#n im kinda just. going thru it n
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Finally organizing our simply plural n having to 'vibe check' all the ppl listed there before i start drawings
#for context (also bcs i love oversharing)#we have a lot of maladaptive daydreams AS characters n sometimes we get confused on if they are introjects or just daydreams#so some ppl we have listed in our sp either were daydream ppl or no longer exist#n im kinda just. going thru it n#vibe check is literally the only way i can describe it but finding a specific feeling that pretty much tells me if they#r active or were a split#gatekeeper things#also i have no clue who i am but i have gatekeeper skills so a gatekeeper probablyyy#-blurry#sysblr#simply plural
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ough brain is doing SO bad but sometimes. there are colors
#bakuspeech#WIP#cw: gore#the stuffed animal cartoon kind. but still#ask to tag#Im so fucking sorry I keep going like I will draw! (does not draw for three weeks#I. ngl Somethin is goin on up there. I finished writing a Thing and it doesnt solve that#I just. this is my capacitance really I think. I just gotta. accept it. work with it#its always so funny tho bc like I look at whatever it is Im drawing rn and its like hey this looks like shit! this looks ass#and then I keep drawing it.#like this piece is at Least two weeks into something thats supposed to be a pretty quick revised illus for#an old wizard leon design. and like if I werent Bit Off it wouldve stayed that way#instead. this is how its goin#I have not slept for 23 hours. I should uh. fix that#but yeah its just. my brain is wrappin itself around some new ideas n concepts n shit rn#like. I was really afraid I wouldnt be able to paint digitally if Im not on the screen tablet#and its kinda fuckin with me? like obviously I can. I am literally doing the exact same things Im doing on the screen tablet#but now on a graphic tablet#thats just. not getting thru to my brain yet. for some reason. its still generating goo n such#well! what is a guy to do. if not blastin off regardless#sorry. I really should sleep now#have a good night lads! this piece will be done when its done. I am NOT saying more I am not jinxing SHIT#u should change ur pillowcases! it really does send u to another realm
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Hazel the happy daycare hare has handy facts for fun friends to use (that fellows may find helpful in fending for oneself in the festering dark of Freddy Fazbear's)
...and more doodles, continued below!
#doodle dump#hazel the happy hare#hazel the daycare hare#hazy daysy#tw violence#tw implied violence#she can b a litle bit unhinged. as a treat#also fun fact hazel hates herself n uses the way other ppl treat her (being annoyed/aggravated) as a way to justify her actions n attitude#so when someone is nice to her? she falls to pieces bc oh god shes really just a rotten cruel little monster isnt she#i kinda wanna make a comic where hazel tries to bait sun or moon into saying they hate her#idk tho i rlly do just b kinda lazy these days sfjksdhfs#anyway#fnaf oc#fnaf sb oc#fnaf dca oc#fnaf self insert#self insert oc#meme doodle#shitposty stuffs#idk im just. im going thru it these days#hhf sorry#i wanna b better i swear
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thinking about cinderlion kits and how hollytufts reaction to flywhisker and snaptooth leaving to become kittypets was to aggressively call them traitors
#i speaku#rotating these six guys in my brain#i know i said i wish cinderlion had way smaller litters and i still feel the same way now but i can still think about them#w a dynamic of having drifted apart due to the shit theyve been going thru as well as the distance bet the two litters bc of age and stuff#nd spotfur feeling so ostracized from her fam bc of 'gestures at everything'#im ngl the first lotter really genuinely are kinda just there 😭#litter*#i wonder if you couldbe just made them be one singular cat and it wouldve worked better#thats an interesting dynamic i think... a one kitten litter being excited over the prospect of having siblings when cinder n lion announce#the news and getting devastated when two of the second litter decide to leave#maybe they n spotfur couldve beeb close once but the hypothetical only child just xouldnt get rid of those feelings of betrayal and anger#that their sibs left just grew very distant bc of that#i like sibling dynamics have i mentioned that yet
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guess whos not going in at all this week, actually
#MY MANAGER EMAILED LIKE 2 HOURS B4 I HAD TO GO IN#she finally changed my schedule (1 day) to the night shift today#(i emailed her to be safe just kinda casually reaffirming im going in at the new time & then asking if any other shifts wanted 2 be changed#bcs that sounds great to me whstever option she goes with#she ignored that question & i get a new email from her asking if i completed a training. lets called it DOC#basically a long time ago she said 'i will send you DOC instructions soon' .. a few days pass and i get three 50 paged packets#one is called NAVIGATING DOC#im like oh ok cool that must be the DOC training shes talking abt bcs the other 2 packets were abt various trainings#NAH BRUH. APPARENTLY THE DAY IM SUPPOSED TO GO IN. SHE MESSAGES ME SOME ENTIRELY ALIEN PROGRAM#and is like 'u completed this right? cus if u didnt u cant come in today.'#LIKE?? MAYBE I WOULDA IF U SENT THE SHIT#but it's also like. dam i shouldve emailed prompting her to send what she said she would n clarifying BUT FUCK#WHY DO I GOTTA?? IM NOT THE MANAGER#she literally told me the name of the program rn thru email so i type it in and see like four hour long modules to complete#mind u i aint never even been informed a WHISPER abt this new program. nothings even labeled DOC TRAINING#but my struggle is. was i notified this?? and i just didnt see??? was i supposed to clarify with her what the DOC training was exactly??#the only thing ive heard abt doc training b4 this is 'i need to send u DOC training soon' in EMAIL. so i expected an alert#abt THE DOC TRAINING... in an EMAIL notification. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS#idk man#i dont even care bro like im busy as hell & the work is just to build clinic hours so i dont care abt the money factor#it's just like. can we get this first day jitters thing over with already?? im so over this bro#yaddayadda i emailed her an apology n ill be on that ASAP shit. but i did let her know i am basically justnnow seeing this site#n if there was any email or notif that couldve/tried to inform me of its existence 2 pls let me know / figure out how to find it#so the issue doesnt occur again & i dont have to keep botherinher which im so srry of bcs med is stress n shes just trying to get by#but still bro im a lil miffed bcs she probably thinks im stupid now and now im wondering if i AM#bcs WDYM ONLINE MODULES. AINT NOBODY SAID SH IT EVEN ABT THE EXISTENCE OF THEM!!! i wouldve pressed harder 4 clarification#if i knew it was an ONLINE MODULE i had to look out for on some randomass site i didnt even know the name of until now#instead of the EMAIL UVE BEEN 'COMMUNICATING' WITH ME ON#ARREGHHHHHHHH IM NOT STUPID. I SWEAR IM NOT STUPID FUCCK MY BAKA LIFE
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alas i have been sick this week so here are some drawings of my splat squid (+ octopus) Leaf and Cyan
[IMG ID: Two images, image one is a doodle page of a green haired inkling from Splatoon with various ingame weapons and outfits.
Image two features more doodles with a blue-haired octoling. The leftmost drawing features text that reads: "It's so much better in Splatsville it never gets cold." and "maybe if you didn't cut the sleeves off every shirt you own you wouldn't have this problem." /END ID]
#they get progressively worse bc i got sick halfway thru when i was going to make them look better lol..then i gave up#splatoon#myart#myocs#sort of. theyre just for fun they have no depth besides leaf being loud and she kinda sucks..ive mostly just had these two since 2015#they should let me have a chain wallet in splat3.#when i started the first pic i hadnt actually learned splatana wiper until like. that night n loved it n now im gettin wipeouts w the stamp#so i had 2 swap out the forge for it there.. sorry forge. i still love u but not as much now
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you know i had to. and i spent way too much time on this. now you must suffer with me :]
#I HAD THIS PLANNED FOR SO LONG. THE SECOND I NOTICED 'wait the penguin band has four members-'#THIS WAS KIND A CHORE TO FINISH TODAY HAS BEEN WACKY MY ATTENTION SPAN IS NONEXISTANT#i love having kinda severe unmedicated adhd#i spent hours going back n forth between finishing this and scrolling thru stuff/chatting with friends/finding videos to watch as bg noise#so today has been an interesting day hsjsjsh spent like 4ish hours just doing the last line stuff and coloring it in which would normally#take me like an hour but then agian this is multiple characters#ANYWAYS#ENOUGH RAMBLES.#BE CURSED WITH THIS IMAGE YOU FOOLS#club penguin#the penguin band#stompin bob#franky#g billy#petey k#guz art#for your information NO i do not like weezer#im weezer neutral but i like playfully bullying friends who like it. its the same as being british. i then get bullied back#for supposedly being jerma
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really glad that im out at the cabin bc i can fr go out and just chop wood to process my feelings i guess
#idk why but it’s really getting to me that we (me n k***) kinda have to cancel bc of a misunderstanding#since hes litchrally never available bc he overworks himself#like man i was looking forward to this but i cant go back to the city on such short notice and without a spare car#so. like i guess theres still that orchestra trip but it’s not the same. we’ll have to wait for quite a while. idk man im just goin thru it#more than usual for some reason#probably cause im just festering here since it fr looks like my laptop wont connect to wifi anymore idk why. so i didnt bring it since i#wouldnt be able to work on school stuff anyways#hngngngngngnggggg yeah fuck it. eating smth and going out to finish chopping wood before it gets too too cold#mandont#personal
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ok not to randomly go off on a somewhat negative ramble But. (general genshin story direction worries basically)
while there are a bunch of stunts i fear the genshin story slash lore could end up pulling that would serve as not only disappointments but to varying degrees also just retroactively ruin a lot of games writing for me. i dont think theres anything that im as genuinely concerned about as the possibility of like. completely losing their narrative marbles to an overdone time travel/temporal manipulation in one way or another like just the thought of that shit haunts me
bc like. while i dont find them particularly compelling as an argument for that to be the case regarding Everything in the narrative in current lore/theory circles (like. makoto n ei teaming up w istaroth once doesnt automatically establish universal time travel). it is unfortunately true that in canon lore there are many of the kind of lore pieces present that you could use to set that kind of reveal and complete restructuring of the story up. istaroth and the sacred sakura and some shady things said by various characters and how you could argue Any time loop or travel adjacent is just hidden by the irminsul 5head (another piece of writing whose potential misuse seriously alarms me, mind you). and so on.
and i am just. Not about any of that shit. like. for me absolutely any plot device or element that has the risk of fundamentally fucking up a storys continuity and coherence sideways to the degree BOTH the
"genshins gonna turn out to be ALL time travel/time loop/simulation to make [sudden endgame twist X heavily at odds with what was established in the central lore prior] appear sensible"
and
"celestia just irminsuls away all evidence for [that twist X again] so achsually it was always genius and compatible with lore"
tier of nightmare scenarios will have. is just. Not fucking worth it. this shit has ruined countless stories with vastly better writing and way more competent authors because its just. not the kind of stuff you can just insert in a massive fucking story willy nilly to explain away the mystery box you didnt bother to set up together so it ultimately comes together in a cohesive way that Doesnt need to be broken on multiple levels to scrape together some conclusion. and its just hhhhhhhhhhhhhh
and like ive never expected some massive masterpiece out of genshin like at best its gonna be one of those stories that once finished gets some really fucking banger fanwork as its community expands upon and explores a solid but flawed canon groundwork. theres fundamental flaws and limitations to its storytelling and format and that cant be helped. so im expecting no miracles on that front.
but the one fucking thing i dont want them to fall for is that misguided at best and outright pretentious and disrespectful at worst allure of. SEE! we outsmarted the audience! the theories! we broke our own story continuity to force a twist because our established worldbuilding technically makes it an option! isnt this smart!
like just please. no. no clue how unpopular this is but im already quite conflicted on the established use of irminsul in sumeru and how it arguably voided a lot of important characterization (nahidas inferiority complex) and narrative potential (scara literally becoming a non factor in the grander story more or less) for good but like. for now. fine. it hasnt become overused yet. i dont think its inherently bad as a factor of worldbuilding. i like how it recontextualizes fact and fiction and the significance of stories that appear mere fables in the world of teyvat. but as it stands the irminsul is still a deus ex machina. and thats a dangerous tool for any writer to have in careless use. and when combined with the sprinkles of lore involving the possibility of time manipulation and such to be further explored. its like powder and keg. two tools that can absolutely gut a story of its narrative cohesion and the weight of its stakes in an instant. its really fucking worrisome.
genshins writing is flawed but the one thing this game has going for it that i REALLY hope the writers will understand to respect is its world. how much the marriage between this massive and beautifully crafted immersive open world and the intricacies of lore and history afforded to all corners of it truly do in tandem to establish the world of genshin as more Real. as weightier. as a place you grow and remain attached to even when the main storys writing stumbles. the world is so important and to let it remain feeling real is just. i hope they understand how fragile of a gem that is.
featuring an artificial world order established by fraudulent divinity and that involving some degree of cosmic fuck-uppery of the natural order and all-encompassing illusion to maintain it is fine. this is a story heavily referencing gnosticism that theme is literally a given. but it needs to be an artificial world order imposed on a real world that remains feeling real the entire time through. and for that to be preserved it needs to remain grounded.
but the problem is that once a story truly commits to the "anything could be altered and fundamentally reversed with the right mcguffin at play with seeming impunity" there is no going back. it becomes very fucking difficult to keep the figurative feet of a narrative even touching the ground for even the most skilled of writers afforded absolute creative freedom to work with (which genshin does not have). and just that much more easier for the stakes to be lost completely. and i dont want to see that scenario become reality
#like. idk i wont speak as an authority in this bc i quit before the moon arc finished but#while it doesnt to my knowledge necessarily feature the exact kind of deus ex machina that i worry abt with genshins story#the impression i did get from the start of the arc that i attempted to play thru and just from overall hearsay#(and arguably these cracks started showing much earlier too anyway)#hi3rd kinda fell victim to this weightlessness of its world developing and what shouldve been a brilliant finale just#never landed as it could have. the story lost focus tje world became a jumble of new lore drop and wall of science jargon text after anothe#i genuinely couldnt keep up with the last few arcs. flamechasers were carried by their personalities and pink jesus but like.#writing and narrative wise? its highly questionable and a mess. anyway idk where exactly im going w this uhhhh ig that like#even the hoyo game (over. arguably)hyped the most for a good story ended up with this lackluster implosion of its weight n potential#and reveived mixed response (afaik again) or had ppl outright quitting like myself bc it just wasnt pulling my heart in anymore#anyway i do have plenty of other gripes w genshins writing n other fears but this ones just the biggest one. all the others are like#more subjective and less all encompassing in how badly they would affect the rest of the story#in the end this is just random rambling and me being paranoid abt what to me is the worst case scenario#lets hope im wromg and if uou read all this bullshit get a sticker HSJSJSKFKSK 😭😭#genshin#rambles#long post
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i find it so funny to see people who still have "dsmp fans DNI" in their dnis cus the only people who are still active fans of the DSMP at this point are the chill ones. like all the dream stans are just dream exclusive fans now and significantly more annoying than any DSMP fan ever was
#grymms spectacular fucking posts#im and ex-dsmp fan for anyone wondering#nothing against it i just lost interest after schlatts character died#I've been kinda lurking n watching stuff go down since then thru my mutuals posts n stuff tho
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Assortment of sketches n doodles of my most recent brainworm inducers
#couldve cleaned some of these up more and arranged them more nicely but ehhhh#sharing anyway tho cos they are On The Brain <3#dao#oc: noya tabris#oc: var'renan mahariel#mutton the mabari#(he gets his own tag too :] )#my ocs#my art#i think i gotta change my strategy for this playtrhu cos so far ive been 'leading' with noyas and consequently kinda rushing thru renans#which makes sense cos she is the one who does most of the talking n stuff rn but its still a shame#ik im probably making this wayy more complicated than it has to be lmao but its fun to figure out in any case#edit: oh also side note cos i know it probably doesnt make much sense w/o context hdfslfd but noya and renan dont get on very well rn#bc they both got prejudices and theyre both not making it any better bc noya wants to actually like. talk#cos how are we gonna solve anything otherwise?? but also renan is not in the headspace for any of this rn which she doesnt get#so its just a cycle of them getting fed up with one another#but yea theres a lot going on with them rn and im super bad at explaining it hdlsjdf
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ok wait i realized i can just use my gallery's text & draw thing this is great
this is what i mean by 'the clan au doesnt have a set story'. theres all these places that it can branch off of and the possibilities r endless and i have *counting* ..14 scenarios/storylines so far and every time i think of a new scenerio another gets added<3
[slight bit more info for all the branches so far]
i havent done much with the kny-canon leaning ones they're more just like if i did follow canon thats how it'd be done ykno? im thinking they get raided by the shinazugawas for control of the trade routes and either they both survive like that one post or only giyu survives, either way Sakonji takes in the living tomioka(s)
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most of the stories arent tied down to canon theyre more whatever worldbuilding i have and stories pop up from them- one of the first ones was the shina-tomi failed peacetalks bc i wanted to draw sanemi & giyuu fighting (i just realized i placed the branches perfectly bc thats closer to canon than the others lol)
if the peacetalks worked(wouldve been later/after sanemi took over) then it kinda snowballed into a few nearby/allied clans forming a village, then from that theres the Tomi-Daki diplomat/trade envoy w the fox trio(giyu makomo & sabito)
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the rescues are like. little to no formal interactions between any of the three clans(shina-kumeno is always allied), in the first one its winter and giyu's on his way home when he catches the trail of bloodline hunters and saves Genya & Masachika.
in the other one giyu's pinned by a rogue shinobi and sanemi & sabito both find him at the same time and they make a lil truce bc giyu has severe chakra exhastion and cant make it home
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undercover mission has one thats purely sanegiyu; sanemi is disguised as Kazura & giyu as Gikuro and actually i looked back at my notes and this ones like. in the past before the village branch. so it connects to that one but it can also be a standalone. the other undercover mission is sabisanegiyu where sabito & giyuu went undercover as a master/servant thing and sanemi was disgusted by it and didnt know that it wasnt Real so he tried to 'save' giyuu and got invited to the polycule<3
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the lil unnamed branches inbetween is that one where giyu got chased out the clan by tsutako for killing their mom, there was a spy who had taken her place and giyu noticed and killed the spy but tsutako only saw him killing their mom and she lost her shit in dispair & heartbreak. theres a branch for Giyu staying alone, Sabito ditching the urokodakis for his packmate while makomo stays behind to fix things with tsutako, and both Sabito & Makomo ditching the urokodakis for their packmate
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the arranged marriages are sanegiyu with the first branch being after sanemi takes over and giyu asking for it ot of goodwill & he likes him(his pack gets to stay w him). other two Kyogo requested(demanded) it for trade routes, he doesnt allow the urokodakis to go with bc theyre Not Tomiokas and these routes more heavily portray the different biology of the southerners/mountain-pass(a/b/o)
ones angsty bc sanemi is like. CRUSHED that he cant find love on his own. his father takes literally everything away from him. while sanemi is kind & respects giyu he doesnt really care for him. and for giyu to go from a very close-knit family-oriented culture to the stone cold-cutthroat/conservative/severely traumatized/individualist culture of the shinazigawas with literally No One there for him he gets pretty fucked up w the emotional neglect
the other ones less angsty bc sanemi actually Tries in their relationship and finds that he actually enjoys giyu's company- and cuddles. the cuddles r fuckin great. but kyogo's still a cunt and a massive hindrance to emotional and mental healing of everyone around him. but sanemi's not alone now so its Better
#kny clan au#im Hoping that by posting this ppl will ask abt some of them n add their own two cents for ideas to flesh them out more#actually im realizing now that this is. probably incredibly niche and self indulgent. its naruto systems x kny characters#+ giyuu-centric as fuck w a lot of sabigiyu & sanegiyu#i swear its not all about giyu im making a better map of the world & it has so many other clans & fandoms to play with#i just havent focused on anything other than giyu bc hes my lil guy. my lil loserboy beloved. u understand right????#i wanna explore more shit with other people i have an entire continent of political shit to figure out#all i got so far is that w the bigass mountain straight thru the middle the tomi-daki pass is the safest for traders so a lot go thru there#and they specifically run like. protection details for passer-bys so people dont die from the elements. which means they get access to#literally every trader that goes through. theyre fucking GOLDEN and other clans either want to ally w them or attack them for their own#control. but theyre mostly safe from that bc their compounds r way up in the mountains & theyre used to the rough terrain.#its like people invading russia in winter- its just not on your side dude.. go back home..#theres also the Inarizaki from land of water trying to stake a post on the mainland near the kochos. so they went to the shinazugawas for#Reputation & actually really good firepower against attackers. even if theyre on the other end of that half of the continent.#i love worldbuilding#i did it for ocs but it started as a kid so its like. all over the place. i cant make sense of it & my ocs kinda bore me & i ended up Here#using my anime characters as lil dolls w a vague sense of their original character/personality bc i changed So Much-#if anyone inquires or not i Will be posting more about any and all of the branches Eventually#hhh stop typing Send Post#oh wait fuck i have to put it in the maintaga for people to see#fuck. shit. post be upon ye#kny#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#giyuu#sabito#makomo#sanemi
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hello hi bonsoir — my dash is the sahara desert rn, a barren post-apocalyptic wasteland. pls send blogs to follow i am on my knees!! xoxoxoxo
#baka bants#im happy with any fandom tbh!!#im not rly hyperfixatin on any at the moment but just the#jjk csm bllk bnha hq !! general fandoms#or u know what if theres any other fansomsbu think r#fun n fresh#im happy to dive in#(minus trigun soz ive tried multiple times in the past but couldnt get into it)#(granted it was the og one so its super dated and it felt dated in a way i didnf care for)#(genshin is always welcome but for some reason my brain is kinda scared of that fandom#bcos thres so many minors and puritans LAKAOAKOA)#(bjt i could obv be wrong & also mildly hypocritcal oopsies)#ANYWAYS PLS DO SEND ME ACTIVE BLOGS <333#i am also happy fo follow back obviiuuously if u r active and want to scream abt anything#*bows* thank u so much <333#IVE BEEN RESORTING TO THE FOR YOU TAB#BUT EVERY TIME IVE GONE I THERE IVE BEEN BOMBARDED BY 16 YR OLD BLOGS#AND ITS SO SCARY DCARY#I FEEL LIKE IM GOING THRU GRASS IN POKEMON#SCREAMS
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i have so many feelings and i hate it
#and regrets of any time ive acted up or feel like in hindsight it wasnt cherishing the time i have w them as i shld be and#and things i want to do with them still and ways to love them and be loved and understand their way of loving and#i think we can be so good together and. i miss them. and i hope they miss me.#i really hope theyll miss me soon and want me again and . ik its maybe a little messed up but i want to believe and trust and#its hard and it hurts but. i really feel theres a great connection and if i need to chill out a bit and remember myself more thats fine#and on me for getting so like. moody recently. altho i kinda feel like part of that is med changes but u__u still i need to be able to like#be better and i think they make me better and so happy and. im so comfortable with them and i love them and i wld want to make it work#even if it had to be distance but i dont think i want to just be their friend like maybe but it would hurt a lot bc i love them so much#and i hope they wanna be with me too still and will allow me to romance them yknow flowers and adventures and love and take care and... yea#and maybe some of this was just them going thru a lot rn and im sorry for adding pressure to it and i want to be the comfortable respite an#auurgrgghfhdhdhhfhfdhh i miss them#i just keep thinking abt them like ill have periods of not but then i do again and. idk.#theres also a lot of complicated feelings and thoughts and its like i want to like. idk. know some of their friends n stuff n. :^( idk#i dont feel well from the stress and emotions and ow of it all#i really hope it isnt just a way for them to let me down i really hope they come back eventually like i wanna believe they will but#ourgsghthfhdhfhghghdhdhwkelftk4bfbhwiwjtjejAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#i love them a lot. and need to listen more abt more alone time stuff bc it is good for both of us but not like this u_u#ok sorry for rambling i needed somewhere to write feelings so here we are#i guess part of me is hoping theyre thinking abt me at least a bit and maybe will check this and see it and be like wow i do miss them too#but ik thats silly and eitth3u2ieigjtb4jirifjwji24jgntn aahhhhhhhhhhh. i say a lot of things wrong esp when scared or overly emotional and.#urgevshehrhtjrjeitjtnjeeitjtjwjeiigvjiw9384847rhfbwjoe4j4n4j289djrnrnf#i just really really hope they come back soonish and like want me and are like yes i do want you sorry for that but not a huge sorry bc#like i understand where theyre coming from and. and. yeah. idk. soon doesnt have to be today or tomorrow but maybe a week or 2 idk#i just realy miss them and it hurts and i really dont want them with someone else or to just throw it all away andni want to prove i can#like. idk. love them and be better and more positive i guess we've both been dealing w a lot of stuff and i do need to learn to accept and#more patient w how we communicate differently and we do have to face that but its a difficult topic to confront ig and aurh4hwhshhrlffff#i think they love me i want to trust and i really hope they dont try to make any decisions for me or like based on what they think best 4 m#bc i get to decide that :^(#when i said let down i meant like. leave my life and never talk to me again and stuff.. ;^(. idk how to feel abt some things but. idk. idk.#theres so many feelings and that all is just a pretty vague tip of the iceberg ugh
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im glad that despite being on the backburner for . years. i can still think of my main aus like i never stopped :] kh on the brain forever
#looked thru one of my note for the pmd au and immediately got new ideas for it . i am so fucking back#made me wanna expand whats going on w Terra n Aqua since they dont have much going on besides. well. be legendaries basically#(they take the roles of rescue team Groudon n Kyogre as well as Latios n Latias in psmd. n technically also Entei for Terra in psmd)#that seems like a lot but i know what im doing i swear 👍#maybe i should find a way to include the khdr kids since i havent gotten to that yet.. could be fun#oh ! also been working on ways to connect Terra w Ansem n Xemnas :] probably gonna be more canon-esque than most other things#but it kinda works w the rescue team part of the timeline#and i really need to figure out how exactly to work around Xehanort bc of what he can and does do both in canon and taking his role here..#ironically these things are also backed up by pmd iq groups . now that i think abt it#i also need yo do more work on the psmd part of the timeline since its arguably the most altered part so far#since i dont really cover gates or rescue team anyway . explorers and super just connect a lil too well#i mean tbf gates and super are way too easy to also connect to each other bc like. come on.#but who would be the duo for that .. or maybe it could be earlier in the pmd timeline than it is .. hm.#that Could line up a something else i have planned actually. could be funky. theres two (2) different duos i have in mind#maybe more depending on who else i could slap in here#ok yeah. i have objectively the funniest duo to put in gates. thats happening now <3
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Can you belIEVE ME. ZIM(a trauma holder) would have a fucking trauma response(im a trauma holder)?! UNFATHOMABLE (i carry the majority of the bodily trauma including emotional shit).
#im an idiot#mitten in headspace meeting with my family at the cabin like muttering betweenst each other “im worried about zim”#“i knowww hes been in front for a WHILE this shit doesnt happen”#“its gonna be just like October” “i knowww something must be building” and i enter the apartment from taking the trash out.#so i feel like i have enough privacy to actually enter innerworld and ask hey wtf guys what#and they all look at me like hey buddy. wide eyes. “you okay?” like yeah what the fuck is going on???#and im like last time i fronted this long no one had any issues!! and they just kinda.“you know thats nOt true. there was so many”#and i just silence bc idk what to say bc they're right Nd im like. but im fine? isn't kiba the one???? and they're like yeah but. he direct#ly impacts u and everyone else bc were in 1 body and ur literally a trauma holder n u literally just described being triggered numbly#and im like psshhhhhh *goes and has a full body trauma meltdown shaking and hyperventilating and groaning incoherently bc it hurts and i can#t speak or breathe or think and they have to soothe me thru it* and then go back to what i was doing like huh. huh. hm. im. here for a purpo#im traumatized LMFAO and anyway im using this blog as it's supposed to finally#got a lottt done today im proud but goD my body did Not Like that#zims stink#actually plural#osdd#traumagenic#invader zim#fictive#vent#cptsd#trauma response
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