#my heart constantly breaks for her
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Anyway I refuse to believe that she died. The focus on the air ducts, the pieces of the bomb and the flying ship at the end … I won’t believe it until they show me a body
#even if I strongly wish someone would tell vi if she’s alive#she deserves to know#that girl went through so much#my heart constantly breaks for her#arcane#arcane spoilers
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Leverage 4x1 - "The Long Way Down Job"
#christian kane#leverage#eliot spencer#parker#beth riesgraf#the long way down job#it breaks my heart the way this makes it clear parker has been using the other members of the team as a yardstick for morality#like she's been constantly comparing herself to them and has been failing to measure up#it's so important to her and she's convinced the others are “good” enough that they'd manage find a way somehow#and eliot can only nod and do what he can to help her through a crisis of faith in herself
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— You are spasming and twitching...poor thing.
#gamingnetwork#vgedit#videogameedit#gamingedit#dailygaming#gameplaydaily#bg3edit#bgedit#mybg3#baldur's gate#astarion#bg3 astarion#dark urge#the dark urge#briar and astarion actually have a pretty bad relationships despite it all#she feels very hurt by his dismissal of her hurt and because she can only deal w hurt via anger and threats its not great#but shes constantly like IT BREAKS MY HEART TO BE LIKE THIS and hes like#Lmao. Funnie.
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"I'm the paper cut that kills you I'm the priest that you ignored I'm the touch you crave, I'm the plans that you made Fuck all your plans"
Christine 'Riot' Vega belongs to @gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot
OCs Masterlist
#cod mw2#cod oc#cod original character#call of duty#call of duty modern warfare#call of duty original character#call of duty modern warfare 2#riot vega#christine riot vega#it constantly breaks my heart how violence and abuse lead riot to veaponizing her own body#like when she wears revealing clothes not because she feels like that#like when you saw this picture for the first time - you didnt look at her butchered face#did you?
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OBVIOUSLY luna is of malaysian heritage and definitely celebrates Eid so in honor of this upcoming Eid i just had to draw the gang in traditional clothing and they all definitely celebrate it with her TwT
have a blessed Eid to anyone that is also celebrating!! selamat hari raya x
#the wayhaven chronicles#twc#unit bravo#specialist agent m#adam du mortain#farah hauville#nate sewell#i love them sm they are my comfort characters...#f and n would enjoy the festivities so much#m would skulk somewhere but luna would join and smoke w her uwu#OH MY GOD I SHOULDVE DRAWN A WITH HIS STUPID CARGO PANTS ON UNDER HIS SARONG#made him look a little stupid here with his shades on as payback for constantly breaking luna's heart hihi#i think a would have a nice time too#luna would make him play w sparklers and they'll have a cute little moment uwu#hurbarts*
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hi hi hi show me your adaine/naradriel vision pls
Their father's worked together often, and Adaine hated Nara. She thought she was a scatterbrained, spoiled idiot. And no, none of this stemmed from a place of jealousy. That would be absurd.
“Nara is a bitch” is quite possibly the only thing Adaine and Aelwyn had ever agreed upon before Adaine’s sophomore year of high school.
As children, Adaine would be forced to spend more time around Nara than Aelwyn, because she was the youngest and had to “earn the opportunity” to socialize with the adults as an equal (or some bullshit to that effect, anyway). She and Nara and other kids would basically be lumped together towards the end of a table at dinners and things while Aelwyn would sit a smidge closer to the adults, smiling and simpering and being the Perfect Daughter. Adaine would try not to talk to Nara, who honestly just… Didn’t get the social cues of I-Don’t-Want-To-Talk-To-You that Adaine put across. She was fairly sure Adaine disliked her and didn’t understand that. In her mind as a child Adaine Abernant was the epitome of cool. She was clever, but she also argued with her father and talked back and didn’t seem to care about the opinions of others. Nara really, really wished she could be her. She wanted to impress her. She didn’t want Adaine to dislike her—so she tried talking to her. Which, of course, Adaine loathed.
When Adaine moved to Solace, it took only a few years for Naradriel to fade to the back of her mind. Childhood memory is a fickle thing. She does not remember their home in Fallinel, does not remember more than snippets of dinners with her father’s political rivals and allies, does not remember moving. She does not remember Nara.
Until. She sees Nara on Tracker’s lap and a flood of memories return.
This bitch, Adaine thinks. There is no way—no fucking way—Tracker would ever fall for her.
She continues on with that mentality, albeit hiding it, because she knows how important Nara’s father is and how he might give her what she wants. (Angwyn loathed that he needed to report to Lord Kestadine Narmorith, and he always ranted at great length about the other's deceit and political betrayal when they were both moving up in the Fallinel government. It's not until Adaine sees the words "Princess Naradriel Narmorith" in Tracker's Instagram post that the connection hits her. It's funny. She's never agreed with her father on anything. Yet they both hate the Narmorith family. Princess isn't really a proper translate anyway--Fallinel isn't a monarchy, the positions aren't inherited through blood. Magic--power--reigns supreme there, for thousands of years, or however long someone wants to hold their position in rule. Nara's just the daughter of a rich and powerful elf. She's a political tool, of course, which makes her princess-adjacent, but the official title, which does not have a true translation in Common, can be attributed to any of the children of someone on the Court of Stars.)
Adaine meets Nara. She's a bit naive, and Adaine is quick to call her stupid as many times as possible because it makes more sense than the other less sensible words that pop to mind and flutter to life in her stomach and blood when she sees her sister's new girlfriend, but she's also kind and she seems earnest enough. She's a bit try-hard, though.
Still. It seems like Tracker's been leading her on a bit, from the way Track looks at Kristen.
Which, of course, is entirely Tracker's business. Adaine's never even been in a relationship. It's not her place to judge Tracker.
Adaine had pictured Nara's father to be, well, similar to her own. Perhaps a little closer to how he treated Aelwyn than how he treated herself, but a normal elven father nonetheless. He wasn't.
He wasn't.
Kestadine Narmorith was a patient father. He agreed to Adaine's demands. He listened.
Adaine is lightheaded from the sheer shock that her problems might be solved so soon, that she might not have to fear failing her wizarding classes, that if it doesn't work she might fall into an even worse hole of failure, and that a man her father had hated was a good parent--she cannot focus.
She stumbles out of the meeting to gasp quiet thanks to Nara, and just...Can't process.
Nara has a crystal now, for whatever reason. They exchange numbers. They start talking.
#just. Nara being everything adaine wasn't good enough at#adaine being everything Nara hates herself for lacking#adaine loving tracker and seeing her break kristen's heart and nara's heart and thinking “that's not right that's not right”#adaine being prepared to hate Nara and when she finally sees her just freezing and going “shit. she's pretty”#is hilarious to me#naradaine hurt/comfort my beloved#aelwyn threatening to kill nara CONSTANTLY#even more so once adaine and nara start dating#adaine pretending to hate nara because a) she thought she did and b) she wants to support kristen#all the while shes texting nara every weekend#oh and yes i named nara's dad & gave her a last name#since brennan didn't bother to. it's become canon to me now so.#alliterative names/surnames are very common in fallinel#because it honors your family even within the confines of the language/your name#adaine abernant#aelwyn abernant#fantasy high junior year#tracker o'shaughnessey#naradriel#naradriel narmorith
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#I am so unbelievably tired#and not even in a physical way#I feel like I can’t keep up with life anymore (not in a suicidal way don’t worry)#but I just keep getting diagnosis after diagnosis that I can’t do anything about#I’m constantly being called an asshole for trying to get people to vote for a candidate who isn’t actively#trying to break up my family and take my actual literal human child away just because her parents are queer#’but she’s done bad things’ yeah that’s great and all but I really don’t want my daughter taken away so that’s just how it has to be#unfortunately I don’t get the luxury of voting with my heart. I have actual first hand problems that will ruin my life if trump wins#so kindly fuck off with your moral high ground bullshit#I am just so so so tired#I miss feeling like my life was safe and okay
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Anyway I feel like it kinda gets glossed over that Knives was a child when he caused the big fall and idk I think that's kind of important because he's lived with that for over 100 years and just like Vash has lived with knowing the people he loves and fights for don't see him or his kind as anything more than a tool at best or a monster at worst, Knives has most definitely lived with knowing he's the leading reason why this system has remained in place
#knives millions#millions knives#like he can and most definitely does rationalize away conscious guilt by going 'this is what humans would have done anyway'#but like#goddamn alisduflsiafuh he was a child#and for all his resentment toward Rem she was still his mom#and he still initially intended for her to be saved with them#and this isn't me wanting to handwave everything else he'sdone#but i think it's an important part of his character to remember#(especially in the trimax manga where imo he's had a death wish of some sort constantly since he found out about tesla)#(the only thing keeping him going was Vash staying alive and freeing the other plants)#(and when he failed to take the other Plants away with him. he starts asking Vash to just shoot him already)#(like idk man sometimes i just remember that he was a kid when he caused the big fall and my heart hurts)#(he was already building his self fulfilling prophecy)#(and then tristamp has him find conrad way younger than in the manga and the forced witness of a Plant being killed happens as a teen#(and OW)#(like the fact that he and vash experience so many of the same things but have key pieces of formative disconnect...)#(their story breaks my fucking heart)
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why did nobody tell me living in a different country was so lonely
#i mean it makes sense! i just. idk.#my friends are in so many diff countries#and my family is in another entirely.#i saw a post about being a long distance daughter and it is breaking my heart currently i am sobbing over it#bc that was my main problem w living in the uk im wo close to my mom but now i both just. constantly miss her and am glad to not be there.#also!!!!!! i have tea!! that id love to tell my grandpa but i cant!! separated by universes and not kilometres#okay bye i will now drown myself#(figuratively)#nett rambles#can u tell ive forgotten to take my meds for a while#also i watched mamma mia which wasnt the right choice for today
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I think I've finally figured out how to feed all three cats in the same room without Conflict happening.
Prime and Two know to go to their plates when I'm getting ready for bed, and they've been good about doing so for years. Three has been the Problem.
He knows where his plate is, but he doesn't want His food, he wants Prime's food, or he wants to eat with her as a bonding thing because he loves her despite her being like. I can not stress this enough, Consistently avoidant of him and Mean when he gets her cornered (Three is about 5lbs 5months, Prime is 12lbs and 5years he is not a threat to her, she just fucking hates him)
Two Loves Three, but does he ever want to eat with Her? no. Because he has a rock in his skull. Anyways.
The method is, Pick up 3. get a scoop of food and put it on his plate, put him down so that he is facing the wall.
Get a scoop for 2, put it on her plate, tell her she's pretty and that I love her. She will not eat if I don't do this.
Pick up 3 and put him back at his plate. tell him he's a sweet baby and pet him if he wants it. This is for me, he usually doesn't want pets at dinner time
Get Primes food, put it on her plate. Put 3 back at his plate facing the wall. Pet Prime until she is ready to eat, she will not eat if she doesn't get her dinner petting and it's the main reason I can't go on trips that are longer than 2 days because after day 2 of not getting her dinner pets she just. stops eating until I get back. Put 3 back at his plate.
Go to bed, say goodnight to 2 beside the door because she likes to walk me to my room before she finishes her meal. Go to bed.
also to clarify: There's at least 5feet between all three cats and prime and three are on opposite sides of the apartment. it's not a short distance he's going in his quest to bother her.
I haven't had to break up any hissing in a few days so I Think not drawing Three's attention to Prime after everyone is settled is working.
#Why Wont He Stopppppp.#Please. 2 adores him! She and i play with him constantly. Please just leave prime alone. She does not want to play.#You are Stressing her and she is of a delicate constitution!!!#breakfast is easier because they get small wet food portions that the older cats eat too fast for Three to cause problems.#none of them will let me brush their teeth so they need dry kibble to break up the plaque at least a Little bit. plus Prime does better#on dry#Her manx syndrome makes her really prone to UTIs and the uti kibble has reduced the number she gets by a good margine.#one or two a year instead of it just being Constant.#hi insomnia is happening again so im rambling about nothing#I love my cats lots and they are all too spoiled#also hot tip#Feed your cats on plates#Mine have heart shaped ones from dollar tree and its cute+ means they never fuss about whisker fatigue/their bowl being 'empty'
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both of my parents have the terrible habit of failing to take care of themselves by overworking
#my mom fainted bc she hasnt been eating enough bc shes been spending all her time working#my dad had a heart attack bc he is constantly stressing himself out about work and never takes a break#three pigeons in a trench coat
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my sister called me and kept asking excitedly that what's happening in my life and
#like life as in. i can't say love life but like you know what's happening with the guys and the girls#girl#and i was so tired#am so tired#i just made up an excuse that im too physically tired too talk to cut the call and told her id call her back but i won't#i want to okay i really do I want to hear about her life what's going on but she's not that type of person jinke saamne#i can just divert the topic from myself avoid talking about me she's determined and caring like that😭#just. kya batau main#i spent the whole day working but really if i stopped doing anything for like 2 minutes all the last convos i had with everyone i#liked loved whatever started replaying in my head constantly making me feel all down and sad in public yk that empty heaviness inside chest#i mean. what is there to say. i feel truly pathetic#everyone just keeps leaving me. they decide one day that oh nope she's not for me not interesting anymore doesn't understand is too much#draining and destroys my peace and then they leave#it doesn't even matter the weight of the relationship#whether it's been a year of being in love or two weeks of talking till 5 am or a week of wishing me good morning and good night#every day. it doesn't matter they leave and they leave and they leave and they don't look back and im left to pick up the pieces go on#pretend to be okay and normal and fucking focused on like. studying accounts as if my heart isn't breaking#into a million tiny pieces everytime#i don't know how to tell her. the sister you love so much the sister you can't live without imagine life without. the#sister who you thought about holding on for because you couldn't do that to her leave her alone when you had suicidal thoughts. she's#she's actually deeply unlovable undateable unfuckable and like truly lonely and easy to let go of#i know she loves me and i know my bestfriend loves me and she would fall apart if i wasn't there for her#but it's not enough. i really wish it was. but it's okay it's enough for now it's enough to keep me going it's enough to make me not wanna#die yk? like i don't love myself enough to live for myself get better for myself but they need me so i need to be okay be happy because i#need them to be happy. and they're happy when im happy#does that make sense#okay bye i should really start writing a diary
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why can't my ex best friend just be a repressed homosexual who is in love with me or something and not the most evil uncaring person on earth with no excuse for treating me like shit and ruining the way I view myself and my relationships forever
#i will take anything at this point im not even kidding#she was like a little sister to me thinking about her romantically makes me want to puke btw#im just. sigh. reading devastating byler fanfiction that hits way too close to home at 2am on a school night again#they always start out so relatable but then they always get their happy ending#it's hard to explain. its comforting but it also makes me feel so much worse#god i hate being aro sometimes. i wish i just got it you know#i wish the solution to my friends constantly breaking my heart was just a pretty bow of romantic undertones i will never understand#it's such a neat little explanation. it's so perfect#but no i just love the worst people#and everyone will eventually ditch me for an so and I'm gonna die alone reading byler fanfiction#anyway. i hate everything. bye#liveblogging.pdf
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I feel guilty pursuing a better and more comfortable life, especially pursuing a career in media, during this genocide
#i feel a bit guilty when I have a good day I feel guilty that I’m not constantly outspoken on platforms like instagram because I’m trying to#look hireable and I feel guilty that my more activist friends annoy the shit out of me though thats usually more about how they act as peopl#e. like my friend and her dad are staunch activists her dad keeps showing up to these big disruptive rallies and protests and i find him so#badass. she’s also so badass she’s funny actually our mutual friend told me that she was refusing to hang out with him unless it was at prot#ests. anyways. i want what I want but it’s weird to have a personal life and personal goals that I’m finally trying to live while also being#very aware of what’s going on#i think i get annoyed by the people who’re melodramatic. i have this friend whos so lovely but was just posting photos of herself crying bc#her jewish grandfather refuses to believe this is a genocide and im just like how did you not EXPECT that. i also have jewish grandparents a#nd I know what they believe and it doesn’t break my heart or because I expected it like they were born around the time the holocaust stopped
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I mean I also hate the chokehold that Cullen has on the tiktok girlies but can you really talk about ugly when you romanced Solas? 🤔 Egg looking ass.
His ugliness is literally part of the appeal what's not CLICKING! Cullen girlies lie to themselves he's ugly inside and outside, IM realistic
#tbt 2014 my friend is trying to convince me to play dai by showing me her other friend's fave romance- solas#i go 'ew? get that out of my sight'#i buy dai. i make a qunari lady#i try to romance cullen. doesnt work obvs#i dont know how to switch party members. i take solas everywhere with me#i become obsessed with the way he tells stories. i ask him shit constantly bc i have no lore knowledge bc dai is my first#hes obsessed with me asking him questions. he becomes my bestie#he leaves and breaks my heart platonicly#i start a new game with a human this time. i romance cullen. its alright ig 🙄#i become besties with solas again#i make a THIRD Inquisitor and finally romance him. my brain is chemically altered forever. the baldness is now part of the appeal#ask#anon
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probs won't hit post limit bc i spent a good chunk of the day watching smallville
#my currently smallville thoughts as of getting halfway thru s5:#jensen's character is dead and gone rip jason teague#also he turned out to be working with his evil mom and held my girl martha and jonathan hostage. so not too sad to see his character go lol#chloe is still getting on my nerves but a little bit less#she seems to have finally accepted her role as sidekick friend who will never be the Love Interest#lois continues to grow on me<3 the 'i barely (but fondly) tolerate you' friendship she and clark have rn is cute#CLARK AND LANA DATING FOR REALS THIS TIME. my shipper heart soars. soaking it all up bc i knowww it will not last </3#also them being each other's firsts. cute and also. VINDICATION. it's just simply what's meant to be. that's his first love ok#clark and lex's rapidly deteriorating friendship in s5 breaks my goddamn heart tho. also lex suddenly interested in lana like. no dude stop#like. i can only get one of my two favorite clark relationships to be afloat at a time. i get a clark x lana win this seasons#only to lose clark and lex :(#my girl martha continues to slay. all the awards to annette o'toole. literally every scene she's in just banger#and lionel's glorious hair finally back. we just love lionel in general. a fun bad dad. it's the flair for dramatics that makes him so fun#also just john glover is constantly slaying every scene too#smallville watch
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