#my insides are still hurting

[diurnalvl]

seven years ago, they used to be friends. almost.

1 / 2 / ?

[jadewritesficshere]

Steddie x female!reader thought 18+ only

Eddie blinks his eyes a couple of times to make sure he is actually seeing what he is seeing. He must be living in a nightmare.

You're laying back on one of the pool loungers. One leg dangling over the edge keeping your foot on the warm cement ground, the other spread over Steve's lap as he absently rubs his hand up and down it while he bitches to you about something from work. Your hand rubs up and down Steve's back in comfort. But that isn't the nightmare.

Your bright red bikini bottoms covering enough, but with your legs spread a bit more skin is shown then intended. Spread in such a way that makes Eddie want to just dive in. Get on his knees and worship you, rub his face over your mound as he licks and nips and sucks. Moan as the curly thatch of hair brushes against his face.

Except the curls of hair he is expecting to see peeking around your bikini are gone. Just smooth bare skin. And that isn't the only nightmare. Steve's chest is smooth like when he was in school on the swim team. Not a speck of that beautiful chest hair Eddie would curl into after getting hot and heavy. Not a single curl of the "love rug" he jokingly called it.

Eddie wants to weep. To throw himself down like a little kid and thrash his arms and legs around. Yeah, it's your body and you can do what you want, but he still is sad its gone. Eddie doesn't like change, and suddenly walking in to see both of his partners change something without any warning? Uncomfortable. It makes Eddie feel itchy.

Eddie can barely speak as he walks over and sits next to Steve. He doesn't respond to Steve's warm greeting. Doesn't respond to you asking how the day is. Just stares with big wet eyes at the sight in front of him. A pout on his lips.

A warm hand lands on his shoulder, gently squeezing. Steve's brow furrowed in concern, your wide eyes blinking at him.

"Shaved?" Eddie asks in a quiet voice, eyes darting to Steve's chest and then your clothed pussy. Steve lets out a huff of laughter, "Fuck, thought something was wrong man." Eddie glares," It is."

[vynnyal]

Turns out Sunlit Trail isn't quite done just yet, so after all that they just send you to a dead end 😂

[sysig]

Obviously I had to make it a thing (Patreon)

Spoilers for Handplates! Make sure you’re all caught up before continuing!

I ended up scene-picking around the timeline at pretty-much-random, whatever I thought fit the lyrics the best in the moment of blinding inspiration (lol), but now that I’ve got the basics down to paper, I think I’d more carefully choose in mostly-chronological order. That also means some would have to be cut, so I want to show them off here! :D I also drew them all from memory so if there’s inconsistencies, that’s why lol

For example this is one of the very early lyrics, but the events take place well down the timeline! I’m sure I can find a good stand in - mostly I just wanted to draw Papyrus from this scene, ugh I love him ♥ And the lyrics do fit!

Looking back to Sans for reassurance haha. I changed a few of the lyrics to be more Papyrus-specific -

- also featured here! He’s got the Gaster pose going on here hehe, and cutting around in time of him in Snowdin and also back at Asgore’s, him reassuring Asgore about Sans’ HP is so cute, I had to make reference to it haha

Happiest little sibling spinnies <3 <3 Probably the cutest panel of the whole bunch honestly haha ♥ Their little faces!! Ugh 💕

One of those instances of the lyrical contradictions, and I think I would keep this jump forward - everything has changed! And they’re really not okay, but they have each other

The one makes me laugh honestly, a bit dark lol. All their safe people, except for the two that take up the rear of each. I mean, technically it’s not inaccurate with Flowey’s, he won’t be alone! Unfortunately. The human, well

Started settling into a rhythm by this point, and rather pleased for it :) Poor Papyrus! He didn’t do anything wrong and he still has all these sad feelings about it!

All catching up to him :( You can only run from and ignore your problems for so long - this line feels so him, dealing with what their world is and all that entails, poorly

I appreciate the fact that Papyrus has this dream several times, it fits lots of places! Gaster look what you did to him even when you don’t exist anymore

Papyrus as an adult! Though he also is in the one with him and Sans dream-sharing. Things start breaking real bad for him, I’m still not over how good this song is lol

I did admittedly go a little over-the-top with these, he was not crying this much but I just jsalfdjfds this scene is so- much. So much! The lyrics goaded me, blame them haha - and also the attention to his neck! Even if it’s not in reference to choking on tears specifically, still drawn to the same place! I love Sans going to comfort him as well as rally him ahhhhh

I got his Soul glitches wrong haha, but seriously! This song, I swear!!

A bit of irony - he’s being heard! So much! Just not listened to. I am so enamoured with his pose callbacks throughout the entire comic ugh, so beautifully done

Handing off the song for a moment to someone who actually can rewind it - I don’t think I’ve ever drawn a Genocide Run human now that I think of it :0 It was so satisfying to draw Gaster kneeling on the ground like that haha, contact points were - on point ✨ for this doodle session hehehe

Originally I had his glow coloured in purple but this was one that I actually went back to look at (because I love this scene so much hhgggg <3 <3 <3) and had to change to his natural colour - he deserves it!! He’s earned it!!

I’ve honestly fallen more in love with this song through him and vice versa haha ♪ It’d be quite a bit before/if I could make a full version, even just with what I’ve got here, but it was so fun to draw at all ♥

[transmechanicus]

Really fucked up that two ppl can care about each other and make their best efforts to communicate and still end up hurting each other so badly they cannot stand to be in the same room.

[thedreadvampy]

sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'

[unriding]

hi evie !! how have you been ? :33 i hope you dont mind me borrowing you and moze for something ehehe <3

[theshiningcrusader]

every two to three months i am reminded of hellpark pocket and it makes me go crazy. expect a redesign or ramblings

[thelostgirl21]

Are you trying to hurt my feelings?

[frosteaart]

After seeing both your ghost trick arts my brain is buzzing about an immortal ghost king danny and his Nekomata friend sissel 👀👀👀

they would be unstoppable i think

[aikuse]

springboarding off of orgasm struggle + using toys...where are my mishaps during sex. where are my "wrong hole" and laughter afterwards moments. where are my "my knees hurt" while riding so you switch positions. where are my "that hurts" mentions and your f/o slows down or angles differently so it feels better for you. where are my normalized moments that happen during actual sex and not ripped from a pornhub video

[total-drama-brainrot]

Question about p! Noah..

How would he hypothetically react to being stabbed. (Accidentally) Like not a deadly stab wound but one big enough for it to be considered concerning.

How would the rest of the cast react?

Ok so what I'm asking is how committed is p! Noah to the bit? How for would he go in such a serious situation. Maybe he didn't care at all and walked around bleeding? Maybe he was only thinking of ways to torment the others using this to his advantage. Idk.

Also love this au sm!!

"Hypothetically", just say you want to stab him. This is a safe space, I'm not judging. ...Okay I'm judging a little bit.

I actually have a few thoughts about reactions to stabbings, as someone who's been involved in more than my fair share of them, and generally I think a lot of people don't tend to understand just how much it fucking hurts to be stabbed, even when it's non-fatal. It is a very painful experience, even with the added anaesthetic of adrenaline, and seeing just how often media portrays people walking off stab wounds or regarding them as little more than scratches is just. Infuriating.

Now, I personally headcanon Noah as someone with a fairly high pain tolerance. This is backed by a lot of the bone-crushing and otherwise painful experiences he suffers through in the show and is generally able to shrug off without complaint (and really, Noah would realistically have so much chronic pain after World Tour in particular, given how much he's crushed, tossed and thrown about in that season alone). But that doesn't mean I think he can just brute-force his way through acting unconcerned by a literal stab wound.

Even p!Noah wouldn't have that unwavering of a constitution, and he's crazy. Though I do think he'd make a good effort of maintaining his persona as the unflappable unstable wildcard, he'd be quick to abscond from the situation at hand and treat the wound. Again, that shit hurts, and it's really hard to keep up any pretences under the pain of a stab wound, so getting himself out of the situation as fast as possible would be his top priority- the less time he spends around the others in his vulnerable state, the slimmer the chances are of them seeing behind his mask of mania to the scared person hidden behind it.

Because his detachment from reality is the vast majority of his defence mechanism game plan; if Noah allows himself to be seen as anything but the psychopath he's portrayed himself as- either by the audience or the now aware cast- he's lost practically everything he's spent seasons building up on camera. Letting himself be seen as vulnerable or even affected by something as "inconsequential" as a stab would is a no-go, so he'd stutter out a few witty zingers and bounce.

(Which is an incredibly unhealthy mindset to have, but p!Noah isn't exactly mentally sound even without his exaggerated persona. His commitment to The Bit is strong enough for him to momentarily disregard his physical wellbeing, but not enough to grant him the ability to completely ignore it.)

It'd play out something like this:

---

Noah's eyes momentarily widened in shock as he felt the cold steel of Duncan's knife embed itself into the meat of his upper thigh. The pain was searingly sharp, molten agony burning like lava in his veins, and the bookworm found himself reflexively stumbling backwards from the punk.

"Did you just stab me?" He asked incredulously, sparing a glance down towards the weapon sticking out of his now ruined cargo shorts. The sight was almost comedic; Noah's oversized shorts rested against the hilt of the knife like cushions, completely blanketing the wound beneath them. He was almost amused enough to laugh, but the constant screaming of his nerves had his laughter congealing against the back of his throat with the rest of his saliva, leaving his mouth uncomfortably dry.

Duncan, in turn, seemed just as shocked by the turn of events. The delinquent's terrified blue eyes darted from Noah's face to the knife jutting out of his thigh. Which prompted the cynic to contort his grimace into a toothy grin, as any sign of weakness here would completely ruin his carefully cultivated image, though the edges of his smile were soured by the constant throbbing pain in his leg.

Truly, it was Noah's own fault. He shouldn't've provoked the stab-happy jailbird, but messing with Duncan was just too fun an opportunity to pass up.

"Oh fuck! Oh shit, dude, I'm so sorry!"

And he really was. Noah could tell by the shaky panic in his voice, the bulging of his ice-blue eyes, and the way Duncan seemed to curl self-consciously into himself. Not that the pessimist thought he had any right to act to timid- he was the one with the knife in his leg.

Again, Noah wanted nothing more than to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Here he was, stood before the resident metal-faced punk, brandishing the other's knife deep in the flesh of his thigh like some sort of twisted fashion statement. Every minor twitch and spasm of his muscles had white-hot agony lick at the back of his mind like flames, matching the welling heat of pained tears he desperately choked down; Noah refused to cry in front of Duncan, refused to let the other know just how much pain he was in.

He took a few tentative steps backwards, edging towards the exit of the Economy Cabin and towards the relative safety of the Confessional. Each step was a test in his composure, as every time he put even the slightest bit of weight onto his pierced leg Noah felt liquid hot torture bubble through his veins.

"Wow. I know you offered to give me a piercing, but don't you think this is a bit much?" Noah snarked, playing off the unsteady tightness of his voice as mirth with a humourless giggle, and disguising the wince he couldn't quite subdue as a cocky tilting of his head.

Noah placed a steadying hand on the doorframe of the exit, never once turning his back to his assaulter or letting his feral grin falter, as his tear-fogged eyes scanned across the cabin. He'd made it to the exit, but really needed a moment to catch his breath. It was so hard to breath around the sharp, burning pain.

The cynic felt, more than saw, the concerned looks the other occupants of Economy were shooting him. In fact, both Owen and Alejandro had jumped from their seats to, assumedly, assist him. That wouldn't do- Noah staunchly refused to show any semblance of helplessness in front of Alejandro. The latino's hero complex and overblown ego would never let Noah hear the end of it, and making himself even the slightest bit sympathetic in front of their audience would offset the persona he'd worked so hard to maintain.

Damn his team and their inconstant bouts of humanity; concern was the last thing Noah wanted! The whole situation was jeopardising his image! He'd have to do something drastic to stop his well intentioned teammates from following him- something crazy.

"I'm keeping this, by the way."

The bookworm yanked the knife from it's nested perch in is thigh, scattering scarlet droplets of blood in its wake, and brandished his newfound weapon with performative flourish. It hurt like a bitch, and Noah had to force down a shudder at the feeling of his own rapidly welling blood as it began to trickle down his leg like molasses in rivulets of crimson. No doubt his shorts would be ruined, not that they weren't already.

A resounding cry of disbelief rattled through the cabin, though Noah payed it no mind.

It... probably wasn't the best idea, ripping the knife out of his stab wound. But Noah was nothing if not committed to his act, and it wasn't as if he could just re-plug the bleeding with the knife.

Unless? ...No, no that was stupid. The persistent throbbing pain of his sluggishly bleeding wound was probably just messing with his head.

It was, however, satisfying to watch the well-intentioned concern on the other's faces drain into white-faced revulsion and terror, as Noah playfully began to spin the blood soaked weapon between his fingers. Both Owen and Alejandro came to a halt a few meters away from him, the Spaniard in particular seemed to recoil at the stray droplets of the cynic's blood as his face took on a peculiar green tinge.

And Duncan stood shell-shocked in his original position, apparently still stunned by disbelief by his own actions. Not that Noah cared, but it was a little ironic to him; the big bad delinquent couldn't handle the ramifications of his own violence. How sad, Noah's heart was just bleeding for him- or was it his leg? It was hard to tell, the rapid loss of blood made his deductive skills a little wonky.

"Thanks for the gift, Duncey. Toodles!~"

With that, Noah skittered his way out of the cabin, leaving a trail of scarlet behind him.

"Dude, what the fuck."

---

And then p!Noah hobbles his way to the Confessional to treat his stab wound and stop the bleeding. And probably has a little cry over it because ouch, being stabbed hurts. (Obviously he'd muffle the sounds of his sobs and agonised hissed breaths as he deals with the wound- he wouldn't want anyone overhearing his moment of weakness.)

Then, of course, he remembers that the Confessional is decked out with a camera and quickly re-masks into his usual persona and waxes poetic about how pretty he looks covered in his own blood, and how Duncan was so generous in gifting him his prized knife, and how Noah would love to repay the favour. Or something along those lines.

Duncan in this scenario would have the added bonus of not only dealing with the guilt of stabbing someone, but also the paranoia of Noah's rebuttal. Of which Noah would relish in, because of course he would.

As for the others, Noah would make a conscious and continuous effort to keep them as unconcerned with his wellbeing as possible, since his whole goal is to make himself seem as inhuman and unstable as possible. Letting the others care about him would humanise Noah in the eyes of the cast and the audience at large, which is a big no-no for his game plan.

That doesn't mean he wouldn't let Owen fuss over him in private; Owen's one of the very few people around who knows that a lot of Noah's instability is an exaggeration, so Noah isn't as hesitant to lower his walls.

[kitten4sannie]

look at the way i ride ~

[haloangel21]

him: *randomly tosses the Vehicons off the ship*

also him: “I need fliers!!”

[moonshynecybin]

I remember many years ago, someone (and for the life of me I cannot remember who, but I think it was a commentator) called Vale "the man with the golden mask", basically saying that the Vale we see on TV and in interviews is only the person he wants us to see and that only a few people know the real Vale, and for me this has always explained why he is the way he is with Marc and why it went way from the ranch.

Unlike with people like Biaggi, Stoner, Jlo etc, he clearly genuinely liked Marc (I think possibly because Marc reminded him of himself lol but that's a whole different topic) and I always got the impression he let Marc see a bit of the real Vale behind the mask bc he trusted him, then when Marc rocked up at his ranch with his whole team, he saw it as Marc trying to outdo him and broke that trust. Vale then sees trusting Marc as a mistake, overanalyses everything Marc does on and off track from that point on (rightly or wrongly), sees a lot of it as Marc deliberately sabotaging him, even though it's just his usual demon behaviour, and then 2015 cements his view that he's made a huge mistake in ever trusting Marc with the real Vale. And that's why still now, even though he's had fights and crashes with a lot of other riders, he can't let 2015 go, not just because of the 10th, but because the others were just battles on track; Marc hurt him on a personal level and he blames Marc as much as himself for allowing that to happen. I think the "the mask" went back into place the day Marc left that ranch and has stayed very firmly there ever since, and had it not, maybe things would be different today. Or at least, that is how I've always seen it (sorry for the essay!)

i COMPLETELY agree.... ive already talked like. truly so much about how i think that marc bringing his mechanics to the ranch was seen as the first shot in their little war by vale... like marc transgressing on vale's territory and bringing the smoke to a fun friendly ranch day was spun in vale's brain as MARC being the one to throw the first stone here... like yeah vale has a pattern of icing people out once they become real rivals but i actually think he came into being competitive with marc still open to being friends (or at least thinking that lol) !! and then marc shows up at his house like remember i want to destroy you on track! :3 which for marc's insane brain (mechanics are my familyyy and what happens on track stays there) is fine ! but not for vale lol. and then there's insecurity and ego and marc being an annoying crazy person et cetera blah blah blah so it goes = divorce

i also think ummmm. literally every day about when marc had to introduce valentino to the audience in his documentary, and the first thing he said was "to me, valentino is SHOW." and then also literally immediately identified ranch day as definitively when vale started icing him out... like even if he was in denial during the 2015 season, i think in hindsight he is PAINFULLYYYY aware of exactly when that mask went back up AND when he was unceremoniously removed from the small circle of people who ever get to see vale without it. like there was a shift. and it hurts his feelings lol.

and youre so right! marc IS different than those other guys bc they had a really good relationship before... vale's ability to show the press only what he wants them to see is one of his most effective mechanisms of self protection. (SO effective that he apparently does it in his real life relationships, like with his dad)... if no one sees the real you, then you never have to be vulnerable. if youre never vulnerable, its a lot harder to get hurt. unfortunately for vale it also makes it a lot harder to build meaningful connections ! so i think when he let marc in and then was "betrayed" by him, it was a) a rare occurrence for him to get that close with another racer (academy boys are a lil different obvs. like he thought marc was his equal, which i think compelled him AND freaked him out) and b) deeply effecting when he felt like that trust got betrayed... so even though hes the aggressor in the sepang drama i think he felt pretty victimized at that point. which like yeah is delusional ! but is also just sometimes how emotions work. especially when you have trust ego and vulnerability issues lol

[answrs]

okay I know the immediate thought (for me, at least) was Lewis/Vivi/Arthur. which is fantastic too... but please consider my counterargument: Arthur/Lewis/Vivi