#my morning sickness is getting worse
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:/
#ra speaks#personal#vomit mention#my morning sickness is getting worse#or maybe it’s just cause I got motion sick a week or so ago#and both times I took the nausea meds that USED to do the trick every time but literally hasn’t helped at all these last two times#and I haven’t thrown up in months so these are basically back to back for me#aughhhh I hate getting sick#mostly bc IM HUNGRY AND I WANT TO EAT PLS PLS JUST LET ME KEEP SOMETHING DOWN#but my stomach just says lol. lmao even.#I’m not even on my fucking period or anything what the fuck body#*strangling my GP* I’m gonna fucking kill you if you don’t take my request for different pain meds/nausea meds seriously#I swear taking NSAIDs almost every day for the last 4-6 years is probably destroying ny stomach#and he’s even like yikes you’re not supposed to be taking those for so long. anyways-#like bro I’m on my hands and knees fucking begging st this point pls you know I struggle to keep weight on w my metabolism as it is#the LAST thing I need is to eat less
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worm and salmon woodburning :))) 🪱
eerrrm .. finally woodburning this piece... that i had sitting in my closet for 2 years... also uhhhmmm *dies* i almost died when i didnt take my meds for the last 3 days never fucking do that it was HORRIBLE but im glad to be back on them things feel better
#eerrmm well tbh i do feel like my depression has been getting worse :(#i honestly didnt take them on purpose so i could spiral and hopefully go through with some plans#but i ended up just feeling really really physically sick this morning#so i gave up#i have not told anyone this but i will be telling my doctor and therapist bc i really do feel worse#doing all my coping skills tho! and handling ppl interactions alot better#artists on tumblr#art#my art#oc#oc art#artist on tumblr#salmon#salmon art#salmons#sockeye#fish#fish art#mixed media#traditional art#traditional drawing#furry#furry artist#furry art#monster oc#original character#artist#my oc#animal#animal art
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★ 028 // “Sick”
#jjba#jojo's bizarre adventure#steel ball run#sbr#gyjo#johnny joestar#gyro zeppeli#shrineofferings#tools used:#clip studio paint#I woke up today feeling way worse so I decided to vent it out on Johnny today. Sorry buddy!!!#My boyfriend and I were looking at gyjo fanart the other morning and there was one piece where Johnny was taking care of a sick Gyro#and then literally that same day he got sick. And I was taking care of him and he was like “Wow. You're just like Johnny in that one pic.”#But then he flew back home. Then I got sick!! And now I don't get the inverse situation where Dr. Zeppeli takes care of me. Cruel world.#At least I can draw it out to COPE
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having such an absolute shit time which is horrible because I had put so much effort into making this week bareable only to be fuckin stranded in the worst place I could be rn because my health was so bad I couldn't leave i feel so fucking bad and helpless and fated to having to suffer over and over and over
#was supposed to stop here to just grab one thing I needed!!! but have been so ill (chronic health bs) that I haven't been able to leave#for two days now and it is ruining me right now im like. in a really fucking bad place in every way jesus christ#stuck w someone who abused me for 20 years (not my ex lol she was shitty af but not abusive)#and shocker he is still gross and doesn't take no for an answer to anything and keeps touching me & not leaving me alone & I couldn't leave#I wouldn't wish this on anybody it absolutely breaks you to be stuck like this because your body doesn't work. I should have gone to the ER#So scared my health is getting worse in really dangerous ways. Could have died the other morning#like what the fuck!! what am I supposed to do I have been trying my best my whole life and it still amounts to being homeless and so sick#and so powerless to change either of those#all I want is a warm safe place to call home. It feels like I can never have that without a knife at my back#delete later#woof woof#vent
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I literally have so much paranoia and anxiety today I physically cannot catch my breath 😣
#personal vent#i woke up this morning to paranoid hallucinations and my anxiety is only getting worse by the hour#i am physically shaking#i feel so sick
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currently experiencing the horrid condition that is Sick but Not Quite Sick Enough To Call Out Of Work
#I expected it to be way worse this morning but I kinda just feel the same as I did yesterday#so I’m still in that weird liminal space#I think I would’ve called out if I couldn’t acquire cough drops before work but I can manage that so#also yeah I know I could call out anyway they can’t really stop me but#……………money#im not sick enough to justify to myself not getting paid#kibumblabs#sigh#I could’ve used the extra day off because im absurdly behind already in school work but. alas#like really it feels like BARELY bad enough to call it Sick. if my tonsils weren’t swollen I’d probably make it out to being#sinuses/air pressure/whatever cause of the Atmospheric River that just started going through norcal out of nowhere#no doubt whatever’s wrong with me was kicked off by that either way
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got the role i auditioned for YIPPEE
#not exactly the role i wish i had auditioned for but i was running on v limited prep time (mostly my own fault but also the getting sick on#weekend of auditions didn’t help) so decided to just play to my strengths. for the best it seems#(they let me do the email audition btw so that makes this even more of a pleasant surprise bc it was literally just me going over the side#that i chose which was painful lol)#<- literally just me going over the side as in i was the only speaking just those lines for a multi-person scene. not as in the audition#consisted only of the side#personal#the music chronicles#speaking of being sick i still feel awful… i havnt thrown up today but tbh i think ive gotten worse since how i felt this morning like if i#threw up before going to bed i would not be at all surprised#or before going to sleep i should say. bc i have been bedridden all day
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Feeling
Sick-er
#i feel sick#been like two months#gone to er#gastro and ent#plus urgent care#going to give urgen care another try#if nothing maybe another visit to hospital#cross fingers they find out what i got#got worse despite meds#wants to melt into a puddle#moms coming in as vocal support#im so tired#going on reddit to search up what the hecks wrong with me#last time was sick for months and found out the type of infection i got through reddit and google 🙃 😭 🫠🥲#doctors are good but its so hard to find ones that care#crossing my fingers#rant post#rambles#wants to get better#should be sleeping#but had to do some chores and now i can't#either its a messy gut or infection#still got more stuff to do but doing bit by bit#brain is mush#my insides burn#reddit knows so much like doctors just want you to be gone in 5-10 minutes and leave you wanting more#was able to get some insight with recent doctor but again not much went online i discovered that i may have a blood issue#moomin seems like a lovely show should see it one day#after doing outside stuff tomorrow going to put it on and hopefully sleep to it#i want to hard pass out kind of sleep and feel better in the morning rest
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i HATE being sick omg😤
#and now that i feel a little better than yesterday and in the morning it feels like cheating ://#like girl. obviously you feel better after sitting in bed instead of going to work that's how it's supposed to be alsjdhsjjdjdnd#and something even worse than me being sick is my dad bein sick at the same time ;-;#i hate it here#can't even get sick in peace aldjhfsjsjjs#iykyk#anyway fingers crossed i get better til wednesday bc we wanted to meet with friends for Something Very Important !!#so hopefully i'm all well by then!!!#agnes talking
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im having a bad stressful week. i would fucking destroy a bag of cheddar & sour cream ruffles right now
#its actually the only thing that could fix me#personal#i had a fraudulent charge made on my credit card so i had to cancel it#my medical insurance is lapsed and i dont know WHY so i cant use it and no one will return my phone calls#i still have three teeth i need fixed and i cant afford it out of pocket so i need said insurance. lol#and my mom has been sick for a while now but shes getting progressively worse and wont let us help#so i was GOING to go pick my sibling up this weekend and bring them to mom's with me so we could have a conversation about like. getting-#-her more help but i asked mom if we could visit this weekend thru text on monday morning and she still hasnt opened or replied to me#which like. could mean nothing#but also lol what if something happened and no ones told me yet! what if she fell and hit her head again. who fucking knows#also ive been working 6-7 days a week lately <3 hell on earth#anyways blah blah will probably delete im just so. burnt. the kind where youre in the kitchen making coffee and then suddenly youre sobbing
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#sometimes i find the degree to which i cannot concentrate very alarming#like bro i canno read. i have so much to do but i wanna sleep forever#i just have to get up and go somewhere else. normally id go transfer algae or run but im stuck inside and .y fingers r all cold#usually its just in the morning that I get thr high distress so its prob the meds#but yesterday was kinda fucked. ugh.i just need to run around but i cant#i have such a sinister combo of: brain stops me from being able to b productive and if im not productive i am compelled to do horrible#things. mood issues and 0cd is horrible. horrible feedback loop#i just wish i could breathe. itll b fine. eventually itll b summer again and itll b fine#its like someone's squeezing my throat. like im sick but i kno its just that im anxious#i was doing so well the past few days in terms of reading and productivity despite the distress#and im trying to b kind and roll with the punches but its so hard#like i kno i need to relax and not resist bc resistance makes it worse but it's just hard and im worried this is how itll always b#i wish i could go back on lamicta1. i felt way better on low dose of that then i do on low dose of abi1ify. its so hard to stay on this#just bc of how my head works. and like things were complicated with the lamicta1. maybe i wouldnt habe had a reaction if i didnt get a#tatto0 while upping the dose but now im marked as allergic so i prob wont b allowed to try any of thr anti convulsive type antidepressants#ugh. i hate this. its so frustrating#unrelated
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#I had a negative Covid test this morning but I’m getting a lot worse :/#I think it might be bronchitis#my chest is so sore from all the coughing and I feel like I can’t breathe#it’s hard to tell when it started cause I cough a lot normally from the long covid#but my chest normally doesn’t feel this painful and tight#debating if the walk in is worth it or if it’ll be a waste of money#it seems like half the time they don’t want to treat you unless you’ve been sick for at least two weeks#I dont want to have to pay the copay twice if they just tell me to come back if im not better in a few days
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getting critically close to collapsing into tears about my (terminally I guess) ill cat. he'll barely eat, barely drink. he's meowing bc he's hungry and thirsty and yet we have three different water sources for him and I'm at the point where I'm smearing pureed chicken with his favorite treat on it on his mouth to try to get him to lick it up and he just doesn't want anything to do with it.
meanwhile, I'm doing better than ever at a job I never thought I'd be lucky enough to have, and every day there is a new incredible achievement. and I just feel like the higher the highs get there, the lower the lows are getting at home. and I don't know how to hold all this indefinitely without breaking the fuck down. like it's just a matter of time before I run out of runway and I'm freefalling off the cliff into depths unknown and I'm fucking scared
#tw pet illness#how many nights can i cry myself to sleep before I'm just absolutely losing it#i have to be strong for Stephanie bc this is way worse for her#i have to not cry bc I'll make myself sick and I can't afford to miss days at work#but i can't hold it back when it's past when i need to be asleep in order to get enough sleep before work in the morning#and then the next day I'm just#sleep deprived and hollow#and i go to work and work is so good#and i spend the whole time worrying about my cat#and pushing that down#i just want him to be okay#and i know he isn't gonna be okay#and it's fucking awful
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actually fuck this job forever 👍
#i got so fucking stressed yesterday that i caused a fucking flare up and now i cant stop throwing up#i called off and . idk. i have to go in to the office today to get paperwork.#im gonna very firmly talk to them about changing my schedule#i hate to do that after literally only one day#but i have several excuses prepared#and hopefully i can just get my scedule changed.#i think . worst case. well worse case they just go damn you suck . leave. and then im just Fucked again for money#cause i never even got enough to pay my shit this monthso i had to borrow some money from my parents#but maybe i can just. drop my first shift. which will leave me with only 10 hours a week#but if they really only have morning shifts erm. this may not work out#i havent gotten morning sickness in a long time but its a known symptom of one of my chronic illnesses#plus the stress obviously bc my first client is very disabled and needs more accomodation than i can provide bc im also disabled#idk guys. its only been one day but this For Real isnt working out how it is rn.#i was reading back over my employee handbook tho and it says employees can quit any time#in the first 60 days wirhout penalty so im hoping that means i can also change shifts without penalty...
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Anytime I want to do anything the world has to remind me that I’m ill
#thunderposting i guess#I’m so mad because I got sick this morning and it ruined my day#I guess context is I have bad digestive issues and I get nauseous and in pain to the point I have to purge#and this happens usually every 2 months but I’m starting to think that I finally have proof of being lactose intolerant#yes I’m also in pain most days of the week and it’s like a subtle reminder that my digestive tract is fucked up#sometimes the pain gets worse which is when I get sick
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My belly should stop hurting I’m literally so cute why is this happening 🥺
#i mean okay maybe its happening cuz i have a horrible diet but liiiike#why is this happening 🥺#my mom had like strep and was all gross and ive been coughing worse than usual today so i hope im not getting sick#and im like nauseous and wanna gag grrrrr if i throw up in the morning im gonna be so mad#i havent slept great this week and when i dont get proper sleep it makes my stomach act up so maybe its just that but well#id sure like it if i could sleep good#kinda just thinking about a lot of stuff i guess and cant turn it off#had some craaaazy ass dreams last night
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