#my mom was at least using they/them for a bit

[sugar--brown]

Aw... sorry! Don't worry as the self-proclaimed queen of fluff, my focus is more on "how do I fix my blorbos?"

So! Imagine...

Nastya is floating into space aimlessly, alternating between hazy consciouness and death. She is just cold all the time now, space is pretty lifeless and lonely in comparaison of her family. Especially without her coat. She hasn't had a clear thought in years... or is it centuries?

Until she crashes on the windshield of a ship. Like a cute little space starfish. But not on any ship. On Silvana! Where Carmilla is currently the captain.

Turns out, Carmilla has found the little piece of metal with the numbers the cyberians had engraved on Aurora. She would never forget them. Ever. And of course, she was worried for her little moonshine!

So, when Carmilla had detected Nastya (don't ask how), she came to pick her up. What happened? Had she been airlocked? That was unusual, usually it was Toy Soldier who was the target...

It's hard to have answers from a popsicle Nastya, so Carmilla puts her daughter on bed rest until she is better. With lots of fluffy blankets and her favourite space hot chocolates.

But of course, Nastya is not going to be better. The moment her thoughts are clear enough, she shuts down. Because her life is over. Her Aurora is dead, she abandonned her family and band, her planet doesn't exist anymore, her relationship with her mom is rocky... what could she looks forward to?

After lot of soft persuasion, treats, and soothing songs, Carmilla is able to convince Nastya to at least explain what is going on in her head.

Nastya doesn't say "I'm scared of changes and organic beings in general because the first time I came in contact with them it traumatized me, so I snapped when the last bit of her homeplanet disappeared" because she is not aware that this is the problem. Instead she says to Carmilla the same thing she said to Jonny before shutting down again.

Carmilla is distressed to hear that, a love so pure and wonderful which lasted for milleniums couldn't shatter like this! Especially not between Aurora and Nastya. So, she goes to speak to Aurora. Nastya refusing to leave the Silvana.

Carmilla talks woth her oldest, in a way she never did before. It's raw, it's hard, but it's geniune. Carmilla talks about how Nastya still considers herself as cyberian, how herself had been negligent of the mechs' mental healths, how her relationship with Loreli went... Aurora also talks, which became small miracles lately. She talks about how she feels like Nastya loved her only because she had been abused and not because of who she was. She talks how hurt to realize that Nastya only saw her as a machine. She talks how she will never act as an organic being because it is wrong of her.

And oh boy! Carmilla and Aurora have a lot to talk about.

Meanwhile, Nastya is still in bed aboard Silvana. Refusing to move a finger. Which doesn't please Silvana.

Silvana is not everyone. They (let's use they as their pronouns) are a sentient ship just like Aurora, or maybe not in details but close enough! And they are offended about how Nastya talked about Aurora. They have a conscious! They are not an object that you can change entierly by switching pannels and bolts! How dare this little princess to imply it's the case! Silvana was expecting more than that when she listen Carmilla's tales about The Mechanisms.

Silvana is less soft and accomadating than Carmilla. They are not a mom. They are a spaceship able to travel between dimensions! So, she forces Nastya to talk.

And when Nastya finally snaps and says what she has buried deep down... She breaks down. She screams, she cries, she destroys things... she is messy. In a way she never really had been. Just like any organic beings. Or at least any immortal organic beings.

Silvana is surprisingly great at helping realised that Aurora is still Aurora even if she changes. Just like Nastya isn't the same than years ago. That running away is just hurting herself. And the love of her life.

I will not pretend that everything is perfect right away. And certainly not that everything goes back to how it was.

But, gradually and with a lot of errors, Nastya and Aurora reconnects. It took a stupidly long time! But they have the eternity to fall in love again. In a new way. A more geniune one. It feels like a new relationship, one based on the love they have for the real person their partner is, not what they represent.

It's slow, painful, and ridiculously messy, but they succeed. Nastya went In.

Just in time for a certain Pilchard to put a computer virus in Aurora, making Nastya succomb to it just the way she would have when she had this unique connexion to her love back in the days.

It's no wonder Out happened when you really think about it. Nastya doesn't like organic life because it's complicated, it can break, sometimes it's even unfixable.

quote from gender rebels

Nastya is in love with Aurora, and in saying that she is saying "you are not organic life, I can deal with you because you are metal and algorithm and predictable" - we can see this in bedtime story when she says she'll tweak Aurora's story creation algorithm

screenshot from A Bedtime Story

Aurora is not inorganic. She is not ai. She is a space moon made of flesh and blood and teeth and bone. She is not an ai. She is a body that was taken and stripped of autonomy, of the right to self identify, of the right to think- to be imperfect and organic.

The metal is a veneer that hides how messy and traumatized and unfixable she is. From the outside she is a starship. From the inside she can still bleed.

And this makes them fundamentally incompatible. But yet, they are in love.

And really, it's no wonder Nastya fell in love with Aurora. Let's take a look at Nastya's home planet, or at least home society:

"Terminals were scattered across the planet. There was one on every street corner, one beneath every lamppost and one in every commune block." "The midwife-machine performs a series of programmed manœuvres to quieten [the baby]. It cradles it and hums at several pitches until it finds one that seems most soothing. Mechanical arms stroke the baby’s flesh even as others start the process of implanting augmented reality interfaces into its nervous system." "The Czar an atrophied frame, never present in the real world and worn to dust by the chemical compounds that kept his brain alive so it could live forever in a perfect virtual paradise. The Rabotnik a copy, a mind preserved unchanging in the instant before its death and placed in an everlasting metal frame." (Cyberian Demons)

Its safe to say the world Nastya was born into, from the very minute she was born, was ridden with technology. She has augmented reality interfaces inplanted into her from birth. It would stand to reason that being taken from this society, wherein technology is everywhere, inside and out, would stand for a bit of a shock.

Aurora too had been augmented by the Cyberia.

While it is stated that the last time Nastya had used the ports themselves was directly before her death — "The last time she had used the ports, her tutor had ripped them out of her as the rebels stormed the palace" — Aurora is laced with Cyberian technology. I'd imagine she has something of a 'bluetooth wireless connection' with Aurora, rather than the physical data transfer of files between the ports and Nastya, it may as well be similar enough.

Imagine being Nastya, going from Cyberia, wherein there is augmented reality contantly, transplanted onto a ship with metal blood, a jonny, and a vampire. To Aurora, where the only bits of augmented reality run through Aurora.

Of course she'd fall in love with her. Aurora is familiarity. Aurora isn't organic. Aurora isn't human.

And of course when the undeniable part of aurora that is organic, that is a flesh moon plated in metal with her brain hooked to machines, when so much has broken and been replaced, when, presumably, aurora is less of an algorithm, nastya leaves with the brand cyberia left on her.

Because Aurora healing, becoming more of herself and less of a starship, is messy, and organic, and human.

and hard for nastya.

‘Think how long she’s been flying you around. Think how many bullet holes you’ve punched through her and how many atmospheres you’ve dropped her through. Think how many alterations and improvements we’ve made, Tim to her guns and Ashes to her storage and Brian to her engines and the Toy Soldier to who knows what. How much do you think is left of her after all she’s brought you through?’ Nastya held up the ancient, battered piece of hull plating. Just visible under the grime and scars of particles of space junk was a fragment of the Aurora’s original logo and serial number. Jonny honestly couldn’t remember the last time he had seen a version that hadn’t been painted by the Mechanisms themselves. ‘So she’s free, now.’ Nastya gestured around at the spaceship they were standing in. ‘This Aurora can take you where you want to go. I’m going to take my Aurora somewhere else.’

Aurora was ship of theseus'd. Aurora was improved. Aurora was no longer cyberian. (both literally, and metaphorically)

So nastya left.

[gothamite-rambler]

Damian's family meets his new friend

Damian strode into the living room, accompanied by a brown-skinned girl. His father, brothers, and sister were engaged in various tasks when they turned their attention to the girl beside him.

Dick: Damian, who's the girl next to you? Did you kidnap a Girl Scout?

Carrie (laughing softly): Have you done that before?

Damian: No, I simply wanted a box of thin mints. This is my friend Carrie.

Carrie waved energetically, a bright smile on her face something the family wasn't used to seeing.

Carrie: Hi, Damian has told me so much about you all! I wasn't expecting you to look this cool.

Damian rolled his eyes, clearly not agreeing with her assessment.

Carrie: Damian, who's the cute one next to your dad?

Damian (jaw clenched): Tim. He is not cute!

Tim: Wow, that was uncalled for! I was just sitting here. Hi, Carrie!

Carrie giggled, slightly hiding her face as a blush crept in. Damian sighed heavily.

Damian: Father, can we please change the subject?

Bruce (genuinely surprised that his son made a friend): Nice to meet you, Carrie! Damian’s mentioned you quite a bit. Though, to be honest, most of us thought you were just a figment of his imagination. I didn’t, but they did.

Carrie: Oh, that’s funny! No worries, I’m his bestie. He hates that I call him that, but it’s true. Damian, did you really say I was imaginary? The shock! I'm deeply offended.

Carrie dramatically placed a hand on her heart, eliciting a smile from Damian at her playful act.

Damian: No, my siblings just think I'm too antisocial to have a real friend. But as you can see, she’s right here, standing next to me. We’ll be in the library studying until 6 when her mom picks her up.

Carrie: I thought we were going to play video games!

Damian (exasperated): After we study, remember?

Carrie gasped, then quickly nodded in agreement.

Carrie: Nice meeting you all!

With that, Damian and Carrie exited the living room.

Cass: Was she actually here, or are we all losing our minds too?

Jason: I think she's real… but is he paying her to be his friend?

Dick: No way. He's not that desperate—he's Bruce's kid. They both try very hard to avoid people not pay them to befriend them.

Bruce : Okay, that’s true, but it was uncalled for. I’m genuinely happy for him. At least she’s not related to Clark.

Jason: It'd make you happy if he was friends with an actual villain than a Kent?

Bruce chuckled and nodded in agreement.

Bruce: There’s only so much I can handle with him. Either way, I’m glad Damian is making friends. I never had that chance.

Tim (annoyed): Because your parents got shot in an alley, which made you a nihilist who hates the world. We get it! Our parents died too, you're not special!

Dick and Jason laughed, nodding in agreement.

Cass (mumbling): I wish mine were dead.

Bruce (defensive): I was just about to say it’s because I studied a lot in school. Geez! I don’t use my parents’ deaths as an excuse all the time. Sometimes, I’m just terrible with social skills.

Dick: The fact that I don’t even doubt you speaks volumes.

pt 1

[kyofsonder]

I let my guard down because my parents haven't deadnamed me in months, so coming to after a seizure (I do take my anti-seizure meds, but it's not a "100% of seizures are prevented at all times" kind of thing) and hearing a whole bunch of misgendering in the other room while they discuss how to help me recover -- "she's breathing better now and her hands aren't shaking so much, so I think she just has to sleep it off" -- is not a good time. It wouldn't be a good time normally, but it's worse when I'm caught off guard. I already feel shitty from having a literal seizure, please don't make me listen to a barrage of misgendering just because you think I'm too out of it to be offended. It doesn't help me feel better to hear that in the other room. My mom could at least use they/them, since she can't seem to bring herself to use he/him. She does so well on so many other fronts re: me being trans, but pronouns are one of those things that... I'm too exhausted to even correct her on it most of the time. Especially right now, recovering from a seizure.

[bunnihearted]

regardless of the "learn how to be alone" dravel, being lonely actually is really bad for your mental health and can be very painful :p

[b4kuch1n]

more sk8. I think the cindereki stuff is extremely stupid but I am not immune to trying to conceptualize a princess gown in any setting

[willowfey]

starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal

[puppyeared]

for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Ok everyone I have a very important question for you. No judgement I am genuinely just curious because this strikes me as so odd

[skrunksthatwunk]

BREAKING NEWS i said yeah on the phone and rascal meowed back at me from across the room hehe

[bunnyb34r]

Idk why I'm thinking ab this today but you know what really fucking bothers me? When people foster dogs and give them table food. Maybe their new owners don't want them wating table food? Maybe they don't want their dog to beg for food?

You're just being a dick bc "ohh but he likes it!!" But that's not your dog... Like sure maybe their new home won't mind that and will think it's cute but to me that feels like giving a toddler pepsi every day bc "they like it!" And then being shocked that their prospective new family DON'T want them drinking pepsi (at least as a child).

You're just loading them up on this dopamine rewarding habit and then they're not gonna understand why their new family DON'T let them have the yummy food when the LAST person did! Oh I must have to beg MORE.

And you're like pre-loading them with bad behavior 😑 I just I dont get it

[crimescrimson]

Favourite Gothic Horror Women in Videogames: Laura Victoriano | Bela Dimitrescu | The Shade

[toytulini]

man when we had an auto litterbox it just Kinda Sucked

i didnt realize they were selling ones so actively dangerous and deadly

[hellodahliah]

curious question:

what is your favourite club that came with get together? why is it your favorite club?

If you have created clubs yourself, what kind of club did you create?

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

I caught myself looking like 😑 again at the grocery store today and I feel so awkward. I don’t want to come off as an asshole to anyone working there (it must suck as a job, especially during summer tourist season) but my face is just like this! I think it would be really funny if I got a custom t-shirt one day that just said “sorry, it’s (probably) not you. My face is just like this” with the 😑 emoji under it

[arionawrites]

1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!

2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr

3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!

overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!

[rubberbandballqueen]

How was Taiwan?

it was good!!!!

i had my donut stolen by a monkey with its little grabby hands, studied the fonts they use on road signs over there, ate some really good fruit that is either unavailable in the states (蓮霧) or just Not The Same (buddha's head), HAD SOME RANDOM GUY CLAIMING TO BE A JOURNALIST COME UP TO ME AND GIVE ME HIS CALLING CARD AND INSIST I CALL HIM IF I EVER GOT IN TROUBLE WITH THE POLICE??, executed Tumblr Code In Real Life when i met up with a Beloved Mutual for the first time and had like this ginormous smoothie like a whole fucking goblet just a massive smoothie chalice at the cafe we hung out in, rode the train AND the subway a couple times, tried to look up a bunch of music ultimately too obscure to be found by the shazam app, photographed several dozen flowers, and then seem to have left my school ID behind after i had to hang my jacket out to dry the night before we left c':