#it will
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I hate slowed down versions of pop songs, I will truly start blasting if this keeps happening
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be silent
be still
be calm my heart
rest
be silent
be still
be calm my mind
rest
#my heart#powerfully fluttering#so beautiful i wish to rip it out#maybe then#it will#be calm#angel of observation#flln rbbt#馃悋馃馃
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I'm getting access to guns because of all this, I hope my mental health doesn't ruin it
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save me the beauty of nature save me
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This winter
Will be a hard one
As has every one
Before it
The blue tinged air
In the early fall
Barely yet October
Already creates heavy melancholy swirls in my chest
Festering and expanding
Overtaking joy
Overtaking comfortability
Single minded
Easy to distract
Easy to displace
The new normal quickly approaches
There is so much joy in this season
Red leaves spattered amongst trees
Yellow amongst the grass still green
Rain falling
Comfortable pitter patter splatters
Perhaps rose tinted glasses might even out my view
Perhaps dancing
And drinking
And kissing
And dates
And laughing
And movies
And work
And work
And work
And you
Perhaps too much
Will be enough
Perhaps this winter
Won't be too hard
#it will#it always is#im sorry#for what you will have to endure#while i am like this#i promise im trying#鉁笍 seasonal depression posting 鉁笍#notes to no one
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I have the coolest art idea ever, just you wait until I get around to actually drawing it.
#just you wait#it's there I promise#it's gonna happen#it will#Art#i just have to find time#the only hope is that I execute it as close as I can to how I imagine it
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It is October this week.
._____.
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actually, optimists are always right
thats the whole point
the philosophy isnt some magic shit that makes everything work out. its years of training yourself to believe that you can make it through to the light at the end of the tunnel. and it makes the steps a little easier to see.
#AND IT WILL SAVE YOU#IT WILL#'you can say that because your life is easier' as if i didnt spend fucking years toiling#to be able to believe in myself#its so fucking frustrating. oh your brain just works like that. as if i didnt WORK SO HARD TO GET HERE#YOU HAVE TO CARVE YOUR FUTURE WITH YOUR OWN GODDAMN HANDS . AND ITS HARD. AND IT MIGHT BE HARDER FOR YOU. BUT YOU CAN
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life is truly so frustrating at the moment. i still don't have the grade for my thesis although i was supposed to get it today and i just have the worst anxiety that i didn't pass or with a bad grade and i can't find jobs that i can apply to and then we went to this job fair today and it was absolute bullshit. people told me i am overqualified or that they're not looking for people like and i keep thinking that i am not even 24 yet, i finished all of my degrees in regular time (which doesn't make me better or anything, i just mean i apperently stressed so much for nothing), and I am motivated to work and do something that brings me joy and helps other people and no one wants to hire me and i know this is temporary and i will find a place somewhere but right now it doesn't feel like it and there is so much bureaucracy to consider once you're done studying and looking for a job with insurances and shit and i am just so overwhelmed with everything, i could cry every day because i feel so lost
#i am sorry this had to be let out#i know it will pass#it will#it'll get better#but right now everything feels like a mess
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that was sent at an awful time I am so sorry about your Mabel sweater best of luck I will pray for you in these times I think I would jump if I lost my comfort items
DW ABOUT IT ITS OKAY! It鈥檚 been years and I鈥檓 choosing to take it as a sign from the universe or smth
#I cried it out already so it鈥檚 whatever 馃挃#BUT maybe with gravity falls revival hot topic makes more#crazy expensive but maybe Christmas request as childish as it sounds#today WILL be better#IT WILL#I鈥檓 making the magic school bus out of clay maybe. or kiko winx idk
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Sometimes you gotta be the tired and sad mole creature in the earth before you can be the phoenix you always were meant to be in the sky 馃挅
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Sorry for going crazy on alt last night won't happen again
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moved my art blog's pfp to my main blog. hope this doesnt cause any "oops i reblogged to the wrong blog" confusion for me
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leftists when jan 6 happened: THEY TRIED INSURRECTION THEY STORMED THE CAPITAL THIS IS DISGUSTING I CANT BELIEVE THEYD TRY TO DO THAT
leftists now: anyways im not going to vote because maybe it'll make the revolution鈩笍 happen faster
#yeah#it will#but not the one you want lmfao#this is my last fuck leftists post for the day i promise (maybe)#politics//
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yippeee!! Finished the expansion 馃憤 now the EX2 mount will be mine and I鈥檒l do anything to make it m
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