bit devious and dare I say odd

[evilsystemm]

NPD culture is being self aware and feeling in pain when you feel your narcissism is acting up. No, no I don’t want this. I have hurt people because of my disorder and I am trying too stop that. No, no please don’t take over me. I don’t want this. I don’t deserve to have this disorder. I am ill, but I have hurt people and I can’t do that. Not again.

.

[evilsystemm]

NPD culture is bottling up all of your rage because you don’t want to be a stereotypical narcissist. Sure, I’m gonna crash really hard later but right now I am the righteous narc who stands above the neurotypicals and I do not let my rage get the better of me

.

[evilsystemm]

npd culture is following less people than you have followers just to feel like some kind of celebrity (it's not like anyone else can see the numbers on tumblr but i do it anyway)

.

[evilsystemm]

narc 4 narc culture is one of you finally admitting something you felt so ashamed about and the other going "oh I do/think that too" but they just never thought it worth mentioning

[evilsystemm]

how to not feel like I am a horrible terrible person for having symptoms that are out of my control and completely harmless to others because of how I mask/channel them but also can't help but feel really ashamed and sad that I'm like this because I'm supposed to be nice and it's like I have a big secret. :( no glue no borax

[evilsystemm]

sometimes npd is really really serious and causes strain on relationships because of fear of reputation damage, difficultly empathising etc. and sometimes it's just getting really upset because someone's comment almost – almost, not even does – has more likes than yours on an arbitrary instagram reel.

[evilsystemm]

NPD culture is only other pwnpd truly understanding you (and they don’t judge you for your symptoms/traits)

- 🦝 (claiming this sign off)

.

[evilsystemm]

npd culture is catching yourself being mean to someone in your head without even thinking about it and making yourself apologize to them in your head, because, damn, I am NOT going to become a stereotype!!!

-🪷🪡

.