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javierpena-inatacvest · 2 days ago
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Chapter 5- Miles Between Us
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Summary: Frankie's decision to join the Army was the catalyst in the collapse of your friendship. When he's forced to reconcile with his past, packed away in boxes in his childhood basement, he finds pieces of you in everything he's left behind.
Word Count: 5.0K
Pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader (reader has a name/nickname)
Warnings: Angst, lying, guilt, military deployment, FEELINGS, Frankie's mom not putting up with his shit
A/N: IT'S TIME TO PEEL BACK ANOTHER LAYER OF THE ONION, BABY!!! I hope you guys don't hate me that this is a slow burn- I know this is not how I normally write at all, but it's been really fun to build this story up bit by bit (if you hate it though, please tell me lmao 💀) I'm excited for this chapter and how it hints at next chapter (we're finally getting to some smut y'all, omg) Thank you as always for your kind words, it makes my day to hear what you have to say about these two 🥺💛
All The Things We Never Said Masterlist
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You, Age 17, Spring of 2006
“You’re late, Morales.” 
“Can’t be late to something we don’t have a set time for, Anderson.” 
It’s true, you and Frankie have never set an official schedule for your afterschool ritual, but it never seems to fail that at 3:45, only 10 minutes after you’ve gotten home from soccer practice,  he’s at the foot of your bed with his forest green Jansport backpack, ready to complain about the homework he doesn’t want to finish and the tests he has no interest in studying for, just so he can keep you company while you stress yourself to death about the same assignments. 
And for as much as he hated school work, Frankie was never late. Never. So to watch him mope into your bedroom an hour later than his usual arrival time, it almost would have been safer to assume he was dead than anything else. 
“What took you so long? Get lost on the way here?” You joke, trying to keep it light while still prodding for an answer about his absence as you write down the answer to the math equation you’re trying to solve. 
“No. Don’t worry about it.” 
There’s been very few occasions you’ve seen Frankie so stoic. Even on his worst days, he’s at least still got a little tolerance left in him for your stupid banter. It’s enough to draw your attention completely away from your homework and onto him. 
“What’s wrong? Why are you being so weird?” 
You can tell then that something’s clearly not right, the way he’s angrily yanking loose papers and textbooks from his backpack and nearly slamming them onto the edge of your bed, making you gnaw anxiously at the end of your pencil you’d been using. 
You’re too nosy for your own good to let up until you find what you’re looking for. 
“Nothing’s wrong.” 
“Well obviously something’s wrong.” 
“What? I’m not allowed to be late, ever?” 
“No? Frankie, I just asked where you were and you’re acting like I’m asking you if you just shot the fucking president or something. What’s going on?” 
“It’s nothing, MacKenzie!”
“If it’s nothing, then why are you so upset about it?” 
“I’m not upset!” 
“You clearly are? Frankie, what the hell are you-” 
“I’m joining the Army, okay?!”
Out of all the things you could have expected to come out of Frankie’s mouth, that would have been at the bottom of your list. In fact, it’s so out of left field, you’re not even quite sure you believe him. 
Your forehead hurts from how tightly your brows are knitted together in confusion, scowling at Frankie with a dumbfounded intensity that probably had you looking like you had just gotten an unsuspecting whiff of the world’s most sour lemon. 
There’s no way he’s being serious. He can’t be. 
“Ha ha, very funny, Francisco.” You mock, frown still splayed across your face, “Now will you please tell me what’s actually going on?” 
His silence makes your heart drop into the pit of your stomach. You can feel the way your face falls, the muscles once tensed in adamant skepticism now sinking into a quiet panic. You can hear each breath as it flows in through your nose and out through your mouth, blood pounding louder and louder in your ears with each pulse of your veins. 
“Frankie, if this is one of your stupid jokes, it’s not funny.” 
“It’s not a joke.” 
His eyes are still peeled to the floor, too afraid to bring himself to look at you. All he can do is stare at his pinky toe, poking out of the hole in his socks that he refuses to replace. You wait for what feels like hours, days, for him to say something, but his silence is deafening. And the sound of Frankie’s silence is the scariest thing you’ve heard in a very long time. 
It’s so terrifying, the only thing you can do to cope is fill the quiet void with your rambling and pray that Frankie Morales is choosing to play the world’s worst joke on you. 
“What- what do you mean? Frankie, I thought- When you and Santi talked about doing the same thing as Will- I thought you were fucking kidding? What about college? We already both got accepted to Florida State, what are you gonna do-” 
“I didn’t get in.” 
Please let him be kidding. Please, please, let this be a sick joke. 
You can feel your confusion starting to bubble into anger, jaw clenching at the way Frankie’s too coward to even look in your general direction, gaze still glued to that stupid fucking hole in his worn down sock. 
“Frankie, what the fuck? We both got accepted back in January? You’ve been lying to me this whole fucking time?” 
“I didn’t wanna lie, okay?!” 
He’s riddled with enough guilt to speak up, trying to keep himself from the brink of tears as he works up enough courage to finally look you in the face. You can hear how hard he gulps, like his heart is bobbing in his throat, trying to buy all the time he can to come up with a reason for his deception that won’t hurt you any more than he already has. 
“I just- fuck,” he sighs, chewing at his bottom and bouncing his leg against the bed so intensely it’ll make him sore the next day, “I didn’t know what to do, Kenz. I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.” 
It’s hard to stay mad at him when you know he means it. It’d be easier if it weren’t for the way his brown eyes flooded with disappointment in himself, spilling out in tears onto his cheeks. For as frustrated as you are, you have enough sympathy to ease up on him enough to at least try to understand. 
“Well, not lying to me about it for the last four months probably would have been a good start.” You huff, the air that puffs from your nostrils still tainted with the let down you’re trying so hard to not let override your conversation. 
You can’t help but let yourself find a spot next to him on the edge of your bed, a peace offering that you hope is enough to signal to him you’re willing to listen to what he has to say. 
“I- I didn’t think you were being serious when you and Santi were talking about it. I- I thought you- I thought the plan was to go to Florida State. Together. What happened, Frankie?” 
It’s quiet for a few more moments. Frankie takes a few, slow deep breaths as he runs his hands through the curls twisting at the nape of his neck. The silence isn’t as bitter as before, but it stings enough to gnaw at the edges of your nails, the anxious habit you can’t seem to break, and certainly have no intention of giving up right now.  
“Stop chewing at your nails, Kenz. You’re gonna be pissed at yourself later.” Frankie sighs, gently grabbing your wrist to pull your hand away from your mouth, trying to fulfill his duty of being the one to stop you from ripping your nail beds to shreds. 
“You’re kinda making it hard not to.” You try your best to attempt a laugh. It’s the only way to keep yourself from crying. “So are you gonna tell me what’s going on or what?” 
“Y-yeah.” Frankie re-adjusts himself on the edge of the bed, twisting the fabric of your comforter between his fingers, trying to ground himself in the reality of the truth he’s forced to tell you, “I- I didn’t get into Florida State. I told you I did because I didn’t know what I was gonna do. You were just so excited when you thought we both got in and I- I panicked and I lied. I didn’t even think I was gonna get in anyways. I didn’t think I was gonna get in anywhere. Even if I did, I don’t know if I even could have afforded it. It’s just me and my mom and neither of us-”
“It’s not too late. I can help you look for scholarships. To help you with tuition. I’m sure that there’s a bunch out there that you could apply for. I’ll even write your essays and stuff for you if you want me to-” 
“I’m pretty sure you can’t do that, Kenz. Plus, you hate cheaters.” 
Frankie tries to reciprocate the same half-assed laugh you gave him. He looks over at you, the small smile he’s forcing to keep between his lips quickly fading as he sees the way you’re pleading with him to realize that you would forge a thousand essays in his name if it meant he wasn’t going to leave you. He’d be a cheater you’d gladly forgive. 
“It’s not even just the money. I just- I- I don’t even like school, Kenzie. I suck at it. If school is already hard now, how much harder is it gonna be when I get to college? To study for a job that I’m probably not even gonna want when I graduate? At least with the Army I can have a job and benefits and hopefully make enough money to help my mom so she’s not working at the hospital 6 days a week. MacKenzie, the only reason I applied to Florida State was because of you. I thought that maybe there would be some miracle I got in and I could figure out how to pay for it and I could magically get smarter and better at school so we could spend the next four years together. I wanted it to happen. I wanted it to happen so bad. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I lied to you. I just- fuck- I just didn’t know how to tell you.” 
Neither of you are quite sure what to say next. That quiet comes back to fill the space between you, allowing enough room for the silent sobs you’re both trying your best to hold in, small sniffles still escaping from each of you. You’re not sure if your brain has fully processed what he’s had to say. The only thing you can understand is the swirling of sadness and confusion in your gut and the pounding ache in your chest. 
You take a scooch closer to him, the outsides of your thighs barely brushing together as you tilt your head to rest against his shoulder. It’s heavy, the weight you can’t help but lean against him, but the arm he wraps behind your back and around your waist tells you that he’ll gladly take it. He’ll take it all, if he has to. 
“Did you already sign a contract to go?” The whisper of your words is so soft, like you’re hoping he can’t hear you. If he can’t hear you, then he doesn’t have to tell you the answer you don’t want to hear. 
“Yeah. Me and Santi did a few weeks ago.” His voice is almost quieter than yours, convinced he has the same idea as you. 
His truth stings worse than the lie he’s been masquerading behind the past four months. You want to scream at him- To curse him with shouts and sobs, question how he could make this choice for himself and leave you in the dark until it’s too late for you to change his mind. You know it’s selfish, the way you want him to stay, the way you would have fought with every bone in your body to keep him from leaving. You know it’s the reason Frankie couldn’t tell you. 
It’s the same reason why Frankie couldn’t bring himself to tell you that if he had given you that chance, he probably would have stayed. 
“Do um- do you know when you have to leave?” 
It hurts to hear the words come out of your mouth. It’s an admittance of defeat. Because once you ask that question, there’s nothing you can do or say that will make him stay. No fighting, no begging, no pleading. You have to accept he’s leaving. 
“Not ‘til the end of the summer.” 
“Where?” 
The more you ask, the more it makes you want to keel over the edge of the bed and vomit, the reality of it all setting in at an alarming pace. 
“Missouri for basic training. I don’t know where after.” 
He doesn’t have to say where. You both know. Even if he doesn’t know the exact longitude and latitude of where the Army will deploy him, there’s nowhere else they’re sending him besides Iraq or Afghanistan or whatever godforsaken, war ridden country in the Middle East he’ll be forced to put his life on the line for. 
And for how much the reality of Frankie leaving scares you, when you’re hit with the reality that Frankie may leave and never come back, you’re absolutely terrified. 
“I don’t want you to go, Frankie.” 
You can’t beg him to stay. There’s no amount of bargaining you can do with him or the powers that be to change what’s been done. All you can do is tell him your truth as you sob into his chest while he holds you. Maybe if you’re not enough to make him stay, you’re at least enough to make him want to come home. 
You’re not sure how long he holds you while you cry. Maybe it’s minutes, maybe it’s hours. However long it is, all the moments you have left with Frankie feel that much more precious. You won’t let any of them slip through your fingers. 
“You promise you’ll come home, right?” 
“I promise, MacKenzie. I promise.” 
If there’s one thing you’ve learned about Francisco Morales, it’s that he’ll never break a promise. You just hope the universe is kind enough to let him keep this one, too. 
“I promise that we’ll have a really fun summer together before I leave too, okay? Whatever you wanna do, Kenz, I’ll do it.” 
“Anything?” 
It’s enough to peek your head out from the crook of his neck, trying your best to wipe away your tears with your sleeve, like you hadn’t just stained the better part of Frankie’s sweatshirt with the same wetness. 
“Anything.” 
“Alright, well, I guess we’re gonna go to Dairy Queen and get an extra large blizzard every day until you’re too fat for the Army to want you anymore.” 
The two of you giggle, a quiet symphony of soft snorts and sobs at the idea of rolling an ice cream filled Frankie off to boot camp. It makes him laugh even harder that he wouldn’t put it past you if you really did try. Perhaps it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if you did. 
“Whatever you want, MacKenzie. I’m all yours.” 
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Frankie, Present 
Frankie’s convinced he might as well start training for a marathon at this point. 
He’s not really sure how else to spend his time. It’s hard to keep himself occupied when all he can do at home is sit around and wait for your dad to die or stare out the window like a creep to watch your comings and goings. 
At least if he’s running, he can’t think about you. 
Well, he can’t think about you as much. 
It’s been a day and a half since he decided to follow you on your run. He’s already pushed his luck enough that you didn’t damn near kill him for it, let alone that you even gave him a chance to talk to him. 
He let you take the first  shift on the morning yesterday, despite the fact he’d been awake well before the sun rose. The irony wasn’t lost on him at the way he watched you through his bedroom window the same way he did most Saturday and Sunday mornings for the first few years of your friendship. You’d be up at the same ungodly hour as him, except you’d be pacing up and down your driveway, stretching and lunging across its length as you clicked around on the iPod wrapped around your forearm, searching for whatever song would pump you up for your run. 
It wasn’t until you had finally noticed Frankie peering out his bedroom window every weekend that you began to drag him along on your runs with you. 
“If you’re awake too, you might as well come running with me, Morales. It’ll be fun!” 
“Fine. I gotta warn you though, Kenz, I am actually pretty fast.” 
“You barely run the mile in gym class.” 
“Savin’ up all my energy for when I need it most, Anderson.” 
There was once a time where you would have to beg Frankie to come with you on a run. Now, he’d give anything for you to tolerate his existence ten feet behind you. 
But he’ll sacrifice another run alone through all too familiar roads of his childhood subdivision if it helps him kill time and keeps you from hating him anymore than you rightfully deserve to. 
Yesterday, he went on two runs to pass the time. Hell, today, he’d consider adding a third run to his underwhelming schedule just to keep himself busy. Fortunately, (or unfortunately, he can’t tell yet) for him, Maria Morales has other plans. 
And when Maria Morales has plans, it’s in Frankie’s best interest to drop anything else he had in mind for the day. 
Even when it means he’s got a hot date with his basement and a mountain full of boxes in his basement. 
“Okay, anything in this pile to the left is for you to go through.” His mom grunts, lifting up one last box to add to the heap labeled “Francisco’s things” in her perfectly curved cursive, “If you want to take it home, find an empty box to put it in, but not my new clear, plastic bins, entiendes (understand)? Those were expensive.” 
“No clear plastic bins, got it.” Frankie chuckles, following the exaggerated step his mother takes over his scattered belongings. 
“If you see something and you don’t want it now but you want me to keep it for later, you can put it over on the shelf by the stairs. If you think it’s basura (trash), leave it over here and let me look at it first before you throw it away.” 
“Comprendido (got it).” Frankie nods, sizing up the stack his mom has set out for him, “Jesus ma, this is gonna take me all morning to go through.” 
“If you were home more, there would be less things to go through now.” 
“Yeah, well, you got me there.” Frankie grumbles under his breath, grimacing at the harsh reality of his mom’s words. He knows isn’t meant completely out of malice, but he can’t deny it’s certainly got some truth to it as well.  
“Okay, well I need to go run some errands, and I want this pile sorted by the end of the day, so standing here and moping certainly isn’t going to help that. Get to work, mijo (son).” 
His mom will never be one to throw a pity party for anyone, and most definitely won’t be throwing one for her son, based on his own, self-inflicted problem. Frankie helps her step over another makeshift pile scattered for sorting across the basement floor, giving him a quick pat on the back before disappearing upstairs, leaving him to quite literally unpack his past. 
“Fuck. Okay.” He sighs to himself, gently kicking one of the edges of flimsy cardboard at the bottom of the tower, trying to formulate his best plan of attack to make his sorting as painless as possible. 
He’s thankful that his brain has always worked in a way that allows him to analyze things so quickly, doing some quiet calculations in his head as to the most effective and efficient way to sort through god knows what may be hidden in the pile his mom has created for him. 
He runs his hand through the still messy curls of his morning bed head before selecting what feels like the lightest boxes and moving them off to the side, opening up a cardboard container from the next layer. 
Besides the trophies still in his room, every prize he’d ever won for every sport he’d ever played sits in the box below him. Frankie chuckles to himself, picking up some from the top to examine them, thumb gliding over the fake gold plating to read plaques like “Florida Junior Divisional Freestyle Swimming Finalist- 2005” or “Regional Championship Winners- Florida Firebirds 2007” glued to poorly sculpted plastic statues of swimmers. A few more medals and certificates had sunk to the bottom of the box, Frankie quickly grazing through its contents before rehoming it to the “trash” pile, unsure of when he would ever need proof he won several swimming competitions in high school. 
The next few boxes were more of the same- His varsity jacket, old t-shirts he wouldn’t stand a chance fitting into, considering the gangly figure that stretched them more than a decade ago, some old books from high school he’d only kept because of how much you loved them and he promised you that one day, he’d read them, too. 
It’s the shoe box that catches his eye next, sure that no matter how much his mom loved to hoard, whatever was in there most definitely was not a raggedy, holy pair of Converse from high school. 
It’s not until he picks up the box that he knows exactly what’s inside. It’s one of the lightest things he’s picked up in the last hour, but when he knows the weight of its contents, his arms want to tremble. 
It’s with a long deep breath that he brings the shoebox over to an open patch of floor, letting out a grunt and cursing his knees as he sits down cross legged with the box in front of him. He gently flips open the lid, hand running over his face and down the back of his neck when his suspicions are confirmed. 
Open envelopes spill out over the edges of the worn cardboard, the box stuffed to the brim with every letter you’d ever written to him while he was away.
Even if he wanted to, he’s not sure he could ever physically bring himself to throw them out. Those letters have more miles on them than most people’s cars will ever reach in a lifetime, flimsy, stamped pieces of paper following him to every corner of the globe he’s traveled to. 
Some letters he’s read so much, they’re worn on the edges where he’s held the paper, smudging the pen that’s reached the sides of the pages. Others, he’s only read once. He’s not sure he could ever bring himself to read them again. But regardless of their contents, he’d made a promise to you they’d stay with him. 
“Better not get rid of those letters, Morales. Do you know how many hand cramps I’ve given myself trying to find the words to send halfway across the world to you? You better promise me you’ll keep ‘em.”  
His commitment to the folded pieces of paper ring in his ears as his fingers drag across the tops of the open envelopes. He can’t help the way his index finger and thumb pinch the paper below his grasp, carefully tugging a random letter out of its shoebox storage. 
It’s a gut wrenching gamble, the game he’s about to play, a roulette of making his heart ache from joy or pain depending on the one he chooses to pull. He’s already placed his bet as he pulls the lined piece of paper out of the envelope- He’s not getting the money he’s already placed on the table back, so he might as well pray he makes a return on his investment. 
With one more deep breath, he unfolds the tri-fold creases, ready to watch his bet play out before him. 
August 18th, 2006
Frankie, 
I hope I sent this letter to the right place! I looked on the website and it said to send mail to new recruits (that’s you, Morales), to this address, so no one better be holding my letter to you hostage. 
Anyways, how’s training so far? Did they make you shave your head yet? I hope not. I’m not sure why the Army insists on making you all look like Dr. Evil from Austin Powers. I’m sure you’ll still look cute even with short hair! I don’t think I can say the same for Santi, but you didn’t hear that from me… hehehe 
I just moved into my dorm yesterday! My roommate seems pretty nice. Her name is Jessica and she’s from Georgia. She claims that she’s neat and she better be, or I may lose my mind. I’ll send you pictures of my dorm once it’s all set up! It’s kind of a mess right now, but I made sure to put the picture of us from prom up on my desk :)
I don’t start class until next Tuesday. Hopefully I’ll meet some new people in my dorm or on the soccer team so I’m not a total loser with no friends. LOL. 
Have you met anyone new yet? I can’t wait to hear all about your new Army friends! I already started a countdown calendar until we can see each other again. Only 70 days until basic training is done and I can hear about everything in person! 
I miss you a lot. I know that’s dumb to say because it’s only been a week, but still. I wish I would have kissed you again before you got on the plane to leave. I promise I will when I see you. Nothing says perfect place to kiss like South Missouri, romance capital of the USA (haha). 
I know you’re gonna be busy, but write me back when you have time. The return address on the envelope is my dorm address, so use that, or risk Doug and Michelle reading your mail if you send it to my house!!! I can’t wait to hear from you. Miss you, weirdo. 
From, 
Kenz :) <3
His luck of the draw sends a wave of relief through him, smiling down at the curvy loops of your perfectly neat printing signed at the bottom of the page. It makes his heart skip a beat, the same kind of butterflies coming to life in his stomach as they did the first time he read it. He’s earned his money back and then some. He gets how casinos never go broke, because the high of good fortune is enough to have him reaching back into the box to put another gamble on the line. 
October 13th, 2009
Frankie, 
I always feel dumb sending multiple letters before I hear back from you, but you know me, I love to worry. I know you can’t tell me where you are right now (stupid military and their secrets for the safety of society lol) but I’ve been seeing stuff on the news and it makes me scared for you. I just hope wherever you are, you’re safe. 
My dad’s cancer is back. He’s been in the hospital for almost two weeks now. They found a new mass on his liver, but they said hopefully they can target it with radiation before it starts to spread. Cassandra at the front desk asked how you were when I was at the hospital yesterday. I said that you were good. I think she’s only asking because if you’re not there, there’s no one to keep me from burning a hole in the waiting room carpet. 
I wish you were here. I feel really lost right now. I just know if you were here, you’d find a way to make everything better. You always do. 
Sorry this letter isn’t longer. I haven’t been sleeping that great and don’t have enough brainpower to write something decent. Just wanted to let you know what’s going on.  
Counting down the days until you make good on your promise. I hope you come home soon, Frankie. 
Kenzie 
He curses himself for an unlucky draw, heart sinking at the tear stains smearing the blue ink of your trembling letters. An overwhelming wave of guilt washes over him, vivid memories of reading your notes in his bunk alone, wishing there was a way he could fly halfway around the world for a night just to hold you and tell you that everything was going to be okay. 
It’s the addictive itch in the back of his brain that makes him decide to pull one more letter from the box, taking one last gamble to see if he can prove the nagging pit in his stomach to quit while he’s ahead, wrong. 
February 4th, 2011
Hey, 
If you don’t want to write anymore, that’s fine. I was trying to be friendly, but clearly you don’t really care. Just let me know and I’ll stop bombarding you with mail you obviously don’t want. Or I guess you not responding is letting me know. If you want to send anything back you can send it to my parents house. I’m moving into Liam’s house and it’s only 20 minutes away so I can just drive there and pick it up. No need to send you a new address you probably aren’t going to write to, anyways. 
I guess I’ll see you when I see you. 
MacKenzie 
And that’s how Vegas will always stay in business. 
Because now Frankie is forced to walk away, all his money stolen from him at the stupid risk he’s decided to take. The one letter he’d give anything not to read again is the one he had to pull. 
Heat seethes in his chest- he can’t quite explain why. Because he lost at a rigged game he’d set up for himself? That he still hasn’t quite come to terms with the ugly truth of what he put the both of you through? That he wishes with everything in him, he could go back and change what he’s done? 
Or maybe, it’s because now might be the last chance he has to fix what he’s broken, and he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to live with himself if he can’t.
He leaves the pile in the basement unfinished, shoes barely tied to his feet before he bursts out the door in a sprint.
He's not sure where he's going. He's not even sure how long he's run for. All he knows is the pounding of his feet against the pavement, trying to outrun the stupid decisions of his past.
He tells himself if he runs fast enough, he'll beat them.
If he goes far enough, they'll be forgotten.
If he outraces them, you'll be there waiting for him at the finish line.
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n0vazsq · 1 day ago
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Romeo and Juliet | RC5 x Reader
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pairing . . . rafael camara x non!famous!reader
summary . . . When an iconic kiss happens after Rafael's championship win, fans dig deep to find out who the mystery girl is
request . . . kind of?
word count . . . N/A
warnings . . . none! just some badly translates portuguese bc i dont speak it...
faceclaim . . . random girls from pin // reader isn't fluent in portuguese so she doesn't speak it much but i'll put translations when she does
alexavia yaps . . . legit had this in my drafts for like a week ive been procrastinating this for AGES like idk why?? SO SORRY ITS SHORT </3 anyway i hope you guys like this bc its a bit rushed and kinda shitty like.... also theres gonna be some prema driver features so yeah!!
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yourusername
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liked by rafaccamara88, premaracing, jameswharton and 681 others
yourusername race one done!! can't wait for race two! my boy is going to win the championship <3 tão orgulhoso de você meu amor! te amo muito <3 (so proud of you my love! love you so much <3) tagged: rafaccamara88
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yourfriend1 congrats to rafa! Liked by yourusername
rafaccamara88 muito obrigada, princesa (thank you so much, princess)
yourusername so proud of you rafa!! you deserve it!
yourbsf GUYS MY HEART
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username the cutest couple Liked by yourusername
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rafaccamara88
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liked by yourusername, premaracing, yourbsf and 231k others
rafaccamara88 we did it! thank you so much for the prema team and my teammates! and to my amazing girlfriend, thank you for the support and encourgment. i wouldn't be here without you ❤ tagged: premaracing, jameswharton, ugougochukwu, yourusername
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username CONGRATS RAFA
username VAMOS BRASILIA!
username amazing race!
yourusername AWW OMG <33 ILYSM RAFA!! CONGRATS ON THE CHAMPIONSHIP!!
rafaccamara88 I LOVE YOU MORE
username GUYS DID YALL SEE Y/N AND RAFAS KISS I AM NOT OKAY
username THE KISS OMGGGGG
username THEM KISSING WAS SO ICONIC
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f1waggossip
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liked by motorsportwags, premaladies, frecagfs and 661k others
f1waggossip who was the girl behind rafael camara's iconic championship kiss? find out more about yourusername and who she is!
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username NOOO MOTHER Y/N IS BECOMING KNOWN TO THE PUBLIC
username we failed in our mission guys </3
yourusername didn't know i became famous, thanks ig?
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yourusername
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liked by rafaccamara88, premaracing, racerbia and 12.4k others
yourusername guess im famous now? dont worry ill NEVER forget my og followers <3
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username y/n saying she'll never forget the og fans 🥹 my heart can't take this
rafaccamara88 i'll love you even if you were the least famous person on this earth
yourusername RAFA HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU
yourbsf if you didn't tell him you told ME
racerbia Y/N WE NEED YOU IN THE ACADEMY RACES
yourusername I PROMISE IM TRYING TO ATTEND ALL OF THEM BUT THE FRECA SCHEDULE DOESNT LINE UP </3
jameswharton my best friend is becoming famous 😔
yourusername i'll never forget you jamie
username Y/N AND THE PREMA RACERS IM GONNA CRY
username HER CALLING JAMES 'jamie' I'M DEAD
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jameswharton
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liked by rafaccamara88, yourusername, racerbia and 98.1k others
jameswharton sappiest but cutest couple i know tagged: rafaccamara88, yourusername
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yourusername aren't we the only couple you know?
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rafaccamara88
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liked by yourusername, yourbsf, jameswharton and 184k others
rafaccamara88 minha linda menina. eu te amo mais do que tudo. tenho muita sorte de ter você na minha vida para me apoiar e me animar. te amo ❤ (my beautiful girl. i love you more than anything ever. i am so lucky to have you in my life to support me and cheer me on. love you) tagged: yourusername
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username my wife rafa back off
yourusername eu te amo mais do que tudo <33 (i love you more than anything)
rafaccamara88 <3
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rafaccamara88 me on a daily basis
yourusername YOU GUYS I LOVE YOU
jameswharton FINE ILL ADMIT IT
yourusername say it jamie
jameswharton ...you are aesthetic
yourusername WOOHOO!
username i need a rafa-y/n kind of love
username young love is beautiful
username modern day romeo and juliet
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piesafterdark · 6 hours ago
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Predictions for Arcane as a franchise + my thoughts! Season 2, Act 3 spoilers ahead.
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jayce, viktor, and jinx can't be dead. Let me tell you why.
no. 1, Arcane's been pretty explicit with deaths. Silco, Vi and Cait's moms, Benzo, the sergeant from season 1 act 1 etc etc we've all seen dead bodies, time pass without them coming back, or character arcs shifting to accommodate deaths (lsha's and Silco's death shaping Jinx). In season 2, Maddie's, Ambessa's, and random extra's deaths were all shown on screen. Therefore, if we don't see a body, the body's still moving.
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no. 2, while this is Arcane's last season, there's going to be more Runeterra shows. Of course we don't know what's going to happen over there, but I don't think Riot and Fortische are just going to throw Arcane's characters away unless they do. "the arcane is waking up" and all that jazz. Seems to me like the arcane isn't back to sleep, and who has experience with the arcane. Oh, right, all these cool guys. Leading to points 3 and 4.
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no. 3, Jayce's crystal, given to him by the mage (Viktor) in season 1, was used for teleportation, if I remember correctly. Rather than dying/getting sucked into the crystal, they've been teleported somewhere else and will be used to shift the focus onto that location. This fits. Moving to a completely different location would disrupt the glorious evolution. Plus we didn't see their bodies so.
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from arcanegifs
no. 4, Jinx my beloved. There was a line of shimmer leaving the explosion at the bottom of the pit, and the epilogue of Cait looking at the pit and seeing air ducts hints that Jinx/Powder escaped. I'm pretty sure the Zepplin shown at the end was to imply she left Piltover and Zaun, finally becoming her own person. Throughout the show, her identity was determined by her relationships (hair mirroring Silco's, smoke tattoos for Vi, mental illness from causing her brothers' deaths), and with hallucination Silco suggesting the best way to change the Cycle of Killing is leaving, that's what she chose to do. Additionally, her handwriting for the "the end" at the finale suggests that she was there to write it. She's alive guys trust me. Her change of scenery can be used to shift the focus to a different location.
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My personal Thoughts:
on no. 4, I would hate it if they decided to kill Jinx after she found herself. It's overused. Seeing Jinx/Powder finally become herself without Silco's, Zaun's, and her sister's baggage in a new place would be super interesting. As someone who doesn't play League, I've heard there's some blond character she's shipped with from a different country/city? Foreshadowing perhaps? Plus it'd be so in character for her to start a new series with a chaotic "I bet you're wondering what I did after I faked my death."
Cait and Vi will probably remain in Piltover/Zaun doing reform (the show's whole point). The reason why Vi didn't look super duper sad is probably because she's going through shock or because Cait reassured her that Jinx/Powder isn't dead (air ducts). Ekko's probably going to do reform w/ the power couple because that's his motivation.
The sex scene's context is a bit odd, but Jinx literally gave Vi permission to be with Cait so... ? When life gives you lemons, give your gf head i guess. Wish Cait did apology head though, she really hurt Vi... But then again, Vi probably wanted to get lost in the sauce and forget about everything around her, hence the "I don't fucking care" comment.
Jayce was right, Viktor was blinded. Love that they're in love.
It's so interesting to see Sevika going from backing revolutionaries (Silco and Vander) to becoming a revolutionary herself and actually getting a seat on the council!! She went from kingmaker to king.
Thought season 2 was kinda rushed? Idk wished we had hour long episodes just to flesh things out.... still a great season.
It's not over. With the success this show's been giving Netflix, there's at least twenty more on the horizon. God bless Riot and Fortische.
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going to go cry now.
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b-lossm · 15 hours ago
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•*+Jonny+*•
Cait x reader [Anget->fluff]
Synopsis: She always said you where above the girls she snuck into her room, then why wont she put a label on the two of you?
ooc Cait i think but like I didnt know how to finish this
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"God I'm loosing my mind" you mumble to yourself as you prime a canvas, for a date night that might not even happen. 'what's the point' you think while putting your stuff away, you planned a nice date night for you and Cait, but now your just questioning if she even loves you like you assume she does, I mean- actions do speak louder then words.. right?
When Caitlyn eventually arrives, coming in through your window because due to her status, nobody really knows about your 'relationship'- well your dog knows but he doesnt count.
"Hey Princess" she hugs and kisses you softly, hiding something behind her back "Hey Cait.." you say awkwardly, mind still dwelling on how she might not love you "Oh Princess? what's wrong?" she places your surprise down on your bed and hugs you comfortingly. Your lip starts to quiver "I-- I feel like m' crazy because" you hesitate, she rubs your back and traces shapes into your side "hey you can tell me anything you know me.." Cait leads you to her bed and continues to comfort you, whispering sweet nothings into your ear "Caitlyn do you really love me?" you whisper, nervous--obviously her breath hitches “P—please let me figure it out” you tear up and she lays with you on your bed “Princess why would you ask me that? Of course I love you” you look away from her “Then why don't I feel it?” she struggles to answer you "y/n you know its hard for m--" "yeah well its hard for me too Cait! You have to tell her!" you argue before she can even start on her spiel again "Caitlyn she probably will disapprove but she'd put up with it! She literally has all this time! She's walked in on us cuddling so many times Cait! It is so painfully obvious that you like girls! or at least me.." you quiet down after a little bit, breathing heavily out of frustration and sadness.
Cait stays silent, she knows your right, she knows that her mother will.. reluctantly love her still, but she just doesn't understand why she cant just tell her mom outright, she always just thought that her parents would get the hint and not bother her about it but she was scared, she knew they didn't care as long as she carried out the Kiramman bloodline but she was scared that they would force her to leave you--force you out of her life. She sighs "I know I do okay? Just because I haven't doesn't mean I don't love you--" "you love me..?" she sees even more tears welling up in your eyes moving to wipe them before they can even fall "why would I not?" you feel gentle kisses being pressed all over your face, as well as Cait mumbling 'perfect' over and over again
with a huff you pull away "Cait, who was it that said a white wall may seem empty" you take a breath and Cait plays with your hair "But its ready to be filler, and in its readiness needs nothing, it stands complete" you finish "hm.. whoever it was is right, just because something seems empty doesn't mean its not complete" you giggle at her cluelessness "It was you Cait.. you told me that strange poem but it makes me wonder, if your ready, ready to be happy with me" you look into her eyes, her pupils dilated as she stares back with love "I'm ready Princess,..." without hesitation you push your soft lips against hers, your strawberry chap stick mixing with her vanilla "tomorrow, I promise I'll do it tomorrow" she says a bit breathlessly as she lets go of the kiss "Pinky promise" you childishly stick your pinky finger to her and she intertwines the two and locks it in with your thumbs touching, she then kisses your hand "Pinky promise"
--
The very next day, Cait fulfilled her promise and snuck you into her house, she wanted you to officially meet her parents, as her girlfriend :)
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Guys i miss arcane :(
but omg the caitvi sesbian lex was so goooddd, expect 18+ hcs coming soon, theyre probably gonna come out before the change series ends tbh sorrry :(((
🐮 👦🏾soon.......
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grahstumhurts · 21 hours ago
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2. Putting it into gear
Cheerleader!Megan x Loser Band Member!Reader
A/N Not proof read lol so it might have some weird wording and shit.
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The late May air is starting to feel slightly humid and hot as it usually does by this time, Megan's waiting outside. Leaning on the side of the school fence looking effortlessly beautiful as she does.
“Hey” you greet her, “What did you need to talk about?” She looks up from her phone, then looks around behind you to see if people are watching.
“Look, I owe you an apology and-” 
“That's an understatement.” You cut her off. “Two years of ignoring me should get me something better than an apology”
“Just hear me out” 
She looks you in the eyes, Her pupils glistening with the caramelised apple colour it's always been.
“Please,” 
“Fine” You cross your arms in anticipation “You gonna tell me or what?”
“I need to fake date you, for friendship reasons I guess.” Obviously that stuns you, A girl you had a crush on for the past ten years of your life is suddenly asking you to fake date her. 
“What?” Your face contorts in a mix of surprise and confusion “Why me?”
“You're the only gay person I know, I’m trying to come out to them and they won't believe me till I date someone who fits their “Gay” vision” She sighs, her face portrays her obviously conflicted emotions. “Look its okay if you won't do it, You don't owe me anything especially since i abandoned you but at least sleep on it for me.”
She pauses, trying to read your face, noticing the slight differences in your eyes.
“I also needed to say sorry, I wasn't there when I promised I would be.” 
“I wont accept your apology for now, you need to earn my trust back, Megan.”
 You sigh at the dilemma, do you chose to help her with her fake dating thing, or do you leave her behind. 
“I’ll help you under one condition, We will stay friends afterwards.” 
You expect her to say no, the wavering tone in your voice saying so.
“Thank you so much, seriously I appreciate this. I owe you, N/n” She hugs you, Her scent lingering of fresh citrus and light berries. Her arms wrap around your waist, you instinctively wrap your arms around her shoulders.
“We need to figure out a plan for this whole situation.” You comment as you two break the hug, still feeling the lingering warmth of her. 
“Are you free this week to meet up?” 
“Tuesdays and Thursdays I meet up with my band, any other day we can meet up after school.”
“How about wednesday? I have practice, can you come watch and we can go somewhere after?” The thought of her friends seeing you makes your skin crawl as your reputation with these “Popular” people is not exactly great. Considering that you and Lara are the ones who stand up to Greg when he feels the need to degrade Yoonchae. You may or may not have gotten into some physical altercations with said Greg. 
“Sure, It’ll sell the idea that we are dating a bit more,” It’s a trade off that is worth it to make Megan happy. You shrug just as her phone rings, Her ringtone was not the same as the one you had remembered her to have. It had been her favourite song, Perfect Lover by Britney Spears. But now it's one of those default ones, Removing some of the personality from her.
“Yeah?"
"Oh, Okay."
"I’ll see you soon, Mom. Love you bye”
You can vaguely hear her moms voice throughout the quick phone call, her familiar tone isn't something you can forget easily. 
“You gotta go I assume?” you pick at your nails, “I can walk you home if you want?” You look up to her, trying to gauge her reaction through her body language. “Unless you dont want me to.. You know what forget i even said-”
“NO!” She suddenly cuts you off mid sentence “I mean, No” She clears her throat repeating her affirmation in a softer tone, “it’d be nice for my mom to see you again, She used to ask me about you all the time.” She presses her lips into a line, her face covered with embarrassment. 
“Lead the way,” You slightly smile at the thought that her mom still wondered where you had been all this time, She starts walking in the direction of her house. Making small talk to catch up on each others lives during the two years of absence, Your hands brushing together as you walk on the pavement.
“I missed you, you know that right?”
The smallness in her voice juxtaposes her usually large demeanour.
“I hoped you did,”
You chuckle slightly,
“I missed you too.”
“This is me,” she stops in front of the house you used to know, “You wanna stay for dinner? I mean you don't have to or anything.”
“Sure, It’ll be nice to say hi to your mom.” She leads you into her house, The recognisable scent of her moms cooking wafting into your nostrils. Filling your senses with memories of years prior. “Do we have to fake date in front of your mom aswell?” You tease her, Slipping off your shoes.
“Yeah, I guess so..” She replies nervously, just as her Mom wraps around the corner from the kitchen. “Hey, I brought home a special someone.” 
“Oh my gosh, YN! I didn't realise you were coming tonight for dinner.” She embraces you in a warm hug. “Feels like I haven't seen you in forever.” She lightly jabs at Megan with her elbow. 
“Just been busy with school work and college applications, you know how it is.” You lightly giggle at Megan’s mom’s actions. “Glad to see you Mrs. Skiendiel”
“Oh please, Yn. You know not to call me that, Just aunty is okay.” 
-
“Wow aunty, this is seriously delicious.” You moan as you wolf down the rice and pork on your plate. “I'm grateful that your cooking skills haven't deteriorated in the period I haven't seen you” You say in between bites.
“Im happy you like it, feel free to come over and eat when you want to, Honey” She chuckles
“Uhm Mom, We have something to talk about with you.” Megan’s words shift the energy at the table. You swallow your latest bite and glance at Megan, Giving her a reassuring look. 
“You guys are dating? I know, it's not that much of a shock.” Aunty takes the words out of Megan's mouth, “I've been patiently waiting when you two would realise your feelings for eachother. I have a standing bet with your mom, Yn.” She matter-a-factly comments,
“No funny business in my house alright?” 
“Yes aunty, I don't plan on doing anything with Megan till she's ready. Don't worry”
You try to clear the air quickly, Megan grabs your hand on the table. Interlocking her fingers with your ring clad ones, The slightly cold metal meeting her warm skin. The embarrassment of your words settling in with the two of you.
“I wouldn't dare hurt Megan, I hope you know that aunty.” You stupidly grin at her.
“I know, Yn. Just double checking, I know how you teenagers can be.” She lets out a deep sigh of relaxation. “I have some work to do. all I need you guys to do is the dishes, can you two handle that?” She squints her eyes at us, 
“Yeah, dont worry about it, Mom.” Megan stands and starts clearing the plates from the table, You follow her actions grabbing plates and silverware and bringing them to the sink in the kitchen. 
“I’ll be in the office working if you need me, Good night you two.” Megan’s Mom announces before the door closes.
“Oh my god i swear that was the most awkward i've been with your mom in forever.” You let out a deep sigh as you lean against the kitchen counter, Megan places down the rest of the dishes.
“Yeah no that was really awkward.” She giggles “Yes aunty i don't plan on doing anything with Megan till she's ready” She mockingly says in your tone of voice. You shove her shoulder lightly. 
“Come on lets finish the dishes, I rinse, you dry?” You stand over the sink, turn on the sink and scrub the dinner plates with a soapy sponge.
“Mhm, sounds like a solid plan” She hums, picking up the drying towel from the towel rack as you start to hand her some rinsed dishes. You cheekily smile to yourself as you get a devious idea. Megan is suddenly met with a warm splash of water from the sink head
“You did not just do that” She looks at you astonished, Mouth agape. “You little shit, Yn” 
“Such hurtful words require punishment” You giggle as you spray her with more water,
“What the fuck!” She squeals, feeling the water soak her shirt, “that's not fair, i don't have a sink to spray you too.” Suddenly it seems as Megan gets an idea for your payback.
“Come here, YN. Give me, your girlfriend, A hug. why don't you?” 
“No! I'm not gonna hug you, Meg. You gotta catch me first.” She roars with laughter as she chases after you in the kitchen. 
“Im gonna get you!” She loudly shouts, Running you into the corner of the kitchen.
“I’ve got you trapped now don't i?” She pants.
“I guess so, And what are you gonna do about it?”
You tease her, She pulls you into a wet hug “Eughhhh, it's so cold” You groan feeling her damp top spread the water on your shirt. She pulls away, Snickering at the sight of your now also damp shirt, 
“You get what's coming for you.”
“Can i atleast borrow a shirt or something?” You pull your shirt away from your chest to unstick it from your skin.
“Yeah, Come on. Let's go upstairs and dry off.” She grasps her hand with yours, Her nails graze your wrist. She drags you up the stairs into her room. You stare in awe, It looks similar to when you were last here but different at the same time.
“You took down the BTS posters?” You take a glance at her as she rummages through her closet for two shirts.
“Figured it was time to grow up i guess” She sighs and pulls out the shirts. 
“You sure it wasnt just your new friends pressuring you? Not that it really matters honestly, just curious.”
“Yes its fine, seriously, YN. I dont get whats your problem is right now, they were just posters.” She throws a purple oversized shirt at you.
“Just asking, No offence and all that” You exhale deeply, “Should i go to the bathroom and change or?” She just nods and you take that as your sign to leave the room.
You reenter the room and she's laying on her bed, Phone in hand. You knock on the door frame, she glances up then pats the side of the bed for you to sit down.
“Sorry by the way. Its not really my place to ask those types of questions.” You sit on the end of her bed.
“Its okay, I'm sorry too by the way. I overreacted a tad.” You observe as she hesitates to interlock hands, You take action as you interlock your pinkies together. 
"I guess i realized how much you've changed. And i guess i wasn't ready to fully realize it." You lay next to her, Brushing shoulders.
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risingsoleil · 2 days ago
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can we get hc on teen parents (17-18) linzin and the gaang's reaction?
Lin feels like a failure and is terrified. She has no idea what Tenzin will say, but she knows that this child could be an airbender, so she should keep baby....
When she tells Tenzin, he's definitely shocked. But he asks very softly and innocently, "We're gonna be a family?" And something about that question makes Lin feel like she chose the right guy to have a kid with.
Telling Tenzin was fine, but now what about their family?
Immediately, Lin can feel the dread from the acolytes and the press.
Against her headstrong nature, Lin holds Tenzin's hand and says, "Let's go someplace else."
"Where?"
"Anywhere. But not here. I...I don't want anyone else to know. We could go to my grandparents."
Tenzin is a bt confused because they will be fine in RC. His parents are here, plus his mom is the best healer ever. So Lin would be in very safe hands. But Lin points at an acolyte walking by and Tenzin understands.
And so, Tenzin tells his family Lin wants to visit her grandparents and he'll go with her. They don't give much other explanation, besides they will leave in the next few days and will write/call when they can.
Katara and Aang dont see a problem with it, but find it a bit odd.
When they get to Gaoling, Poppy immediately senses something is up. It takes a couple weeks until Lin privately tells her about the pregnancy and that she doesn't want anyone knowing. Not even Toph right now. She wanted to have space from the city so that she, Tenzin, and baby aren't stressed.
Poppy is a bit disappointed and upset, she supports and loves Lin very much. at least Tenzin is showing that he wants to be part of their lives and will be there for them. Unlike the men Toph got involved with.
Everything goes great for Linzin. Lao almost wanted Tenzin murdered, but he's calmed down a bit after they had a man-to-man talk. Tenzin told him that he will marry Lin, but doesn't want to ask immediately bc Lin will think it's only bc of baby. He tells him that he has a betrothal necklace in the works and that he'll give it to Lin at the right time.
Lao and Poppy bring in the best healers in Gaoling to monitor Lin's pregnancy.
Baby is growing well and it's in the 6 month of pregnancy, that Katara, Aang, and Toph visit Gaoling.
They're in for a hella big surprise when they see pregnant Lin.
Kataang hounds Tenzin.
Toph interrogates and grills both of them.
"How long have you known?! How far along are you?!"
"...Just past 6 months..."
"Did you get knocked up here or before?"
"Before."
Katara and Aang go into some long lecture that Lin is not really listening to. Toph is going insane listening to them prattle on, so she just imprisons Tenzin's body with earth.
"Alright loverboy, since you got my kid knocked up, what are you gonna do about it? If you give the wrong answer, you get an early funeral and your parents go to jail."
Katara glares at her. "Why do we go to jail?"
"For offing your son. Then you try to kill me, but I beat both of your asses anyway. So you go to jail for being losers."
"That doesn't make any sense, Toph! And it's not ethical!"
"So what? Proves that I'm still better than you two."
Linzin is just trying to get out of this conversation. When everyone finally calms down, Lin is like "I wanted to leave because I didn't want to be around the press and acolytes. Gaoling felt safe for me and our baby. So I did what was best for us and Tenzin supported me. Sorry we didn't tell you the truth, but we wanted to face this on our own."
All's well, and they do try to come to terms that they'll become grandparents. They love that it's between Lin and Tenzin, but just so shocked at their ages. But they do support them as much as they can. Giving advice, Katara taking over to monitor Lin's pregnancy, Aang guiding Tenzin on fatherhood + air nation culture, etc. Toph and her parents clash a bit bc they think she parented poorly for Lin to be a teen mom.
The convo between Toph and her parents gives her some perspective on how she hasn't been present for both of her girls. Suyin has been acting up and Toph is learning that she needs to be more involved.
Aang can't stay all the time bc Avatar duties, but he does write and visit when he can. Kya and Bumi also come down at different times to bully Tenzin lol
"It was that good, huh?" Bumi jeered, slapping Tenzin on the back.
"Go awayyy."
Kya punches his arm next. "Now remember, you hurt Lin, we break your bones."
"Yeah I got it. Why would I ever hurt her?"
"Because no girl would take you. You should be thankful Lin has a heart and wants to be with you. So if you fuck it up with her, we fuck you up."
Tenzin is so annoyed with them and just huffs and pouts, while wind blows in their faces.
Sokka and Suki manage to visit them, and they;re not judgmental. But they do try to give solid life advice to Tenzin. They feel like Lin is gonna be okay mostly and she's got things handled. But I think they want Tenzin to be a good man to Lin and a good father to baby. Hakoda fought in the war, so never intentionally abandoned him and Katara, but being a present father is the idea that Sokka drives into Tenzin.
Aang grew up with a different concept of family, so his advice to Tenzin about parenting has different content from Sokka's messages.
Izumi comes down to visit too, and she brings all kinds of snacks and gifts for Lin and baby. Iroh is probably already born around this time? So she can bring him too for Linzin to practice lol
Suyin doesn't want to visit Lin during the pregnancy at all because her sister is taking up Toph's attention. And she's pissed about it. She doesn't meet her new niece until Linzin returns to RC.
Tenzin was with Lin during the birth because he couldn't stand not being there. Katara delivered her granddaughter, and the delivery went smoothly.
The whole family is there (minus Suyin, Sokka, and Suki) and everyone is absolutely enamored with the baby.
Lin feels like she has to wait 30 mins until she can hold her own baby for more than 10 mins.
Katara shoos them out so that Lin and Tenzin can rest with their baby. But she stays close by, along with a few other trusted servants, to assist Lin and baby.
Lin and Tenzin have no idea what they're doing, but they know everythin will be okay.
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kyofsonder · 2 years ago
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I let my guard down because my parents haven't deadnamed me in months, so coming to after a seizure (I do take my anti-seizure meds, but it's not a "100% of seizures are prevented at all times" kind of thing) and hearing a whole bunch of misgendering in the other room while they discuss how to help me recover -- "she's breathing better now and her hands aren't shaking so much, so I think she just has to sleep it off" -- is not a good time. It wouldn't be a good time normally, but it's worse when I'm caught off guard. I already feel shitty from having a literal seizure, please don't make me listen to a barrage of misgendering just because you think I'm too out of it to be offended. It doesn't help me feel better to hear that in the other room. My mom could at least use they/them, since she can't seem to bring herself to use he/him. She does so well on so many other fronts re: me being trans, but pronouns are one of those things that... I'm too exhausted to even correct her on it most of the time. Especially right now, recovering from a seizure.
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moeblob · 4 days ago
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I like the fact Tremaine's designated color is pink while Germaine's is maroon because if I draw them together it looks so bright and happy but they're in a dying world and both commit crimes many times a week just to survive. But hey, whatever.
If love is how they die, it beats starvation or injury! So letting them be codependent is like a treat almost.
#my characters#germaine and tremaine at least have each other (and kind of adopt motka as familial)#as mentioned prev with germaine who is the material wealth based layer guy#tremaine is the layer of lust and motka (who i keep mentioning) is the layer for gluttons#but while germaine is pretty much the embodiment OF being overly greedy and materialistic is incredibly rational#and while he hates it he knows when to cut a loss (item wise)#tremaine while the layer of lust and who does like the idea of having a fling has minimal desire for an actual romance#and based on the world they live in he knows its not really reasonable to expect a lot of intimacy and is mostly fine with it#but to cope with that lack of intimacy he is very touchy feely with the team including draping over his brothers back#or hugging motka whenever he wants despite germaine and motka being very much not fond of contact#to them its like ok fine tremaine is the exception but no one else can touch me#motka as the layer for gluttons is a bit different in that he is more uh.... the layer rather than the glutton#so he likes to cook and he likes to make others eat and he doesnt really eat much himself#hed rather make that someone elses joy especially since resources are hard to come by#so he acts like the group mom and germaine (as one of the oldest) is group dad and they're most of the reason why the group stays alive#also oddly enough to point out but germaine and tremaine are the only sibling layers while other layers DO have siblings#like the other oldest one has a younger sister and the team doctor guy has two younger siblings (twins)#and then the youngest member (limbo) has an older brother#so yeah i dont really know why the wellington brothers get to both be layers but theyre making it everyones problem#i really liked the cast for this plot but i dont really have much in terms of how i wanted the plot to go ?#so i dont draw them a whooooole lot but been thinking about these codependent brothers lately#and final note but motka used to have a younger sister but she died from illness which is why he is so lenient with tremaine#hes like i wish i still had a younger sibling so now you will be like my family if youd let me#and tremaine blissfully unaware for the longest time that THATS why motka is so lenient with the touching from him#its because hes more pleased by the Still Having a Sibling Aspect rather than pleased with tremaine
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b4kuch1n · 2 years ago
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more sk8. I think the cindereki stuff is extremely stupid but I am not immune to trying to conceptualize a princess gown in any setting
#sk8 the infinity#kyan reki#hasegawa langa#renga#if ur wondering yes the first gown I uh. pulled? from the brothers grimm version's idea#which I do prefer to the perrault/disney version. specifically bc there's no fairy#there are three balls happening on three consecutive nights and each night cinderella gets a gown and accessories from a tree#growing on her mom's grave#(the version I grew up with (translated to vietnamese) actually wrote it to be her dad's grave instead I literally dont know why)#and the wording is like. ''rain gold and silver on me'' or something like that? which is why all of the dangly bits in that design#(dont worry about the rest of the brothers grimms version. thats not important. dont think about it its not in the room with us)#also in this post: future!renga bc of fucking course. who do you think I am. who do you think I am#I see a character I love I immediately try to imagine a good future for them it is Simply my ways#ft. the lethal combo of being three kinds of queer + adhd + a teen#may just be bc I myself don't go to college lol. but I can't really imagine reki going to college. he'd get apprenticeship somewhere#like immediately. on sight. some uncle in nago would snatch him up a sentence in#I waffle on langa but him just getting out of the biggest shock of his life + severe depression would Not let go of his loved ones#so tbh I can't imagine him leaving okinawa either. at least right after high school#langa has the advantage of not giving a single shit about ''his potentials'' so he'll be chasing life's pleasures for a hot second thank you#also I believe in reki speaking at least passable conversational english thank you. he's trans and gay in asia#he's just also the kind of guy who has to think for a hot second to remember which way the written number 3 faces#''nailed the logic just plugged the wrong number in several times'' kind of guy#while langa's the ''doesn't understand the fundamental concept of puzzles'' kind of guy#man. this is like having two homunculi implanted in my brain. welcome boys come join leon pokemon#talk to each others while I do my job ok? thank you#that said. the comm queue should be finished up soon#(funny thing to say about three comms I know. but I will say it anyway)#and I'll take a few days break to unclench my brain and then get back into it#every day I learn new things about the dip pen. its great#okay. nap now tho. anything else can wait
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willowfey · 1 year ago
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starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal
#the first thing i do when i become conscious is check my phone to make sure nothing terrible happened to anyone i love while i slept#i never ever ever have plans and if anyone Else has plans i feel sick with anxiety until they’re back from them#if i have smth planned that week i feel completely tense and on edge until it happens#i didn’t used to be like this i hate hate hate it#i used to feel safe in my little house in the forest where i knew everyone in town and knew my way around with my eyes shut#it’s still the only place in the world i feel safe. that’s so unfair#my separation anxiety is ridiculous. if my mom goes to the store and doesn’t answer a text right away i start panicking#if my sister goes to a class or smth idk what to do with myself until she gets back#if i’m in the shower or have the fan on or headphones in suddenly i’ll think i hear someone shouting and i’ll have to quickly turn it off#ever since i moved here it’s been getting worse. i don’t feel safe here to begin with i feel so out of place it’s unreal#but then covid and trauma with my mother’s health and my uncle dying and multiple relatives getting sick and things happening to my friends#i know i have ptsd from very specific things that happened and i live on a hospital path so every day i hear sirens#and every time i do it fully triggers an anxiety attack in me for at least an hour. and my mom too#since being here my hometown burned and friends i thought would never grow apart did and my brother moved out#i know a lot of that is just Being In Your Low Twenties but also some of my worst trauma has happened in the last handful of years and now#now i’m just always scared. always uneasy. always worried. never fully relaxed. never feel fully safe. & idk how to be myself through that#i’m always paranoid and i never trust people irl anymore. ppl my mom or sister meet. i am so suspicious of them constantly.#if anything small changes at all i can’t handle it. my ability to deal with change has gone so downhill#in the last 5 years of being here i realised i was autistic which led to me unmasking a bit and that. comes with pros & cons doesn’t it#my own health has declined. my body changed a lot in ways i wasn’t prepared for and i had to get rid of most of my comfort clothes#sometimes i just wanna sit on the ground and cry about it and not have to also be the one that picks myself back up. y’know???#but at the very least i’d love to just wake up One Day w/o feeling sick with anxiety already. just one day i want to wake up feeling rested#i want to be myself again but can i start with not being scared? not being tired? i don’t know what to do anymore#i just watch my comfort videos and read my comfort fics and stay in my daydream world
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puppyeared · 11 months ago
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for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........
#MOTHER FFFFUCKER#to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants#im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night#at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn#to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS#the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori#but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey#consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!!#just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick#outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to#animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better#at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH#i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc#im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over#where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands#there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE#ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles#but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your#health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!!#im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves#also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet#im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to#have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to#to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up#their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ#yapping
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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 10 months ago
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Ok everyone I have a very important question for you. No judgement I am genuinely just curious because this strikes me as so odd
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skrunksthatwunk · 20 days ago
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BREAKING NEWS i said yeah on the phone and rascal meowed back at me from across the room hehe
#ALSO. PARENTS JUST INFORMED ME WE MAY BE ADOPTING/FOSTERING A DOG#IT'S SUPER SHORT NOTICE BC HE'S A SHELTER GUY AND HE'S SET TO BE EUTHANIZED SOON#IM. FREAKING OUT I WANNA MEET HIM SO BAD I WANT THE DETAILS BUT IM ON CAMPUS RN#8 MONTH OLD SHEPHERD MIX (not sure what kind of shepherd but ig probably german?). IM COMIN TO GET YOU#this may mess with my 'what if we got a cat after my senior dogs are gone' idea but. but oupy dog#god i love dogs so much uaughhh.... im getting my hopes up so much you guys don't even know#i mean they wouldn't tell us only to say no right#update they are going to meet him + tomorrow we'll bring our dogs and the whole family to meet him#assuming my mom's allergies don't act up around him#but he looks and seems so sweet and goofy and weirdly gentle which is good bc sometimes shepherds can be a bit rough#and that's also good bc like. we have two senior dogs and we don't want him to stress them out or injure them by being a puppy all over them#one of the shelter videos respectfully pans away as he squats to take a shit which is very charming to me#but yeah i really really hope it works out bc like. he seems like such a guy + i love animals So So Much + i don't think anyone else would#swoop in in time if we don't. our shelter is perpetually full and they're a kill shelter#and im choosing not to think about the possibility of us not at least fostering him for the time being#bc i need to keep working and thinking I Killed This Dog By Not Somehow Forcing My Parents Into It is not going to help that#and i have no reason to believe it Will go wrong. all signs point to good atm so im going to trust that#even if it means i eventually get charlie brown footballed by my dogs hating him or something
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bunnyb34r · 1 month ago
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Idk why I'm thinking ab this today but you know what really fucking bothers me? When people foster dogs and give them table food. Maybe their new owners don't want them wating table food? Maybe they don't want their dog to beg for food?
You're just being a dick bc "ohh but he likes it!!" But that's not your dog... Like sure maybe their new home won't mind that and will think it's cute but to me that feels like giving a toddler pepsi every day bc "they like it!" And then being shocked that their prospective new family DON'T want them drinking pepsi (at least as a child).
You're just loading them up on this dopamine rewarding habit and then they're not gonna understand why their new family DON'T let them have the yummy food when the LAST person did! Oh I must have to beg MORE.
And you're like pre-loading them with bad behavior 😑 I just I dont get it
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crimescrimson · 1 year ago
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Favourite Gothic Horror Women in Videogames: Laura Victoriano | Bela Dimitrescu | The Shade
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toytulini · 2 months ago
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man when we had an auto litterbox it just Kinda Sucked
i didnt realize they were selling ones so actively dangerous and deadly
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