#my tattoo is really bothering me
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finally at that age where i'm thinking i should get a tattoo. not bc i feel strongly about it, just seems like a waste not to. i've got so much skin i'm not using
#feels so selfish like. all this skin what am i saving it for?#open to design suggestions! (please make me regret this offer)#maybe some deep sea horrors. a pretty watercolor of a gulper eel#once saw a person on the subway with various Skeleton Tattoos on all their limbs#i respected their commitment to the theme#but more than that i respected how all the skeletons were engaged in Activities#dancing in a ballgown. juggling its own (and two other???) skulls. swordfighting. being a mermaid skeleton#ANYWAY. the only reason i haven't already gotten tattoos is i just couldn't be bothered#i'm old enough to know i don't have any strong-but-potentially-temporary feelings driving me towards it#aesthetically i prefer decorated to non-decorated surfaces. but i'm not artistic or thrilled with commitment#honestly it feels like sheer laziness. indecisiveness--nay. immaturity!--that i HAVEN'T gotten a tattoo yet#letting all this blank canvas go to waste. tut tut i need to grow up and be an adult and get a tattoo sleeve already.#really i've put off my responsibilities long enough#(in fairness i DID at one time have 18 different piercings)#(but i took most of them out bc they interfere with wearing headphones and/or shoving my face in my pillow during Sleep Time)#(i only kept the nape piercing bc oddly enough it ended up being the most convenient. and the least painful to get now i think about it.)#(neck piercing? no problem. normal pair of earrings? Tribulations And Suffering. i don't make the rules i just poke them with a stick.)
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How much bodies can change is actually insane 🙈
#I think I’m going to end up having two surgeries honestly#which I don’t love#but I think I want my stomach and my arms done#it would be a mini arm lift tho#bc it’s really just the armpit area that bothers me#my legs are fine tho#me#selfie#snap#girls with tattoos#cute#weightloss#before and after#weight loss#tw#tw diet#tw weight#tw body
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made the gaang with this picrew cause i have too much time on my hands, enjoy
#almost didn't make suki#so disappointed in myself fr#it's like if they were normal teenagers but i gave zuko and aang their scar and tattoo because they looked wrong without them#dimpled aang and suki supremacy#i gave zuko a hearing aid in his scarred ear because he canonically can't hear well out of it#(i'm aware that hearing aid probably can't help with damaged eardrums maybe they can i don't actually know so sorry)#gave sokka glasses cause i'm projecting and i feel like he's strained his eyes so much over the years#freckled aang sokka (on his neck down so you can't really see it) and suki supremacy#gave sokka a bunch of face moles cause i can#gave toph acne cause she's the youngest in my heart (yes i know her and aang are the same age)#i gave the gaang as whole many piercings and i'm not ashamed (aang's the only one without one idk why don't ask)#atla#avatar the last airbender#the gaang#aang#katara#sokka#zuko#toph#suki#also this is how i had to learn that suki is the only one out of the gaang that has like actual lips at all times#(as in her character design)#OH i also gave aang and toph scars (aang = arms toph = face) because it spoke to me and felt right idk#also if you squint you can see blemishes on zuko's neck cause again it just felt right#i'm actually so proud of these AHHHH#team avatar#didn't even mean to make a pattern with the backgrounds just worked out that way heheh#EDIT: remade the boys cause i used the wrong sized clothes and it was bothering me SO MUCH (zuko's hair is longer now let's all cheer)
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a little pain now, to save a great deal more pain later
[flintlock fortress is a collaboration with @dxppercxdxver]
#em draws stuff#flintlock fortress#team fortress 2#blood#today on the em cupola show: wild self-indulgence. but hey I feel Bad so I'll draw what I Like. and today that's medical procedures.#someone leaned over my shoulder while I was drawing this and asked 'is that bloodletting' and they were Almost Right so I'm endlessly proud#in fact it is smallpox inoculation!#sorry to everyone who I have bothered with my Smallpox Talk in recent memory but It Will Happen Again.#the game style itself is kind of rockwell and leyendecker-y to me so I wanted to do something with a similar look to their work#had a lot of goals for this piece and I think I really did achieve all of them quite nicely#could I keep these guys recognizable without showing their full faces? yes I think so!#could I make 'getting a mild case of smallpox with the lads' seem a bit romantic even? yes to that too.#also. scout tattoos make an appearance. (do not go looking for them in any other art of him on account of I Forgor)#and a new look for ansel (this man dresses Boring but that is no fun for me to draw)#'backstory relevant' I say as I do not discuss any of these guys' backstories again.#'that's for us to know and for you to find out' I say while giving you no way at all to find out#have been in a constant state of 'by gosh having a little less blood in me would make this situation better' for several days now#and while I am using Normal methods to improve the situation drawing such things does work a bit to heal the mind#'we're doing just fine' says local guy who is madly drawing the same guys over and over again
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why is my mother completely fine with me getting top surgery but gives me the silent treatment for a week every time she finds out i'm getting another piercing / tattoo
#especially odd when she used to be a goth and she and my dad had loads of piercings#like more than i've ever had at one time#i don't know i think it bothers me a lot when people are weird and annoying about tattoos because like#they're a permanent feature on your body and they're a form of self expression#it's really rude to act like they're gross and ugly when they're not on YOUR body#and also i said i'm getting a tattoo because i'm miserable and i want to feel something and like#knowing i'm getting one is a reason to try and make it through the week#and her immediate response is oh for fuck's sake why are you doing this they're so ugly#ok girl by e
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#tw vent i guess??#came here just to post smth that i'm most probably gonna delete later then leave#but aughhhh last week has been SO bad i really really needed to get it off my chest#had the final boss of a sick victorian child episode for like two weeks AND tons of college stuff to do-#-AND a test on a subject that i'm horrible at (and that i'm gonna fail fs)#AND i was supposed to get a septum which is something that i'd been looking forward to for literal YEARS#but upon telling my parents about it (cause they're kinda strict and ig they would like to know) i changed my mind#cause my mom took it SO personally.... like it was HER face not mine?🤨 but hey!#and although i had the decency to at the very least let her know that i was getting a piercing (which wasn't necessary for me to do but-#-i did it anyway out of consideration for her)#she has the fucking SPINE to tell me how i could do whatever the fuck i wanted if i cared more about getting it than about her opinion-#-but she would always think it was disgusting and that i had no right to get angry at her if she didn't look me in the face or#wanted to walk or be with me cause it'd make her embarrassed to be with me in public if i had that shit on my face.#and it hurts a lot not just bc of the fuckass piercing. but bc my parents (esp my mom) always react like this whenever i make a little-#-change on my appearanceor cut my hair or buy oversized clothes or whateverand like#if she's gonna be soooo hurt when i get a tiny piece of metal on my face. how is she gonna react when i tell her i want to get tattoos.#start taking hormones. change my name. get top and bottom surgery. be completely changed physically.#is she gonna die is the world gonna end. is she just going to stop talking to me forever.#because a piercing is not just a decoration. to me right now it's an extension of the changes i want to undergo on my body.#it's a step forward to looking the way i want too look#so a rejection to any change i do on my body feels like an indirect rejection to be being trans. and the fact that they're unaware of#just how deep their rejection cuts (bc i'm not out) makes me even angrier at them.#and upon the realization that if i ever came out to my mom (and the rest of my family too tbh) she would react *exactly* like this.#well. i did not take that very well.#wasn't very demure of her to say all that. not very mindful not very cutesy :/#also been sh-ing more bc if this and ughhh what a shit week. hope this one's better#also. i decided i'm still gonna get a septum this year. don't know when but fuck all that. it's gonna bother them all the same#no matter what time of the year i get it done. or if i do it in a year or two or five. so who gives a shit.#anyway. gonna delete later probably#📎
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It’s pumpkin spice season which means it’s also bath season
Time for me to thrive
#aesthetic#mine#bathtime#tattoos#tattoed girls#snake tattoo#black and gray tattoo#band tattoo#of mice & men#I really gotta finish this leg up#the knee bothers me#also I learned I can white balance against my own skin so that was fun#I’m so pale#it’s not even funny
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I've had my conch piercing for almost 6 months and it's healing really well I think (or at least I'm not having any issues with it at all anymore). so I'm now thinking what piercing(s) I want to get next. even though I had already decided the healing process is too annoying and I should wait a couple years.... kinda want to get my nose pierced now (worst idea ever)
#... because even though I've done immunotherapy for my dust allergy it does still bother me sometimes#and I feel like that would be annoying as hell#plus I get nosebleeds way more than normal. I don't think that would be fun.....#so yeah bad idea. I'm probably gonna ask my piercer at my next appointment. hopefully she'll talk me out of it#my nose is also just really weird so do I really want to draw attention to that?! lol.#I'm hoping we'll be able to put a shorter bar in my conch piercing at this appointment. at the previous two there was still a bump so she#wanted to wait. and then I was sick last time and had to cancel#so yeah idk#I wish I didn't like piercings#they're so pretty and cool. I want so many! but I hate having unhealed ones.#I hate needles and pain and having things stuck in my skin. so it's just...... dumb#if my social anxiety wasn't still an issue I'd probably focus on tattoos... but that is so much harder than just saying 'hi I want this#piercing' 😭#personal
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Mommy issues this daddy issues that, where my homies with older sibling issues at?
#just saw my sister is at a concert with our aunt#no one invited me#or hell even told me about it#i would've wanted to go#but realistically i guess it wouldn't because in reality we dont have anything in common anyways and they probably just went to drink#and be fucking idiots#but its just the premise i guess#not to mention she'd rather go out with our aunt... the one who knowingly brought a predator into my sisters home#WHO SEXUALLY ASSAULTED HER DAUGHTER (my niece) IN HER OWN HOME#like... shed rather go out and hang out with HER... over me?#i really am that unlovable huh#and then she has her husbands sisters#shes closer to them than she ever has been or will be with me#has a matching tattoo with the one closest to my age#goes and gets pedicures with the one that has the same name as me#and shes not even her husband's family shes his brothers wife#i love to pretend like it doesn't bother me#but it fucking hurts my heart#my heart fucking hurts typing this#like a physical ache#hated me my whole life for just existing and nothing has changed#my post#personal#sister#family
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wait actually um. tattooed dick. sorry i’ll leave
this made me laugh so hard i didn’t even make any noises 😭😭 just gasping oh my god. but yeah. the idea of big scars doesn’t bother me for any part of my body (<- i am fond of literally all of my scars) and a scar distorting or breaking up my tattoo is fine, but for some reason i don’t want a tattooed dick unless it’s for like, shading and colouring etc
#it might be because my tattoo is flowers though also and i would want different flowers if they really had to be there#alsoooo you having questions and talking about it doesn’t bother me (i wouldn’t respond or i’d let you know if i was uncomfortable) but let#me know if i’m being too candid <3#tw emoji
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freak (affectionate)
#i just like looking at it#pretty face pretty face#love how spiky tieflings are in this game#got a very slight tattoo mod just to get rid of the forehead flame#it also moved the bottom part down a touch which is whatever#i wasn't bothered by it being on the lip but it doesn't bother me either way i just wanted the flame gone#if i really cared i would learn how to extract these fools into blender#and i would give it body tats#but i'm.................lazy#i watched a video about how to do it and i went 'wow that's way too much work'#i know there's body tat mods but none exactly what i want and also installing unique tav seems like a process#i shall use my imagination#fel's bg3#oc: canto
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the more i look at my own art the less i like it lmao
#idk why in my last post i just forgot to draw aces tattoo#it really bothers me#and the anatomy kind of sucks#its too late to go back and fix now ig#it was my first time drawing him thoguh so whatever...
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I get paid to spend most of my evenings with one of my coworkers constantly taking the piss out of me but also featuring a hype song they came up with completely on the fly and apparently I still don't know how to feel about this weirdo /pos
#“you spelled them wrong” bc my nametag#“what was that?” w suspicious eyes bc i was talking to a lady and she said nice to meet you & took the time to read my name off my nametag#*aggressively repeating my full name to me like it's a football chant if i enter their peripheral vision and they have the opportunity to*#“word on the street is you listen to boygenius” bc i mentioned it to a mutual friend when we went out on time#(i then absolutely got “oh of course she's your favourite” bc i decided julien baker was the prettiest bc tattoos but lucy dacus solo is a+)#i once told them that the most colour in my wardrobe is from plaid shirts and got a sarcastic “oh of course it is”#there's probably more but i cant be bothered to name them especially#as i said totally get the piss ripped out of me when we're on shift together but i wouldn't change it for the world bc i do love it really.
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I’m really in my early 20s era like Im kind of doing all the things that ppl in their early 20s actually do that i havent been doing this entire time
#ok not ALL the things but some of them#Im kind of excited to live in a roommate situation like i was really scared at first#and thought it would probably be really hard for me and maybe it will be I dont know yet#but forsome reason i feel like itll be at LEAST ok and maybe even really good for me#Like mentally#It's also just a huge stroke of luck and generosity and convenience that it even has worked out the way it has#Tbh i cant be bothered writing out all the details but trust me#and then when i get back from this TRIP#to TEXAS where we are going to THREE concerts and i MIGHT get a tattoo#and we are sleeping in the CAR basically the whole time#(very early 20s type vibe to me)#im going to learn to drive which will open a whole new world basically I think#after i get a car#which I dont think will be very difficult#like financially#for me#AND i finally have my kitty. my own meow... so it's all very cohesive
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idk what it says about me when my first response to someone hurting me is immediate apathy but. it is what it is
#i have been nagging my friends both irl and in our gc#to let me know if theyre coming to the tattoo convention tomorrow#they ALL know how badly i wanted to go since this is the first year ill be able to#and only two people replied yes or no in our gc#the rest didnt even bother and i brought it up so manh fucking times#then yesterday was the bday of one of those friends#found it odd he never said anything about a bday party but maybe he wasnt up#for it so nbd!#my other friend texts me just now#to INVITE me to his party thats in a few hours bc! he forgot to invite me!#he remembered to invite EVERYONE else in our gc including random other people#but forgot me :) who he says is 'a good friend' and keeps asking me for medical advice and favors#i told my friend i cant make it and she said 'hes sad about that'#i replied i dont care lol#but not in a 'im mad but petty' kinda way i just. really dont care rn#i do a little since im posting this obviouslg#but also this just made me. lose any care i had for this person?#i know i can become very cold and mean if im hurt#and right now i feel. nothing towards this guy whose supposed to be my friend#this became my defense mechanism the past year when im hurt#i just stop caring and idk if its the medical field#that changed me into this but. idc ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#delete later#just had to vent for a sec bc i dont wanna tell my friend all of this#the last thing i wanna do is put a common friend in the middle of all of this#ah well
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#it really makes me sad that#a lot of the stereotypical expressions of queerness or gender non-conformance e.g. makeup tattoos and piercings#all involve doing things to my body that i am physically uncomfortable with#i'm so bothered by needles that even thinking about the process of getting a tattoo makes me queasy#and i once got so overwhelmed by the sensation of putting on stage makeup that i nearly fainted in the dressing room#i want to try makeup some day but can't get over my negative experiences#personal ramblings
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