#(funny thing to say about three comms I know. but I will say it anyway)

[hurtspideyparker]

Hi, sorry but could you recommend any of your favourite Peter Parker fics please?

For sure !!! *cracks open ao3 bookmarks*

Thirty Hours by polaroid15 - Peter doesn't take any breaks during a lengthy fight with the Avengers. The mind-melting fever that follows really should have been expected.

Hurt Peter Parker, my favourite tag <3 I love when Spider-Man is a badass and also lacks self-preservation. He's so cool fighting alongside the Avengers and we get some sweet hurt/comfort irondad!

Fitting In (Tiny Spaces) by aloneintherain - Peter's trapped beneath a collapsed building during a mission, hurt and unable to move. Luckily, his comm still works. Unluckily, the Avengers don’t realise how bad of a state Peter is in, and Peter isn’t inclined to tell them.

This fic is an icon in the fandom and for GOOD REASON. I just can not get enough of Peter Parker hiding his injuries. More heavy whump and angst!

All good things come in threes by Bergen - Peter has three secret identities: Spider-Man, the superhero who swings around the city to save people. Parker Benjamin, who gives Tony Stark unsolicited advice on his research. And NightMonkey, the Instagrammer who keeps uploading increasingly popular but embarrassing drawings of Iron Man.

And he can juggle them all just fine, thankyouverymuch.

Okay here is the fluff!!! Peter is a genius, a menace, and a sweetheart. Tony Stark runs into him (again and again) and can't help but have a soft spot for him every time. Funny and cute and an all 'round good time!

Held Together by Spiderwebs by TunaFishChris - Steve is not coping well in the twenty-first century. At all. Three months after the Chitauri invasion, he decides he's had enough.

But just as he's about to end it all, he runs into the new hero in town.

This one focuses a lot on Steve but I really like him and Peter's relationship in it, and I think this is great Peter Parker characterization. TW for discussions of depression and suicide, it gets a bit dark!

5 Times Spider-Man Saved an Avenger's Ass (and 1 Time They Saved Him) by TunaFishChris - this fic showcases how strong and capable Peter is, he's definitely a BAMF. I really like this genre where the Avengers know Spider-Man but not Peter Parker, makes Peter feel more independent and mature like in the comics.

Five Time Faculty Members Had to Call Peter's Emergency Contact + One Time He Shows Up Anyway, Five Times Tony Stark's Fabled Intern Just Showed Up + One Time He Was Invited, and Five Times Strangers Talked About Peter and Tony + One time Someone They Know Did by kingdomfaraway - I am just gonna recommend this entire series. Super fluffy, extreme irondad and spiderson. They're just adorable from an outside perspective and I love when Peter gets to just be Tony's intern and a teenager for a while :)

research and disaster by blueh - “So, uh, Mr. Stark definitely knows Roomba-Kid,” Becket says and discreetly tilts his head in the direction of the pair.

“Oh my god,” Jess says. She almost sounds gleeful. “Oh my god, he’s not just some random kid. He’s Mr. Stark’s kid.”

or: the interns at Stark Industries have some questions about Peter Parker. The answers aren’t quite what they expect.

I just love intern Peter mk? Let him be a kid genius and have fun!!! Fluffy and humorous, again with the irondad.

Captain, Oh My- Not My Captain! by uncouth_peasant - Peter swallowed hard before firing a web to swing into the fray. “Cap’s going after civilians. I’m out of time.”

Bruised and bloody men <3. Just Peter being a badass and getting beat to a pulp. Cool fighting, lots of Peter whump, and of course the Avengers being protective.

Good publicity by Bergen - Between Peter Parker barely speaking, and Spider-Man being the ultimate chatterbox, how was Tony ever supposed to figure out that they were one and the same person?

Tony Stark is secretly a softie for cute kids, especially when they're a genius and have a sense of humour to rival his own. Peter is a foster kid who ends up finding a home with Pepper and Tony, very sweet.

The Third Option by Uncertainty_Principle - When Ben is murdered Peter goes into foster care. It takes just a tiny taste of superpowers for Peter to decide he doesn’t want to put up with his horrible foster father anymore—the streets are infinitely more appealing. All he wants is to be Spider-Man anyway.

So he leaves, simple.

Simple, that is, until Iron Man needs Spider-Man’s help.

Heavy TW for this one, mind the tags. This is a popular fic and for good reason. A very mature and realistic portrayal of the foster care system and homelessness. The Peter angst is really great and I could barely put it down, that boy needs a hug so bad.

Now here's some hydra!Peter fics cuz they're my jam:

Peter is a precious chickpea by Bergen - They attack the HYDRA safe house shortly before sunrise.

The only people defending said safe house are Peter and Leo, and Leo slams his cell door open and starts spitting out orders, but then promptly gets clobbered over the head and keels sideways.

So that just leaves Peter. And he’s not even going to try to fight a whole team of Avengers. He looks up at Iron Man filling the doorway. “I surrender.”

He’s never been captured before and he’s not sure what to do. Escape, probably.

This entire series is PERFECT. I just love how adorable Peter is, and all the relationships Peter forms with the Avengers absolutely melt my heart. Peter's characterization in this is really unique and I wish there was more. The Bucky and Peter friendship is everythingggg. I love hydra!peter and bucky fics.

Indoctrination by phoenixon - The Avengers thought they were on a typical assignment: Infiltrate the Hydra base and find the weapon. What they didn't expect was the small boy raised by Hydra that they found instead. And they definitely didn't expect him to stay at Avengers Tower or how he somehow wormed his way into their lives. As for Peter, he just wants to be good and obey what the Hydra men told him so he doesn't get in trouble.

I just really love hydra Peter changing into a sweet and intelligent boy once he's rescued and safe, and how all the Avengers take up such heart-warming parental roles around him.

out there, living in the sun by Hailfire_73 - The Avengers rescue Peter from a Hydra base ran by his father, Richard Parker, except Peter doesn't really see it as a rescue, and has trouble settling into a new life away from Hydra and his father at the Avengers compound. OR - Peter learns how to be an actual teenager, live life, and put his abusive past behind him, and Tony learns how to be a father.

Hydra Peter but he's most definitely a traumatized and moody teenager. I really enjoyed Peter's character arc and the exploration of his trauma. It felt more realistic the way his journey isn't just a straight or clear path. He's more mature in this one and it was a really compelling read, balancing the angst with some humour and fluff. Loved the ending.

Tinker, Tailor, Spider by Bergen - Tony is roped into a mission to transport a teenager to safety. But when things go south, it soon becomes more and more puzzling who the teenager is and what ‘safety’ means for him.

I really enjoy that the author doesn't water Peter being hydra down. Yes he is a highly skilled assassin and a badass who's trauma pervades his every thought and decision. Made me fall in love with the Tony, Pepper, Morgan and Peter as a family dynamic. Super domestic while still highlighting Peter's troubled past.

[ametrictonofaudacity]

Bonds 2

Yandere Platonic Batfam x Trans!Masc Reader

Warnings: mentions of kidnapping/captivity, manipulation, non-consensual touching (cuddles), general yandere themes. Reader has been pretty thoroughly conditioned in this, posted non-chronologically.

There is the soft sound of cracking flames and breathing filling the room, a thick, almost heavy heat that sinks into your bones and makes it hard to think. The logs had long since almost burned themselves out, casting a low, red light over the entire room, a far cry from the cheery yellow it had been not three hours before. Everything is dim and soft, the shadows jumping and dancing when the flames sputter and lick up the logs, refusing to die out.

You hum, sleepy and tired, and turn your head. It’s late, late enough that you wonder when the grandfather clock was going to swing open and let your siblings back into the Manor. Soon, you think. You hoped. It was exhausting, waiting up for them when you didn’t operate on the same schedule they did, unused to pulling long nights without rest and the intense exhaustion that came with what they did.

You huff, pushing the blanket off yourself. The heat was almost stifling, almost uncomfortable, and you lament the fact that you were allowed to open the windows. One gust of Gotham’s wind, biting and chilling and so very dangerous to those who either didn’t know to get out of it in the winter months or couldn’t, would bring relief right away, cool the room down instantly. It used to do the same to your old apartment, even if you hadn’t wanted it to. Wormed it’s way into the cracks and crevices around the windows, whistled loudly as it battered against the door.

Wayne Manor didn’t have that issue. You’re still adjusting to it.

The clock dongs, and you groan, turning your head over to look at it. Fuck, it was late. Late enough you should have gone to bed hours ago, but the silent Manor was almost eerie, the lack of your siblings or Father almost disturbing. Alfred was in the Cave, where you weren’t allowed anyways, monitoring the comms. And you, most likely, now that you thought about it.

The grandfather clock swings open.

You push yourself up, and there’s a strange mix of relief and anxiety in your chest. While you hadn’t, technically, been breaking any rules, you weren’t supposed to be up this late.

It’s Bruce who comes through the entrance first. There’s a heavy exhaustion written all over him, a tiredness that makes your chest twist with something that feels like worry and just might be. Your eyes skim him for injury, for blood, whether it was his or someone else’s.

“You’re not supposed to be up this late.” He frowns, all severe lines and frowns.

“It’s too quite. I couldn’t sleep.” You say, and that makes his shoulders soften, the sternness melting away into something softer, more sympathetic. He sighs, then pulls back his cowl.

“Right. I’m sorry we had to leave you home alone, it was all hands on deck tonight.” He apologizes, like leaving you home alone in the Manor is some great sin he had committed. It was fine. You just weren’t used to the quiet.

“It’s fine, Dad.”

You assure, and he hums. He doesn’t believe you, you know, but he doesn’t press.

The shadows in entrance to the cave shift, just slightly, and Cass melts into your view. You had never figured out how your older sister did that, melted in and out shadow like she belonged in them, but she had startled you more times than you could count doing that. Part of you thought she found it funny.

“Why don’t you let me put a movie on?” You offer, tilting your head. They were always exhausted after patrol, nearly always put on some nostalgic, gentle movie after a long night. You were pretty sure it helped them unwind after a harsh night. It would help you. It had helped you, after fights with them over things that weren’t important and nights when you hadn’t been able to think about anything other than freedom.

“Did you stay up for us? You know you have a bed time, yeah, baby bat?” Dick teases, and you hadn’t even seen him come up, too focused on Cass and Bruce.

“I do not, actually. Y’all just worry I don’t sleep enough.” You huff, batting his hand away gently. He grins, dragging you towards him. It’s not careful, there’s strength behind it, but not enough to hurt.

“That’s because you take after the old man and don’t sleep damn near enough.” Jason scoffs, coming up the stairs and into the room. Tim follows, then Steph and Damian. The only person missing was Duke, but Duke was at his uncles, out of state.

“Okay, well, do you want this stupid movie on or not?” You huff, annoyed. Dick still had you trapped against him, and you knew that wasn’t changing any time soon, so you resign yourself to another night of being forcibly cuddled until you fell asleep. If you were particularly unlucky Tim would manage to cling to you like an octopus and fall asleep, in which case you wouldn’t be able to move for the next day without fear of disclosing him, because any time Tim fell asleep he suddenly developed a death grip and a complete inability to wake up unless a bomb goes off.

“I’ll put it on! It was my turn to pick anyway, no matter what Jason says.” Steph volunteers, flicking the tv on and scrolling through the movies so quickly you barely even have time to look at the titles.

“Slow down, Blondie, fuck.” Jason grumbles, squinting at the screen in annoyance. “My concussion may be gone but that shits annoying.”

“You got a concussion?” You can’t help the barely hidden alarm in your voice. You can’t help it. It wasn’t like Jason had any brain cells he could risk losing, for one, with all the extensive head trauma he had already gotten, and for two, you were ninety percent sure he wasn’t supposed to be looking at a screen after getting one.

“Minor concussion. Practically babies first concussion. ‘Sides, Alfie already checked me out and deemed me a-okay.”

“He’s also benched for the next two days.” Bruce tells you dryly, and you snort.

“You’re as bad as Tim.” The puffed up offense is entirely warranted, and you laugh as he drags you against him, tugging you out of Dick’s grip. Dick pouts, predictably, and you snort, amused. Sometimes your older brother was just a little pathetic.

“Oh, bullshit.”

He snorts, settling into the couch. You end up curled between him and Bruce, and Dick pouts again, before he crawls across the top of the couch, splaying himself out to be in contact with all three of you. It’s borderline uncomfortable to look at, a delicate balancing act that came so naturally to him.

“We’re watching The Devil Wears Prada.” Steph announces. “Because we haven’t seen it in forever.”

“We watched it just the other night!” Jason argues, even as the movie starts to play. You settle further into Bruce’s side, who curls an arm around you lightly as he watches your siblings bicker.

“Fuck you, you don’t hear me complaining everytime you want to watch Little Women!” Steph shoots back, and you laugh.

“That is a goddamn masterpiece, you shut the fuck up. It’s way better than fucking- this shit!” Jason argues, almost genuinely offended.

“Shouldn’t you be intervening?” You stage whisper to Bruce, who shoots you an almost conspiratorial look.

“They don’t listen to me anyways.” You laugh, and it’s nice. Happy.

The sound of the movie and bickering and bodies shifting around each other is calming. Familiar. At some point you drift off, and you wake up to the familiar sensation of being carried in warm arms, safe and secure.

You hum, letting them tuck you in carefully, press a kiss to your forehead. You wouldn’t have, months ago, but now it was something long familiar. Welcomed, even.

You can’t remember what changed. You think you were glad it did.

[derww]

DAY 9: TRIO

Zam knows he is done the moment he touches his hair and feels something firm. He checks by leaning over the nearest puddle of water, and it's barely noticeable, but even now you can already see the small black horns. He easily guesses that later they will start to twist. At that point, he was speaking with Subz every day for two weeks straight. Only two weeks.

It's not like there was even anything special. He got up in the morning, took half of the battle kit, and went to spawn and placed the dirt for twelve hours in a row. And Subz was just there, i guess. They were working together, swapped shulkers with each other from time to time, and gave comms about the amount of dirt in the chest and which parts they had finished. Sure, sometimes they spoke – often it was just Zam asking and Subz answering tho – but it shouldn't have affected so much. He felt alone enough to get attached to not even his ally if they were ready to kill Leviathan. And Subz was. Best fucking choice ever.

Subz was kind to him. He forgiven him, reassured him, helped him. He was easy to love and care. Someone is doing things that have to be done just because no one else would. It was... so generous and strange for the Lifesteal, but so understandable from ItzSubz_, the man who got his best friend by giving out hearts and taking one really strange guy and his cat-maid as a refugee.

The horns grow by almost a centimeter in three days. They thicken at the base and are now noticeable even under the hair. It would be funny if I were poisoned by a corruption instead, he thinks idly. I've always wanted to get chronic pain as a bonus to friendship.

Always all-knowing Planet giggles at him and says that he is a weakling. Bacon mumbles that there is always something wrong with him. Subz says nothing. He just nods, gives him a dirt shulker, asks how he is, says where hes going today, and goes to work.

"Is there something you deeply regret?", Zam asks after his first shulker of dirt ends. "Of course",  Subz answers, "it's inevitable". "How are you dealing with this?" – "I know I can't change anything that already happened and can only be better further in the line," – "But what if its something so bad you can't even accept that you did it?" – "To move on. Its not like there is any more choices".

It's not like he is wrong. But he is – atleast in some way. Zam doesnt say that. He still thinks about the dupe war sometimes. Sometimes he thinks that he could stop all of it if he was smarter. Sometimes he thinks that Spoke would do something destructive anyway, and he never was able to actually outplay him.

"Are you scared?" Subz suddenly asks. Zam pauses for a minute, just staring at the communicator. "Not anymore," he lies, "I was, but it's better now." "That's nice. You are on the right way.".

They're working until late tonight. Even when Subz finally gives up, having not slept for at least a day, Zam stays, and Subz hands over the remaining dirt to him before disappearing into the night. He works until he has no blocks left. And then he just stares at the sky, sitting on the hill he just made. Stars are beautiful tonight. And the moon lacks only a crescent to become full-fledged.

It's... peaceful. This is what he wanted, making The Sanctuary his new home. It's unfortunate that it only brought more problems in the end. Back then, he really only wanted a quiet life alone.

He sleeps in the New Silvington today. It's still blown up, but it's warm and quite down there. This time, memories with Walter soothe him. It's like he had a home again.

When he wakes up, his horns are half of the original length. And Zam feels so, so stupid.

He gets only a few quiet days until Mapicc and Ro show up, and he messages Subz because he has no choice.

Subz comes and covers his back. It's a good thing. By the time Zam enters the Eclipse, the similarity between them is already absolutely obvious. 

– Do you gave yourself this shit? – Subz just asks him one day.

– Kinda, yeah, – he agrees.

– Okay, if you like them. – Subz shrugs and instantly distracts from the topic. Zam stares at him for almost another minute.

He sees Vitalasy the first time after joining only after two weeks of being there, and Vi looks busy and tired, but he's still smiling, and he hugs Subz and, later – Zam. His hands are soft and warm. He feels himself very, very weak.

Vi stays with them in the base under the snow for a week. He helps them fight, brings golden apples, and cooks them sweet cakes. He accepts Zam into the team with an ease – smiles to him, covers his back, tells personal stories, and falls asleep on his shoulder, feeling safe next to him. Vi leaves shortly after, having just too big of a plan and too much of a work.

The next day, Zam already has fox ears.  

[idontknowreallywhy]

Very veeeeeery remotely linked to Day 2’s prompt (blink and you’ll miss it) but here is a bit of a sequel to Inebriated Fishtank… in which they have not entirely ceased to be under the influence…

💛💚💛💚💛💚💛💚💛💚💛💚💛💚💛💚

An enthusiastic steel drum version of ‘Under the Sea’ blared out and Scott slammed his hand on to the comm, eyes still screwed shut… if he didn’t open them he wasn’t awake. And it could have been a butt-call…

He’d never prayed so hard for it to be a butt-call.

“Hey heeeeeeeey Scooooty-McNoodle!!!”

Scott pried an eye open to glare in the general direction of heaven…

“Hello Gordon. Which police station?”

“I am OFFENDEDED ancient brosicle! How could you pres… presufimicate such a thing?”

“You don’t need bail? Then why are you calling me? Go to bed you drunken fool.”

“Ah yea about that… “

‘What about it? Just sleep it off.”

“So… funny story! My fuzzy wuzzy beary pops actually did the whole arrangementing of beds thing.”

Wait.

Scott’s brain clicked up a gear from basic muscle memory to something resembling cognition.

“Gordon where is Virgil?!”

“He’s here!”

“Can I speak to him?”

“Um… noooooooooo”

There were several voices worth of giggling, none of which sounded like Virgil.

“Who’s with you? Where is Virgil?”

“Oh how rude of me over here we got…” There was a clatter and his brother’s voice faded out amongst some more distant giggling before Gordon returned, piercingly loudly:

“Stooopid floor. Anyways here we got Florrie, Alice and Alexi, say hi to Scooter ladies, he’s my biggest olderist bro and he’s even sexier than me and old dribbles here.”

A chorus of “Hi Scooter”

“Gordon! What’s wrong with Virgil?”

“You gotta say hi!”

“Gordon!!”

“You’re being rude! Say hi to the ladies!”

“Hi ladies” Scott muttered.

“NICELY!”

Scott knew an immovable squid wall when he heard it. Fine. He turned up the charm, and the volume, to max.

“Hello ladies!”

“Owie! Geez bro.”

“Virgil, Gordon?!”

“Yeah he’s pretty handsome. Look… see? He was on front’ve Vogue that one time. Still single too! Sure I can give you his number…”

“GORDON!!”

“Heeeeeeeeey bro. Love you bro. Love all the bros. Specially the grumpy turtle one.”

Scott tried another tack

“I love you too squid, but what happened to the grumpy turtle one?”

“Hezzzz a snooooozy liddle turtle.”

“So he’s in bed?”

“Nooo I toldja he’s here. Say hi Virgie.”

Silence.

“Awww he droolin’”

Scott was beginning to join the dots here.

“Gordon, please tell me Virgil wasn’t trying to match you?”

“I can one hunderb percival tell you that.”

“Would it be true?”

A pause and a definite snort in the background.

“Noooooooooooooooo”

Oh no.

If he’d consumed enough to make Gordon tipsy, there was no way Gordon and three women were going to be able to move the bear. He thought Virgil knew better.

Scott got up and put his trousers on. He could get to Brisbane in a few minutes in One…

There was more giggling and a deep bellowing laugh followed by a grunt.

“Omigosh I’m sorry I can help… gimme his arm… oopsy tha’s ‘is leg.”

More rustling noises.

“Oh I am sooooo bad manners! Scotty you gonna say hola to Juan too, he’s helping.”

“Hola Juan. Gordon, where are you? Do I need to come get you?”

“Naaaaw we goddim Scooteywoo”

“Then why are you calling Squid?”

“Need the bed place.”

“I don’t know where he booked Gords! Stay put I’ll come and get you.”

“Nawwwww I wanna take him to the art tom… tom… tomorning. Art ‘n waffles…. I pinky promised the Virg!”

Scott rested his head against the wall and counted to ten.

“What do you need Gordon?”

“T’get in his phone! I dunno his pass-thing! Need to find the resersermmmnn”

Scott did know it There were a million and one reasons why Gordon did not.

But he could either spill the beans now and take the consequences later, or head out to find them just in time for one or both of them to be sick on his shoes. Or in One. He shivered. No option really.

“Gordon you have to promise not to do anything bad with Virgil’s phone.”

“Yeah yeah I’m a good fishy”

“Gordon, pinky promise me.”

There was a tut and Scott could almost hear the eyeroll.

“I can’t reach your pinky to promise!”

“Fine. Pinky promise Juan then.”

Gordon did a stage whisper

“He doesn’ know a huge lodda English Scoobydoo.”

“Ok err” Scott racked his brains “could you put um, Alex was it? On the phone?”

Gordon huffed.

Rustling.

“Well hello there, handsome, this is Alexi.”

Pushing down the desire to bring about Gordon’s imminent demise, Scott had a sudden brainwave and put the charming voice on again. Yes, giving a total stranger access to his brother’s phone was a risk but less of one than allowing Gordon unfettered access without the security of a pinky promise - generally accepted to be the only law he considered himself bound by.

“Alexi listen carefully, I’m going to give you the passcode. Could you use it to find the reservation then lock the phone again please?”

“Sure, honey.” The reply was breathy. Intimidatingly breathy.

“Ok, you ready?”

“I’m all yours”

Shudder.

“Exclamation mark, eight, one, zero, zero, capital D, lower case Y, exclamation mark; capital F, one, five, lower case H, exclamation mark.”

“Ok honey that worked, I’m in. I’ll get your brothers to their hotel. I’ll leave my number on your brother’s phone just in case you need it later, ok?” She was essentially purring now.

“Oh that won’t be…” Scott paused. He needed all the allies he could get here.

He cleared his throat “That would be lovely, thank you for your help Alexi.”

There was a shriek and more unmistakable giggling as Scott hung up with a wry smile before collapsing back on to his bed and closing his eyes. Good luck Juan and co.

Aa he drifted off he considered how it was a shame Virgil would have to change that one tomorrow.

It was so apt.

💚💛💚💛💚💛💚💛💚💛💚💛💚💛💚💛

[pebblysand]

hello! you may find the entire playlist on spotify here. below is some more information on my song choices for part one.

<LINK TO PART TWO> <LINK TO PART THREE>

.

Castle by Eminem: if you have finished the fic, you will understand. if you haven't, i don't want to spoil you :).

Things We Lost In The Fire by Bastille: it's funny, i'm a massive bastille fan but it didn't really hit me how castles that song is until i went to see them live last summer. i remember being in the crowd and thinking to myself: god this is so on point. i think the lyric that gets me most is: the future's in our hands and we will never be the same again. there's such a dichotomy to that and it's so representative of what is happening in this chapter, which is harry and the trio sort of reconning with the concept of time and the post-war state of things and: now what? the excitement of: we survived and the future's in our hands, but also we'll never be the same again because we lost all these things (people) in the fire (war). i just find it very apt.

O Children by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds: firstly, i love that song, i thing it's beautiful and it just nails that post-war tone of the early chapters. the cleaners are coming one by one, they measure the room, they know the score, etc. secondly, this is obviously the harry& hermione song, which is a massive vibe and plot point of this chapter. i will defend the dance to my dying day, i think it's one of the most beautiful scenes in the whole film and those who don't like it because of the harmony vibes are wrong. that's it 😅.

UNHEALTHY by Anne-Marie: this is a more recent addition, but doesn't this song kind of have early harry/ginny vibes? i'll let you listen and be the judge.

Wonderwall by Oasis: harry mentions oasis in this chapter, so of course i had to add this. i have listened to this song so much in the past 20 years, i can't even tell if i like it or not. anyway, here's wonderwall 😅.

Pompeii by Bastille: ah. the infamous break down of everything. as i've already said, absolutely love bastille, and this one is a classic.

Shadow Preachers by Zella Day: i added this one more recently but i feel like it also had very strong early harry/ginny vibes. i also like that it sounds a bit similar-ish to pompeii in that sort of break down of everything vibe. there's a sort of desperation to that song that i feel really fits well.

Place de la République by Coeur de Pirate: firstly, if you think of coeur de pirate as comme des enfants and don't know anything else from her, i am begging you to open to your heart to her other songs/albums, she's incredible. secondly, i've always loved this song. it so well captures this sort of regretful break up situation where she is breaking up with someone because of distance and giving them one last chance to show up and they don't. i feel like it's very much a ginny song in chapter 3, this way she doesn't really want to break up with harry but has to. it's just 😫.

Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi: i've gone back and forth a lot on this song, whether to include it or not. it's almost Too Much. but, also, harry is a bit Too Much in this, so it just fits.

Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths: this is... very literal, i don't think i need to explain. i will say, for a very long time, i didn't know where the french bits were from. it sounded like some sort of documentary about suicide, which i thought was odd, but it's actually a reading of the myth of sisyphus by albert camus. i've never read it because i've only ever read camus's fiction, but he is one of my favourite french authors, so i was happy to find that out. it works with the song incredibly well, obviously.

Hell or Highwater by Passenger: we're back with the break up songs. i love this one because it very much is about the confusion and the not knowing what caused the break up, which i think is very fitting for harry, here. i also just love the writing in this song, the way he uses the "hell or highwater" saying in a different way - it's a song i very much love, even outside of castles.

Six Degrees of Separation by The Script: idk, this song has such strong 2000s vibes, and it's so break-up-y dramatic - it just fits, you know? 😅.

Giants by Dermot Kennedy: this playlist supports irish artists! ✊🏻 jokes aside, i kind of see this song as having a bit of a double-meaning here. like, of course, it's hinny break up song and plays - again - to that lack of understanding (we used to be giants, when did we stop?) but i also see it as reflective of harry's broader state of mind. it's this post-war confusion of: we used to do these great, important things, and what is our purpose, now? obviously, this first arc is very much about finding a reason to live after the war, so i feel like this song works for both plotlines.

As It Was by Harry Styles: i'm not a massive harry styles fan so the first time i ever heard this song was when he was on tour and the 'LEAVE AMERICA' trend was all over tiktok. and, i don't know, the moment i heard the song as a whole i was like, 'fuck, this is such a castles song!' especially of that early, post-war, confused era of: 'harry what are you doing sitting at home on the floor, what kind of pills are you on?' it just had to be in this playlist.

Fear of Fear by Passenger: this song is just a mood. i feel like it could play over a montage of the weeks passing in chapter four, and harry just going to work, trying to sleep, and going running in the night.

Le vent nous portera by Noir Désir: there's two reasons why this song is here. firstly, i feel like it signifies healing and the passage of time, which works very well with this chapter. it's a gorgeous song and has this idea of the wind just blowing the hardships away, an "it'll be alright" motto that i love. but also, what my international audience might not know is that this song is highly controversial - bertrand cantat, the lead singer of the band, beat his girlfriend - french actress marie trintignant - to death in 2003. he was arrested, went to jail - if you are french, just know that i'm not going to get into the Debate of whether he should still played/be listened to, etc. we all have our opinions and whichever way you're leaning i'm not going to change yours but i just wanted to note that i wouldn't have put this song in the playlist for any other chapter. but with the added theme of DV in the case giulia and harry work on here, i felt it was fitting.

Brave by Sara Bareilles: this is obviously giulia's pep-talk song haha! harry, get out of your rut, and be brave. i love it.

You're Not Special, Babe by Orla Gartland: i love this song. and, again, it's very giulia. i feel like both of these last songs for this chapter have this vibe of her telling harry to just get off his arse and do something, which is what he needed at that point. quit moping around, quit blaming yourself, you're not that special. it's really the kick off, onto chapter five.

Insomnia by Ren: ah, ren. if you've been following the playlist for a while, you will have noticed that i had a major ren moment between the end of 2023 and the start of 2024 and added, like, fifteen millions of his songs to the playlist. i feel like castles generally has such a ren "vibe" to it, which is wild because i didn't find him until well into writing the story. this song has this incredible line: i used to use drinking as a way to stop thinking and my problems with drinking made me feel like i was sinking, so i dried up my drinking and then i couldn't sleep a wink, and now i'm thinking, now i'm thinking, now i'm thinking, now i'm thinking about nothing. fucking nothing. and everything and nothing - i hate not sleeping. this is so on point for this chapter, which has harry's insomnia stalking those post-war months, and i absolutely love it.

The Last Unicorn by Passenger: ah, the first mia song 😫. my child. this is so scarily on point.

J'écoute du Miles Davis by Navii: this is really one of the core, OG castles songs as far as i'm concerned. i remember listening to it on loop very early on, writing the early chapters. i love the chorus of 'Et le temps passe' (and time passes) - it's this factual statement that i feel is very castles. "Time just - passes."

The Way I Am by Eminem: i was so mad to find out i couldn't use this song in text because it came out in 2001. obviously, very related to the press, fame, etc. which are topical for this chapter.

Dominoes by Ren: i added this one fairly recently. it's one of those songs that isn't precisely topical to the chapter itself, but i really liked the riff of "we fall like dominoes, dominoes, falling". it echoes that thing harry says about how he's afraid to fold because if the "leader" falls, then everyone comes cascading down. i felt like there's an interconnection in that song that resonates, here. and also, i think the thing about public perception and body shaming is also somewhat related to the treatment of girls in harry's life in the press.

Read All About It, Part III by Emili Sandé: i thought most people would already know this song because it was featured so prominently in the 2012 London Olympics, but i suppose it still didn't make it to america, 'cause i've had quite a few comments from people saying the playlist was the first time they'd heard it. anyway, it's obviously about harry using his voice and finally talking to the press, and it's amazing :).

Babylon by Barns Courtney: the vibes of this song feel like the fall of a civilisation and "the walls are caving in, you're paying for your sins" and... yeah. idk, i see this as the theme song to the whole battle scene at the lace mill.

What He Wrote by Laura Marling: this was always Giulia's "song" in my head, i'm not even sure why. it's got nothing to do with her but just based on vibes. i listened to this on loop writing her death. and, also, the connection with Peaky Blinders, which heavily inspired the first act of castles.

Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens: this is just... a beautiful song about death lol. how cheerful 😅.

All My Tears by Ane Brun: and... another one, lol. also, another connection to PB.

Jimmy by Moriarty: i only have two songs for this chapter, probably because it used to be paired with chapter six so i initially didn't think of it as an independent item. anyway, this is one of my favourite songs in the world, and it's recently come to my attention that it fit quite well in here, with this idea of "coming home" (to the burrow, in harry's case. i feel like it works well with the general mood of the chapter.

CORALINE by Måneskin: ah. coraline, coraline, di me la tua verita... this is the beginning of harry, and ginny, and the letters, really.

Zombie by The Cranberries: canonically, Mia is a fan and while two cranberries songs are mentioned in this chapter, i always felt like this one fit better. first, because it's about a civil war that, in many ways, resembled the wizarding war. second, because i've always sort of thought as amycus as a bit of a zombie. like, he's dead but he still plagues ginny (and later harry) with the things he's done and their ramifications.

Rather Die by Barns Courtney: obviously, i'm a massive fan of barns courtney and i've always felt this song is very ginny during the war. basically, 'i'd rather die than give in.'

Repeat After Me by KONGOS: this song is obviously about the absolutist christian faith and someone trying to escape it, but i think there's something so rhythmic about it. in my head, i could see it playing over a montage of the DA pulling off stunts, getting attacked, getting back up again, fighting again, losing again, etc. there's also the 'repeat after me' of indoctrination that could very much apply to the ministry's propaganda. i remember listening to this song so much as i was writing this chapter, just to remind myself of the relentless sort of pacing i wanted to achieve.

Dopamine by Barns Courtney: okay so. this is the song of this chapter. i know it feels like it's not really about this chapter (it's clearly about drug addiction) but you cannot possibly imagine the number of times i listened to it as i was writing. i don't know. i love everything about it. the loud rock and instrumentals, the production, the lyrics. if we end it all, at least you're by my side. we could never die. and this: it's always the same. see the drink couldn't wash out the taste of your name. i literally think it's one of my favourite songs ever, and one of my favourite sentences ever written. i think in my head it's a bit about ginny sinking, about amycus, about harry. about everything. i would say dopamine is probably one of the most important songs in this playlist. i am so attached to it.

Thirteen Thirtyfive by Dillon: and... the last song. i will say this: i have since learnt that this song is about a woman who has lost a child (either through miscarriage, abortion or death after birth, it's not clear) and is reminiscing about what her life could have been. that is... not how i initially interpreted it. you may listen and come to your own conclusions. if you interpret it like the above, maybe it fits with pansy's story. if you don't... well. you'd be thirteen, i'd be thirty-five, gone to find a place for us to hide. be together but alone, as the need for it has grown. make of that what you will.

[somatheking]

Seven Nights At Soma's

In which in a sci-fi AU, you're the new communications officer at the Beach, one of Hatter's luxury space cruises. As part of your training, every day you receive tapes from an old employee explaining the ins and outs of the ship. However, it's not long until things start to sound... off.

Disclaimer: I mention several canon AiB characters in this, but rest assured that they aren't based on anyone's portrayal of them, only on my own interpretation.

Day 1: Slate 1 - 15/09/2023

Good morning! Or good evening, or good night. I’m not sure when you’re hearing this tape but I hope you decided to listen to it first thing after you woke up, mainly because it’s gonna help you get through the day. 

First off, let me give you the obligatory greeting (I’m reading this from a card I’ve got right here, so don’t mind me if I sound too weird): 

Welcome to the Beach! Combining classic elegance and cutting-edge innovation, our space cruises offer the latest in comfort, gastronomy, innovation, entertainment and onboard experience. Our new and improved spaceships are also pushing the boundaries of sustainable tourism, by employing robotic assistants as personnel so as to focus on environmental well-being and minimising waste… 

Sorry, sorry, I had to cut that short because I’m starting to laugh. Assistants, more like ASS-istants, am I right? Haha, yeah, it’s a funny word.

Anyways, yeah, I’m supposed to give you a rundown on your new job, although it isn’t precisely new, is it? Hatter told me he was thinking of filling the vacancy with someone who already worked here, but since I’m the vacancy, I’m not sure whether he ended up doing that or he simply hired someone new. Still, I figured you’d need some help, so I made you these tapes. Seven, one per day, which would cover the amount of time we need to get out of the Milky Way and into another galaxy, and after that you’ll literally be on your own. Well, I’ve only just recorded the one, so maybe I’m here saying it’s gonna be seven but it ends up being three, I don’t know. I guess we’ll see! Man, I’m more excited about this than you probably are, haha. 

As I told you before, I’m the guy you’re replacing. I was actually the ship doctor, but the previous communications officer left, so I had to replace him. Doing both jobs and only getting paid for one, which is pretty rough, but hey, we gotta do what we gotta do. You know how in the Barbie movie, Ken’s job was ‘beach’? Well, mine is doctor and comms officer, haha. I was actually friends with the guy that left, and I imagine I must’ve spent so much time hanging out with him that Hatter thought some knowledge passed on to me. I have to say, this ship mostly runs itself, so I didn’t have much trouble. And you won’t either!

Anyways, yeah, let’s talk about the elephant in the room and get it over with. You’re on a cruise where the vast majority of personnel are robots. It’s more efficient that way; as I said in the presentation, ‘environmental well-being and minimising waste’. There’s so many I’m not even sure I know all their names, but to be honest, they’re not gonna bother you much. So, how about instead we run over some of the people you’ll be working with?

First off, since you’re a comms officer, you’ll sadly have to keep in touch with Chishiya, who’s in charge of logistics. He’s, excuse my French, a huge ass bitch. Yeah, that’ll make more sense when you meet him, but mark my words, you’re gonna hate the guy. I did, so it makes sense that you will too. I don’t wanna keep talking about him, so let’s move on.

Oh, these aren't employees but I figure you could say hello to them since they're pretty nice. Arisu and Usagi are this couple who've been together for what seems like forever and they're so cute. You can feel the love radiating from them, it's like they were made for each other. They are so, so sweet; talking to them always brightened up my day. Sometimes I got claustrophobic here, and when that happened I usually went to them to cheer up. They… I don't know, this might sound stupid, but they reminded me that there's more things to life other than a job. 

You also have Kuina, who is an absolute sweetheart. She’s head of security, but she’s always super willing to help out if you need anything and she isn’t busy. Fortunately for her, this is a pretty tranquil ship; problems rarely arise here, at least the violent types. There hasn’t been any fights breaking out in… months? Probably even longer, yeah. Between you and me, I think the passengers are scared of doing something illegal in the presence of robots. They think they’re gonna bug out or something and accidentally kill them. Boy, Five Nights At Freddy’s really did a number on you all, huh? But yeah, Kuina. She trains once every three days, which means you'll get to see her. I recommend you go talk to her, but be careful not to bother her while she's training! Talking to her impacted me a lot, made me consider a lot of things about my life, plus, she’s very welcoming and one of the best people here. A literal ray of sunshine. 

Oh, God, it sounds like I have a crush, doesn’t it? Haha, no, no, it’s not like that. Well… no, not really. Now you’ve got me flustered, though. I guess I’m ending the tape here, then. I’ll see you tomorrow!

[eirian-houpe]

Monday... Menu?

Hi all.

The astute among you will have noticed I've mostly been away. Well... now I'm back, and I want to try and do things a little differently around here. This is, I guess the TL:DR version of what I'm about to write, some of which will be under a cut I suspect, because it's kind of long.

Be patient with me though.

At the end of August in 2023, the new school year started, and as a Special Education teacher, it's aways a bit of an insane time. I work at a very large high school, and out department should have had seven teachers. We had four. We were understaffed, scrambling to cover the classes for the missing teachers, and basically drowning in the new referrals - even MORE students showing up with special educational needs.

Add in to that mix my own neurodiversity, mental health needs, and a very busy home life, and something had to give. I was coming home stressed, exhausted, totally triggered almost 100% of the time. I literally didn't have the spoons to created content - especially not as it was all largely ignored anyway, only adding to my sense, rightly or wrongly, of failure.

No, I'm not being bitter or calling anyone out, just telling it like it is, and the result of all that was I didn't have the time or energy to be fully present here like I wanted. I pottered, I reblogged, but rare was the occasion when I actually wrote anything of worth.

But I miss my communities, and I miss being here, and now we're coming to the last quarter of a nutso school year, I'm feeling I might have a little more time and energy to jump back in.

However, some things have changed, and I want to reflect the new/old me in a way that is more authentic. so here are some of the things I came up with this afternoon that you might see appearing on this blog in the coming days and weeks.

Monday: The Monday Menu: what it says on the box. A plan for the week Monday Mmmm: There won’t always be one of these, just when something troubling or interesting crosses my path. Mental Health Monday: Post related to mental health Monday Meditation: A link to a meditation or guided meditation - maybe even sometimes by me. Morrigan's Monday: The Morrigan is my Matron Goddess, and I might sometimes share insights She gives to me.

Tuesday: TMI Tuesday: Ask me anything, it can be about fic, life, spirituality, whatever you'd like. Teaser Tuesday: Where I share something I've been working on Teaching (Tales) Tuesday: A story that teaches something that has crossed my path. Tolkien Tuesday: where I share something Tolkien related.

Wednesday: WIP Wednesday: News about by Works in Progress - fic and non fic alike. Whacky Wednesday: Something weird, funny or otherwise strange. Warrior Wednesday: Something fierce, powerful, not necessarily feminist but definitely a self advocacy thing. Wellness Wednesday: Where I share something related to physical, mental, emotional or spiritual health.

Thursday: Three Things Thursday: Where I share three things about a fic of anyone's choice, just send me an ask. Thoughts on Thursday: Random thoughts or rabbit holes I may or may not have fallen down.

Friday: Final Line Friday: Where I share things, and a final line of something I've written that week. Fandom Friday: Sharing something about one of my fandoms From Gwydion's Vault: Gwydion is my Patron God. In these posts I'll share some kind of wisdom or message I have received from Him.

Saturday: Saturday Secret: Where I share something from backstory, or some kind of secret about one of my WIPs Spiritual Saturday: A post based in spirituality - mine is Wicca.

Sunday: Seven Sentence Sunday: Where I share seven sentences from something I have written that week. Shifting Shape: Something transformative, either that I've written or that I've read, or otherwise come across in my journey that week.

Not everything will happen every week. Just this is a way to keep things fresh and interesting, to encourage me to write and share something each day.

Let me know in comments or reblogs if there's anything else you'd like to see me post.

[magicalbuffalotransformerman]

[the base lost power LMAO. the guys r fine though. their eyes (and footmuncher's (cock and) thighs) glow in the dark. anyway]

[rocketjumper is swirling energon around in a cube. she's developed a liking to a spicy flavor.]

[bonecrusher is sitting right next to rocketjumper, cradling footmuncher in his arms for good luck.]

[patchwork is outside in the freezing blizzard working his magic alongside groundrumbler.]

[nebula is in orbit. she's watching PW & GR work their magic. she spots a blue light off in the distance, and focuses in on that to see what autobot it is.]

[pov shift to kitchen gang.]

FM: this is just like the trenches. primus. so serene in sheer darkness.

BC: i hope one of the fuses hadn't went. rockie, how long did you say your internal heating system could last for?

RJ: it's an emergency system, i think. three day battery at full charge. or did you mean the things patchie surgically bestowed upon me?

BC: yeah, the things patchwork installed into you. how long do those go for?

RJ: about two weeks at a time. runs on my energy though, so if i run out i'm gonna need an e.s.s. revive.

BC: mmm.

FM: should get a better fuel source. don't wanna die cuz u wanna keep warm.

RJ: that's what i told patchie. he said he didn't have any better models in storage, and he also said he didn't want me 'butt-chugging oil to keep warm' with the older ones. which... not a pleasant image.

BC: ...yeah, no, that sounds unsafe.

FM: as unsafe as eating organs?

BC: a little less sanitary, i think. but yeah.

RJ: wat? how is eating organs more sanitary than butt chugging fossil fuels?

BC: fossil fuels smell horrible. guts don't smell earthy. also, guts feel nice.

FM: i know one organ that definitely feels nice.

RJ, BC, FM: [collective giggling]

= [pov shift: the engineering team.] =

GR: why is this so intricate in the first place, patch?

PW: i don't like it when bots fuck with my power. if someone - primus forbid a patient - fucks with my power, i'm putting them on my table for emergency surgery.

GR: hah. nice. i'm the same way with my privacy bubble. hey, speaking of which, am i still asexual if i wanna interface?

PW: i... need to do more research on that. pass a fuse?

GR: oh, y-

N: hey, ground team, there's a blue light heading towards the base. the bot seems relatively tall, could be a maz model vehicle mode.

GR: now, who do we know that has a maz variant for a vehicle mode?

N: very funny, rumbles. i'll keep watching the light, you just work on the power generator. over.

PW: thank you for the report, nebula. over 'n' out.

GR: ...which wrench should i use on the rings?

PW: i believe the... the clamp wrench should be good for the rings. if you can get a good angle and enough leverage on each nut, at least.

GR: alright. let's see... [clamp.]

= [pov switch: the kitchen gang.] =

[bonecrusher left to go investigate a noise. he'll be back soon.]

RJ: -it... glows in the dark when you're horny.

FM: hegehee,,, yeah.

RJ: you think it'll glow in my mouth?

FM: probably? you wanna test that hypothesis right now?

RJ: of course i do. just wanna check on nebula real quick, see how she's doing.

FM: alright.

[rocketjumper tunes into the comms.]

RJ: rocketjumper to nebula, how's it going up there?

N: good! there's an autobot coming close to the base and they seem friendly. kinda looks like cake.

RJ: oh, that's nice. thanks for letting me know, nebbs.

N: you're welcome. gonna keep watch on the engineers, see you soon.

RJ: see you soon.~ [she tunes out of the comms.]

FM: so? what did she say?

RJ: autobot incomin'. she says it might be cake.

FM: [very quick gasp] two rocketjumpers !!

RJ: [deep giggle.] anyway, hypothesis time. [she flips footmuncher upside down, gulping his tentacle-y cock down like it's nothin'.]

FM: [very soft moan...] oh, hey, it does glow in your mouth! that's pretty sweet.

RJ: gghuh du nnoe. [she flips footmuncher around again.] (good to know.)

[bonecrusher appears from the hallway, taking his seat back.]

BC: heyy, fellas. nice glow-in-the-dark cock, munchbutt.

FM: thank you,,,

[rocketjumper hands footmuncher to bonecrusher.]

RJ: any idea what the noise was?

BC: meh. looked like a pipe bursted, so i ripped it out and fixed it.

RJ: huh. wonder why it broke... cool to know. speaking of:

FM: cake's coming to visitttt

BC: oh, amazing! she'll be able to see katyusha today, i think, if she's awake.

FM: THREEROCKETJUMPERRRSSSSSSSSSS

RJ: [impotent giggles]!!!

BC: primus, dude, what is your obsession with rocketjumper and her lookalikes?

FM: i want to be sandwiched inbetween all three of them at the same time.

BC: ...me too.

= [pov switch: the engineering team] =

GR: -STUPID FUCKING GENERATOR!! FUCK! OWWW!!!

PW: i TOLD you not to touch the fuses already in the generator, groundrumbler!

GR: GRGGHRHGHGHHGRGHHGHGHGRGRGRGHR-

PW: [sigh]. just stick your hand in the snow, it'll be fine.

GR: ow... fuck. sorry. now what?

PW: should just be... closing up the generator and letting it work its magic.

GR: ...seems easy enough.

[slow stomping coming closer from off in the distance]

PW: huh. i think that's the autobot nebula was talking about.

GR: didn't someone say her name was cake? are you having plot blocks?

PW: ...oh yeah, cake. i remember hearing her talk one day while i was workin' on sketching tricky down in my little work-note-book.

GR: yeah, there you go. you think she has any beef?

PW: should be fine.

GR: mmm. gen's fixed. let's head back inside before our joints freeze solid.

PW: really? i was starting to get used to the snow! [/s]

GR: move it, asshat.

[patchwork giggles to himself, and climbs down from the roof, allowing groundrumbler to do so himself. as he does, patchwork catches him in his arms, walking into the base with groundrumbler in tow.]

[Cake catches up and gets her hand under the door before it has a chance to close.]

PW: greetings, gentlemen. rocketjumper.

RJ: 'ello there, doc.

[Cake opens the door -- though damaging its systems in the process - whoops --- and allows herself inside.]

Cake, a little winded: Primus. Hi. Heard there was someone new over here. Wanted to get here as soon as I could. How's it going?

RJ: it's uhhhhh... good. you okay there?

Cake: Me? Totally. Nothing happened.

FM: ...cake, why are you bleeding?

Cake: Someone got grumpy. That's all. Okbye [She rushes into Patchwork's office.]

PW: ...[looks over to bonecrusher]

BC: [gaze switching between patchwork and the hallway]

RJ: ...uhm. patch, you should... you should go check on her, i think.

GR, to himself: why is everything going wrong today?

[patchwork drops groundrumbler onto the floor, running into his office and locking the door.]

GR: [sigh]. [he gets onto his feet.] well. no one tell katyusha, and everything will be fine.

FM: why aren't you at least suspicious??

GR: too cold to be suspicious. i need a nap. enjoy worrying for cake, lads. [he heads down to his room.]

RJ: ...

BC: [he tunes into the comms.] did you get all that?

N: i'm surveying the continent for hostiles as we speak.

BC: thank you nebula. if the hostile's a popular character, alert me. if otherwise-

N: blast them into shittereens?

BC: you got it. bonecrusher out. [he tunes out of the comms.] now, uhm... anyone for a movie?

FM: i think i wanna go check on rumbles. he's not that uncaring, right?

BC: ...mmm... no, i don't assume so. go check on him.

[footmuncher hops out of bonecrusher's arms, trotting down the hallway.]

RJ: so... today's weird. why's...

BC: y'know what i think that it's just the paranoia sneaking in. how do you suppose we should get our minds off it?

RJ: you suggested a movie. any good ones in mind?

BC, getting out of his seat: i'm quite curious about there will be blood. see you in bed. [he rolls down the hallway.]

RJ: mhm... [she gets out of her seat as well, grabbing some snacks from the fridge and joining bonecrusher.]

================================================ ================-[ some time later. ]-================= ================================================

[bonecrusher is falling asleep in rocketjumper's already unconscious arms. nebula sends a ping through the comms, and bonecrusher answers.]

BC: ...yes?

N: you have a problem.

BC: what's their name?

N: (TFP!)megatron.

BC, immediately filled with rage: [growl.] checking the front door. [he tunes out of the comms. he shakes his wife.]

RJ: ...mmgh.. what?

BC: get katyusha in with patchwork and cake. someone's at the door and i think he's angry.

RJ: affirmative. [she rolls out of the bed, heading right out of the bedroom door.]

[bonecrusher heads left, knocking on patchwork's office door.]

[the door creaks open.] PW: hey, bonecru-

BC: rocketjumper and katyusha are coming in. don't answer the door for anyone else.

PW: why?

BC, raising his eyebrows: why else?

PW: ...megs. right. you can trust me.

[bonecrusher nods, heading to the bunker door.]

BC: ...wait.

[bonecrusher rolls to marrowbomber's room, knocking on the door. the door opens.]

MB: whaddaya need?

BC: megs is here. need you to prep incase he gets violent.

MB: mmm. i got your back.

BC: good.

[bonecrusher rolls once again to the bunker door. marrowbomber closes his bedroom door.]

BC: [he tunes into the comms.] where is he?

N: 20 meters from the front door.

BC: preparing to attack?

N: negative.

BC: thank you. prepare to blast him incase he gets aggressive.

N: you got it. nebs out.

[bonecrusher rubs his hands, hopping up and down in place, psyching himself up to meet megatron. in the hallway, patchwork is letting katyusha and rocketjumper into his office, and once he closes the door, he can be heard barricading it.]

BC: ...alright. megatron awaits.

[the bunker door opens almost aggravatingly slowly, revealing the sharp set of toes that've likely stomped many a helm, balled-up fists filled with bloodlust, and the mountainous, spiky pauldrons of everyone's favorite space meth addict, tfp!megatron.] (which... i'm not sure whether to type his dialogue in autobot or decepticon stylized text... well, he's pretty important. he gets autobot text for now.)

TFP!Megatron: Ahh, the Claw of ('07!)Megatron. How's the cannibalism situation going, my friend?

BC: fairly well. how's the dark energon addiction?

TFP!Megtron: I regret to inform you I'm not capable of shaking it yet. In the future, I'm sure I can get a lowly bot to assist me in such a matter, but for today, I have... different... intentions.

BC: [his mining claw twitches.] mmm. shall we discuss them in the kitchen?

TFP!Megatron: If you so wish.

[Megatron scans the environment as he enters Bonecrusher's base of operations. It all seems... very... what's the word? Unnatural. Megs hadn't seen any other bases stylized in such a human manner, especially not from a Decepticon who despises humans such as Bonecrusher does. For starters, the 'kitchen'... what is the purpose of the monument in the center? And the mettalic, cold box in the far corner? His optics slide over to the "living" "room" as he and his thunderous feet venture over to the kitchen. A monitor, coal in color, reflective in nature, and an unusually soft and long throne. The throne has an unusual pattern adorned upon the back. To add to that, no hand-rails like Optimus' hideout in Nevada. Megatron raises an eyebrow, and he feels Bonecrusher's own optics analyzing his every move. He's out of his element within this building.]

[bonecrusher knows this, and he's comforted by the thought. if only a little bit.]

[Megatron takes his place upon an unusually-shaped seat that looks like something he would place a hapless victim upon for torturing.] (in this house we adore extending sentences as much as possible)

BC: [he takes a seat across from megatron.] so, then. what're you visiting for, megatron?

TFP!Megatron: Oh, nothing special... I simply had a falling out with one of your co-horts and wished to take it up with you. Tell me, Bonecrusher, has your conjunx ever considered betrayal?

BC: [tch. no one's told megatron about rocketjumper's lookalikes yet, hmm? great. just wonderful. welp. here we go.] megatron, my conjunx -- my wife. -- would never consider betrayal unless it were forced upon her. she is loyal to the decepticon cause, and she always has been. there is nothing, at all, that can dissuade her from turning to another side.

TFP!Megatron: [He quietly snarls. Bonecrusher's lying? To his face? What incompetence.] Then why, may I ask, have I seen her adorning an Autobot insignia upon her carapace?

BC: [he attempts to lead megatron on to the idea of there being more than one rocketjumper.] tell me, megatron... was she white in color?

TFP!Megatron: [He hadn't considered that. He simply saw what looked to be betrayal, and fired upon her. How outrageous for Bonecrusher to assume that he could be wrong! Megatron asserts himself, launching out of his chair.] White in...? What sort of question is that?! The color of one's armor does not matter if they are on the enemy team, Bonecrusher, surely you must know this! How long have you been out of battle for?! That must be messing with your processor to assume that such details are worth thinking of!

BC: [bonecrusher ALMOST loses his temper as well. megatron... oh the space meth must've fucked with his own processor.] megatron, calm yourself. such details are of course important, especially if you fire upon the wrong rocketjumper. let me explain it to you in terms that you can actually understand.

[bonecrusher's mining claw forces megatron back down into his seat, as he climbs onto the kitchen island, stomps across it, and gets in megatron's face. stabbing three fingers into his cheek for good measure.]

TFP!Megatron: GET Y-

BC: [fuck it.] YOU WILL COOL YOUR JETS, MEGATRON OF KAON, ELSE YOU WILL BECOME MY NEXT MEAL. YOU WILL NOT RAISE YOUR VOICE AGAIN WITHIN THE WALLS OF MY BASE. YOU WILL CEASE TO KEEP UP YOUR REPUTATION, ELSE YOU WILL BE OFFLINED WITHIN THE SECOND. DO YOU COMPLY?! [his voice echoes across antarctica, let alone his own base.]

TFP!Megatron: [...Megatron hadn't had the fear of Primus stricken into him from anyone, aside from Bumblebee and his first gladitorial duel, such like Bonecrusher was able to. He doesn't understand how he'd done it... and yet, he feels as if he must comply. He ceases his resistance, adjusting in his seat accordingly. ...Also, his face hurts now.] Yes. I apologize. It was foolish of me to assume such incompetence of you, Bonecrusher. Now, ahem... explain to me why I'm wrong in attacking an enemy, if you so please.

BC: [...huh... uhm. he wasn't confident that that would work. well. good. alright. he takes a seat on the kitchen island.] good. good. i'm assuming here that the other megatrons hadn't bothered to explain to you how lookalikes work. i'm sure you must know how they work from the insecticons, as well as skyquake and dreadwing, correct?

TFP!Megatron: [He nods.] Correct.

BC: alright. are you aware that my wife, rocketjumper, also has lookalikes?

TFP!Megatron: [He realizes his mistake. Disappointment washes over his frame, as he holds his head in his hands. After a moment, he raises his helm up to face Bonecrusher again.] ...It had not occured to me, no.

BC: [there we go.] you have shot such a lookalike. her name is cake, if you hadn't known that either. i say again, rocketjumper has not and will not -- EVER -- betray the decepticon cause. cake has never had a taste of the cause. there exist two other lookalikes, as well. would you like to hear the details of all three, or would you like to exit my base and never enter again?

TFP!Megatron: I would like to hear of the details of these lookalikes.

BC: as you wish. [he whips out a clipboard, with some sheets of paper on it.] for the first lookalike, cake. she is an amicable, polite femme, equipped with ion blasters, similar to those of your nemesis optimus prime, as well as armblades near-identical to my own wife. her armor comes in white camouflage paint, ice blue eyes, and cubic, blocky shaping. i feel as if she doesn't wish to meet with you, however, due to your fire-on-sight policy.

[bonecrusher flips the first paper.]

BC: the second lookalike is a femme more similar to rocketjumper than that of cake: for the longest time, we've known her as 'autobot rocketjumper' due to her being my own wife, but twisted and molded into a weapon by that of my own nemesis, who also happens to be an optimus prime. we've donned her with the new name of 'katyusha', however, and we hope you call her katyusha as well. now, her armor is a shade away from my wife, and it is -- i kid you not -- riddled with scars, bruises, and injuries beyond reason. if she was an astronomical object, she'd be an asteroid with all of the marks on her frame. it's horrifying how horrible her treatment was, i believe.

[he flips the second paper.]

TFP!Megatron: How does Katyusha think of me, do you think, Bonecrusher?

BC: not well. i've warned her of your reputation. she doesn't like you.

TFP!Megatron: ah. :(

BC: now for the third lookalike... which might as well be a new character with the pain she's been through so far. we've not adorned her with a nickname yet, but right now we're calling her abomination in search for something less mean. this version of rocketjumper -- which i want to say, she and katyusha are alternative universe versions of rocketjumper. sorry for the confusion. -- was on an energon run that went astronomically horrible for her. i'm... not going to discuss what she had to do to survive the bombing that she underwent. just know that she's bulkier than the other two lookalikes, as well as my wife.

TFP!Megatron: [He notices that Bonecrusher's been calling Rocketjumper a different term... a 'wife'. What is that...?] Heh... I have an offtopic detail I'd like to bring up.

BC: go ahead.

TFP!Megatron: Why are you calling Rocketjumper your... 'wife'?

BC: well, i've got more than one conjunx.

TFP!Megatron, perplexed: what.

BC: i have two - working on a third - conjunxes. rocketjumper is my first and my wife, footmuncher is my second as well as my husband, and i've noticed that bunkerbuster seem to be... a bit attracted to me beyond the usual sexual feelings. i think i might talk to him after tonight.

TFP!Megatron: ...Okay. Mmm. I believe I need to recharge. [He gets out of his seat, approaching the bunker door.] Bonecrusher, I would like to ask if you'd let me in another time in the future, possibly to meet these lookalikes.

BC: just as long as your promise not to raise your voice.

TFP!Megatron: [He nods.] I promise.

BC: [he nods in return.] get out of my base.

[Megatron does so, transforming and flying off into the distance.]

[the bunker door closes automatically.]

[bonecrusher reaches for a drink from the energon cupboard, wondering how he managed to make megatron behave. maybe he dug his claws too deep. he giggles to himself, sipping a cube of strawberry flavored energon.]

N: ...huh.

[bonecrusher jumps off of the kitchen island, scrambling to get off of the floor.]

BC: jesus christ, nebula, at least warn me before you hop in.

N: [giggle.] sorry, bonecrusher. how the hell'd you calm megatron down like that?

BC: ...i blame plot magic.

[bonecrusher and nebula share a laugh.]

BC: go tell patchwork and everyone else that we're good. i'm gonna clean myself off.

N: oh, you- whoops! sorry about your energon, boss.

BC: don't worry about it... and don't call me boss. feels uncomfy, idk.

N: alright. have a good time, bonecrusher. i'm going to... take a nap on the couch, i believe.

BC: sweet dreams, nebula.

N: and you have a nice shower.

[bonecrusher heads down to the bathroom. nebula knocks on patchwork's office door to let him know that everything's fine, then going off to the couch to take a nap.]

[phoenixyfriend]

Rey Gives No F*cks About the Grandfather Paradox

Okay so since nobody’s suggested a fic under these terms, I ended up expanding on this post on discord and things snowballed. We kept to the basics of the entire plot revolving around Rey really hating her grandad and leveraging her blood relation to not be unalived about it.

With contributions by @atagotiak​, @dracothulhu​, @thepallaspalace​, and several others. The title comes from @gelpenss​.

The basic thing I absolutely need is this: Rey gets thrown back to the middle of the clone wars, and the subsequent plot leans in really heavily on her being, genetically-via-clone-dad, the daughter of the guy running the entire galaxy.

Nobody knows what to do with her.

The timing is mid-TCW for the past (because I want Ahsoka there) and vaguely between Episodes 8 and 9 because I... never watched E9 and don’t want to worry about the timeline. The only things that matter is that Luke is dead (he can die as he did in canon) and that Rey knows she’s Palp’s granddaughter (not the way she does in canon).

We'll say Luke found out from Anakin's panicked force-ghost and just went "well, fuck, okay, I should tell her this before she ends up in a situation like mine and finds out mid-battle or something."

Luke, prior to time-travel: Okay, so, now that I'm dead I know some things I didn't before. Like who your parents were. In the interest of full disclosure because I was in a very similar situation and I don't want you learning the way I did, I'm just going to come right out and say that your father was a clone was Sheev Palpatine. Rey: ... Luke: Are you okay? Rey: I don't know who that is.

(She grew up on Jakku, the history education was a little subpar.)

Setting The Scene

Imagine Rey showing up during or immediately before the clone wars. There’s this phenomenally powerful feral teenager from a desert backwater who tells you that if you ran a paternity test, it would probably pop up the Chancellor. She may or may not bring up cloning. She accuses said Chancellor of being a Sith Lord.

Your other phenomenally powerful feral teenager from a desert backwater, who may not be a teenager anymore but only barely, is very offended by this because Palpatine’s a Very Nice Old Grandfather Figure, but also he’s a little full of side-eye because if the blood test comes back as proof, then Palpatine had a kid and didn’t even know about them, or lied to Anakin, and that’s! Bad! Family’s important!!!

Palpatine hears about this daughter he apparently? Has? And is very confused because the timing doesn’t match up with ANYTHING he was doing, so the kid isn’t natural, and he says as much. (There is an explanation! It’s not a correct explanation, but he does come up with one.)

Finn and Poe and BB-8 all get dragged along because why not have the gang there? Nobody that’s already born, because [handwave] conservation of souls or something, IDK, point is the only person dragged along that’s even remotely close to already existing is Luke’s Force Ghost, who mostly hangs around begging Rey to be less impulsive. Finn is good because he is a nice polite boy, but for actual useful information they need Poe. The unfortunate situation is that the three do not land together. They land at the same time, in completely different corners of the galaxy. This means that nobody is there to curb Rey being her most impulsive self.

Time travel Rey knows two things. Luke’s dad ends up evil. Palpatine has always been evil.

She can solve one of these problems by killing the other, yes?

Rey: Ready to Rumble

See, the initial idea was this: Rey tried to break into the senate to kill Palpatine, got arrested, and then used the "he's biologically my father" card to get out of jail free. (Force Ghost Luke follows her like “please take five seconds to think this through.”)

But.

But.

It would be very, very, very funny if The Force just dumps her in a flash of light in the senate building and she just attacks Gramps on sight. Just a shouted "YOU!" and no-hesitation attempted murder.

Palpatine has no idea what's going on.

Rey took maybe two seconds to get identity confirmation and then started swinging.

[Image Description: An individual in a green metal helmet with an eye slit, holding a pistol. In the upper left, upper right, and lower middle are the phrases “I do not know who I am...” “I don’t know why I’m here” and “All I know is that I must kill.” End description.]

Of course, she gets arrested. There are Master Jedi in the Senate. There are Clone Troopers. Palpatine isn’t the weak old man he pretends to be. Of course she’s stopped.

But she isn’t executed in time for Palpatine to stop her from ruining his entire reputation.

Immediately after Rey fails to kill her Shitty Granddad, Luke's ghost shows up and begs her to not talk about the Sith thing because it will completely undermine everything she's trying to do. Pass off the attempted murder as something else!

Rey, panicking: "that fucker left me on a desert planet for 10 years!" "You owe me 19 years of child support you son of a Hutt!"

The Jedi have to do the investigation, because the girl showed up with a laser sword, and the conversation is, uh... interesting. (“Where did you get that lightsaber?” “I got it from a mysterious old pirate lady I never met before. I don't know, I was being shown around by a smuggler and a Wookie.”)

Interviewer: Why did you try to assassinate the Chancellor? Luke: Say it wasn't assassination. Rey: It wasn't assassination. Int: You weren't trying to kill him? Luke: Assassination has to be politically motivated. Rey: This was, um... not political. Assassination is political, right? Int: You mean this was personally motivated? Rey: Yes. Int: I see. What personal motivation? Luke: Jakku! Rey: He's my grandfather. Int: ... Rey: Possibly father. Nobody was very clear on that. Int: ... Luke: Tell them to run a paternity test. Rey: Oh hey, a blood test would tell us which, right? Int: ............ Rey: I spent ten years as an orphaned scrapdealer on Jakku. He's my father. I'm kind of a little angry. Int: ........... Luke: Good job, kid. You bought yourself some time. Int: I'm going to get a medic to see about that parternity test.

Obviously, it comes back positive. Congratulations, Sheev, you’re the father.

Rey comes with a ready-made built-in excuse for hating Palpatine that nobody can question or fault her for!

Rey, pouring Truth into the Force: I didn't even know I was related to the Chancellor until a few months ago, but it's his fault I grew up the way I did, and he should take some responsibility!

The entire thing is mostly kept hush hush but someone leaks it to the press and Palpatine's ratings tank.

"Chancellor, I think we'll need to waive family visitation until she wants you a little less dead." "I would like to find out why she wants me dead, and indeed, where she came from." "...sir, for your own safety--"

Who would win? A master plan years in the making spanning decades of manipulating and work? or One (1) paternity test

"Okay, so, Rey Palpat--" "Ew, no, I don't want his name." "You--okay. Sure, we can understand that. Is there a name you would prefer to put on the paperwork?" Rey, who would have gone by Skywalker in honor of Luke but can't do that when Anakin is right there and all: "Can I think about it?"

Rey: I don't know what I want my last name to be but I know I don't want his, and most of the people I’d want a name from have famous families like you... Luke's ghost, pointing out the Literal Nobody that she cares about a lot: How about Solo? Rey: ...Solo, then.

(A few months later she runs into Poe again and he offers for Finn and Rey to both take his name because honestly they need SOMETHING but at that point she’s already decided on Smuggler Dad.)

Backtrack a bit. We’ve got a bigger cast.

They all arrive separately. Poe, for one, does better than Rey, who is aiming for a murder, but not quite as well as Finn, who is currently being adopted and hidden like a secret cat by a bunch of Alpha Clones on Kamino. He vibes with the names-or-numbers thing. He doesn’t necessarily tell them where and when he’s from, but he’s very sweet and a great liar and they adopt him wholesale anyway.

The Finn situation is just... "Buir Ti, we need you to hide this man, we've decided he's our little brother but if Nala Se finds out she'll make him leave."

Of course, this leads into Shaak Ti teaching Finn how to Jedi.

Maybe consider Finn needing to almost be tricked into learning Jedi things because he willfully forgets it could apply to him. Finn does not like to think of himself as special, which is super valid, but frustrating for Shaak Ti when it comes to, you know, getting him to acquire knowledge. Finn's training at some point is "here, levitate objects with the Force to entertain the tubies." It’s a lot easier to convince him to practice when it involves the babies.

(Everyone on Kamino looked at Finn and went “oh I love him I’m keeping him and teaching him things.”)

(He’s just very lovable.)

Poe, meanwhile, buys the trust of Anakin Skywalker via R2D2 declaring BB-8 the absolute most baby of droids. R2D2 met BB-8 three hours ago but.

"Hey Obi-Wan this is Poe I met him like five days ago but R2D2 says he checks out because his droid is a baby." "That's nice, Anakin, did you know the Chancellor has a daughter who tried to assassinate him in broad daylight yesterday? Because guess who had to stop the Chancellor from getting assassinated by his daughter in broad daylight yesterday."

A summary so far:

Finn, on Kamino: Hey, um, I don't know where this is, but it's not where I was a few minutes ago. Do you think you could get me a comm? What's your name? Poe, on [dice roll] Denon: Oh, hey, you're General Skywalker? Nice to meet you, I'm so sorry about my droid, she's a little excitable and thought your R2 unit looked like a friend of hers-- Rey, on Coruscant: DIE, GRANDFATHER

Finn: [Peacefully vibing on Kamino, unaware of the chaos and bonding with the clones] Poe: [Trying to explain how he knows someone who tried to kill the chancellor and defend Rey] Rey: [Arrested for trying to kill the chancellor]

Just... just...

Anakin: Some guy ended up lost on base yesterday with his droid, how’s your day going? Obi-Wan: I had to stop someone who claims to be the chancellors daughter from murdering the chancellor after she seemingly blinked into existence in the Senate building. Poe: 😐

(Poe: Oh, so that's where Chaos^2 went.)

Poe: In her defense, she is his... well we don't know if she's his daughter or granddaughter, but she's definitely related to him, and she definitely grew up in a shitty situation that was his fault, so...

(Poe is trying very hard to explain this and not get arrested on the military base.)

As you’ve probably guessed, what's especially funny about all of this for me is the fact that Palpatine is fully aware that this girl shouldn't exist, but can't find a single piece of evidence about where she came from. He didn't start any experiments that could result in a female child, and he didn't have sex in that period of time, so where the hell--

Rey spends so much time in jail... BUT they do eventually assign her a Jedi Master. Possibly before she actually proves her evil grandfather is in fact evil. Most votes went to either Plo Koon or Obi-Wan. Plo, because he’s dad-shaped, and Obi...

"Obi-Wan, you already raised one feral desert child with implausible amounts of power, you handle this." Rey in return is very "Sweet, you vaguely remind me of Master Luke," and nobody knows who the hell she's talking about. Obi-Wan is NOT on board with this plan, she'd really be better off with Plo or like........ Mace.

Reunion Tour

What I need out of this is the eventual Finn and Rey reunion scene that is just excited screaming while someone in the background explains to Shaak Ti that yes this is apparently Palpatine's terrifyingly force-sensitive daughter who hates him.

(Finn senses Rey’s approach and just. Gathers the everyone to wait. He’s just :D REY MY FRIEND REY GUYS MY FRIEND REY IS COMING.)

Anakin shows up with Poe--just a guy who signed on to the military, no big deal--and then Poe and Rey are EXCITED and everyone's just like "Cool, how do you know this literal terrorist child?" And Poe has to scramble and "Uhhhhhhhhhhhh she saved my droid from a scrapheap once and BB-8 is basically my child so I owe her one."

Rey knows that Anakin ends up evil so she’s maybe not actively hostile but definitely very “I’m watching you.” That said, she vibes with him on a lot of things that he maybe doesn’t actively notice.

Rey picks up a snake, snaps off the head for venom avoidance, and starts biting off chunks. Obi-Wan's reaction: [undisguised horror] Anakin and Ahsoka: Ooh, where'd you find that? (Obi-Wan: And now I’m up to three feral children.)

What Does Palpatine Even Do?

OBVIOUSLY at a certain point, Palpatine is just phoning up every ally he has to figure out who broke protocol to synthesize a daughter for him.

So of course, Palpatine blame Plagueis.

She'd have been born five or so years before Naboo, just a few years younger than Anakin. It's such an EASY theory to build a conspiracy around. It is ENTIRELY WRONG, but it’s plausible! And anyone who might have been involved to say otherwise is probably dead!

A random bio-kid shows up you can’t possibly have contributed genes to? Maybe it’s the evil bio spark that did it.

Palpatine tries to placate her with the ‘my genes were stolen for an experiment and I didn’t know’ thing. It doesn’t work because her actual main complaint is he’s evil in her future but he tries.

It'd be a struggle to even get access to her, because of the aforementioned “maybe don’t try to talk to the daughter(?) that hates you” thing, but you know who Palpatine does have access to? The Chosen One.

Rey kind of decides on her favorites early on (she gravitates to Dad Energy and Sad Old Men so Plo and Obi-Wan are on her list, and that means decent time around Anakin and Ahsoka). It's really easy to talk Anakin into helping to some degree because "he'd like to connect to a daughter he never knew" and "a child of her power on a planet like that, you'd know her struggle, my dear boy" and so on. Anakin tries to connect! He tries to play up Sheev’s kind political work and how it can’t have really been his fault! It doesn’t work. Rey does not believe a word of it. Mostly she doesn’t even seem to hear him.

Rey's just like "...oh right, you're the melted mask that Kylo Ren was always ranting about," which means absolutely NOTHING to Anakin, but he mentions it to Palps, who loses his goddamn mind trying to figure out what she's talking about, because it also means absolutely nothing to him.

Here’s the thing: Rey’s already decided that Obi-Wan is cool, because Luke said so, and Plo Koon is dad-shaped, and she also gravitates towards earnest kindness in general, like she made friends with Finn real quick, so Ahsoka? Already getting along great.

She doesn’t dislike Anakin, really, he isn’t evil yet, he’s just... meh. She’s a little suspicious and she likes him less than the others but... Anakin.

Rey, to Anakin: You are my least favorite. Anakin, to Palpatine: YOUR DAUGHTER HATES ME???

And he goes from “she’s a lil standoffish” to “she doesn’t like me” to “she hates me” as is normal for Anakin.

It’s just an escalation of this one time Palpatine wants Anakin to not have rifts and trust issues with a person, at least not until later, because he needs information.

Meanwhile, that very moment, Rey is just like "huh, nobody here is listening to me about how make a sixth-hand carburetor work, where's Luke's dad?"

Anakin is venting to Palpatine about how hard it is to talk to Rey, and she's over in the Temple just like "Hey, that guy was useful last time, I should ask him," but also she only ever thinks of him as Luke's Dad.

(At one point, Obi-Wan is having a bit of a break down, and then Anakin starts having a breakdown about that, meanwhile the clones are (badly) trying to hide Finn behind their backs, Rey is watching Ahsoka practice and being like "I want two lightsabers," and Poe is trying to keep R2 from stealing BB-8 and Force Ghost Luke is just face palming in the background.)

(Rey deserved a saber staff, maybe one that can detach and turn into a jar’kai set. Possibly a pike. Mostly I just wish she got more chances to whack things with a big stick.)

[thighs-of-betrayal-blog]

hi, this is about the part 2 to stakeout company. maybe when they get home, they kinda don't talk about it but are very affectionate with each other, like maybe they cuddle on the couch in the common room or hold hands and stuff and the team notices and maybe sam gets enough of it and asks what's going on between them but they look at each other and are like, 'we dont know, we haven't really talked about it' and maybe bucky says 'but im pretty sure we're together' and then sam freaks out and leaves and then reader teases bucky about it and they kiss?

i dont know, maybe its a shitty idea but its an idea nonetheless and dont do it if you dont want to

much love x

Time to Talk

Part 2 to "Stakeout Company"

A/N: This could never be a shitty idea! It’s amazing and I’m so happy you sent it in!! Thank you so much, love! :)

I hope you all enjoy and as always, any feedback is appreciated!

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger! Reader

Warnings: angst/fluff, violence, weapons 

Part 1

The past week has been… interesting, to say the least. After Bucky’s affectionate cuddling session with you during your stakeout, the two of you have been acting like a couple. Funny thing is though, you’re not. You haven’t even discussed what went down during the mission. There’s unspoken words between you and you both know it. You’re just living in blissful avoidance. 

Bucky’s never been great at expressing his feelings and you, well you are supposed to hate him. That’s what everyone else thinks anyway. You feel like it’s easier to keep up the fa��ade then explain it to everyone, but unknown to you, some have already noticed. 

It’s a Thursday afternoon and after a long, morning training, you and Bucky are sitting on the couch, your head resting on his shoulder. 

“I’m gonna be so fucking sore,” you groan. 

Bucky rests his hand on your thigh. “Maybe I can-” 

“Maybe you can what?” 

The two of you jump apart at the sound of Sam’s voice as he sits down on the chair across from you, staring at you expectantly. 

Your hand is resting over your heart as it beats erratically in your chest. “Sam! You scared me. I didn’t know you were standing there.” 

“I bet you didn’t. Otherwise, I’m sure you two wouldn’t have been acting the way you just were.” 

Bucky sighs. “Look, Sam, we can explain.” 

“Can you? I thought you two hated each other and now, you’re all cuddly and shit. I’m confused. The whole team’s confused. Hell, even you two look confused.”

You look over at Bucky. “Well, we haven’t really talked about it.”

Bucky looks back at you and nods. “Yeah, we haven’t.” A grin appears on his face. “But, I wouldn’t mind if we were official.” 

All the feelings you’ve been recently suppressing come sliding up your body, ready to slip out at any moment. You fight to keep them down, not wanting to scare Bucky away with how much you actually care for him. 

“I’ve gotta go.” Standing up, you give Bucky one last glance before rushing towards the elevator, your heart breaking with each step. 

---

You realized the next day that you crushed Bucky’s heart. He avoided you at all costs, refusing to even look at you. 

Now, a week later, you’re on a mission and of course, you’ve been paired up with him. 

As the two of you walk through the building, it’s dead silent, neither of you daring to speak. You want to apologize, tell him you were just scared, but the looks he’s giving you makes you think you should just keep quiet. 

“Y/N, Buck. You guys almost in the lab?” Sam asks over the comms. 

You steal a glance at Bucky and sigh. “Yeah, right down the hallway. I’ll let you know when we’re in.” 

When you enter the lab, you split up, the both of you heading in opposite directions to download data from the computer systems. 

It’s now that you decide it’s a good time to talk. “Why have you been avoiding me?” 

Bucky groans. “Seriously, Y/N? You wanna have this talk now?” 

Sticking your flash drive into the computer, you click to start the transfer process. “Why not now? We’re alone.” 

“Are you really though?” 

Quickly turning around, you face off with three guards. “Shit. I was really hoping to have a breakthrough with the man I have feelings for, guys. Is that too much to ask for?” 

Bucky’s head whips to the side. “You have feelings for me?” 

One of the guards chuckles. “This is cute and all, but you’re not leaving with that flash drive.” 

You look down at the drive in your hand. “Oh, right.” You smirk. “Guess you’ll have to come and get it.” 

One of the guards rushes you and you jump to the side, pocketing the flash drive into your boot before fishing around in your belt for your knives. When you come up empty handed, you want to kick yourself. You forgot them. You actually forgot to bring your knives to a mission. 

“Fuck me,” you groan out loud. 

“What’s wrong, doll?” Bucky asks from across the room, in the middle of dodging a punch from one of the guards.

You kick your leg into a guard’s chest. “Forgot my knives!”

In an instant, a knife slides your way. “Take one of mine!” 

Picking up the knife, you send a quick grin in Bucky’s direction. “God, I like you so much.” 

Bucky grunts and continues dodging punches. “Why’d you run off like that then?” 

You slash the knife at the guard in front of you, narrowly missing his chest by a few inches. “I was scared! It’s been a long time since I’ve been with someone romantically and you make me feel things I’ve never felt before!” 

The guard kicks out at you and you flip onto the floor, slicing your knife into his ankle. He groans as his step falters. 

“You don’t ever have to be scared with me, doll! I’ll always protect you!” 

As the guard is focused on his ankle, you climb up to his neck, wrapping your thighs tightly around his throat. “I know you would! I’m just an idiot!” 

You use all your strength to knock the guard over, falling onto your back hard. You groan, but continue to choke him until he passes out. Once he does, you’re back on your feet, heading towards Bucky and the two other guards. 

Bucky gives you a quick smile. “You’re my idiot.” 

You smile to yourself as you lunge at one of the guards, throwing your hand out to punch him in the throat. “Did you hear that?” You question the guard. “I’m his idiot. How sweet.” 

Bucky lets out a deep chuckle as he knocks the guard he’s fighting in the head with the blunt of his knife. The guard falls down in a heap, landing right at Bucky’s feet. 

When he turns to look at you and the guard you’re fighting, he swipes the sweat off his forehead. “Let’s hurry this up so I can kiss you already.” 

“Sounds good to me!” 

The two of you swarm the last guard together. Bucky grabs his waist, while you swing your leg in the air, kicking him square in the head. Bucky ducks before your foot connects with the guard’s head, sending him into the wall next to you. 

When you look at Bucky, he’s already staring at you. “Is this what we’ll be doing now as a couple? Fighting together? Because it’s kinda hot.” 

You smack his arm. “You’re insatiable.” 

Grabbing your arms, he pulls you towards him. “Only for you, doll.” He grabs your chin, tilting your head up to his. “Now about that kiss-”

His lips press against yours, claiming your mouth. “Worth the wait,” he groans into the kiss. 

You chuckle before kissing him harder, biting down on his lower lip. 

Bucky grips your waist. “The things I’m gonna do to-” 

“We can hear you, ya know!” Sam yells in the ear comms, disgust laced in his voice. 

Laughing, the two of you separate while grabbing your comms in sync and throwing them onto the ground. 

“That solves that problem,” Bucky laughs before pressing his lips back onto yours. 

It sure does, you think to yourself, getting lost in the feel of him against you. It sure does.

[47crayons]

so, you want to write a musician?

about me: i play viola and have experience in symphony orchestras, string orchestras, string quartets (+ a few other small ensembles), and solo performances. i've done some light composition, and have friends/family who play other instruments. while my musical history is extensive, by no means do i know everything or speak for everyone.

this guide will focus on classical music/how to portray classical musicians and things that aren't as easily researched.

quick overview of instruments in a typical symphony orchestra

upper strings (violin, viola), lower strings (cello, (double) bass; i've seen viola included here too, but it's more commonly classified as upper strings)

strings also technically includes harp and piano

woodwinds (flute, oboe, clarinet, bassoon)

depending on instrumentation, they may also have piccolo, english horn, bass clarinet, contrabassoon

saxophones are not traditionally in symphony orchestras due to it being a relative newer instrument! but this is changing because more contemporary composes are including sax parts

brass (trumpet, trombone, bass trombone, tuba, euphonium)

percussion (depends heavily on instrumentation, but common instruments are bass drum, timpani, snare, crash cymbal, xylophone, marimba)

some things you should research

where the hands are supposed to go!! i'd recommend you look at pictures of professionals in orchestra settings (ny phil, cso, berlin phil are all top tier). some musicians *coughs at yoyo ma* have less than perfect posture when they're performing solos (for the same reasons famous authors can break "rules")

necessary equipment including reeds, rockstops, different kinds of sticks/mallets, rosin, mouth pieces for whatever instrument you're writing

common misconceptions

loose/photocopied sheet music is not aesthetic—it's annoying and impossible to keep organized. folders and binders are fairly common especially when managing multiple ensembles.

original copies are often expensive and required to perform a piece (legally) for profit or otherwise (though i know a few people who have bent this rule)

not all performers are good composers (i myself have very little formal music theory training), but many composers have performance histories.

not all musicians can sing.

perfect pitch is both a blessing and a curse. notes can be slightly lower/higher but in tune with the context of the piece, which drives people with perfect pitch insane.

having perfect pitch does not guarantee someone will be a prodigy, and people don't need perfect pitch to be a talented musician.

drama in ensembles does exist, but it rarely gets in the way of rehearsal. same thing goes for good friends: if your characters have even a shred of common sense, they aren't going to be talking/messing around during rehearsal.

instruments (especially good ones) are extremely expensive. people very rarely store instruments on the wall or other displays for fear of falling.

instruments are very picky and require tuning every time. every time! it doesn't take long anyway. temperature and humidity can and will make instruments go out of tune or damage your instrument if not properly stored.

some people listen exclusively to classical music, but in my experience, that's definitely not the majority

like with anything, most musicians struggle with self doubt at one point or another.

musician culture

getting excited when we hear a piece we recognize

getting frustrated because we can't remember the name of the piece (after all, no lyrics to search)

being horrified when a non-musician actor is playing a musician. yes, we notice. yes, it's obvious.

if people are joking, it's likely to be about: violas (a quick search for "viola jokes" will tell you all you need to know) or trumpets (a reputation for being overly loud, playing and not)

putting stickers (places they toured, their orchestra, or just purely decorative) on cases is common, but not for everyone. same goes for pictures (of family, past concerts, or anything) on the inside.

scrambling for a pencil when the conductor says to mark something. pencils are a musicians best friend :D

asking (and forgetting) how to split double stops/two parts at the same time. sometimes one stand partner will play the top while the other plays the bottom, and sometimes this is split stand by stand.

this has NEVER resulted in a sexual top/bottom joke. please just. don't. also no g string jokes. it's just unrealistic.

awaiting the obligatory "it's one week before our concert, and you sound like this?!" lecture

not talking about music 100% of the time!!! they have lives outside of music (most of them, at least /j). especially to close friends, music is probably not going to be a conversation topic unless something is out of the ordinary (high stress, something funny from rehearsal, etc.)

bragging/talking about how often they practice is generally not welcomed. great, but other people don't need to hear it!

stages are hot and bright. there's no way a performer can see someone in the audience with the possible exception of the first row.

practicing

three words for you: love. hate. relationship.

slow practice (like really slow lots of people recommend half speed; good for focusing on the right notes, tone, phrasing, smooth transitions)

metronome practice (while playing, it's not annoying at all! it's helpful and requires a lot of focus; when NOT playing, it's annoying and loud because it needs to be heard over the playing)

drone practice (having a machine/website/another person play one note in the background; good for tuning and scales)

and too many more for me to detail

auditions

ensembles may have entrance auditions to determine who gets in and seating auditions to determine placement within the section.

adrenaline does not make us play better; it just makes us make mistakes. and then thinking about those mistakes causes more mistakes.

some instruments, especially those with less repertoire, have common excerpts that come up frequently (i can think of one in particular that i've played for three separate auditions this year).

stopping/starting over is not recommended ever, but if you do, it has to be 10x better. most audition judges aren't looking for perfection!! they want to see how your character can keep going after messing up.

sight reading (being given new music, having ~30 seconds to look at it, being asked to play) is never perfect. i don't care how talented your character is; if they think they nailed it, they aren't experienced enough to see all the phrasing/dynamics that they didn't incorporate. no one gets sight reading perfect!!!

perhaps most importantly, musicians are not all the same! they enjoy it for a number of different reasons and have diverse and interesting lives outside of music!!! more information about specific instrument groups under the cut :)

strings

callouses. with the exception of pianists, most string players (and especially professional ones) have callouses where they press down/pluck the strings. i also have one on my right thumb where i hold my bow. cellists and bassists might have them on their left thumb from playing higher notes in thumb position.

hickeys are also fairly common, though only some people get them. upper strings will get these by under their left jaw. cellists may have one from the wooden body resting on their sternum. some people (including hilary hahn and many many others) use a cloth for comfort and to prevent hickeys.

few people want a hickey, but it might suit a character who is constantly trying to prove themselves.

our fingers do not "glide" anywhere. you can get cuts/"string-burns" from pressing down too hard when shifting. cuts like those are the only reason someone's fingers will bleed, and it's rarer than you think.

upper strings are more prone to back/neck problems from the way they hold their instruments on one side. see also: shoulder pain.

finger cramps happen. they aren't too common, but most if not all strings have experienced at least one.

pianos require tuning every few years or else the chords will be out of tune. few pianists can tune their own instrument because of how complicated it is.

piano parts/accompaniments will have so. many. pages. a page turner may sit on the right of the pianist to turn the page.

woodwinds & brass

spit. so much spit. some instruments clean afterwards with a cloth; others have a spit valve which is as gross as it sounds.

proper embouchure, or how a musician uses the muscles in their face/lips, is tiring, and people actually get strong cheek muscles. they can also easily turn red, but it varies based on a person's facial complexion. see also: good lung capacity.

flute and piccolo are not dainty. piccolo requires as much air as a tuba. an old teacher of mine almost passed out playing piccolo when she was in college.

flutes and piccolos are high, but often not shrill depending on the level of the ensemble.

reeds last a few weeks (less if your character plays for hours a day) and can be expensive to buy.

keys and valves can get sticky especially on older instruments which can result in the wrong note or bad tone.

saxes, clarinets, flutes are more likely to "honk" on low notes.

oboes are more likely to feel "wispy" on high notes.

articulation comes from the tongue, especially for brass instruments, and conductors may ask for "tah" "pah" or "wah" sounds depending on the style of the piece.

percussion

callouses from the friction between hands and sticks/mallets.

there are so many types of sticks and mallets!!! make sure to take a look at what materials are good for what instruments/sounds.

cymbals, triangle, and bass drum are not easy to play, even though they look simple.

percussionists with the exception of timpani may play more than one instrument during a piece, and they're constantly moving around in the back during their rests.

percussion instruments are too expensive for most people to have everything they ever play. practice pads are very common in place of these instruments.

ability to play one instrument doesn't translate to different instruments. for example, many percussionists don't have experience playing set/drum set.

some of the things detailed here are heavily glossed over, so if you have any questions, i'd always be happy to talk about it with you; i may not have answers, but i will try to help as best i can!!!

since you read this far, have my favorite viola joke.

what's the difference between a violist and a large pizza?

a large pizza can feed a family of four :)

tagging some people who showed interest: @writing-is-a-martial-art @ashen-crest @kg-willie @owilder

[dameronology]

to all the pilots i've loved before {poe dameron} - 3/4

part three: better half of a whole

summary: you’re in love with poe dameron. it’s both the most complicated and most simple thing in the galaxy - and it’s all shoved into a shoe-box under your bed, in the form of a thousand love letters. here’s to hoping he never finds them. (series masterlist)

warnings: language, mentions of injury

i'm so sorry this took me so long to write!! i got writer's block and then i was horribly busy with a thousand others things and sadly, i cannot prioritise fan fiction over real life duties. and i would know, because i've tried

enjoy!!

- jazz

Poe didn't sleep for...well, it was probably days. Felt like years.

Dear trouble,

Every time he closed his eyes, your face would flash into his mind. The sound of your laugh echoing amongst the cries of war; the feel of your soft hands tracing the remains of battle scars and wounds. What if the hug you gave him before you left was the last? What if your slightly pained laughter at the shitty joke he'd made in the jungle the night before was all he had left? He cherished every memory he had of you but he loved you more.

I know you hate when I call you that, but it feels pretty accurate - because you do cause trouble, normally with me but more recently FOR me. Anyways, I never considered myself to be much of a letter writer, but then I saw yours and...fuck.

Love. What a funny fucking word, right? Said so easily, but meant so much. Something that felt so hard to find, but even more difficult to hold onto. His parents had found it and they'd kept it for so long, and he'd always wanted the same - nothing less, nothing more. Just the kind of unwavering, undying love that can survive a war and be happy with the domesticity that followed. The only difference between Poe and his parents was that they'd been fearless with every aspect of their lives, not withholding their ability to express feelings. Perhaps that's where he fell short. Shara had taught him a lot of things but she'd been lost before he taught her how to pull his head out his ass and just...say things how they were.

What am I even supposed to say? I love you too would be a start, because I obviously I do. I've always wanted to say it but I never wanted to risk what we had in case you secretly hated me, and now I'm going to live out the rest of my days regretting it.

The first that Poe managed to finally get some rest was four days after Leia had broken the news of your disappearance. He'd fallen asleep in his quarters, curled up into Finn's side and clutching a t-shirt of his that he'd left in your room - you'd borrowed it a few months ago, and it still smelt of you. It was a mixture of your everyday body fragrance and a little of engine oil. BB-8 was snoozing quietly in the corner and for the first time in days, Poe's jaw and shoulders weren't tense and clenched.

The little robot did stir, however, when he got a comms system message from Leia. He was awake immediately, cruising across the room and crashing straight into the nearest human he could find - and it was at that point that Finn regretted leaving his leg dangling off the side of the bed. He jumped awake, brown eyes finding the droid peering up at him.

You're not just my best friend. You're my partner in crime, my soulmate and you know that twin flame bullshit that Rey always go on about? You're probably that too because we're both flaming hot. You're the better half of this whole. You and me.

"Poe is sleeping, buddy," he quietly said.

"There's a message from the general," BB-8 beeped back.

Poe suddenly woke up at that - it could have been any message, and certainly not one about you, but something in his gut told him otherwise. If it hadn't have been, Leia would have left it til morning, or not even bothered him at all in his current state.

"What?" the pilot asked. "What is it?"

"They're back, in the med-"

Poe didn't give him a chance to say anything else, because he was already up and out the door - jacket unzipped, boots half unlaced, hair sticking up in a thousand different directions.

And even though he hadn't slept for days, he was running for his dear fucking life. The medical bay was right on the other side of the base and he didn't care. You were there - in what state, he didn't know - and that was all that mattered. He was just wanted to be with you, beside you, and he never planned on leaving.

If I see you again, I'm not gonna hide it anymore. I love you and you deserve to know that. I'm gonna give you the fucking world, I promise.

Poe skidded around the corner, stopping his tracks when he saw you across the room. You looked tired - far past it, in fact - and his entire body tensed when he saw the bruises on your arm and up your neck. Still, he took comfort in the fact that he knew you put up a good fight. You'd sparred together enough times and given him enough bruises to last a life time.

There was a slight oof as someone crashed into the back of Poe (Finn's subtle way of announcing his arrival). He placed a hand on his shoulder, shoving him forward slightly. It was clear that Poe was in a state of shock - at your loss, at your declaration, and even more at your return - because the last few days had changed everything.

Everything he'd ever wanted was about to come to fruition. No pressure.

"Go to them," Finn murmured.

With that, Poe took a few steps forward - you met him half away across the room, chests colliding with enough force to knock down an ATAT. He wound his arms you, pulling you towards him with one hand tangled in your hair and the other holding your back. He clung to you, tears in his eyes and entire body shaking, almost as though he was using the feeling of you to act as a reminder that this wasn't a dream. You were here. You were back. Perhaps a little worst for wear, but alive and standing all the same.

I don't know how I'll say it. Am I meant to just blurt it out? I've never said it to anyone before, so...what the fuck am I meant to do? Normally, I'd come to you for advice on this sort of this but that feels a bit counter intuitive.

"Hey, Poe," you gently murmured.

"Hey, trouble," he let out a shaky laugh, pulling back from the hug to clutch your face in his hands. "You're alive. You're here-"

"- yeah, I'm here," you grinned.

"What happened?" he pushed. "If I ever find those First Order bastards, I swear it's on site."

"They were trying to shoot us out the sky, so we had to lay low on a random moon for a few days, but the residents of said moon were not very friendly and - you know what? It doesn't matter," you leant into his touch, relishing the feeling of his hands against your skin. "I'm here and that's what's important."

"I was so scared," Poe admitted. "And they had me search your room for back up plans and-"

You froze.

"You...you searched my room?" you stuttered. "What did you find?"

The main thing is, I AM gonna tell you. I promise. Just...please come back.

Love, Poe

Poe's eyes widened - maybe now wasn't the best time to break the news. You were bleeding from your head and hadn't slept for days. To spring it on you before you were even cleaned up felt a bit unfair. His worst fears had been avoided, so he didn't mind waiting just a little longer.

"Nothing," he forced a smile. "C'mon, I'll clean you up."

Taking your hand in his, Poe lead you towards one of the beds. He was hardly a medical expert, but he'd been through enough cuts and scrapes to have a basic understanding of stitches. And luckily, your injuries didn't look too bad. It was more just the fact you had them in the first place that hurt him.

What if he'd gone on the mission with you? Or convinced you to stay? Fuck, he would have gone in your place if he knew what was going to happen. The last few days had been the worst of his life and he almost felt responsible for what had happened to you. Your pain was his pain, and he felt it in every fibre of his being.

But, of all things, at least he knew what love was now - and if you had never have gone MIA, he never would have gone looking in your room, and he never would have found those letters. It felt like a bit of a dick move to call them a blessing in disguise but his mother had always taught him the value of looking for silver linings. The last week had been one giant thunderstorm. There had been no breaks in the rain, or sun peaking through the clouds. It had just been darkness and thunder, but it was all beginning to clear now.

What was it that Shara had said when Poe was a kid? Things have a funny way of working out. This was all a testament to that, and also to the fact that she always seemed to be right.

Poe's hands moved gently as he stitched up the cut on your forehead. They were still steady as they moved, brown eyes occasionally moving down to meet yours. He always smiled when they did.

"There we go," he said. "That shouldn't scar, but if it does, it would make you look like a bad-ass, so..."

You chuckled slightly. "Thanks, Dameron."

"You don't have to thank me," he quietly murmured, running a thumb over your cheek. "I'm just glad you're back."

"Right," you grinned. "What did you do whilst I was gone?"

Cried. Read those letters. Cried some more. Wrote a letter myself, then cried on that too.

"I just...I caught up some on some reading," he forced a smile. "C'mon, let's go to my quarters. I have some bactaspray there for those bruises."

Poe took your hand in his again and helped you up off of the bed - you seemed okay to walk, but he didn't let go. He needed to feel you, to know that you were there. He was worried you might float away into the galaxy and disappear all over again if he didn't cling onto you.

And for you, the feeling of his warm hands against yours was a welcome relief after a long few days. You were trying to push the pain and the incoming nightmares to the back of your head, and it was much easier when Poe was beside you. You already knew that he was going to make you sleep beside him that night. Being on the same wavelength so often was a great feeling.

Poe hadn't thought about tidying his room - why would he? He'd been so preoccupied with you, and finding you, that he'd barely considered the idea. Besides, it wasn't like you were going to care about the shoes by his door, or the letters on his desk, or the unfolded laund-

- fuck.

The letters.

Your box of letters, which was sat on his desk, which was right by the door.

By the time he'd even registered that they were there, you were already half way into the room. In a somewhat half-arsed attempt to shove them back in the box and toss them to the side, Poe dove forward and knocked them into an open draw, slamming it shut.

When he turned around and saw your wide eyes, it was clear he was a little too late. You'd already seen them.

taglist: tags: @neverlandlibrarian @asphyzzz @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @ubri812 @taina-eny @dessinemoiunehistoire @fangirl-316 @princessxkenobi @brandyllyn

[deadbiwrites]

a video of supergirl grabbing lena luthor's ass starts circulating and it's very embarrassing for sc but extremely funny to their friends

(I am SO sorry. Where do these hide? Why do I never see them? How long has this been here?!

Anyways, have some cute nonsense!)

The day starts like any other, honestly.

Like, sure, Kara’s never thrilled when she wakes up 20 minutes late and has to use superspeed to get through her morning routine and into the office on time, but it happens regularly enough that she’s just sort of used to it by now. Like, the sky is blue, the grass is green, she manages time poorly. Whatever.

But she does get to work on time, with just enough to spare that she can make a brief detour to Nia’s desk for the coffee her protege has already bought for her, thank her profusely (with perhaps minor promising of firstborn children), and slip into the morning meeting just as Snapper, James, and Lena start handing out assignments for the day.

“Well, well, good of you to join us, Ponytail. Let me guess, a family emergency kept you out all night again?”

‘I mean, that Abraxian wasn’t my family, technically, but someone’s family, so…’ “Something like that. Sorry.”

Lena catches her eye and quirks a brow in question, but Kara just shrugs easily and sips her coffee, pulling a silly face at her friend when Snapper’s attention moves away from her. When her eyes uncross, she can tell Lena is fighting not to laugh, eyes sparking with mirth as she bites her lip. Kara takes another sip of coffee, feeling a bit smug that she can get Lena to smile without even having to say anything to her. That’s real talent, right there.

Especially since Lena has to stand up at the front with James, who has been by turns cold, dejected, and surly toward her since their breakup (a big, real, final one) a few weeks prior. Lena had said that the whole thing was a mistake, that she should’ve never gone for it in the first place because she’d been right the first time- they’d had some chemistry, after all, but it certainly wasn’t compatible long-term. 

Which… Kara can certainly relate. Like, a lot.

Especially about the whole… James being kind of wounded about it part. That part had really sucked- when he’d done it with Kara, who he’d gone on like, a date with, it’d resulted in him deciding to become a vigilante. Rao only knows what he’ll do when it’s someone he dated on and off for over a year...

“Ponytail!”

Kara jumps, realizing too late that her wandering attention hasn’t gone unnoticed. “Yes, sir?”

Snapper rolls his eyes. “Great, now that you’ve stopped orbiting Saturn, you wanna go get that article started?”

Kara’s eyes widen slightly in a panic as she realizes that she has no idea what he’s talking about. “Uh…” Behind his back, Lena catches her eye and nods subtly. Thank Rao. “Yes. I super do.”

Lena snorts, James sighs deeply, and the meeting is adjourned.

**

“So what exactly am I supposed to be doing today?” Kara asks Lena as they stroll out of the conference room together.

“Well unfortunately for you, you have to interview a big-time CEO. You have a meeting scheduled with her in three hours.”

“You?” Kara asks hopefully.

“You’re very sweet,” Lena chuckles. “No, Elena Watts. She’s a real estate developer, and she runs a nonprofit organization for homeless youth. It’s one of the articles we’re doing for next month’s spread. Contrary to popular belief, Cat and I weren’t the only women with high-profile jobs in this city. ”

“Oh, that’s pretty cool! Have you met her?”

“Not personally, no, but I have donated to her charity- it’s a very good cause, especially the outreach they do with queer youth.”

Kara elbows Lena gently. “You’re such a softie.”

“Mmm, maybe. But if you tell anyone, you’re fired.”

Kara clutches a hand to her chest, feigning horror. “Why Miss Luthor, what a blatant abuse of power!”

Lena shrugs. “I’m a Luthor, darling, I have to keep up appearances somehow.”

“Ouch,” Kara laughs. “See you at lunch?”

“Only if lunch includes a milkshake- I have a teleconference with both boards today. Unless you feel like joining me?”

“Wow, well as fun as that sounds, I’m gonna go do literally anything else.” Her comms crackle to life, alerting her of a hostage situation downtown, and Kara sighs. So much for a work day. “Alright, well, I’m, um, gonna go… see what I can find on Elena Watts. Maybe over another cup of coffee at Noonan’s.” She widens her eyes a bit, trying her best to convey that she’s going to be on Super-duty for a little while.

Thankfully, Lena picks up on it and grins. “You just want sticky buns.”

“Lena, I always want sticky buns. They’re like, my second favorite thing to eat.”

“Oh? What’s the first?” Lena asks, voice just a bit lower than usual. 

Kara opens her mouth and closes it, flushing slightly as she averts her gaze and adjusts the laptop bag on her shoulder. Stuff like that has been happening more and more, and she’s not 100% sure what to do about it. Because on the one hand, it makes her stomach do flips and tie up in knots and makes her brain do this… staticky thing where nothing filters in or out, just a pleasant buzz of how funny and smart Lena is and how much Kara likes hanging out with her and being flirted with (because that’s definitely what’s been happening, even if neither of them is really ready to address it) and just generally looking at Lena.... who is currently biting her lip and grinning up at Kara, and that buzz makes her kinda dumb, which is just really unhelpful. But on the other hand, it’s also kinda awesome and Kara really enjoys it, and-

“Kara?”

She spaced out again. Crap.

“Um. What time are you free for lunch?”

Lena sighs, seeming slightly disappointed that Kara isn’t flirting back at the moment (and thank Rao Lena can’t read minds), but she smiles back easily enough as they step off of the elevator. “I should be done by two.”

Feeling emboldened, Kara turns so she’s walking backwards in front of Lena and grins. “It’s a date,” she says with a grin, ducking forward to press a quick “friendly” kiss high on Lena’s cheek. She whirls and jogs out the double doors, leaving Lena smiling exasperatedly after her.

**

It is genuinely baffling to Kara that people still commit crimes in National City. It’s not even an ego thing, really, since Kara tries to keep herself humble (even when she manages to wrap up a hostage situation within twenty seconds of arriving on-scene without injuring any of the criminals or damaging the building too badly). Like, yeah, she gets that there’s a certain element of crazies who just sorta gravitate to places with a local hero, the big-bads who have their own suits and geek-toys and abilities. Them, Kara gets. Kinda sorta. But the regular ones, who are armed with like, pistols? Or knives? Just regular man made stuff without even the benefit of magic or kryptonite or something?

Why? 

She’s sure that if she asked, Lena would have some sort of statistical thing about large cities and poverty and all sorts of other factors that would end up making Kara feel like a jerk for being uncharitable to the criminal element of her city, but at the moment she’s mostly too annoyed by the fact that she has to spend her weekdays chasing them around instead of chasing stories.

Once all the hostages are freed and the cops secure the scene, Kara departs, flying into the alley behind Noonan’s and changing into her regular clothes before she heads inside to do a bit of research before her meeting with Elena Watts in a few hours (just because she’d used it as a cover doesn’t mean it was a bad idea…). She finds her favorite little two-person booth tucked into a quiet corner, plugs in her laptop, and gets to work, asking the waitress to please keep both the coffee and the sticky buns coming.

She gets a surprising amount done by the time she needs to leave for the interview, having a good foundation for what she wants to write and who Elena Watts is.

Ms. Watts turns out to be a pretty nice lady around Eliza’s age, if a bit busy and distracted by the steady flow of people in and out of her office. She answers all Kara’s questions with aplomb, happy to elaborate on most every point and eager to draw attention to the rising issue of homelessness among children and teens in the US.

“When I was young, my dad lost his job at the auto plant. It was supposed to be a temporary layoff, but the factory never reopened. We ended up losing the house, and we lived so far from our extended family that staying with them wasn’t much of an option. We lived in our SUV for six months, sleeping at shelters every now and again, if we could find one that allowed families to stay together. We showered at the local YMCA. Five people and a dog, living and sleeping in an old station wagon- even now, it sounds ridiculous. Eventually, we got back on our feet, but I never forgot that. It was just six months, but it was- and remains- the scariest, most uncertain time in my entire life, and it shaped me in a lot of ways I didn’t expect. And there are kids and families who do that for years. I just want to help them the way I wish that someone had been able to help us.”

At the end of the interview, Kara thanks her profusely for her time and for sharing her story before hurrying off to CatCo to type up a draft for Snapper (“What’s wrong with you, Ponytail, why is everything you bring me sappy and sentimental?”), which she finishes an outline of just in time to send it off before running to Big Belly and L-Corp for lunch with Lena.

She greets the newest in a series of secretaries (Anna? Amy? Ava? Lena’s really missing Jess, these days, but from what she’s told Kara, Jess is kicking butt in her new role as VP of Operations and will probably take over for the COO when he retires in a few years), and the girl waves her in distractedly.

And that’s when Kara’s day goes from normal to not, because inside the office are two masked men holding a stone-faced Lena at gunpoint on her balcony and demanding… something, probably. Kara’s a bit distracted by the loaded gun aimed at Lena’s head.

“Hey!” she yells, attracting both their attention. They whirl on her and Lena’s eyes widen in alarm, and Kara suddenly realizes three things- 1) she’s in her Kara Danvers clothes, not the supersuit, 2) she can’t speed into the suit now that they’re both looking at her, and 3) she has no plan.

Crap.

“Who the hell are you?!” one of them demands.

Kara… doesn’t have a good or snappy answer for that, and instead does the only thing she can think of- she throws the large milkshakes she’s carrying at them as hard as she can.

Which, in retrospect, is too hard, apparently because while yes, it is both funny and gratifying to see two grown men get absolutely leveled by a tasty dairy treat to the face, the one closest to Lena manages to elbow her in such a way that she falls backwards over the rail with an instinctual scream that makes Kara’s heart fly into her throat. She whips off her glasses, and by the time she’s out the window and speeding toward Lena’s flailing form, the suit is materialized. She gets under Lena, catching her carefully and dropping a bit further before slowing down (because she’s been made aware that when she doesn’t, the people she’s saving may as well be hitting the pavement), finally coasting to a stop about 20 feet from the ground.

Lena’s face is screwed up in a forced sort of focus, her hands clutching tightly at Kara’s shoulders and cape as she holds her breath.

“Are you okay?” Kara asks quietly.

Lena swallows thickly and nods, eyes still firmly closed. “I’m alright. Thank you- I’ll admit, I wasn’t quite sure how to get out of that one.”

“What was that? What did they want?”

Lena cracks an eye open. “Oh. you know, just my quarterly assassination attempt. I think my mother was starting to miss me, so she wanted to reach out.”

Kara snorts. “That really shouldn’t be funny.”

“Maybe not, but here we are.” Lena shifts a bit in Kara’s arms, cheeks a bit flushed from the adrenaline rush, and clears her throat. “Not to be rude, Supergirl, but do you think that perhaps we could continue this conversation… on the ground?”

“Oh. Oh! Yeah, sorry. I forgot we were, uh, flying.”

Lena chuckles as they ascend slowly back up to her office. “You forgot you were flying?”

Kara shrugs with an easy smile. “I guess you have that effect on me.”

Lena huffs a laugh against Kara’s neck, eyes squeezed shut again. They alight on the balcony, finding the two men still unconscious, covered in Kara and Lena’s lunch. Lena sighs as Kara sets her down, pinching the bridge of her nose. “What a mess.”

“Yeah, sorry, I sorta… panicked.”  

“I was so looking forward to a milkshake too…” Lena laments playfully.

“Well, then I have good news and bad news,” Kara says. She reaches out and gently wipes a bit of her own chocolate shake from Lena’s cheek with the pad of her thumb, tucking it into her mouth on instinct to get a taste of it. “The good news is, you do, in fact, have some shake on you!”

“Whats the bad news?” 

“Also that you have some shake on you.” Kara laughs, gathering the two men in her arms and hefting them a bit so they’re easier to carry. “I’ll get you another one. Be right back.”

She drops the men at the police station with a brief explanation before flying back into the office. Lena hands over her discarded glasses with a wry grin.

“I figured you’d need these before the police arrive.” She’s putting on a brave front, but she’s clearly still more than a bit rattled, if her too-bright eyes and thundering heartbeat are anything to go by. Kara steps closer and opens her arms in invitation, and Lena doesn’t hesitate to step into them. “Thank you,” Lena says fervently, tucking her face into Kara’s shoulder and wrapping her arms tight around Kara’s waist. 

“Always,” Kara promises, daring to press a reassuring kiss to Lena’s temple (and getting a bit of Lena’s strawberry shake for her troubles) before wrapping her up even tighter in her arms. “Are you actually okay?”

“I mean, my fear of heights has been reaffirmed,” Lena jokes, “but aside from that, I’m not hurt.”

“Good. I don’t like, love people pointing guns at you. Just so you know.”

“I’m not a fan either, for the record,” Lena drawls, burrowing even closer. “Even though I know you’ll save me, it still puts a damper on my day.”

Kara huffs a laugh. “Same.”

They stay like that for a few minutes, until Lena’s calmed down enough to stop shaking and calls her assistant (Audra, apparently) in, telling her what’d happened and that the police would be arriving shortly to take her and Kara’s statements, and please advise the security team to let them up discreetly. After the cops arrive, it’s a blur of questions, and Kara has to concentrate on telling the story of how she’d panicked and thrown the milkshakes at the men, and one of them had knocked Lena over the balcony (all true), and Kara had yelled for Supergirl, who had knocked the men out on her way to Lena (also technically mostly true. Technically. Mostly.). The police are sure to tell Kara that next time, she shouldn’t throw things at people with guns, and also to tell them both how lucky they are that Supergirl had shown up when she did.

“She’s always there when I need her,” Lena agrees, throwing a sly wink over the officer’s shoulder at Kara.

Kara just shakes her head and smiles. Even almost dying isn’t enough to make Lena not flirt with her. The woman is truly a marvel.

Kara’s comms crackle again, accompanied by Alex’s custom ringtone on her cell, and after assuring the police that she has no issue with giving another statement if they need her to later, hurries over to the DEO (making a quick stop in the back alley to change into her suit).

**

When Kara arrives, she’s told that J’onn and Alex are waiting for her in the Directors’ offices. She makes her way there, waving to the agents and scientists she knows. But it’s very weird, because every time one of them sees her, they start giggling before quickly hurrying off in the opposite direction. Like, literally everyone is whispering and pointing and giggling, and it’s giving Kara such visceral flashbacks to high school that it’s all she can do to not check her cape for a taped on sign that says ‘Kick me’ or ‘Freak’.

(Kids are mean.)

By the time Kara gets to her destination, she’s fully paranoid, sure that someone’s playing a prank on her, somehow, and that everyone but her is in on the joke. She opens the door with more force than intended and catches it just before the handle puts a hole in the wall, throwing Alex and J’onn a sheepish smile. She closes the door extra gently and leans against it heavily. J’onn and Alex just stare at her, looking thoroughly unimpressed.

“Busy day, Supergirl?” Alex asks, and after half a lifetime of spending time with her, Kara recognizes that she, too, is trying not to laugh. 

Kara’s had enough. “Okay, do I have something on my face? Or on the suit? Is someone messing with me?”

J’onn’s brow furrows. “No.”

“Then what’s the deal? Why is the entire DEO like… laughing at me? Did someone accidentally vent the lab fumes out into the main hub again?”

“No.”

“Did someone see me crash into that billboard last week?”

J’onn’s frown deepens. “What?”

“No,” Alex answers.

“Then why is everyone laughing at me?!”

“I mean, if I had to guess, I’d say it’s because of that,” Alex muses, nodding toward the big TV on the wall beside Kara.

She steps back to watch the news coverage of her dealing with the hostage situation this morning and frowns. “What, those guys? That was routine, what’s so funny about tha-”

“No, no, not that. That,” Alex clarifies, cranking up the volume.

“...reports are saying that the CEO of L-Corp, Lena Luthor, experienced an attempt on her life early this afternoon. Sources claim that she fell from a considerable height-”

“Hey, she was pushed,” Kara corrects.

“Shh!”

“...caught by Supergirl, who may have gotten a little… familiar with her.”

And there’s a video (clearly recorded on a cell phone but not the worst quality Kara’s ever seen) of Kara catching Lena and slowing to a stop above the sidewalk, of them talking quietly, of Kara’s hand definitely on Lena’s-

“Oh. Oh no.”

“Oh yes,” Alex drawls, clicking the TV off with relish, a large, evil-big-sister grin spreading across her face. “Congratulations, Supergirl- the world just watched you grope Lena Luthor’s ass.”

“But I’m not- I wasn’t groping, I was catching! My hands weren’t… If it was groping, I’d be all up on her, and I wasn’t!”

“Camera begs to differ. It’s already trending on Twitter in National CIty.”

Kara puts her head in her hands and groans. “Why?! I was trying to save her!”

“You were definitely trying to save part of her,” Alex agrees. “Granted, it’s a very nice part...”

Kara’s head pops up, and she shoots Alex a look that’s between a pout and a glare. “You’re not helping.”

Alex feigns confusion. “Am I supposed to be helping?”

“Alright, enough,” J’onn cuts in before Kara can retort. “We just wanted you to be aware. I don’t think that this is going to be taken for anything more than it is- a humorous moment in the middle of a successful rescue. You shouldn’t worry about the press.”

And truth be told, Kara isn't worried about the press- she’s worried about the fact that she’s going to have to face Lena after this. Lena, who she knows for a fact has google alerts set for herself, Kara Danvers, and Supergirl, a gesture which is normally actually sweet and kind but is right now definitely gonna bite her in the-

“Okay! So, is that all?”

Alex blinks, looks over at J’onn, and shrugs. “I mean, yeah. Try not to make a habit of groping your crush when you’re in the suit.”

“I wasn’t groping her-”

Alex grins. “So you admit you have a crush? Interesting…”

“Alex!”

**

J’onn’s prediction is mostly right- no one seems to be taking the shots of her grabbi- saving Lena as anything other than a funny blip of a moment in their coverage of it.

He was wrong about the sheer scale. The clip had gone totally viral in a matter of hours, and seemingly every major network in the country has run the clip at least once as a bit of filler-fluff, and almost every major network anchor (including the ones at CatCo, the traitors) has made at least a passing joke about Supergirl being ‘Super-Handsy'.

Which means that Kara is very late getting back to Lena’s office with replacement food. But like, she’s been busy, okay? It’s not like she’s avoiding Lena, or something, because she’s embarrassed- which she isn’t, because she didn’t do anything bad or wrong and-

Anyways, it’s well past sunset by the time Kara gets to Lena’s office door again. She hesitates outside it for just a moment before shouldering the door open and knocking tentatively.

Lena’s attention jerks from whatever she’d been absorbed in to Kara, and a relieved smile blooms across her face. “Hey there.”

Kara finds herself equally relieved to not experience a repeat performance of earlier scary situations. “Hi,” Kara says, unable to resist smiling back. She raises the bags and cup carrier. “I bring grease and milkshakes. Again.”

“Oh thank god, I’m starving,” Lena says, rolling her chair away from her desk and rising into a deep and probably much-needed stretch. Kara very determinedly does not stare at the slight sliver of soft tummy that appears between her blouse and skirt at the motion. “I’ve been staring at this screen for several hours. And Sam called to yell at me- she says hello, by the way- she and Ruby are in town next weekend.”

“Good!” Kara crosses the room to the couch as Lena does, easily spreading out the veritable buffet of fast food she’d brought over the coffee table. “I mean, not good that she yelled at you, or that you’re still at work, Miss Luthor,” she says pointedly, receiving only an unapologetic shrug in response. “But good that, um-”

“I get it,” Lena chuckles, resting a hand lightly on Kara’s knee and boy, if that doesn’t make Kara’s brain go fuzzy and dumb again… “Thank you, for checking in.”

“Of course I was gonna check on you, Lena,” Kara huffs. “Plus, I know you probably didn’t get lunch, so…”

Lena hums around a mouthful of burger, chewing until she can politely speak again. “Well it’s delicious. Did you make it yourself?” she teases with a sly grin.

“Oh, yeah, totally. Slaved away over a hot stove for this- I just wrapped it in Big Belly wrappers so you wouldn’t feel bad about it.”

“Very clever.” Lena pops the lid off of her milkshake and drags a fry through it (an advanced culinary delicacy Kara had horrified her with initially but had eventually become a bit of a guilty pleasure). “Although I have to say, traditionally you’d have to buy me dinner before you grabbed my ass.”

Kara chokes on a pickle. “Oh no,” she groans, dropping the burger onto the wrapper on the table and dropping her very red face into her hands as Lena laughs beside her. She peers out from between her fingers. “I am so sorry, I was just worried about you hitting the pavement and like, catching you in the least jarring way and I wasn’t paying attention to where my hands were and I didn’t even notice until I got back to the DEO and-”

“Well I have so say, I feel a bit offended that you didn’t even realize you were copping a feel...” When the only response is another groan and a deep flush spreading from Kara’s neck to the tips of her ears, Lena relents. “Kara, Kara, it’s fine!” she laughs, pulling Kara’s hands away from her face and giving them a grounding squeeze. “Nia’s been sending me memes about it all day, which has improved my mood significantly. On the grand scale of fallout from assassination attempts, this one was at least funny.”

“I know that’s supposed to be comforting, but all it makes me wanna do is wrap you in bubble wrap forever,” Kara informs her.

“Pass on that. But seriously, don’t worry about it- I know it wasn’t on purpose- unfortunately for me, you’re too noble to do something like that,” Lena laments playfully.

And whether it’s the knowledge that Lena is not, in fact, upset, the overall weirdness that has been this day, or this delicious burger fueling it, Kara feels a bit emboldened. “Hey Lena…”

“Yes?”

“What if I wanted to grab your butt? Just, y’know, as a hypothetical. For future reference.”

Lena quirks a brow at her, fighting a smile as she contemplates this. “Hmm. Strictly hypothetically?”

Kara scoots a bit closer on the couch. “Sure.”

 “Well, you’ve already bought me dinner…”

“And lunch, technically. Even if I gave it to the bad guys.”

“True. Plus you saved my life, so that gets you some points, probably.”

Kara pauses in her sly scooching. “Oh, hey, wait, no, that’s not-” 

“Kidding, Kara. I know you’d never use that to your advantage. I, however, have determined that strong moral fibre and nobility do, in fact, earn you more points, which is my choice on the matter and you get absolutely no say in it.”

“Oh. Um, alright, I think.”

Lena stares off into the middle distance, tapping her forefinger thoughtfully against her chin. Finally she shrugs. “Yes, I think you’re fulfilled the prerequisites for a bit of grab-ass today.”

Kara snorts, Lena laughs, and soon enough Kara takes her up on the offer.

**

“Hey Kara, remember that time you grabbed Lena’s ass and it made international news?” Nia asks around a mouthful of mushu pork.

“You mean last week? Yes, I remember,” Kara drawls. Beside her/halfway sitting on her lap, Lena snorts.

“That was the best.”

Alex glares. “Um, excuse you, no. No it was not. I had to sift through so much thirsting over my sister on like, every social media platform. It was the worst day of my life.”

Brainy’s brow furrows. “Surely that cannot be correct, Alex. Statistically speaking-”

Alex holds up a hand, cutting him off. “Trauma can’t be measured, Brainy.”

Kelly chuckles and presses a consoling kiss to Alex’s cheek, and it makes the tough agent melt into a doe-eyed puddle of mush that Kara snorts. And she says they’re gross... Kara sneaks a glance at Lena from the corner of her eye, and she catches Lena looking at her. She leans close and jostles her gently as she drops her head onto Lena’ shoulder. “We’re never gonna live that down, are we?”

“Probably not.”

“We have the worst friends.” When this elicits nothing but a chuckle, Kara tips her head back to see Lena still looking at her, a soft smile playing at her mouth and shining in her eyes. And like, this whole thing they’re doing is new, with the kissing and the actual dates and the... everything else. But the thing where Kara catches Lena looking at her and she doesn’t look away? That freakin’ knocks her out, every single time. “Hey,” she manages.

Lena grins down at her. “Hi.”

So yeah. Maybe the initial circumstances weren’t ideal, and she doesn’t love the mockery that’s been heaped upon her by all of her friends and loved ones (including Winn, who’d sent a missive from the future that literally just said ‘LOL’). But the fact is, Kara muses as she surges up just enough to kiss the corner of Lena’s mouth, that she doesn’t regret a thing.

[novamirmirsblog]

This was what I based it off: OH MY GOD THE SPIDEY DUO!! Now all they need is matching t-shirts or jackets, saying that! I like to imagine Reader just randomly one day set two boxes in front of Natasha and Peter and just said with pride “OPEN IT AND THANK ME LATER!”

SPIDEY DUO PART 4(?)

Things had been going great between the three of you.

You couldn't call yourselves the spider trio because you had nothing to do with spiders.

In fact, you hated them. Bar Natasha and Peter, of course.

It was coming up to a year since Peter had called Natasha his aunt and you wanted to do something special.

You knew Natasha secretly felt a lot of pressure for the day. She didn't know what to do or even if Peter would remember.

Both Peter and Natasha had come to you separately to voice the same concerns.

They were both worried that the other wasn't as excited as they were and that they were making a big deal out of nothing. You had tried convincing both of them that it was perfectly fine, that the other was just as excited as them, but it didn't work.

When the day finally rolled around, neither had anything planned.

It was a good job you knew months in advance how stress-y the two of them would get (because they were already showing signs that they were invested in this day) because you had a plan.

First, you corralled the two of them into your car and drove them to a park (the same one that Natasha had taken Peter to when you hadn't been able to pick him up)

Then, you drove them to a theme park (because Peter loved them and it was funny to see the most badass assassin become pale with fear as the ride did another loop-de-loop.)

Finally, you drove them back to the compound. You weren't too upset about being a glorified taxi because the smiles on Natasha and Peters face was the best thing you could have saw. Once the three of you were in the compound, you ushered them to a sofa and told them to sit and wait.

You grabbed two boxes from the vents. You had had to hide them because Natasha is naturally suspicious and Peter likes to rummage.

You bought out two boxes and placed them in their laps, grinning like crazy.

"What have you done?" Natasha shook the box gently.

"Thanks Auntie Y/n!" Peter just stroked the box

"No no, the box isn't the gift." You laughed as both of your spiders looked at you confused. "Open them! And I expect great acts of thanks later."

"But it's such a pretty box..." Peter said as he opened it.

Inside the two boxes, were matching t-shirts. Peter's said 'If spidey nephew found, return to spidey aunt' and Natasha's said 'Spidey aunt'.

You expected them to laugh but they didn't. You thought you had got it completely wrong before they both turned to each other and hugged, waving you into the hug.

They wore those tops every day for a month. You told them they really had to stop because the team were getting annoyed that they were constantly telling each other over the comms that they were wearing the top.

They even wore them to Tony's fancy dinner thing. A black tie event and the two of them were in their matching tops with grins that could light up the whole of New York after dark.

You eventually had to hide them because they were getting worn out very quickly. You were obviously overjoyed that they were so happy but they really needed to wear different clothes every so often.

The paparazzi were annoyed that it looked like they had taken the same picture of Natasha and Peter every day for a month. Plus, you didn't want Natasha wearing that when you went out on date nights. Not all the time anyway.

You hid the tops in the one place neither of them looked, the laundry.

Considering you did their laundry all the time you figured that they would never find them. If they did find them, then they could keep them because it meant they were finally doing their own damn clothes which meant you wouldn't have to see those cursed tops every 5 minutes.

[supercorpkid]

There’s a first time for everything.

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader

Word count: 2890.

“How exactly did this happen?” Jamie looks at the F in your test and you roll your eyes to the sight of it. This is bad. This is really bad.

“I didn’t have time to study. But it’s ok, I’ll study for the next one.” You say, agreeing with your head to make Jamie and Maya’s worried expression ease up a little.

“Babe, you should’ve told me you needed to study. We could have had a study session or something.” They’re still worried. You look at Jamie raising one eyebrow, so she knows there’s more to the story. It takes her a few seconds, but she seems to finally realize your life is more complicated than stupid French tests.

“Oh, it’s a one-time thing.” Jamie says dismissing it with her hand. “It’s good, now you know what the rest of us feel when we don’t go so well.”

“Yeah. It’s great.” You joke with a smile, and that seems to be what’s necessary to make Maya less worried.

“We’ll study together for the next one.” She says and you agree.

It’s just when her mom picks her up from school, that you can tell Jamie what was really going on with you.

“Ok, so what really happened?” Jamie asks and you breathe deep before starting.

“Ok, it all started the night before when Kara put her head inside my bedroom to ask me:

“Hey kid. What are you up to?”

I looked up from the books I was organizing on my table to start studying. And since I thought it was something fast, I answered. “Nothing.” While obviously ignoring the books in front of me.

Then she went on like “Well. There is a big commotion downtown, a bunch of aliens got together to destroy some things and the whole place is a mess.” And I just shook my head agreeing because I thought she just went to tell me why she was leaving. But, like, she kept going and she asked me: “Do you want to come with me? I figured we could use some help.”

I was beaming in excitement ‘cause you know it’s kind of hard for Kara to just admit she needs help, so I thought there was probably a hell of a mess there. Which means she really did need my help, right? So, I was like “Wait! Really?”

She smiled too. “Sure! Go put on your-” But I used my super speed to change and I was in front of her all suited up in a blink of an eye. “Suit.”

“Let’s do it!” I ran out of the bedroom feeling like I could fly away just by being invited to it. You know it’s all I ever wanted. Kara seeing me as a person who could back her up during trial times. I was almost out of the house when I heard Lena’s voice from the living room and I came back to kiss her goodnight. So, she was like:

“Where are you guys heading to?”

And Kara said, check this out:

“I need back-up for this fight.”

I mean, she literally said the words I was so eager to hear and my smile just grew wider.

“I’m back-up!” I said, beaming in excitement.

But, well, you know my mom. She immediately went like:

“It’s school night.” She looked at momma. “She needs a good night of sleep.” Like I wasn’t even there to speak for myself! But lucky for me Kara said:

“Don’t worry, love. She’ll help me stop the aliens and bring them to the DEO, and I’ll do the clean up part.” Kara assured mom, who let out a sigh, like she does whenever she knows she is defeated.

“Are you sure you want to go?” She asked, putting her hand on my shoulder. And honestly, I don’t know what she was expecting. Did she think I was going to say no? Anyways, I obviously answered:

“Oh my God, yes! Don’t worry mom, I can handle it.”

Then she was like: “Ok, then. Don’t take too long.” She kissed my cheek, and then Kara’s mouth. “Be careful. Both of you.”

Then I looked at momma, still smiling, and she smiled back super excited. I just couldn’t believe I was going out to have adventures with Supergirl! I always thought I would have to sneak out with Superboy to have them, but then like, momma invited me to it!

So anyways, I tagged along to fight some hellgrammites that were causing trouble downtown. And like, dude, Aunt Alex gave me an earpiece for communication and Rao it felt so good to be a part of the team!

And she would talk to me through it. Jamie, I swear it’s as fun as you can think. So, aunt Alex was like:

“Superkid, be careful with the spikes. They’re strong enough to penetrate metal, it could harm you.”

And Kara was like:

“They also possess superhuman strength.”

And I was like:

“Okay, guys. I know hellgrammites, just chill.”

But like, aunt Alex went on:

“If you can’t win, try using their own spike against them as a last resource, Superkid.” And I was like ‘ok’, And then I hit one so hard he was thrown to a post light, and it bent, and made the light flicker. It was so funny, but I obviously couldn’t say that, so instead I said:

“Sorry. I’ll fix that!” And I flew to him, looking at the spike on his hand. Then I made my voice sound stronger and said: “You can come willingly or I can make you.”

“Pff.” It was his answer. What a dumbass, right? So, I had to keep using my strong voice.

“Got it. I’ll make you.” And then I punched his face a few times until he was unable to recover, and put him in cuffs. And I was so happy I yelled: “Got one!”

I looked at Supergirl, who had already caught the other three. She gave me thumbs up and a smile. Well. At least I kinda helped, right?

“Bring him to containment at the DEO.” I heard Alex’s voice through the comm, and picked up his floppy body and made my way towards Supergirl.

I asked if she was ready and she agreed with her head. So, I picked one other guy up, throwing each one over my shoulders, and I flew into the DEO with Supergirl, putting all four of them in a cell.

Aunt Alex was looking proud of me, which is incredible. You know the feeling! And she went like. “Great work, kiddo!”

“Thanks! That was fun, it was like playing video-game!” I said making them laugh. But then Supergirl went:

“Ok, time to go home. I’ll go clean up the mess they made, and I’ll meet you back there in a bit.” And she was ready to fly away when I held her hand.

“I can help. Still early.” I said pointing at my watch, but I lied ‘cause it was already late. Supergirl narrowed her eyes at me, and I knew she was going to say no, so I said: “At least let me unbend the post light.”

So she went:

“Ok. Let’s go.” Supergirl flew and I flew behind her.

In the end, I ended up helping her clean up everything, and we had to sneak in home so Lena didn’t see what time we made it back home.

And then, when I laid in bed, I was feeling exhausted, but I was so tired that it was really hard for me to fall asleep, so I missed my first wake-up call with Kara knocking at my door, and when Lena woke me up a while later, I was so tired it was hard to focus. But I could never tell her that, ‘cause she would be pissed since she was right in the first place. So, I rolled out of bed and came to school.

The problem was that it takes a lot of effort to shut off my super hearing and pay attention to the test, and I wasn’t able to do that while feeling so tired, hence my F.”

“Well, at least you had a good time supering yesterday.” Jamie says after you finish your story and you agree with your head catching your breath.

“It was awesome! Even your mom looked impressed.” You lean over a pillar and look at her. “Except Lena will be so mad that I got a bad grade, because I was supering.”

“Oh, come on. You can’t do everything. Save National City and get a good grade the very next day.” She said and you think about it. No, you can’t do everything, but you’re supposed to. Besides, school is more important than saving National City since Supergirl could have done it all by herself, clearly.

But Lena doesn’t need to know, does she? It’s not lying if she doesn’t ask you about it, so there’s no reason you will run to tell her about it, right? Right. It’s fine. You’re fine.

But you’re not fine.

“Hey, babygirl!” Lena says when she walks in home later that day, your soul almost leaves your body. You jump so high in your chair; she furrows her brows at that. “What are you doing?”

“Having a heart attack!” You put your hand on your chest, and you feel your heart beating fast.

“You shouldn’t get scared so easily. You have super hearing.” She points out and you think about it for a second. She is right, you shouldn’t.

“I was distracted.” You defend yourself, and Lena comes closer to kiss your head. She looks at the books in front of you.

“Ooh, français. Très bien!” She jokes.

“Mhm, yeah.” You smile through the pain you’re feeling to just blurt it out right there. It’s very hard not to say anything. You hate keeping secrets from your moms. “How’s-How was work?”

“Oh, you know Fridays and meetings. They don’t usually go well together.” Lena says that grabbing a bottle of wine and a glass. “But at least we have family night today, right?”

“Right.” You smile and she excuses herself for a shower (glass of wine in hand), while you finish studying.

Kara gets home a while later with dinner in both hands, but she still manages to push your books out of the way so she can put them on the table. She ended up dropping all of your books on the floor, and you smile at her.

“Sorry, little one.” She bends out to help you with it, and you hear a loud gasp.

“What?” You ask surprised, and you look at what she’s pointing at. “Oh no. Oh no.”

“You got an F?” She yells in pure shock, and your eyes widen at the sound of that.

“Shhh! Will you keep it down, please?” You lower your glasses to make sure Lena is still in the bedroom and can’t hear you. Lucky for you that’s the case.

“An F!” Kara’s still shocked. She picks up your tests and reads it. “You were aware it was a French test, right?”

“Um, yes?”

“Because I’m pretty sure this is English, this is a math equation? And would you look at that! You wrote stuff in kryptonese! I’m not sure she could understand that.” She keeps looking at it, making you blush in embarrassment until you pull it out of her hands.

“I was… distracted.” You say, putting it inside of your book, and looking back at her. “Please, don’t tell mom.”

“Kid-”

“Please, mommy.” You try with your sweetest voice. “I’ll study harder for the next one and I’ll get an A, just please. Please. For me?”

“Don’t.” Kara looks at your pouting face and you can see she’s very inclined on hiding this with you. But she blinks twice looking away. “No, that won’t work. The pouting, and the ‘please for me’ bit. You know we don’t do lies in this house.”

“That’s not fair!” You cross your arms, upset. “Last week mom asked you if you ate all the chicken parm and you said no.”

“Are you serious?”

“You broke three glasses when you closed that cupboard a little too strong yesterday, and you told her nothing was broken.”

“Nothing important was broken.”

“Momma!” You pout again. “It’s not fair.” You hear Lena opening the bedroom door and making her way to where both of you are, and you raise an inquisitive eyebrow at Kara.

“Hey honey.” Lena says making her way behind the counter for another glass of wine. She looks at both of you having a stare down on the other side.

“One of us is going to tell her and she would rather if it was you.” Kara whispers close to your face, and you know Lena can’t hear her. You frown, and can’t believe Kara would do that. You can’t believe she won’t have your back about this.

“What’s-” Lena clears her throat, calling your attention back to her. “What’s going on?”

“Oh. Hi, love.” Kara makes her way to the other side of the counter and kisses Lena’s mouth. “Your daughter has got something important to tell you. I’ll go shower so we can have dinner and watch a movie.”

Kara leaves the kitchen and Lena raises her eyebrows at you, encouraging you to start. You don’t. You just look at her, and the book where your test lays inside. And you think about a lie. But you know you won’t lie, so it makes no sense for you to think of one in the first place. So, you get your test out of the book, and you come closer, holding on to it like it’s suddenly going to make it turn into an A instead.

“I, um, have something to tell you.” You sit on the other side of the counter, and she looks at the paper you’re clinging to so desperately. She does her eyebrow raise, and your heart feels like it’s going to stop with the thought of disappointing and upsetting her. Your mouth feels dry, your palms feel sweaty. It’s a whole ‘is this what a heart attack feels like?’ situation, before you can get your words out. “I didn’t do so well on a test.”

“Ok.” It’s what Lena says. She raises her hand at you, and you wince when you realize she will look at it. “Can I see it?” She pushes, once she realizes you’re still clinging to it, like holding onto a wrecked life-boat.

“Can’t you just take my word for it?” It’s your last desperate self-preserving act. Lena shows you her hand again, and you know that’s a clear ‘no’. “Ok.” You breathe out, handing her the paper. She takes it and looks at it, with furrowed eyebrows.

“Didn’t do well.” As in she’s saying that’s a very light way to put what she’s looking at.

“I’m sorry. I’ll do better next time, I promise!” You blurt out. “Please, don’t make me stop supering. Please. I swear it was a one-time thing. This won’t happen ever again.”

Lena puts the test down, goes around the counter and stops in front of you, while you still rumble your apologies. She doesn’t say a word which is very distressing. You wish she would just yell and ground you, just do something, instead of radio silent like right now.

“Ok.” She finally lets out. Ok? What does ok mean? “You’ll do better next time.” And then she hugs you. You take a few seconds to wire your brain and acknowledge what’s happening, before wrapping your arms around her, and letting out a breath you’ve been holding the entire time.

“So, you’re not mad?” You ask, still in shock. Lena gives you a chuckle and whispers softly in your ear.

“I’m not mad.” She tries to move away, but you hold her tightly.

“Still hugging, still hugging.” You say, earning another chuckle from her, and she doesn’t move away. “So, I can still go supering with momma?”

“You can still go supering.” She whispers again.

“And I’m not grounded?” You ask again, and you feel Lena moving to kiss your cheek. You smile, very happy.

“And you’re very much grounded.” She whispers, and finally lets go of you, with a bop on your nose. “But nice try.” Lena gets her wine glass and looks at you with a soft expression. “Can I just ask you a favor?”

“Anything.” You’re so happy she’s not mad, and that you can still go supering, whatever she says, you’ll do.

“That physics formula it’s exactly what I was needing for an experiment. May I steal it?” She smiles, making you smile back.

“Really? Wow, it’s almost like I wrote that for you.” And you have, in fact, because you were listening to her during your entire test. And you feel like she somehow knows that because the English part is the explanation she was giving about the experiment, then you wrote the formula she was trying to come up with, and the kryptonese part actually says ‘I love you, mom’. So, you figured she must have put two and two together and she possibly knows.

“Oh, and babygirl?” Lena adds, looking at you from her wine glass. “Khap ukiem rrip, inah*.”

Yeah. She knows.

Notes:

*Khap ukiem rrip, inah = I love you, daughter*

[januaryisnotanartist]

So, funny you mention this.

In the more Sci-fi side of the AU’s in my brain I actually have the literal crackiest sci-fi AU, which is actually an actor AU. (like, it could work as a straight up space AU, but the way it happened in my head, it was as the actor AU) I know it’s not really related but I’mma tell you all anyway.

(Don’t worry, I won’t also drop the “bullshit science” Jiaoren concept... today...)

-

Liu Sang is the sound guy/general behind the scenes stuff idk, for a pretty popular star trek type show, which stars the Iron triangle in the main roles.

The show they play is basically Lost Tomb, but, you know, In Space. They go around finding lost colonies and civilizations and *ahem* preserving the antiquities as best as they can despite the cults and alarming amount of defunct tech that tries to kill Wu Xie’s character every time.

The show itself has a surprisingly heavy ad-lib script, (like, there’s a proper script, but the actors are allowed and encouraged to adjust the lines and stuff on the fly based on their understanding of their own characters) so set technicians hang out in ‘uniform’ in case they need to fix something on set, they can just ~blend~ with the background extras.

During one take of a bridge scene in which Wu Xie’s character (the captain of the space ship) is supposed to be doing a thing on the computer, he hits the wrong button because the programs used for the ship’s systems has been updated and Wu Xie didn’t read the memo and now the prop screen is beeping incessantly.

Sound/tech guy Liu Sang, who normally hangs out as a comm. tech extra (communication technician, like Uhura and Hoshi sato) during bridge scenes, slides over and turns off the annoying beeping, gives Wu Xie the bitchiest of faces, and says “and this is why we read about the system updates when the ship receives upgrades.” Then shows Wu Xie how to use the new user interface for the scene he’s supposed to be filming.

No one breaks character.

The cameras don’t stop rolling, and what should have been a blooper becomes the actual scene, and Liu Sang’s accidental cameo comm. tech becomes a surprise fan favourite.

So Liu Sang, despite not being an actor, keeps getting cameos, and then he winds up being actually involved in plot lines.

And then finally, his character (referred to only as “Jinx” because of Liu Sang’s on set nickname which Pangzi used during the first cameo) dies in an explosion saving the rest of the crew.

end of season.

the fans go livid.

Then they begin the conspiracies, or maybe the conspiracies had already started by then, because comm. tech Jinx wasn’t actually Liu Sang’s first cameo on the show.

He’d previously played space assassin Wang Can, a minor character during a cult arc, and he’d also played a hacker friend of a friend of Xiazi’s known only as Geist, since the character had a small scene but the actual actor had dropped out last minute and they didn’t have time for a recast for what was essentially a blurry profile shot in front of a computer.

All three characters had been played at different stages of Liu Sang’s hair journey, but speculation abounds on how the three might be related.

There are, of course those who think the trio are unrelated and just happened to be played by the same actor.

The cast and writers of the show listen to the fans and in the end it comes down to Liu Sang’s choice, since he was the one who’d asked to kill off Jinx because he’d failed to realise how much the audience loved his accidental character, and he’d wanted to go back to his normal job.

Liu Sang relents, and they come up with a way to bring him back. They listen to the fan theories, and craft their response, pulling on lore that they’d only skimmed in the show.

A few episodes into the next season, fans are outraged at the lack of mourning for Jinx, but there’s fans who pull apart a few strange turns of phrase from the main crew.

Then several episodes in, it happens.

The ship takes a detour to pick up the ‘new’ comm. tech to fill Jinx’s role.

*unknown planet - system (the one Wu Xie just had the ship set a course to)*

In front of a computer monitor, a familiar silhouette resolves into Geist, (aka, Liu Sang with the floppy black hair (from the time he fought a haunted paint can)) as a notice pops up on his screen:

J-1-NX : Restoration 100%

Geist wanders down through a series of hallways until he comes to a room in which is a large pod/tub like structure. Geist calls out “gege, are you awake now?”, and the top of the pod opens to reveal a pool of funky coloured liquid from which our regularly scheduled Liu Sang Jinx emerges.  wet and naked

Over the next few episodes Jinx’s backstory and connection to both Geist and Wang Can are revealed: They’re members of a clone army that were made for a war centuries ago, equipped with neural downloading so the folks in charge didn’t have to retrain a new replacement every time one was killed (think Cylons from the Galactica reboot) and so secret, hard earned information wasn’t lost. But most batches never saw the field because the war finished before they were needed, and they were put into long term storage.

And then they were forgotten.

And then a few systems malfunctioned and several (dozen?) clones were released from stasis.

Wang Can is back in perma-stasis after going crazy and joining a galactic death cult, but Jinx, Geist (G-31-ST) and several other clones (not all of the same physical model) are running around the galaxy.

J Series were espionage units, designed to have heightened hearing and linguistic comprehension.  1 is actually 001, first of his batch, NX, which were the first batch capable of doing what they were designed to do, with out suffering overstimulation/audio overload every ten minutes.

G series were designed to be good with computer programming. (hackers.)

Wang Can is from a front line series, one with a habit of going homicidal even without repeatedly dying.