#my shows cause me pain
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When space whale design so good you can't just steal it to your own cosmoopera story so you have to draw your first fanart in years and revive your tumblr art blog to post it
[other version and image description under the cut!]
Ezra version ♡
[ID: A horizontal artwork showing Exra Bridger from season 2 of Star Wars: Rebels and the group of space whales, Purgil. The purgil are floating in space and one of them, closest to the viewing point, is positioned so that its eye coincides with one of Ezra's eyes. Their eyes are shining teal blue. Ezra is depicted in a somewhat abstract way, he stands waist high and the space behind him, but behind the whales.
In the second version of the image, Ezra is in the foreground, while the Purgil is only in the background. He is standing and holding his lightsaber, looking somewhat lost in thought. ]
#star wars rebels#ezra bridger#sw rebels#swr#star wars#star wars rebels fanart#purrgil#this was drawn riiight after I watched The Call#I know it's about to get painfull very soon I know it#im mostly ready (but probably won't watch season 4 TOO painful 😭 I read spoilers to avoid some my triggers)#It all started when my partner told me I would probably like andor#I was so sad after it I desided to watch this 'kid show' to kinda soften it out#OH BOY#I MISCALCULATED SEVERELY#found family trope in space?#space whales?#literally a nate trap#now I've drawn ezra cause I love him#and whales cause WHALES#my art
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FINALLY FINALLY HAPPY (VERY LATE) BIRTHDAY ODILE!!!!!
#5 days of pain working on this. the things I do for you odile#isat#in stars and time#isat odile#day 98#I completely wrecked my sleep schedule making this! Woops. but She Is Real#The hubris of thinking I can animate a full body illustration when I barely touch after effects and didnt know how to use puppet pins at al#Apologies for disappearing for 5 days by the way. Yes this is the reason#Reposting cause hold on why didn't this show up on tags?? hey. I'm not letting this go unseen#In all fairness I went through a mental breakdown in those tags so I guess I'll be normal this time#Anyways don't be like me. Odile would want you to sleep well and rested. So sleep well
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Why you should watch 乘风破浪 and 披荆斩棘 to learn Chinese
What are these shows?
Both 披荆斩棘 and 乘风破浪 follow the same basic format: 30+ celebrity contestants, mostly actors and singers ages 30+, form teams and compete in singing and dancing over several rounds. Viewers vote on their favorite performances and contestants, and 1-3 contestants are eliminated each round. The top contestants form a temporary "group" and appear on a follow-up reality show.
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Why you should watch
1. Exposure to different accents
Contestants come from all over the Chinese-speaking world: Dongbei, Sichuan, Taiwan, Hong Kong, and even Malaysia. I can personally say that watching these shows has vastly improved my ability to understand the Hong Kong Mandarin accent.
2. Pop culture knowledge
Because the contestants are celebrities, you'll be introduced to dozens of famous actors, singers, etc. Also, you'll hear the many iconic songs that they cover. I've impressed several native speakers with my with knowledge of pop culture and music.
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3. Branch out to new media
These shows serve as a gateway to Chinese music, movies, and TV. if you really like the contestants who are actors, you can check out their shows and movies. If you enjoy a certain song or like a contestant who's a singer, you can explore more music.
4. Casual and formal registers
You’ll get to hear casual, unscripted speech while watching the behind-the-scenes and rehearsal clips. But you’ll also get to hear more formal speech when they’re announcing rules and also from the MC who hosts the actual live performances.
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5. Incredible talent
Also, you should watch for the awesome performances and general fun. I love seeing the contestants' friendships, and I’m also obsessed with the amazing sets. There are some incredibly talented performers on these shows, and I love getting to see them shine.
Where to watch
All seasons are free to watch on YouTube! Sometimes clips may be muted or missing, probably due to YouTube's restrictions. But the vast, vast majority is available, and when a clip is missing, you can usually do a separate search and find it. I also pay for a Mango TV subscription, which is $1.99 USD/month.
乘风破浪 full episode playlist links:
乘风破浪的姐姐1
乘风破浪的姐姐2
乘风破浪3
乘风2023
乘风2024
披荆斩棘 full episode playlist links:
披荆斩棘的哥哥1
披荆斩棘2
披荆斩棘3
披荆斩棘4
To help you get started, below is a YouTube playlist of my some of my favorite performances (5 per season, except for the most recent season of each). Cause why not! Also, below the cut I'll put more details along with direct links to my favorite performances.
And if you're a fellow fan emotionally preparing for the 披荆斩棘4 finale 🥲, feel free to message me and commiserate!
See similar posts: I watched all the Chinese idol survival shows so you don’t have to (but you should anyway) Tips for finding Chinese-language media you like
Sisters Who Make Waves
Chinese title: 乘风破浪的姐姐 (S1-2) / 乘风破浪 (S3) / 乘风 (S4-5) English title: Sisters Who Make Waves (S1-3) / Ride the Wind (S4-5) *I call it Sisters for short
This series is the original, having started in 2020. The focus was on female empowerment, particularly of women 30+. A lot of the celebrities had slowed down in their careers, and the show served as their reintroduction to audiences. While female empowerment is still a theme today, I do feel it has lessened in prominence.
Season 1
The original, iconic season. You can tell they had a limited budget and not a ton of space, but it doesn't detract at all thanks to the incredible talent and energy of the contestants. And they had no idea what a phenomenon the show was going to be! Many of my most rewatched performances come from the season.
得不到的爱情
大碗宽面
相��后动物感伤
FLOW
新物种
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Season 2
This season has a special place in my heart as the first one I watched! It's the only one I've seen twice (when it originally aired and rewatched with friends). Compared to season 1, you can definitely tell they had a bigger budget and started to refine the format. Also, some of my all-time favorite contestants are from this season.
现在不跳舞要干嘛
归零
快乐宝贝
给自己的歌
我
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Season 3
This season was the first with the show's "modern" and fully-developed format, which remains to this day. For example, they started to include more complex sets and recruited more diverse contestants, such as dancers, an athlete, etc. Also, my favorite performance of the entire series, 雾里, is from this season.
雾里
梦中人
山海
孤独颂歌
有吗炒面
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Season 4
This season was the first time I felt there wasn’t improvement over the previous season. I think the stage design took a step backward, and I didn't love the international focus. It was hard to identify my favorite performances because I didn't feel strongly about many. That being said, my friends and I still enjoyed this season.
从头
千里万里
下个,路口,见
归途有风
I'm Not Yours
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Season 5
Though this season has already ended, I'm not done yet. I watch with friends, so we move at a slower pace. So far, it seems largely in line with season 4. I'll update this post after we finish.
Call Me By Fire
Chinese title: 披荆斩棘的哥哥 (S1) / 披荆斩棘 (S2-3) English title: Call Me By Fire *I call it Brothers as a nickname
A show about female empowerment gets a male spin off? Out of skepticism, I did not plan to check out this show when it premiered in 2021 (after Sisters S2). But at some point I changed my mind, mostly because I had to run out of other shows. Little did I know I would arguably become a more devoted fan of this show than the original!
Season 1
This season had too many iconic performances to count, and in particular, the Hong Kong contestants really took the world by storm. Due to scandals, they edited out 2 contestants (Huo Zun and Li Yundi), which admittedly does make for an awkward viewing experience at times, but you should totally watch anyway.
凄美地
MMA
飞云之下
达拉崩吧
如果还有明天
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Season 2
Looking back, season 2 did not have as many stand out performances as season 1, but it does boast my favorite performances of the entire series, 新地球. It also features a fantastic group of contestants, probably my favorite overall cohort of the show.
新地球
袖手旁观
私人生活
���想
凤毛麟角
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Season 3
This was the first season to air after I started watching, though I didn't watch it live because I was still on season 2. While it's probably impossible to top the iconic status of season 1, I think season 3 was an improvement over season 2 in terms of memorable performances. We also got the iconic 0713 (2007快乐男声全国13强) contestants.
行走的鱼
爱人错过
Joker
走麦田
有没有一首歌会让你想起我
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Season 4
This season is sadly coming to an end, although I have not started the finale yet. I'll start this weekend and update this post in the future after I've had some time to gather my thoughts.
Now I have to go finish 披荆斩棘4 episode 11 so I can watch the finale. Bye!!!
#my watchlist#deciding what to include was soooo hard I was in pain#also sadly some really good ones are not available on youtube prob cause of the usage rights#if just 1 person checks out these shows it will be worth the inexcusable amount of time I invested in this post#to contextualize my obsession know that I have painstakingly translated and subtitled 20+ songs from Sisters#just so my friends who don��t know chinese could enjoy them#I think amber liu and xue zhiqian must have the same stylist cause so many of her outfits look like they could be his lol#sisters who make waves#ride the wind#乘风破浪的姐姐#乘风破浪#乘风#chengfengpolang#call me by fire#披荆斩棘的哥哥#披荆斩棘#pijingzhanji#cvariety#chinese variety show
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#we trade pain for wisdom#whatever the case may be if it’s you or if it’s me growth and change and learning from the mistakes are all that we can do#to add to it didn’t deserve to know me like that* or appreciate my time etc#but throughout all the hardship I’ve been through with people that I didn’t work out well with (familyfriends romantic relationships)#ive learned a lot throughout my life from people and myself included#I’m grateful and appreciative of the wisdom I’ve gained and how I’ve overcame it but sad & angry at the thought of remembrance#I know what I’m saying is vague and this post isn’t about a specific person but just looking at it as a whole#people who genuinely like you and care about you want the best for you and will want to make things work no matter what#people who value you don’t treat you like shit people who value you show appreciation for you#people who love you let you know just like people who don’t they all let you know#but there’s been some instances where I’ve been the one who made mistakes and caused issues and things of that nature#I’ve taken those mistakes and learn from them and have grown from them since they happened#that’s the point of life learning experiencing understanding and growing#with or without you I will be fine :) I’m happy whether you’re in or out of my life#that statement alone if I had been told that before I would’ve cried my eyes out but now I’m like I’m fine with or without I don’t need#anyone or anything but if you want to tag along that’s fine if you don’t want to that’s also fine the freedom is there#it’s freeing in my heart to say that tbh#I know my worth and what I deserve I’m not going to settle for less
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I’m being very brave at 1am this tuesday morning, there’s a queer gathering event for my grad school tonight and if i want The Rewards Of Being Known i am going to have to endure The Presence Of My Ex and every neuron i have thinks i’m being hunted by tigers just for saying yes to the invite. We’re not even on bad terms (afaik) i just have no data on how many ppl there will be, and i’m terrified of seeming like a creep just for showing up in the same space as them. Fuck and Damn and Hell.
#my stuff#there could be 5 ppl there could be 30#they could show up and unexpectedly despise me or want to see me or not show up at all#there could be 4 other transfems or none#i don’t want to be the only rep of my kind i don’t want our personal conflict to ruin this for either of us#but i don’t know what else to do but show up as emotionally armored as possible and to do my best to give space#that’s way harder with fewer ppl tho#form a bowling game with 6 ppl while not talking to one of em get real#there’s a wound in my soul that i desperately want them to help fill but i CAN’T ASK. any kindness HAS to come from them bc they#were the one who ended the relationship AND the friendship bc they wanted other ppl more#i’m the pathetic one who’s still carrying this. i would rather die than crawl for them after being cast aside twice#but i’m still in pain and i’ve tried everything to fix it and nothing fills the hole#so here i am in an uncertain environment with someone who has caused me pain and has the ability to alleviate it somewhat#but i can’t ask for it. and that tension will be ongoing while i have to mask hard around unknown number of strangers#i’m gonna sleep like shit
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I decided to start talking about Wick and Rocky's relationship because I like their dynamics too, I like seeing Wick scared of Rocky and Rocky being aggressive with him, which is unusual because Rocky is rarely aggressive with anyone, but of course Wick is an exception to rule
Also my mini opinion about their possible relationship, I think that if Rocky didn't have to fight for his place, then he and Wick could become friends, or at least tolerate each other a little, I also see some superficial similarities, their gentlemanly and romantic natures, and their common love for explosions (remembering the quarrymen chapter), but this is my assumption, I think that I don't understand the characters' personalities well, so I can be wrong in this assumption, something like that. So, what do you think about their relationship?
for starters, i cannot thank you enough for this ask! as i’ve said previously, i have many thoughts on these two, so it’s nice to finally be able to share some of them. although given the extent to which i think about them, i apologize in advance if this is sloppy and sort of everywhere … while i’ll try to structure things the best i can, i cannot promise i’ll succeed! but hopefully this is an enjoyable reply nonetheless.
one of my favorite things about rocky and wick’s relationship is absolutely how aggressive rocky is towards the aristocrat ; he is prone to glares and cruel jokes and borderline hissing whenever the man is within his line of sight, or can be brought to a wailing-fit over the mere mention of his name from miss m’s mouth. there is a childishness to it, but a very prominent threat as well in spite of rocky’s usual incompetence. so he goes out of his way to posture around wick, readily lying and adorning himself with the gangster drapes he so badly wants to wear, in the hopes that it intimidates … will even badmouth wick’s family and make fun of his name and rock related obsession to mitzi, and so on so forth! yet all of this is very reminiscent of schoolyard bullying rather than anything too severe, though we as the audience understand rather quickly that rocky would bash wick’s head in with a tire iron if he could. ( translation : if it wouldn’t earn the tears or hate of a certain beloved mitzi may ) and it’s all very intense despite the absence of actual violence! and i understand why many fans see this as unusual for rocky and believe that it’s only wick who makes him act so aggressively, but i’d argue it isn’t really wick at all that prompts such scary reactions from him … and that rocky is a deeply angry character who’s a.) been boiling quietly for a long, long time and b.) has turned wick into a punching bag of sorts for this inner world of resentment and hurt. basically, when he’s judging the well-to-do or poking fun, his eyes don’t look at wick and actually acknowledge him as sedgewick sable ; instead this is a being, something vague and metaphorical, who threatens to upseat rocky’s permanence in the lackadaisy and steal away his savior, and he’s had a hand in the violinist’s misfortune for a long time.
obviously, rocky doesn’t think wick robbed him of his family twice over and made him homeless, but he is channeling the fear and anguish of those events into his loathing for wick, if that makes sense? it’s easier that way -- to finally have an outlet for everything bleeding inside of you, to be able to bite and claw at something without feeling conflicted or having to take personal accountability for your own mistakes … which is something that i think rocky does struggle with to a degree. he is sort of a finger pointer! his pain has to be worth something, it has to be for someone else ; spending years homeless and losing his last bit of family was for freckle, and the scrambling of his literal brain was for mitzi, and that means he can’t ever be angry with them! well, except that he is, somewhat, but he buries it deep down instead of feeling it. with freckle there is a sense of strain between them -- an air of ‘you owe me’ from rocky to freckle as he uses freckle to appease miss m, and he constantly pokes fun at his cousin too. it’s lighter than his jabs at wick, but there’s a constant pestering, a reminder of how good freckle has it : how he’s got the mom and the house and the job and the girl most notably. i don’t think rocky is intending to come across as mean, and to his credit he hardly does! but it’s rather clear to me that some part of him, some hidden and deeply hurt part, is rather indignant about taking the fall for freckle all those years ago. which he can’t understand, because how could he? he made that choice, he decided to take accountability for something he didn’t do because he loves freckle and knows it’d be so easy to believe this family tragedy was roark’s fault ; the devilish child he was, all troublesome and too broken to properly fit anywhere. so there is a disconnect born here, where rocky can’t comprehend that he’d be angry at freckle, so instead these not so great feelings are placed elsewhere and silently boil over time. and with mitzi … i don’t think he’s angry at her per se, but there is a frustrated and desperate chorus of : why him and why not me, when i’m the one out here dying for you? which is certainly unpleasant. of course, rather than allowing those feelings to be more aimed at miss m, whom he feels unloved by, he ( again! ) represses these emotions and allows them to fester into his greatest fears and fantastical complexes. i think there is a lot of other miscellaneous anger he could have towards others too … perhaps some part of him is sore upon seeing ivy’s normal lifestyle, watching her go to university and knowing that’s been taken from him. or an ache felt when hearing stories from zib and the band and how they used to travel successfully, living as nomads, and rocky is all too reminded of his similar lifestyle and how he couldn’t make it work as effortlessly. people with immense trauma are more prone to irrational anger and jealousy, to viewing everything around them as unfair and believing it’s even more unjust that so many people get to live comfortably while they’ve suffered. a situation that gets more messy when you’re someone like rocky, a man who’s willingly made choices that have harmed himself and wants to continue on with his smiling, bumbling fool of an act. he does not want to be angry, does not want to see it within himself, i think, which leads to an accidental increase of it.
all of this is to reiterate that wick is a scapegoat for rocky and nothing more. it’s why he’s rather hypocritical whenever it concerns the man. for example, it was stated by tracy that he looks down upon wick for his excessive presence at the bar, yet he appears to enjoy hanging out with zib -- who drinks just as often! he makes fun of how all wick ever talks about is rocks, when he himself is prone to poetry rambles that people find irritating or boring, and etc etc. this is also just a human nature thing, to critique someone you heavily dislike and even going as far as to belittle things you love or do in your own day to day because you just hate them that bad! but given rocky’s willingness to befriend anyone, it more so reeks of a dehumanization element. wick is every obstacle in his way, every divine force that threatens to send him packing again, so he is equal parts unnerved by wick’s presence and angry about it. it is mostly a fear response we are seeing, an emotion that’s morphed into long held resentment and anger. so his actions are extremely defensive, with him trying to push wick far away and keep him and mitzi separate, like some sort of animal attempting to ward off a threat that’s come too close to their home. despite the loaded animosity there, this hate has hardly reached its peak … but it shall only grow more intense as things continue onward i’m afraid, since as it stands ( in the comic at least ) rocky is at an all time low … and is ten times more desperate. i’d honestly say wick has become so warped in his mind’s eye that he can only strive towards ‘winning’ over the other man, because that’s all he can see anymore. i think mitzi implying that wick willingly helped her out, the intense head injury, and rocky’s fragile emotional state is exactly what pushes him towards premeditated murder in look-see. i don’t know how people perceive that arc, but to me it’s very clear that rocky actively sought to see the deaths of wes and fish that night. going as far as to lament that he’d be, “very disappointed if ( he ) dreamed them,” and purposefully luring the marigold duo away to have freckle pick them off. while you could argue that this was a smart move, in a gangster sort of sense, there’s still no denying that rocky is oddly chipper about the whole thing and is now seeking death out ; whereas before his methods of vengeance were just, well, ruining people’s livelihood but ultimately leaving them alive. this isn’t to discredit the fact that rocky is going through something! he is in a very muddled and dark place, mentally and physically, but even tracy has said that the head injury hasn’t changed rocky’s personality -- it’s only brought things to the surface.
source : q&a with tracy .
which, yeah! makes sense! head trauma can cause a person to become a wreck emotionally ( think mood swings, irritability, etc ) but it doesn’t completely morph someone either. personality changes may occur, but it’s not like you’re being rewritten entirely, you know? and given tracy’s old statement, it’s clear that ‘personality changes’ aren’t a side effect he’s suffering from. something that adds to my beginning statement, which is that rocky is a deeply angry and troubled person, more so than fans give him any credit for.
however, to touch upon your mini opinion about these two, i actually wholeheartedly agree that rocky and wick could become friends if circumstances were different. they do in fact have many superficial similarities, but one of the more prominent things they deeply share is never really belonging in the groups they frequent. this is more overt with rocky’s character, yet wick faces it too in subtle ways. the well-to-do crowd, seen through the investors, find the gentleman to be lacking in about every place imaginable ; to them he is an obsessive freak who cares too deeply for meager rocks, something they constantly mock him for, while he’s also being noticeably set apart from the rest of them … he seems younger than the investors, more excitable, passionate, and a little less experienced, and doesn’t seem to care for money or reputation as much as them either. there is a constant rubbing between him and them, where what he enjoys is seen as wrong, such as his love for the lackadaisy and his choice in paramor, a grieving widow with extremely dangerous ties. we also know that wick doesn’t have many friends at all, with the only two he has being lacy and church ( church is listed as such on his character profile, in a sort of tongue-in-cheek way ), both of whom work for or with him. they are obliged to hang around, and while they care in varying ways, they are prone to judging him just as much. honestly, it’s not shocking that wick seeks refuge at his chosen speakeasy! but even there he is rather distant from everyone else. he doesn’t speak to zib ever in the comics, nor seems all too close with viktor, ivy, or horatio … it is merely mitzi he is close to, even if he knows of the other people who work there. and, once again, wick very obviously doesn’t fit in. he is not gangster material, could never be an atlas may replacement, much less someone who could get his paws dirty in such an active way. so he has his feet in two different worlds and doesn’t know how to fit into either of them, or which one he actually wants to fit into more. i think in many ways rocky could relate -- these are two very lonely people who wish to belong somewhere and be accepted by some group or another but go about it in all the wrong ways. wick, who is too hesitant to fully commit to what he wants and is worse off for it, and then rocky, who obsessively throws himself against what he wants until he breaks every bone in his body. they also have explosives to bond over, lol, and other miscellaneous things like their taste in women i suppose … but this potential bond adds to the tragedy of lackadaisy, where we see two people who on every level should get along but we’re burdened with the knowledge that it’s an impossibility anyway, because there’s no removing the circumstance of which they’re in.
though i like to believe that despite wick’s fear of rocky, he maintains a kindness towards him regardless. i think his worries about rocky are rather surface level … he doesn’t know the boy at all, really, and thus can’t make heads or tails of him, hence him believing the lie in balderdash. so when i’m feeling particularly self indulgent, i like imagining a world where they’re forced together and sort of ‘stuck’ together ; to which rocky finally breaks and exposes his wounds to wick, in every sense of the word, and wick finally gets him. the aggression, the possessiveness of mitzi … it is all fear and desperation and a profound sadness, things he’d sympathize with. if rocky was able to explain that he loathes wick because if he saves the lackadaisy then mitzi won’t need him anymore and that it’s not fair that wick gets to so easily fix things when rocky would give his soul for his home, for her, and how wick could render every sacrifice he’s already made for naught by smoothing things over with some greenbacks and he can’t lose this, he just can’t --! … which, well, wick is too kind of a man to be able to do anything except feel awful, even though it’s not his fault at all. here we have two people who could coexist! and they should, since rocky logically can’t do every speakeasy job ( band member, rumrunner, mitzi’s shadow, also the guy who gets the money for the hooch ) by himself, just like how wick can’t save the lackadaisy with only his cash and limited booze stash. it’d be a joint cooperation, a collaboration between them, both equally important in the grand scheme of crime’s every turning wheel … but rocky’s rage and fear won’t let him see that, and likely never will. still, in scenarios where everything ends up alright for the lackadaisy and the people involved in it ( which is not how canon will go, by the way ), i fancy wick and rocky getting better within their relationship. rocky will always be prickly and quick to upset around the other man sadly, but perhaps he could see wick in a softer kind of light. or at least understand vaguely enough that he isn’t out to get rocky, so to speak. and then maybe wick learns that pancakes soothe rocky’s ire and poorly makes them anytime he wishes to talk to the man, and other fun things like that! but you should have more confidence in your character analysis skills, because you were spot on ( at least in my eyes ) about them potentially getting along if things were different. it’s certainly a fun aspect to play around with, and is important to note when discussing their relationship so you can fully understand just how warped rocky’s perspective on things are. and how unstable and traumatized he is too, of course </3 sidenote, but i also hope that throughout everything i’ve said here, or anything i’ve said before on my blog, that my love for rocky and my own sympathy for him comes across well enough. while he’s deeply flawed and i have no qualms discussing said flaws in depth, i also don’t think of him as some insane freak who’s evil at his core or anything like that. honestly, i adore analyzing him so much as a character because of how far down his issues go! he’s very well written, i’ll say, as is wick and many of the other characters, but i digress.
once more, thank you for the ask! i’ll end this here because i fear if i don’t i’ll start going in circles, since their relationship is so vast and very important for rocky in a character sense. hopefully i shed some more light on it though! i love these two to bits and pieces and i wouldn’t be half as invested in lackadaisy if their dynamic wasn’t so monumental -- at least to me.
#my asks.#lackadaisy analysis.#lackadaisy#rocky rickaby#sedgewick sable#tracy j butler#i also think rocky’s sudden taste for marigold blood is him making marigold his other scapegoat#he isn’t dealing with anything in a healthy manner and is so traumatized it’s starting to spill out of him … which is. uh. not good!!#but it sure is what’s currently happening regardless#cannot stress enough that rock is a very ill and traumatized individual who hasn’t had a single break in his life#he is constantly in stressful situations that are dangerous … and like.#when you’re constantly put in those situations you become numb. and angry. and it becomes hard to heal#or to truly connect to others … etc#i could talk in depth about rocky’s traumas and why they’ve caused this anger issue and this inner disharmony inside#because frankly there’s a lot there! and i hate to say it but people who are hurt normally show their hurt in ugly ways#especially if mentally ill … which rocky is imo#it’s just the reality of things! this isn’t me demonizing mental illness or the effects of trauma. i’m just being realistic here#someone as deeply troubled as rocky ( someone with NO outlet and whom hides his feelings from others and himself )#is bound to be. well. troubled!! his smiling facade is merely another mask he wears to cope and to be good for the people he loves#it is not … really rocky rickaby … rocky rickaby is that and the wrath and the self destruction and more#AHEM but i digress. how rocky treats wick and all that has really done wonders for understanding his character#and i truly love the wick / rocky / mitzi trio so bad. their relationships with each other is what drew me into this world#like. i am shaking them so much. the overlap!! the complexities inherit in their bonds and what that says about the individual characters!#it’s amazing truly lol like … i have had such fun thinking about them twenty four seven for the past three-ish months#anyway. anyway! i love analyzing these bitches. they can fit so much into them#and i’m rooting for wickmitzi endgame and for wick to desperately try to bond with rocky … while his bloodshot eye is twitching as we speak#lots of fun!!! lots of pain and agony too … rocky is nothing but a painful character alas. that is his nature. but that is also his appeal#and ooops i’ll shut up in the tags now i just. have a lot to say. and a lotta love to give to these two!! but uh. yeah <3 loved writing thi
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Omg, I can't believe my previous doodles had a lot of positive interactions with both reblogs and likes! 👀 That's insanely surreal to me! Seriously, thank you!!! 😭💚 So...
Here is the other page of Kafka doodles on my sketchbook! I included the whole spreadsheet of sketches cause it looked neater.
Anyway, I did some different expressions with his kaiju/human forms, and a few of them were definitely a pain to ink, lol. But because Kafka is soooo expressive, it's genuinely just a lot of fun, and it made me love this silly man more! 🤗
#kaiju no. 8#kaiju no 8#kaiju number 8#kafka hibino#hibino kafka#my art#traditional fanart#ink sketches#this makes me wonder how much fun the mangaka has with drawing Kafka#i bet he has fun with him#all of kafka's expressions both in manga and anime are hilarious#but overall he's just a sweet older man who wants to protect everyone#and his character growth in the manga is wonderfully executed#i am confident the anime will do it justice cause it's been such a fun show too#anyway i won't be deleting my art now so look forward to more posts in the future <3#and if anyone is reading this let me know which kafka sketch is your fav#mine is his silly smile in kaiju form and his small smile in human form at the bottom left#bonus fav: the tiny drawing of him laughing in pain XD
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West End Year 7 final performance notes!
Part 1, Act 1:
- harry!scorp reenactiong the dark lord pose, ellis!albus laughing then mimicking it back then harry doing it back again while ellis pretends to die
- the bullies were BULLYING today!!
- grabbing/squeezing ellis’ cheeks
- toby!yann spinning him around in circles on “and he has hair just like him”
- ellis looking over to the slytherin area (where harry!scorp was standing) while getting sorted… ELLIS WHEN I CATCH YOU
- harry!james jr literally slapping ellis’ cheek “stop with your dithering”
- ellis reaching out to harry while running off after the astoria conversation
- maia!polly getting right into ellis’ face after wand dance
- ellis looking at the door waiting for ginny to come in while harry is talking to him KILL ME
- harry!james jr trying to get scorps attention in train while rose and albus are talking
- idk how to explain other than simply put, when they look/talk with each other, it’s like the whole world around them does not exist
- scorbus basically bumping into each other when the train starts
- harry starting to get up on the roof, screaming, then getting off allowing ellis to go first
- “SPLENDID” FROM SOMEONE IN THE MINISTRY SCENE SENDS ME
- them protecting each other when amos points his wand at them
- ANYTHING FOR DAVID AS SCORP I CANNOT EVEN FATHOM HOW PERFECT IT IS
- absolutely UNHINGED scene of albus as ron kissing hermione, tom aldridge you outdid yourself!
#i love this show with my whole heart#but let me tell you it causes me so much stress and pain#LIKE ELLIS WHAT WAS THE REASON FOR ALL THAT#WHAT WAS THE REASON#hpcc#cursed child#harry potter and the cursed child#scorbus#albus severus potter#scorpius malfoy#albus x scorpius#harry potter#albus potter x scorpius malfoy
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If the back end of Fullbring arc was good, Rukia would've shown up like this.
#Love the Fullbring arc but everything after the shinigami show up is terrible#still manages to be my favourite arc#It's been a billion years since my last comic#I wanted to cause as much pain as possible if you look at Rukia's laptop#every computer sin I could think of#bleach#my art#ichigo kurosaki#rukia kuchiki#Ichigo I've given you shinigami powers so you can act as my tech support as Squad 12 has blocked me and denied me further service
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I actually can’t get over how much Merlin as a show has evolved over the 5 seasons
like in the first few seasons (especially the first) it’s basically magical fairy rainbows every episode is a new adventure and yippee happily ever after
And then you get to season 5
And it’s
Well
‘I know I shouldn’t kill kids but if I reallyyyyy had a good reason to can I?’ ‘Istg at this point I may as well just kill everyone here’
‘Morgana? Oh, she’s dead. Gwaine? Oh yeah he’s dead too. There was mordred, Lancelot, oh and just for the fun of it, Arthur can die too. OH, but that’s not it because now we can show you a jump forward in time to a now modern world where, guess what? EVERYONE IS FREAKING DEAD AND MERLIN’S ALONE.’
Whoever was responsible for writing the last season of Merlin; I just wanna talk. Nothing else. Just a one to one chat with a baseball bat in the corner of the room which I definitely won’t use.
#no but I’m#actually traumatized#I will never recover from the pain this show has caused me#but it’s still my favourite#obvs#merlin bbc#bbc merlin#merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#knights of the round table#arthur and merlin#jxmima speaks
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goretober day 6: Transformation
this mermaid concept is not mine!!! it is cool as hell and comes from my homeboy @ch1ck3n-t03s
#original#mermaids#goretober#crisisgoretober2024#RAUHGHHH. THIS MERMAID CONCEPT IS SO FUCKING COOL DO YOU EVEN GET IT. DO YOU EVEN GET IT#IM ALWAYS FOREVER THINKING ABOUT THIS. COOLEST FUCKING MERMAID CONCEPT IVE EVER SEEN IN MY GODDAMN LIFE#they have CULTURE because they ARE people and they have to live once transformed and they have to live with each other#but everyone who is a mermaid was once human and they are linked by this horrifying painful often deadly process#which strips them of their agency and takes from them everything they knew up to and including their own bodies#if they breathe through the fish gills do their lungs fill with water? do they drown as they are taken by the fish#the fish are not intelligent but the humans ARE. once they merge they both change irreversibly and the mermaid has no choice but to condemn#someone else to the same fate they fell to if they want to continue their species#AUCH. and it's right there in the space between biologically feasible and sci fi 'no fucking way' that scratches my brain#like yeah dude. show me mermaid parasitism on a huge scale. show me massive symbiosis in which the two fuse together to form one individual#im thinkin this one is maybe a few weeks after the chomp. the scars are fresh but the fish has started the fusing#it doesn't need the eye anymore and so it's started to reabsorb. the mouth is fusing to the human body#the human legs are mostly dissolved but i imagine the bones are still intact which is why u can kind of see the knee through the eel#and it bends more drastically at the hip because the pelvis hasn't been digested yet. the fish's teeth have dissolved#the fins are still backwards in regards to how large a dorsal vs ventral fin should be because the fish is backward on the human part#it's so fucking cool dude. i love fucked up mermaids#i dont even care about my mermaids cause i aint never doing anything as cool as these bitches. what the fuck. mermaid parasitism. fuck yes#im late for the prompt once more but who care. im doing my thang. peacesign peacesign peacesign
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I did some twists and turns to the Dreamtale I included in the server me an my friends rp in, and I’ve been kinda hyper fixated so I did a little thing
I don’t like perspective but im going to have to eventually learn, soul shattering I will never be the same once i dominate it
Yea the fucking tree told him to shoot night because everyone is so mean to him so I just yknow she might as well also be mean to a fucking seven year old who knew no better 
Dreamtale (Dream and Nightmare) Belong to Jokublog
#undertale au#utmv#dream sans#nightmare sans#dreamtale#wow jaja im actually normal for once?? I don’t have anything to bark at but WROFO WROOF AUUUUUUUU howling in pain for them they are devasta#I love them sosososo much I have been putting Dreamtale animations on loop and songs that remind me of them I love them I want to hold them#and give them hugs and tea and give their little heads little kisses and and show them that they both deserve to be loved#I want to show Dream how to read and write and I want to comfort nightmare i want to tell him that he’s capable of being loved too and he#deserves the world#I cried I cry I always cry when I think of them I will always cry for them I will always mourn for them they have my entire being and soul#would kill for them please be nice to them they have done nothing but suffer and cry and be angry I need them to be happy please let them b#happy please I cannot explain how much I want to scream and bang my head on a wall when I think of them and their relationship I break and#cry urgrurghr why why why why why I have such a brain rot I just want to see them hangout and smile and call each other brothers and call#each other family I need them to gossip and pinky promise and cook together I need nightmare to teach dream to read and write and dream to#teach nightmare how to have fun and heal their inner child I need them to do brotherly things and cause destruction together
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No because Sun does not understand what "no" means.
Ongsa said that she didn't want to do the scholarship program with her and Sun took it the worst possible way:
Then Ongsa was upset that Sun just outed not just their relationship but also that she is not straight to her parents, Sun was immediately defensive and made it about her:
But let's also look at not their literally just started relationship.
Sun decided that Aylin gets hugged because "that's what friends do" even though it's very clearly not what Aylin does.
When Ongsa was still "Earth" and Sun asked Earth to meet up she always said it was fine if he couldn't but would become bitter when Earth never showed up.
Sun is so lost in her own self that she should not be in any relationship. She needs to learn to be a partner and listen when her partner expresses a concern or a hurt. Sun doesn't get to decide that someone's reaction to her actions are more painful and worse. She doesn't get to unilaterally decide things about her relationships with people and be upset when people disagree. She loves Ongsa but she sure doesn't like her enough to actually learn anything about her. Like...oh I don't know...how comfortable Ongsa is with being out. Or anything about her relationship with her parents.
It is okay to be ready for different things at different times. It is not okay to decide someone else's readiness for them and be upset when they're not actually there yet.
#23.5#23.5 the series#23.5 series#in case anyone didn't know i am big mad about this#cause like i feel like ongsa and i have similarish home lives#or my home life in high school#my parents were supportive and i knew they were supportive#i knew i could come out and still have a home and still be loved#but i had a lot of internalize biphobia i had to deal with before i was ready to be out to myself let alone my parents#i can't imagine the pain of someone making that decision for me before i was ready#and i had much more of a backbone than ongsa has#next week is going to hurt because sun decided hurting ongsa by outing her wasn't enough#sun perceives her hurt as far more important and bigger so she hurts ongsa further by breaking up with her#and of course it's going to be ongsa that is heartbroken and fights to get the relationship back#when sun should be begging ongsa for a second chance#but we're not gonna get that because the show has already decided that sun can do no wrong
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The one thing that gets me about the Lord of the Rings movies is how much they fail Faramir's character but manage to really show Boromir's specifically in the extended cuts.
Faramir gets so little time in the movies compared to how much he gets in the books. He is genuinely such a good character in the books and I adore him so much. He has one of the best lines in the series as well that really captures some of the larger themes of the peace.
"I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend." - Faramir in The Two Towers
He is genuinely such a kind man, and in the books, you see that through his actions but also the actions and words of everyone around him. In the books, you get Beregond and Pippin's interactions and conversations where Beregond talks about how much he admires and loves Faramir as his captain and how much he trusts him. Beregond's love and dedication is part of the reason why Denethor's plan to burn him and Faramir alive gets delayed long enough for Pippin to go and get Gandalf and return with enough time to save Faramir at least.
The movie fails so hard because they have Faramir and his group take Frodo and Sam forcefully to Osgiliath and he has a moment with the ring. In the books, before even knowing for sure that Frodo had the ring, he said he would not take it. When it is revealed, he completely denies it and aids Frodo with food and shelter for a bit. The scene of him rejecting the ring especially with the knowledge that it got to his dearly beloved brother is so good and so core to Faramir's character which drives me nuts with how it went down in the movies.
In the books, you also get most of a chapter dedicated to Eowyn and Faramir and their healing journey. There, you also get to see how kind and loving Faramir is as a person with how he respects and interacts with Eowyn. Just god. He's such a good example of the series's gentle masculinity. He parallels Aragorn a lot in it especially since Aragorn is the one who is meant to be king while Faramir had the hearts of the people.
#faramir#lotr faramir#lord of the rings#lotr#lord of the rings movies#the two towers#the return of the king#lotr rambling#my rambling#faramir is genuinely such a good character i love him so much#he matches aragorns kindness and care while still having boromirs dedication#he just encapsulates a lot of the themes of the series and really shows them in the books#like he rejects the ring point blank#one of the few characters that manages to do that#the movies do boromir so much justice which makes it so painful that his brother doesnt get the same treatment#(my friend did point out to me that the movies honestly reflect how others treated faramir and the insanity that statement caused lmao)#also faramir and eowyn have one of the healthiest relationships ive ever read in a series#they love and respect each other so much its so admirable and im aroace lol
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> Writing a fanfic where demons commit consensual, sadomasochist violence on each other, to a degree that would be irresponsible for humans.
> “Would this hurt someone with a normal spine?”
> Cautiously bends my back to see what my own limits are, stopping wayy before the demon in the fic will.
> “Ok, yeah, if my hypermobile ass can’t do this, then neither can the rest of you guys*.”
*Back-bender contortionists not withstanding.
#don’t worry! i was careful!#i stopped the minute i felt any kind of resistence!#i’ve probably done more damage showing off backbends before i realized my hypermobility was going to cause me pain later in life#ah teenage me#how naive and innocent you were#‘it’s ok! it doesn’t hurt! :)’#oh you sweet summer child#it will#fanby’s ramblings#osha violation
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Alternate Sonic Rivals 2 wherein the teams are as follows:
Sonic and Silver
Espio and Rouge
Tails and Shadow
Knuckles and Metal Sonic
for maximum hijinks, silliness, and incompatibility on all sides.
#I think Tails and Shadow would hit it off best tbh#Tails states in Battle that he respects Shadow and afaik Shadow's feelings on Tails are mutual#Espio would NOT be impressed with Rouge's manners and I think she'd love to try and be the biggest pain towards him like she does to Knux#though on the other hand they both have a mission-focused mindset so they can find common ground there mayhaps#for Knux and Metal I figure Knuckles is really suspicious of what Metal is meant to be doing and he goes along to ensure Metal behaves#I don't think he'd believe a possibility that Metal turned good or anything like that#they'd part with the worst feelings between them out of everyone#and considering Silver's behaviours in the Rivals games I think it'd take a WHILE for him to warm up to Sonic XD#but Sonic knows how to deal with frosty snappy people (like Blaze in Rush) so I think they could work something out there#as long as Sonic shows himself to be fully on Silver's side and supporting of his cause Silver will be willing to cooperate with him#except then SURPRISE he's gonna get injected with seventy-three shots of pure Power Of Friendship when he least expects it lol#Espio commits crimes for Silver; Sonic turns Silver into his Colours DS self over the span of like two days XD#anyway it has been an exhausting Christmas and this is what it culminated in in my mind#the chances of me making an actual fic out of this are honestly 0 I'm sorry#but it's fun to imagine how the teams would work and why they're cooperating when switched up like that ^-^
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