#almost everyday since then my arm and hand has ached and felt weird and i literally cant do anything i used to before i did this to myself

[kingprinceleo]

just kinda a thing i wanted to say since ik i have younger artists following me (its applicable to everyone really, but very important to form care habits as early as possible) i read about others artists experiencing pain from overworking and i always thought to myself, i wouldnt let that happen to me, im real young, i still have time before i have to worry about really damaging my body

but your body really doesnt care, if you push yourself, if you ignore the pain, its going to fuck you up. maybe for the rest of your life please god take care of yourself when you draw, write, game, literally anything. stretch your wrists, fingers, dont keep your elbow in a locked a position for too long, especially dont lean on your elbows. get up around every 45 minutes, drink water, eat food, use the bathroom, stretch your whole body and your hands again. walk outside and let your eyes readjust your body is trying to communicate with you for a reason when you start hurting, please listen to it, be kind to yourself, you deserve it

[romanscool]

Hey I love ur stories so I was wondering if u could give me recommendations for the best AO3 MAXIEL stories you've read if u don't mind, thnx 💜💜

hi anon! thank you so much for this ask!! I always love recommending maxiel stories,,,

i have way too much, but I've tried to skim through them and pull out the ones I could read over and over again without ever being bored of it. so anyways, here you go, my fav 13 maxiel fics in no particular order:

I know your name (but not who you are) by @prongsofficial (rated G)

“Hi, Daniel,” the man at his door says, tentative with a sideways smile. There’s sweat on his hairline and two cage-like boxes in his hands. He hears a meowing come out of them when he shifts to set them down. “Max,” Daniel breathes out, floored and caught in the way Max rubs at his own arm awkwardly. Max just smiles. -- Based on the Stick Season (Forever) album by Noah Kahan

a hauntingly beautiful nine-chapter non-linear fic about what could've happened if Daniel had to retire after his hand injury in Zandvoort 2023. Gorgeous. Just the right amount of angst, fluff and crushing dialogues.

dead heat by @powerful-owl (rated E)

"Oh my god. Okay, you’re an alpha. Yeah, Max? You’re an alpha?” Max looks up, tongue lapping at the webbing between Daniel’s fingers. He waits for his thoughts to print into words: paper roll unfurling, sticky nozzles stamping please, need, yours. He just nods. “You’re an alpha.” Daniel laughs, reedy and weird. “Max, what the fuck. Why are you on your knees?”

I'm not usually into a/b/o fics but this one. this hit and still hits me everyday. I have read it almost three times now (keep in mind this is a 35-chapters/200k words fic) and I can't believe how well written it is. the smut is beautiful, angsty and punch-to-the-gut. worth every seconds spent reading it. I also really liked the fact that this is not your traditional a/b/o dynamics, with the little weak omega getting roughly fucked by perma-rut alpha. nope. it's so much more.

breaking every rule for you by @magicalrocketships (rated E)

Daniel's always been competitive. He's never backed down from a challenge, even if it's one he doesn't understand the rules of and doesn't remember signing up for. But he knows this: if Max sends him a dick pic, then Daniel sends one back. Or, it’s Daniel's first year at Renault, and Max hasn't spoken to him in months.

soul-cushing, kink-finding, whatever the fuck even fic. no words to describe this one I think. it's messed my brain up. anyway. 200k words of max and Daniel being idiots, max with a girlfriend he doesn't love and Daniel not accepting he's in love with max. all that while sending dick pics everyday. hot. beautiful. made me cry and bite into my own arm because of how I wish I could just grip both their heads and smash them like barbies so they can kiss.

that's where I am by @flawlessassholes (rated E)

“Her name is Emily,” Daniel says softly. Max’s eyes snap down to the baby, still sleeping on Daniel’s chest. It’s—she’s snoring a little. In that snuffly way that babies snore. “Short for Emilian.” His eyes snap back to Daniel’s face, so serious, and Max knows it’s a joke, of course, but he still opens his mouth to say— Then Daniel’s face breaks into that wide grin, the real one, the one Max hasn’t seen since. Well. In a while. It feels at once so familiar, and also like seeing something rise from the dead.

There’s a month between Melbourne and Baku. A month to convince Daniel to return to racing. A month to learn and relearn how to love. A month for everything to feel right amidst a season that has felt nothing but wrong. A month to create a family, and a month to maybe lose it all.

daniel has a baby and max learns how to deal with that. all that while Emily (dan's kid) is the cutest baby ever. made my heart ache in the best way, had me having a baby-fever for 8 chapters. the smut is gorgeous, the story had me weeping and I could not believe how someone could even come up with such a well-rounded idea. gorgeous.

haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds? by vivienne_xoxo (rated E)

Daniel is on the verge of quite possibly nothing in his last year of high school. Max is on the verge of everything in his sophomore year. The one thing that connects them is soccer, squash, and track and field. Being at different schools, they only see each other once per season for games. However, they find themselves meeting in the spaces between, unknowing of what it all really meant. As Daniel nears graduation with a GPA of a whopping 2.0, a sexuality crisis, and a blonde twisted in his bedsheets and his brain, the one thing he really knows is that he's so, so fucked. OR: A sports rivals with benefits, strangers to lovers Maxiel fic that no one really wanted. Literally just the school I go to right now but with changed names.

everything a teen!maxiel fic could ever want to be. teens in love, max and Daniel going through everything that comes with that. sexuality crises all over the place, hormones, too. love it. this is the fic that made me want to start my own teen!maxiel. it's funny, angsty, has way too many crack-worthy dialogue. I love it.

a sure thing by @thewindowatkirkland (rated E)

Afterwards, once they’ve headed back inside on unsteady legs and showered in Max’s insane ensuite, Daniel pulls on his clothes and watches Max do the same. He’s always quieter after sex, once the adrenaline and dopamine have receded some. Daniel gets it, the whole hooker thing is more awkward for most people once the fucking is actually over. “How much do you charge for a full night?” Max asks, after he transfers the fee for today, the little notification pinging on Daniel’s phone. M. E. Verstappen has sent you a payment. Daniel doesn't bother to check the amount, Max will have rounded it up to the nearest thousand anyway, just like he always does. OR: daniel is an escort, max is a five time world champion, and also one of his regular clients. (aka, the hooker!dan au)

gorgeous. no words. 30k of hooker!Daniel that had me going a little crazy. so many good smut scenes, so many insane dialogues, so many insane angsty moments that aren't angst but feel like it... love love love it. I've read it a couple times already and it always has me on the floor. beautiful and breathtakingly so.

growing sideways by @thewindowatkirkland (rated E)

“We’re in Monaco,” Max says, “and you haven’t lived in either of those places for a very long time, Daniel. Since 2013.” It must be fucking amnesia, Daniel reasons, because when he went to bed last night it was July 2012. And here a grown up Max Verstappen is, telling him 2013 was a very long time ago. OR: daniel wakes up in a bed he doesn’t recognise, next to a man he doesn’t know.

what if Daniel woke up as his 2012 self with braces and awkward limbs but he's in his 2024 self bed, next to his 2024 self boyfriend (max) and he can't understand how any of this is happening? that's it. that's the plot. loved the little references, the race watching, the max trying to make Daniel learn everything they've had since 2012. the virgin smut. hot. but. everything about this fic is so, so sweet. it's gentle. like a hug after a long day, it takes you in and you never want to let go, especially because it has Daniel's fucked up teeth/braces in it. (joking but you know how I am with teeth, right?)

(just let me) adore you by @sillystappen (rated G)

One night, Max confronts the monster under his daughter's bed. Turns out, that monster is a very kind mothman called Daniel.

adorable. mothman!daniel (beautiful, beautiful, woah) takes car of max's daughter because other monsters might want to hurt her. so, so sweet. max is gentle but obsessed, and who can blame him even, Daniel is gentle, gentle, gentle, and caring, and so. argh. sorry. I'm obsessed with the fluff, the daughter, the developing bond between max and moth!Daniel. short and so cute.

auditory stimulator by togenkyo (rated E)

There are no rules for falling in love. It can happen to anyone, anytime, anywhere. Max may not be well experienced in love, but he's pretty sure that "Falling in love with a guy you met when you accidentally picked up the phone at a sex hotline." should be a rule.

so funny. had me giggling in a public space over silly roommates trying to get max laid/in a couple. so fun and quirky, really had pulled in from seeing 'Phone Sex Operators' in the tags. I'm glad I read this. great dialogue, story and characters.

hey, remember that time by @powerful-owl (rated E)

There’s a snowstorm outside and a snowstorm in Max’s head. “Yes, okay. What.” “I think I’m gay? Pretty sure. Or like. Hella bi. Cause I think I’d still – if you were a – sorry. My body likes you, Max.” — (Max owns an inn and Daniel has amnesia.)

so funny... love, love, love. I always love those kind of stories, the AU with amnesia and all, but this one is genuinely the best I've ever read. I love all of @powerful-owl 's fics, but this one. it has me in a chokehold. read it again during the holidays for the snowy/angsty/smutty vibes and the scenes always have me giggling or crying. sometimes both at the same time. can't believe she has the power to write such good scenes like the bathroom one. description is just gorgeous, smut is always really good and goofy and. yeah. love it. can't say I've ever been let down by one of her works.

new wave (new emotions) by nothoughtsjustvibes (Kitkatieb) (rated G)

In which Max realizes he’s in love with Daniel and flies to Colorado to make it Lewis’s problem. Lewis just wants him to leave – preferably on a plane to Australia.

so so fun. lewis' POV, which is always really fun to read, especially since it's maxiel. just. lewis objective on the whole 'yes max, Daniel is in love with you, too' situation without actually saying it out loud. cause max has to figure it out for himself. really, really cool and original. loved reading.

two's company, three's a crowd by Whippasnappa (rated E)

“I need to be good at these things so it does not matter when. When they see.” Max says. He's- Daniel's chest feels like its caved in. Max looks so fucking ashamed, and his eyes are wet, lashes fluttering like he’s trying to blink away tears. “See what? Max?” He can’t- there’s nothing about Max that Daniel could imagine would be so off-putting that someone wouldn’t want him. Clearly there’s more to it, then, the reason why Max hasn’t hooked up before. “It is small.” Max says.

whippasnappa is a genius on this one. small dick!max is alway shy fav max but this one,,, gorgeous. breathtaking. couldn't stop staring at y screen even if I died. could've died actually. had me having three heart attacks. have never come back from this one. arghhhh

we predict blue skies and tight pants by dontburnme

The sight just made him dizzy. The hottest man he’s ever fucking seen flipping off a cliff into the murky Oslo waters twenty seven meters high up. Or, Daniel’s a Red Bull high diver and Max experiences an out of body experience watching him.

in which, Daniel is a diver and max watches him dive. and dies, a little. it's crazy, crazy good. had me a little crazy, pulling my hair out by the end of it. I, too, had an out of body experience. crazy, crazy, crazy, and such a fun concept. alway love me some short and sweet AU-fics.

bonus!!: high and dry by @jermeows

real cowboys ride cock, y'know right?

technically not a fic but. it's such wonderful fanart I HAD to include it. maxiel cowboys; what more is there to say...

[sukunastoy]

Only Love Can Hurt Like This, Chapter 1, Part 2 (CEO! Sukuna x Fem! Reader, MDNI)

Continuation of Part 1 of Chapter 1 Here

⬇️PLEASE READ BEFORE STARTING THE STORY! ⬇️

Modern age AU, no curses. Sukuna still has his tattoos, but his face ones are carefully hidden. This story is set in Japan, and I've done my best to implement real life into it. For example, tattoos in Japan are still taboo, and people associate them with the yakuza, so its not normal to see everyday people have them. Though I know I won't have all the details of modern day life in Japan correct, I hope you still enjoy.

Pairings: CEO Sukuna x Fem Reader Content/Trigger warnings: In full on the Prologue chapter Wordcount: 4.1k+

This chapter is a backstory of how Toji and Reader met. Since Toji is not necessarily a main character in this story, I don't want to focus on a lot of detail for this backstory. But it needs to be told.

Toji and Reader are in high school, Toji is a senior, and reader is a freshman. Though I don't specifically put anything into detail, since everyone is a minor, you get the basic idea. Toji is not a good guy.

Since this is part of a backstory, Sukuna isn't mentioned or appears in this chapter at all.

Trigger/Content Warning, please read!:

⭐This chapter specifically mentions drugging, underage sex, underage drinking, rape without knowledge, filmed during sex without consent, morning after pills/abortion drugs, and manipulation.⭐

Trigger/Content Warning, please read!:

⭐This chapter specifically mentions drugging, underage sex, underage drinking, rape without knowledge, filmed during sex without consent, morning after pills/abortion drugs, and manipulation.⭐

"And one more picture of that pretty, ruined pussy. You'll probably make me a decent amount of money." Toji smirked while snapping the seventh or eighth photo on his phone. -"Hey, check this one out. Ruined her spoiled little virgin cunt."- -"Damn, you sure know how to pick the best ones."- -"Doesn't take much. Make them feel special and they'll drop that guard of theirs."- -"Well, drugging them also helps." -"I thought she was gonna just let me, but she wanted to wait for the right moment I guess."- -"It's so lame. I dunno why bitches need sex to be anything more than just sex."- -"Oh well. She's just a dumb, used whore now. When she finally lets me fuck her, I'll let her pretend its her first time."- -"Do your thing man, and let me know the next time you get her drugged up, I want a piece of that. Its so much easier when they're unconscious and not crying or squirming."- -"Just drop that money into my hand and you can fuck her whenever."-

Saturday, 4:37 AM

Everything ached. And your head was absolutely throbbing. A dazed whimper fell from your lips as you struggled to open your eyes. Your eye lids were almost unbearably heavy, as if they were being held shut. Sitting up, you weakly reached an arm to your head, trying to rub your eyes so you could wake up. Everything hurt so incredibly bad, like, bad... A bit of dread filled your mind as you looked around your bedroom. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, yet everything felt off. Your phone was nearby, and you grabbed it, looking at the time. Only 4:37 in the morning. You went to your messages, texting Toji to see what time he ended up leaving, and if he noticed you acting weird before he left. -"Hey! I just randomly woke up, but I have like a massive headache and everything is really sore. What happened after I got home last night?"-

You waited a moment, hoping for a reply but none came for a long while. By the time you did get anything back, you had slowly spiraled into a panic. Of course the worst consumed your mind, only imagining horrible outcomes of what might have happened the night before. Surely, Toji wouldn't have done anything bad to you, right?

-"Hey princess. Gave you some tea and you were relaxing on the couch. But, you seemed to be a bit buzzed still, you started passin' out on your couch so I put ya to bed and left."

He put you in bed? Well, it did seem quite nice of him. You rarely drank, so it's no wonder you felt like crap. It was certain parts of your body being sore that was a concern to you however. -"We didn't like, do anything, right? I know you kissed me in the car, but you didn't do anything else, did you?"- You nibbled your lower lip in worry while seeing the three little dots of Toji's reply appearing and disappearing before anything was said.

-"Of course not. Why would I do something like that? You were basically passed out, what are you implying?"-

The back of your throat burned as anxiety bubbled up in your chest. Oh shit, you basically just accused him of doing something to you!

-"I'm sorry, that didn't come out right, I'm certainly not accusing you of anything! I wasn't trying to make it sound that way."- You gripped your phone with sweaty palms as the three little dots popped up again, but then disappeared. Leaving you on read.

-"I'm really sorry, I'm just feeling weird and not thinking right."- No reply, and it wasn't even shown as read, only delivered. Several minutes passed and you stared desperately at your phone, awaiting a reply to ease your conscious, but none ever came.

And nothing ever came for the rest of the day either. Though you walked around with a small limp from a pain in your hip, all you could think of was how Toji must have felt for you basically accusing him of doing something to you. He had been nothing but nice and charming the entire night, and then you insult him with that accusation? Stupid.

Monday, 7:37 AM

Monday only brought more worry as you still hadn't heard from him. You were probably going to see him here at school soon and after not hearing back from him just sent tremors through you. How fucking awkward it will be. You waited for him near the lunch room, hoping things wouldn't be tense. What if he completely ignored you? When someone flicked your ear from behind, you quickly whipped around, only to see Toji standing over you, a charmed grin on his face. "Hey there. Ready to eat?"

A little smile crept across your face at his good attitude, but it was still a little nervewracking. "Hey, yeah, but, why didn't you ever text me back?" you wondered, pulling your bottom lip as you looked up to him hopefully. "Oh, I fell asleep and then just forgot." he shrugged it off, that smile never leaving his face as if there wasn't a single problem. You studied him, trying to decipher what he was really feeling, but his expression never faltered. You probably were just overreacting and then panicking, everything seemed fine.

When he invited you out to another party for the next friday, you immediately accepted, wanting another chance to be around him the way you were before. It was mostly the same as before, the only difference being some new faces, but you were still one of the very few freshmen to be among the crowd. You did your best to not drink as much, not wanting to wake up the same way you did last weekend. Dropping you off back at home, you looked over to Toji a little expectantly, licking your upper lip as sublty as possible in anticipation. You wanted him to kiss you like that again, to pull you into his lap and kiss you as if he was craving you. However, he got out of the car, and walked over to your doorside, opening it for you. "Hope you had another good time." He simply said, ushering you out of the seat. You didn't press it, not wanting to seem desperate or confused. This almost became a normal thing, every friday night. There'd be some party, you'd get to go, but Toji didn't try to kiss you anymore. He didn't act any different towards you, but he wouldn't touch you. Had you honestly hurt his feelings that bad where he was afraid to touch you now?

Friday, 11:47 PM

By the fourth friday of him not touching you in any way at all, you took matters into your own hands. As soon as he put the car in park, you climbed over into his lap, gripping onto his shirt desperately as you pressed your lips against his. You whimpered in delight when you felt his large hands settle at your waist, fingertips pushing into your skin. Instead of him returning your kiss in earnest though, he pushed you back, looking at you in an almost confused way. "What's gotten into you all the sudden?"

Your cheeks flared with embarassment, and you weren't even sure how to react right now. "I...I'm sorry, I..." He sighed heavily while turning his head and opening the car door. "Look, I like you but you basically accused me of doing something to you. Thats pretty shitty. You know how much trouble I could get into for some shit like that? You drank too much, and I put you to bed." "I truly didn't mean it like that." You pleaded as he placed you out of the car before getting out. Your short frame stared up to him nervously as he stood up and ran a hand over his face, sighing out in the process. "Please, Toji, I was still mostly asleep when I messaged you, so I wasn't thinking properly." You basically begged, reaching out and holding his hand with both of yours. You did really like this guy, and ruining it already was torturous. He seemed to ponder in his mind, his expression changing slightly as if trying to decide how to proceed from here. "You really want me to kiss you again?"

You nodded quickly, your eyes searching between his as he looked down to you. "Your parents home?" "No, they're out of town again for a couple weeks." "If I come inside again, you're not gonna panic if you wake up tomorrow with some headache, right?" "No, no of course not."

Even if you did wake up feeling like shit again, you certainly weren't going to say anything to him. The last few times you woke up from attending the parties, you hadn't been sore or felt weird. You also had made sure to drink way less than you initially did on the first party night. It was probably just too much alcohol.

Toji brought you another cup of hot tea, you and you fondly watched him sit down next to you on the couch. The butterflies in your stomach were strong as he placed an arm along the back of the couch behind your head, and you couldn't help but scoot a little closer to him, wnting to be against him if possible. Seeing your actions, he smirked and gestured you closer, now wrapping an arm around your waist to hold you close. 

"Thank you." you softly said, resting your head onto him.  "For what?" "Staying with me. I've just been a little lonely lately, and I don't want to lose you either." He smirked while holding you closer to him. "Trust me, I don't plan on leaving your side anytime soon at all."

"Just relax. It might hurt just cause you've never done anything before, but thats normal. The more we do it, the less it will hurt and better it will feel. I promise."

As Toji crawled over you in your bed, your heart beat against the inside of your chest. You weren't sure if you really wanted this right now, but what were you supposed to do otherwise? If you turned him down, he might lose interest. And with the recent move, losing your friends and your parents never being home, the last thing you wanted was to be alone. Toji had been nothing but nice to you since your first day in the new school. Putting out for him shouldn't be that big of a deal. It's just sex, teenagers do it all the time. But why did it feel so, scary?

After he had started making out with you on the couch, you felt this aching desire in your core that you couldn't explain. When Toji's hand came in between your legs and felt the warm, damp fabric, he said it was time for you two to just break the ice, cause you clearly wanted him in this way.

You stared up at the ceiling in the dark, your eyes trying to focus on anything. Quietly wiping some of the tears from your cheeks, you wondered, was it supposed to hurt? Was it supposed to make you feel, used? You imagined it was supposed to be a little more, romantic. Well, he did say he was bigger than average, and you heard that the first time is kinda painful cause it's new, so, maybe that's all it was. Looking over to Toji, you studied his sleeping form, still embarrassed that the two of you were naked and up against each other. He did have an arm wrapped around your waist, and his fingers held softly into your skin. The smell of sex was still in the air, and it wasn't pleasent as you had always imagined it. You've snuck some romance novels into your collection of books over the past year, curiosity of intimacy pulling you in, cause you wanted to know what it was like to be in a real relationship To be mature and have fun, casual sex like a normal teenager. 

Fucking hormones.

The way the words described how someone's first time might be seemed to be an overdramatic lie now. Maybe it was your own fault for imagining it to play out like some fairytale. You were kind of excited for that big high that seemed to elevate women from this plane of existence, but, it never happened. Toji certainly got his, there was clear evidence of that, a mess he obviously didn't care to clean up from you. Wait, you weren't that ignorant to how babies were made. Oh, fuck. You quickly sat up, breath nearly escaping you as you started to panic. You had already been on your period for a year or so, and obviously that meant you could get pregnant. Pregnant, at 14? What a fucking disgrace you'd be to your parents! You already just started having sex with this guy you recently met. What was wrong with you!? "Oh god, oh god!" You cried out, clutching your hand over your chest as you feared what might be happening inside your body this moment. Toji groaned and looked up at you with an aggravated yet concerned look. "What? What's wrong?" "I-I could be pregnant!" You whined, whole body shaking with that terrible idea. You were too young to have a kid. You'd have to drop out of school, have to figure out how to be a mom, you're be such a degenerate to your family. The humiliation!

"Oh, shit, I meant to give you something for later anyway." He said with little worry, like this wasn't some big deal. He rolled over and sat up from the bed, grabbing his pants from where he tossed them over your desk chair. "Here. Just take this." He offered, handing a small pill to you. "A, drug?" You stammered, looking at it in confusion. "It's a morning after pill. Keeps you from getting pregnant." He gestured with it, and you took it carefully, trying to understand how a pill could stop such a thing. "Why is it called a morning after pill?" "Uh, cause ya' usually take it in the morning after fucking through the night." Your cheeks flashed but you stuffed the pill in your mouth, enough saliva building from your panic that you could just swallow it as is. "And just like that, no problems." He chuckled while  setting his pants back down and messing with something near your desk. He finally got back into bed, his larger form crawling over yours, making you cower down into the blankets as he planted kisses on your neck and chest. "Let's get as much use out of that pill as possible." You tried to smile in want as his hand came up between your legs, preparing you to take him again. You wanted to feel mature and interested in all this, but in reality, it felt off putting. Probably just cause it was new and you weren't used to it. Everyone who ever talked about having sex seemed to not be able to get enough of it. Like it was as needed as eating and drinking was. You just had to get used to it. More practice. So, you certainly weren't going to turn Toji down. At some point you knew you'd have to start loving it as much as everyone else, and how the women in your hidden romance novels loved it. Though you couldn't stop the tears from flowing as pain rattled your lower half. Patience, you just needed patience. Surely, Toji wasn't hurting you on purpose. But you didn't want to make him feel bad and tell him to stop when he was clearly enjoying himself and saying how fucking good you felt. But... It hurt. It fucking hurt so bad. A deep ache in your guts that just seemed to intensify with every passing second. Every pained whimper that escaped your lips was immediately matched with Toji's low groans and deep moans of pleasure. Yet, he'd also plant gentle kisses to your teary cheeks, praising your intimate areas for making him feel so good. It made your heart flutter, but you couldn't stop from digging your nails into his back, silently begging him to hurry up and be done because you felt like you were going to break. He lifted your legs up to his waist, encouraging you to wrap them around his body so he could go even deeper but you internally sobbed at the thought. Of course, you noticed how much more he seemed to enjoy it when he could basically get as much of you as he wanted. You suffered through it for that reason, and that reason only. You liked knowing he was happy, liked knowing you could make him happy. You had his attention and you were doing something that he praised you for.

Unfortunately, you weren't aware of just how many other guys attentions you had in this moment. It might have just been you and Toji alone in the room, but the little camera he had placed on your desk broadcasted this moment to whoever was in his circle. They sent texts to Toji, offering their small wads of cash for a night with you, his new little toy. Some even in groups of two or more, the ones that liked to take turns on a girl's unconscious body. He'd get to them later, deciding who would pay the best, and you'd be none the wiser.

"Good morning, beautiful." Tojis deep voice pulled you from your exhaustion, and your dazed features made him chuckle. "Sleep well?" Your vision focused on him, and you offered a weakened smile. Honestly, no. It feels like your insides were punched for hours, leaving you battered and bruised in a place you couldn't comfort.

But as he gently kissed your lips, and held a hand softly to your cheek, the pain eased up a little. "You are so perfect." He breathed out quietly, moving his lips up to your forehead. Warmth filled your cheeks as he lay next to you, holding you with comfort against his warm body. "Honestly, I've never enjoyed someone as much as you." You wanted to have some witty comeback, that of course you were the best, trying to sound confident, but it was hard to speak right now. Probably because you just started crying. Tojis face softened as you just let your emotions out. "What's wrong?" He asked gently, holding you even closer. "It, it all just hurts. And I'm confused, my head is full of worry." "Worry? About what?" "I don't know." You admitted, tucking your self into Tojis arms. Honestly you didn't know. Everything felt weird. You were supposed to like this, weren't you? You liked him, he definitely liked you too, and he was super hot. So weren't you supposed to be madly in love?

I hope you enjoyed! I'm so sorry this is a week late, life got in the way. I wante this first chapter to only have two parts, but I didn't want this last part to be extremely long, so I decided to make one more part after this. So there will be three in total. The next part will happen this week so Im not so far behind on my personal schedule.

Comments and likes are truly appreciated!! <3

[hpimaginesandblurbs]

PLEASEE we need a part 2 of Draco arranged marriage smut with preg readerr😩❕

mixed with this request: hey, can i request a combo of smut, angst, fluff draco x fem reader where she’s his wife, but draco’s been very busy lately and she needs him, she thinks he doesn’t find her attractive anymore because they hadn’t had sex in a long time, but draco tells her that he still loves her and make love to her? sorry if this is weird, and only if you’re comfortable. anyways have a good day

pairing: draco malfoy x reader

word count: 2.5k

warning(s): 18+, pregnant!reader, mentions of negative body image, mentions of weight gain, oral (female receiving), breast play, pregnant sex

a/n: this is actually part 3 to the arranged marriage draco series, so feel free to read the other two before this one if you haven't already! i love these ones so much. also my fbi agent probably thinks i'm a really kinky pregnant lady based on my search history while writing this but oh well.

part 1 / part 2 

It had been almost two years since your arranged marriage to Draco Malfoy and a lot had changed since then.

Firstly, you two were very much happily in love. Your engagement and the first two weeks of your marriage had been awkward and tense, leading you to find pleasure in the arms of your ex. After an impulsive move to admit your mistake to Draco on the very same day, mixed in with some aggressive sex, you two had decided to give your relationship a real shot. It was the best decision either of you had ever made. And now, two years later, you could happily and honestly say it was a real marriage filled with love.

Secondly, Draco had fully taken over as the sole leader of the Malfoy’s family business. You still weren’t entirely sure what the business entailed even after he had explained it to you a dozen times, but you were still proud of him. He worked hard and that hard work was all for you and your growing family.

Oh, right.

The biggest change in your lives has been your pregnancy. It wasn’t exactly planned but it wasn’t exactly an accident either. The two of you had simply decided to let fate decide, and fate was deciding now. You were six months in and you were really beginning to show. It wasn’t the bump that was the problem, but your husband's reaction. Or non-reaction. You understood he was busy with work and more than likely tired when he finally made it to bed, but he had barely touched you over the past few weeks other than small kisses. You knew he loved you, there was no doubting that, but you were starting to have your doubts about his attraction towards you.

Which led to the current situation unfolding in your bedroom.

“Why are you wearing that to bed? You never wear that much clothing to go to sleep,” Draco asked, his face laced with concern as he stripped from his work clothes near the bottom of the bed.

You almost wanted to roll your eyes. Or scream. Because of course he noticed. He noticed everything. You settled on giving him a non committed shrug, but of course he wasn’t having any of that either.

He quickly rounded to the bed to sit down beside you. “Are you feeling alright?” He asked, already bringing his hand up to feel your forehead.

You quickly pushed his hand away and this time you couldn’t stop yourself from rolling your eyes. “I feel fine,” you replied shortly, praying that he wouldn’t keep pestering you about it.

In truth, you were wearing a full set of pajamas to bed because you just didn’t feel attractive wearing your usual over sized shirts or skimpy, small sets anymore. You knew, rationally, that most of it was in your head, but his lack of libido for you lately wasn’t helping you feel much better about your current weight gain.

“Why all the clothing, then? Are you cold? I can turn the heat up if you’d like,” Draco continued, but he stood back up to continue changing.

“Draco, I said I was fine,” you insisted, barely keeping the annoyance out of your voice.

“Do you have a sexy set of lingerie underneath that you want me to find?” He asked, playfully now.

You scoffed. “Not that you’d fuck me if I did anyways,” you whispered under your breath.

But of course he heard you.

“What was that?” He asked, spinning back around to face you, his shirt half unbuttoned and his tie around his neck. Damn him for looking so good.

“I know you heard me. Don’t make me repeat it,” you replied coldly, rolling over so you didn’t have to face him any more.

“Y/N,” he called, trying to get your attention, trying to get you to turn back around. Once he realized that wouldn’t work, he rounded the bed so he could see your face. “Why do you think that?” He asked calmly, but you could see the desperate confusion all over his face.

“‘Why do I think that?’” You mocked, the question riling you up enough to force you to sit up. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe because you haven’t touched me in weeks. I know I’ve gained weight and I know I’m probably starting to look like a whale but-”

“Hey, hey, hey,” he cut you off, swiftly climbing onto the bed so he could be closer to you. “Darling, please calm down,” he pleaded softly, gently dragging you onto his lap so he could hold you. You let him move you easily, but you were still uneasy. He held you close and waited for you to calm down a bit and get settled before he started.

“First of all, you don’t look like a whale so let’s get that out of the way. You never have and you never will no matter how big this baby gets. You’re growing a child inside of you, darling. Please don’t be so hard on yourself for something you’re supposed to be doing right now,” he told you, absentmindedly stroking your growing belly. It was a new quirk he had picked up once you started showing - either of you started talking about the baby and suddenly his hand was on your stomach. The familiarity of the movement put you at ease and you leaned further into him.

“Secondly, I haven’t initiated anything because you were telling me how tired you’ve been. I didn’t want to push you into something you didn’t want or end up hurting you or the baby, so I didn’t try anything. I realize now that that was a mistake, because I hate that I made you feel this way, darling. I should have just asked. But please trust me when I tell you I’ve wanted you every day, same as it’s always been and always will be. Merlin, the past few weeks I’ve been going to bed and waking up hard enough to pound nails,” he admitted sheepishly, causing you to giggle.

Even the thought of him being hard had you clit throbbing and your body perking up. The past few weeks had left you desperate and aching despite the fatigue and other pregnancy symptoms wreaking havoc on your body. Despite the seriousness of the conversation, you wanted him now.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He finally asked, cutting off your train of thought.

You debated lying or even brushing off the question, but you knew he wouldn’t drop it unless he was certain you were being honest. Serious conversations called for honest responses.

“A couple of reasons I guess. You work hard all day and I know you’re tired by the time we get to bed, so I felt bad asking. And with the thoughts I was having it didn’t even really seem worth it to try anything because I thought you’d just shut me down,” you confessed, not even daring to look up at him.

“Darling, the day I say no to sex with you is the day my cock doesn’t work,” he said with a chuckle, but his hand came up to grab you under the chin to turn your head to face him. “I think you’re beautiful, Y/N. I have since the day I met you and everyday since. I don’t call you ‘my pretty girl’ for no reason. If you wanted me to make you feel good, you could have just asked me.”

You gave him a small smile, your first genuine one all day. But you jumped at the opportunity. “Even right now?” You asked bashfully, referencing the less-than-sexy pajamas you were wearing.

He didn’t even bother giving you an answer. On your next breath, he was pulling you into a heated kiss that you have been waiting weeks for. You both have been waiting if his enthusiasm was anything to go by.

Gently, so gently as if you might break if he was any rougher, he moved you both until you were laying flat on your back without breaking the kiss once. In mere moments he was stripping you bare, removing your layers until you were finally exposed to him. He didn’t give you a moment to be insecure, though.

“You’re fucking gorgeous,” he murmured, his dark eyes trailing over every inch of your body. You might have thought he was just feeding you compliments if you didn’t see the utter rapture in his eyes, but his look of lust was unmistakable.

You were breathless just from the way he was looking at you, equally stunned and turned on by the way he was devouring you with his eyes. But when he immediately ducked down to lick a harsh trail up your soaked slit, a moan of pleasure got ripped from your throat without hesitation. After weeks of nothing but self inflicted torture, feeling his tongue on you was an otherworldly experience.

“Fuck, I missed this,” he murmured against your aching clit before unleashing himself on you like a starving man. He started on your clit, giving it kitten licks and sucking it in between his lips until your legs were shaking. Eventually, he made his way down to your entrance to fuck you with his tongue, making you writhe against the sheets and practically scream his name.

“Cum for me, pretty girl. I can feel how close you are,” he demanded, his lips a caress against your sensitive skin as he worked you closer and closer to your release with his tongue.

He sucked your clit into his mouth one last time, and that was your undoing. You came with a scream, your back arching obscenely as wave upon wave of pleasure coursed through your body. Despite not having made you cum in weeks, your husband certainly did not disappoint. You doubted he ever would.

You could feel Draco staring at you as you came down from your high, and when you cracked your eyes open you were just as transfixed as he looked. His usually perfect hair was a mess, sticking up in odd places from the way you had mused your fingers through his locks. His lips were swollen and wet, in equal measure from the kisses you had been sharing and his exquisite ministrations on your still throbbing cunt. And his eyes were dark with lust, staring into yours like you held the answer to every question he ever had.

“Did that feel good, darling?” He cooed, his hands trailing possessively up your body as he raised himself to hover above you.

“I want more,” you told him honestly as he took your tender breasts in his hands, tweaking your nipples just to force a whine out of you.

“Keep making those pretty noises and we might be here all night,” he said with a smirk, his head ducking down to suck on the nipples he had just been playing with.

It felt so much better than it usually did, probably thanks to how sore they were. His tongue was soothing every inch of you and every movement caused another pulse of pleasure to go directly to your clit.

“Fuck, I think I can cum like this,” you gasped, pulling his head impossibly closer to your chest.

With graceful ease he doubled down on his actions, licking and sucking on your nipples with fervor as he slipped a hand down to play with your clit. Your body was in sensory overload as he worked you closer and closer to the edge, never once stopping what he was doing just to get you there.

You arched your back, suffocating him with your breasts as you reached your peak. Your cunt clenched around nothing as he worked you through it, his own moans vibrating against your sensitive nipples.

Draco wasted no time in stripping the second your breathing evened out, settling himself in the cradle of your thighs once he was back on the bed at lightning speed.

“Tell me if it’s too much. I don’t know how gentle I can be right now,” he said softly, a warning you’d probably ignore because you needed him inside of you just as badly as he did right now.

You could only nod back, your voice caught in your throat in anticipation. In one swift movement, he was buried inside you to the hilt, both of you giving strangled moans at the sensation.

He started slow, letting your body readjust to his impressive length and girth. You weren’t even sure which noises were yours and which were his, but you did know you were fighting not to roll your eyes back in your head in order to watch him work. He was clearly holding back, but his impeccable self control was shattering as he thrust inside of you.

You knew just how to break him.

“Fuck me like you mean it. Draco, please. I want to feel it in the morning,” you whined, your voice breathy from just his slow movements. You knew you’d be helpless to your own desire once he broke, but you knew it would be worth it.

He took a moment to look at you, an assessing gaze in his eyes. It was sweet that he didn’t want to hurt you, but that’s not what you needed or wanted right now. Far from it, really. He must have liked what he saw because from one breath to the next, you were screaming his name.

His next thrust was brutal, deep and hard just the way you were craving. You knew neither of you would last long like this, not with all the pent up arousal, but it was worth it to feel the powerful movements of his hips as he ruined you.

Despite his lack of control, he was still meticulous in the way he tore you apart. Slowly, he dipped his head down once more to suck a nipple into his mouth. Your back arched as you writhed under him, only pushing his cock deeper inside of you. Once you felt his fingers on your clit, you knew you were done for.

The world was a blur as your climax hit you, your vision and hearing almost nonexistent as he fucked you through it. It was only when you heard Draco let out his own ragged, breathless moan that you felt your body falling back into place underneath him while he released deep inside of you.

You both stayed like that for a time, your bodies still joined and close as you both came back down to earth. It felt almost impossible to catch your breath, but when he pulled out and wrapped you in his arms you felt your entire body settle into him. The silence that fell over the room was peaceful and content, but a stark contrast from what it had been mere minutes ago.

“Go to sleep, pretty girl. I’m staying home tomorrow and at this rate it’s doubtful we’ll ever make it out of bed,” he finally said, his promise coming with a smirk you couldn’t see from your angle but you knew was dancing across his face.

“I like the sound of that,” you conceded, slowly succumbing to the sleep you desperately needed after that, but the last thought you had before sleep took you was that you had never felt more loved, more cherished, more beautiful than right now in his arms.

[ncssian]

A Favor: Part Eleven

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: first chapter after acosf!! im sorry for how short this one is, but acosf wrecked me and writing this put me back together. i hope it does something similar for you ❤️

***

“You say you’ve been doing better lately?”

The therapist’s office is plain, a little gloomy, but big windows overlook the center of town that make Nesta feel less suffocated.

She nods, “Yeah.”

“How would you describe ‘better’?” Dr. Bond— Lana, she insists on being called— has been endlessly patient with Nesta’s non-answers so far. Nesta almost feels bad and decides to throw the woman a rope.

“I’m not alone anymore,” she says. “I used to be alone all the time, but now I have friends, sort of… and a boyfriend.” She still loves that word. It’s never tasted so exciting before.

“You were always alone before this, then? Or were there just people that you didn’t consider noteworthy?”

A scowl rises to Nesta’s mouth. Damn, she works quick. “I was raised with two sisters in a one-bedroom apartment. I never got to be alone, but then I grew up, and…” Her mind wants to skip over the time she spent in college. “For the last couple of years, I holed up in my own place. Never wanted to talk to anybody or see them. If people took an interest in me, I shut them down because I didn’t have an interest in them.”

“You missed a few years,” Lana notes.

“What?”

“You’re twenty-four, and you moved out at eighteen. Where were you before getting your own place?”

Numbness seeps through Nesta at the question. She knows she can ask Lana to change the topic, but that will only bring it back later. “I had a boyfriend in college,” she says flatly. “I lived with him for a few years, but like you said, it isn’t noteworthy.”

“As a fellow lone wolf, I disagree.” Lana’s clinical polite face is unchanging. “Any person who you trust enough to let into your life is noteworthy.”

Nesta says nothing.

“I’m interested in these people you’ve chosen to trust,” her therapist continues after a beat of silence. “Why don’t we start with whoever you trust most?”

Nesta snorts. This she can talk about.

“His name is Cassian. I’ve been living with him ever since my apartment got flooded a couple of months ago, and he’s always been a good friend to me.” She sits there, thinking about what else to say. “I think I like him more than I’ve ever liked anybody.”

“This is the new boyfriend?”

Nesta nods.

“Do you compare him to the old one?”

Nesta doesn’t know what this lady’s angle is, but she answers carefully, “I used to. Back when I first moved in. I haven’t done it in a long time, though.”

“Why not?”

The answer is simple. “There’s no need to. He’s not comparable to anybody.”

“Is that why you opened up to him after two years of self-imposed isolation?”

Nesta looks away. “It wasn’t isolation,” she defends. “It’s just… after a lifetime of being subjected to the gaze of strangers, I wanted to hide. I liked hiding.” Mostly.

“What does that mean, the gaze of strangers?”

Question after cool question, this one. Nesta struggles to find a proper answer.

“You know how,” she starts slowly, “as soon as you start school, you’re placed into this bubble with a bunch of people who don’t know you and have no reason to care about you? There’s a shift in how you view people, and how people view you. And I thought I could leave it behind once I graduated high school, but it followed me to college and to parties and into everyday interactions.”

“What is it?”

“It’s this—” Nesta waves her hands, “judgment. It’s that thing you do as soon as you meet someone, and you try to determine whether they’re worth your time or not. Whether they’re above or below you in this made-up social hierarchy in your head.”

“Explain that more,” Lana says.

“We want to hang around people we find cool. And when we meet someone new, we inspect them, look them up and down, to see if they fit our definition of cool. We take them apart. Everyone does it, even you. And with me,” she shrugs, “I’m pretty, I wear the right clothes, I do my makeup. So at first glance, people think, ‘Oh, I can see myself getting to know her better. I can see myself liking her.’ But then they take a closer look at me, and it’s like…” Her fingers flutter in the air, trying to support her thoughts. “I can see their minds changing. ‘Nevermind, I was wrong. Nevermind, there’s something off with her. She’s a little quiet, a little weird, a little bitchy.’”

Lana narrows her eyes. “And Cassian doesn’t look at you like that?”

Nesta looks away. “He doesn’t look at anyone like that.”

It’s what used to make her so uncomfortable about him. She was incapable of fathoming his honesty, his genuineness, his kindness. She thought he was even weirder than her for it— she placed him beneath her on her social hierarchy for it.

Lana frowns thoughtfully. “And now you two live together?”

Nesta nods, then shrugs. “For the next twenty-four hours, we do. He’s helping me move back into my old place.”

Because that was another conversation she and Cassian had on Thanksgiving night. It was a long time coming, but also the perfect time.

“You’re saying your apartment has been ready for weeks? Why are you just telling me now?”

Nesta pillowed her face on his chest, not as upset at revealing the news as she would have been some days ago. “Because I was scared that if I moved out, I would lose my friendship with you.”

“That never would have happened—”

“We wouldn’t see each other every day anymore. Even if we didn’t go back to being complete strangers, the closeness would be lost.”

“You must not know me, then. I would’ve texted you every fucking hour. You’d never hear the end of me.”

“I couldn’t guarantee that back then.” She looked up at him through her lashes. “I can now.” She crawled higher up his body, lowering her voice to a secretive pitch. “Want to know why?”

“Why?” he whispered.

“Because you’re mine now. And that’s what I was waiting for while I made Lorene hold that shitty empty apartment for me. I was waiting for a catalyst, a revelation.” She pressed a kiss to his sternum. “And I most definitely got it.” The pleasant ache between her legs was proof enough. “Also,” she added, “it would be weird if you lived with your girlfriend before even having a first date with her.”

Cassian huffed a laugh. “You have a point there. We have been moving backwards, haven’t we?”

Nesta nodded into his skin.

He got a little quiet. “Still,” he said after a moment. “I’ll miss you.”

“You’ll see me every day. I’ll be fifteen minutes away.”

“I’ll still miss you.”

“I know.”

“What does talking about guys have to do with my therapy?” Nesta squirms, getting restless with the topic.

“Lots of things,” Lana says, putting down her notepad. “It gets you comfortable with expressing your feelings to me, and it teaches me about how you view the world. Besides, therapy isn’t just a rehashing of past traumas, you know. We can talk about whatever you want here, especially if it makes you feel good.”

“Well, I want to talk about something else.” She’s not spending this much money by the hour just to talk about how much she likes Cassian— she can go to Cassian for that for free.

“Like what?” Lana asks smoothly.

She’s offering an opening, finally, to the real reason that Nesta’s here.

Nesta pulls at the sleeves of her sweatshirt, wondering where to start. “I feel like I’ve been growing up lately,” she says carefully. “I have all these new people in my life to be responsible for, and I’m— I want to do it right. But I’m worried I won’t have room for new things until I pack up some of my old shit, so that’s why I’m here, I guess. I don’t want to hold on to all of my old shit anymore.”

At Lana’s encouraging silence, she continues, “I spent my whole life stuck in a suffocating town, and as soon as I left, I got stuck in a relationship. By the time I knew what freedom felt like, I— I’d been left behind. Everyone I knew was moving onto bigger things and all I had was this shitbag of a past. So I got a new place and started law school and called it a fresh start, but now I’m here and I’m not sure if I ever got better.”

She takes a sharp breath after everything that’s spilled.

Lana purses her lips, letting the room absorb Nesta’s words. After a long moment, she says, “Just because bad things stop happening to someone, doesn’t mean they instantly get better. It’s a good thing that you’re recognizing that before stepping into new relationships, Nesta.”

Lana glances at the clock on the wall. “I’m afraid that’s all the time we have for today, but this was a productive first session.” She offers a small smile. “Same time next week?” She says it as if it isn’t already a done deal.

Nesta nods gratefully anyway, unable to say anything else. As soon as she’s out the door, a pent-up sigh escapes her. That wasn’t so bad.

***

Later that night, Nesta doesn’t miss Cassian’s wistful stare as he takes down the painting he got her from the fall festival. Nor does she miss how slowly he packs it away.

Once the bedroom she made her home is as sparse as the day she moved in, all her things packed away neatly in boxes, Nesta wraps her arms around Cassian and pulls him to the bed. There, she lets him hold her close, their breaths and limbs intertwining as they lie in thoughtful silence.

“I can’t believe I’ll never see this room again,” Nesta says quietly.

Cassian’s eyes widen in alarm. “What do you mean, never again?”

“I’ll be staying in your room whenever I visit, remember?” Her underwear already occupies a drawer in his closet.

Cassian visibly relaxes when he remembers, then smiles. “Right. Of course.”

She lets herself sink deeper into his embrace. “I just realized you’ve never seen my apartment before.” He was waiting at the front door of Lorene’s place while Nesta collected her things all those weeks ago, but she cringes at the thought of him visiting now. The clear wealth gap between her and Cassian doesn’t usually show, but it’ll be undeniable with the cramped room she calls an apartment. “Maybe it’s best if I move back in without your help. There might not even be space there for your huge body.”

“Sounds more appealing by the minute.” He’s not joking. He tilts up Nesta’s chin so she’s forced to meet his eyes. “I can’t wait to start partaking in your life the way you took over mine. Spending nights at your place, meeting your friends, riding in your car instead of mine.”

Nesta swallows.

“I’m gonna miss you like hell, but it’ll be for the best.”

He’s right: this is what’s best for their budding relationship right now. Moving out, creating even a little bit of distance— all of it is so they can finally learn each other as lovers instead of roommates. So when they do come back together, which Nesta firmly believes they will, it’ll be stronger than ever before.

Some of their shared sadness flits away at the truth of it. She only places her hand on his cheek, content to appreciate this view— this beautiful, hazel-shaded view— without further chitchat or goodbyes.

Cassian is not as fond of the silence. “I need to tell you something,” he says seriously after a few minutes.

After only a handful of days dating Cassian, Nesta knows what he’s going to say. “Don’t,” she warns, unamused.

He grins conspiratorially and leans in even closer, until their mouths are almost brushing. “You’re my everything, Nesta.”

“Oh my god, stop it.” She squirms out of his hold and gets up, tossing the blankets off herself.

“No, come back!” He makes a grab for her sleeve. “We have to use the bed one last time—”

But she’s already running off.

***

Cassian carefully arranges the canvas painting on the wall, taking a step back to determine if it’s hanging straight. The ruby and amber leaves of the landscape stand out against the dull teal walls of Nesta’s basement apartment, but he’s just getting started.

The rest of Nesta’s things are half-unpacked from their cardboard boxes, but instead of going for the important shit first, he finds the box he specifically marked FAVES in bold letters the night before.

While Nesta wrangles to get her clothes back into her old closet in the background, Cassian crouches and rips open the small box. There, lying atop his girlfriend’s favorite trinkets and personal items, is the framed photo he snuck in without her noticing.

It’s of the two of them at the fall festival, taken mere hours before their first kiss. Nesta is pressed up close to Cassian (her excuse being that it was cold), and a genuine light fills her eyes, one that Cassian never thought he’d be able to capture on camera. Cassian himself isn’t looking at the camera, but down at Nesta with wind-flushed cheeks and a distant smile. Making sure she’s having a good time, that she truly wants to be there with him in that moment.

He never realized how close they looked in that picture until he had it printed and framed, not long after Nesta announced she was moving out. He can’t believe he didn’t see it sooner.

Standing up, he places the photo on Nesta’s wooden dresser. Nesta still has her head in the closet, moving things around, but Cassian makes no announcement of his gift to her. She’ll notice it sooner or later.

He clears his throat. “Wanna take a break and order Chinese?”

Nesta pops her head out of the closet, her ponytail ruffled and eyes narrowed at him. “Have you even been helping this whole time?”

“Standing here and looking pretty is harder than it seems, but I don’t expect any credit from you,” he jokes. “Just let me buy you lunch.”

Nesta grumbles something he chooses not to hear, but straightens up and rubs her spine with a wince. “I need a fucking chiropractor,” she mutters.

Guilt shoots through Cassian at that small wince, and he resolves to finish organizing Nesta’s closet for her before the day is over. Nesta goes on, “So? Still determined to split your time between here and the cabin?” She gestures to the apartment with an arm.

It’s really just a glorified single room, with a rusty kitchenette in the corner, a hallway near the stairs that holds the bathroom, and Nesta’s bed pushed against one wall. It’s nothing special, but Cassian loves it. Mostly because he can already envision each new nook and cranny to take Nesta against, and how he wants to wake up in that too-small bed on days that he’s too lazy to drive home.

“It’s perfect,” he says simply. Thank you for sharing your home with me, is what he really means. Speaking of homes—

Cassian digs around in his pocket, finding and pulling out a newly-minted silver key. “I almost forgot to give you this.”

Nesta frowns, coming forward to take the key from him. He uses the closeness as an excuse to wrap his arms around her waist while she inspects the object.

She glances up at him, eyes softer than they were a moment ago, lips slightly parted. “You’re giving me a key to the cabin?”

He shrugs casually. “You should’ve gotten one a long time ago.” She used either Cassian’s key or the spare while she lived there.

Her mouth is still open, and she closes it once, twice, before finally saying, “I don’t have a key to my place for you.”

“But I can get one,” she adds quickly. “If you want it, that is.”

Of course he wants it, but he keeps his face carefully neutral. “Only if you want me to have one. We’re still new, and this is your personal space.” He emphasizes your.

Nesta purses her lips, then says, “I’ll think about it.”

Cassian’s shoulders slump in relief— relief that Nesta is being honest with him instead of doing something she isn’t yet ready for. He’ll take her honesty over an apartment key any day.

Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, he smiles brightly and shoves her toward the bed. “If we’re getting dumplings again then you can’t steal mine.”

***

a/n: fair warning that ive never been to therapy, but in stories therapists are usually a mode for character exploration and development, which is what nesta's therapy will be for.

also im so glad i got to meet gwyn in acosf and im so excited to introduce her into this fic too!! if you have ideas for her origin story feel free to share because nothing is planned yet

taglist: @ladywitchling @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson @swankii-art-teacher

[shotofire]

Cursed Love (2)

Fushiguro x F!Reader

Sukuna x F!Reader

Warnings: Cursing, angst, physical harm to reader

Anon asked for pt. 2, and they shall receive ಠ‿↼ (Happy new year to you as well, anon :p)

(Time lapse is very different from the show)

-

Ever since the encounter Itadori had with Fushiguro, the infamous Sukuna has had nothing to say. It has been a whole month since the curse was beaten down by Fushiguro and his heart had been aching ever since. Most will argue that curses don’t even have a heart, but they do. It has been so long since he has felt like this and he absolutely hates it.

He hates seeing you smile now, hates hearing you giggle, hates when you make a joke that has everyone snickering. It only made his feelings grow and the heart ache stronger. Everyday he wishes the dumb teen never ate his damn finger, then he wouldn’t be in this mess. He wouldn’t be hopelessly in love.

All Sukuna wants right now is to be his own person. Be able to get you on his own, and not struggle within another. Never in a million years did he think this was how his life would turn out. In love and stuck in another’s body with zero control. It was pure hell and all he longs for is to be free.

He could see you right now, a determined look on your face. You were fighting a curse with Itadori by your side, thankfully Fushiguro wasn’t here. In Sukuna’s opinion, your little boyfriend held you back during times like this. He’d try to act all heroic and fight the curse for you, and protect you. But you didn’t need protecting, even Sukuna can see how strong you are. In the past he would yell in Itadori’s head, “Let the girl be! She doesn’t need your help!”

Itadori could hear his words and in all honesty completely agreed, but didn’t say anything. Sukuna does believe the boy loves you, but just because you’re in love doesn’t mean it’s meant to be. You shouldn’t be with someone who can’t let you do things on your own, or can’t see your strength. It’s not like you’re some lost puppy who needs to be babied and looked after. You were a damn sorcerer for crying out loud, a pretty talented one as well.

You’d taken a few hard blows from the curse since you haven’t had action for awhile. It’s Fushiguro’s damn fault, Sukuna thought. You’d be doing so much better right now if you hadn’t been held back for so long. For so many missions he’d done all the work for you, and Sukuna could tell it annoyed you. But you kept your mouth shut, not wanting to seem ungrateful.

Sukuna wishes with everything he was human right now as he watches you take hit after hit. Your eyes were struggling to stay focused, and your body was weakening. You didn’t even feel the blow that has you now on the floor, vision blackening. Itadori is too occupied with the curse coming for him to help you, there was no way he could get past it.

“Enchain.”

Itadori’s mind is taken over by the king, without even knowing. It was different for whoever was steering the wheel. If it was Itadori, Sukuna can see everything through his eyes. But when Sukuna is taking over, everything is dark for the young sorcerer.

Sukuna is strong, so he’s quick to have the curse blown to pieces. Within a second he’s by your side, kneeling down to hold you in his arms. “Cmon love, wake up.” He practically panicking, you’ve been beat to your limit. Blood soaks the bottom of your shirt, and some more trickles down your chin from your mouth. He shakes your body in his grasp, but not too aggressively. There’s no telling what damage has been done internally.

You groan before your eyes begin to flutter open. Pain was already making it’s way from head to toe, causing any type of movement to be gut wrenching. “Don’t move, you’re hurt pretty bad.” You know that voice, it was him. Out of reflex you jump, but not enough to leave his touch. “Stop, you’re bleeding badly.”

This was all surreal. There’s no way that the king of curses was actually concerned for your well being. “Sukuna?” You whisper, the first time he’s ever heard you say his name. It’s like a song, rolls off the tongue just right. “Yes, it’s the scary guy. No talking, love, your energy has already been spent.”

Did he just call me love?

There was no way this wasn’t a dream. Someone, more like something, that has caused so much destruction through his time was trying to keep you safe. For some odd reason.. you do feel safe. In a way his concern was comforting, and gave you a unknown feeling in your stomach. “Just close your eyes, I’ve got you. Help will be here soon.” The markings begin to fade away and you feel yourself drifting back into darkness.

-

Your eyes slowly open, then squint as you see light. The pounding in your head is almost too much to bare, and your body is on fire. “Fuck.” As the words leave your mouth it somehow makes the pain worse. “You’re awake!” It’s Fushiguro’s voice, but your vision is still too blurred to see anything. “Yeah but I already want to go back to sleep.”

It’s too bright, too loud, too much. You can feel Fushiguro’s hand on your arm, rubbing lightly, and honestly you’d rather not be touched right now. Your body is in such discomfort and pain, the last thing you want is touch. “My head hurts so fucking bad,” you whine.

Over the next few minutes the lights don’t meet your eyes as harshly, and the pounding simmers. Everything still hurts but it’s not as intense. You scan the room, and you could only guess you are at the hospital, and see Itadori in the door way. That’s when it all comes back to you in a flash, making your stomach tie into knots. The boy sees the realization hit your face, and that’s when he knows his assumptions were correct.

He’d come back to reality with you in his arms only hours before, but had no idea how it had happened. One minute he was fighting for his life and the next he had you in his grasp. It had to be Sukuna, it was his only guess. Your shocked expressions tell him everything he needs to know, the curse saved you. This time it’s your choice to tell Fushiguro, itadori didn’t want to be the one.

Itadori couldn’t help but wonder what had been said to you, or if he even spoke any words. The whole situation was puzzling. He didn’t even know how the king had taken over his body without his permission. That didn’t settle right with him either, he has to give permission... so how’d Sukuna do it?

Your eyes are widened as you continue to look at Itadori. The events come flooding back, every last detail. You’d been knocked out and woke up in Itadori arms, but it wasn’t actually him. It was Sukuna, and he seemed so concerned about you. He actually looked panicked, as if you getting hurt was just as much pain for him.

“He called me love.” “What was that?”

You didn’t mean to speak out loud, but thankfully you mumbled it. “Nothing.” Fushiguro didn’t pester you further. Mixed emotions swirled within you head. You weren’t bothered by what happened, for some reason. The feelings of comfort was radiating off the king of curses, such a dark soul was making you feel safe and... loved.

There was no telling how long this was going to be on your mind, how long these weird feelings are going to fly around, or why he’d done it. What the hell was going on with you? Why are you so interested in what a deadly curse may feel or think about you? You have Fushiguro, and that’s enough. Well is it?

If it was enough, why are you thinking about Sukuna?

[ceo-of-daichi]

Request ~ ‘Lydz! I need a Daichi fluff so bad. SO BAD. Could I request a long distance relationship with Daichi, and one day after s/o cries over the phone saying that she misses him, he decides to fly to her as a a surprise!! 😭💖 it can be a hc or drabble one-shot, whatever you’re comfortable with! Thank you bb ily ❤️’ ~ @mrs-kuroojinguji

Characters ~ Sawamura Daichi x Fem!Reader

Genre ~ Fluff

Warnings ~ Kinda a rollercoaster of emotions... a bit of the reader crying

Word Count ~ 1.8k+

A/N ~ Haven’t written a long fic in a while so i hope you guys enjoy this!!!💛 Thank you to @scorpiosanssexy for beta reading this☺️ Also i’m so sorry this took so long for me to write Ana😫

‘I love you baby…’ You hear as you hang up your phone, tossing it to the side. Another night where you slept in an empty bed. You had lost track of how many it's been without him by your side physically. A year? Maybe closer to two? The hope that one day soon you would wake up to his warm arms around you, his breath fanning on the back of your neck. Comfort, something he automatically provided. It was in his aura, whenever he was close and sadly you hadn’t felt it in a while.

As much as you loved the UK it was far away from home, not only your family but your friends and from Daichi. The one you wished you could spend every waking moment with, someone who you could see yourself with for the rest of your life. You felt so far away from him, 5,732 miles to be exact, a number you had spent so many sleepless nights thinking about. As your head hit the pillow you figured tonight was going to be another one of those nights. 

Your day seemed to drag as all you could think about was Daichi’s words to you last night. ‘I can’t come see you yet, I'm so sorry, work is piling up and with my family wanting me home I just can’t spare the time to fly over… I’m so sorry, I'm going to have to fly over in summer.’ Was what he had said, he was meant to come see you after Christmas, but as it was early into January now you had lost hope for seeing him. 

It wasn’t long before both of your universities started up again for the new term, you would have to pray he would be able to come visit in summer or you could get the funds to see him. It was getting hard to be away from him, everyday the ache seemed to worsen in your chest.

Even when you both first got together, he knew that all you needed to feel better was a hug or his arm comfortingly on your back. To be pulled onto his lap so he could hold you impossibly close, you were always someone who has loved his touch. You were addicted to it. Both of you knew that it would be harder long distance yet you couldn’t bear to break up. But it was starting to prove to be harder than you anticipated.

‘You know you don’t have to continuously stir the pasta right?’ Your roommate Beth said, you wondered how long she had been watching you. Glancing at the clock you realised you must have been there for at least 40 minutes. 

‘Hm? Yeah of course I know, I just like to make sure it's done… which it is.’ You replied, as you looked down at the pasta that was now basically mush in the pan. Letting out a deep sigh you drained it and put it in a bowl.

‘You’re seriously going to eat that? Oh god no [y/n]...’ She said as she took the bowl straight from your hands throwing the whole thing in the bin.

‘Hey! I like that bowl?!’ You protested as she led you to the couch.

‘Lets order takeout, I can tell you have been thinking about him again… Still no chance he can come?’ Beth asked as she scrolled through her phone for both your favourite takeout. You didn’t reply as you got lost in your thoughts once again. You didn’t realise how obvious it was that you weren’t doing well and even though Beth knows you better than anyone, she wouldn’t mention anything unless she thought it was serious. 

‘He just said he couldn’t come… It's been almost 2 years since I have seen him physically, not on the other side of a screen. I miss him so much and it's starting to get harder to talk to him over the phone because everything hurts Beth… I love him so much.’ You practically word vomit as your eyes start to prick with tears.

The hurt evident as she pulled you in for a hug, letting your tears free as if they had been trapped in your ducts for years. Quickly dampening her shirt as she tried to do as much as she could to calm you down, it was no use though. ‘Do you think he just doesn’t want to see me? Maybe he’s found someone else?’ You questioned out loud as loud sobs continued to wrack your body.

‘Hey… Hey! I don’t know much about this guy, but from what you have told me he seems like a really respectable guy who loves you. Plus he’s your boyfriend so he has to be amazing! Have you thought about telling him how you feel?’ Beth asked getting up quickly to grab you some tissue. 

‘No, I haven’t! I don’t want him to think I don’t trust him, because it's not that at all…’ Before you could finish sniffling out everything you had to say your phone lit up. A bright picture of Daichi from the last time you saw him covering the screen, arm around your waist and a goofy smile adorning his face. Daichi who you loved so much, who it hurt so bad to think about for no reason other than he wasn’t here. He wasn’t by your side, he was 5,732 miles away.

As you got up to go answer the phone in your room, Beth gave you a sympathetic smile and a quick mouthing of ‘tell him’. A deep sigh passed your lips as you closed the door separating you from the kitchen, you knew she was right but something was holding you back. 

Cleaning yourself up slightly you finally answered the facetime call. ‘Hey baby…’ You said greeting him with a small smile. You knew he could tell you had been crying the minute he answered when his face dropped. ‘Hey baby-girl, you okay?’ He asked and that was all it took. You couldn’t keep it from him anymore, tears spilled once again from your eyes as you told him everything. 

Daichi’s heart broke as he watched you cry on the other side of the screen, he wanted to gather you in his arms and tell you it was going to be okay. That you would both get through this together, however he was lost for words. He couldn’t hold you, he couldn’t even get you your favourite food to cheer you up. He wasn’t there. As you both talked it out, he couldn’t stop apologising, every ‘i’m sorry’ that fell from his lips felt so natural yet should it be? 

Once you had calmed down and the facetime ended, Daichi couldn’t get the image of you crying out of his head. How had he not seen the person he loved and cherished so much in almost 2 years? 

The night was long and tiring for both of you, neither could sleep, plagued by thoughts of what’s next? What can either of you do to better the situation? You couldn’t dream of leaving him but what if you had no choice. It was 3:27am and you decided it was probably better to try and take your mind off the situation, falling asleep in front of the TV was better than not falling asleep at all. 

A couple days passed, although you couldn't stop thinking about Daichi you had gone back to normal with him. You thought it was strange but since that night Daichi seemed a lot more upbeat, wanted to call you more and was texting you constantly. You weren’t complaining though, you loved how he seemed to be making more of an effort since you had confessed to him. 

‘Wow you actually managed to cook the pasta properly this time?!’ Beth said, an amused expression on her face as she sat at the table across from you. This caused a laugh to erupt from you, she was right once again. ‘Yeah I guess things are improving huh?’ You replied as she laughed along. You had made pasta properly, not as if it was anything special but it tasted good you thought. 

As you both chatted and giggled away you were interrupted by a knock at the door. ‘Did you order food?’ You question as you got up to answer, wondering who it could be at such a weird time as your eyes scanned the clock, 10:36pm. Swinging open the door your whole body froze. 

His brown hair was tousled and out of place, his grey sweatpants hanging off him perfectly and although he looked tired and rushed to anyone else. You had never seen someone so handsome before, not being able to stop yourself jumping on him. Despite being exhausted, Daichi still managed to catch you in his arms. ‘You came…’ You whispered into his shoulder, taking in his scent. How you had missed his slightly woody smell, it smelt like home.

‘I couldn’t not come… It broke my heart to see you cry because of me, I dropped everything to come’ He smiled, as he rubbed your back comfortingly placing a kiss to the side of your head. Suddenly 5,732 miles didn’t feel long at all when you were in his arms, realising the exact reason you didn’t break it off with him originally, he was worth the ups and downs. Worth the long nights of falling asleep on facetime because of the time difference, worth every ‘i love you’ text and every ‘i miss you’ whispered over the phone.

As he let you down and grabbed his stuff to bring in you couldn’t help but admire him. Has he got bigger? His arms looked so much more refined and muscular, the 2 years training to be in the emergency services sector clearly having an effect on his body. Before you knew what you were doing you gripped his bicep softly, he really was stronger than before you thought. 

‘You okay there baby? Something interesting?’ He chuckled as he watched your face heat up, scooping you into his arms again. Not wanting to admit you really liked the change in his body you buried your face into his neck. ‘I just missed you a lot…’ You confessed, not like you hadn’t told him this before but being held in his arms made it so much more real. ‘I missed you too princess…’ He whispered, lifting your chin to look at him before pressing his lips to yours.

It felt like a lifetime had passed since the last time your lips had met, but it was just as amazing as the first time. All fears and worries suddenly dissipated, the only thing that mattered right now was him and how much time you had to make up for. 

Gen Taglist ~ @honey-makki @novvabeam @scorpiosanssexy @sugawara-sweetheart @watermelonsugawara @taeya-san @mrs-kuroojinguji @arixtsukki @whootwhoot @cadenceh2o @minibobabottle @gemini-writes @lxvelylevi @kisskissfailmylife

If you want to be added to my General Taglist just send me an ask!

[ghostlywritten]

If Only I Had Stayed In The Shadows - Chapter Two

James Potter x OC

Words: 2,6k

Prologue Chapter One

"Get up, it's Hogsmeade time!" Marlene shouted and I felt something soft hit the back of my head.

"Nrnngh," I grumbled, snuggling my face further into my pillow. "Come on, we only have this day and we have to eat breakfast, too!"

"Fine," I sighed, rolling off the bed.

"So, what's the plan for today?" I asked as we trudged down the hill towards the village after we handed in our permission slips to Filch.

"I need to go to the Hairdressing Salon for a new haircut," Marlene announced, tightening the scarf around her neck as a rather cool breeze drifted around us.

Groaning, I held her back by the elbow, "Are we going to spend all day in a salon? That's a total waste!"

"Oi, taking care of my hair is not a waste. And maybe you two should get a haircut, too," Marlene pointed out, causing Lily and I to splutter in protest.

"Excuse me, why do I need a haircut?" Lily asked, reaching up to touch her hair.

"It's way too long and unpractical, you always need hours for a Straightening Charm to work," the dark-haired girl explained matter-of-factly, "And yours, dear Cecily, is way too long and asymmetrical. It's as if you are cutting your hair yourself."

I kept quiet, wondering how she had figured that out as I touched my straight, light-brown hair a bit self-consciously. "Whatever, I don't want to spend all day in a hair salon," I said defiantly, "Besides, I need to get to Honeydukes to get all kinds of candy."

"What for?"

"For myself mostly…and for Madam Pomfrey." My two dear friends both came to an abrupt halt.

"You are trying to bribe her?" Lily laughed and I gave her a shrug, "What else can I do?" They just shook their head, "What do you think would be her taste?"

"Cec, you are going to Honeydukes. You won't find anything that will not be to anyone's taste," Lily stated, and I had to agree.

"The shop is across the hair salon," Marlene informed as we reached the village, "You go to there and I will get my hair done in under an hour. Promise!"

"Fine. And we go to the Three Broomsticks after?"

"Deal."

We parted ways with Marlene, Lily deciding to roam around Honeydukes with me to avoid sitting in the salon and possibly getting a hair cut without wanting to.

The bell jingled as I opened the wooden door and I took in the scent of mixed sweets, "Ah, I'm in heaven."

"Agreed," Lily said with a smile. I looked around the many rows of chocolate, gummies and other kinds of teeth-rotting sweets. "Now that I think about it, a Healer would probably not like unhealthy food like this, would they?"

"Please, she is not a dentist. No one can resist these goodies," Lily said, devouring a toffee with a satisfied hum as she handed me one, "Definitely not."

I resolved to pick up a bit of each sweet, resulting in a steadily growing package. Lily's eyes went wide, "Are you serious?"

"No, I'm Sirius," the black-haired boy popped up from behind us out of nowhere, causing us to shriek.

"Bloody Hell, Black! I almost dropped my bag!" I cursed, adjusting my grip on the sweets. Sirius raised his eyebrow as he took a peek inside, "Is this the aftermath of a break-up?"

'I wish,' I thought, shaking my head wordlessly whilst the other three Marauders came up, each with a smaller bag of their own in their hands.

"Hm? The time of the month then?" Remus blanched upon hearing his words whilst James and Peter laughed quietly. "Sirius!"

"What? I'm just wondering why she is buying so many sweets just for herself."

"It's not for myself. It's to bribe someone," I said deftly before moving further down the lane to inspect the other sweets.

"You need to bribe someone?" James asked, following me – or rather Lily, who had left with an eyeroll and was staying a few feet away.

"Yep, for a favour."

"Excuse me but I think you will have other possibilities to…persuade someone," James said suggestively (and loudly) and I had almost dropped the bag again.

"Um, what?" I muttered, turning around to face him only to lean back in surprise upon seeing how close he was. He smirked and it looked kind of…off. My eyes flickered towards his friends, who were suspiciously occupied with whatever was in front of them. "Well…in this case it's an old lady, who will probably be more responsive to chocolate than whatever you are suggesting."

"You know exactly what I'm suggesting." I tried to ignore how red my face must have been at this point until he chuckled, scratching the back of his head, "I'm just messing with you, Grant."

I breathed out, slapping his arm and turning away, "Good." Too bad.

"Now, who is the old lady and what favour do you need? Are you trying to bribe McG for a better grade?"

"You say that as if that would actually be possible."

"Touché," James mused, watching me pick some Chocolate Cauldrons as he munched on a toffee, "Who is it then?"

"Madam Pomfrey," I said, seeing no harm in telling him, "For an internship at the Hospital Wing." A choking sound made me turn around towards him, "You alright there, James?"

"Y-yeah," he said, hitting his chest with his fist a few times before he managed to swallow the rest of the sweet, "You-you want to work at the Hospital Wing?"

"Yep. I could use the internship for future applications as a Healer," I explained, shifting the bag on my arm as the other ached, figuring it would be enough for now.

"Um, is that possible?" James wondered, his face unusually pale as he looked back towards his friends, "I didn't know that."

"Yeah, it is possible. My parents were interns during their time here. But ever since First Year, Madam Pomfrey hasn't recruited anyone."

"Is that so?"

"It's so weird, really," I said mindlessly, munching on a Chocolate Frog, "But I'm gonna try anyway."

"Well, good luck with that," James replied with a high-pitched laugh and I looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, "You sure you are alright there?"

"Yes!" the messy-haired boy said quickly before clearing his throat, "And if you want to convince her to take you in, you should add another of the Pixie Puffs. Those are her favourites."

"How do you know that?"

"I have my ways," James winked, dropping a puff into my bag before grabbing it from me, "Come on, I will carry it for you."

"Um, thanks?" I asked more than stated, following him towards the cashier.

"You are very welcome. Hello Evans," James greeted Lily politely, who was waiting for me at cash desk with raised eyebrows.

"Hello…Potter," she said slowly, widening her eyes at me when he had his back turned towards us, standing in the line. 'What's going on?' she mouthed.

'No freaking idea,' I mouthed back before neutralising my expression as the boy with round glasses turned back, "Have you been to the Three Broomsticks, yet?"

"Nope. Later, though first I apparently need a haircut," I answered, sharing a look with Lily.

"Why is that? Your hair is pretty the way it is," James commented, leaning close once again.

"I said 'apparently', Potter," I told him, leaning back once again before gesturing him to move as the line cleared and I was up to pay.

"Good, you don't need it."

"My thoughts exactly!"

James laughed and Lily cleared her throat, catching our attention, "I'm gonna head out and see if Marlene is done. Would you reserve a table at the pub?" I nodded in agreement and she left, not without another look at James. I noticed him watch after her as soon as her back was turned at him, wondering about his weird behaviour.

He stayed quiet whilst I paid for the sweets before handing me the bag. "Well, I'm off to the Shrieking Shack. See ya!" And he left with his friends. Well, that was abrupt.

The next week consisted of classes, me begging Madam Pomfrey for an internship with a new bag of sweets everyday and James somehow hanging around me outside of class and Quidditch practice. It started with him joining me on study sessions in the library and sitting next to me during breakfast, lunch and dinner or asking to sit with him at the fireplace in the Common Room like right now.

I was trudging through the portrait hole with yet another miserable pout as James called out to me loudly, "Grant, come over!"

"Hey James," I sighed as I plopped down on an armchair next to the loveseat he was sprawled all over. He pouted playfully, "I wanted you to sit next to me."

"How?" I asked, trying to gulp inconspicuously at the lazy smile on his face, "Your limbs are in the way."

"There is more than enough space all over me," he said, gesturing towards his body.

I blushed deeply, causing his grin to widen, and cleared my throat. "Honestly, James. What's up with you lately?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've been acting weird, lately," I pondered and watched him shift uncomfortably, "Spending a lot of time with me when we have never talked outside of class and Quidditch before."

"What is weird about trying to get closer to a Quidditch member? It raises the team spirit," James retorted.

"Raise the team spirit?" I repeated with a raised eyebrow, "We have more than enough team spirit. And I don't see you spending that much time around the other members."

"I have priorities," James said.

"What priorities?"

"You, for one," he replied with a grin.

"…Me?"

"Yeah, you," James sat up, leaning forward on his knees, "You are close to becoming Chaser No. 1."

"What do you mean?" I wondered.

"Angie is going to quit after winter break."

"What?"

"Yes," the brown-eyed boy sighed, running a hand through his already messy hair, "She wants to concentrate on her N.E.W.T.s, so she is leaving the team."

"Who is going to be her substitute?"

"Archie Stan."

"Oh, hell no."

"Oh, hell yes."

"James, Archie and I don't get along," I hissed quietly, "We can't play together."

"You will have to. We will integrate him into Team A practice from the next session on," James explained and smiled at my frown, "Come on. It's not going to be so bad. You could try to get along with him."

"It's not my fault. He is the one, who has a problem with me," I complained, crossing my arms, "Trust me, I doubt we are going to harmonise."

"You will, don't worry," James reassured me, placing a hand on my knee. I stilled at his touch, feeling the warmth of his palm through the leggings I was wearing, "I'm the Captain. And as a Captain, I'm also the designated mediator of the team."

"We are doomed then," I said dryly and he gave me a look, causing me to giggle.

"You meanie," he flicked my knee before leaning back against the couch. We talked more about Quidditch, the current league and discussing, which team would win this year until it was well past midnight.

I went to bed that night with a giddy feeling in my chest and I went to bed with a giddy feeling for the next few weeks as the evening talks became somewhat a ritual between James and me. We would talk about mindless things such as Quidditch, classes and even the meaning of life.

This night, I was a bit late after another visit at the Hospital Wing. I had received a letter of my parents today, expressing their disappointment in me not having started that internship, yet. And of course, I got rejected again by Pomfrey again.

"Hey, what's with the long face?" James asked as I arrived in the Common Room.

I merely groaned, dropping face first onto the loveseat. "So, Madam Pomfrey has rejected you once more?" James asked and I groaned again. "Thought so," James added and I merely grumbled.

"I just don't get why she won't take any interns in," I moaned, turning on my back, "She is so busy, I always see more than ten students every day, she obviously needs help."

"Well, maybe that's exactly why. She probably doesn't have the time to instruct someone when she has so much to do."

"I don't need much instructing…" I said and he gave me a look, "What, you know it!"

"True," he said with a wide smile, causing me to return it. He took my hand in his, squeezing it slightly, "Don't worry. I'm sure she will come around soon."

"Maybe…"

"Did she take the bag of sweets again?"

"Of course, she did."

"Dang it, I was looking forward to some Chocolate Balls." I laughed before reaching into my pocket and throwing a ball at him. With his Seeker's instincts he was able to catch it on time before it hit his face, shooting me a mock reprimanding look before unwrapping the sweet. "Are you gonna try again tomorrow?"

"Yeah…but I don't even know why I bother," I sighed, "It's not like I even want an internship that much."

"Then why do you?"

"My parents want me to."

James raised an eyebrow. "They are both Healers."

"Ah, and they want you to become one, too."

"Yep."

"…And what do you want?" he asked quietly, leaning on his knees.

Sighing heavily, I said, "I just want to play for the Montrose Magpies."

"Oh, it's good they are trying to force you to become a Healer then."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm just joking," James laughed, standing up to sit on the carpet in front of me, "You should pursue that possibility though."

"Oh please. The Montrose Magpies are one of the biggest teams in English league- no, you can't convince me otherwise!" I said as he opened his mouth to protest, "They would never take someone from a school's team."

"Of course, they wouldn't," he agreed, grinning when I pouted, "But you can start with a smaller team. You know, recruiters always come to watch the second leg of the Quidditch games at spring every year. You might catch someone's eye."

"They only look for Seventh Years," I pointed out.

"Well, obviously they don't want to be responsible for students dropping out of school," James said with a 'duh' tone, "But it's a possibility for next year.

And whilst waiting for that you can continue trying for that internship."

"You mean pursue both careers?"

"Exactly. Why do you make a choice now what to do in the future when you don't have to, yet?" James reasoned, "You should open as many doors for you as you can and then make a choice when you have to." I stared at the boy in front of me, watching the light of the fire flicker over his face. I had never found anyone as attractive as him in that moment.

"James, that's the smartest thing anyone has ever said to me and Professor Dumbledore has taught us for one class when McGonagall was sick for a week." The dark-haired boy threw his head back, laughing and I was almost mesmerised by the twinkle in his chocolate brown eyes. I shook my head slightly, looking away for a second before I gave him a warm smile, "Thank you, James."

He nodded, waving his hand dismissively, "Don't mention it."

"I'm serious- don't go there," I warned him as he tried to jump on the pun, "That was a really good advice. Where did that even come from?"

James shrugged with an almost shy look, "My dad is pretty cool, I guess." I laughed. "He told me somewhat the same when I was telling him that I couldn't choose between Quidditch and Auror training."

"Your dad is a wise man."

"He sure is." I smiled, later wondering how long we had sat that night simply staring at each other.

Chapter Three

[angelkurenai]

Imagine going hiking and Dean accidently hearing you sing to the mountains, and he's desperate to find an owner to such beautiful voice.

“If you ask me, it's rather obvious what we're dealing here with and it won't take much time. But it's always to be better safe than sorry, so I'm thinking we should head once more to-” Sam's rambling was cut short as he looked up from his small notebook only to realize his brother wasn't paying the slightest attention to him “Dean?” he asked without really expecting, or getting, a reaction.

And as if that wasn't enough, he didn't seem to be willing to hide it in the least bit, his eyes trained on his food with a deep frown set on his face as he played around with it. It was that exact fact, and the one that most of his plate was still full which was very concerning if Sam took into consideration that this was his brother that wasn't eating, besides the lack of concentration or talking from his part that prevented Sam from teasing him or even trying to act angry at his brother's clear lack of interest in the case, or anything else if he really thought about it.

“Dean?” he tried to insist once more without much result.

“Dean!” this time it got his brother to blink his eyes several times and get back to reality and Sam didn't know whether it was the tone in his voice or the fact that he had to snap his finger's in front of Dean's face. So long as it got the job done.

“Wh- huh what?” Dean frowned at his brother, voice more gruff than it should be and Sam assumed that the lack of sleep was showing on both his face and voice now.

“I-” he parted his lips but stopped himself from saying anything for a couple seconds “Are you ok, Dean? You've been a little off almost ever since last night. You got... lost in the woods and after I found you, you've been acting... weird.”

“Look-” Dean sighed a little agitated “If you wanna test me, I'm right here, do your thing. But as I told you last night and this morning, at least three times, I have not been abducted or possessed or enchanted or anything. Not in a supernatural way at least.” again another sigh as he looked away “Don't give me that look, ok? It's annoying. Besides, I told you, I got a little distracted yesterday but that's al-”

“Distracted?” Sam raised an eyebrow “You got distracted in the freaking mountains? By what? The shape of the rocks?”

“I mean-” he paused, shrugging almost childishly and definitely unconvincingly in a way he did more often than not when there was something that he was hiding Sam, something not life threatening or dangerous, and that made Sam relax a bit more “Rocks are pretty interesting dude.” and that, they both knew, was his lamest excuse that Sam found himself relaxing a lot more to the point he chuckled.

“Wow that's-” Sam blinked several times “That's too much, even for you. No, seriously, are you going to tell me what it was? Because I know real well I was the only one looking for our monster on that mountain but you had not been busy admiring rocks.”

“What are you gonna start judging my hobbies now? It's so bad, all of a sudden, that I find new interests but you can have any nerdy hobby you want in this family?” Dean fended himself weakly, apparently, because of the loo Sam gave him. That made Dean sigh and roll his eyes. “Look, it was nothing dude. It's hard to explain, yes, but I'm completely fine and I am completely me. Just drop it, alright? Get back on the case and rambling, I'll try to keep up and get back on track soon.” hard to explain didn't even begin to cover it in his mind, mostly because it wasn't all easy to explain with logic and therefore his mind wasn't the only player in this game; it was his heart too.

How could he even begin to explain to Sam that he had gotten so distracted by someone singing? How could he even begin to describe that he had really been that enchanted, that mystified, but it was really not in a supernatural way? He couldn't say that he had gotten carried away listening to the woman, it was clearly a female voice, sing so beautifully he had almost forgotten his name, not to mention the reason why he was in the mountains to begin with. He couldn't say that he had even dreamed of said voice, singing to him the same song he had heard yesterday in the mountains and could clearly remember the lyrics to even now. Maybe also because he had looked for it up, though he would never admit to it, just like he wouldn't admit that he hadn't fund any of the singers (covers or not) to be able to match up to the voice he heard.

All the shine of a thousand spotlights All the stars we steal from the nightsky Will never be enough Never be enough Towers of gold are still too little These hands could hold the world but it'll Never be enough Never be enough

It was his favorite part and he couldn't even believe he had a favorite part.

He couldn't admit that he had been trying to put a face to that voice so bad, he couldn't admit that he had been wondering and needing and aching to hear more of the singing, more of the voice, in the same and different songs. He couldn't admit that he had felt all the things he did just by hearing a song, he couldn't admit that the emotion put in the lyrics by the singer had also affected him this much. He couldn't admit that the reason he had been late and that had made Sam look for him, thinking he had been lost or worse, was because Dean had spent all that time looking for the person behind the voice. He could feel the heat of the blush down to his neck at the thought that it looked like something out of the cheesiest fairytale but it had been true, more true than he too could believe, and so were his feelings so he could defend them if need be. But he wasn't looking for an excuse for that.

Besides, he felt moody enough – and disappointed – this morning that he didn't feel up to explaining everything to his brother.

“Right now, I'm just sleepy that's all.” he mumbled, slightly as an afterthought but mostly to try to keep himself focused “Seems I-” he paused briefly, looking around the cafe and pursing his lips in a way that showed his displeasure “Haven't had my coffee yet. Or enough of it.”

Big mistake, because the moment his stopped their path around the small cafe and landed back on his brother, he saw the realization dawn on him. His eyebrows raise slightly and if it wasn't for the knowing quirk of his lips and the relaxed expression on both his body and face he might have thought for just a second that he was off the hook. Clearly, he wasn't.

“So that's what it is huh?” Sam asked before shaking his head with a laugh. He didn't know, of course, but that was no better yet. Because he didn't know the one reason out of the two to his lack of focus. “You like her that much huh?”

“What?” he said it through a mouthful that he took a little too fast to avoid looking at his brother but oh well. His brother figured one of the two reasons in 0.5 seconds so any effort would be in vain.

As long as he didn't know how saddened he was by

“You know what.” the smile on Sam's lips only got bigger “That waitress we met two days ago, the one that works here and the reason why you're here for everyday ever since. And don't try to deny it, you're terrible at it today.” he crossed his arms over his chest and looked at him despite Dean's best (read: worst) effort to avoid eye-contact and give anything away by eating as much as he could.

“I really don't get what you're trying to say, Sam. I mean-” he laughed, nervously, as he tried to swallow over his food because of the look his brother gave him “I haven't even managed to look up from my plate. How could I have noticed (Y/n)'s not here this morning even though her shift has supposedly started half an hour ago? I haven't-” but Dean paused when he noticed the surprise on Sam's face and realized his mistake.

“Honestly?” Sam tried to keep himself from laughing but as expected failed “It's really best if you eat instead of speak. Wow.” he blinked, shaking his head “Well, at least that explains it.”

Dean's lips parted as he prepared to speak back and defend at least what was left of his dignity but then all words died out in his lips when he heard the small laugh next to him that he knew all-too-well and that he would have been too embarrassed to hear in such a situation so close, especially after what had been said, but he was too relieved to care about that. Besides, he was going to make Sam pay for it by, oh let's say, ask him to stay a day or two or ten after the case was over as a favor for all this.

“Honestly if I had known I'd be this sought after I might have asked for a raise sooner.” he heard your voice and noticed you filling up his cup before he looked up to see you there and felt his smile become ten times bigger when he saw you looking at him with a soft smile of yours “Hey Dean.” he took great pleasure in the few seconds of you just focusing on him until Sam cleared his throat and you snapped out of it and smiled, albeit a little apologetically, at Sam “Hello Sam.”

“Good morning, (Y/n). Seems like you've been running a bit late today according to my brother here, everything alright?”

“Oh absolutely fine, it's just that some mornings I tend to help in the kitchen when the cook's running late you see.” you explained “I hope everything is to your liking so far?” you asked but your eyes once more trailed to Dean and with a smile on his face Sam nodded his head with a hum.

“Just great, though I think the company is not to someone's preference today. I might have to leave early, visit the library and all, you think you can keep Dean some company?” he asked so innocently, yet not to Dean who knew him, which only made the older Winchester's head snap in his direction faster than ever before; eyes wide in horror.

“Oh I'm sure I could spend my break with him, no problem, though it might be quick. We have the weekly karaoke night tonight so I might have some extra work to do. If that's alright?” you asked hopefully.

“Karaoke night? Didn't know you had that.” Dean blinked and you nodded your head.

“Yeah, the cafe obviously works at night and we make sure to organize karaokes and parties at least three times a week. This month boss is more busy so we're down to once a week but that doesn't stop me or any of the customers from taking over the stage till the early morning. You could-” you paused to glance at a couple who asked to pay at a table nearby and gave them a nod “You could always come by then too? If you're free.” you suggested softly and Dean didn't even hesitate to give a nod which made you beam at him.

“Lovely.” you said “If you'll excuse me for a second, I got work to do but I'll be right back. And if you need anything else just ask.”

“Well that went better than you could have expected or achieved on your own to be honest. So-” Sam paused to give his brother a smile “Your welcome.”

“Better? Oh really? Why didn't you tell her 'Hey (Y/n) my brother's an idiot and too much of a coward to ask you out, why don't you do it yourself?' huh? That would have been less desperate.” Dean only glared.

“Alright, I'll try that next time.” Sam simply shrugged, focusing back on his noted before Dean had the chance to say anything else. The older Winchester only rolled his eyes and with a shake of his head and feeling much more light went to actually eating an enjoying his food.

Without the distraction of his thoughts and worries about your absence he could admit it was much easier. Certainly, there was always the mystery girl in his mind and her signing that he couldn't get over much as he tried but it wasn't as if he could do anything about it anymore. Miracles didn't happen and it was already very close to that that you had agreed to spend your break with him like in a date, alright he hoped it was like that and that was maybe an even greater miracle than finding the owner of the voice. He couldn't just walk around the town looking for her nor could sit here and expect her to start singing out of nowh-

His thoughts – and he was pretty sure, breathing and entire fuctioning-like-a-human-being – came to a startling halt when he heard it. First a very low murmur but then sure some words, a tune, lyrics to a song with a voice and tone he recognized all too well... he realized like a fool from two places. The mountain and this very cafe.

Slowly but also with a sort of giddiness he couldn't explain, he turned in his seat to look behind him in the direction from which the singing was coming from and he wasn't surprised, only because he really felt in shock anymore, to realize that it was coming from your direction and even more specifically from you. You were singing and you were singing that very same song in the very same way as you were cleaning the table after the couple had left.

“Never enough”

Well, maybe miracles did happen.

[doyumacy]

𝘫𝘢𝘯𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶

𝙟𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙬𝙤𝙤 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

𝙜𝙞𝙛 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙚

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: 𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙪𝙖𝙜𝙚, 𝙖𝙡𝙘𝙤𝙝𝙤𝙡 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣, 𝙖 𝙗𝙞𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙜𝙤𝙧𝙚 (𝙣𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙗𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜), 𝙨𝙚𝙭𝙪𝙖𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙨 (𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙨𝙢𝙪𝙩)

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 7𝙠

𝙄 𝙨𝙖𝙬 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙤𝙥𝙚𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙝𝙤𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙄 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙖 𝙟𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙬𝙤𝙤 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙨𝙩. 𝙋𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜. 𝙎𝙖𝙙. 𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩. 𝘽𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧 𝙞𝙩. 𝙃𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙙𝙖𝙮:’)

𝘫𝘢𝘯𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶

𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘯, 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘥

𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘺 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘺

january 9th 20XX

it's the day you met jungwoo and you have longed for snowflakes ever since.

you two have known each other for 6 years, after you moved houses when you were 15 and jungwoo was 16. and you think you've been in love with him for all 6.

january 19th present day

it’s the day you confessed your feelings to him and since that day, things haven't been the same.

(...)

so here you are, 21 now, on his bed listening to the older beg you to go out for drinks with their friends.

“baby cheeks, please! it won’t be any fun without you!,” he pouts.

baby cheeks. you love the nickname he gave you time ago. and you can't say no when he pouts.

“okay, okay. i’ll come if you shut up,” you comply.

a small, fond smile passing over his face as he ruffles your hair. "awesome! tonight’s going to be so much fun! i'm gonna text heejin you're coming. ” he grabs his phone

you frown. "who's heejin?"

"oh, didn't i tell you about her?" jungwoo asks, typing on his phone. you shake your head. "she's my... girlfriend-to-be?"

that hurt. you feel your heart drop.

"i didn't know you had a girlfriend," you almost choke on the words.

"we're not dating officially yet, but she will be," he smiles. "you're gonna love her and she's excited to meet you."

forcing yourself to smile even wider, you think you feel something crack as you say, "i'm so happy for you! and yeah, i'd love to meet her."

(...)

heejin laughs, separating herself from jungwoo and looping her arm through yours. "i like you. i have a feeling we're going to be good friends."

you groan to yourself. why do you have to be nice? why can't you be mean and bratty?

you're at the local bar you always go to with jungwoo and your friends sooyoung, yuta, jaehyun and donghyuck. and his soon-to-be girlfriend heejin. you aren't sure how much longer you can go without tearing up, so you excuse yourself and go to the restroom. you haven't told anyone about it, not even sooyoung who you've known since you were 6. sliding down the wall, you bury your face in your knees and take deep breaths until you can't fight it anymore. letting the sobs take over, you aren't sure how long you can sit there, but it feels like hours.

by the time you calm down, you decide you can't face jungwoo again and leave the restroom without being noticed. you text him telling him you felt sick and you need to go to your place.

when you arrive at your place, you take a look at yourself: puffy eyes, red eyes and messed up hair. you go into your room, lying on your bed and staring at the ceiling until you fall asleep.

after waking up, you check your phone and find 8 texts, 5 from jungwoo asking if you felt better.

ɪ ᴛᴏᴏᴋ ᴀ ɴᴀᴘ. ɪ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ɴᴏᴡ.

ᴊᴡᴏᴏ🐶✨: ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ ᴏᴠᴇʀ?

ɴᴏ, ɪᴛ'ꜱ ꜰɪɴᴇ. ɪ'ʟʟ ꜱᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏᴍᴏʀʀᴏᴡ.

ᴊᴡᴏᴏ🐶✨: ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴜʀᴇ? :(

ʏᴇᴀʜ ɪ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ꜱʟᴇᴇᴘ ᴍᴏʀᴇ.

ʙᴇꜱɪᴅᴇꜱ, ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ɢꜰ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ᴏꜰ ɴᴏᴡ? ʟᴍᴀᴏ

ᴊᴡᴏᴏ🐶✨: ᴏᴋᴀʏ ᴛʜᴇɴ ꜱʟᴇᴇᴘ. ɪ'ʟʟ ꜱᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴀᴛᴇʀ

ᴊᴡᴏᴏ🐶✨: ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ ᴅᴏᴇꜱɴ'ᴛ ᴍᴀᴛᴛᴇʀ ɪꜰ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ɢꜰ ɴᴏᴡ. ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴍʏ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ ɪ'ʟʟ ꜱᴛɪʟʟ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ɪᴛ...

you shut off your phone and bury your face in your pillow. why is this so hard? you need to get over him.

jungwoo is an engineering major student and is in his final year, while you're a political science student.

on monday, you show up to your administrative law class and sit next to jaehyun who is majoring in the same thing as you. he gives you a look. "you don't look sick."

you glance at him and shrug. "meds were invented for something."

jaehyun tilts his head, looking at you. "is your disease called perhaps 'jungwoo having a girlfriend'?"

you roll your eyes. "i don't give a shit about his soon-to-be girlfriend."

"not his soon-to-be girlfriend. they went official yesterday," jaehyun opens his instagram app and shows you a pic jungwoo posted with her.

you feel sick again and you can feel your heart breaking into million pieces. you put on your fakest smile. "i'm happy for him, she's nice."

jaehyun places a hand on your back. "you're a terrible liar. thank god you're majoring in political science because you would starve being an actress."

you laugh, holding your tears up. "shut up, i don't wanna cry in the middle of the classroom."

he sighs and starts rubbing your back gently with the palm of his hand. "if you need a shoulder to cry on, i happen to have two."

after the class is done, you and jaehyun go to his car where you cry like a mad person. he doesn't say a single word, doesn't make a single noise, as you cry on his shoulder. he wraps his arms around you.

“why am i not good enough?” your head whips upwards, eyes dripping eyeliner and bloodshot. jaehyun stares.

“hey, no. you’re good enough. you're way too good–” he tries rattling off more but you furiously shake your head, hands moving to cling onto his shirt front. the watery, red eyes stare up at jaehyun and he can feel the pain in them so much that his chest aches.

“he'll never look at me the way i do,” you manage, your voice low, raising to a wracking sob, and then ending in a gasping breath. you drop your face into his chest.

“trust me, you’re not the problem. he is just... blind.”

"yeah, sure.” you lean back and start wiping your own face with both hands. “i've fucked guys to get him out of my mind but i can't.”

he sighs. "yeah. i get you."

you look at him. "who is it?"

he glances at you, doubtful. "sooyoung."

you cry again. because he understands how you feel. sooyoung is your best friend, therefore you know everything about her and you know she will never be interested in jaehyun.

he laughs watching you cry because he knows you have stopped crying over jungwoo. he throws gently your hair over your shoulder. "we're not a lost cause. we can still meet someone that erases our feelings for them."

"i've been in love with him for 6 years," you sigh and lower your head. "i wanna hate him but i can't."

"you'll be okay," he plants a kiss on your forehead.

"i wish i was in love with you," you say.

he chuckles. "we'd be so chaotic. c'mon, let's have lunch. it's on me."

jungwoo enters the cafeteria holding hands with heejin. as they're finding a clear table, he spots you having lunch with jaehyun. nothing weird, you two met through him and are friends.

as he's walking with heejin towards where you are with jaehyun, he feels a weird feeling when jaehyun leans too close to you to remove something from your face. you laugh at something he says and jaehyun ruffles your hair like he does. a pinch to his stomach. that is what he feels.

that is when jungwoo realizes he doesn't like sharing, especially the thing he loves the most. you. his best friend.

"why can't we sit just the two of us?" heejin pouts. "i didn't get to see you today all morning."

jungwoo shakes his head and looks at his girlfriend. she's right. "okay. let's find a table."

they pass next to jaehyun and you and they greet you waving their hands off. you fake a smile to them and when they're far enough, you roll your eyes. "does it make me a bad person that i wanna punch them in the face?"

jaehyun shrugs. "i wanted to punch johhny everyday when he was dating sooyoung."

"i guess we're bad people," you scrunch your nose and jaehyun chuckles.

ʏɴᴋᴍᴏᴛᴏ😺: ʏᴏ ɢᴜʏꜱ ɪᴛ'ꜱ ꜰʀɪᴅᴀʏ ɴɪɢʜᴛ, ᴀʀᴇ ᴜ ꜰʀᴇᴇ?

ᴊᴀᴇᴊᴀᴇ🤠: ʏᴇᴀʜ

ᴊᴡᴏᴏ🐶✨: ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ. ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍʏ ɢɪʀʟ

ʜʏᴜᴄᴋ☀️: ᴇᴡ. ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴀᴍ ꜰʀᴇᴇ

ꜱᴏᴏ😻: ʏᴜᴘ. ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʟᴀɴ?

ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴅᴇᴘᴇɴᴅɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴜ ꜱᴀʏ

ʏɴᴋᴍᴏᴛᴏ😺: ᴜ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇᴡ ʙᴀʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴏᴘᴇɴᴇᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ 3 ᴡᴇᴇᴋꜱ ᴀɢᴏ? ᴡᴇʟ��, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ'ꜱ ᴀ ᴡᴇʟʟ ᴋɴᴏᴡɴ ᴅᴊ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ɢᴏᴛ ᴜꜱ ɪɴ.

ʜʏᴜᴄᴋ☀️: ᴅᴜᴅᴇ ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴋɪꜱꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ɴᴏᴡ ᴏᴍꜰɢ

ꜱᴏᴏ😻: ʜᴏʟʏ ꜱʜɪᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏᴏ. ɪᴍ ᴅᴏᴡɴ

ꜱʜɪᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏᴏ. ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴡᴀꜱᴛᴇᴇᴇᴇᴇᴇᴅ

ᴊᴀᴇᴊᴀᴇ🤠: ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴜ ʏᴜᴛᴀ

ᴊᴡᴏᴏ🐶✨:  ɢᴜʏꜱ :/

ʜʏᴜᴄᴋ☀️: ꜱʜᴜᴛ ᴜᴘ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴜʀɴ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴀ ʙᴏʀɪɴɢ ɢʀᴀɴᴅᴘᴀ ꜱɪɴᴄᴇ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴅᴀᴛɪɴɢ ʜᴇᴇᴊɪɴ

ʟᴏʟ. ᴀɴʏᴡᴀʏꜱ, ᴀᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴅᴏ ᴡᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅʏ?

ʏɴᴋᴍᴏᴛᴏ😺: 9 ᴘᴍ !!!

heejin ends up cancelling her movie date with jungwoo since she was feeling a bit under the weather. jungwoo, after spending an amount of time with her, he decides to leave so she can rest and drive to the club where his friends and you are.

january 19th present day

it's midnight already but he thinks he can still have fun.

walking into the bar dressed down in jeans and a white shirt he has certainly not expected you to be dancing on a table in a mini skirt.

you are shrieking out the lyrics to ‘gimme more’ by britney spears dancing in high heels dangerously on a wobbly table. for a moment all jungwoo can do is stare in astonishment at the sight. he knows that you are drunk. wasted.

there are boys below cheering you on and smacking your ass. he looks for his friends and he sees them in a worse state than you. jaehyun takes sooyoung in his arms and looks at him. "take care of y/n?"

he nods. jungwoo needs to take you out of here.

“y/n!” jungwoo calls out, not wanting any of these idiots to know your name.

you obviously don't hear him. so pushing himself through the crowd calls out again.

“y/n! for god’s sake get down!” he shouts.

“hellosir,” you slur obviously drunk

“hey move over!” one of the older men tries to shove him over but he doesn't budge

“y/n let me take you home.”

“why would i want to go home, when i’m having so much fun here? come up here and help me dance.” you grab his shirt and pull him up to you pulling him closer.

“y/n…” he stiffens not wanting to know what on earth is going through your head

“have a bit of fun!” pulling him closer he notices what you are wearing.

of rather what you aren't really wearing. a sweater with just two bottoms, one of them slightly open and he can see your stomach and your spilling out breasts and your skirt is so short it only just covers your ass showing off your long legs. and your heels are ridiculously high making you just as tall as him.

“y/n just come with me.”

suddenly you place your hands on his shoulder and kiss his lips, leading cheers from the whole crowd. jungwoo hears some murmuring going on.

“god she would be good to fuck.” his inner voice is growling at them

but right now he is more worried about what you are doing.

“hey move over!”

“yeah let us have our share!” the calls from the crowd really makes him growl this time

“no one touches her.” his voice is dangerously low only making a few of them back away.

suddenly one of the bigger men comes out.

“let us have her or you’re going to regret it.” he commands trying to grab a reeling you from his clasp

“not going to happen. move away so i can take her home.” he tries to steady you who is trying to stand up

suddenly he is in the middle of a fight. This person is pretty pathetic just lashing out, no style, no training. it doesn't take much before he is on the ground his nose bleeding gushing out some pretty nasty bruises all over him. looking up in horror he backs away.

“anyone else want to try?” jungwoo growls down low seeing terror in everyone’s eyes there is no scratch on him, no bruises, no nothing.

seeing that no one else is going to try and put his grubby hands on you, he bends down and picks you up in his arms and walks out. he is half-way to his car when you start talking at first nonsense but something makes him stop.

“that’s why i love you, jungwoo.” he hears  you mumble.

he feels numb not knowing what to think. he wants to believe that it is just the alcohol.

“drunk confessions are something i could do without.” jungwoo mumbles gently, putting you into the back of the car strapping you in and driving as fast as he dares to get your apartment. as soon as he gets there he notices that you are barely awake still mumbling nonsense about jimmy fallon looking hot? he laughs.

carrying you to your apartment, he decided just to put you into bed with a bucket by your side. jungwoo slips you under the covers hoping that you will be warm enough.

“i sometimes dont think youre real, you're so handsome and i love you and i can't believe you're da-” you never finish your drunk sentence vomiting into the bucket that jungwoo grabbed.

he runs to you and holds your hair in a bun. after a few thrusts, you finish throwing up and throw yourself to the bed, laying on your back. jungwoo sighs. “i’ll get you some water, okay?”

you nod, almost falling asleep. jungwoo goes to the kitchen and grabs a glass pouring some water on it. he returns to your room just to find you sleeping. he leaves the glass on your  nightstand because he's sure you're gonna wake up sometime during what's night thirsty.

jungwoo is about to leave your room when you sit on your bed. he leans against the doorframe and looks at you, almost laughing. “what's up with you?”

you pout. “jungwoo”

“what do you need?” he walks to you.

“you. i love you.”

“i know. i love you, too, baby cheeks.”

“no,” you groan and grab his shirt. “i love you. romantically. i’m truly, madly and deeply in love with you.”

jungwoo sighs and removes your hand from his shirt. “no, you don't y/n. go to sleep.”

“i am in love with you, jungwoo,” you cry, wrapping your arms around his waist. “i have always been in love with you. can i kiss you? please.”

jungwoo closes his eyes and yanks himself off free. “i’m sorry, y/n. i’m with heejin now. respect that.”

“fuck her,” you growl. “she doest deserve you. i do. fuck her.”

“y/n…”

“fine. go with her. fuck you two.”

“you know it doesn't have to be this way,” jungwoo looks at you.

“get out!” you throw him a pillow he manages to dolge. “get the fuck out!”

as expected, you do remember everything that happened last night. you know you fucked up by telling jungwoo your feelings towards him and you confirm he has never and will never have feelings for you.

you cry when you take a shower, having a really bad headache and your heartbroken. you don't know what to do to fix things. you know it will never be the same again.

"i thought you might need this.” jaehyun comes walking through holding a glass of water and an aspirin.

you're at jaehyun's apartment. his roommate sicheng is out to get some groceries. you sit up. "will this erase my memory?" you take the glass and the aspirin.

"i don't think so," he scrunches his nose.

you sigh and take the medicine. "why did you even let him take me home? i was a threat."

"sooyoung was in a worse state than you, yuta was hooking up with some girl in the restroom and donghyuck was high as hell," he sits next to you.

"i thought he wasn't going to go," you groan.

"so did i," he puts an arm on the sofa's back. "at least he knows how you feel."

"like it's worth it," you rest your head on his shoulder. "i wanna cry again but i cried the whole morning and my head is killing me."

"i'll tell you what," he leans forward and looks at you. "we're gonna forget sooyoung and jungwoo. we need to move on, we have no hope with them. why do we need to be the ones crying over them?"

you bite your lip and nod. he's right. fuck them.

you don't know when it happens, but at some point jungwoo has stopped talking to you and the rest of the guys. he’s always with heejin, doing this and doing that. always excusing himself saying he has no time and he's busy with college and his girlfriend. you text him but never get a reply. there's a time when your messages don't get delivered and you can tell he has blocked you.

great. thanks for nothing. you think.

on the other hand, jaehyun and you grow closer. you're always at his place or he's always at yours.

it's been months since the last time you and jungwoo talked. he seems happy with heejin and they are always together. you’re still in love with jungwoo, but you’re doing your best to move on.

it’s clear to you jungwoo don't wanna be your friend anymore and it hurts you the way he just disappeared from your life. after many years of friendship.

by summer, everyone leaves on vacation but you stay since your parents decide to go on a cruise to celebrate their 23rd anniversary and you’re happy they can take time to spend time together. and you wish you can ever have that.

jaehyun comes back from paris and he’s eager to see you. and so are you. after he planes land in town, he takes a cab to your place and the moment you open the door, he hugs you and lifts you up.

"bon retour," you tease, hugging him.

he chuckles and kisses your cheek. "god, i just wanted the plane to land so i could see you."

"it seems to me you missed me," you say and you shut the door.

"i did," he nods and places his backpack next to the door. "how are you?"

"i'm great, i'm getting a jump on next semester's work," you smile. "you want something to drink or eat?"

"that's good," he smiles back at you. "i was actually thinking of taking you out."

you cock an eyebrow. "taking me out?"

he nods and giggles nervously. "i uhm... want to talk to you about something."

you know what he is going to say. you want it too. but you thought you were just being delusional. turns out you're not.

"okay... then i'm gonna put on decent clothes," you smirk.

"i'll wait... here," he points out your couch.

he doesn't know why he's feeling nervous. maybe because you might say no and he can't get his heartbroken again. but he's gonna take the chance again.

you take a deep breath and check your reflection for the last more time. you look good. you run your fingers through your hair and pull it into a loose ponytail, just enough to keep it out of your eyes.

“this place is amazing,” you marvel at the subtle beauty of the room.

jaehyun smirks. "i wanted to bring you here before, but school was kicking our butts."

“and then you left to paris,” you say, scooping up a bit of a vegetable and chewing delightedly.

“yeah i know, but i did miss you so bad,” he pouts.

"a month without me, that's what it causes," you shrug, smiling.

he chuckles, nodding. then he goes quiet for almost a minute. "i… the real reason why i brought you here is to confess something.”

you look at him. jaehyun tries to slow his racing heart and looks you in the eye. “i don't know how it happened, but i haven’t been able to get you off my mind." your cheeks turn pink. “i know saying this will probably ruin our friendship, but i wanted to say I love you, y/n." he exhales heavily and waits for you to say something.

you already knew it, but still, your jaw drops and your face flushes pinker than a rose. “do you mean it?”you whisper. jaehyun nods and takes your hand in his own. “with all your heart?”

“with all my heart.”

you sigh and rest your forehead against his. "i love you, too."

"ew, you two are being gross right now. get a room," donghyuck says as you and jaehyun share a kiss.

you return the favour with your middle finger. donghyuck laughs. "the library has a nice spot where you two can fuck, you know?"

"hyuck, go away," jaehyun groans.

"fine, as if i want to see you two making out," donghyuck stands up. "ooo, jungwoo's coming. bye."

he flees the scene leaving you two alone with jungwoo walking surprisingly alone. your heart skips a beat for a minute and you wish he could greet you, at least give you a smile but he ignores you two when he passes next to your table.

asshole.

it's true. you have been with jaehyun for a month but it doesn't mean you don't love jungwoo anymore. in fact, you still wish he loved you back.

jaehyun sighs, placing his hands on his tights. he knows it's hard for you but sometimes he wishes you weren't that obvious.

you stare at him. "sorry."

"it's okay," he gives you a gentle smile. "we should go, we have class in 10 minutes."

you whine. "i hate finances."

"so do i. cmon, baby," he takes your hand standing up.

jungwoo has pretty much everything he always wanted. rich, attending one of the greatest universities so close to graduate and currently top of his class in rankings. still, life had been hard on him recently. it all started when you confessed your feelings to him. why did his heart start jumping like a middle school boy?

jungwoo knows he's a total dickhead. you confessed him your feelings and he just ran away as if you have confessed you committed a murder. the idea of you two together showed up in his mind and his heart melted. why? he didn't understand and he didn't want to.

but he got scared. he never thought of you like that and got even more scared because he didn't mind it at all.

no. he’s in love with heejin. he loves heejin. they have been together for 8 months now and he's the happiest he's ever been.

right? of course..

then why seeing you with jaehyun makes him so angry? and why does he want to punch him when he kisses you?

he groans to himself. he's being ridiculous.

you can date whoever you want to. he doesn't care.

(...)

“i don't understand why you are being a bitch to me,” you frown, looking at sooyoung.

“maybe because you are a bitch,” she states, placing her hands on her waist.

“excuse me? what did i even do to you to speak to me like that?”

“you know jaehyun was into me, and yet you're dating him!” sooyoung crosses her arms on her chest.

you tilt your head in surprise. “you didn't even like him!”

“i didn't back then, but i do now!”

you're speechless. you know sooyoung can be sometimes selfish, but this time she reached a new type of selfishness. it’s not fair.

“are you even listening to yourself?” you give her a questioning look. “you rejected him many times, breaking his heart and now he has finally moved on, you suddenly like him? you’re incredible, sooyoung.”

“no. this is what you do, y/n.” she laughs, bitterly. “you jump from guy to guy trying to call their attention and this time you couldn't get jungwoo you got into jaehyun’s pants. have some loveself. please.”

“fuck you, sooyoung.” you stare at her. “i’m so glad you never got together because you would’ve ruined him.”

“you bitch,” sooyoung throws herself to you, pulling your hair.

“sooyoung!” you bark out, trying to pull her away from you, but she grabs your jaw squeezing it. “fuck off!”

“i fucking hate you, you stupid bitch!” she slaps you in the face.

“back the fuck off, sooyoung,” you hiss, pushing her away.

“you always play the victim when you're nothing but an asshole!” she pushes you.

“stop. i don't wanna hurt you,” you warn her.

she laughs. “please. you’re nothing.”

sooyoung approaches you and pushes you again. “whore.”

you press your lips together, trying to keep your shit together. she pushes you again, making you stumble. that's it. you've lost your patience. you punch her in the nose. sooyoung growls and reaches up her hand to catch a few drops of blood. “youre a fucking animal.”

“i warned you,” you look at her.

jaehyun and yuta who are approaching you two see the scene and run towards you.

then, you feel sooyoung’s fist in your lips. it hurt a lot. soon you have blood dripping from it. you're about to throw a second punch when you feel someone’s arm wrapping around your waist. “that’s enough, y/n.”

it’s jaehyun. you see yuta taking sooyoung away, kicking in the air. you don't realise your jaw is clenched until you exhale heavily. when you're calmed, jaehyun yanks yourself free and you turn around. you sigh and lower your head, ashamed. “i’m sorry you had to see that.”

“what the hell was that, y/n? you assaulted, sooyoung.” he stares at you.

you open your mouth, almost choking on your words. “i did not! i begged her to step back and she pushed me. twice!”

“you literally behaved like a prostitute.” he shakes his head. “i really hope she's okay.”

“fuck you, jaehyun,” you push him. “why don't you go and make sure she's okay?”

“i will,” he looks at you and walks away.

maybe punching sooyoung is not the way to find a solution, but you dont regret it. she deserved it. but because of that, jaehyun is upset at you and you don't understand why. he should be the one upset at sooyoung, but he doesn't know all the crap she talked about you and jaehyun. he didn't even let you explain.

the next day you call jaehyun and he shows up at your place. you hug him, to which he doesn't hug you back. he is still mad.

“i’m sorry,” you sigh. “how many times do i need to apologise?”

he doesn't say anything. he just stares and stares at you. you notice his eyes are watering. “what's wrong?”

“i slept with sooyoung.”

you cry.

you cry again. he tries to apologise and hugs you but you can't see him. you push him out of your place and you don't want to see him again.

ever.

everything in your life is going down. your grades have gotten worse. sooyoung made sure yuta won't talk to you again. jaehyun cheated on you and. donghyuck is too busy with the hockey team. jungwoo doest even remember your existence.  

fuck.

a fews days later, you wake up feeling sore. very sore. and with the worst hangover you've ever had. you roll on the bed and you startle when you see a black haired man next to you. this is not your bed and this is definitely your room.

you're naked beneath the sheets and your curse at yourself.

fuck fuck fuck. that's why youre feeling sore.

you get up from the bed and get dressed and leave the stranger’s apartament. what was his name? john? joe? fuck. you don't remember.

you fucked with someone else and you don't even remember his name. you do remember how it happened: you were dancing and drinking alone. that's pretty much what you have been doing the past two weekends.

you don't even know in which part of the city you are. your phone’s dead. you sigh, defeated. you're gonna walk to the closest metro station.

people stare at you and you can tell they know about your whereabouts last night. you don't give a shit.

january 9th. present day.

it's been 7 years since you met jungwoo. but this year is different. hes not around. none of your friends are around.

you wake up hungover, again as you've been doing for months in someone’s bed. you turn and see the handsome jackson wang sleeping peacefully. you usually don't repeat one night stands, but you do an exception with him since he always fucks you senseless making you forget everything. and everyone.

no feelings involved and you're okay with it. the last thing you need is to get your heart broken again.

you get up, stretching your body. you get dressed and when you're about to leave, you see jackson leaning against the headboard. hes awake. “you always leave without saying goodbye. i feel used.”

“i use you,” you smirk.

he smiles and puts his arm on the back of his head. “will i see you tonight?”

“yeah,” you grab your jacket. “see you later.”

he nods. you leave his place. when you arrive at your place, check your mail and see a letter from your university. you open it up and your mouth drops to the floor. you will be expelled if you don't improve your grades.

your parents will kill you if they find out about this.

so the next morning, you’re on your way to the campus offices. at the door entrance, you run into jungwoo. he greets you with a shy smile and opens the door for you. you thank him. as you two wait to be attended, you pretend youre reading a magazine and he's scrolling on his phone, looking at nothing.

they call your name and you walk to the front desk. “mr. kang can't see you right now, but he told me that the letter pretty much says your situation. if you don't get your grades up you will be expelled and wont graduate this summer.”

you sigh. “how am i supposed to get my grades up in 5 months?”

the lady at the front desk shrugs. “that's not my problem. you should've thought about that before start skipping your classes.”

you sigh. you turn to leave the office and you see jungwoo staring at you. you pass next to him and leave the office.

your life's a mess and you don't know what to do to fix it.

as you walk down the campus, you spot jaehyun walking next to yuta. he waves at you and you ignore him.

you pull your phone out of your pocket and text jackson.

ᴜ ʙᴜꜱʏ?

ᴊᴡᴀɴɢ: ɴᴏ. ᴡʜʏ?

ᴄᴀɴ ɪ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏᴠᴇʀ?

ᴅᴀᴍɴ ɪᴛꜱ 8 ᴀᴍ

ᴄᴀɴ ɪ ᴏʀ ꜱʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ɪ ᴛᴇxᴛ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴇʟꜱᴇ?

ᴊᴡᴀɴɢ: ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇ ᴋᴇʏᴄᴏᴅᴇ.

ɪ’ʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ɪɴ 15

and you're at jackson’s place in 15 minutes. thank god and his sex skills. you’re panting, laying on your stomach and he falls next to you on his back.

“who’s jungwoo?” he questions.

“no one,” you say.

“do you think of him when i’m fucking you?”

“sometimes,” you reply.

he laughs. “why don't you just go to him?”

you sigh. “it’s not that simple.”

“why?”

“why do you wanna know?” you bury your face on his pillow.

“maybe i can help,” jackson shrugs.

you shake your head. “can i be on top now?”

jackson squints his eyes and then grabs your chin with his thumb. “whatever you want, hottie.”

the next following days, you've been locked in your place studying and doing delayed homeworks and studying for the upcoming tests. you're decided to save your school year.

you see jaehyun in some of your classes and he offers himself to help you to catch up with what they've been doing lately. you say no. you ask someone else and they nicely say yes.

you stop seeing jackson to focus on your studies again and you also stop partying and getting drunk. you and your body need a break.

“are you sure?” he questions.

“yeah. i gotta go now, i still have lots of things to do.”

and that's how the week goes: you barely have any sleep and eating what it's easier to get.

"...and that's why i'm never going back there again."

you laugh. "i'm not surprised after all that!"

you're having lunch at the campus cafeteria with one of your classmates: kun. he's nice and he's a exchange student.

"i can't believe there's decent food today, it smells nice," he says.

"right? this chicken looks nice."

"oh, i didn't bring napkins,"he sighs.

"i'll get them. I forgot my drink. i'll be right back," you stand up.

you feel something is wrong as soon as you stand up.

y/n?"

you feel yourself swaying. why are you swaying? maybe it's because you haven't eaten all day, but you have gone days like that.

you can feel yourself getting light-headed. you desperately try to fight it, feebly grasping at the side of the table, kun's voice sounding far away. the horrible sensation in you is everywhere, consuming you.

"i think i'm going to-"

kun watches in horror as all the colors drain from your face, your eyes rolling back and fluttering closed.

"y/n!"

he tries to manage to break your fall before you can do any damage to your head, but he doesn't get you and you hit your head on the floor.

(...)

you can feel yourself experiencing the ghost of a dream as you come to. the echoes of conversations are confusing yet audible, the visuals clouded by fuzziness.

you see the ceiling first as your vision clears and your brain starts to kick back into gear.

"hey..."

you become aware of jungwoo in your line of vision, pushing back stray strands of your hair from your face. his voice is soft, a gentle smile gracing his own features.

"jungwoo?" you frown. "what happened?"

"you fainted."

you are warm, clammy, sweat clinging to you. shaky too. it feels horrible.

"i fainted...?"

using your hands, you attempt to push yourself up to a sitting position, but jungwoo's arms are on your shoulders in an instant, returning you to your original position on the stretcher.

"don't get up, just stay lying down for now, alright? you hit your head pretty bad, the doctor is making sure nothing's wrong."

you don't really have the strength to argue, so you simply nod in understanding.

jungwoo is so thankful for the first time the the campus has a doctor for cases like this.

"who told you I was here?" you suddenly ask.

"i saw you when you fainted at the cafeteria," he says. "i didnt even think twice, i just took you in my arms and ran here."

he still cares about you.

"thank you."

the doctor comes into the small room with a tablet on his hand. "y/n y/l/n. I have good and bad news. the good news is that you have a minor contusion. take some tylenol if it's still hurting today. the bad news is that you are dehydrated and have low blood sugar.”

you sigh and run a hand through your hair. “have you been eating?” the doctor asks.

you shake your head. “maybe just once a day.”

“not good,” he states. “you need to rest and don't skip your meals anymore. you can go home after the crystalloid is empty.”

“thank you, doctor.” you say.

the doctor leaves the room and you look at jungwoo. “you can go now. i’m fine.”

jungwoo shakes his head. “i’m gonna take you home. i need to make sure you get some rest.”

jungwoo takes you home and leaves you on your bed. he hasn't been to your place since the night you confessed your feelings. you feel your heart squeezing. you hug a pillow. “you can go now. i’m fine.”

“close your eyes,” he says and he sits on the edge of the bed.

you do as he says. but you know you won't be able to sleep if he stays. “do you need another blanket?”

you shake your head, with your eyes still closed. “how am i supposed to sleep if you keep talking?”

jungwoo giggles. “right. sorry.”

you giggle too. his phone rings and he ignores it. then it rings again. “you should go. really. i’m fine.”

“i told you i’m gonna stay,” he puts his phone away.

“your girlfriend will get upset,” you warn.

“as far as i remember i don't have a girlfriend,” he takes off his shoes.

you open your eyes. “what?”

he smiles. “close them again.”

“since when?” you inquiry.

“since september. now, get some sleep.”

it’s january.

he's been single for 4 months.

“why did you break up?���

he lays next to you and reaches his hand up to your eyes level, making you close them. “i don't love her anymore.”

he doesn't love her anymore.

you can't help but feel a bit of hope.

you look at him. oh god. he’s beautiful. and you missed him so bad.

“you will never listen to me, will you?” he cocks an eyebrow.

“you're acting as if you met me yesterday,” you mock him.

“a week ago was january 9th,” he says softly. “i missed you. i miss you.”

you sigh, unable to look him in the eye. “i’m sorry.”

jungwoo frowns. “why?”

“i should have never said what i said. i ruined everything,” you bite your lip. “so i’m sorry.”

jungwoo cups your face with his hands. you look at him. “if there's someone that should be apologizing it's me. i freaked out and pushed you away because i got terrified of how those words made me feel.”

“am i that bad?” you joke. he laughs a bit.

“you're everything but bad,” he pushes back stray strands of your hair from your face, putting it behind your ear. “i’m sorry. i’m so, so sorry, y/n. i got away and wasn't there when you needed me the most. i’m the worst i know, and i’m not expecting you to forgive me but i just wanted you to know that i’m willing to get your friendship back, even if it means we have to start over.”

“jungwoo,” you look at him. “i don't want to start over.”

“oh…” he lowers his head, “okay. i understand.”

you chuckle and he stares at you, confused. “i don't want to start over again because we don't need to. just promise me you wont even turn into a dick ever again.”

he nods. “i promise. i swear to god that won't happen again.”

that night you sleep in his arms and sleep like a baby. like you haven't slept in months .

january 30th present day.

it’s 20:32 and you are standing at a corner in your old house. the street is illuminated by the houses that have christmas decorations all over them. you were waiting for someone.

seoul has been wet for the past few days and it is unusually cold tonight, the temperature dropping to -8.5℃. you are dressed warm enough but your clothes were no match for the cold january breeze that slap you softly across your face. the rain that has turned into snow isn’t helping but that’s fine.

you feel someone wrapping their gloved hands around yours. you smile and squeeze their hand. "you're late."

"sorry," jungwoo apologizes. "i couldn't find my keys."

"jungwoo things," you mock him.

"ah," he chuckles. "baby cheeks back at it again."

you turn to look at him and your hands shake. you lick your lips nervously. jungwoo is so, so indescribably pretty. you have trouble speaking sometimes. he looks at me and he gently puts his finger underneath your chin, and lifts so your eyes meet his.

jungwoo leans in and meets your soft slightly scented lips with his own. it feels good. it feels right; like a puzzle piece has just slotted itself into place.

one hand drifts up and gently brushes some stray hairs away, fingers curling around your ear to trail down the nape of your neck.

slowly, jungwoo lowers his head and you watch as a tongue dart out to wet his lips. you mimic the action, teeth biting gently on his lower lip. jungwoo smiles wrapping you by the waist. "is this a way to tell me you like me?"

"wasn't I very clear?" you rest your hands on his chest.

"uhm no. please do it again," he smiles staring at your lips.

and you kiss him again.

january 9th 20XX. future.

“by the power vested in me by the city, i now pronounce you man and wife. you may now kiss the bride.”

jungwoo smiles down at you his hands gripping yours. he leans down and before he kisses you, he whispers, “i love you so much.”

“ladies and gentlemen, i now give you for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Kim.”

whistles and claps ring out through the church as jungwoo and you still continued to kiss.

"let the girl breathe, loser!,” donghyuck whistles bringing chuckles from the guests.

jungwoo pulls away grinning and winks at you. "now you'll never get rid of me."

"i'm not planning to," you smile at him.

[itstittycitybaby]

Flirty (Lin Beifong x Reader) Part 4

a/n: episode 6 but Lin gets the love and comfort she deserves. also lin’s room has a balcony bc i say so :))).

The pounding in your head felt like someone was driving a drill through it relentlessly. You groaned, eyes slowly opening. The light made your head burn and the migraine you had worse. “She’s awake!” The voice was muddled and faded. “Bolin! Grab the water!” Squinting, the blurred forms in front of you finally cleared. Team avatar stood at the end your bed. Your parakeets were going wild in their cages. Their wings flapped rapidly as their shrill screeching sliced into your brain. “Azure! Ruby,” you croaked, glaring at the parakeets. “Quiet!” Their cries died down but they still hooted softly. “H-here,” Bolin sputtered, handing you a glass of water.

You almost kissed him right then and there. The water was cold as you gulped it down. Your throat was still parched but it didn’t feel like you were dying anymore. “What happened,” you grumbled, rubbing your head. Your fingertips touched a bandage at your temple. The slight sting made your teeth grit together and a softly hiss as the sting worsened. Korra looked apologetic. “You passed out during Lin and Suyin’s fight. Or after.” Lin. Your eyes darted around the room, but there was no sign of her. “Where is she,” you asked, shooting up from your bed. You wiggled out of the sheets and stood on your feet. The world around you felt dizzy. “Woah woah woah,” they all said, reaching out to you. Korra grabbed your arm gently to keep you from falling on your face. “You still need rest!” You waved them off, slowly regaining your balance. Korra let go of you and watched you grab your boots from the floor. “’m fine,” you muttered as you balanced on one foot to slid on your combat boots.

The room around you shifted slightly. You brushed it off as you finished putting on your boots. You needed to find Lin. Finding her was your priority right now. “How long have I been out for,” you asked, swinging your bag over your shoulder. “T-ten hours,” Korra stammered. Team avatar watched you, unsure of what to do. “Wait!” Bolin exclaimed, as you were opening the bird cage. The parakeets settled onto your shoulder. Azure chirped at Asami and Ruby watched the group cautiously. She seemed cranky and pecked at your shoulder softly. You couldn’t blame her; you’d be upset too if someone disturbed your master’s peace. “What is it now? I’m going and you can’t stop me.” “I don’t think we could even if we tried,” Mako muttered. You shot him a glare and he raised his hands up in defense.  “I wanted to ask you something,” Bolin continued, “How did you do that thing?” He pressed his fingers down on his palms.

Your brows furrowed in confusion. Bolin kept repeating the move and making a bubble move with his hands. The lightbulb in your brain dinged. “It’s a force field. Something I invented,” you answered quickly, stumbling your way to your door. “I really don’t think you should be leaving,” Korra called out as you were halfway through the door. “Well,” Mako grumbled, “We tried.”

****

It was silent. Your ear started to ache from pressing it up harshly against the door. “Probably resting,” you sighed. She pushed herself too hard. Your chest tightened from the memories of the fight. She could barely hold herself up from Suyin’s attacks but still pressed on. Suyin. Your lips pulled up into a sneer. Why would she use your actions against Lin? Why would she fight her sister? Lin was weak enough as it is. “She did start it,” you muttered, “but Lin must’ve had a reason.”

“Whatcha doing?” You jumped ten feet into the air. Azure and Ruby squwaked in protest. You swear your soul left your body from Opal sneaking up behind you. “Sorry,” she giggled, “I didn’t mean to scare you so bad.” You rolled your eyes, “Didn’t scare me.” The smile on your face told Opal you weren’t actually annoyed. Her eyes followed yours, staring a hole into Lin’s door. “Are you trying to visit Aunt Lin?”

You nodded, “Yea, but I’ve knocked and no answer. Door ‘s locked too.” “She’s probably still asleep then,” Opal answered. Or doesn’t want to be disturbed. “Really? Fight must’ve taken her out bad.” She didn’t say anything but traveled her eyes to the brightly coloured birds on your shoulder.  Her brows furrowed as she watched Ruby preen at her feathers. “She seems to...like you.” You tilted your head, “What do you mean?” Opal shrugged, green eyes flickering from Ruby to the pavement under her. She followed the cracks and patterns in the cement, seeming to trace them with her eyes. Her voice sounded lost and... sad. “She..seems to enjoy your company more...than anyone else’s. She seems...happier.”

The memory of Opal running out of Lin’s door and crying last flashed in your brain. “Oh Opal,” you sighed, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. There were tears in her eyes. Her eyes remained at the ground. “Look at me,” you commanded softly. Opal’s emerald green eyes snapped up to yours. They shimmered with tears and her eyes were a bit red. Squeezing her shoulder for comfort you said, “Lin is...complicated. Trust me I dated her.” You let out a sad chuckle. Your eyes wandered to her door again but you were really focusing on the memories of the past. It was all you were good for now. Being filled with regret and never being able to forgive yourself for what you had done. “It doesn’t excuse her actions though,” you reassured her softly, “You did nothing wrong. You’re a sweet girl Opal.”

“Thank you,” She murmured. You smiled, but it didn’t seem to reach your eyes. You pat her shoulder gently before dropping it to your side. “Can I ask you something?” You nodded. “Do you know what happened? Between her and my mother?” Your eyes glanced at Lin’s door again. The dark wood felt ominous and sad as you kept staring at it. “No..I don’t. I’ve been asking myself that ever since I’ve got here. But I know something bad happened.” Silence stretched between the two of you. Opal watched you stare into Lin’s door with yearning.

“It hurts you doesn’t it,” Opal asked quietly. “Seeing the two of them tear each other apart. Her be angry with you and pushing you away.” “Bright girl,” you chuckled bitterly. “I can see it y’know,” she said quietly, “I can see the pain and the hurt haunting her as well.”

You didn’t reply; there was no need to. The both of you stood in silence on the front steps to Lin’s room, waiting.

*****

The flute’s notes carried a merry melody. It was one of your favorites, something you used to hum to your brother after he had another nightmare. Lin had been asleep for about sixteen hours. The cement steps dug into your ass as you waited like a dog hoping its master would come home soon. The sun’s rays kissed your skin as you sat there, playing your flute. Azure and Ruby fluttered about, chasing each other on the ground in front of you. You chuckled watching them tweet and fly around each other. It made you think of Bo and Bao. You smiled sadly at the thought of them. The two of them were incredible birds. They were the only family you had after being alone for so many years.

“Is she still asleep?” You looked away from Ruby And Azure, meeting Korra’s eyes. You shrugged in reply, carrying on with your flute playing. You’ll always be a bitter and lonely old woman. Your teeth gritted as her words rung in your head. She still needed to apologize. Mako and Bolin talked amongst themselves.  Weird, you thought, where’s Asami? They paid you no mind as they argued about who should poke the sleeping bear.

“You should do it you’re the avatar!” You stifled a laugh. Korra grumbled,“Fine fine, I’ll do it.” She huffed, swinging her feet over the brick steps. Her fist begrudgingly knocked on the grumpy bear’s door. “Lin? You okay? You’ve been asleep for sixteen hours now.” No answer. Korra sighed defeated. She walked down the steps about to leave. The sound of the door opening made the four of you perk up. Oh my fucking god, you thought.

Lin stood in her doorway, green earth bender robes adorning her. The silver necklace around her neck glimmered in the sun. Gold is more her colour, you couldn’t help but think as the the avatar and her friends gawked. It was unusual seeing her without her armor but damn did she look good. There was a smile on her face as she bid them a good morning. Team avatar’s eyes bulged out of their skulls. “G-good morning,” the three of them sputtered.

Lin’s eyes wandered over to you. You sent her a quick wave. “Those robes look great on you Beifong.” She snorted, but there was a soft smile on her face. Her eyes wandered to the bandages on your temple. Your nose was still a bit swollen but it seemed to have gone down overtime. The sight made her smile falter and eyes flickering with guilt. You sent Lin a reassuring smile. There wasn’t any anger in your heart. You couldn’t bring yourself to be upset with her. You could never be upset with the woman you loved.

Lin’s posture seemed to relax more but the guilt still laid underneath her eyes, rumbling like a beast. Lin bowed her head and left.

****

“I’m sorry Lin. For everything. I was a crazy kid back then, I admit that.” Lin didn’t say anything. Her sister stared at her expectantly but kept her mouth shut. Suyin had tore their relationship apart. Her mother quit because she couldn’t take the shame of having a criminal as a daughter. Because of her, Lin had a scar she had to look at everyday in the mirror. For thirty years, Lin couldn’t let it go. The idea of letting go of the anger and pain she had been so accustomed to was terrifying. How could she let that all go? The anger she left after all these years was the only thing that warmed her.  It comforted her as time moved on. If she let go, there’d be nothing left.

Lin and Suyin stared at the metal sculpture in front of them.  “Thank you,” she spoke after a while. Suyin turned her gaze to her sister. “I accept your apology.”

She smiled, a genuine smile. “We need a new dance coach. How about you stay here Lin? We can be a family again.” Lin snorted, “I think I can start not destroying your grounds for now.” Suyin laughed, “Deal.” The two of them talked for a bit. While Suyin carried on about nothing Lin couldn’t help but feel that she had made the wrong decision.

****

“How did you do that?” “Hm?” You and Bolin sat on a bench together in one of Su’s courtyards. You didn’t want to risk aggravating the already grumpy bear by waiting outside Lin’s door all day. “The shield! Whatever that was.” You laughed at the childlike enthusiasm Bolin expressed. It was adorable and sweet. His excitement made you feel young and free again. Bolin reminded you of Bumi and Dee. “It’s a force field. I made it,” you stated proudly. “How did you make it?!” You laughed, “There’s a lot that goes into it. Metal, energy, and some other stuff.” Bolin tilted his head and asked, “I thought you weren’t a bender. Aren’t you just an architect?” “Sadly, I’m not a bender. But I am an architect, you were right about that. I’m also an inventor.”

“A damn good one at that.” The two of you looked up at the intrusion. Lin stood there with her arms crossed, peering at the two of you. After apologizing to Opal she went back to her place to talk to you. However, you were gone. She wandered around until she heard your voice. Lin flickered between the two of you. She swallowed the jealousy the striked through her. Bolin gulped nervously at Lin’s light glare. He glanced towards you. You didn’t even seem fazed at the death stare Lin was sending. “I’m..just gonna go,” he said awkwardly, “Opal and I have plans.” “Sounds great,” you smiled, sending him a wave. “I’d be happy to show you the shield later.” He smiled nervously and murmured something about finding you tomorrow.

Once Bolin left Lin turned to you. “Busy?” “Not anymore” you snorted, “Someone got jealous and scared Bolin away.” Lin’s teeth gritted together and her jaw tightened. “I’m not jealous,” she grumbled, eyes narrowing to slits. You raised a brow and crossed your arms. “Glaring at someone hard enough to burn a hole through their head? Yea, that seems normal.” “Just forget it,” Lin grunted, turning to walk away. “I’m just teasing,” you called out, jumping up from the bench. “What did you have in mind?” Lin stopped and turned to you. “Whiskey.” You grinned, “You sure know a way to a person’s heart Lin!” She snorted. “Are you coming or not?” “Yea,” you chirped, “I gotta get a couple things from my room real quick. Meet you at yours in ten?” Lin nodded. “Great!” She watched you leave, chuckling at the hop in your step. Azure and Ruby flew around you, chirping. Lin smiled softly at the excitement in your pace and the happy aura that surrounded you.

****

The whiskey went down smoothly. Lin had always been a fan of it from the burn that welcomed her. Silence stretched between the two of you. Her stomach prickled at the nerves in her veins. Apologies were hard for Lin but if she didn’t apologize she’d be just as bad as Suyin. You fiddled your glass in your hands, cradling it on the railing. Azure and Ruby flittered about on the metal. Their brightly coloured feathers contrasted with the back metal railing.

“Yknow,” you said, breaking the silence, “I didn’t think this city would be so pretty.” Lin arched a brow, setting her empty glass on a side table near her. “What? The metal?” She gestured to the metal shield that protected the area around the two of you. You snorted, “Yea definitely. Just look at the bolts. They look so strong. Would be great for a project I’m planning.” Lin chuckled. She wouldn’t admit it, but she missed this. The late nights when the two of you chatted about nothing and everything. The dry jokes the two of you shared as you embraced each other in bed. It tugged at her heart in such a way where she didn’t know what to feel. Sad?Angry? Happy? Lin guessed it was all of them.

Her eyes fell to the white bandage that faced her. It covered your right temple and barely rested above your cheekbone. The shame flashed hotly in her chest. The guilt felt heavy and..gross. Lin’s apology she had practiced on the way here died on her tongue. She couldn’t utter the words she repeated in her head. Maybe she was just as bad as Suyin.

“It doesn’t hurt that much,” you muttered softly into the air. Lin’s heavy gaze made your neck prickle. You knew she felt awful. Her strong eyes always seemed to waver whenever she looked at it. Whenever she looked at you.

“I know.” You turned to her, brows drawn in confusion. “You do?” Lin sighed, “No I don’t..I just..I wanted to apologize.” You didn’t say anything. Your curious stare made Lin feel small. It made her feel like a kid and Toph caught her misbehaving. She felt like shrinking into the tile of the balcony and disappearing. She watched you pull out a blunt and a lighter. The soft orange flecks lit up and you took a drag. Blowing it out, you handed it to her. Lin accepted it gladly.

“It’s alright Lin,” you said, shooting her a smile. “I’m not mad.” “You’re not?” Shaking your head, you took the blunt once she handed it back to you. Another hit, and then you passed it again. It was a pattern. “I could never be angry with you. Nothing could ever make me hate you.”

“Why did you do that,” Lin asked, eyes focusing on the railing. Lin wanted to run. She would always be a coward. She would always run like her life depended on it. In a sense, it felt like it did. “To Protect you.” Lin’s eyes flickered to your lips. They wrapped around the blunt. They looked so soft and warm. Lin wondered if you still used the fruity chapstick you loved all those years ago. You caught her eye and sent her a wink. She looked away, cheeks slightly flushing.

“It’s all I know,” you whispered. “I care about you...I... if I seeing you getting hurt or the idea of,” your voice wavered. You swallowed thickly. “I’d rather get hurt than see you in danger.” Lin didn’t say anything but you knew she hung on to every word you said. “What Su did...Suyin,” you corrected yourself. Suyin wasn’t a friend to you anymore. She had cut off that friendship now. “You didn’t deserve that Lin. And I’m so so sorry.”

Lin swallowed. She was deathly quiet. For so long she had been angry. Bitter, lonely, sad. She directed it at people who didn’t deserve it and in turn the people she loved left. Lin had a hard time facing her feelings and accepting them for what they were. She felt so lost at hearing your words. The words she had been daydreaming about from you were now reality. I care about you. It felt weird and wrong coming from your lips. And yet, they felt like home.

“It wasn’t true? That I pushed you away?,” Lin’s breath wavered. The lump in her throat felt heavier. “Y-you left (Y/N), you left me here alone. I...I had no one. And then you come back out of no where and pretend everything’s fine.”

You took another hit and exhaled. Lin watched the smoke wisp away. The slight buzz in her system and the haziness in her veins was ironic. It almost made her laugh at the irony of its difference from what she actually felt.

“I know,” you replied, voice choking. “And I regret every second of my life because of that. If I could take it all back, I would. I-I didn’t know what else to do. I just saw you and...it all came crashing back again.” Lin’s eyes watered. Damnit, she wouldn’t cry over this. Over something so small and trivial. It had been thirty years. Thirty fucking years since the last time she saw you. And you waltzed back into her life like nothing had happened. What was she supposed to make of that?

“I’m sorry Lin,” you whispered softly. She watched a tear fall from your eye. Then another. This all felt like some cliche movie film. This couldn’t be real, you weren’t real. Lin was dreaming again and soon she’d wake up. She would trudge through the morning to get to work along with the dreams from the night before. They were faded but still left a bitter taste in her mouth. But she knew this wasn’t a dream as much as she wished it were. Every second of this was real. Your voice was real and you, in front of her, were real.

“Do you love me?” Lin hated that her voice shook. She swallowed the tears away. The pit in her throat rolled like a stone. She felt she was choking on air from trying to keep it together. Lin tried so hard to maintain the perfect image. The one she created to make Toph proud, the image she created to finally be at peace with herself. But as always, you saw right through her.

“I never stopped,” you whispered, voice cracking. Your eyes red from the weed and your tears. You sniffled lightly, wiping your nose. You flinched slightly from the pain. Lin took a long hit. Her vision blurred and her heart ached longingly. You were here; after thirty fucking years you came back to her.

Every time she saw you it all came rushing back. Bao and Bo singing along to “Dancing Queen” as it played while the two of you danced. Whenever you first joined the force and Lin couldn’t focus around you. How the two of you would sneak off in the middle of the day and make out in the janitor’s closet. Two young dumb kids in love. Things hadn’t changed. Now, the two of you were old, dumb, and in love.

“I-I understand if you don’t want anything right now.” Lin snapped out of her thoughts. “But I want you to know that I do really care about you. I still want you in my life...but I understand if you want me gone. I-I’ll leave as soon as I can and stay gone for good.” She swallowed thickly. She choked on air and breathed heavily. “No.”

You looked at her, shocked. Lin passed the blunt to you and you took another hit. Patiently, you waited. You’ve waited for thirty years to see Lin again one day. You’d wait for her again in a heart beat.

“I finally have you in my grasp. I don’t want to loose you again.” You looked over to her. Lin stared out into the distance. Gently, you placed your hand on hers. Her eyes shifted at hers and yours hands, then your face. You smiled, lips quivering.

Lin turned to watch Azure and Ruby. They preened each other with their beaks. Azure seemed softer with Ruby as he ran his beak gently through her feathers. “Did Bao and Bo...?” Lin couldn’t finish her sentence. You chuckled sadly, “Yea.” “I’m sorry.” She pulled her hand from yours and gently removed your hand off the railing. Her hand was soft and warm as she grasped yours firmly. You looked at her confused and she sent you a smile in return. Lin’s hand didn’t let go of yours as she hung it by her side. She squeezed it gently.

“Bo died from a robbery,” you whispered.

Lin was surprised. Birds weren’t fighters. ‘Well’, she thought smiling at the memory of Bo trying to fight her reflection in Lin’s police uniform. “How,” Lin asked softly.  “I was asleep. Two men came in my hut that night. Bo screeched loud enough to wake me. She flew around them rapidly.” You wiped the tears from your eyes before continuing. “They flung her against the wall. She died pretty soon after. That’s where I got this scar.” You pointed to the one on your brow. Lin’s heart sank. “What happened to the men?”

“I killed them.” Lin didn’t say anything, but stroked your hand with her thumb. You pulled your lips into a quivering smile. “They were just bandits out in the middle of nowhere trying to rob a poor fool. Hurt like a bitch. Left me a scar to tell the tale.” “I’m so sorry (Y/N),” Lin whispered. She turned her hand to trace your palm with her fingers. It tickled a bit.

“What happened to Bao?” “Died seven years later.” “How?” “Heartbreak. Was never the same without Bo.” Lin turned towards you. Her green eyes were incredibly soft. “I’m glad..that you’re here again.” “Heh,” you laughed, choking slightly. “I am too.”

Lin looked at Azure and Ruby again. They chirped softly and hopped on the tile floor. Azure strutted about, observing the place while Ruby watched carefully. “Where’d you get them?” Your eyes fell downwards and smiled fondly at your precious parakeets. “Dee gave them to me,” you said. “We went to a pet store in the city he lives. It had been a while since I’ve seen him and it was our mom’s birthday. We always try and meet up to be there for each other. Found these two sleeping soundly and the rest is history.”

“They’re beautiful,” Lin murmured. You nodded, agreeing. Silence fell between the two of you. It didn’t feel sad and lonely this time. There wasn’t regret or bitterness. For the first time in thirty years, you felt like you could breathe again. “Thanks for the drink,” you said, dropping Lin’s hand. The blunt was almost out but there was still some of it left. You’d finish it on your way to your rooms. Azure and Ruby flew to your shoulder from hearing your footsteps. Azure squwaked at Lin, demanding pets. Lin laughed and went to stroke his head. “Of course,” Lin said, hand dropping to her side again. “Thanks for the smoke.”

You smiled, a genuine one this time. Yet there was some sadness still swirling in your eyes. Lin felt her heart ache. Before she could think better of it, Lin leaned down and kissed your cheek. Your eyes went wide. You hadn’t expected that at all. “Kissing me so soon?” “I’ll take it back,” Lin grunted. “Can’t,” you argued, sending her a wink. “See you tomorrow?” “See you tomorrow,” Lin confirmed with a soft smile. Giving her one last wave and a chirp from Azure and Ruby, you left the balcony. A real smile was on your face for the first time in a while.

[chrstbll]

finally found you. | ben hargreeves

 (gif not mine)

pairing: ben hargreeves x reader

tag: @grievingghost​

note: my first request ever! i just wanted to tell you, you made my whole day. thank you :) i hope you'll enjoy this one! xx i tried my best.

plot: Spending two years in the ‘60s, Ben starts to get concerned after every one of his siblings show up, except you. They find you where they least expect to. 

Returning to the huge mansion Klaus’s cult were positioned, the fourth sibling lazily slopped down on the couch of his bedroom. Removing a few pieces of clothing from his outfit, he made himself more comfortable and started to doze off, his baggy, tired eyes shuttering close.

“God, what a long day of saving the world. I don’t know how Superman does it daily.” he yawned and turned to his side. Klaus met up with exactly five of his siblings today to discuss the plan on how to return to their true timeline. Five pretty serious about saying  it was now or never. None of them forgot you, Diego notably. The two of you shared a strong bond that most siblings usually don’t. He looked for you in multiple states throughout the years, but eventually he had to stop for his own good. He hated the plan solely because they couldn’t do anything but leave you behind. Even after they tried to look for you, every evidence has led to a dead end.

“Oh, I’m sure you’re real sleepy.” a snarky voice spoke up in front of him. Klaus’ eyes popped open, but quickly relaxed when he recognised that it’s only Ben making his stupid comments.

“Just shut up, man. Let me have one good afternoon nap for once. Please...” he begged with a hoarse voice. Ben wasn’t buying any of his crap today, as Klaus did more things than usual that infuriated the ghost. For example, when he asked to let the others know he’s present as well, he simply laughed in his face.

“Shouldn’t you be at least a tiny bit of worried that we might leave in a few days, and (Y/N) still haven’t walked by us once? Shouldn’t you be? Because I am, and I don’t know why the dead one has to motivate you to look for your sister!” he scolded Klaus without stuttering once. He was sure you were alright. He knew how strong you were, especially when you had to face problems yourself. He assured himself everday since they got here, that they would eventually run into you or you’d find them. His anxiety only arose when Five declared his plan and you were still nowhere to be found.

“Weren’t you with me this whole time? We looked for her! For two years I thought my family was dead, can I be at least a little happy for them?” Klaus sounded angry and desperate at the same time. He was now sitting up and facing his brother with a hardened look on his face.

“Well we didn’t look hard enough! You didn’t!” Ben only angered Klaus more.

“I’m sorry my little brother, but she’s probably dead in a ditch somewhere “he groaned “Knowing her, she’d be here already, but she isn’t. You must accept it, she’s gone. End of story! “Klaus lashed out in a manner which resulted in one thing.

Ben punched him.

“Did I convince you?”

“Yeah.”

The question 'What would you do, if you travelled back in time to the '60s?' would probably be the title of a little kid's first essay in school that they’d have a hard time writing. Even after two years of living in this timeline, you’d have no idea what to write either.

Searching in hopes of finding at least one alive sibling of your family was a quest you gave up exactly today. After desperately trying day after day, you finally sat down in a bar. The feeling of hopelessness and disappointment weighted down on your shoulders. Two years and none of them turning up really took its toll on you. Maybe Five has a plan, right? You thought of every single one of them, but one face in your memory ached your heart more than the rest. Memories of Ben kept popping up in your brain, and honestly, this time you didn’t mind. Since the day he’s been gone, you grieved him and kept his memory close to your heart.

You thought back to that night after Reginald’s funeral, when Klaus revealed to you that the boy you tied strong feelings to was still around. The first time in seventeen years that you were able to reconnect with him, and God, was it amazing and heart-breaking at the same time. Ever since then, you felt a little less alone. Even though you were surrounded by your living siblings, it made you a little bit happier knowing all eight of you were there.

With the  money you managed to save up, you bought a drink. You looked around and saw exactly what everyday life was like here. Excessive amount of drinking and smoking hand in hand, usually older, grungy white men enjoying their addiction of poker where they stole anything they possibly could from their opponents.

While you were waiting for your drink, your eyes wandered through a room. Today wasn’t the day you expected something out of ordinary to happen. But here it was. You could feel your body freeze and your blood pressure go up at the same time when your eyes spot a slim male figure, with long brown and wavy locks dressed in funny clothing in the farthest part of the room. He was arguing with thin air. For a few seconds you looked at him weird and that was when the realisation hit you.

Klaus!

Already forgetting your drink, you abruptly stood up from the bar stool. Quickly crossing the room, you made your way over to Klaus, not taking your eyes off him. You bumped into a few people which granted you some mean remarks, but you didn’t even hear them. As if everything turned to grey in the room, and only Klaus was in colour. You picked up the pace when it looked like he was about leave. Your heart was pounding, your ears were ringing, and you couldn’t believe that it was actually him until you crashed into his body and wrapped him in a suffocating hug.  

He wasn’t realising the situation until he saw the shocked Ben behind you. He looked at you and back at him, repeating several times before returning the tight hug. He began laughing almost hysterically and he was sure he felt his eyes tear up. When he pulled away, he was still grabbing your shoulders to make sure you were real and not going away. 

“Damn, girl, didn’t you want to show up sooner?” he joked.

“I wanted to. Believe me” you replied. You were breathless, but so over the moon at the same time for finally getting a hold of your brother.

If only you could see the pure ecstasy that got a hold of Ben in a matter of seconds. He was in the middle of a heated argument with Klaus about him saying that you most likely won’t be here and how stupid of an idea it was to come here. He swore he was about to launch another punch at him, when suddenly you exploded into Klaus’ arms. The atmosphere instantly softened just like his whole being did. If he were alive, he’d be sure as hell his heart would’ve jumped out of his chest right then and there. The relief and happiness thanks to you combined affected him as if a fresh glass of water was offered up to him after days of insufferable thirst. 

Klaus presented the idea to return to his place where you can catch up on everything in peace. You didn’t mention Ben yet, however he was the only one on your mind. You were thinking about asking Klaus if he could conjure up his ghost so he can be visible to your eyes as well, or just simply deliver some messages. But you also didn’t want to make him feel like a translator or a third-wheel at all, but greedines got the best of you.

“Can I talk to Ben when we get back?” you asked softly “If it’s alright with you.” you added. The anxiety was obviously recognizable in your voice, but perhaps it was for the reason that you feared being rejected by your brother or because you were in despair to share a few words with your deceased lover at last. 

“It’s only fair (Y/N)” he smiled to himself “ So of course. Plus I’m already tired of Benny boy gushing in the backseat” The statement made you laugh wholeheartedly, something you haven’t done in a while. 

Sitting down in his room, you were filled with excitement. You saw Klaus how hard he focused on his powers, so you remained still and quiet, but you would have anyway from feeling incredibly nervous.

As a shape started to take form with a blissful blue layer over itself on the couch in front of you, you found Ben himself smiling warmly back at you. His eyes glistened, his features fit him perfectly in his mature age, and he just looked perfect.

“Finally found you.” he beamed.

[obx-adventures]

The Fall

Summary: Grace just moved from Figure Eight to the Cut. She never expected to run into her old friend, Kiara, and discover she lives next door to JJ Maybank.

Catch up on Ch 1

——

Chapter 2

“Mom, I’m home.” Grace sets down her keys and kicks off her shoes in relief. She’s been working almost every day at The Wreck since JJ asked Kiara if they were hiring.

It’s been 3 weeks and 2 days since she officially became a Pogue. Everyday has been spent with them either before or after her shifts and today is no different. JJ is supposed to pick her up in 30 minutes, giving her time to check on her mom and shower before having the rest of the day to herself.

“Mom? Are you here?” Grace walks into her mom’s room and discovers her passed out on her bed with a mostly empty bottle of vodka on her bedside table. Unfortunately, this has become a common occurrence since their move a month ago. Amanda Porter has begun searching for solace at the bottom of the bottle, leaving Grace to fend for both of them.

Grace takes the vodka bottle to the bathroom with her and empties it before climbing into the shower. As she rests her head against the tiled wall, she allows a few tears to stream down her face while she thinks about her new life. Grace has reveled in having real friends for the first time but can’t help the sorrow she feels over her mom’s depression and dad’s absence. Paul Porter has never been World’s Greatest Dad material but it doesn’t make Grace miss him any less or dull the ache in her heart over not speaking with him all this time. She has tried to call or text him every day since he kicked her and her mom out but he continues to ignore her.

Grace shakes her head to snap out of her downward spiral. While she washes her hair, she reminds herself of the positive changes in her life. First and foremost are Kiara and JJ. Kiara has welcomed her with open arms into her life - introducing her to the Pogues, getting her the waitressing job at The Wreck, and reminding her everyday that she has a new family. JJ is a horse of a different color. He constantly surprises her with his thoughtfulness and sense of humor but he doesn’t treat her differently because of her home situation. Grace catches herself watching him more often than she cares to admit and still feels tingly when he touches her. But what’s weird is how she’s pretty sure she feels him watching her too when she’s talking with someone else.

Grace towels off and gets dressed quickly when she notices that JJ will be there any minute. As if summoned by her thoughts, she hears the van pull up in front of her house. Before leaving, Grace leaves a note and glass of water for her mom but is almost certain that she’ll still be passed out when Grace gets home later.

“Hi, JJ. Thanks for picking me up.” Grace clambers into the van and smiles at JJ. He’s been watching her closely over the past couple weeks and knows this isn’t her real smile, which is bright enough to warm JJ’s heart from a mile away.

“What’s wrong?” He reaches over to clasp her hand and feels the familiar spark that he’s beginning to associate only with her.

“Just a long shift. I’m ok. What’s on the agenda for today?” JJ studies her face and decides that there is something more there but doesn’t push her. He’s growing accustomed to her reserved demeanor, which has been a bigger adjustment than he thought.

All the Pogues are really open with each other about their good, bad, and stupid thoughts and feelings. But Grace is different and JJ is trying his best to give her the space she needs to open up to him.

“Well if you want me to bring you home early tonight, just let me know. Or you can take a nap at JB’s. Or crash there tonight. Whatever you want.” JJ silently cursed himself for sounding so frazzled. What is it with this girl?!

“JJ, I told you that you don’t have to drive me home every night. I’ve gotten used to The Cut and can just walk like I do after my shifts.”

“You’re walking home after work?! Kie said she was driving you.”

“She usually does but there are days when we don’t work the same shifts. It’s not a big deal.”

“Yes it is. Let me know what days she can’t drive you home and I’ll pick you up.”

“That’s silly! I am perfectly capable of walking by myself.”

“Not the point. It’s not safe.”

“What are you talking about? You know this neighborhood better than I do and you know no one in The Cut would hurt me.” JJ finds himself backed into a corner. He doesn’t want Grace to end up running into his dad on her way home but he doesn’t want her to know that either.

“Grace, please... most of our neighbors are great and we all look out for each other but there are a couple people who I don’t want you to run into. Please trust me and let me protect you.”

Grace is taken aback by the desperation in JJ’s voice. This is the closest he’s come to explaining to her what he’s worried about and she can’t help thinking that this is personal to him. The pleading look in his cerulean eyes is enough to get her to nod in agreement.

“Thank you.” He notices that his hand is still holding hers and softly brushes his thumb over her delicate skin. She fidgets nervously and her cheeks flush pink. When he’s driving to the Chateau moments later, he can’t help thinking the pink tinge was the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

——

Grace tumbles out of bed at 1:30am when she’s woken up by insistent knocking on her window. She immediately thinks back to JJ’s alarm earlier in the day upon discovering that she’s walked through The Cut without him and worried that he was right. She tentatively approaches her window and sighs in relief when she recognizes JJ’s blond locks. She opens the window quickly, confusion quickly replacing relief.

“JJ, what the hell are you doing here?” When he turns to look at her, she gasps at his bloodied face. “Oh my God! What happened?”

“Look, I’m really sorry to wake you up but can you please let me in? Fast?” Grace lifts up the window screen so JJ can climb through. Once he’s inside, she leads him to the bathroom to clean him up.

She begins to silently clean his wounds while JJ watches her anxiously. Grace jumps when she hears a man bellowing out in front of her house.

“You little son of a bitch! You can’t run from me for long! Get your ass back here and face me like a man!” She looks to JJ, hoping for an explanation for all of this, but is saddened to see his face drooping in defeat. Before she can second guess herself, she pulls him in for a hug and holds him close until he hugs her back. She feels tears dropping onto her exposed shoulder and holds him tighter.

“That bastard is my father...” Grace continues to hold JJ as he tries to explain. “I don’t even know what I did this time.” Grace turns her head to kiss his cheek and tries to think of how to respond.

“I’m so sorry... I’m glad you felt you could come here.”

“Please don’t tell the others. JB knows and I’m sure Pope and Kie suspect but I don’t want to get into the details and see their pity. I didn’t even want you to know... I usually go the Chateau when this happens... but I needed... it doesn’t matter.”

Grace pulls back to study his face, desperate to understand how she can help him. JJ reluctantly meets her eyes and is surprised to only find concern. They hold each other’s gazes for a minute and jump apart when Grace’s mother bursts into the bathroom.

“Who the hell are you?” Amanda slurs at JJ. The pungent smell of alcohol rolling off her.

“Uh, mom, this is my friend JJ. Remember, I told you about him. I met him through Kiara.” Grace refuses to look at JJ, despite feeling his eyes on her, while her mom tries to process the half-ass introduction.

“What is he doing here? It’s late.”

“He got hurt and didn’t have any first aid supplies at his house. We’ll get out of here so you can use the bathroom.” Grace walks out of the bathroom without even a glance at JJ. She hears him mumble hello to her mom and leads him into the kitchen to continue cleaning him up. She regrets this decision quickly when she sees the empty alcohol bottles next to the garbage can.

JJ is more than a little confused by the turn of events. He went from worry about what Grace would think of him to worry for Grace in a matter of minutes. After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, he tries to talk with her.

“Grace, were you worried about your mom when I picked you up this afternoon?”

“Uh... yea... She was already passed out when I got home from work.” JJ has to inch closer to her to hear what she’s saying. He’s learned that she gets really quiet when she’s embarrassed or anxious so he tries to lighten the mood.

“And here I was planning on giving Kie’s dad a piece of my mind for working you so hard.” When Grace remains silent as she works on cleaning the last cut on his face, he catches her hand in his and lifts her chin with his other hand. “Listen, I’m here for you if you need to talk. You heard my dad, he wasn’t exactly sober. To be honest, he hasn’t been since my mom left us. But we can take care of each other, ok?”

JJ’s words cause Grace’s internal dam to break. She breaks down against his chest and, for the first time in her life, allows someone else to support her. He runs his hand up and down her back as she sobs and soon starts crying with her. When both of their tears run dry, they head back into Grace’s room, both feeling a little awkward.

“Do you want to stay here tonight? I don’t want you going home if you’ll be in danger.” Grace’s offer surprises both of them but JJ quickly accepts.

After getting settled in her bed, JJ turns to Grace and brushes her hair out of her face. He lets his hand rest tenderly on her cheek and gently slides his thumb back and forth until she falls asleep. He watches her sleep for a while and tries to figure out what is happening between them. JJ has had crushes before but this feels different and is a little disconcerting. But when Grace starts mumbling in her sleep, he can’t help but smile and feel thankful to have her in his life. Her slow, deep breaths soothe him and he eventually drifts off feeling at peace.

Ch 3

Let me know if you want to be tagged in future chapters.

Taglist: @agirlwholovescoffee @alexa-playafricabytoto @mendesmaybank @teamnick @laurenyee09 @prejudic3 @teaheee

[twomoonstwosuns]

crush.

pairing: poe dameron x reader

warnings: none

word count: 2.3k

a/n: ....part 2? i have something in mind, but i’d love to hear from people if they wanna see a part 2. 

[part 2]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“How long has it been since you’ve slept?”

“I’m fine, Poe.”

“I didn’t ask you that.”

You threw your head back with a sigh of frustration before looking up at Poe. He was leaning against the table in front of you with his arms crossed, looking at you concernedly.

“How long?” He repeated. Your tongue poked in the inside of your cheek as you tried to avoid the question. But Poe was persistent and would not let this go until he got an answer out of you.

You’d put in a long workday. You had gotten up early, consulted with the squadron leaders, and had gotten information from Leia regarding a mission she was sending Poe on. Since then you were researching and strategizing, only leaving the room for food and bathroom breaks. You glanced at the clock to your right. It was nearing 5a.m. You had been up for nearly 22 hours.

“Awhile.” You finally answered, running a hand through your hair. “But I really need to get this done. I’m meeting with Leia in the morning and she’s counting on this being ready for your mission tomorrow.”

You nodded towards the papers in front of you. On them were a bunch of strategies for the different complications Poe could run into on his mission to Jakku the following morning; confrontation tactics in case something went wrong, escape plans if he had to abort the mission, and plans for worse case scenarios.

“You can’t keep overworking yourself, though.” Poe didn’t even look at the papers. His focus was still on you. “It’s not healthy.”

“I know. I don’t pull all-nighters all the time, it’s just—“

“You pulled two last week.”

You looked down in embarrassment at being caught in a lie. You were so careful; trying to make sure you looked bright-eyed and fresh everyday so no one knew you were so overtired.

“Ok, fine.” You were unapologetic as you looked back up at Poe. Maybe it was the exhaustion putting your emotions on edge, because you were getting annoyed and feeling defensive. “But Poe, this is a really important mission you’re going on. And you’re going alone. So many things can go wrong. I’m not letting you go unprepared and if I have to sacrifice some sleep to make sure of that, so be it.”

Poe admired your devotion to the cause. To his safety.It was on par with his. But that meant, like him, you bordered on recklessness in order to get things done and get results. The only difference between you was where you did your jobs. He leaned forward, his face much closer to yours.

“You’re great at what you do even on your worst days,” he said with an easy smile, holding your gaze. Your face softened. “If you can honestly tell me that everything isn’t starting to blur together or that you haven’t read the same thing six times in a row, I’ll leave you alone.”

You couldn’t tell him that. Because you really didn’t know what you had been working on the last hour or if you even accomplished anything. You eyed the papers in front of you.

“I don’t know Poe, I’ve still got so much work to do.”

“Leia will understand that you need a break. In fact, as your commander, I’m ordering you to take a break.”

Poe stood straight up, hovering over authoritatively. You arched your eyebrow. Gone was the overwhelming concern in his voice, replaced now with the flirty tone you both were known for displaying whenever you were together.  

“You know technically, you’re not my commander.”

“But I am a commander, so I have some authority over you.”

“No you don’t. You’re full of it.”

He had a half smirk on his face, which made you smirk back at him. Even tired, you could dish it right back to him.

“Just a couple of hours. I promise to have you back here with plenty of time to finish everything. Please, Y/N?”

Your name was soft as it left his lips. You looked at him as you considered his words. His eyes were pleading, almost begging. He was right; you probably should take a break. A twenty minute power nap would get you right back on track, you thought. Or you could keep working in the privacy of your own room. Poe would walk you to your door and go back to his quarters, never the wiser.

You gave a defeated sigh as you stood up. Poe smiled victoriously as he started helping you gather papers, handing them to you to place in a folder. You followed him out of the room, hitting the lights as you left.

“Wait Poe, what are you  doing up at this hour?” You asked as you fell in step with him, now the one filled with concern.

“Can’t sleep. Don’t worry about it.”

You stopped him with a gentle hand on his arm.

“I always worry about you.”

Poe looked down at you. Your eyes were glossy from fatigue, but they still mesmerized him. His jaw clenched, like he didn’t quite want to say what was on the tip of his tongue. You raised your eyebrows, urging him to talk.

“I slept for a bit, woke up and couldn’t fall asleep again. Guess I’m just feeling anxious about this mission.” He admitted as he started walking again. You walked swiftly to catch up with him. “Kind of dumb, isn’t it? I’ve been on so many missions now that I shouldn’t be feeling anxious about another one.”

You shook your head.

“It’s not dumb, Poe. The unknown is…terrifying. To be honest, I’m scared anytime you leave. Anytime anyone leaves. We’ve lost too many good people.”

“Is that why you do what you do?”

Poe gestured to the folder in your hand. You tightened your grip on it. You didn’t quite know how to answer the question.

“I don’t know.” You answered honestly. “Apart from the fact that I’m not the best flyer, I feel less anxious about this war with the First Order knowing we’ve prepared you the best we can. Obviously anything can go wrong no matter how much we prepare you guys, but at least you’re not going into anything without some kind of a plan.”

“I don’t think you know how many times you’ve saved our asses out there.”

“I don’t know if I want to know. I try to cling to the hope that things go smoothly every time you leave.”

“Your hope gives me hope.”

Your whole body felt warm. Sure, you and Poe shamelessly flirted with each other all the time, but this was something different. It had taken you weeks to admit to yourself you liked Poe a lot more than a friend, the flirting now making your heart ache a little bit more with the knowledge that he would probably only ever be your friend. And now he was saying things like this and making your heart swell with want.

“I really wish you weren’t going alone.” Your voice was nearly a whisper, the weight of everything heavy on your shoulders.

Poe exhaled through his nose, his hand grabbing yours and squeezing once before letting go again.

“Me too.”

You wanted to grab his hand, intertwine your fingers and not let go. You had had many heart-to-heart conversations with Poe about how you both truly felt about everything going on and what the future might be like, but none of those conversations drove you to tears like this one did. You convinced yourself it was the overtiredness keeping your emotions just below the surface, but deep down you knew it was your feelings for Poe making you care even more.  

“Wait a minute,” you said, pulling yourself from your thoughts as you recognized the hallway you were in. Poe was pulling out his card. “Why are we at your door?”

“Because the minute I leave you alone in your own room, you’ll go back to work.”

Damn him, you thought to yourself. He figured out your plan. Apparently the disappointment read on your face because he chuckled as he opened his door and said, “I know you Y/N.”

You huffed in frustration as he ushered you inside. You’d been in his quarters plenty of times, but not doing anything other than chatting. You saw BB8 tucked into his charging station.

“Plus,” Poe said, seemingly not done teasing you. “My bed is bigger and probably more comfortable than yours and you really need sleep.”

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms.

“Careful Dameron, someone might think you’re trying to get me in bed.”

Poe laughed as you removed your shoes. He took them and moved them next to his by the door.

“You are welcome in my bed anytime Y/N, but you really need to sleep now.”

You fought the grin that threatened to cross your face as heat rose to your cheeks. The all to familiar ache was not back in your chest. Your flirting was going to get you in trouble someday, especially as your feelings for Poe grew stronger and stronger. But you couldn’t stop. It was so easy to flirt and talk and whatever with Poe.

“Y/N?”

Poe appeared in front of you, looking at you curiously.

“Sorry, what?”

“I asked if you were good. You look like you’re about to fall asleep on your feet.”

“I’m good.” You assured him. “Admittedly tired.”

“I don’t want to say I told you so, but—“

You bumped your shoulder into his as you passed him to get in bed. It still felt a little weird to you, a little too intimate for just friends, but you were so tired at this point that you couldn’t care anymore.

“Thank you, Poe. Really.”

Poe nodded his head in acknowledgement, bringing his hand down to brush away the hair that was about to fall into your face. His touch was burning.

“Get some sleep, Y/N.”

You closed your eyes, melting into Poe’s sheets. They smelled like him and it calmed you. You settled in, feeling sleep creeping up on you quick. You were surprised when you didn’t feel Poe next to you, assuming he would try and go back to sleep himself. You cracked an eye open and saw him sitting in a chair, watching you.

“Weirdo.” You teased. “Are you really gonna sit there and watch me sleep?”

“Can’t have you sneaking out.”

“I’m not going to sneak out. You ruined my plan.”

Poe smiled tiredly, his own exhaustion kicking in. You recognized it immediately. He was about to give up sleep to let you sleep in the same way you were giving up sleep to help him prepare for his mission. It was a never-ending circle. You scooted yourself back and patted the now empty space.

“Come get some sleep.”

Poe’s eyes widened slightly and he looked at you questioningly.

“What?”

You perched yourself up on your elbow.

“You’re seriously telling me you’d rather sit there for however many hours you’re making me sleep instead of getting some rest? That kind of makes you a hypocrite you know.” Poe was silent and staring at you. Your face fell and you spoke quietly, the teasing manner now gone. “It’s fine, Poe. I can see you’re still tired and you need sleep, too. Come on.”

You held your breath as you watched Poe. Your thoughts were running wild. Maybe you overstepped, took the flirting a little too far. But you were genuinely concerned.

Poe’s thoughts were all over the place as well. He was tired and really wanted a little more sleep. Plus, the idea of curling up to next to you was sotempting. Poe nodded and crossed the room, both of your hearts skipping beats as he slid in next to you.

“Told you so.” You mumbled with a tired laugh.

Poe just shushed you, not trusting himself not to say something stupid with how close you two were. He was a confident man, but that confidence had begun to diminish whenever you were near him. He supposed that’s why he flirted with you so hard, because it came so naturally to him since he was that way with everyone. But here in his room, in his bed no less where things were more cozy and intimate, he couldn’t trust himself to not say what was really on his mind. He couldn’t tell you how he wanted to pull you closer, have your head rest on his chest while his fingers wove through your hair. No, he couldn’t tell you that. Not right now. Poe was a talker and he knew it was only a matter of time before something slipped out that he wasn’t ready to tell you yet.

Poe fell asleep before you did. You moved just a hair closer to him, admiring the way his eyelashes rested gently on his cheek. You fought off a laugh as you realized that you were now the one watching him sleep like a weirdo. But you couldn’t help it.  

You were lucky to have him in your life. From his kindness to his loyalty, Poe was someone you enjoyed being around all the time. You would be forever grateful that he came into your life. If you had to swallow your feelings to not ruin your friendship, you would. The last thing you wanted to was to scare him off. He was too important to you to lose.

But there was a thought that crossed your mind as your eyes fluttered closed.

His bed was barely bigger than yours and it definitely wasn’t more comfortable. Everyone had the same sheets and mattress, you knew that from the numerous times you had accidentally fallen asleep in Jessika or Kaydel’s rooms. You wondered if he knew this when he brought you back to his room. As sleep overtook you, you let yourself go into a dream where you allowed yourself to believe for just a minute that maybe, just maybe, he liked you too.

[aesthyuckic]

AVENOIR | l.dh - VIGINTI

(gif not mine - credit to rightful owner)

Genre: High School AU (at beginning) ; Tarot Reader!Witch!Hyuck

Word Count: 2.7K

Warnings: (bold if in use) slow but with a purpose, belief contradictions, mentions of r*pe, blood, swearing, violence(??), mentions of abuse; this chapter is intense overall and can be triggering to some.

Pairings: Lee Donghyuck (Haechan) x Reader (F)

QUEEN OF PENTACLES: practicality, creature comforts, financial security

They all found themselves out in the main room that early morning. The boy and the girl sat on the couch together as the three beings somehow were able to figure out a way to communicate everything. Cosimia sat scrunched up at the end as she looked at the carpet. To be honest, she was so tired the whole thing felt like a dream or something...

The sun started to peak out over the horizon, providing a little yellow light in the purple sky that would soon fade to warmer colors as the day began already. It was just reminder how long it had been to them.

“So, I’m just never gonna be able to see the future again?” She asked so quietly as she seemed so small.

Donghyuck looked over to the woman who simply nodded at the question which he was quick to mimick, “Yeah... Your mom said the gift you had had to go to me, in a different form for me in order for her to meet your request of me living... It’s so there would be a reason for me to come out of the coma because before apparently there was nothing that was worth keeping me alive for exactly... I’m sorry, though, that you had to lose your ability for me.”

“Are you kidding me? I rather have you alive any day than have my ability!” She said as she reached out and hugged him, to which he hugged back as he felt so secure at how tightly she held him. “It terrifies me... knowing you would’ve died otherwise...”

“Still, I’m so sorry... I know how much it meant to you and you had it taken away without warning or any knowledge of it. As it is, it effects your part of the job we have... It’s all so messy and it’s because of me.”

“It was never your fault to begin with, Hyuck. If anything it was mine, I’m the reason Ten had a vendetta against you and the reason he shot you and I was the one to ask for you back. We’ll figure everything out in the end. Johnny knows I’ve been struggling, I’ll figure it out. It’s not your fault at all, don’t blame yourself. Besides it’s not all bad, I have you and my mom now.”

“You shouldn’t blame yourself either then. All you did to Ten was stick up for us, me more than anything. He shot me because of himself, not you. You saved me, Cosi, even if it doesn’t seem like it. You’re the whole reason I’m here with you right now, don’t you see?”

The girl already had tears well up in her eyes but he just lured them out with his words. Even after the hug, they had been there holding each other’s arms and it was the first time he broke away only to use his hands to cup her cheek so he wipe her tears away with his thumb. He could touch her with ease now, it still felt special as she would let him, the simple things like brush wouldn’t send her flying either. Somehow he could feel the rise and fall of her heart when it came as gentle.

She nodded, almost falling into the warmth of his hand that calmed her. It wasn’t long before they switched places as the boy was just as tired if not more than the girl. There were bags under his eyes from staying up late. She noticed that as she played with his hair. His eyes were closed as he began to relax and feel his eyes become heavier. Though he opened his eyes to be greeted with the girl’s and it started to reminded him of last night. Especially when her eyes began to dance from place to place with a small smile on her face. Oh, how he wanted it so bad...

“I swear if you kiss her.” The ghost of her mother gritted which he waited on at this point

He sighed out of frustration before he sat up, “I really hate this.”

“You’ll get use to it.” Cosimia chuckled, assuming he was talking about the new found ability. “They’ll be a time where you can’t imagine yourself without.”

“I hope so.” He hummed. “It’s annoying as of right now. And no offense, most of it is because of your mom.”

“She’s just doing her job as a mom probably... but speaking of her. You said she’s been around you since you woke up in the hospital?”

“Yeah, she has.”

“Well... it’s obvious she’s been around us for awhile then... She heard me and she’s been with you. Is there anything she’s told you besides what you’ve already said?”

He could hear her voice shake in worry when she asked her question, yet it was so subtle. Her breaths seemed to get tired, the type you felt in your soul that hurt almost. He was left concerned and puzzled by the curiosity and anxiousness that filled her eyes as she waited eagerly for an answer. He shook his head.

“No,” He finally verbalized his answer she waited on. “Nothing you don’t already know...”

“She didn’t tell you about my dad... or anything...?” She asked. “I don’t know I thought she would’ve...”

He looked over to her mom, confused himself as he felt a random way of aderline wash over him like something big was to come, “It’s not my place to tell you something about her that’s so personal like that.”

“I feel like... now’s the time to tell you what happened.” The girl sighed as looked at her hands in her lap. “We’re heading back there soon and-“

“If you’re not ready you don’t have to!” He was quick to interrupt in case she didn’t want to go any further.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be a hundred percent ready, Hyuck, that’s the problem. It’s apart of healing, isn’t it? Besides after the months we’ve spend together and all we’ve been through, especially recent, I trust you a lot... You’re the person I trust most and the one I’ve trusted the most in my whole life. That’s what matters, I think. I already told Johnny anyway. It hurt like hell and I wanted you to be the first one I told, but we were about to lose our jobs and get sent back home if I didn’t so I had too.”

She couldn’t look him in the eye that middle. She fiddled with her fingers in her lap to keep the attention there. He could see her blink, rather rapidly even if she was looking down. She seemed to be holding it all in, maybe it was getting painful in the way you’re throat ached from trying to hold back loud cries. He hoped not though...

“Still, you don’t have to.” He spoke up, softly.

“I know I don’t, but I want to.” Her voice quivered a bit along with her breaths. “In some regards, anyway... But, that day, when Ms. Nelson tried to get me to tutor you. You know how you wanted me to do it after school but I couldn’t?”

“Yeah,” He answered, softly once again. “I don’t think I can really forget that day, especially now, you know.”

“And you know that one day you saw me walking towards school on our lunch break and I was crying? And then after when I went missing from school for a few days and you came to bring my homework? I said my dad would kill you if he knew you were there...”

She had reminded him of the very beginning, the one he had kind of forgotten about with everything happening around them lately. He still nodded at her words even though it was so blurred and like it never happened really, much like a feeling a dream would leave you with. It also made it seem like it had been longer than almost a year in his eyes.

“I know you saw my bruises that day we were brought together and you seemed to notice them more which each time we crossed each other’s path.” She took a deep breath. “I think you could already tell I was abused by him... It’s kind of obvious, isn’t it? Wasn’t it? There was a strong feeling in you when you thought about that possibility too, right? I know you didn’t notice how often I went missing from schools day at a time constantly, no one did but the staff. I know everyone, including you, thought I was the weird girl because of how I acted. I didn’t talk much either, especially with other people and when I did I uttered things people found creepy and that you would’ve too at the time since you weren’t warmed up to me. I did because it was safe that way for everyone. My dad had always told me if I had any friends, especially if they were boys, that he kill them in front of me and then me... That day you tried to get a ride back to school? He saw and he got upset because he thought you were my friends and you were boys on top of it... I think you know it didn’t end well. I could see it coming when the abuse happen... I had vision since I was young. I didn’t pay attention to them much until I was around eleven and it was because this one was bad. I brushed it off like I had with my previous ones thinking it was a terrible thought or something. The thing is, is that it happened... Similar ones kept popping up in my head and they’d happen too. I always knew it was coming and I’d run and hide from it but it only made things worse for me. No sight for awhile afterward and I’d always still happen in the end. It drained me, made me want to die so bad. It was hard, you know, continue living in a body that caused you pain and felt like it wasn’t even your own... It was hard having everyday be lonely at school and then knowing you’d come home to be hit... and then... and then be raped by your own father...”

She struggled to choke out the last part of what she had said before tears began to fall rapidly fron her eyes. To be honest, Donghyuck hadn’t expected that word to leave her mouth or maybe he just hoped it wouldn’t. She was trying so hard to hold back so she could speak.

“I didn’t even want to call it that when it happened...” She confessed. “Johnny was the one that said it when I told him so I accepted it after awhile, knowing he was right. I don’t like saying it but it’s true... I felt so dirty whenever it happen and I couldn’t say or do anything about it! He said he’d kill me if I did and I felt ashamed at that point because what did I do to have that happen? Something so horrible and disgusting? I had to have done something to deserve it, right?! I couldn’t do anything to prevent it either, I just had to live with it. And fuck, I can’t even have kids if I want to in the future. If he found out I was pregnant, he would’ve been mad and if had found out I had multiple abortions he would’ve been even more mad! It was all his fault though! He’s the reason I had them, he’s the reason I had so many. I couldn’t go nine months carrying a thing like that anyway! It would’ve just been a constant, personified reminder in the world of what he had done to me... The baby, when it became a baby... they would’ve been so wrong to me, they would’ve been loveless when it came into the world... I couldn’t do that to them, it wouldn’t have even their fault but they’d suffer because of it.”

The boy began to understand her and everything a lot more... He realized why she freaked out when he laid his head on her shoulder when they were on the bus that one time. He realized why she wouldn’t sleep in the same bed with him for the longest time and when she did why she stayed as far away from him as possible. Why she would flinch whenever he tapped her shoulder in the store or something similar. Why she asked that one time if the boys had done inappropriate things to her when she passed out from smoking for the first time. So many memories like that came to his head as she told him what truly happened in the walls of the sunny orange home she was trapped in. He understood it now.

It was all so clear now. He also realized why she was so mature and calm in the beginning and even now with everyone but him and her friends, maybe. Even now, she didn’t like people touching her besides Donghyuck. The only real reason he was allowed was because of the amount of time they spent together. He never overstepped his boundaries with her, respectful of them too. She trust him, he was pure at heart. He didn’t do things to hurt her. She’d protect him and in return, he always did the same even when she didn’t need it. She always knew he had a heart of gold, it’s the reason she felt her future self at time had chosen him.

She shook violently next to him as she help herself in her own arms as it looked like she stared at the coffee table in front of him. She couldn’t tell by the the tears that created bluriness in her eyes and the adrenaline in her veins. She was busy suppressing her cries while he was at a lost of words. It was too early... He didn’t know what to do or say exactly, physical affection didn’t seem like a bright idea given the topic. He wanted nothing more than to be there for her, though. It was a shock when she threw herself on him, careful to avoid his wound as she grabbed fistfuls of his shirt. He could feel her sobbing into his shoulder as she did so.

“I didn’t want it... I didn’t want it...” She was able to croak out.

He took a deep breath as he carefully wrapped his arms around her to bring her gently closer to him. She didn’t seem to mind the way she relaxed a bit and the way her cries seem to get a bit quieter. He felt special, to be the first person she told, besides Johnny but she chose him and wanted to do it. He was also the first that could touch her and the first that she had felt secure with in every way possible. He was gentle when gathering the strands of her now dark hair that fell so he could tuck them behind her ear. He was aware she was strong, always has been, just not how strong until that moment. He continued to stroke her hair as she cried out so much of the emotion she has built up over time.

“Of course you didn’t.” He whispered, softly. “You didn’t deserve it in slightest either... It was never your fault, I know you know that. You can’t blame yourself for what happened to you. It was all on him if you can call that sick fuck that really... It won’t happen anymore, I would never let it happen if it ever came to a situation like that. You’re away from him now, you won’t see him again and I intend to keep it that way no matter what.”

He looked over at her mother who had been silent the whole time. Her eyes looked like they were sad hearing everything that has spilled out. He also seemed to be sad as well as shocked with a little bit of guilt. The truth was, her mom had witness the whole thing in real time in her plane of the living and dead. She could never truly do anything but ask that the girl had a gift to be prepared for it, if you could ever be prepared for trauma.

“I want to kill him for it, so badly.”

[sanflowerseeds]

Just Enough

Genre: Fluff / Romance

Pairing: Choi San x Jung Wooyoung

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: Too sweet your teeth may actually rot.

Synopsis: Wooyoung made the decision to not tiptoe around the subject anymore. As they say, just rip the band-aid once and for all. For better or for worse, he was going to say it. He needed to know.  

Wooyoung sat on the floor, back pressed against the practice room mirror and sweat-drenched t-shirt clinging to his overheated skin. That room was one of his favorite places, his safe space, somewhere he could be alone for at least a little while to just think and unravel. With his head leaned back and ragged breaths escaping his parted lips, he stretched his legs, feeling the familiar ache in his muscles after hours of dancing. Beyond just practicing, he danced to try and make sense of the web of thoughts weaving inside his head. 

Around him, everything seemed to be happening all at once. Too much work, a comeback, too many responsibilities, a tour, and all the pressure to succeed were weighing down on him. At the end of the day, he felt as if life passed by in a never-ending rush, like his world spun faster than what science ever said possible and it made him dizzy sometimes.

He thought it was funny, though, how amidst all the chaos some things moved so unhurriedly it’d be difficult for one to notice what the hell was going on unless they knew exactly what to look for. He certainly didn’t miss the irony in it.

The more Wooyoung thought about it, the more he realized he couldn’t be the only one to grasp the subtle changes in everyday actions. There was no way he was making it all up in his head, right? All the small hints were there, surrounding him - them - meant for only them to see and maybe finally understand.  

Wooyoung wanted nothing more than to understand. 

Touches and caresses were not so playful anymore. They now burned and left behind a distinct longing for warm, gentle fingers. Tickling didn’t evoke bursts of laughter, instead, it caused goosebumps to rise and electricity to run all along heated skin.

It’s been long since their hugs have simply been brotherly and playful. Now, arms wrapped firmly around each other and hearts beat at the same pace, wishing to stay close for just a while longer.

Words were not as simple since they started to hold an almost indiscernible, insinuative undertone, each syllable layered by implied emotions neither of them knew how to disguise.

And their eyes… Eyes that once held nothing more than friendship and platonic admiration, now glimmered with desire and veiled passion. 

“Young-ah?” San’s inquisitive voice came through the door as he peeked inside and took Wooyoung out of his reverie. The smile that graced San’s face the moment he spotted him caused Wooyoung’s heart to do a little flip in his chest and warmth to spread up his neck. Wooyoung snorted, rolling his eyes at the implications of his body's silly reactions to such a commonplace act. San didn’t seem to notice and in a few quick steps he reached the other, seating by his side and making himself comfortable while he threw a more than welcomed arm over Wooyoung’s shoulders. “I knew I’d find you here. You’ve been weird all day, what’s bothering you?”

Wooyoung shifted a little, his body easily molding into San’s familiar embrace. That was it. The chance presented itself and he made the decision to not tiptoe around the subject anymore. As they say, just rip the band-aid once and for all. For better or for worse, he was going to say it. He needed to know.  

“Sannie…” he turned his face to look straight at the other man, meeting a slightly raised eyebrow and curious eyes staring right back at him. He has always been mesmerized by San's eyes. They held a billion constellations, the light of infinite stars that at that instant, he realized, he wouldn't mind spending forever trying to count. “Do you think…" he didn't quite know how to put it in words. "Have we changed?”

Blunt, straight-forward and a little clueless, if he was being honest. When it came to San, Wooyoung was at a loss for words more often than he would like to admit. That was probably the reason why, running the risk of seeming too clingy, he resorted to expressing himself through actions rather than flimsy conversation, even though he knew he could be a real blabbermouth, for the most part.

Right now, it didn't matter anyway. Because for Wooyoung, there was only the light brush of San's fingers on his forehead when moving Wooyoung's dark bangs out of his eyes. He could only focus on the warmth radiating from San's soft palm when it cupped one of his cheeks. It was just too easy to lean into the touch and want to risk it all when the lines of San's facial expression softened and his smile grew freely, dimples framing the corner of his upturned lips.

Without a doubt, Wooyoung was whipped.

He watched as San leaned his face closer, their mouths merely inches apart. The anticipation was electrifying and expectation hung heavy in the air around them, the thick silence disrupted only by Wooyoung’s heartbeat pounding in his own ears and San’s gentle tone of voice when he finally decided to speak. 

“I think,” San said, averting his eyes to look at Wooyung’s lips and back to staring at him once again, unconcealed want reflected in his dark irises  “We’re still changing…”

Wooyoung licked his lips, all the while very aware of it being an open invitation, one he was glad San accepted. There were no second thoughts when their mouths finally met in a kiss they both knew it was long coming. It was soft, just a tentative touch of lips at first, while they assessed each other’s reactions. 

When San pulled away, it was more than instinct that led Wooyoung to tangle his fingers on San’s t-shirt collar and pull him back in, now for a fully open-mouthed kiss. There was purpose in it and even if their tongues moved slowly, gently caressing one another, there was nothing innocent about it. It lit Wooyoung’s brain on fire and spread heat throughout his whole body. 

He always thought it was plain bullshit that people would see fireworks when they finally got to kiss “the one”, that it was all a Hollywood fib. But when San’s hand moved to Wooyoung’s nape, holding his head in place so he could deepen the kiss, all Wooyoung could see behind his closed eyelids were explosions of greens, purples, and blues, and so many other different colors that painted the canvas of his emotions in overwhelmingly beauty. 

Reluctantly, they parted, but stayed close still, foreheads touching while they tried to calm their uneven breathing. They smiled blissfully unaware of how much time had passed. It could have been seconds, minutes, even hours wouldn't have felt long enough. They didn't talk, no words were able, or necessary, to convey their feelings. 

At last, San caressed Wooyoung's lower lip with the pad of his thumb and with one last quick peck moved away from the other's personal space. 

"Come on," San stood up and ran a hand through his messy hair while checking himself in the mirror. "Everyone is ready to go home, that's why they sent me to get you." He winked playfully at the other before stretching his hand to help Wooyoung on his feet.

Where he was looking for answers, Wooyoung ended up with that many more questions. It was scary, but all the possibilities were also exciting. It became clear to him that it didn't matter what the future held in storage for them - if just being friends or something more - he didn't need to worry because for as long as he had San by his side, everything was going to be ok.

For Wooyoung, he realized, that was enough.

And as they left the practice room together, laced fingers and silly grins, Wooyoung couldn't help but wonder. Was that it?

Was it... love?

--------------------------------------------

Yay, I'm back (kinda) with a lovely Woosan this time. I was feeling down and needed a pick me up, and what's better than fluff and friends figuring out their feelings for each other 😉 As always, I hope you enjoyed the reading and any feedback is very welcomed! My ask is open so don't be shy and let me know what you think 😊