#my incorrect marvel quotes

[couldvebeenus]

[incorrect quotes]

Pez: Henry, "fuck, marry, kill" with famous people you have met, go!

Henry: Alex! *no hesitation* Claremont-Diaz, in case there was any doubts.

Pez: For which one?

Henry: What do you mean for which one?

[everwalldigan]

(Dick coming to collect Jason after he’s been “wrongfully” captured by the justice league while Batman is off world:)

Dick: Listen, Hood might be a criminal, but he’s one of Gotham’s. And he’s my brother.

JL: he killed 80 people in two days.

Dick: …he’s adopted?

Jason, glaring while bound to a chair: SO ARE YOU???

[thewrittenpodcast]

Principal: unfortunately we had to call your mother in

Peter: may won't pick up

Principal: no not your aunt. your mother

Peter: i don't... have one?

Principal: says here one Viginia Potts is listed

Peter: i have never met a virginia in my life

Pepper, walking in: i was called

Peter:

Peter: your name is virginia?

Peter: my life is a lie

Peter: how can I go on

[mobius-m-mobius]

it's a fair question 🙃 Lokius Incorrect Quotes [12/∞]

[idkimboredrnsodoomscroll]

Jac Shaffer: ok guys we are going to film you guys falling top speed straight down on a broom presumably to your deaths, please give me your best scream.

Everyone: *screams terrified*

Aubrey Plaza: *witch cackle*

Producer: Aubrey no it’s a-

Jac Shaffer: No, let her cook

[minimarvelh]

Tony: Steve, there is something I need to tell you about your interaction with Peter.

Steve: I know, I know, if I ever hurt him during our meetings, you will kill me.

Tony: no, Pepper will. And I will help.

[fandomnerd9602]

Y/N drunkenly approaches Natasha at a party…

Y/N: hey

Natasha: hey yourself

Y/N: you’ve been staring at me all night

Natasha: and?

Y/N: I’m just curious. Are you single?

Natasha: I’m married…to you

Y/N cries…

Natasha: what’s wrong?

Y/N: the girl of my dreams is married!

Natasha:

[i-a-q]

Peter: So… if you were a sandwich, what kind of sandwich would you be?

Tony: *without hesitation* A clubhouse, obviously. And you?

Peter: I’d probably be a peanut butter and jelly.

Tony: Of course, you would.

[chaxan08]

Yelena, at the height of the war: I will not hesitate to destroy everything you love, Kate Bishop.

Kate: What if I love you?

Yelena: Hah, joke’s on you! I’ve been self-destructive since I was a child.

[stargatesimp]

AGATHA ALL ALONG SPOILERS (Episode 4)

.

.

Rio: That boy isn’t yours.

Agatha, holding adoption papers: yet

[bruciemilf]

Found family but they’re all weirdos

[marvel-lous-guy]

Steve: alright, that concludes todays mission brief.

Peter: Now lets see if you were paying attention.

*kahoot music starts playing*

[1nkpen]

*Avengers playing never have I ever*

Bruce: Never have I ever seen Stark naked.

*Rhodey, Natasha, Pepper, Loki, Steve, Bucky, and Stephen all take a shot*

Tony: In my defence i have a very appealing body.

[thewrittenpodcast]

Peter, sitting next to Tony: check your messages i sent you a meme

Tony, opening the message: ha funny

Peter:

Peter, tearing up: you didn't respond to me

Tony: yes I did i said "ha funny"

Peter, tearing up: no you didn't

Peter: you left me on read in chat

Tony: Kid-

[romanoffshouse]

[Tony walking down the street.]

A kid: You look like Tony Stark.

Tony: That's because I'm Tony Stark.

The Kid: You wish.

[Natasha laughs from behind]

[incorrectpeterparker]

Peter: I accidentally ate MJ’s sandwich… How long do you think I have to live?

Ned: Ten

Peter: Ten what?

Ned: Nine