#my heart actually aches so much
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post-concert depressive episode except you were only able to tayl-gate bc being on long-term medical leave means dwindling savings and income and the us leg ends in two weeks and she's not coming to canada and you have to accept that you'll never get to see the tour fr inside the stadium
and also dancing with mobility aids while taylorgating was very rough on you physically so you basically slept through two days after and you're still in pain and recovering
owie
#taylorgating#tayl-gating#the eras tour#is this it... my triumphant return to tumblr 10 years later...#it's coming back around (I am depressive and on tumblr wow this feels familiar)#my heart actually aches so much#tayl-gating was so good though I cried and danced as much as I could stand and I made 2 friends and it was beautiful and wonderful#and yet#still sad
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Pirate
Pairing: Will Turner x F!Reader, Jack Sparrow x F!Reader (Platonic) Read The Second Part: Not Just A Pirate
That imbecile had left you with Barbossa, and the thought of having to deal with his monkey's stupid chattering had nearly driven you to madness. Seizing any opportunity available, you had found yourself a small boat and began your search for Sparrow. You weren't expecting much from him, considering you were technically a part of his crew - the rest were with Barbossa. Not that it made any difference, though, because at the moment you were without a captain and unfortunately in the eyes of a few redcoats who eyed you, warily. They drew their rifles closer to themselves, marching over with some fire in their eyes.
"Oh, curse me," You muttered underneath your breath, throwing your hat into the water below, before carefully stepping onto a dock. Your foot dangled helplessly onto the boat, almost causing you to lose your balance. Gesturing for a soldier to come help you, you grabbed hold of his arm and hoisted yourself up onto the wooden platforms and sighed in relief, thanking them with false kindness.
"Enough, enough," One of them grumbled, rolling his eyes. He sneezed, the droplets of his mucus flying past you as you cringed at the sight. Despite being a pirate, you still had at least a little bit of hygiene left in you during your days as a "proper" lady. "What brings a girl like you to Port Royal, especially in that poor excuse of a boat?"
You followed the soldier's fingers to the vessel, noticing the way a few splinters poked out from the oars. It was a ghastly sight and a miracle that it had managed to take you this far without sinking. Shaking your head, you came up with the best excuse you could think of,
"I was robbed by a pirate. I was hoping at least one of you would show some mercy and help me find that treacherous man."
"Was it Jack Sparrow?" Another soldier chimed in, his voice so delicate as he uttered the name.
"Precisely!" You whispered, excitedly as you wriggled your eyebrows, "Have you seen him lurking about here? I ought to give him a piece of mind!"
"Now, now, listen here, you don't have to do anything," The third soldier cried out with an exasperated sigh, "As misfortunate as your encounter with Sparrow must be, I implore you to go find yourself an inn for the time being." He had this air of haughtiness in his voice, one that made your frown deepen into a snarl. Biting the inside of your cheek, you pushed any emerging ill comments at him down to your boots and merely nodded your head in response.
Pushing past the soldiers, you trailed up the staircase to the cobbled streets of Port Royal and found a group of more soldiers running down the streets from The Governor's quarters. Frowning, your faintly heard the mention of Jack Sparrow among one of the redcoats that passed by you and you instantly figured out what was going on.
Crossing through an alley, you found a familiar set of beads dangling from an individual's head, hiding behind a wagon; he occasionally lifted his head to peer for any danger, unaware of your presence behind him.
"AHEM," You crossed your arms, glaring at him. Either he was ignoring you on purpose, or he was incredibly deaf and stupid. Rolling your eyes, you slapped the back of his head and watched him hurl into the wagon with a yelp of pain. He turned around on his heels, swiftly, narrowing his eyes for a moment to scan your face. Upon recognition, he grinned and held his hands up in the air,
"(Y/N)! Sweetheart, what are you doing here?" He exclaimed, holding onto your hands. You wriggled out of his grasps, before slapping him across his face, sharply.
"You moron! You left me aboard Barbossa's ship! After everything we've been through, I thought you were a brother to me! Family! You've decided to lurk about and be the prying little-"
"Whoa... now, love, we don't have much time to listen to your usual rants, do we?" Jack interjected your thoughts, raising a finger up. He swayed towards you, looking over your shoulder to ensure that there were no redcoats nearby. His eyes then glanced back towards you, "Listen, I think we should split ways and then meet up back at the docks. What do ya say?"
"I say no," You hiss, "I don't trust your words. We go together, or I'll throw you to the soldiers myself!"
"Darlin', you're a pirate too. You're only doing yourself a disservice here," Jack scoffed, and you clutched onto his collar,
"Try me. You cross me one more time, I won't care if you're my captain or like a brother to me, I shall drive my sword through your head and watch you scream for mercy." You threatened him, before shoving him off. Jack dusted his coat, creasing out the new wrinkles you caused with what he assumed was an indifferent expression on his face - he couldn't hide the slight fear your words caused him.
As you extended your hand out for Jack to accept, the thunderous footsteps of the redcoats just around the corner caused you both to pick your feet up and run. Jack had hopped over among the roofs, and you had run inside a blacksmith's keep. Grabbing a sword from the sleeping blacksmith, you were set to head back out when you had noticed a shadow emerge from the other side of the door.
"Oh, bollocks," You whisper, in a panicked tone, leaping behind a wooden table somewhere far enough for cover. You heard the footsteps of someone patter across the room, shifting through some equipment before they loudly whispered,
"Not where I left you..."
Ah, so it was a man. And judging by the sound of his voice, he was pretty young. You peered, carefully, from the table and noticed his ponytail, and his well-fitted yet a bit dirty clothes. He wasn't bad-looking, surprisingly. He tapped his foot, impatiently, before drawing out his own sword and turned to your hiding spot. Sighing in defeat, you stood up from the cramped place and stretched your arms with a lazy yawn, stalking over to him.
"You're a pirate," He spat, his sword dragging up and down the air as he gestured at you.
"I'm also a lady. Now, this can go two ways. Either you let me go and I find myself back to Jack Sparrow, or I kill you... and find myself back to Jack Sparrow." You reasoned, forcing a smile at him as you made your way to the exit. Within seconds, you felt the tip of the blade against your chin, turning your head to face him. He had a deathly glare on his face but his eyes spoke of something else. Seeing that there was no way out of this without blood being shed, you raised an eyebrow,
"Come now, love, must there be hostility? Fine then, have it your way." You spat, before dragging your sword and jabbing it towards his stomach. He deflected my attack, and swung his sword around towards your neck. Dodging backwards, you lunged forward and elbowed his gut before parrying the thrust of his sword. He fell back for a moment, catching his breath as he shook his head,
"That's cheating." He breathed out between pants.
"Well, that's life, and now help a lady out and let her escape." You snickered, prying his fingers off his sword.
"Ah, but that's where you're mistaken... you're a pirate." The young man smirked, and the front door swung open with Jack at the hands of the redcoats, a sheepish look attached to his stupid face. Glancing back to the now standing young man, you found yourself handcuffed and dragged off with Jack besides you.
William didn't fail to notice your menacing glare as you were taken away and he let out a proud smirk at the sight. And yet, something felt wrong. In all the years as a blacksmith's apprentice, nothing had excited him as much as this encounter had. He turned to the burning furnace, his thoughts fixated on seeing you.
For one more time, at least.
#writing#fanfiction#fanfic#william turner#william turner x reader#will turner x reader#will turner#POTC x reader#POTC fanfiction#potc fanfic#jack sparrow x reader#jack sparrow#will turner x y/n#jack sparrow x y/n#jack sparrow x reader platonic#pirates of the carribean#the pirates of the caribbean#pirates of the carribbean x reader#pirates of the carribbean fanfiction#pirates of the carribbean fanfic#i love will turner#guys if this doesnt post now im gonna cry ive been trying for the past 5 times now#actually gonna start crying#also i didnt know theres a word limit now?#i used to write like 6-7k word fics#and now i can only write like 1k words?#dawg bsfr#my original draft of this was so good#but then i had to chop out so much stuff my heart aches#it jsut doesnt sit right with me right now but it is what it is ig
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a couple more notes and i'll shut up
i really really really hate this translation
你怎麼那麼傻
there really is no perfect word for 傻 (sha) in english. closest is foolish/silly, but what doesn't get translated is the affection you feel for someone you're calling 傻. so maybe "why are you so foolish (affectionate)"
但是我真的太害怕再失去了
but I'm just too scared of losing again
(idk that "again" felt pretty important to just drop completely like that)
#first note of love#彈一場完美戀愛#this one translates#this one rambles#as soon as i heard 傻 i knew gaga would say stupid#when there's actually so much love buried in that word that makes my heart ache
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(♪)
me, an infant, not knowing that i’m a sim in a wants based gameplay (like, what is that.....lol) and that both of my parents (also sims) have wants related to having another kid
there was just a lot of simulated love in this little house okay!! i can’t get into it right now!! for emotional reasons!! *starts crying, drops the mic u didn’t know i had, storms off the stage u didn’t know i was on*
also amie doesn’t have much time left lol, i wanted to make sure i had a good pic of her with her only great-grandchild ;------;
#ts4#*ts4gameplay#*sunday save#*sunday save gen 2#z#*jay#*ruthie#*paloma#*amie#i'll tag everyone else later (no i won't)#gonna keep it real with u all....i love these pixels so much it makes my heart ache <3#also this party was on new years but her actual birthday will be on fall 1 so i'm just#making everything consistent in advance lol
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I know I've been on about this for a while now and I'm being a hater but you're telling me SydCarmy was "always meant to be platonic" even though there are two seasons of writing making use of tried-and-true explicitly romantic tropes, themes and writing signals, and SydLuca is going to be romantic because...he was nice to her on screen for a few minutes?
I don't even care if people ship SydLuca, or if they just prefer it, but you can't honestly tell me that you believe Carmy was always meant to be a friend but Luca is an obvious love interest.
Just because Syd and Carmy haven't kissed or confessed their love to each other doesn't mean that isn't very obviously the direction this show is going. The Bear has already shown you who is endgame. It has shown you every episode of the show so far.
Honestly I really don't think The Bear fanbase understands this show or cares about these characters or the story being told here, which is unfortunate because this show is shockingly well-written in comparison to most shows right now, and we should be so grateful for it but all we're doing is complaining that the writers led us on by not making a ship canon fast enough. It's just. Sad.
#The Bear#SydCarmy#I was like a casual fan of this show two days ago#and now seeing how little respect this show gets from it's fanbase I'm losing my mind#I mean I shipped SydCarmy before anyway but now it means so much to me#it means so much to see such a realistic and purposefully well paced romance take place#so many shows portray romantic relationships and their beginnings in ways that just don't really happen in real life#and this show very purposefully said no. These are characters who are strangers. who are working together. Who are in a tense environment#and each of them has problems - one of them the type of problems that makes developing new relationships pretty difficult#these two would not get together right away. It would take a long time. And there would be ups and downs.#And even when that's the case. Even if when it takes a long time and doesn't go smoothly and is hard -#it can still be beautiful. It can still be romantic. It can still happen and here's how#and I'm just so inspired genuinely. It is so difficult to write romance without being cliche and so difficult to write it in a way that#could actually happen in real life and I really do hope I can write something half as good some day#and then to know so many people have no appreciation for it at all#because they prefer the shows that have characters make eye contact a few times and then confess their love for each other like#it's just fucking sad. So sad that so few people have any appreciation for good writing especially the difficult of romance writing#like I really just don't even know what to tell you. In real life these two would not have confessed to each other yet. They would not have#kissed yet. They would not have even realized they have feelings for each other yet because those feelings would still be developing#and I also want to point out that given the disparity in power between Syd and Carmy in season 1 it wouldn't have been healthy for them to#get together much sooner. He was her boss. He was also her idol. Before they can even get together that needs to be balanced out.#And then on top of that don't you see the value in Carmy realizing the dream girl he's romanticized in his head - Claire - isn't actually#what he wants? Don't you see the beauty in him being disillusioned from that? And realizing that Syd is what he wants?#Don't you see the beauty in Syd having an idealized vision of what Carmy The Great Chef is like realizing she was wrong and that he's human#and flawed and then realizing - she loves him anyway? She loves him more for not being on a pedestal and for having his flaws?#Are you telling me that even thinking about this doesn't move you? Doesn't make your heart ache a little?#And again - ship and let ship - but what is Luca? What is Luca if not just what she was hoping Carmy would be when she wen to The Beef?#What is he if not just another man who she has not seen under pressure yet? Not seen reliving trauma yet? Not been her boss yet?#It's easy to look at him and think he's better than Carmy - and that's the point. That's the point The Bear is making.#It is easy to want someone you don't know. It's hard to want to someone you do know. But that's what love requires and that's the point
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watched the haikyu movie thinking it was going to be normal but unfortunately i came out battered bruised bleeding and 5 years younger, back in 2019 watching haikyu on my couch and trying to get my sister hooked on it
#time is a flat circle#i was so young back then but im still young now#any mention of haikyu makes me so viscerally nostalgic like i start yearning and aching and my soul twists#is that too much...#haikyuu#haikyu#haikyuu battle of the garbage dump#haikyuu the dumpster battle#i cried a little bit#i read the manga a while ago like i knew exactly what was going to happen but seeing it ANIMATED made me go insane#i was clawing at the seat and at my eyes LIKE NO THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING YOU DONT MEAN IT#also spoilers in the next tag DO NOT READ IF YOU DIDNT WATCH OR READ IT#but i did NOT remember the loss of the game being so devastating#like i did not remember that the ball just fell out of kenma's hands like that#my heart sunk when i watched it in the movie i was like wait... no ur joking right... this isnt the last set right....#just the way they animated it genuniely broke me#we get kenma's pov for three straight minutes and you have to WATCH THE FUCKING BALL FALL OUT OF HIS HANDS OH MY GOD LIKE OH MY ACTUAL GOD#i love haikyu#im goign to reread it... NOW.
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accidentally just listened to perfect sense while writing and now i’m crying all over my notebook. how anyone survived hearing alex sing that live as the goodbye to the entire era of the car is absolutely beyond me oh my god
#it’s actually ridiculous how much of a mess i’ve been over this stuff when i wasn’t even there#my heart is very fragile rn#i miss them so much i ache but also i’m so full of love and gratitude it feels like i don’t have enough space to contain it#aghhhhhh#i just love them so much 🥺#arctic monkeys#perfect sense#alex turner#lulu posts
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Was anyone gonna tell me Celeste had SEVEN FTES?? Kyoko only had 5 like a normal person!! Which one is the standard here?
#shut up me#got to the ch3 body discovery with my friend#we are zooming through thh#we’re gonna play more on Saturday probably up to when the trial starts#I’m having lots of fun#I’ve never actually played the first two games myself before#it’s hitting so much harder like this#my heart fucking ached for taka during trial 2 and into ch3#I need to draw him and mondo. god it was just so sad#my friend felt the same too#don’t know how to tell her that one of her favs is dying soon (I will not be telling her)#I also can’t wait to start sdr2 I want to see her reactions to all the characters!!
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adventures from a rly fun magma i got to relaxe in today
#jrwi fanart#this gets ONE (one) proper tag bc im actually rly proud o these. thats IT!!!!#anyway AAA okay so. some1 in the magma reccomended i draw edynXkira. n im like OH MY GOD. thats GENIUS#they both work at the same job or watever. coworkers. they meet only bc edyn happens to break down infront of kira#i mean she IS under alot o stress. w knowing her brother is out there in harms way. aching not only from the decades of abuse but also#from her blatant absence and silence. she KNOWS her brother cares for her bc she feels the same way. and worries just as much.#anyway kira feels bad for whatever shes got going on w this brother of hers. whoever that is. and gets her icecream.#thats what happens in MY beautiful heart. i looove kira i loooove her shes so cuuuute and so sweeeet#IN OTHER NEWS. i also love vex n viv their canon outfits are SOOO FUN. evojelly u legend#no one knows how long i fought w those hands. oh my god. drwaing hands and tools and holding and things is so ANNOOYYIINNGG#yknow what ISnt annoying tho. drawing william wisp. he comes so naturaly to my hand now. i love him so much...#ouuuhhh prime defenders oouuuhhh i miisss youuuu hope ur doing well prime defenderrrsss#aauubabbab i think thats all i got in the ol brain. here. eat my scribbles and arts. hauve fun
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Currently writing my next Astarion fluff piece, and while I wanted it to be short, I’m nearly at 2k words and i only just started writing the part I intended to be the main focus… oops
Buckle up friends, we’re getting extra sappy, lots of consensual, non-sexual touching, as well as reader/Tav showering Astarion with words of affection
I was hoping to have it done today so I could post it right around this time, but i want to take my time with this one, so expect it some time later this week (aiming for earlier in the week but we’ll see!!)
Edit: Since this is still getting attention (I’m not 100% sure why), It’s finished and posted! You can read it here
#astarion#baldurs gate 3#bg3#bg3 astarion#astarion fic#astarion fluff#astarion x reader#astarion x tav#reader/tav#soft astarion#he needs love#real love#tav gives him so much affection that I can feel my heart aching writing this#tav softens him up so much too#and he softens them up so like#augh they’re so adorable together#tav is still reader though#i actually haven’t even written ‘tav’ at all in this piece#anyways I’m so excited for you guys to read this
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💔
#today of all days might feel the hardest of them all#I have been having a really hard time coming to terms with the reality of this and what it all really means#I feel as though since liam passed I haven’t been able to really understand it all or believe it to be true just out of pure shock and#not wanting to believe it#it just doesn’t seem possible or real#but today is different#today somehow feels more painful than ever before#my heart hurts my chest hurts my whole body aches#I know people say when they lose someone they feel like a part of them is missing#well I really do have a piece of me missing#these boys are what allowed me to survive#if it weren’t for these boys I don’t know if I’d even be here today#they kept me going and gave me a purpose and a light that I couldn’t find by myself#I haven’t been able to sit down and actually write something meaningful as a tribute to liam bc it just didn’t seem real and I knew if I#tried to write something that would mean it was really real#Liam was actually going to be gone#and here we are today seeing horrible horrible photos of the boys from some fucksd up people who think it’s okay to invade someone’s most#private moments and share them with the world#and I think this#seeing their faces#is what really made this all come to life for me and made me really grasp the fact that he’s gone#and it just made me so furious I#I don’t know how to go on with my life knowing that he’s gone and there will just forever be a piece of me missing#like I just can’t process the fact that the person who kept me going is now ??? gone#and I just have to somehow accept that?#and continue on as if everything is fine ??#I can’t understand how to do that#I just don’t know#I grew up with these boys#they quite literally shaped me into who I am today and it just hurts so so so much and I don’t know how to handle it
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i relate to peter parker because i’ve had six crushes this year alone
damn son save some for the rest of us!!
#sci speaks#i think i've only ever had one crush in my life. wilding. i wish i fell in love easier. it feels wonderful.#oh the people with hyperactive hearts...#i wish i had felt this way at some point when i was younger. it kind of felt like my heart wasn't fully developed yet.#holds my heart in my hands. why were you such a late bloomer. why didn't you feel more things earlier on.#i'm kind of sad that i didn't have teenage crushes or anything. i feel like i missed out.#is it because nobody around me was appealing. or is it because i was too busy on my own planet.#i think i wasn't really close with a lot of people when i was younger. i kind of never came out of my shell.#so nobody got close enough to me for me to like them.#not that it's necessarily how it works. but it takes a lot for me to get there with somebody i think.#i think a lot of the relationships i've been in i'm still To This Day not even sure if i actually liked them back in that way.#squeezes my heart in my hand. why are you so fussy.#i wish i had more experiences under my belt. i really do. but also i don't want to be in situations that are uncomfortable either.#and i don't want to just be there for the sake of it.#lies on the floor and stares at the ceiling. i don't know what i want.#is love the answer?#i don't know. sometimes i want it more than anything. but it's such a ball-ache to get. sometimes you think you're better off without it.#i wish i knew what i wanted. i think i just want to be brave enough to find out.#why do i ramble so much in my tags. it's like tumblr is my therapist or something.#i'm feeling weird about myself lately. just kind of a little tired. i don't feel bad. but kind of perpetually low-energy.#like i never have the time to do things that make me happy. and when i do get the time i don't have the energy.#is this what it's like to live in this world. i need like. a year's break from work. i think.#i need like a year-long vacation. i need a gap year. i need a year to live life.#i wonder if it's financially viable. i think i'd eat through everything i have if i did that. but.#you can get money back. you can't get your time back.
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oh. okay lupin i get it now. i get it
farewell, kakavasha…..
#hsr#hsr spoilers#aventurine#not kim dokja enough actually he was kind and loving to the younger version of himself#real talk that last cutscene with him and the younger kakavasha made my heart ache and i did cry a little bit#wow.i love him. so much#i lost my mind over aventurine to several people and#kept updating them as i went through cat among pigeons.#they kept dming me like ‘so is he dead yet’#TLDR I FORGIVE VERITAS RATIO FOR EVERYTHING AND AVENTURINE IS TRULY KIM DOKJA. OUCH
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finished free! iwatobi swim club and eternal summer ... i feel EMPTY. HOLLOW. MY WHOLE DAY IS RUINED. (not)
#i know there's like 6 movies or something but#i'm actually so#☹️#the last episode of eternal summer got me#BROKE ME#🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹#when rei started saying that he doesn't want the third years to go ... I'M SO DONEEE#actually hate it so so much when a year passe because it means that a LOT of things will change ☹️#<- might make that into a speech topic for my written speech and yes i still haven't finished it#hate the fact that they're actually growing up#LIKE IS IT NECESSARY TO SHOW THEM GOING TO COLLEGE AND ENTERING ADULTHOOD <///3#NEVER moving on#the ending was beautiful though#kyoani i love you#🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹#i need a moment before i watch the movies of them going to college#my heart still aches </3#<- very serious btw >:[#🐰 : miro talks
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she's just like a cat clutching desperately at the nearest surface with all its power after being picked up
#so sillay......... i like her dynamic with fu hua a lot it's fun. also i just like fu hua#i didn't Play anymore i was reading the mangas. read up to the second eruption... which like. holy shit#Holy Shit? i have too amny thoughts to be contained. too many feelings#sirin :( she was just a scared lonely baby... she was hurting so much#who cares if she almost completely destroyed the planet . my heart aches for her#and in the false reality bit. the fact that cecilia knew it was fake but she chose to love sirin as much as kiana anyway .#siegfried not knowing who she was tells me that the reality hadn't actually written sirin in as their second daughter#cecilia made that happen . it formed around her words#AND. AND LATER. CHOOSING TO HOLD HER IN THE FINAL MOMENTS BEFORE THE NUKE DROPPED#WANTING TO MAKE SURE THIS SCARED LITTLE GIRL LEFT THE WORLD FEELING LOVED AND SAFE#AUGHBAHAHSIDJ3(4*@?%(“#ich liebe dich.. a spell to make all my wishes come true :( :(((((((((#super excited to continue poking at this story it's been so fucking good so far. breaking my heart
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..oh so looking at that battle of the belts match still hurts huh :')
#its been almost two years and i still havent actually watched it back#it makes me ache and anxious. kip vs oc is an absolute banger but it hurts my heart so much at the same time#i do need to watch it again eventually in full. so i can finally shove it down everyones throats how kip is the long term catalyst for ocs#changing behavior and whatnot#but anyways i opened this to clip a very particular moment i need for a gifset so yeah. tonights not the night im watching it#it just still hurts. for so many reasons#wrestling musing
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