#my other friend texts me just now
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idk what it says about me when my first response to someone hurting me is immediate apathy but. it is what it is
#i have been nagging my friends both irl and in our gc#to let me know if theyre coming to the tattoo convention tomorrow#they ALL know how badly i wanted to go since this is the first year ill be able to#and only two people replied yes or no in our gc#the rest didnt even bother and i brought it up so manh fucking times#then yesterday was the bday of one of those friends#found it odd he never said anything about a bday party but maybe he wasnt up#for it so nbd!#my other friend texts me just now#to INVITE me to his party thats in a few hours bc! he forgot to invite me!#he remembered to invite EVERYONE else in our gc including random other people#but forgot me :) who he says is 'a good friend' and keeps asking me for medical advice and favors#i told my friend i cant make it and she said 'hes sad about that'#i replied i dont care lol#but not in a 'im mad but petty' kinda way i just. really dont care rn#i do a little since im posting this obviouslg#but also this just made me. lose any care i had for this person?#i know i can become very cold and mean if im hurt#and right now i feel. nothing towards this guy whose supposed to be my friend#this became my defense mechanism the past year when im hurt#i just stop caring and idk if its the medical field#that changed me into this but. idc ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#delete later#just had to vent for a sec bc i dont wanna tell my friend all of this#the last thing i wanna do is put a common friend in the middle of all of this#ah well
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Aromantic Jon who doesn't know they're aro who treats romantic relationships like yet another chore they have to do now that they're an adult. They're in their twenties now. They've put it off for long enough but they're going to have to do it eventually, it's just what adults do. They sort of approach every relationship like an obligation they're checking off of their to-do list. People keep breaking up with them for it. They used to think everyone else also felt like being in a romantic relationship was a huge burden, but after a few comments landed weird they now suspect it's just yet another short-coming of theirs (they've never been good at understanding other people anyways).
They don't think about it for most of the plot of the podcast, due to the. Everything. Until maybe around S4. But by that point they've basically decided that that doesn't matter any more. Too much time, effort, and risk for anyone not already involved (and no one who IS involved is an option). It's a massive weight off their shoulders. They draw no larger conclusions from this.
#aro jon#obligatory do not tag this with martin or j//mart please and thank you#tbh one of the reasons i 'just wasn't interested in dating right now'#was that 'i barely have enough energy for my friends let alone an actual PARTNER'#'would i have to text them a lot? see them multiple times a week??'#i remember eating dinner with my extended family about a year or so back#and my cousin was w/ his gf (and maybe her family as well?) instead (he was visiting her like every day)#and someone (i think it was my uncle?) told me that it was normal for people who were in love to want to spend all their time together#which i thought was fucking. Weird As Hell. who has the time?? the energy???? to hang out with the SAME PERSON every day??????#when my family pointed out that my parents see each other all the time i was like#'yeah. they live together. they'd have to go out of their way to avoid that'#and i was so fucking confused. because i sort of thought that the USUAL romantic relationship thing was#you go out with them like once a week#and maybe you stay over at their place occasionally#and then you move in#this was around the time when i was questioning if i was aro. no i did not realize then and there that the answer was YES#fuck it. maintagging this. aro jon rights!!#jonathan sims#jon sims#tma#the magnus archives#also implied autistic jon. that man is so auDHD to me#no i'm not projecting. shut up.
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when i was little i had above average reading and writing comprehension + i was creative so all the adults around me constantly expressed how much they believed i would become an amazing prestigious author as an adult. little do they know im now an unemployed highschool dropout writing doomed gayass transformers fanfiction on my notes app in a decrepit hole in the ground and i really AM the most ultimate writer on the planet
#i actually forgot i was allowed to write for so long and only just remembered like a few months ago#ive always been very into art and i love drawing and i draw all the time and have been drawing forever and so i guess over time i allowed#the external categorization of me as an artist to become my bounds????? like. i have a friend who writes so. i am the artist and if i write#i am gonna be like infringing on their identity. WHAT. genuinely makes no sense who made me think this way bruh#ewww ive been infected w the bruh disease recently i literally cant stop saying bruh not even bro i just keep saying bruh i almost said boi#the other day what is HAPPENING TO MEEEE#is this what being a transformers fan is#textpost#text post#roykiller07 bangers#art#transformers#transformers one#yall what is the tag for optimus prime x megatron i love those freaks sm#i made myself sound worse for the bit i promise im an unemployed hs dropout in a cool gay autistic way not a sad unfortunate burdenous way#justice for sad unfortunate burdenous unemployed dropouts though ppl judge them way too harshly omg#these tags have become a stream of consciousness now. afix your eyes to the funny joke part of the post pretend the tags arent even here
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Ow oof ouch my feelings (did extensive research and editing on a long-term project for someone with whom I've collaborated closely for years and am not even in the acknowledgements, although I know what academia is like and didn't expect to be in the first place) (it's not a personal slight but still ow oof ouch my feelings and ow oof ouch all my uncredited work lol)
#Ow my pride ow my sense of professional Something but mostly just ow my feelings#The reaction is first and foremost adolescent and I will acknowledge that lol#My feelings hort#Reading the acknowledgements like did our situationship (me editing this book) mean nothing lmfaoooooo#Honestly it horts my feelings because I have now had other experience with personal/professional relationships#Where I do research or editing or translation for friends#And they do like. Credit me for my work lol#Feelings!!! Hurt!!! Bad!!!!#Book still very good though!!!!!!#Gotta send a congrats text like for real the book is great I'm just a histrionic baby lol#[No Bless Yous For Giacomo voice] No Editing Credits For Raya?!
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enterprise text posts: featuring trip (and friends) in Situations
#*meme voice* its because they're always in those damn situations#star trek enterprise#star trek#enterprise text posts#trip tucker#doctor phlox#t'pol#travis mayweather#malcolm reed#hoshi sato#jonathan archer#this was originally *just* trip focused but i kept finding ones that fit other people in proximity to him so now we're here.#with a trip (and friends) theme. just- roll with it please.#anyway. he's not like other girls!!!!! he doesn't die when he's killed!!!!!!!#i quote the bug in the tent scene at least once a week. i see a weird bug in my house i say ARE WE ALLOWED TO STUN ALIEN LIFE FORMS??#the poor little meow meow one...... forgive me.#injury tw#blood tw
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Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.
#I've sort of made a new friend? Like we met at the same art group and he's also trans which was like pleasantly surprising in our small town#but like. We have Differences Of Opinion#and it's not totally his fault because it sounds like he's had a Lot of bad shit in his past that's obviously made him wary and closed off#but like. He's slightly older than me (only 4 years) and keeps blaming a load of his problems on other trans folks?#like you know the type. The like 'all these nonbinary/other identities the kids are doing are complicating shit'#the 'it hurts to see people younger than me inc. kids get hormones thrown at them when I still can't get 'em' (which... yeah not even true)#and he's told me himself he doesn't engage much with the queer community bc it's too 'toxic'#and like. I can absolutely understand why he could've had some bad experiences esp. since he has some mental health shit going on#but he wants to be friends bc he doesn't know anyone else going through the medical shit and it's like. Yeah no shit you don't?#you decided the community you'd find them in is toxic? and that people in them are doing being trans wrong?#and I think if he was just some guy online I'd like roll my eyes and ignore him#but he's a real person in my vicinity and I feel fucking bad for him#and I can see how much self loathing he has and how much that probably informs the bullshit#like he told me he thinks that trans men and cis men are fundamentally different categories and trans men will never be cis men#but not in a 'the experiences are just different and come with different perspectives way'#in like a self defeating way. Like a I just have to settle for being a trans man way.#and it made me SO SAD#like bro#I'm so sorry for whoever the fuck made you feel like you're fighting an unwinnable battle#and I want to be a friend to him. I want him to feel like there's other queer people out there and there's friends and hope#but also I genuinely could see him being the kind of person who would get really angry at you for no fault of your own#like I already get the distinct feeling he resents me a little#like obviously not too much since he still wants to hang#but he's been trying and failing to get HRT for years and I got it super quickly basically by sheer luck/a doctor who looks out for me#like I'm so fucking lucky. And I just genuinely feel like he's the kind of person who might take that personally.#I just do not think I have the fucking. Emotional tool kit to salvage this shit#But I also can't exactly text him and say sorry I don't think we should hang out so. What do.#.....I wasn't even LOOKING for a new friend! I have enough friends!!! I wanted to make clay faces and look at pretty buildings dammit!!!#now I have to be the emotionally mature one who goes hmmm maybe let's not blame other depressed trans kids for our problems buddy#I'm just gonna have to be like. Upfront about my stance and if he doesn't like it well he doesn't have to hang out with me
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five stages of grief but it’s five stages of social anxiety
#walk with me#this morning i got a bouquet delivered to me at work randomly out of nowhere#the note basically said that i could count of the person even if for just some words of advice or a gesture that could make me laugh or mad#count on the person**#i immediately knew it’s from one of my coworkers and ngl i have a very charged?? relationship with them#in the sense that it’s very intense and we can be laughing joking and teasing or we can be really angry and pissed with each other#it can have very extreme emotions even if we just chill most of the time#idk why i think this whole year i’ve been leaning on them more?? and we started texting more often too#so we’ve been more properly friends lately#and for one i was SO EMBARRASSED for getting flowers bc my coworkers tease the shit out of everyone myself included and i’m not used to#gestures like that so obviously they were on my ass all day about it#and everyone asked about them and it’s EMBARRASSING to get that much attention#(me: i wanna be a singer / also me: can’t stand to be the center of attention)#anyway the person that sent them avoided me yesterday out of nowhere??? idk if they thought i was mad bc i didn’t reply to their texts all#weekend but i literally never reply to anyone and pms was a bitch and i just wanted to be alone#so they didn’t talk to me on monday i was mostly just working listening to music bc i was still emotional whatever#and today i did talk to my other coworkers bc it’s the day when my favorite coworker comes in and i talk to them a lot so i engaged more#and they were still ignoring me and then the flowers came in and we didn’t say a single word to each other today we just texted#they told me they sent them and that ‘they forgot’ what they sent and that it was just meant to be a nice gesture#and that bc they wanted to ‘surprise’ me and make me feel better bc i said i was sad at one point?? idek#i literally just want to tell them I HAD PMS ITS FINE I FEEL SUICIDAL ALL THE TIME and move on#bc now i’m second guessing everything they’re saying bc i thought we were friends and there’s no reason why friends can’t send each other#flowers or whatever but they’ve been avoiding me and then they keep answering my texts really weirdly and i always misinterpret flirting bc#i’m never outright romantic with anyone?? plus we’re FRIENDS i should have no reason to think that’s changed#but they’re being so weird and why get me FLOWERS??? idk get me a chocolate or a coffee i don’t NEED flowers#and then i said it was random to give me flowers out of nowhere and they’re like no it’s serious bro what’s serious??????#your feelings towards me?? or just your will to cheer me up???#if they don’t reply straight up in their next texts i’m gonna flat out say but it was a platonic gesture right???#so yeah i’m overthink getting flowers bc what’s the social code for that and what is one supposed to do when they get flowers from a friend#delivered to their joint workplace where everyone can see them and think they’re from a partner or something
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Not too bad a day at the office yesterday--helps that we can use our patio in nice weather again 😌--leading into a decent arm day workout 💪🏽 (despite how long it took to get a bench for chest press work 😩)
#ore no kao#was a bit sneaky with a guy or two nearby in the locker room lol#also ffffuck saw my big gym crush two nights in a row and both times we noticed each other more (and pretty sure he made me blush yday lol)#and we still haven't gotten to talk 😩#[or more i still havent gotten out of my head to say something hoping he would first lol]#(*made me blush Tues since i was t9o tired to post this last night lol)#maybe i'll take my coworker's advice and just find myself working out near him with weight needing a spot... 🤔#it hit me last night we've eyed each other here/there for 3-4 months already 😳#[i shouldnt be as shy about trying to talk with him since i literally just had my friend over again on sat for some fun lol but 😩]#i feel like we should've still texted a bit more by now though but he does seem to not be a texter or indeed too busy... hm
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You must be so freaking pumped rn. The writers are considering making Whistlepaw a POV!!!
I am away from Tumblr for ONE NIGHT, one night where I'm going to a play with some friends and they post it THEN.
My god this is terrible for my heart, they are going to kill me eventually with this. Yes I Am Hyped.
Also, @vulturequills' drawing of my design of Whis is in this article. They Know About Me Lol.
#asks#Also sorry for no Whis I forgot to prepare it and the night got me busy tank#The next few days might also get a bit wild because I've got a big drawing I want to draw and I'm going to begin on that thing soon#And trust me I will be focussing on that. Sorry but the Whisses might just be on the sketch because I'm doing that drawing#The amount of Whis art that is literally just Frostwhistle unless it's a daily Whis is also Really Funny to me#They've also kot taken a single daily Whis despite there being MANY to choose from#I've got Whis with family. Mentors. Other cats. Doing silly things#But They don't want to Openly Aknowledge my existence or something I Don't Know#They are driving me mad tho. I literally just sent a wall of text to a friend about this. She is also into warrior cats#But only the Dutch translations so she's still stuck in Avos (hasn't even read those yet) so I can't give her the Full Infordump#But I did have to tell her that the writers of those books we both read Know I Exist#I do have to admit I hope they're A Bit Intimidated by those three years (and going!) of Whis#This post does give me a fucking MASSIVE boost to not give up#I was maybe going to finish at Ivypool's heart BUT NOW I'M KEEPING ON GOING UNTIL THAT SE SHOWS UP
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I am going to CRY. of JOY/hj
#it feels like recently just generally#i've been treated a lot kinder than usual#even before today#my friend hugged me and let me talk about my interests and drew a character of mine#my mum got me a brownie (sorry sis if you see this--)#i chatted with a really nice moot at like midnight#and now when i'm not feeling great i get a RUSH of positivity from ye#idk if its just because my post coincidentally hit all ur dashboards or something but#i love you all. so so much.#it's not something i tell people irl enough. i should try to more. even if its over text or once a week.#i may be affectionate with ye online but irl not so much lol#i guess it just. makes me nervous of what others think. being affectionate to your friends with hugs and i love yous.#sorry for the rant hsshdbcejcjjed#talking
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im soooo gone with bakudeku... everyday i end my night with listening to shout baby and datte atashi. both songs just make everything better.
They know each other best, isn't it amazing that they grew up TOGETHER. Despite the bullying, fallouts or mistakes they're burdened with, both were and still are in each other's sphere, always orbiting...
'I grow infinitely smaller whenever I am infront of you.'
IMO this quote is so fitting for them, both felt this way about each other at some point in time. but as kudo said, izuku didnt give up and believed in katsuki's heart... so i'm glad that we got to see katsuki's atonement.
#i cant remember for the life of me where i saw this quote but it was a really good one#JUST BKDK OKAY THEYRE JUST INCREDIBLE IN THE WAY THEY SEE EACH OTHER.#IDK HOW PEOPLE CANT SEE THEIR MAGIC#lookie hoo theyre now just 1 yearning and 1 repressed. pls become 2 endeared instantly thanks#bkdk#bakudeku#ktdk#sorry random thoughts i love my childhood friends and met one today#and i just kept thinking about bkdk this bkdk that#isnt it incredible how theyre each other's constant. be it good or bad#sorry ive lost my mind overlistening to my bkdk playlist#how many ways can i say i love bkdk in text form
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the consequences of my actions are upon me
#AUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH#<- hasnt been keeping in touch at all with old friends from highschool and now theyre all upset at me and mass DMing me#like#i don't even know what to say#it is my fault and my bad lol augh. just#i don't know#it's complicated#i don't know what to tell them half the time anymore and i should be putting the effort to keep the relationships but#man. i don't know. lol there is no excuse i am just really bad at texting it's not the same since we don't see each other every day anymore#... and one of said friends is the type of friend that always has some negative remark disguised as a joke to say to you#and i don't feel like putting up with that either anymore. but again. ITS A ME PROBLEM 😭#because i havent cut them off or anything. and i don't want to#i just let it linger#also the fact that i moved away i don't know. i straight up cannot see them in person anymore to catch up#so it's all through text#man#i don't know. i seriously think i was born to be a monk lost in the mountains or something#i think it all started because i was not able to go to college immediately after graduating#so i hid in shame from everyone and now i am used to not talking to anybody that knew me back then#out of fear of being judged for being a ''loser''
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haikaveh... save me haikaveh...
i KNOW it's been talked about to death but. the haikaveh research project. it literally haunts my mind. i cannot get over the implications. alhaitham going through his school life as someone that most people dont even really know about because he keeps to himself and doesn't socialize, with kaveh being the one exception to that, finding his way into his life as his Best Friend, and then leading to alhaithams one and only time he participated in a research topic. his bio says he only ever did ONE joint project!!! one!!! the one with kaveh his best friend and i think also his only friend at the time!!!! and then it ended in not only the project falling apart but also alhaithams only friendship. kavehs best friendship. they were each others closest person. they had no family around - alhaithams parents having died when he was young and his grandmother dying before he joined the akademiya, and kaveh's dad dying when he was young and his mom having moved to fontaine. like even if you dont look at it through a romantic lens it's still undeniable how important they were [and are] to each other..........
i'm getting off track but my point is very specifically for alhaitham, the one time he got close to someone, made a friend, even agreed to join one(1) group project ever, it ended in disaster. it led him into a fight so bad that his one and only friend said he regretted that friendship!!!! it was so bad alhaitham left the project and he and kaveh didnt speak for ages until they just happened to run into each other again at the tavern!!!!! like obviously it has to be incredibly awful for both of them but i just think how this probably had alhaitham in the cynical mindset that friendships and collaborations like that might just never work out for him because the one time he let someone into his life, it blew up on him and he was all alone again. even though alhaitham never seems to care much if people dont like him, that clearly cant still apply to someone he was exceptionally close to. like if he didnt care he woudlnt have been the one to take his name off the project and mutually not speak to kaveh...... kavehs words are the ones that hit the most significantly to alhaitham.......... kaveh is said/implied to have had at least some other friends while at school / people knew who he was, but not so much alhaitham. people didnt know him and the ones that did just knew he didnt socialize/he was not easy to get along with. he only had kaveh and then, for a while, he lost him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#the number of times i have reread alhaitham character story 4 and kaveh character story 5. like. dont look at me. kfjsdklfh#on one hand im tempted to think alhaitham would have a fully cynical view of friendship#and be like USELESS NEVER AMOUNTS TO ANYTHING but. i kinda dont think he works like that#well i dont think he would think that either way now but#even in times of friendship breaking up w/kaveh like#alhaitham is very FACTS AND LOGIC and i feel like he would still like#idk. understand the objective value of human companionship. whether or not he feels it works for him#HOWEVER. jkdlhfsd he is also the one who in his other lore bits was like 'grandmother the other children are boring at school'#AT AGE SEVEN god he was probably such an unintentionally funny child. i love u alhaitham u are so neurodivergently coded#so idk i feel like he would have a period where hes like okay. i was alone before and clearly that was the right call bc my 1 friend is gon#even if he does well alone i cant even imagine like. kaveh mustve been a huge impact and difference in alhaithams life#humans need SOME level of socialization!! and kaveh was his.... aughhh god they literally also read as having a bad breakup!!!!!#queer coded TO ME!!!!!! friends to rivals/friends to lovers to enemies to it's complicated..................#but again even if u dont think of it in a romantic sense like it's still so much. they were and are so significant to each other.#their bond is so complex and oughghdhgh they make me go bonkers#i do not think of any other 2 genshin characters so intensely as i do them .what have they done to me. what the fuck.#im alone in my stupid little genshin pit endlessly babbling about these motherfuckers!!!!!!!#and i love them. also i like that one scene in i think cynos 2nd character quest where al and kav r in the library or w/e#and kavehs like wtf no way u dont small talk w/coworkers. and alhaithams like no i just happen 2 hear people but i do not engage#hes so real he likes to eavesdrop but he does NOT want to get involved!!!!!!!!!!!!#also that same scene where kaveh goes 'WTF looking thru these will take FOREVER!!!!' alhaitham: 'ill manage'#kaveh: >:( FINE ILL HELP YOU!!!! like ok he did not ask. silly.#and alhaitham teasing him right after all that. 'teach me to pretend u werent listening' '...' '...' '...' '...HEY STOP IGNORING ME' 'see.'#theyre so goofy. kaveh u walked right into that one. ily.#i love when i talk about characters and it's literally just me going 'wow remember when character x said this. remember when he did that.'#i just love repeating scenes and dialogue and lore over and over and over and offering nothing new to say about it JKFLDSHKLFH#sorry i love them SO much and im bad at drawing and bad at fanfic so i just have to ramble in text posts forever#i do have. a fanfic outlined for them. i am just scared to write it#nothing crazy deep or whatever but yknow. im in a bit of a Funk Right Now dont worry about it#i need a constant stream of alhaitham and kaveh content constantly injected directly into my brain.
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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao
#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her#and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that#bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control#AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern#which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have#become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and#then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see#the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then#immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now#hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him#she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women#bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely#fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are#capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the#like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond#or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to#feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe#months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time#its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like#there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she#wouldnt show up and ive been right each time#like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at#them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all#anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it#and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy#and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way#its just AUSHD AUGH#anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore
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Update 3: drove the asshole home bc I was so sure he was fr gonna die if he drove himself lmao. Poor dude looked so miserable, like bro was either holding back while we were working or he got worse the second he was able to relax, bc there wasn't a single moment of silence the whole drive back, dude was just curled up in the passenger’s seat shivering and being so fucking symptomatic. Like he was doing that thing where you basically cough all of the air out of your lungs then doing that rattly little inhale and then repeating, like it was Not Good 😬 0/10, hated being there to experience that in person, I was horrified, I want all of that to stay in audio recordings where it can't hurt me lmao. And he wasn’t sneezing a ton, but when he did, he stifled them until I told him to quit it bc the last thing he needs is a fucking ear infection on top of whatever the hell is already wrong with him, and even when he stopped, he was so congested that they sounded kinda stifled anyway 😭 like it's all objectively hot and I would've loved it had I just read it and not experienced it first hand, but unfortunately I'm a massive germaphobe and had to sit three feet away from this guy all damn day. So I bleached the hell out of my car and scrubbed myself down in the shower three times and I still don't feel like anything is clean enough, but I'm tired so it's gonna have to do for now lmao
#this is kinda snz kink ain't it?#whatever idc i feel so gross and I'm tired lmao#i might shower again before i go to bed idk lmao#OH ALSO important to note#he was stifling with his fingers so he was getting that shit all over his hands i was like IN MY CAR????? fucking horrific#again it's objectively hot but not when it's in front of me 😭#i hope y'all are enjoyjng this at least bc I'm not lmao i was trying not to pass away the whole day#like i feel so bad bc i consider my partner a friend so obviously i care about him and wanna help#but at the same time i literally can't train my disgust reaction out of me#I'm fucking weird when it comes to who I'm more okay with being around when they might be sick#like if he wasn't my usual partner or if he was just some random coworker i wouldn't have given him a ride#like i did it scared but i still did it lmao#anyway#i told him to text me tomorrow so i know he's not dead and to call if he needs anything#so we'll see what comes of that#and i will be passing away if he gets me sick so stay tuned for that#knock on wood i haven't been sick since i was 13 and I'm almost 22 now#and last time i was sick i had strep and bronchitis at the same time so that wasn't good#but other than that it's just been allergy flare ups#so other than the vaccine reactions i genuinely don't remember what it's like to actually be sick#so let's hope i just manage to avoid it 😭
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the more i process the yr finale the more i'm obsessed with it. i can't articulate it but just. the ending to all those storylines. not everything gets resolved. sometimes people just suck and they don't get better. sometimes what they spent years trying to achieve isn't what they wanted after all. sometimes you have to choose your own happiness and whatever comes will come. sometimes you pick friends over romantic love. sometimes you pick a hard truth over an easy lie. sometimes you pick yourself over your family. sometimes your happiness and freedom will cost you something important. sometimes there is no clear cut answer. sometimes you have to fight for yourself and what you believe in. sometimes a happy ending only comes once you find yourself and put yourself first.
#text post tag#every storyline makes me slight more insane tbh.#wille and simon choosing to protect themselves and in turn figuring out what they need to do to find each other again#august choosing the monarchy and striving for perfection over and over and over again. until it took too much from him and what now?#felice choosing sara over friends who are fun but don't understand her. and sara choosing felice (and simon) over romance and love.#gnawing at the bars of my cage. brain-to-words-mechanism broke but just imagine me pointing at the final scene and yelling DID YOU SEE THAT#anyway.#young royals#young royals spoilers#kat watches young royals#young royals s3
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