#my jokes
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bramblebrine-art · 11 months ago
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seteth told him to only file an incident report for hubert if he STOPS sending death threats. he sends one each week to all the faculty in an exquisite, wax-sealed envelope and the rest usually happen during brawling tutoring.
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shyjusticewarrior · 4 months ago
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We should call Nightwing Bruce the dildo. Ya know, cause he's a fake Dick.
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nastasya--filippovna · 3 months ago
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Woman (walks into police station:) I need to report a crime. I've been SA'ed
Alec Hardy: What were you wearing?
Alec Hardy: ... Because we need that outfit to get DNA samples from so we can nail the filthy criminal bastard.
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untamedeventuality · 1 year ago
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hi, this is your bank calling, we noticed some unusual activity on your account. yeah, you haven’t bought yourself a little treat this week, are you okay? oh you’re saving up for a big treat, thanks so much for letting us know we’ll unfreeze your account have a wonderful day
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crunkmouse · 8 months ago
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Patrick McKenna: Mr. Langdon! They’ve left another note with a new ambigram!
Robert Langdon: Show me!
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Patrick McKenna: What does it mean?
Robert Langdon: Nice
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ichangemyusertoomuch · 1 year ago
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rainehill · 3 months ago
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Dog trying to figure out how to turn on the TV
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dust-dust-dust · 2 months ago
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yoursghouly · 6 months ago
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ihop: international house of phantoms
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somewhere-city · 2 months ago
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id be a better beatle than george if we're being real
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pumkshrark · 1 year ago
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Harold Jenkins as a child: *approaches Reggie and asks to adopt him claiming that he was born with the guys on the same day and that he also has superpowers*
Also Harold when Reggie did not believe him and rude:
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bramblebrine-art · 1 year ago
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the funniest thing in d2 remains the drifter's unyielding insistence that you're doing something huge and forbidden that no one's ever done before by sniping someone every now and then in gambit while shaxx is right down the road making up new ways for a lightbearer to be drawn and quartered each week
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shyjusticewarrior · 10 months ago
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"Superman is the most powerful man in DC-"
Wrong, it's Bernard Dowd. He manifested his crush's queer awakening.
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random-dragon-exe · 10 months ago
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The steps to becoming a Disney Villain:
Be extra
Call everyone a fool
Slay (literally and figuratively)
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gloopdimension · 1 year ago
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what do you call a white person who kicks you in the balls
a nutcracker
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ichangemyusertoomuch · 1 year ago
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Ehehhe
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