#my shitty text post

[divineandmajesticinone]

a shitty movie from the 90s is worth more than the shitty movies that are made today

[fish-in-the-aquarium]

Shitty english time!

1. John/Sam becouse I'm the professional clown (you live on the green lock of my clown wig). Look, I'm obsessed with making things more "complicated" and a romance between these two would make Sam and John's lines even stronger. And truly terrible for Sam.

3. First place goes to two birdies because I'm against the system

2. Hansry is too good for this world but mentally I'm 11y/o and it's a little hard for me cos… well, me and Hans are the same person. This is an EXAGGERATION but I feel a boy who has been infantilized for a terribly long time and who is looking for a quick dopamine hit so that the impostor syndrome will scream a little quieter (but it only gets louder and all self-fulfilling prophecies will come true). My bb, of course you see that your kiss of true love was broken and you ignore Henry's hand and the fact that your beloved is just late for the finale of Mass Effect 2. You can't be loved, can you?..

As a result it makes me a little offended by his feminization which is, of course, very childish of me, and I'm sorry. I'll try to overcome a kid inside me and draw some arts with them.

So-. Well-. Y e a h . . . I thought I was too old and too settled to have my wig blown off by a villain but here we are. Istvan is... he is... mmmMmMmmmm. There's not much of him but the character shows so much in evry second of screen time? And yet it's all so subtle? Idk, brother/father came back from Afghanistan but he didn't drown in vodka and became the best "I'm an evil villain but I won't kill my potential killer" in the media.

Istvan, your depression is legendary.

Johanka. No comment. There must always be a mystery in a afab.

Second place! ✨Samuel✨

On a personal level all my subpersonalities are HUGE fans of compensatory destructive behavior in smart and responsible characters who are still romantics deep down but life tries to crush this quality with a asphalt paver (new comparisons are made up by those who have bad old ones).

On a character level, he's simply the hottest thing in the game, I'm drooling. He's mostly reasonable but pritty impulsive; smart, can be a cold-blooded liar but also sooo naive. I'm trying to think in English and I just have no rihgt words. He has a fragile beautiful heart and a steel core blah blah everything is realistic and balanced. Too good.

And it's true, "too goos". Sam is so complex, even over the top for the character of his role. The writers who prepared the boy for the end of the game overdid it a bit for my taste. But it's probably even better this way. As a basic person I'm 100% satisfied with everything about Sam.

Third place. John of Liechtenstein.

John is my first oc pure speculation (is he really that... idk silly? Where is he lying, where is he sincere? Does he drink with Henry because he is genuinely interested? Is it a professional interest? Or does he just need an excuse to drink?) but I turn into a tasmanian devil when art gives a character with a closet that won't close from corpses but they take responsibility for their own failure. Fuuuuck, he looks into the eyes of those whose relatives were killed because of him and escorts the survivors to safety (I could not think of a single practical explanation for his actions, wtf)??? He is too sexy for my miserable mind. Humbles from Pathologic, you'll always be famous.

4. Since when you love this game?

The murder of Runt and the particularly horrific line "a good Christian shouldn't remember such things". At that moment I realized that the writers live, have friends, love and I can have a beer with them (they won't want to drink with me).

I learned about the second part from the scandal. I didn't give a shit for two weeks and then I decided to find out what all the fuss was about. "Well, THAT game can't surprise me, I'm not that fujoshi anymore".

5. How you discovered it?

Back in 2018, I fought with alt-rights cos they liked the game only because it was their ideal fantasy, and not because kcd was historical (women's shaved armpits and smoky eyes, pff). I didn't even play thq game, I was just young and angry.

And I turned on The Scene(tm). And I was stunned. And I shuffled in my clown shoes to the computer.

Hey, KCD2 fans! I made a small "passport" for y'all!

1. What's your OTP?

2. If you want, you can list here some more favorite ships ;)

3. Your favorite characters (top-3)!

4. Since when you love this game?

5. How you discovered it?

[fanaticalthings]

the muskification of twitter except it's lex luthor instead of elon lol

<- Prev Masterlist Next ->

[ladyylavenderrr]

Made myself laugh with this shit

[stemmmm]

Billford fic recs!

I was asked a while ago (i believe by @kerink ?) when I shared a list of the currently active fics I was reading if I could do a broader rec list as well, so here it is! not a ton of oneshots since I didn't try to keep good track of fics until very recently. will likely update this over time!

there is ONE non-triangle bill in here, but what he is in that one is vague so maybe he could still be the triangle. schrodingers triangle.

Collections:

Valentines 3K challenge (all explicit)

you know it. you love it. if you haven't read all of them though, you're missing the fuck out

Stan Bros Coffee (G and explicit)

the espresso-Bill AU! there's a bunch of little fics about it and they're all in here!

Oneshots: (most oneshot recs are in the collections)

Eternal Devotion - Illusions of the Heart (explicit)

have you ever read a horror story posing as a love story? are you interested in the most unhinged yet cohesive internal monologue ever crafted? do you wonder why keyhole suddenly became so prominent in the fandom out of nowhere? all of these and more await you in here. click the link-- i am a normal fanfic

touch and go (teen)

it's portal ford, baby! great exploration of what prolonged isolation does to people and has excellent bill being sweeties

Haha He Fucked That...Spider? (explicit)

again, portal ford! he's the master of getting himself in stupid situations, and bill is the master of getting him out of them in the ways ford appreciates the least

Longfics:

Theseus' Guide To Ruining A Perfectly Good Boat (mature) (complete in my heart bc i know what happens)

why are you still following me if you haven't read this yet. y'all know what this is

Then it becomes, it becomes, it becomes a problem (mature) (complete)

how bad do things have to get before bill finally chooses to cut his shit out? the answer may surprise you! during-betrayal fic where bill makes the ingenious decision to bring a third party into the mix as if that would solve anything. breathtaking prose, magnificent character work, and the best fucking bill cipher writing and analysis there is! SO funny, SO raw and emotional. Jan deserves to ascend to godhood at the cost of all of her family and friends. as a treat.

Property of Bill Cipher (explicit) (good as complete)

pre-portal character exploration. the only fic i think ive ever seen that dares to say bill was doing extremely fucked up shit with ford the entire time before things went bad between them, it's just that after the betrayal, ford viewed it all in a different light. handles bill's obsession with the guy so nicely, does not shy away from the scary and unnerving in just the way i love it! it's incomplete, but the story is really just a series of vignettes leading up to and a little after the betrayal, so we all know how this is all going to end anyways. this one is formative billford for me

Creative Solution (unrated, but i'd call it mature) (complete)

what if bill erased ford's memories of the betrayal and weirdmageddon happened? touches on what it's like to be in a relationship where you're both deeply mentally ill and insecure in a way that really, truly hits me. absolute masterwork of digging through bill's fucked up psyche and the ways in which he Can and Will spiral forever

Multiversal Manhunt Moved to Your Backyard (explicit, but only the final chapter) (complete)

set during weirdmageddon, bill and ford make a deal to play a game of sexy scary hide and seek. it's so fun to root for the villain. this author has an amazing grasp on the character voices and tone, this is SUCH a delightful read and despite knowing exactly how it's gonna end, the tension still keeps you at the edge of your seat!

On the Level (mature) (incomplete)

marine biology AU where ford is a researcher on a deep sea base and bill is some sort of eldritch horror at the bottom of the sea. writing is lovely and it's really got the slow, ominous horror vibe down pat. it's tagged for Alien(1979) references so i'm personally waiting for bill to violently murder all of these people <3 also this is the non-triangle fic i was referring to

Take A Chance (explicit) (incomplete)

handyman bill thats very focused on how poorly bill and ford are able to communicate with each other, and boy, theyre bad at it. lots of cute family shenanigans and overall a very lighthearted read!

Impossible Geometries and Biologies (explicit) (incomplete)

the only pregnant bill fic i'll ever read because its carried by so much fun speculative biology. really has you nodding along like okay, okay even if i might not agree, i can see what you're cooking. my continued interest hinges heavily on whether or not they choose to kill bill off but i imagine we won't know if that happens for at least 2 more chapters

[jeffersonhairpie]

jesus christ superstar is about leftist infighting and hating your best friend and loving people wrong and the myopia of fame and inevitability and understanding that you were the cog that might not have turned and how love will not save the world because it is not enough and how people are fickle and how leaders are cowards and how the buck has to stop somewhere and how love doesn't stop just because it's useless or bad and saying 'i told you so' and how good will can never trump The Plan and how together we are so very strong and how God is not going to save us and how the story is incomplete because we have to finish it ourselves

[proselles]

What I don't get is why news outlets and Netflix are trying to convince us that arcane was expensive to make. 250 million usd for both seasons they said, and obviously that's a lot of money, but they make the mistake of comparing it to big budget movies like Tangled. So you're telling me that I got an animated masterpiece that combines multiple different art styles fantastic voice acting and creative and passionate writing, that's 6-7 hours LONGER than major animated movies, and its the same fucking price?? And you're expecting me to agree with the corporations outlook, that it's too expensive? Yes, tangled is considered one of the most expensive animated movies, but arcane is like FOUR Tangleds. Many other 3D animated movies fall within the 160 million mark, but again, they're hours shorter than arcane was. I think the prices are comparable. I believe in saw someone (on reddit maybe?) divide the cost down to minutes of screen time for each show or movie and it becomes really obvious. I'm also pretty sure that many of these movie budgets do not include marketing in their overall expenses; arcane does.

This isnt even bringing live action tv shows into the equation; i dont think arcane even touches like the top thirty of those. And yet it's framed as such an expense!! Bitch its an incredibly successful tv show!! Ik Netflix is cheap as shit and has its own reputation to grapple with, but is the disdain for animation so much? Is it disdain for female lead action, for poc representation, for LGBT rep on screen? For the animation medium as a whole? I know the answer of course. But it's still very upsetting to acknowledge and think about.

Separately, arcane is absolutely crushing it. Ik act three is going to knock it out of the ballpark. Keep crushing corporate execs expectations please.

[ewwww-what]

Are we all consciously pretending to forget that Gilear canonically said this to his 13 year old daughter, or did you guys all actually forget about it?

[violent138]

Alfred: "Master Bruce, you're home rather late, is everything--"

Bruce: "Alfred, I have a kid."

Alfred, already making preparations: "Well, that happens sometimes, Master Bruce. Are you... are the two of you planning to keep it?"

Bruce: "Of course I am, Alfred, he's in the car outside."

Alfred, thrown, but refusing to show it: "Oh my. So it was before your travels?"

Bruce, frowning: "No, it was like two hours ago. I got him from the circus."

Alfred:

Bruce, groaning: "I made a mistake leaving him in the car, right? One minute, I'll be right back."

Alfred:

Bruce, sticking his head back into the room: "Also he doesn't know I'm Batman, okay? Thanks Alfred."

[soundwave-radioandbroadcast]

Was chatting with my mom and she proposed this idea to me, and basically here it is/from what I remember of it.

Mom: Starscream should be in love with Optimus, but it's unrequired love because you know Optimus is like a big alpha liking the female transformers. But only Bumblebee knows the truth! So he tries to play matchmaker and plays romantic music to try and get them together!

Me: I-

Mom: STARSCREAM ALSO HAS DADDY ISSUES! YOU SHOULD WRITE THIS!

Me:...You know there is probably a fic like that out there?

Mom: IS THERE?

fun fact this entire thing sparked because I was talking about if Transformers were real, I would want Soundwave as my personal driver and she was just "Isn't Soundwave the one with heels and is very gay?"

[boobgoogler]

ema my beloved hater on main

[alexakakarumi]

Get streamer Sif AU BCS I am too lazy too draw more

[ninoochat]

[spghtrbry]

shepardize, like the wolfs at the door

[kitamars]

ginhiji is a workplace romance but one of them is unemployed

[plistommy]

Smooth, Eddie. Real smooth.