#like a physical ache
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Mommy issues this daddy issues that, where my homies with older sibling issues at?
#just saw my sister is at a concert with our aunt#no one invited me#or hell even told me about it#i would've wanted to go#but realistically i guess it wouldn't because in reality we dont have anything in common anyways and they probably just went to drink#and be fucking idiots#but its just the premise i guess#not to mention she'd rather go out with our aunt... the one who knowingly brought a predator into my sisters home#WHO SEXUALLY ASSAULTED HER DAUGHTER (my niece) IN HER OWN HOME#like... shed rather go out and hang out with HER... over me?#i really am that unlovable huh#and then she has her husbands sisters#shes closer to them than she ever has been or will be with me#has a matching tattoo with the one closest to my age#goes and gets pedicures with the one that has the same name as me#and shes not even her husband's family shes his brothers wife#i love to pretend like it doesn't bother me#but it fucking hurts my heart#my heart fucking hurts typing this#like a physical ache#hated me my whole life for just existing and nothing has changed#my post#personal#sister#family
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Nothing beats that feeling when you're reminded of something you thought you got over -maybe even years later- and you get that ache.
Reminds me I'm not a sociopath.
#like a physical ache#ah look#its still there#it never really goes away#might not think about it now for another ten years#but when i do#the ache will still be there
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just kinda a thing i wanted to say since ik i have younger artists following me (its applicable to everyone really, but very important to form care habits as early as possible) i read about others artists experiencing pain from overworking and i always thought to myself, i wouldnt let that happen to me, im real young, i still have time before i have to worry about really damaging my body
but your body really doesnt care, if you push yourself, if you ignore the pain, its going to fuck you up. maybe for the rest of your life please god take care of yourself when you draw, write, game, literally anything. stretch your wrists, fingers, dont keep your elbow in a locked a position for too long, especially dont lean on your elbows. get up around every 45 minutes, drink water, eat food, use the bathroom, stretch your whole body and your hands again. walk outside and let your eyes readjust your body is trying to communicate with you for a reason when you start hurting, please listen to it, be kind to yourself, you deserve it
#source firsthand as im the idiot who drew for like 6 hours straight#like actually non fucking stop for even a second#until the pain got so bad my hand felt like it was fucking scalding#and i kept going anyway until i physically could not put any more lines down on the page#almost everyday since then my arm and hand has ached and felt weird and i literally cant do anything i used to before i did this to myself#i cant play games i cant write#i cant even use my mouse with my right hand for casual scrolling#please take care of yourselves
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I remember after Lord of Shadows someone made a countdown account for QOAAD and the wait was agonisingly long.
Silly. I was so young and naive. No real or deep understanding of the word "patience."
#TLKOF will come out 8 years+ after QOAAD and 10 years after Lady Midnight#it will be worth it though#i just need the book on a physical and psychological level rn? every cell in my body is aching for the missing puzzle pieces to be revealed#like i'm so invested in these characters lives and in the politics i need to know how it ends!!#the last king of faerie#the wicked powers#ty blackthorn#kit herondale#dru blackthorn#ash morgenstern#the shadowhunter chronicles#the dark artifices
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dandelion’s incredible reluctance, and near-fright, to mention kaer morhen by name is somewhat endearing to me. we as the fandom throw around the name so easily, and it’s also home for geralt and ciri, so its name doesn’t carry so much weight.
but in dandelion’s case, it makes sense to fear mentioning it, for it was the site of the massacre… best to not let anyone hear its name… it’s kind of nice to think that dandelion has a degree of self-awareness, when something is as important as this
and also, some part of me just thinks that dandelion with his vivid imagination listened to geralt offhandedly talk about his childhood here or there, and… whatever were mundane facts or sepia-tinted friendly memories for geralt, made dandelion’s expression drop and his innards twist. so he conceives of kaer morhen not just as “the witcher’s keep in the mountains of kaedwen” but “that place where my best friend endured child abuse for eighteen years”
#like… i imagine dandelion has a dysfunctional family relationship too to put it lightly#but as far as the subjected mutations and trials and intense physical training#idk why i think i’m just projecting but#listening to your friend talk about his abusive childhood like ‘oh yeah and then we fell asleep to the ache of our muscles [nostalgic sigh]’#the pain of loving your friend a lot and realizing just how much hell they’ve been through#geralt recalling some memories to dandelion and then all of a sudden#‘dandelion? what’s the matter with you? hell you look as though you’re about to be sick’#dandelion like… 😨#dandelion wanting badly to take on geralt’s pain ✌️ well we got there by time of contempt and baptism of fire#this was brought up for me again when preston holt and geralt were talking in crossroads of ravens#where holt is like: ‘i bet your earliest memory is…’ and geralt is like ‘there was this boy…’ and holt is like ‘yeup’#and though they acknowledge it’s fucked up neither of them are as horrified as they probably should be 💀 because it’s known and familiar#this is also why dandelion is horrified by his suicidal inclinations#yennefer shares them so she is more like ‘ok well don’t do it on the carpet’#this is ciri aka chickened out of suicide attempt and her two parents aka failed suicide attempt and daily suicidal ideations#now i’m not saying dandelion would never kill himself but i mean not during the saga. after half a century is published he could do whatever#the elbow-high diaries#i think the whole ‘recluse from society in an isolated monastery’ thing is already abuse in dandelion’s eyes#the fact that the food is plain = abuse to dandelion lbr
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My favorite head-canon, is that Merlin spends so much time healing and taking care of Arthur, that he forgets to do it for himself.
Arthur, a seasoned warrior, somehow has very few scars on his body. A few scuff marks on his knees and a few marks on the side of his neck, maybe a few knife nicks along his arms from training. But other than that, nothing. It's almost inhuman how this knight who lives on the battlefield has such a lack of scars.
Merlin, on the other hand, is covered in them. Burn marks covering the tips of his fingers, deep jagged cuts that dug into his back and arms. Scraps and cuts cover his legs and arms, and a small patch of discoloration on his forehead that never quite heald right. He goes to great lengths to keep these hidden. It wouldn't make sense for a meek servant to have so many brutal scars. He covers his body even during the hot months with long sleeve shirts and thick scarves so no one will ask any questions.
The reason behind this is that Merlin will always meticulously heal any injuries Arthur faces. Always being thorough so they won't scar over. He knows the way scars ache during the cold or thunderstorms, the way the pain seems to seep into your bones. He doesn't want Arthur to suffer through that. But when he gets injured, he does just enough to stop the bleeding. He lives with a physician. Why would he do more than that? He'll get them looked at eventually... (he never does).
Point is, Merlin does the bare minimum to keep himself alive while he goes the extra mile for Arthur to keep him comfortable.
#this was promted by an old scar of mine aching during a thunderstorm#so ofc i need to project my pain onto merlin cuz why not#amyway merlin struggkes to move around when its stormy or cold#without being in immense pain#both mental and physical#arthur makes a light hearted quip about merlin getting slow in the winter#and merlin chuckles and retorts with a joke about the winter hurts his scars#and arthur is like *insert concerned himbo noises here*#bbc merlin#merthur#merlin headcanons
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I think I finally know why this shot was a religious awakening for me
more in tags because you fuckers seem to enjoy that
#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool 3#deadpool 2024#logan howlett#wade wilson#wolverine#deadpool#hugh jackman#ryan reynolds#*inhales* god adhd brain don't fail me now#IT'S A POWER PLAY.#wade is physically tired at this point#his emotions are running high and he's tired and aching and bleeding all over#same as logan#and yet somewhere through all that spandex and all that cancer and all that fourth wall breaking he decides#“Oh I'm not coming to you motherfucker. I decide the pace of this. You come to me.”#and he could have#i'm choking#he could have used his left hand the one on the other car seat to go “come get it”#it still would have been hot#me personally it's so much fucking hotter that he used the same hand holding his knife#which looks like is that a survival knife?#as if we need any more nails in the coffin of the fact that logan is a wild partner to have#and wade absolutely THRIVES with him#it's so much hotter that wade used his right hand holding the knife to dare // DARE // logan to attack him#practically saying “Bite the bait you son of a bitch. I'm ready to cut you when you're in range.”#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#is it weird if i say i want to scream into the void because they have an actual void in this movie#fuck lmao
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I know it’s 3 am and this is my own fault but feeling so sick over pony and johnny right now oh my god how do I even deal with this they meant so much to each other they would literally kill for each other I actually can’t handle it thinking about them on the train to Windrixville wondering if they’re all they’ll ever have ever again. Johnny letting Pony sleep in his lap even though it made his legs fall asleep because he knew he needed it. Thinking about how they always dreamed and planned of running away together and having their own little place in the country and being their own family but then actually being forced into that in the most horrific way possible, and in the most twisted way, only having each other like they always wished for. I’m actually so ill about them they deserved so much better they need a happy ending where they live in a little cottage with their fire and featherbed and easy garden with the homegrown plant on the windowsill. Where Johnny gets to grow up and Pony gets to have his best friend always by his side and they get to discover themselves together and have the chance to live and do everything they always wanted. Where Pony gets out and Johnny can follow him and everything just finally for once in their lives okay they deserve that at the very least
#the outsiders#johnny cade#ponyboy curtis#pb&j#read this as romantic and platonic and qpr#it’s all of them#dude I’m actually so ill about them I feel like I’m gonna throw up#there’s a genuine aching in my chest#sorry if this is incomprehensible#or too comprehensible#it’s 3 am and I physically cant move my body so I’ve been thinking#too many big emotions tonight I cannot possibly express them all
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“Is this how you we are supposed to be living?”
(insp.)
#kinnporsche#vegaspete#vegas kornwit theerapanyakul#pete phongsakorn saengtham#gifset#*brace's#dailyvegaspete#//#I considered many characters and ideas when I got the theme Restraint/Freedom out of my last poll#there was a lot that could be done focusing on self-restraint but I also wanted to work with physical restraint (e.g. handcuffs)#so naturally it got me thinking about the safehouse#but thinking about the safehouse I remembered that Vegas was also trapped in there with Pete#he was born in the prison that was his family and in addition to that his father had him in a chokehold#a grip that Pete relieved a bit when it was just the two of them#with him it wasn't as bad as before#so if he could decide on the matter certainly Vegas would have preferred to keep Pete#but the night the hedgehog died he didn't immediately put Pete back in chains once he got free#he might even have left the key for him to free himself on purpose#he gave Pete every chance to escape the house. to escape him.#to leave like everyone else and save himself from ending like that poor hedgie#dead on Vegas' arms (hands) while he cried helplessly. because that's what happens every time and he can't escape the cycle once it begins.#he keeps trying only to fail again and again. he can't escape himself.#but Pete could. Pete could have run away and never looked back.#and Vegas would have let him. he would have understood.#he would have done the same. he would have run away and escaped it all if he could.#he too ached to be free
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I’m just gonna come out and say it… Byler’s best scene has gotta be the rain fight. It just is. It’s arguably Finn and Noah’s best performance for their characters’ dynamic. It has everything. Repression. Instant regret. Groveling. Heartbreak. Devastation.
Me, rewatching the rain fight to feel something that is akin to every single feeling one experiences after watching a masterful feature length romance, only in this case it’s all happening in one single scene:
#byler#rain fight#1:30 am thoughts#i honestly can’t rewatch it without my heart physically aching#no but seriously when Will says#FINE YOU GUYS WIN! CONGRATULATIONS#and Mike’s just like 😳😨😰🥺#😧 will I was just messing around 😨#AND THEN THE ABSOLUTE SILENCE THAT FOLLOWS#then followed by Mike walking around trying to convince Will to keep playing#but then suddenly Will’s yelling and suddenly mike looks terrified#then Will is walking out and it’s just literally instant for him to follow without a second thought#will come on. you can’t leave it’s raining#AND THE SILENCE AGAIN#like the angst is so through the charts I can’t take it!#and the fact that it ends with Mike looking arguably more heartbroken than Will…#with him chasing after him AGAIN#the same episode max is insisting Mike is gonna crawl back#all while he’s doing the exact opposite by prioritizing his falling out with Will instead#never gonna get over it
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post more yuri . my final messGe goodbye
#vixen rambles#joke post . but guys im rlly fucking sick#thinking of asking some1 to drive me 2 urgent care when the sun’s up . but also that’d cost a shit ton .#and i am not in the physical state to think like luigi (nintendo obv)#nothing dire just . painful and have not truly slept yet 2nite 🤞🤞#my body n head n sinuses ache too bad n i’m shivering too much. but also my fever is thru out my entire body and reflection that heat back#really weird effect
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at this point i have to assume the ongoing chest pain is from living in this fucking house
#no apparent heart problem. if its somehow a muscle ache that has persisted >6 months#then its also managed to Not be from noticeable muscle damage while still lasting that long#and if its not the stress from being here then idk. cancer does show up in the family 💀#if it is just a muscle ache then i would like it to be over#but my god man. im gonna lose it#the problem with living in ur parents house is that they will make fuck ass decisions abt it#and u cant do anything Esp if ur freeloading lmao#maybe im just prone to stressing myself out like a fucking tarsir#*tarsier. but like goddddd#tfw theres a million unfinished and contributing things to a possible infestation#like. tell me why the bathtub has been unusable for probably a year now#and also theres a HUGE HOLE IN THE WALL WHERE THE EXHAUST GOES THRU!!!!!!#that they probably knew about but apparently didnt think was a concern#and when approached about 'hey i dont think (liquid) fumigation is gonna last if u dont fix this'#the response is 'thats why u fumigate every like 6 months'#NO??? FIX THIS FUCKING HOUSE?#AND THEN LIQUID FUMIGATION TOO???? AURGHHHHHHHH#anyways also have to assume its not like. actual physical environment problem#spent two weeks out of house and it persisted. but i suppose if its bad enough#it would do that...?? but then why is no one else in the house suffering -_-#either its extremely localised to my room or its straight up not that#dad keeps insisting its long covid. near as i can tell ive never caught covid#while its possible it was low/no symptom im relying on the fact that no one else got sick in the house#and when people get sick in the house i do test also. and its always negative. but who knows
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We were talking a few days ago about dream presenting the comunist manifesto in a random kick stream. And now it seems george decided to take it into action with a gun like a truly american/jjjjjj
Comrade Dteam let's fucking goooooo
We have Dream "No company wins on morality" and "UBI should be a thing because everyone should be able to follow their dreams", George "Kill the rich, literally" and Sapnap "Be gay, join a mafia"
#the voices#Sapnap is here to represent all the bitches like me who get physically sick if they try to follow politics and also want 10 boyfriends#he gets me and my tummy aches#Get Dteam elected they have UBI health care and polyamory
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i thought licking potentially dangerous things was a ten thing but the first doctor just put sweets from the fucking toymaker's world into his fucking mouth they really have always been that stupid
#also funny how it cut away from him collapsing and the title of the next episode appears on the screen “holiday for the doctor”#like “this man is clearly mentally slow and physically unwell. let's get him some sleep”#doctor who#classic who#first doctor#the celestial toymaker#also funny how it doesnt have any consequences besides him getting a tooth ache
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Happy winter every joint in my body hates me
#like I’m sorry my wrist should not be hurting because I held it at a slightly weird angle while holding something#like my back should not be aching this often when I barely do any physical activity#madurday night live
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I no longer have boobs! I am a boobless being! I've become one of those ✨self mutilated women✨ the t//erfs warn u abt! I am the trans agenda!
#I keep talking abt this but I am genuinely so happy abt it lmao#like I'm miserable on a physical level rn bc everything itches and aches and I'm nauseous despite zofran#I cannot shower until like saturday and I have to sleep sitting up#BUT GUESS WHAT I DONT HAVE? BOOBS.
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