#my school counselor is homophobic

[sebastiansmytheapologist]

part 6

[the-starlight-papers]

Oh boy just found out that politics are coming directly to my conservative college campus this fall.

Yay.

[bilboblogsthings]

Well… I’m ready for 2025. See y’all in 10 months, I’m going the fuck to sleep for 43 weeks.

Bye! Muah!

We gave it our best shot. I am simply tired (and a bit ready to go apeshit if one more thing goes wrong)

[iiannabxth]

unpopular opinion, i guess, but despite the fact that nicole claims to be a sociopath, i really don’t think she is. (that being said, she still isn’t a good person.)

throughout the game, she does express empathy and sympathy for characters like jecka, ari, or even jeffery, but will actively choose to ignore her wrong doings in order to peserve her own piece of mind- something that most teenagers do. in each of the endings, nicole will reflect on the actions she took to end up where she did. her reactions can range from denial to her own faults to a realization of what she really did.

though it’s a comedy game, so everything is incredibly exaggerated, nicole is clearly depressed and extremely suicidal. she’s addicted to drugs to distract herself from her own thoughts, which allows her to feel better, even if just temporarily. i think her numbness and recklessness probably come more from her disregard for her own life, rather than for a desire for entertainment. she also has no positive role models, as her brother is slobbish and lazy, and her mother is abusive and irresponsible.

nicole was implied to be a relatively normal person before the events of both games, having become popular in her other school once she became pretty. she also talks about what it felt like to be considered an outcast and to be left out. during the game’s opening, she says she used to be nice and and friendly to people, but she ends up changing her tune just before the events of the game begin, choosing to decide not to care about anyone but herself. she even explains this to her mom during one of the routes.

from what i gathered, her dad was a nice person who was constantly taken advantage of by people (including nicole’s mom), which led him to kill himself. nicole was probably traumatized from watching her father’s suicide, and decided after watching it happen (and having the only words on his suicide note being “nicole’s fault”) that being nice wasn’t worth it.

for example, after the whole school turns on her in the suicide ending, nicole describes how hopeless and miserable she felt. she says how she learned exactly what people wanted from her, which was sex more often than not. she spends the entire route being friendly to people (mostly boys) she doesn’t like for the sake of “being nice” and getting them to like her, only for it to blow up in her face because she didn’t want to sleep with them. she feels taken advantage of, just like her dad, which drives her to suicide.

regarding her apparent lack of empathy, she is said to feel sorry for what she did to ari, though she chooses to ignore it because guilt makes her feel bad. as jecka pointed out, ari didn’t really do anything wrong, which makes nicole feel upset because she knows she messed up. it’s clear that nicole has a morale code, though it’s a bit twisted. she hates people who are homophobic, racist, sexist, etc. (she makes a few odd comments throughout the game, but my point still stands). her lack of remorse comes to people like kyler, who nicole hates because he is a known rapist and misogynist.

as i said before, jecka, ari, and jeffery are probably the best examples of nicole feeling bad for others.

jecka is nicole’s best friend and the person she cares most about. a key moment in the game that shows this is when jecka gets mad at nicole and they temporarily end their friendship. after realizing she’s in the wrong, nicole goes to apologize by getting herself stuck with the counselor (a man she openly hates) all year so that jecka can smoke in peace again, which was something she’d previously complained about.

ari is important because i think she represents nicole’s own sexuality. while nicole is overly harsh and abusive towards her in one of the routes, in the other, she supports ari at first, telling her that even though coming out might seem tough, nobody cares and that most people would be fine with it. i personally believe nicole is gay herself (based on her respective interactions with jecka and emily) and i think that how she chooses to treat ari is based on how nicole feels about herself.

regarding jeffery, nicole probably sees a bit of herself in him. therefore, since nicole hates herself, i think it led her to immediately hate him too. (that’s not to say he isn’t weird and annoying, of course.) jeffery is the school loser that everyone either ignores or abuses. nicole says in the opening that she used to be that kid too. in jeffery’s deranged texts to nicole, he says a lot of the things that nicole had said herself. in one of the routes, nicole can choose to talk jeffery off of the ledge, which leads him not to kill himself nor shoot up the school. (i think jeffery has schizophrenia, so there’s that.)

but like i said, just because nicole isn’t exactly a sociopath doesn’t mean she’s not a bad person. she’s still pretty awful and makes dumb and harmful decisions. i think she’s lowkey a well written character that’s really funny, but has a moments that actual inspire reflection.

anyways, i wanna know what yall think. i could be wrong, and she really could be a genuine sociopath or have sociopathic tendencies, because as i understand, sociopaths are made, not born.

[emberfrostlovesloki]

Teacher's Pet [Aaron x Reader]

Photo credits: Left (@littlecarmine) Center (@penandpaper-love) Right (@f4iryesss)

Prompt: When the reader, Jack’s teacher gets injured during the school day keeping her students safe, Aaron goes to check on her that evening. The unlikely pair get closer, but it's up to both of them if they want to make whatever they have more. 

Pairing: Aaron x Non-BAU!reader, teacher!reader,  ally!reader. The reader uses she/her pronouns

Category: hurt/comfort 

Word Count: 12K

Content Warnings: Homophobic phrases [from anti-LGBTQ+ protesters (the bad guys)], brief mention of religion, mention of being hit in the face and body and a split lip (reader) distress, mention of food and drinking alcohol, mention of an accident [not specified what (reader)], Haley’s death is brought up. If I missed any, please let me know. 

A/N: Hi all! I hope you are all doing very well! This fic is for amazing @imagining-in-the-margins's Pride writing challenge! I made up my own prompt for this one which is: The reader puts herself in danger to keep her students away from anti-LBGTQ+ protesters. Aaron finds out about this and makes sure she’s fine (aka protective Hotch.) I hope you like this more fluffy and cute style of fic. It’s a bit different from the angst I write. It takes me back to my early Aaron writing style! I want to note that I know that not all school districts deal with this kind of stuff, but as I live in the South, and my sister and I are both in Education, I get to hear about this kind of thing more often than I’d like. Anyhow, please be kind to yourselves this week and do something you love, you are so special. If you enjoy this fic, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! Love Levi - ❤️

List with all stories 

y/n = your name 

y/l/n = your last name 

a/r = age range 

a/d/r = any dietary restrictions (if none, please ignore) 

Aaron got the call from the school shortly after he’d finished an early lunch. He was seated at his desk, the soft glow of the lap lighting his space which was covered by the team’s files. He was going to do the boring parts of the files for them, as he always did, but his phone ringing had disrupted his workflow. He glanced at the caller ID and quickly picked up, saying, “This is Mr. Hotchner.” There was a brief pause before the woman on the phone said, “Good afternoon, Mr. Hotchner. This is Rachel Jenkins, the school receptionist.” Hotch nodded his head; he knew the woman well, as he had gone to the school multiple times this year already because Jack had gotten into some kind of trouble, or needed him. Rachel continued, stating “Sorry to disturb you during the work day, but there’s been an incident with Jack, and the nurse thinks it’s best that you come and pick him up as soon as possible.” Aaron stifled a sigh. He wasn’t angry at Jack. He didn’t blame him for acting out, a trait that had started once his son had started processing his mother’s death. The family counselor said that was a natural part of grieving for a child, and Aaron was sympathetic to his son’s pain and emotions. Sometimes he wanted to scream or lash out too, but he had more faculty over his emotions. Even with all that being said, Hotch did find it a bit troublesome that Jack got into scuffles on days that would have been easy for him. But that was neither here nor there, life, nor emotions waited for anyone’s schedule -- Aaron knew this like all parents did. 

Hotch asked a follow-up question: “Was this Jack dealing with bullies, or was this him doing something he shouldn’t be?” Aaron liked to know these things heading into the Principal or Nurse’s office beforehand, so he could set his tone appropriately. There was a pause on the line which made Hotch nervous. The silence was broken as Jessica replied, “No, Mr. Hotchner, it’s not that. I… I think it’s best that you just come down to the school.” This response made Aaron even more tense. 

What could have happened that the woman would hesitate like that? He sensed that an answer had been on the tip of her tongue, and she’d stopped herself from speaking because she thought it was better. Hotch furrowed his brows, got out of his chair quickly, and grabbed his suit jacket. He flipped the screen of his laptop down, then grabbed his shoulder bag from the couch. No matter what Jack might have gotten up to, not knowing if something bad had happened to his son, nothing would stop him from getting to Jack. 

Hotch hurriedly locked his office door behind him and as he started striding toward the stairs that would get him to the elevators, Rossi exited his office and offered a quizzical look at his friend. It was unlike Aaron to flee the office, even on days that felt like they were drawing on for an eternity. Hotch beat Dave to the question forming on his lips, someone would need to know where he was in case something serious came up in his absence. “Jack had some trouble at school and they said I should head over there.” Rossi frowned and said, “The bullies again? Remember my offer of teaching Jack how to punch is still on the table.” The worried look on Aaron’s face prevented Dave from joking further. Hotch pinched the bridge of his nose and said, “I don’t think so, I hope to be back in a half hour or so. Look after the team while I’m gone, please?” 

Rossi nodded his head in understanding and watched as Aaron took the stairs quickly down to the bullpen and out of sight. Dave closed his eyes for a second. He knew things had been hard for Aaron and Jack after Haley. There was no avoiding the hurt that lingered like a shroud around the two of them. He knew that Hotch had done his best to help and support Jack, but that didn’t make Aaron’s pain any less. If anything it made it worse because the guilt still haunted Aaron like a spector. Jack’s anger had grown and manifested at anything that it could get its teeth into, and often its victim was Aaron, who was trying his best. Dave bowed his head and saw the grief with Aaron. Rossi knew grief, it had been his companion for many years. And it hurt to see it on Hotch, but there was little he could do but support Aaron to the best of his ability and let time do its healing. And healing was a slow seamstress. Dave looked over the bullpen at the team working and smiling and turned back to his office, he felt like he needed a drink, but for now, bitter coffee would have to do. 

Aaron drove at a speed that was technically street-legal. The churning of his stomach and the constant red lights had him worried and agitated at the same time. Jack’s school wasn’t too far away, but he’d hit the lunch-hour traffic which made the drive at least twenty-five minutes long. Hotch jacked up the air conditioner to silence his stressed-out thoughts. If something very bad had happened, then he would have been told. And there was nothing on the news, no lockdowns, or active shooter drills. However, sending Jack off to school every morning knowing that that was a possibility didn’t make him feel good. 

It was the fear of the unknown that made Aaron press his foot down on the accelerator further. Hotch arrived at the school and everything looked normal from the outside. With hurried footsteps, he made it to the front office to check in. Jessica could see how nervous he was and the intensity of his expression. Aaron’s eyes, when they were dark and worried, had opened many doors for him, and broken many unsubs in the interrogation room. The receptionist swallowed and said, “Just grab a visitor badge and you can head to the nurse’s office, Mr. Hotchner. I’ll sign you in. The Vice Principal is already there.” 

Aaron grabbed one of the laminated passes and said, “Thank you,” as he headed out of the glass office and toward the nurse’s office which was located at the end of the central hall adjacent to the janitor’s closet. Knowing the Vice-Principal was present with Jack told Aaron more information, but not enough to know exactly what had happened. If he found out that his son was being bullied again, he was going to send some strongly worded emails to those boy’s parent’s this evening. As he was drafting the letters in this mind, he made it to the nurse and opened the door. As soon as he saw Jack’s tear-stained face, and that he was clutching a Kleenex in his hands, Hotch stepped further in the door and the nurse and Vice Principal moved aside and let him go to his son. Aaron knelt next to the bed that Jack was sitting on and embraced him firmly. Jack let out some sniffles and Aaron reassured him before asking for any information, “It’s okay, Jack. It’s okay.” 

After a few moments, Hotch attempted to move away, but Jack’s hands gripped the fabric of his shirt. Aaron moved his right hand from Jack’s soft hair that reminded him of Haley to under Jack’s legs as he stood. Unamused at how he’d been kept waiting, Aaron asked in a cool tone, “Would you tell me what’s going on, Vice Principal Westbrook?” The silence that stayed in the room as the Vice Principal picked at the hangnails on his fingers and looked at the floor had Aaron hot under the collar. Jack didn’t look bruised or hurt in any way, just very upset. Upset enough that he had wanted him. Before Dr. Westbrook could come up with a scripted answer, Jack said, “They hurt her, Dad.” Aaron frowned, pulled Jack back from his chest a bit, and asked, “Hurt who, bud?” Jack sniffled and replied, “Ms. y/l/n. He punched her in the face and her shoulder.” The words tumbled out of the boy's mouth and only had Aaron more concerned. Jack was crying again, and Aaron handed him back his crumpled tissue and pressed Jack to his broad chest again. Jack set his head on his dad’s shoulder and took comfort in the solid presence and scent that was always there for him when he needed it. 

Jack had done a lot of growing up in his short years. He’d discovered a few things about life that he wished he hadn’t. How people you loved sometimes went away, maybe just for a bit, or sometimes forever, but that didn’t mean they weren’t still there loving him. His dad was a prime example of this -- and even if Jack couldn’t articulate this, or might change his mind later, it was still true in the moment. As his little fingers clutched at Aaron’s shirt collar, Hotch turned to face Dr. Westbrook again. 

The slim man seemed to be trying his hardest to avoid eye contact with Aaron, and giving a straight answer to anything, but Hotch wouldn’t let him get away with this. Ms. y/l/n was someone who had become very special to Jack this year when he got into her class. Aaron also had a kind of parasocial relationship with y/n, as she had been very helpful with Jack and dealing with his grief and the bullying he’d been dealing with that year. Jack had brought her up early in the year and when Aaron had met with Ms. y/l/n for the Meet-The-Teacher night, Hotch could tell why. She was so bright. Her presence illuminated her cozy room which she had decorated with bright posters and lights. It seemed even the sharp corners of the room were softened by y/n’s presence. She had given Jack such praise for his manners, his reading skills, and how he treated his classmates with kindness. Aaron had almost felt like a lost that night, as he could only listen and nod. He had to really pay attention when some of the other parents started asking questions. Apart from the fact that y/n was clearly an adept teacher and classroom manager for her age, she was also pretty. Pretty in a quaint way. He’d left the school that night feeling oddly lighter than he had in months. 

The next time they met was at the first parent-teacher conference. That was where Aaron had learned that Jack was dealing with bullies. The administration hadn’t even informed him of this issue. y/n was very kind about it and wanted to make sure that Aaron had the right support for something like this. y/n hadn’t meant to question his parenting skills, but as a single dad, she wanted to get a better feel of how emotions were handled around the Hotchner household. Not just sad feelings, but anger and resentment too. It wasn’t until a month later when the bullying had gotten really bad, that Aaron realized, thanks to y/n, that he wasn’t equipped to handle this alone and had brought in the help of a family counselor. He had more contact with y/n after that, as she checked up on Jack and kept Aaron informed about his son’s grades and other issues that popped up in the classroom. 

Hotch could understand why Jack would be upset that y/n had been hurt somehow. He was also angry, and asked in a firm voice, “What happened to Ms. y/l/n?” The VP sighed and said, “Well it was just an unfortunate situation, Mr. Hotchner, but no one was seriously hurt and we’re launching an investigation into the situation that happened.” This evasive answer didn’t satisfy Aaron and he replied, “Great, but what happened to Ms. y/l/n, and why is my son so distraught about it? What happened?” 

Dr. Westbrook realized that he couldn’t talk his way out of not answering Aaron as he had with the other parents he’d had to have had this conversation with. The man relented and said, “Well this morning a group of Anti-LGBTQ+ protesters amassed at the front of the school and held up degrading signs and shouted at anyone coming into the building through the front entrance.” Hotch already didn’t like where this was headed. The political climate had many up in arms due to the acceptance of others, and they made it their goal to try and complain and intimidate those who didn’t agree with them and their views. The VP continued, “Well they were blocking the flow of traffic and harassing the faculty, so we had some city police move them off campus. Unfortunately, they set up on DeGhatty Street on the sidewalk by the area for recess.” Hotch nodded, getting a better picture of what had happened. But there were still missing pieces. The next bit Dr. Westbrook rushed through, but Aaron caught the story even if the VP was trying to make it hard to. “Well it was the second shift of recess, the time that Jack has, and the protesters became more agitated. They weren’t getting the engagement they wanted, and they started yelling at the kids. Ms. y/l/n was on recess shift and tried calling the school’s two SROs, but they were dealing with an incident in the cafeteria. The screaming was distressing to some of the students and one student started moving toward the group by the fence…” 

Hotch stopped the man and asked, “Was it Jack?” The Vice Principal nodded his head no and replied, “No Mr. Hotchner. It was another student, but other monitors and students did say that your son was watching from a pretty close distance.” Hotch narrowed his eyes but didn’t detect that the man was lying. Dr. Westbrook swallowed thickly under Aaron’s gaze and shaky continued, “Well Ms. y/l/n saw the student moving toward the protesters, and she moved forward to cut the student off. The group was unhappy about that, and they accosted her and made some false statements and allegations about her. She did her best to verbally defend herself and move back to protect the students and get them all inside, but one of the men in the group, allegedly, grabbed her shoulder, screamed at her, and then lost his composure and hit Ms. y/l/n in the face and chest.”

The image that the man was painting made Aaron feel his anger flash up in him. Not only was the VP using protective language for the protesters, he, nor the school had done a proper job of protecting their students or teachers. No wonder Jack was distraught. Thinking of Jack, his son had settled and Aaron knew they would have to leave in a bit. This was still a school and there were other things that had to be done, but Aaron asked, “Are the protestors gone now? I drove down DeGhatty to get here, and I didn’t see anyone. Also, how is Ms. y/n? Is she alright?” 

Dr. Westbrook nodded and seemed relieved that the conversation had turned away from the events of that afternoon. He cleared his throat and straightened his blue striped tie which didn’t match his grey suit before replying, “The local police came down and dispersed the crowd and told them they didn’t have a right to protest on the school’s block without a permit, which is true. As for Ms. y/l/n, Nurse Patty here looked her over and we decided it was for the best to send her home for the day. Ms. y/l/n seemed shaken up.” Aaron refrained from letting out a long sigh. Now was not the time nor the place. But the feelings and questions that flooded Aaron were that he wondered why the police hadn’t been called earlier, why the school didn’t seem up on its legal code, and the utter condescension that came with having to send y/n home for the rest of the day. What did the Vice Principal expect from her after being punched in the face? y/n had “appeared shaken up?” How the hell would he have reacted in that circumstance? 

Aaron didn’t want any of this frustration at this situation to make Jack feel like he was angry at him, but he would have a conversation with his son later about when to step back in a situation. But he’d worry about that later. For now, Hotch said, “Okay. Thank you for explaining. May I take Jack home now?” Dr. Westbrook seemed to deflate and nodded his head yes. The nurse moved over to Jack and gave him a pat on the head and handed him a lollipop. The older woman said, “Have a good rest of your day, Jack. If you’re at school tomorrow and you feel bad at any time in the day you can come and see me, okay?” Jack nodded softly and Aaron shot her a thankful smile before tightening his grip on his son and moving out of the door and back toward the front office. Hotch quickly signed out with Jessica and returned his visitor badge to the counter. 

Once he was back out into the warm, almost, summer sun, Aaron dipped his head down to Jack's ear and said softly, “Hey, Buddy. Would you be okay with hanging you with Dad’s friends for a while while I work in the office? You could camp up with me or you could see Uncle Spencer, Uncle Morgan, or Aunt Penelope?” The prospect of seeing his friends had Jack perk up and his distress diminish as he said, “Hm-hm. I wanna see Aunt Penny and Uncle Derek.” Hotch smiled and replied, “Okay. We’ll just be there for a few hours and then, if you’re good, we can go to ice cream after Daddy’s done with work.” That last piece of information really made Jack happy, and Aaron relaxed for the first time since the school had called him. It didn’t take long for Aaron to get Jack strapped into his car seat and head back to the Quantico Field Office. 

Hotch spent the rest of the afternoon working and looking after Jack; mostly making sure Jack wasn’t getting into too much trouble with the team. Derek showed Jack around the bullpen, and Spencer did some physics magic which the whole BAU oohed and ahhed at, even Aaron and Rossi, from a distance. Then Penelope took Jack into her office and they spent around an hour together laughing and talking. There was something about Garcia’s energy that matched Jack’s so well, and his easily distracted self could be entertained for hours. Hotch made sure to set up a fancy coffee delivery for tomorrow morning for the team out of his pocket. He knew all of their orders by heart now. He did this as a thank you to the team. Not that any one of them would complain about having Jack distract them, however, being a babysitter was very much not in their job description, especially when they were in the office, so wanted to make sure they knew how appreciative he was of their support. Each one of them had been there for him and Jack on numerous occasions when Hotch thought that he couldn’t go on. He realized how lucky he was to be surrounded by this support system. Jack had them too, and also his friends and teachers at school. Ms. y/n came to mind as he finished scheduling the coffee order. The thought of someone laying hands on her gave him a constricting feeling in his chest. 

Aaron let out a breath and looked outside his windows into the bullpen where he watched Prentiss, Morgan, and JJ kneeling next to Jack who was speaking animatedly about what looked like soccer practice. Hotch moved his eyes back to his laptop screen and pulled up his personal email. With a few clicks of his fingers, he had gmail pulled up. He hit ‘new message.’ He typed in y/n’s email into the ‘to’ box. It felt so strange to be the one initiating a conversation, especially a new one, but he cared about Ms. y/n, and he knew his nerves wouldn’t settle down until he’d checked in on her. 

y/n was the one to normally start a conversation either to check up on Jack or let Hotch or Mr. Hotchner, as she called him, what had happened with Jack at school. Aaron had only once emailed y/n for details about Jack’s day when he’d come home upset about something that he couldn’t quite decipher. She responded promptly and told him everything she knew about the situation. Essentially they had only emailed in a professional capacity before, and this felt different. For a moment Aaron wondered if anyone else had called or messaged her. If her friends from school or elsewhere were getting a story about the wild day she’d had, or how she was hurting. The thought made Hotch’s heart clench for some unknown reason. He typed out this message: 

To: y/n.y/l/n@_____ISD 

From: Aaron.Hotchner65@gmail.com 

Subject: Checking-In 

Good afternoon, Ms. y/n,

 I heard from Jack and the school today that you were hurt today while trying to keep your students safe. I wanted to thank you for putting yourself in that position for the sake of the students, especially Jack. He is very worried about you and keeps asking if you’re okay. He and I both share that sentiment. I hope the school fully supports you in what you need at this time. If there is anything I can do to make your life easier these next few days, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I would be happy to drop off food or just be a support if you need it. Wishing you the best, 

Aaron Hotchner 

Hotch hit the send button and listened to the little swoosh of the sent sound. Although he did feel better after sending the email, it was also odd. He didn’t want to come off as a parental figure to y/n. Not that he wasn’t older than her by a good few years, he was, but the idea of him coming across that way made him uncomfortable. And the fact that that idea made him uncomfortable only made him question what he wanted to come off as instead. Mostly, Aaron didn’t want to seem patronizing. He knew y/n was tough and could handle things, but his concern and care had overrode those thoughts. Hotch pushed those thoughts from his mind; he had good intentions sending the email and if it came off in another way, then at least he’d tried his best. 

Aaron looked at the clock at his wall and it was five minutes to five. Unlike a normal day, where Jack would have an afterschool activity or Jess would pick him up for a few hours before he would swing by and get Jack for the rest of the evening, tonight was different, and he started packing his things up in his briefcase. He took some of the important files and the rest he left for tomorrow. He’d come to the office early if Jack felt up to going to school tomorrow. Once Hotch had most of his things ready, he moved outside of his office. Jack was playing a game with Spencer, and Aaron called out, “Jack, come up here and get your backpack and lunchbox, please. We’re about to go home.” Jack looked up at his dad and said, “Just one sec, Dad.” Aaron gave his son a look, and Jack sighed, got out of his seat, and made it up the stairs to Aaron’s side. As Jack moved past Spencer, Reid gave his head a little pat and once Jack had passed the lithe agent, Aaron gave Spence a smile before turning to his son and moving with him to the office. 

Jack only had one binder and one maths assignment out on Aaron’s office couch. Jack had promised his dad that he would be good in the office, and being good meant doing five minutes of a math worksheet and complaining about how hard it was before the little boy moved out into the bullpen to see the team. Aaron didn’t blame him. Jack had had a hard and stressful day, but he did expect his son to pick up and get ready to go on his own. 

Jack was getting old enough for those things now, but Hotch still packed his lunches every day or made sure his son had money for his lunch account. By the time Aaron had his suit jacket back on and his briefcase and shoulder bag in hand, Jack had put his paper and notebook away and was struggling to zip up his small Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles backpack. Aaron leaned down and helped him close the bag and handed it back to Jack. Aaron led his son out of the room and locked the door behind him for the last time for the day. Hotch nodded to Rossi who was also locking up his office and then followed Jack down the stairs. The pair made it through the bullpen, and Jack waved at the team as he passed them. Aaron said, “Thank you” to each of them as well in his low voice. As Hotch got to the edge of the BAU’s area, turned, and said more loudly, “Thanks for today, everyone. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Morgan, Prentiss, Reid, and JJ nodded and said bye. 

True to his word, Hotch took Jack to get ice cream at a local spot not far from their house. Jack was ecstatic to be having sweets before dinner. Aaron had to remind his son that he still had to eat some other food once they got home and settled. Jack agreed excitedly as they walked into the pastel-colored storefront. There weren’t many people inside and no one in line, so it took only a few moments for Jack to order his chocolate swirl scoop with add-ins of Oreos and strawberries. Aaron got a scoop of brown butter vanilla for himself and then paid as Jack got them spoons and napkins, then found a comfortable table in the corner of the building near the window. After paying, Hotch sat down across from Jack who said, “Thanks, Dad.” Aaron smiled and reached over and patted the top of his head, replying, “Of course, Buddy.” Hotch cherished these moments. There would only be a few more years that ice cream before dinner was a big thing, and time in some things, such as kids growing up, moved so quickly. Not only was this time for them to have a bit of fun, but it was also a teaching moment for Jack. But Aaron was going to enjoy his ice cream first. 

Aaron dipped his plastic spoon into the slightly yellow-colored ice cream. There were specks of vanilla bean in the scoop that was slowly melting in the afternoon sun. Hotch took his spoon and slipped it in his mouth, sucking off the sweetness. Hotch let the cold ice cream sit in his mouth and melt with the body heat inside. The taste was sweet, but not cloyingly so which he enjoyed. The aftertaste of the browned butter hit as he swallowed. Aaron didn’t allow himself to have anything this indulgent very often, so when he did, he tried to enjoy and appreciate it. For many years, Hotch knew that his faster metabolism had gone in his early thirties, and treats were a thing he sought out less and less for himself. However, as he watched Jack enjoy his ice cream and as the soft music played in the space while the cars drifted by outside, he realized that this was something not only Jack needed, but something he needed as well. Aaron was brutal on himself and his body, and maybe he was trying too hard. He wanted and tried to be the best version of himself for the team, but more importantly for Jack, and he might have been taking it too far on his end. He relaxed a bit into his bench seat and took another bite of ice cream, this time just enjoying it for the sake of the experience. 

After their paper bowls were empty, Aaron took a breath and looked at Jack who was playing with his spoon and asked, “Jack, did you know what those people who were at your school today were talking about?” The boy stopped fiddling with his cutlery and made a face that said he was thinking before saying, “I think so. They were mad about gay people and shouting. They were really angry and I don’t know why…” Hotch nodded his head and tried to think about how to best respond. He had talked to Jack about the LGBTQ+ community, not so much like that but in the more simple and kid-friendly way of emphasizing that anyone can love anyone else as long as it’s not hurting anyone. That there could be two moms or two dads, and that not everyone felt like a boy or a girl. Jack looked up at his dad and asked, “Why were they so angry?” 

Aaron swallowed and replied, “Well, sometimes people don’t like something, or don’t believe in something. And they can think that, but the thing is that they try and want to make other people think it too. And when people don’t agree with them, they get angry. Because if you can’t make someone agree with you, then you can at least make them scared. And what do we know about being scared, Jack?” It took a second before Jack replied, “It’s okay to be scared but being different doesn’t mean being scary.” Aaron nodded proudly and Jack added on, “So they were just big bullies?” Hotch knew it was more complex with that but for now, it was a good analogy and he nodded yes. 

This conversation gave Jack a new thought and he asked, “You told me that I shouldn’t give bullies time, but Ms. y/l/n went up to them and tried talking to them.” Aaron nodded and replied, “Yes. You’re right. That’s what I’ve said to you. Things are different with Ms. y/l/n because she’s an adult, and she was trying to keep you and all of the students safe. But you’re right, for you, Jack, I would say to stay away from a situation like that, but there are some other things you can do too.” Aaron knew that Jack was a helper, and always had been. So in a situation where his son might feel helpless, he wanted to give him an option to do something that would give him power in the scenario and to do something that he was good at. 

Aaron stated, “So what you can do, Jack, is to find the other kids like you who might be upset. Because those people were saying upsetting and hurtful things. So you can find those kids who are hurting and make sure they’re doing okay.” Jack nodded along, this was something he could do. Aaron also added, “And if things seem bad, like if you feel unsafe or the other kids feel unsafe, the best thing you can do is get help from an adult. From someone you trust or know. Does that make sense?” Jack nodded and sat forward, mirroring Aaron’s posture as he shook his head yes. Hotch smiled and said, “Good, If you have more questions about today you can ask me anytime, okay?” 

Just as Aaron and Jack were getting ready to head home, Hotch’s phone pinged with an incoming message, and he checked it. The email was from y/n and he tapped on the screen opening the message which read: 

To: Aaron.Hotchner65@gmail.com 

From: y/n.y/l/n@_____ISD 

Subject: Re-Checking-In 

Good afternoon, Mr. Hotchner, 

Thank you so much for checking in on me. That is very kind of you. I’m just sorry that Jack or any of the students at recess had to see and hear what they did. As for what the administration thinks about what I did today, I think I’m going to find that out tomorrow, but don’t want to know really, nor should I speculate about it in an email. You are niceto offer your help. I think I’m just going to order a frozen pizza from the store and call it a night. I’m a bit banged up, if it was any more than this I think I’d have to go to the ER (that last bit is hyperbole). Thanks again for checking in Mr. Hotchner. I hope Jack isn’t too upset. Tell him I said hello, and that I’ll see him tomorrow at school! I hope you have a pleasant night, 

Ms. y/n. 

Aaron frowned slightly. There was a hesitancy in y/n’s tone here. Especially with how the school might react to what had happened. That, and the fact that y/n seemed to be in a lot of pain didn’t make Hotch feel good. It made him want to go over and see her even more. He paused to make sure this was still being done with good intentions. That his desire wasn’t just trying to find an opportunity to see y/n again. The feelings in his gut were still one of concern, even if his heart was doing something different. Hotch pushed aside the new feelings in his chest, something for him to contemplate later, and composed a reply to y/n: 

To: y/n.y/l/n@_____ISD 

From: Aaron.Hotchner65@gmail.com 

Subject: Re-re-Checking-In 

y/n, I’m glad you can bring some humor into this situation. That’s a relief. It sounds like you’re in a good bit of pain. Are you sure you don’t need to go to the ER? Also, would you let me pick you up a pizza? It’s no big deal at all, and that way you can save money on the delivery. Sorry, I don’t mean to overreach, but I am willing to give a helping hand if you want. 

Aaron Hotchner

Hotch really hoped he wasn’t sounding too desperate, or that y/n would think his offering to help her save money made her feel poor. He didn’t mean it that way. He’d tossed a few options out for her to reach out if she needed, or wanted help, or just some company. From what Aaron could tell about y/n was that she was fiercely independent. She’d seemed so put together for someone in their mind a/r. From what he could tell from y/n’s weekly email updates, she made a lot of her own classroom content and tried very hard to connect with each of her students. Not only that but from the two times they’d met at school, there were no indications that she had a partner or parents close by to help her with things. Aaron assumed this mainly because she’d told him how she’d had to learn how to fix the leak in her bathroom faucet from YouTube just so she didn’t have to call in a plumber. That was another time when Aaron had wished he could just whisk himself over to her duplex and lend y/n a hand. Before he could overthink what he’d sent there was another reply: 

To: Aaron.Hotchner65@gmail.com 

From: y/n.y/l/n@_____ISD 

Subject: Re-re-re-Checking-In 

Ummm, you’d do that, really? I don’t want to be a bother, Mr. Hotchner. I know you have to take care of Jack and everything… 

y/n y/l/n

Now a hint of a smile turned up the corner of Aaron’s mouth. He and Jack had made it to the car at this point and Hotch typed out: 

To: y/n.y/l/n@_____ISD 

From: Aaron.Hotchner65@gmail.com 

Subject: [Re]-Checking-In 

y/n, 

I’d be happy to take even a small load off of your shoulders. After what you’ve been through today it is the least I can do, and I can get someone to sit with Jack for an hour or so while I come over. To make communication easier, here is my cell Number: (804) 572 - 4459. If you’d like, however, to keep this over email, that’s fine as well. It might be a moment before I get back to you as I have to get Jack home and get him dinner, but I’ll be open after that and talk to you again then. Do you have any allergies or dietary restrictions I should know about before I go grab your pizza? 

Aaron Hotchner 

The drive home was quiet as Jack thought about what his dad had said. The sandy-haired boy had a few more questions which Aaron did his best to explain. When the questions turned toward religion, it had been a church group protesting, Hotch did his best to turn the conversation back to the key points. He rarely talked to Jack about church or religion, wanting his son to be able to make his own choices in faith, or not to have any at all. That hadn’t been a choice for Hotch as a child, and he wanted Jack to not have the burn of guilt that faith could bring unless it was something his son came to on his own terms. Plus religion had become a bit of a sore subject for Aaron after Haley’s passing. How could a fair God take away someone as good and pure as Haley? It didn’t make sense, and he didn’t have the will to study theodicy. So he pushed those thoughts to the background and focused on getting home. 

It didn’t take long for Aaron to get dinner ready for Jack. While he reheated some leftover pasta and veggies, Jack did his homework, and they both had a small dinner. Hotch also texted Jess to see if she was open to swing by for an hour to which she replied, “Yes. I never miss a chance to hang out with my coolest nephew. Are you going on a date or something?” Aaron rolled his eyes at the text, he suspected sarcasm and replied, “Something like that. Making a house call to a friend in need. I’ll tell you more later.” A moment later Jess sent a thumbs-up emoji and said, “I’ll be over in about forty minutes once my boys are settled, probably playing Fortnite or something *sigh*” Hotch liked the text and checked his messages to see a text from a new number which he correctly assumed was y/n. She had sent a simple, “Hello, it’s me, y/n. For your pizza question, I have a/d/r so knock yourself out with that. I’m not a picky eater. Also here’s my address, ________. I’m not doing anything tonight, I couldn’t even if I wanted to, so you can come over anytime, but before nine would be great as I have to wake up early. Thanks so much again. This is very, very nice of you. - y/n.” Aaron liked the text and replied, “Sounds good. I’ll make sure to make it to yours before nine. - Aaron.” 

Jess arrived promptly at 6:30, and Hotch let her know it was the normal bedtime routine that night. A half hour of TV, upstairs, teeth brushed, and in bed by 8:30. Jessica nodded and said, “Gotcha. You owe me a story for this one.” Aaron chuckled and said, “I’ll let you know. There’s an open bottle of Pino in the fridge if you want some. I shouldn’t be gone long.” Jess couldn’t help herself from saying, “That's what she said,” and Hotch flushed crimson. Unlike Haley, Jess had gotten the more crass humor of the Brooks family. 

Aaron left the room, keys in hand before any more jokes could be levied at him. He really didn’t plan on staying at y/n’s long. However thanks to the recent comments, Aaron couldn’t help but feel like he was a teenager sneaking out of the house to see some girl after curfew. Hotch shook his head at the silly notion and reminded himself that he was an adult man, and such thoughts were above him. However, he couldn’t stop the small thrill that ran through him as he entered y/n’s address into his phone. He swung by the local store and picked up two frozen pizzas that he thought y/n would like and matched her allergy and dietary restrictions she’d sent him earlier. He also moved to the pharmacy section and picked up some pain relievers, liniment oil, and cotton pads, just in case y/n didn’t have any of those things at her apartment. After all, she had said she was going to get stuff delivered to her, and he didn’t know if those were things she had planned on getting and then just didn’t tell him because she hadn’t wanted to be a burden. At least, that was how Aaron justified the extra purchases. 

Hotch texted y/n that he was on the way and the closer he got to her place, the more nervous he felt. It was strange. He hadn’t felt this way in ages. He had to keep attempting to suppress the feeling, but it kept creeping up on him like frost on the ground in the morning; an inevitable thing that he knew would change and probably go away with time. It was a week away from summer, there shouldn’t be frost on the ground at all. Hotch felt exasperated at his state and realized that maybe he was just too cold of a person and the frost stuck with him. Outside of y/n’s place, Aaron said, “Get ahold of yourself Hotchner, and be helpful for once, goddammit.” His little pep-talk got him to the door with the groceries. The lights were on inside and Aaron knocked lightly on the front door. There was a very muffled, “I’m coming” and all of a sudden the piercing darkness was broken by a stream of yellow light that poured from y/n’s open door. Aaron blinked for a second as he took in y/n. She seemed pretty relaxed in an oversized t-shirt and shorts that were nearly swallowed by the length of her shirt. She was barefoot and leaning against the door frame taking him in as well. Apart from the angry bruises on y/n’s face and her split lip, she looked comfortable here. ‘This is her home, of course, she’s comfortable’ Aaron reminded himself. 

While Hotch’s eyes had been adjusting to the light, y/n’s eyes were getting used to the dark. Jack’s father had always been an attractive man even though she’d only seen him briefly in the drop-off and pick-up lines and even less for any extended period of time. But Mr. Hotchner had a face, and attitude one didn’t easily forget. There was an intensity about him, a fierceness that could easily draw one in or scare one away. 

y/n wondered why the other teachers didn’t talk about him more. Maybe it was all the things he and Jack had gone through, horrible horrible things that kept people away. It made sense that Mr. Hotchner was in the FBI. He had a high-intensity job. All that energy had to go somewhere, and when he wasn’t being a parent to Jack and doting on his son, he must be doing dangerous and exciting things. Far more exciting than her job at least. y/n noticed his jeans and polo, a new outfit on him, and most certainly not his normal pressed suit and tie. y/n wasn’t complaining. His arms filled out the sleeves and his waist seemed a little less trim. y/n felt like a total fool for just standing there, realizing that he was also waiting to come inside, or maybe just drop off the bag of groceries he’d brought her so kindly using his own money and taking time out of his night. 

y/n snapped back to reality and berated herself and thought, ‘You’re fun little thoughts are getting out of hand. Please like he’d care about you like that.’ It was true, y/n had allowed herself to think, just a bit about the mysterious Mr. Hotchner. It was harmless, just small vignettes of them laughing about a joke, or holding hands -- kid's stuff, or at least it had been until he showed up outside her doorstep. y/n shook her head and said, “I’m so sorry Mr. Hotchner. I get hit in the head and my manners fly out the window. Would you like to come in, or just hand those things over? I can pay you back for them. Do you have PayPal or Venmo?” The words came out quickly, more quickly than y/n had hoped. There was no hope in sounding nonchalant now. A flush started forming on y/n’s face and she wanted to put her face in her palm, but had enough dignity left to not do that in front of the parent of her student. 

Aaron let out a little sigh of relief knowing that he wasn’t the only one who thought meeting like this was a bit, different. He wondered for a second why y/n had accepted his help, but pushed that aside and said, “Please Ms. y/n, you can just call me Aaron. I’d like to come in for a moment. See if you’re alright if you don’t mind?” y/n nodded and opened the door wider for Hotch. Aaron slid past her into the warm comfort of her space. It was lit mostly by lamps and the furnishings seemed soft and cozy which would match y/n’s personality. It was a bit more sparse and minimal than Hotch would have imagined, but maybe the chaos of a classroom called for order at home. The lights in the kitchen were on and the brightest. Hotch heard the soft click of the door behind him as he looked over the space. 

y/n stepped forward and said, “Well, please just call me y/n. Unless I’m in the classroom, Ms. makes me feel like a 19th-century spencer waiting for Harlod Hill to come into town.” y/n rolled her eyes at her choice of words. ‘Yes y/n, let’s talk about The Music Man in front of Mr. Hotchner, why don’t you?’ In an attempt to recover and hide her embarrassment, y/n stated. “I was just pouring myself a glass of wine when you knocked, um, would you like one? I can also take those groceries from you.” Aaron offered y/n a soft smile that only made her heart beat faster as he extended the bag of groceries and said, “I’m good for now. Thank you. Have you had anything to eat yet tonight?” y/n took the paper bag and their fingers brushed, the warmth of their skin spreading despite the frozen contents inside the bag. y/n cleared her throat and turned toward the kitchen in an attempt to hide how flustered she was. The cool linoleum tile of her kitchen managed to cool her down, and she placed the pizzas in the freezer. She tried to say casually over her shoulder, “I haven’t eaten yet, no. You can sit down anywhere if you like…” y/n didn’t know exactly if Mr. Hotchner wanted to stay long and she felt silly for having offered him a drink in the first place. Maybe he didn’t drink. By the time y/n had situated the food, Aaron had taken a seat in one of the chairs sitting catty corner to her tan couch. Trying to play it cool, y/n moved to her counter and poured herself the glass of wine she had been planning before she’d put her foot in her mouth. y/n contemplated that maybe this was why she was good with kids. The nuances of adulthood could pass over children’s heads so easily. They didn’t feel the awkwardness that y/n did right now. Nor the racing of her heart as Aaron filled one of her seats. 

She moved over to the couch and asked again, “Can I please pay you back for the groceries? It was nice of you to bring them, and for you to check in on me. I got a few angry emails from parents saying that I exposed their children to danger today, so yours was a nice change.” Aaron’s eyebrows pulled together. The comment about payment passed him by. He wasn’t going to let Jack’s favorite teacher pay him back, even if she asked a hundred times. But the more pressing issue was the emails from other parents. If y/n’s actions didn’t look good, then he didn’t know what they were. He asked in a low voice, “Why were they upset?” y/n bit her lower lip and cringed as the pain stung from the split in her mouth. She had forgotten it was there for a moment. Perhaps she shouldn’t have brought up the other emails. Depending on how the district’s admin took her situation, it wouldn’t help her to spread information. 

y/n chose her words carefully as she replied, “Well some were mad that I got hurt in front of their children and some were angry that their kids were exposed to those protestors in the first place.” y/n looked at Aaron and his slightly annoyed and sympathetic gaze made her feel better, safe. She hadn’t really processed what had happened to her yet, and she’d been alone since she’d been sent home. It was good to have someone here, and y/n took a sip of her wine and set her glass down on the table before leaning her head back on the couch and sighing deeply deflating slightly. 

In a smaller voice, a voice that gave away the pain she was feeling y/n said, “Maybe I shouldn’t have done anything. I just didn’t like the things they were saying. Kids are much more cognizant than people like to think and for those who have gay parents, or siblings, or might be part of the community themselves, they shouldn’t have to hear that stuff.” y/n pinched the bridge of her nose and continued, “This had to happen the week before summer break?” As y/n had her eyes closed, Aaron took the chance to give her face a better look. The bruise under her eye was turning a nasty purple that would fade to an even more ugly yellow color in the following days. The split on her lip looked nasty as well. The tender pink skin must hurt as she talked. He got what she was saying about kids knowing more than others expected. Jack was a prime example of that. Of course, Jack had been through more pain and grief than many his age. It would only make sense that he was more perceptive. The claims from the other parents sounded like bullshit to him though. 

y/n turned her face to him and said softly, “Sorry for unloading on you. I haven’t really had anyone to talk to about this yet. I don’t mean to hold you up.” Aaron nodded his head no and said, “You’re not bothering me, and you’re not holding me up. What were the protestors saying exactly, had you seen them before?” y/n’s eyes softened. She hadn’t really allowed herself the opportunity to picture Aaron like this in person, so kind and concerned. She’d just let herself think silly little snippets, but this gentleness hadn’t filtered into the equation. y/n moved her gaze to the ceiling and said, “Oh they were saying all the homophobic classics. Fags go to hell, god hates queers, and they were accusing the teachers on the staff of being groomers and turning the students gay, all that jazz.” Hotch rolled his eyes. These points were so tiring at this point, and he was annoyed with y/n for having to deal with this. y/n looked at Hotch and said, “And I haven’t seen any of those people before. Not like I’d be looking for those types of people on a daily anyway. They must have come down from upstate.” 

Hotch let out a small huff, his lawyer side kicking in as he asked, “You seemed hesitant about the school’s response to what you did today, and some other parents showed concern. Do you think the district might not support your actions?” y/n sat forward and took another drink of wine, more this time. It was helping her calm down. Not that she normally needed wine to unwind, but it had been a long day, and there was a very attractive man unexpectedly sitting in her home. That last fact was still a wonder to y/n. Like a dream. y/n considered that she might have gotten a very bad concussion and was being wheeled right now to a hospital. But she was brought back from her wayward thoughts when Hotch cleared his throat. y/n shook her head. She was letting her brain get away with itself far more than normal. But she blamed it on the pain, painkillers, and stress of the whole situation. That stress was slightly intensified by Mr. Hotchner’s question, but y/n realized it was better to say it out loud instead of keeping it in to eat at her. 

y/n sighed and said, “It really depends. You’ve heard about that Mom’s for Student Purity campaign at the beginning of the school year, I’m sure?” Hotch nodded his head slightly. He had heard of it but hadn’t thought much of it. Only that there had been some issues and poor behavior at the school assemblies. Aaron had assumed that the district had taken care of the situation and that’s why he hadn’t heard more about it. As hard as Hotch tried to be involved in Jack’s academic life, and he did show up to every game, play, and parent-teacher conference, he didn’t have much time for the school board meetings. That had been Haley’s forte and the thought pained him momentarily. Aaron wished he could live up to the expectation that y/n must have had of him as he said, “I’ve heard of them, but not much. I’m sure they’d have something to say about today.” 

y/n let out a little snort and replied, “Tell me about it. The district has been having a constant battle with them. Ever since the president and the vice-president of their organization got elected to the school board it’s been hard to keep them at bay. They’ve tried implementing book bans, vetting curriculum, and getting the librarian fired. Right now they’re not in the majority and their ideas are unfounded and impractical to implement, but they’re making things hard. Every time the district shoots them down, they start a new campaign and it gets more troublesome. I know this will come up in a performance review and if they don’t like it, they’ll find a way to make it hard for me. They’ve done it to others already. I can imagine the comments, ‘Teacher causes brawl in front of students leaving them disturbed.’” 

Hotch took a moment to think about how hard that must be. To have to be so careful that making a choice to do the right thing could get y/n in trouble. How the system was setting her up to have to make hard choices at the expense of her employment possibly. All of these loopholes reminded him of his own work in a way, though he didn’t have to deal with kids all day. Even though some of the police and sheriff’s departments the BAU worked with acted like children. y/n sighed and said, “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to complain. I love my job. I love working with my students. I love to see their joy and to have concepts click in their heads. They bring me so much happiness every day. It’s just the other part of the job, having to tip-toe around people and admin, it kind of dims that excitement I had when I was a new teacher.” y/n finished off her wine as Aaron took a moment to think. y/n had a great way of telling stories, it wasn’t a surprise that Jack was drawn to her tone and humor. It drew him in. He turned his head back to y/n who was now longingly looking between her wine bottle on her counter and her empty glass, as if trying to decide if she should risk another glass. 

Hotch asked carefully, “Have you taken anything for the pain?” He didn’t want to say that she looked rough, but her face looked like it hurt, and from y/n’s small grimaces, it clearly did. y/n nodded and said, “I did. I had some painkillers when I got home. I think I have another hour before I can take another round.” Aaron didn’t make a comment on y/n’s choice to mix alcohol with painkillers, nor the fact that she was drinking on an empty stomach. He’d recommend that she have some dinner in a minute, but for now, he said, “Well, I think if you iced your face for a bit and used some liniment oil on your lip it would reduce the swelling. It’s still going to hurt for a few days, but the bruising should be a little better, and it might tide you over until you can take your next dose of painkillers.” y/n nodded and said, “There’s a bag of ice in the freezer. I was doing that earlier but then fell asleep. I woke up in a nice puddle.” y/n grunted slightly as she got to her feet and made her way toward the kitchen. Aaron followed her with his gaze and he asked, “Can I refill your wine glass, and maybe you can try that oil, it’s pretty soothing. I know from experience.” 

y/n turned her head toward Aaron, he was being so nice to her and she wasn’t sure why. She didn’t come across people who were just nice for the sake of it often, and it filled her with warmth. She nodded her head yes and tried to imagine Aaron, who was always so put-together and composed, not bruised and bloody. The thought sent a pang through her. She wondered how often his getting injured happened, and if he’d let her help him like he was helping her. y/n shook her head. This was already feeling like a fantasy, she couldn’t possibly hope for more than this. Things like this didn’t happen, not to her. y/n grabbed the bag of ice that had refrozen after her nap, and grabbed a towel from the drawer next to the fridge, cradling the cool bag in her hand. y/n moved back to the couch and sat back down. The butterflies in her tummy had fluttered their wings like they did when they stopped to get warmed on the gray pavement outside of her house in summer. She wished she could still them, but at the same time, it was such a rush, they almost made up for the pain in her face. She wished she could get a better read on Mr. Hotchner. She knew about his son, and his circumstances, but even so, he was unpredictable like a comet. Why he’d offered to help her apart from out of kindness was hard to pin down, and she didn’t dare ask him outright. Why she’d accepted was another mystery. Did wanting to be in the company of a good man make her a bad person? Was she sexualizing him, taking advantage? 

Before her thoughts could take her further, y/n pressed the bag to her face, covering her and dimming the flush that was blooming on her cheeks. y/n pressed a little too hard and grimaced at the cold and the pressure. Just as she did this, Aaron sat down with her wine and the grocery bag. Hotch softly said, “Gentle now.” y/n looked up at him, half of her face covered, and smiled. She felt like I might cry, but she didn’t know why. How pathetic she must have looked to him. Not able to take care of herself. But she’d been trying. She’d been trying to prove she could care for herself forever. Now one had trusted her, not after the accident. Not after her life had been turned around. But she didn’t talk about that. She didn’t even talk about it with herself anymore. There was no point in self-pity, she’d lived, externally unscathed. For as perceptive as Mr. Hotchner was, he couldn’t know everything inside her, maybe that was what she was waiting for. Someone who could explain why bad things happened to good people. y/n swallowed back her emotions and wiped away one stray tear, and Hotch sat in silence watching her with concern. Wondering why her mood had shifted so suddenly. 

After a few minutes, y/n pulled the ice pack off her face and set it on the table. She then picked up her fresh wine glass and took a smaller sip, savoring it this time, as she did this, Aaron put his hand into the grocery bag and pulled out the cotton wipes normally used for removing makeup, then the liniment oil which was in a small dropper topped bottle. He opened the bottle and took off the paper cover keeping the clear liquid inside. Hotch screwed on the cap and then dropped a few drops of oil onto the pad. He considered that if this was for Jack, he’d use his hands, and let the warmth of his skin soothe the hurt. But this wasn’t Jack, and Aaron remembered that as he started raising his hand to y/n’s mouth like she was someone he could just tend to like family. Hotch froze mid-movement and turned noticeably red. He cleared his throat and said, “Sorry,” as he set the pad into y/n’s waiting hand. She was as shocked as he was at how he’d reached out for her. y/n murmured a barely audible, “Thanks” as she took the pad and, this time, more carefully pressed it to her split lip. Aaron filled the silence with what he hoped were some helpful reminders. It felt too awkward if he didn’t speak after his slip-up with his hand, plus, he was going to have to leave in a few minutes. He didn’t want to stay out late and the darkness outside was only getting darker. 

“If the school or the district ends up giving you any serious trouble, make sure your union rep is with you when you have to explain the situation. And, heaven forbid, there is some complaint and the union can’t do anything, I have a few lawyer friends I can get you in contact with.” y/n nodded her understanding, Her eyes widened at his lawyer comment. Who doesn’t this man know? Aaron continued, “You should ice your face on and off until you go to bed, and make sure you get some dinner before you sleep. You can also use this oil in other places if you’re aching elsewhere, just make sure not to get it in your eyes.” y/n watched him list off these things so collectedly. Not even having to think about them. She considered that he would make a good teacher if he was inclined toward that profession, but then again, he was the leader of an FBI Unit, how much more of a teacher can you get than that? y/n snapped her head up, realizing Aaron was saying something to her. Hotch smiled and repeated, “Can I see?” He gestured toward her lip and y/n let out a little breath and said, “Okay,” as she removed the pad from her lip and looked into Aaron’s dark, thoughtful eyes.

Hotch sat forward in his chair. y/n’s face was in the light of a lamp and he could see her full-looking lips which were pretty except where they were marred by the scar and scab of dark clotted blood. It didn’t look bad enough to need stitches, but just barely. He’d seen so many scars like these on Morgan, Reid, Emily, and his own mouth that it didn’t bother him. What did bother him was that what was a painful and annoying injury being inflicted on y/n. That would sting for at least a week. Sure it sucked when it happened to him or a member of the team, but they’d signed up for that, the most y/n should have to expect in terms of harm on the job was a paper cut. Clearly, he had been mistaken. 

Since they had both returned to their seats, y/n and Aaron had started drifting closer together like moths drawn to a flame. Hotch was about a foot away from y/n and could feel the ghost of her breath on his face and the hint of her barely touched second glass of rose now forgotten on the table. Without thinking, he moved his large hand up to the side of her face. The warmth of his hand on the side of her face had y/n rest her chin in his palm, and she closed her eyes. Not exactly sure what or why he was doing this, Aaron brushed his thumb over y/n’s top lip and then softly over her bottom lip. She winced as the pad of his thumb brushed over her scab, but didn’t pull away from his touch. y/n opened her eyes and Hotch dropped his hand. He leaned in slightly, entranced by y/n, her presence, just wanting to be a bit closer to her. y/n did the same. 

The moment was shattered when y/n’s phone loudly went off. Aaron dropped his hand like a lead weight, and y/n’s head snapped toward her phone on the side of the table. She turned her gaze back toward Aaron, but the moment had been broken. He looked silly, almost ashamed of himself. He’d pulled back and away and his posturing also made y/n feel like a fool. What had she been thinking? y/n got up grabbed her phone and answered, stepping farther away, but not so far away that Hotch couldn’t hear. What did she have to lose after acting so immature in front of him anyway? She could hardly think how she’d act when she saw him again, especially in the classroom. 

Putting the phone to her ear, she listened as her doctor asked if she’d picked up the refill of the medication that she had needed since her accident. y/n dipped her head. She’d completely forgotten about going to the pharmacy after her day and replied, “No not yet. I’ll pick them up right after work tomorrow.” There was a short reminder that those meds were helping y/n and she shouldn’t go without them. y/n nodded and said, “I know. I’ll pick them up tomorrow. I have enough to make it till then.” Hotch watched y/n cave in on herself as she walked away from him. He hadn’t meant to make her feel bad, or silly. He felt silly. Like someone who hadn’t been thinking about what he was doing. He shouldn’t have put y/n in that position and he was sorry for it. He’d have to find a way to apologize and leave y/n to her night before making some other kind of monumental error in judgment. 

Hotch heard y/n wrap up her call and her footsteps came back toward him. He stood and moved into the open space of the living room. The front door was just a few feet away and he felt like running out of it. But he stayed in discomfort and said, “I’m sorry for what I did earlier, y/n. That was inappropriate. I, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” y/n dropped her eyes again and said, “It’s alright. You were really kind to come over here and listen to me ramble and complain for half an hour. Not even my friends did that, and I’ll make sure to heed your advice. It’s clear you have a lot more practical life experience than I do. You don’t need to apologize for anything.” Aaron nodded, trying to accept her words for a situation he’d created. He wished he could explain what he’d been thinking, but he couldn’t because he hadn’t been thinking. The final nail in the coffin was when y/n said, “I hope you have a good night, Mr. Hotchner.” The change back to his last name, y/n hoped sounded regretful, but to Aaron, it only sounded hollow. Now it was Aaron’s turn to drop his head and he moved toward the door, stopping for one second as his fingertips brushed the cool metal, so unlike y/n’s warm skin. 

y/n didn’t like this. She didn’t like this at all. She hadn’t really known why she’d said yes to him coming over other than she wanted to see Aaron. She had enjoyed feeling his hand on her face. It was fast and strange like a dream, but she’d liked it, and part of her wanted very badly to understand why she’d wanted him here. And she didn’t think she could do it alone. She assumed that Aaron was as lost as she was. It seemed like he was. The words of y/n’s therapist rang in her ears, “Sometimes being strong is letting people in instead of keeping them out.” Just as Hotch’s hand latched onto the door knob y/n said, “Mr. Hotch… Aaron. I can’t exactly tell you why I asked you here, apart from the fact that I wanted you here, and I really enjoyed having you here, for all of it. I mean, like, before the phone call. I don’t know what this is,” she gestured between them, and continued, “But I’d like to understand it more. Maybe when the semester is over we could get coffee or something. Or if you don’t want that, I understand too.” 

There was a moment of silence that felt like an eternity before Aaron turned. His expression looked lighter, and maybe there was a ghost of a smile on his face that said, “I’d like that y/n. I enjoyed tonight too. You have my number now, so you let me know once you have the headspace to come up with a day for our meeting. I look forward to it.” y/n smiled too and raised her hand and waved. Hotch then moved outside and closed the door behind him. As he walked down the drive he felt better. Much better, and happy he’d come, even if he hadn’t been sure why, he had a better picture now, and he felt less guilty about it. He’d have something to tell Jess when the time was right, but for now, he could look forward to getting to know y/n better, and get to know himself too. 

Inside, y/n looked at the door for a second before she moved to it and locked it. She then moved to the couch and dropped into the cushions with a sigh. Once she’d grounded herself, y/n grabbed her glass and took another sip. The bag of ice was once again going unnoticed on the cushions and melting. y/n pulled the glass from her lips and contemplated how her face didn’t hurt so much anymore. Perhaps it was the painkillers, or the wine, or maybe, just maybe, it was the courage to tell Aaron the truth, and the possibility to know more about that feeling between them.

Text Break Banner by @cafekitsune

Tag List: @silk-spun @geminitapestry @alicewonderao3 @potatovoyager @looking1016 @princessjax @iniyalovesall

Want to be added to my tag list? Please check out this post (linked) 

Want to send in a request? Please check out this post, CM Request Post (linked)

[lelet-draws]

Ok, so given the Elon Musk situation, let me tell you a story:

I studied in a private school that prided itself on being inclusive and caring about mental health, even though they weren’t anything like that. Our school board would let you do anything you wanted if you were a poor little white neurodivergent boy.

It didn’t take long before a certain someone appeared to use this in his favor, let’s call him Luis.

Luis was transferred to my class, initially we thought he was just a lonely autistic guy, but with time we discovered he was a misogynist and somewhat of a neo nazi.

The first occurrence happened in P.E. when we were practicing our dance for our traditional Brazilian party (festa junina). The boys were free to play in the other whatever they wanted while us girls were going to practice the girl’s choreography. All guys left except him, who was starring creepily on us.

Did our school punish him? Of course not, he’s autistic.

Then he started hitting on a certain girl who had a chill boyfriend in front of him. She was very uncomfortable and it happened many times.

Did our school punish him? Of course not, he’s autistic.

Next he started making AI generated “characters” based on people from our class and whoever girl he personally disliked would be depicted as bald. He also whitewashed my mixed Japanese classmates and created a fantasy character of what if my readhead classmate had a sister (he had a sister but Luis didn’t know).

This is the character based on me btw, I was added later as the diversity hire:

Luis also did one of my friend who is a black guy and sent him in private. My friend described it as so racist that he deleted the photo and blocked the guy on sight.

Did the school do anything about him? Of course not, he is autistic.

This wasn’t the first time Luis had been racist towards my friend. Luis followed him the whole year, making racist remarks, saying homophobic stuff (my friend is also bi), being a pain in the ass.

So much so that my friend made a compilation of evidence of Luis being racist, misogynistic and homophobic towards him and other people and showed it to our counselor.

How did she respond? “Luis is autistic, he’s probably acting like a this because he is lonely. Have you tried being friends with him?”

My friend had to spend the rest of the year trying to contact one of the few black counselors to get some kind of compensation. All because people cared more about a nazi white boy’s comfort than his safety.

Even so Luis got away with it and the only change that happened is that he was transferred to another classroom.

The very next year Luis called a brown guy “monkey “ for disagreeing with him.

Do you really think it was the autism, even though there are countless other autistic people who don’t treat others like crap?

Do you think my school board should have excused his behavior even though it was hurting others?

Cause here is the thing, I don’t buy this whole “but he is autistic” crap, because it’s an excuse that people only seem to apply to white cis heterosexual autistics.

If you are autistic and afab you are an over reactive manipulative bitch.

If you are autistic and lgbt you are an embarrassing attention seeker that should be invalidated.

If you are autistic and poc you are aggressive and deserve to get restrained/killed.

But if you are an autistic cis white men, that means you’re just a poor little meow meow who can’t do anything wrong.

Be for fucking real.

[s10127470]

So you guys remember when Beau DeMayo's pitch bible for his own X-Men animated series got leaked a while back and everyone collectively went....

Largely thanks to the blatant mischaracterization and lack of the understanding of many of the characters?

Yeah, so recently I've been thinking about it again and comparing it to my own X-Men fanfic, "X-Men: The Next Mutation".

And it gave me the idea to do a Virgin vs. Chad thing where I compare the DeMayo versions of X-Men characters (more specifically, the ones that got the most controversy) and compare them to my versions of them.

The Virgin DeMayo Nightcrawler:

-Raised by Xavier and Magneto.

-Seemingly isn't related to Mystique at all.

-Was wasting his life away in a sideshow freak attraction (most definitely because of his mutation).

-Favors Magneto.

-Doesn't seem to be religious at all.

-Most definitely not a skilled swordsman.

-Most likely doesn't get any admirers.

The Chad Next Mutation Nightcrawler:

-Was raised by Mystique and the Brotherhood, but ran away because he couldn't take anymore of their violent ways.

-Pretty blatantly the son of Mystique.

-Although he did join the circus because of his appearance, he loved his time with them!

-Knows Magneto, but he ABSOLUTELY hates him! Since he's, ya know, still evil.

-Is a proud Catholic and very open about his faith.

-Is a skilled swordsman! Rocking the cutlasses everywhere he goes!

-Has a lot of admirers. But he only has the eyes for particularly lovely Romani mutant with probability manipulation powers.

The Virgin DeMayo Emma:

-A old colleague of Xavier.

-Is the school's guidance counselor because it fuels her love for gossip.

-Walking definition of a mega-bitch.

-A former London socialite and most likely rubs it in everyone's face.

-Treats Jean like absolute shit. Has literal beef with an actual teenager.

-Lets her pupils get away and even actively encourage them to treat others like shit.

-Definitely got her......endowments from surgery

-Definitely single.

The Chad Next Mutation Emma:

-Personally knows Charles, but not an old colleague of his. She's like, 21 in this series.

-Serves as kind of the resident therapist for X-Factor. But does so out of respect and genuine care for her teammates.

-Is rather stoic, straightforward and businesslike jack-of-all-trades with a caring side. Think Joe Friday from Dragnet or Cornfed from Duckman.

-Also comes from a wealthy London background, but prefers to keep that more on the low-down.

-Is very civil with Jean. In fact, out of all the X-Men, she's the second closest to her. Also, Jean is like three years younger than her.

-Doesn't have any pupils as of right now.

-Got her....endowments from puberty.

-Is currently dating a hot telepathic Japanese-English ninja girl.

The Virgin DeMayo Storm:

-Basically an edgelord

-Finds Xavier's ideals old-fashioned and out-touch and expresses genuine curiosity in Magneto's beliefs.

-Is literally a mean girl, seeing herself as a superior to everyone else, which somehow made her popular!

Hates Jean Grey and dead-ass sees her as competition for homecoming votes!

-Most likely straight (possibly even homophobic) and definitely not dating anyone.

The Chad Next Mutation Storm:

-While more street-smart and witty than most of her other iterations, still carries the trademark regalness and composure.

-Firmly believes in Xavier's ideals and wouldn't give Magneto the time of day.....because he's a madman.

-Is popular among her peers as well, but simply because just how naturally cool she is. Also, she treats her peers with respect and doesn't view herself as being superior to any of them.

-Loves Jean, is literally her best friend, and even considers her a SISTER! Plus, she would absolutely root for Jean if she had the chance to become homecoming queen!

-Is proudly bisexual and happily dating a beautiful winged flyer.

The Virgin DeMayo Colossus:

-Raised in the criminal underworld of Russia.

-Is the big jock on campus.

-Definitely isn't into the arts.

-Is a social climber and desperate to fit-in.

-Is a lousy student (because of course the jock would be a lousy student).

-Is quite aggressive and can be kind of a bully.

-Most definitely straight and homophobic. Probably trying to chase chicks all the time.

The Chad Next Mutation Colossus:

-Living a simple life on his family's farm.

-Not a jock (though he does love baseball).

-Is passionate about the arts.

-Perfectly fine with where he is socially.

-A pretty solid student overall (has a B+ GPA).

-Is a gentle giant, usually calm and would never bully anyone!

-Is pansexual and dating a cute cryogenic class clown.

The Virgin DeMayo Quicksilver:

-Is an all-around asshole and doesn't respect anyone.

-Impatient and entitled.

-Is of Boston aristocracy.

-Looks up to Magneto and follows in his beliefs. Though most likely not his son.

-Has no sister.

-More than happy to abuse humans.

-Definitely straight and most definitely homophobic.

The Chad Next Mutation Quicksilver:

-While cocky, is a pretty chill guy.

-Actually rather laid-back and humble. Despite moving fast, he would rather take things slow when possible.

-Is proudly of Romani background.

-Although he's Magneto grandson, does not look up to him at all and wants nothing to do with him in general.

-Has a sister.

-Doesn't want to hurt or abuse anyone in general.

-Is pansexual and dating a big blue furry, shapeshifting hunk.

Well that's all for now.

Let me know how my versions of the X-Men characters stack up to DeMayo's versions.

In fact, I'd like to see other X-Men fans to this as well.

Taking their own interpretations of the X-Men cast and comparing them to DeMayo's.

[tic-loud-tic-proud]

1 and 16 for the ask game?

1: Tell me about an ableist experience you had that threw you off.

The entirety of my public school years unfortunately. High school specifically, it's hard to pick just one experience. I was frequently put in seclusion (locked in a supply closet) and not allowed to go to any of my classes for the first couple semesters of high school because school staff refused to accomodate my tics and punished me for them. I also got physically restrained multiple times by the school police officers when my tics were really bad.

I remember one experience very well: I was ticcing while waiting in line to pick up hot lunch. A couple students in front of me noticed this and started triggering my tics on purpose because at the time my echolalia was strong enough that I was repeating other people's words constantly. They recorded videos of me while triggering my tics to say racist and homophobic slurs. I cried so hard after that and ate my lunch alone in a small corner underneath the staircase up until I made friends near the end of my junior year. The students that did that ended up getting suspended which made me feel a little better.

16: What disability space have you found most welcoming to you?

Camp Twitch & Shout 100%. It's a summer camp for kids and teens with Tourette's syndrome and other tic disorders near Atlanta Georgia, USA. For a long time it was the only place where I felt like I could tic freely, and I do credit CT&S with saving my life during times where I felt like I would never fit into mainstream society. I went for a few years as a kid and hopefully will be a counselor there next year!

[ghostradiodylan]

In general Ryan gets so mistreated and overhated by the fandom and it makes me sad because I really like Ryan even in my first playthrough :/ I get that the part where he was arguing with Laura about the existence of werewolves when he watched Nick transform and run out the window was kind of dumb but he’s all around a great character who’s brave and helpful and he helped save everyone’s lives in the best ending….

While I don’t agree with all of their actions I can’t bring myself to hate on any of the counselors. They’re all young adults who are stuck in a horrifying and traumatic situation, of course they’re going to be flawed and not perfect. It just baffles me how Travis, Constance, Jedidiah and Eliza do the most horrible things in the game yet people viciously hate on Ryan : (

Oh, the actual adults in the game are absolutely The Worst. (Even Chris, though I think he wants to help, is incredibly negligent at best).

I think there are a few things happening here that can turn people against Ryan (and I'm not saying anyone has to like him as a character, we all have characters we vibe with and ones we don't, but it's worth examining why we don't vibe with some characters especially when those characters are Black or other POC, LGBTQ, and ND-coded).

Ryan is a victim of some of the less compelling writing choices in the game IMO. They don't have anything to do with his character, really, he's generally well-written, but some of the things that were cut from the game, and the way the relationships unravel in the latter half of the game does Ryan kind of dirty.

First of all, his relationship with Chris Hackett isn't fleshed out enough for a lot of players to understand why he's willing to sacrifice so much on the hope that his mentor isn't actually a werewolf (or a deeply irresponsible asshole of a boss). If they'd left in the scene of Chris following up with Ryan about following his dreams and going to animation school and the initial confrontation with Chris that was patched out, where Ryan questions how he hid this from them all this time when he cared about them and Ryan trusted him (literally heartbreaking to watch tbh 🥺), it might have been a little easier for players to empathize with his loyalty to Chris. This kid has no known father, absentee mother, aging grandparents, a sister he clearly feels a lot of responsibility for, and his father figure who he goes to for advice left him in the worst possible situation. Of course he's going to be in denial about that and about him being a werewolf until he sees it for himself, and then Ryan has to kill him. It's so fucking tragic. And he doesn't even get a second to mourn or even react because the Silas plotline kicks in immediately (and they spent all the animated tears budget on Jacob).

Then there's Ryan's relationship with Dylan, which I could (and will) write about for days. Based on the game we got, plus the cut content, I don't think Ryan was ever supposed to have the option to get with Kaitlyn. I think that's a red herring that allows homophobic players to avoid a gay kiss (kind of a fucked up use of a BAMF character and Brenda Song's star power but, ok). I don't think he was ever supposed to get to romance Laura either. But I do think he was meant to be able to either end up with Dylan, or decisively not end up with him. If they'd kept the relationship system that we still have traces of but no actual structure for, then his ability to say 'maybe neither' to Laura wouldn't be something players held against him because it would have a basis in the choices we've made as Ryan (and Dylan) so far. As it stands, it feels like that is unsupported by what's happened in the game when we've had Dylan and Ryan flirting with each other and taking an obvious interest in each other since they were introduced.

Even if you choose the less favorable dialogue options, Dylan and Ryan are never really shown to be truly at odds (with the possible exception of the gun argument, but even that pretty much smooths over in the end). Even if you have them be hard-headed assholes to each other, they still have their heart-to-heart on the way to the radio hut (which I really think was supposed to have an alternative if they had low relationship stats).

Complicating matters is the fact that a lot of people really love Dylan. Obviously I'm one of them, I mean, look at my url and writing choices. I think Miles gives the best performance of the game, hands down (and I think all the actors did really well tbh). He's a great actor (his line reads are flawless and that sassy boy body language? I die.) but he also gets a lot to work with in terms of the script. Dylan is complex and compelling in a way that tends to be highly relatable for most people. He's probably neurodivergent (ADHD) but it's portrayed in a more palatable way for neurotypical people. Plus, as an audience, we are primed to empathize with the person who wants to be wanted, who is afraid of rejection, who has the cute crush that we want to see reciprocated and is trying not to get their heart stomped on. We've all been there! That's a centuries-old trope in drama and literature for a reason. And while Ryan does not owe Dylan reciprocation, we see some pretty clear signs of it at least being possible. So the game sort of dangles it in front of players like we can make that happen with our choices and then makes a half-baked attempt to snatch it away. That annoys people and, I think at least partially because Ryan's race and stoic demeanor (/autism) have people subconsciously primed to view him negatively, they take that out on him instead of the SMG writers who opted for that rather than fleshing out the relationships any further for the latter half of the game.

Like, yes, it's a horror game not a dating sim (Ryan and Dylan dating sim DLC when tho??), but you spend so much time building relationships that end up not mattering to the outcome of the game, I get why that's frustrating for people. It's frustrating for me! I just think being mad at Ryan over it is the wrong take. I still see people saying "Dylan deserves better than Ryan." Dylan and Ryan both deserve to exist in a finished fucking game where we have the option to get them together or not, but blaming whatever happens, or doesn't, on Ryan as a character is kinda trash.

[theoryandahalf]

I just realized I have literally no time & skill to write the Fnaf au/joking because it'd take forever

seriously though, why does everyone want to give students homework. I go to school , that should be enough :/

In a question I swear is relevant , team theorists as types teachers

MatPat would probably be English - don't ask my why he just gives english teacher vibes

I'm pretty sure there are studies that show too much homework is ineffective but don't quote me on it. Hang in there pal, fanfic can wait for the weekend.

I kinda agree Matt gives off Dead Poets Society vibes but I think he's said on record he hated English classes (was I the only one shocked that MatPat doesn't read?!). If he's teaching high school, yeah he's the AP Lit professor. If he's teaching college, he's the really young, oversharing Psych101 professor who's really cool but you also know too much about his wife, kid and cat, and his weekend hobbies. He's overcommitted on five hundred faculty committees and faculty Senate. He's won Teacher/Professor of the Year five times and he's not even 40 yet. In his spare time he consults for Google.

My other guesses:

Stephanie: Chemistry Professor or high school Chem teacher. God help you poor kids in her class, she's the strictest grader and the only time she unwinds is when Mr. Patrick sneaks into her classroom in between break periods. You know nothing about her personal life. Is she married to Mr. Patrick/Dr Patrick, or are they just friends?! Unless you have Mr Patrick and he overshares about her, you won't know, and you never will.

Lee: Bad ass History teacher all the way, in university and high school. He's also the advisor for the academic decathlon team. He's the chillest teacher ever and he'll let you sleep in his class. Just don't disrespect Tolkien in his presence.

Amy: Art teacher in high school, teaches fashion and design at the college level. She gives off 'mean teacher' vibes because most people only see her interact with Mr. Massa and Mr. Robinson and she often rips them a new one for being too loud and obnoxious. But she's actually fantastic to have in class and you learn a lot from her.

You also work your butt off. Don't take her as an elective.

Tom: ...I have no idea. I guess choir director? Tom is dyslexic and ADHD so teaching would be a hard profession for him. I can see him doing choir/show choir at the high school level though. He seems to give really good advice on his streams so maybe he's a school guidance counselor or adviser.

Santi: Physical education or kinesiology professor. He beefs with Mr. Robinson all the time because he keeps stealing his best football players for his stupid little drama club. Clearly PE is superior because there's more sports scholarships than there are art, so Tom is really just bringing down the entire school. Mr. Massa is also a very chill teacher, he'll let you skip class so long as Mr. Patrick doesn't notice you're not at the all school assembly (because he will notice).

Ash: The overburdened AV instructor/school librarian/media specialist in the Theorist high school. For college, they are the media librarian that just wants you to return the dvd copy of Return of the King, LEE. Ash never has enough money or time in any incarnation but they are the most cheerful and bad ass LGBTQ+ student club advisor you've ever had. Lies to homophobic parents and says they're just a gaming club because you do usually end up discussing FNAF lore for hours until Ms. Cordato knocks on the door to politely kick you all out because its 5pm.

BONUS

Head Editor Dan: Animation professor or creative writing teacher at Theorist High. Also does freshmen homeroom so he's constantly in pain and in need of coffee. Gives off 'don't mess with me' vibes but is a real sweetheart if you get to know him. But what you don't know is that he's pitching five different tv pilots and one of these days he will just randomly disappear because his show was bought by ABC. Ten years from now you'll see his name in the credits of your favorite show as the Executive Producer.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi cas! It’s RK anon again

I have bad news and maybe good news (?)

So essentially I talked to this teacher and she referred me to the counselor, but the counselor didn’t really care. She said something along the lines of a nonchalant ‘we’ll watch out for it’ and then sent me back to my class?? I think it might be because I’m trans or K is a woman (I’m R btw, the reveal :o). I’m pretty sure my counselor is either a terf or a homophobe, based on how she acted when I talked to her about my gender in the past. Anyway it might just be because she doesn’t care. And the teacher I talked to isn’t high enough in authority, and the principal probably wouldn’t listen, since it was when I was in middle school, and I’m in high school now.

A positive through (or, not a positive, but something I find a bit satisfying, even though its a little violent). A friend of mine went trick or treating (she’s a huge defender of my experiences), and she’d heard that K was around her neighborhood, and ran into her coincidentally. Me, my friend, and K were all kind of friends in middle school, but my friend always defended me. K had started talking to my friend like nothing had changed, which infuriated my friend. As K went on, somehow the topic of me came up, and K just shrugged it off. My friend was fed up and tried to start a physical fight with K (she socked K in the jaw), before being pulled away by someone else.

I don’t necessarily believe in violence being the answer, but I do think she deserved it.

-RK anon

Hi!

I'm so sorry your school wasn't helpful. Honestly, schools suck about that type of thing.

My advice is to get it in writing, though. Send an e-mail to your guidance counselor basically saying "I asked for your help and you said you couldn't do anything" because if, god forbid, something happens again, you then have proof that you asked for help and nothing was done.

I'm so glad you at least have a supportive friend <3 While I can't say violence is good, I can't say I'm mad about it in this case, either lol

[kafus]

the circumstances in which i was outed to my mom and then the rest of my family were so fucked. it was the same day i was forcibly admitted to the psych ward when i was 12 because of serious suicide threats/self harm. i got admitted to the hospital because i couldn’t take it anymore one day during school and i just blew up in the counselor’s office and told her everything, including the fact that i had an online GF at the time, and i guess she considered that a safety concern and she told my mom, which inadvertently revealed that i liked girls. but we never even sat down and talked about me being gay or anything bc my mom was way more focused on crying and begging me to stop threatening to jump out of the car on the highway and kill myself on the road on the way to the hospital. even after i got out we never. talked about it. from then on it was just Known. i guess she told my dad at some point and my siblings just kinda… found out eventually. Idk.

life was such a massive whirlwind in 2012 that frankly i don’t think i thought much of it at the time other than being massively relieved my mom wasn’t a massive homophobe or something. but now that i’m older and time has passed i am more self aware of how fucked it was that my school counselor shared that with my mom and how dangerous that could have been if my mom WERE homophobic. and it stripped me of any sort of formative “coming out” experience that i could have had, which sometimes i am wistful about for some reason. i suppose my own repression has made my lesbianism feel trapped within myself for a long time but i don’t have a way to truly “break the ice” on it bc everyone already knows. everyone knows i’m gay but somehow i feel like i’m learning that about myself for the first time again. but i can’t repeat coming out…

[blaqcats-fics]

The Deepest Sighs, the Frankist Shadows

STWG DRABBLE

prompt: rehab warnings: billy hargrove as an asshole, rehab, use of homophobic slur towards Steve note: this is an altered excerpt from a wip in progress

“You shouldn’t smoke.”

Eddie Munson scoffed, flicking his cigarette. He watched as the smoke moved through the air, fading away. He glanced at the boy standing next to him, the one who made the comment.

“It’s none of your damn business what I do,” Eddie grunted, taking another long drag and making the intent to blow the smoke towards the stranger’s direction, but the air made the smoke drift off away from the boy’s face.

“You’re right,” the boy said, shrugging. “It’s not my business.”

Eddie spared him a long glance, taking him in. The stranger was attractive, but that was all Eddie was willing to give him. The boy already put himself on Eddie’s shit list by being rude and not minding his business. That didn’t mean Eddie couldn’t take a moment to admire him, however. The boy, whoever he was, had a head of wavy, curly brown hair with strands of pink highlighting the brown. He had a nose piercing that seemed to be hidden away from his onslaught of freckles and moles. He dressed like a grandpa, though, which was weird — a yellow sweater, a white blouse underneath, and a pair of khakis with the world’s ugliest shoes.

“Are you here for the group too?”

Eddie glanced at him, narrowing his eyes as he dropped his cigarette to the ground, using his boot to ground it out. He glanced at his watch, sighing. He hoped that this dude wasn’t one of the counselors. The boy looked too young to be, but Eddie could never be too sure. A lot of people looked younger than they were these days, or older than they are.

“What’s it to you?” Eddie asked. He pushed his hands into the coat of his leather jacket, glancing away from the boy. He’d rather be curled up in his trailer getting high, maybe work on some songs for his band, then maybe pass out for a while.

“I’m Steve,” the boy introduced, holding his hand out.

Eddie stared at his hand but made no attempt to shake it. “Sure,” he said.

Steve dropped his head, laughing awkwardly. “Okay, well, see you in there, man.” He gave Eddie a small smile, before walking past him and disappearing into the building, leaving Eddie alone with his thoughts once more.

Eddie glanced down at the butt of the cigarette he stumped out, letting out a low groan. He wished that he had smoked a joint instead of a lousy piece of tobacco he had stolen from Wayne’s pack. Maybe he should have downed a beer before he came, that could have helped his edge, but that was why he was here. He had unhealthy coping mechanisms and had been forcefully made to attend these group therapy sessions by both his Uncle Wayne and the lovely judicial system of Hawkins, Indiana. He would have bailed, but unfortunately, Eddie needed therapy both because it was court-ordered and because he needed extra credits to finally graduate from high school. He was on his third go-around, and he couldn’t afford to keep wasting his days in a school full of assholes.

He pushed himself off the brick wall, moving his hands out of his pocket and rubbing his face, blinking away any tiredness. He could do this. He could smile, laugh, and pretend everything was okay. He had to do this for himself and for Uncle Wayne. He had promised his uncle after all, and Eddie had a good motive outside of his uncle.

Eddie walked to the double door, pushed it open, and stepped inside the Youth Center. The heat of the building caused a small sweat to break out on his brow, but it was to be expected from the sudden change in temperature. It was mid-winter outside, and inside it was like summer all over again. Looking around, Eddie was surprised to see how well-kept it was, but it was a short-lived feeling. He wouldn’t be here if it hadn’t been for Al.

Al was Eddie’s father, a piece of shit scumbag who had waltzed back into town and broken Eddie’s world apart for a third time. Now, Rory was sitting in a cell somewhere, rotting, and Eddie couldn’t have been happier about it. Eddie hated the man to his core and every time he thought of his father, his blood boiled. Rory Munson was the last person that Eddie needed to think of.

Taking a deep breath, Eddie walked into the common room, trying his best to not draw attention to himself — which was a difficult thing to do when he looked the way he did. The common room was warmer than Eddie was expecting for a place where shrinks worked. The room was painted in a soft green color, with couches and chairs spread around the room. There were bookshelves, which Eddie took note to look at. Maybe they’d have a copy of the Hobbit or maybe something from Lovecraft. Moving past inspecting the interior, Eddie found himself looking over the other kids that were already there. Steve was sitting in the far back of the room, chatting with a blonde girl who looked like she hadn’t slept in a week. Across from them, on the other side of the room was a face that Eddie didn’t expect to see, and it wasn’t a warm feeling.

“Billy,” Eddie gritted out, causing the blond to look his way, sneering back at him. They both went to the same high school, and it was common knowledge to anyone who knew either of them, was a simple fact that they hated each other. Billy was everything Eddie despised.

“Wish I could say it’s a surprise seeing you here, freak,” Billy smirked, standing from where he sat. “Though, I think you forgot to take the turn to the prison in Greensville.”

Eddie narrowed his eyes, “Laugh it up, Hargrove. Bet you wish that’s where your daddy was.” He could feel everyone’s stare and did what he could to avoid it. He wished Billy hadn’t been here. It would have made sinking into the shadows easier, but Eddie never said he had an easy life.

Billy, however, noticed Steve and the girl’s gaze. “The fuck you looking at, fag?” he snapped, sneering towards Steve. Eddie didn’t miss how Steve flinched before a cloud of grief briefly crossed his face. He watched as the girl grabbed his shoulder, squeezing it, but with an angry expression, she didn’t say anything.

“Shut the fuck, Hargrove. You’re one to talk,” Eddie snapped before he could stop himself. “I heard Tommy H gets you off in the locker room on Thursdays.”

Eddie could feel Steve’s surprised glance, but he ignored him, focusing on Billy’s now red face. “The fuck did you just say, Munson? You have a death wish?” he growled, walking towards him, his lip curled up into a snarl.

“You heard what I said,” Eddie snapped. “Takes one to know one, right?”

“I’m going to fuc—,” Billy’s voice was cut short when the door opened and an older woman walked through the door, her voice filling the room, and Eddie felt a wave of relief wash over him. He was always more bark than bite, and he knew arguing with Billy would bite him in the ass later on.

“Good morning!” the woman spoke, her voice filling the room. She had shoulder-length brown hair with strands of gray, reflecting her age. She had a clipboard tucked under her arm, and she had a kind smile. Eddie wondered if she was purposely ignoring the tension lingering in the air. “We’re waiting for just a few more people, and when they get here we can get started! Sit where you feel comfortable!”

Billy glared at Eddie before turning away and slumping in the seat he had been in previously. Eddie breathed, moving to sit on the window ledge, letting his head rest against the cool glass. He didn’t care if he indirectly outed himself. He could care less about people knowing he liked fucking other guys. Hawkins was a small town, so it wasn’t like he was actively fucking anyone in town because most people weren’t into that, but people made it a problem.

Not that Eddie cared. He had been pushed into walls, punched in the face, called a queer, anything a person could think of. He was used to it, even if he wished he wasn’t. Life was life, and Eddie had little control over how people viewed him. Billy had made himself a problem in Eddie’s life. It was a realization that Eddie had when he first moved to Hawkins years ago. Many people made Eddie’s life difficult, way more than Billy did. Jason Carver was another prime example, and he was just glad Jason was an ‘angel’ that he didn’t have to come to group therapy.

Fuck him, honestly.

Eddie had enough problems and didn’t need anymore, but he could easily tell that Steve would quickly become one. Eddie had a type, and Steve was that type, or at least close to his type. Actually, maybe Steve was far from his type. He seemed like one of those boys you would take home to your parents. Steve seemed like parents liked him. Eddie had always gone for quick and easy guys — one’s that he could easily forget the name of. Call Eddie a horrible person, but life had made it adjacently clear that happiness wasn’t in his cards. There was also the tiny fact that Billy was an idiot, and there was no way Steve was gay. Sure, the boy had pink highlights in his hair, but there was something that screamed ‘straight’ and ‘boy next door’ about him.

Eddie couldn’t give up his hopes over a pretty face, especially in Hawkins. He did want to keep whatever little reputation he had. Falling in love with a straight boy and being publicly humiliated was not in his cards. Not that his being publicly humiliated hadn't happened yet. He was in rehab (though the Judge labeled it therapy) for a reason.

The door that led into the room opened and closed, causing noise to fill the awkward silence lingering through the room. The last few people came into the room, and Eddie took a moment to examine the ‘newbies.’ The first person was a boy. He was tall and thin, but there was something about him that made Eddie feel uneasy. Maybe it was because the boy looked too clean and too put together. Next to him was a younger girl with buzzed hair and a blank stare. He noticed that she had ink on her wrist, but couldn’t make out whether it was a tattoo or a sharpie job. The two of them sat near the entrance, staying close together. It made Eddie wonder if they were siblings. The two barely looked anything like each other, but Eddie didn’t care enough to know if they were actually siblings or not. Walking past them was another girl, around Eddie’s age. She looked familiar, but Eddie couldn’t put a finger on who she was. She had shoulder-length hair that was light brown, and she had freckles adorning her face. She was wearing brown khakis and a tucked-in white blouse with a tie. Eddie knew immediately that she was a lesbian, and that was on functioning gaydars.

She sat next to Steve, and Eddie wondered how the two knew each other, but he didn’t have much time to wonder why she was familiar or her relationship with Steve.

“Good, it seems that everyone is here!” the older woman beamed, taking her clipboard from under her arms and glancing over it before nodding. “I’m Mrs. Byers, but feel free to call me Joyce. I want you all to feel comfortable during our time together for the next several weeks. I am aware that most of you aren’t here by choice, and I know that it will take a moment to adjust, but I hope that we can all work together and be respectful to everyone.”

Yeah. This was going to be just great.

[jewbeloved]

Trigger warning: $uicidal thoughts, bullying mentioned, ableism, a ltitle swearing.

If you aren't interested in reading vents and only read it for the giggles, then please scroll away.

Sign...where do I even begin? I'm just sick and tired of always telling myself everything is going to be alright. If I'm being honest, social media and the Internet is probably what's keeping me alive. I always use it to cope and disconnect myself from the shit that's around me. I feel like my mental health isn't getting better at all, instead it's just getting worse. Often I keep having thoughts in my head that nobody even cares about me and I start to wonder if that is actually true.

I have been dealing with family issues and bullying for years now....No I am not being @bu$ed or anything. But compared to other people and my family, I feel they just don't understand me. I have severe trust issues that I can't even talk to anybody about my problems anymore. Not even adults. Talking to my guidance counselor made me realize that.

Imagine giggling and making faces while someone is venting or talking about their problems. My family gives me the impression that they would probably do what my guidance counselor did but in a more different way..I feel like my feelings and problems are just a joke to everyone and they also use it to lecture me for no reason.

I used to be really outgoing and energetic and I loved talking to people. But now, I'm just a shut-in quiet kid. I don't feel like myself at all anymore. Family issues, ableism, and judgment got to me. I just couldn't handle it anymore.

Now that I am all quiet and stuff, nobody wants to judge me or pick on me. I'm honestly still surprised I am even alive at this point given how an obnoxious kid back in middle school told me to drink BLEACH. Damn, I have already been given a d€ath threat for the first time in my life before I even reached high school.

Ugh. I really like spending time on social media because it helps distract me from the pain I have experienced outside of it. Making posts, fanfics, art, playing games, watching videos. All of that stuff makes me happy...but someday I feared that it won't be enough to stop me from pushing myself to the edge and offing myself.

Even if someone wanted to be my friend, I feel like they wouldn't last long and just get bored of me because most of the people I talk to have no clue what the stuff I am interested in are, I would just feel like I'm talking to a brick wall.

My family is homophobic and they probably wouldn't accept me if they found out I was Asexual or just a part of the LGBTQ community in general. I am a biological sex female at birth, but I want to identify as a non-binary person as my gender. Which is something I would never speak about with my parents since they love to chat about anything they hear to everyone and I don't want that.

--------------------------------------------------------------

I'm terribly sorry that this vent long guys, I have so many things going on in my life which impacts on how long it takes me to post anything here. I don't know what else to say so I will end it here, I hope you all have a wonderful night.. (I'm writing this at 4:13 am in the middle of the night).

[rgr-pop]

okay my job is Very blue collar, can you talk more about being told to go to a… doctor’s appointment???? for inappropriate workplace behavior? is this common? obv not saying you were actually inappropriate. but if someone was homophobic at your workplace, hr can tell them go to therapy??? like a tumblrina scorned???

yes well i can do my best! officially i can say all this now Technically but dont rb but if you are in the field im happy to speak to colleagues, i had a disciplinary action filed against me for privately correcting a coworker for using the wrong pronouns for a trans girl student. she is on the school board and she works closely with someone who lost a city council race in large part because she had worked with bethany christian services and was discredited. so of course i very innocently talked to our director about how im soooo worried about her possibly being radicalized by this issue on the school board--have you watched the news? no? are you not getting the ALA emails....? so i had a conversation with her about she pronouns, she screamed in front of patrons that nobody can tell her what she has to call them. she called our student a karen. i asked my director to handle this, specifically said if you ask me to handle this i will feel like its undue attention as a queer person in the workplace please have someone else do it. set up a process for pronoun stuff, i found him some training resources, the whole thing. his solution was to force me in a meeting with this person in which she said that pronouns quote reminded her of being enslaved. i was not allowed to leave, cried, made five or six on paper and recorded on video claims of quote homophobic retaliation. the other person filed a complaint against me which means she cant face any disciplinary response. officially my report on paper you can probably FOIA it says that the discipline was for using the word homophobic and transphobic. well actually my discipline was for rude behavior in that meeting plus saying the words homophobic and transphobic but they found in my hearing that i was appropriately apologetic for raising my voice and crying but that i refused to apologize for saying homophobic and transphobic (they didnt ask me to but obviously i would not have. so thats what my report says. a little birdie told me that in the hearing discussion the words quote religious freedom were tossed around. its unofficially prohibited to communicate about someones pronouns in the library until further notice and ive been told they will get a procedure on paper next year. as a consequence for my behavior (saying homophobic and transpobic i face mandatory counseling. can they do this - i think yes but i really think its a legal technicality that has never seemed a winnable fight to anyone. my understanding is that it is probably common. what i believe is typically the case is that employers will partner with something called an employee assistance program. the employee-facing component of these orgs is access to mental health services as a benefit (in the case of me, in lieu of healthcare benefits(. employers partner with these orgs to offer those employee-facing mental health services while contracting the company for other org psych/HR services. here is one of the big companies that does this, based in detroit, who i believe does this work with state of michigan employees (who i am not( - https://hmsanet.com/managed-behavioral-health.html the employer contracts this company to provide employee benefit limited mental health services and also uses their services for various disciplinary, mediation, crisis management, probably also consulting purposes. in my case, im being required to have a counseling session with a counselor through what is described by the company and my employer as a voluntary program, but i have been instructed that doing so is mandatory.

interestingly, in the past when ive worked with union members who got this disciplinary action, it was posed to them as they could choose to go to counseling or have a higher level disciplinary action. i was expecting this to happen to me, but i was not given the false option. mandatory referral through your employer are the words used. im required to sign a release of information allowing the counselor to disclose information about my participation and progress and it appears that this will likely be in the form of a checklist certifying my compliance. obviously what i would prefer is to create an even more complete paper trail of them doing homophobia on purpose so were considering the strategy...

[confessions-official]

My father works in the us doj and actively does fucked up shit directly on behalf of the govt. he’s involved in a couple investigations regarding hamas, none of which I have any details on.

We’ve been on thin ice for my whole life, seeing as he’s a steadfast transphobe and homophobe, but I just can’t take any more of this.

Hes the one who allows my mother to feed us and save for retirement through his alimony payments, he’s the one who keeps a roof over our heads, and even after every fight I still bury my hurt and let myself believe for a few hours that he’s a good person, that he is just the man who makes me laugh at the dinner table, who brought home my first puppy, who decorates the Christmas tree with me. I let myself pretend he’s not the man who froze out my mother, who put her through emotional hell, who hit me when I stood up to him, who battled doctors and counselors day in and day out to keep me away from therapy and medicine, who works in a building furnished entirely with products made by federal prisoners who work for pennies an hour — people he helps put there, who’s working in the interest of Israel so they can more easily exterminate Palestinians.

I come from his blood and he is a monster and I can’t seem to stop the aching in my heart that wants to love him. I don’t want to love him, he’s done terrible things, but I can’t find a way to stop them, or fix them, or sever this connection he built into me. He’s going to put me through college, he pays for my dinner, for my shoes, for my phone. And he got that money through blood, through imperialism. And he’s going to drive me to school, and wave goodbye, and smile, and take me to church, and sit there while the pastor yells of transgender sinners.

I feel like a fraud, I feel like a fool, I feel selfish, I feel guilty. I don’t know. I don’t know why anything is anything at all. I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t know what’s right, what’s good, I don’t know how to help, and I don’t know how to get help.

.