#my parents did their best!!!!!

[lilyliveredlittlerichboy]

it's funny how my outlook has shifted from

"i got basically the best start in life, being born to white, academically educated, loving parents, in West Germany in the 90s"

to

"there was literally no way i wasn't gonna emerge out of that life traumatised, as a neurodivergent, queer, and sensitive person"

and i think honestly 2 things can be true at the same time. i grew up in privilege and it fucked me up in a delicate and difficult to articulate way. my parents did the best they could with the information they had at the time; they still messed me up.

as I've learned about trauma and trauma responses, I recognise a lot of my behaviour as trauma response, even behaviour that's been a key part of me since before I started struggling in school. (The onset of my more visible, more obvious trauma.)

I just keep thinking about my personality being in close proximity to my parents, as a tiny baby, their first, when they were younger than I am now and likely overwhelmed and stressed out. I was an "easy baby", I would let them sleep through the night early, I was happy and smiley often from early on.

It could just be that that's who I am as a person, intrinsically. Passive, sweet, not wanting to be a nuisance.

But, knowing my brain, (not remembering early infancy stuff but still knowing that this is the same brain with its ridiculous ability to learn things extremely fast and hold on to the lesson for life) I can very easily imagine a situation where I cried for attention and noticed my parents being annoyed at that. A situation where I noticed patterns, for example mum is always annoyed if I cry late at night so I'll suck it up until the morning.

Can babies do that? It doesn't seem outside the realm of possibility, given the frankly stupid amount of control I have over my impulses, especially as someone with ADHD. Knowing how sensitive I am, knowing how fast I learn. Knowing how much I thrive off positive responses, how early did I learn that smiling gave positive responses and crying didn't?

It's a whole clusterfuck. Someone like me could have ended up on the receiving end of much worse abuse. Someone like me in a more destructive household could have either turned tough and uncaring, or died long before they reached my current age.

I still got probably one of the better starts in life, all things considered.

But damn, it hurts to think about this in detail.

[bunnieswithknives]

Thanks.

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[vlkraft]

[satoru-nintendo]

I’m not addressing gojos letters because I don’t want to think about the fact that he sat down and KNEW he wasn’t gonna make it out but had full faith in those kids, I don’t want to think about him knowing that Megumi would have to live forever with the knowledge that Sakuna used him to kill Gojo and he purposely wrote a cute silly message (sowwy with a lil drawing of him) hoping (and succeeding) to make Megumi laugh especially after all he went through, how he sought out Nobara’s family cause he is estranged from his and he wants a better life for those kids than the life he had. And not to circle back to the whole killing all the elders of jujitsu society cause he wanted to protect the kids he is just sooo fundamentally good Ok DAMN I AM CRYING THINKING ABOUT IT

[hipstergecko]

SO I had an idea of a potential heart to heart between Vlad and Jack.

This has been bouncing around my head for a year now but I GOT IT OUT I'M FREE.

BONUS:

[royalarchivist]

During Wilbur's stream today, Tallulah was killed by a mob, and before he could revive her, Wilbur was also killed.

He was able to respawn and revive her BARELY in the nick of time (so she lost no lives), but I need you all to see Roier's POV of the event because the second he saw Tallulah go down (and then Wilbur go down right after, meaning there was no one there to revive Tallulah), he sprinted across the map as fast as he could to get there in time to save her.

[quotidianish]

Mom-mercs! Ma, mama, maw, and mum.

[not-so-superheroine]

[winged-thinged]

Life gets so much lighter when you are just allowed to exist. When there's no god in your head listening in on everything you think. When the trees outside are not a sign of anybody's presence, but just beautiful. I think the world, fundamentally, belongs to itself. And we are a part of it. That's all.

[housecow]

i always wonder what it’ll take for how fat i am to get acknowledged. the only time ive ever had it publicly or privately called out (besides in kink situations) was in 9th grade. i didn’t go to anime club because im not into anime (im still not) even though i told this dude i would be there lol.

he was pissed at me the next day and just mouthed the words “you’re fat” in the hallway like that would mean anything… i’ve never rlly been insulted for my weight or had it poked fun at. is it weird i want to get big enough for that to happen??

[thelaurenshippen]

the onion bought infowars. I repeat, the onion bought infowars

[knight-of-aether]

Been on a bit of a creative streak recently, and wanted to draw something wholesome, so here's my design for Malon and the Hero of Time's kid, years after the events of Linked Universe. The concept was originally for their biological daughter (Twilight's great-grandma), but feel free to interpret them however you like - bio kid or adopted, girl or boy, or anything else, what matters is just that they're family.

[pumpkinrootbeer]

i feel like we kinda miss the whole. catalyst for fiona and lips relationship exploding.

here's your older sister, and here's the only person you've ever been able to trust. she tells you to get out again and again and again, even though you're so afraid that the moment you turn around everything is going to fall apart. getting out, and then getting the rest of them out, is your job. that's what your supposed to do.

neither of you have been able to trust your parents and all you have is each other, and she's telling you to get out. and it's either doom everyone around you by staying, or trust her and leave.

and then, right as you're finally starting to find the rhythm of a world you've beed denied access to your whole life, it's because of her, the only person you've ever been able to trust in you entire existence, because of you leaving and trusting, that your five year old brother almost dies. he's comatose. he's covered in tubes. he might never be the same again. the only person you've ever trusted has done the exact same thing your parents did. Put drugs and alcohol and letting loose above the kids their supposed to take care of.

Is it any wonder Lip stops trusting her. That Lip takes the longest to forgive her. "it wasn't her coke she didn't leave it out" she got high around a toddler and left him near the cocaine. left the cocaine where he could get it. the two other adults picked him up and danced with him with coke on the table. Lip walks in on this after spending an entire day trying to rescue their other brother. His little sister is the one who finds their baby brother.

even discounting that in response to this he has to suddenly start stealing food or else all the kids in the house will starve, or that Fiona suddenly jackrabbits into another person he has to care for instead of someone he can trust, or that he now has to care for a 4 year old, while working a job, and being a full time college student on work study, discounting all of that of course Lip looses faith in his sister. Of course he does.

[ozzo-the-wozzo]

Trying to explain Adrien’s subplot in miraculous to anyone but it’s literally just this:

[shoku-and-awe]

Yaaaaaay I get to take my parents for my favorite gyoza tomorrow! Now the only struggle is not to over-hype it

[alfazoings]

little doodles i drew after listening to the new ep to keep myself from biting into cement and then flopping around the floor like a fish