#my guts are killing me
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mourning black and the death of ideals
#i haven't moved on from this yet. btw. i'm still here#finally decided to draw the thought i've been ruminating over for days on end bc it's like a parasite eating away my brain#stated this on the initial post i made days ago but there's just smt so gut wrenching and sickening#about how dazai will have worn black exactly twice in his life: once as a member of the mafia and now at kunikida's funeral#a color that initially signified devotion to the mafia and his demon prodigy alias now signifies his grief#him having to wear black again at the funeral of another doomed fatalist who chose his heart over his survival. his own partner.#kunikida's death being so reminiscent of the tragedy that initially caused him to defect and flee#and everything tying together full circle and effectively breaking him#asagiri rly said fuck knkdz it's doppover we lost gang 😭😭😭#why did bro leave that fucking notebook behind#fool. do you know that angst potential you have left me to work with?#love never won in bsd. it lay dead and festering#i don't know how much longer i can keep saying i miss them. i'm going to kill myself if he doesn't come back#i've never wanted something to be death bait so desperately#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#(??? technically. its implied anyway)#lotus draws
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So, anyways, as I was saying a few days ago (for anyone following my LORE), I got stupid dumb guts sick Friday morning. It was a repeat of a similar incident a couple of weeks ago, so erring on the side of caution, I made an early morning appointment to get it checked out. Easy peasy.
Except, I guess, uhhhh some tornadoes rolled through Arkansas around that time. Luckily for me, I live about 40 minutes away from Little Rock, so I’m okay dokey, but wow… I’m just… seeing LR get hit so bad by tornadoes is kinda messing me up. My dumb brain is always telling me it’s the small towns that get hit, which is… stupid. Stupid thought. I’ve always hated tornadoes. I hate loud thunderstorms. Ever since I was a kid. Gentle rain? Love it. Downpour? Real nice? Heavy rain and Thunder? … ok maybe okay. But tornadoes scare the hell out of me. And apparently there are more on the way.
Segue. Went to the appointment. Hated it. But they gave me some zofran, made me feel like I was over exaggerating, and did some tests, which I still haven’t heard back about, but I’m not dead right now so I suppose they can wait. Hey, so remember when I said I hate tornadoes? Well, I guess ignore that because apparently I was okay driving around while sirens were going off, BUT KEEP IN MIND: 1) I was basically an empty shell after hours of purging and no sleep, & 2) I didn’t realize how bad the weather was going to be because, ya know, I guess I’d been puking instead of checking the weather, for some reason.
Whatever, anyway, since it’s been the weekend, I’ve just been sleeping and playing Yakuza. I feel gross! Why am I writing all this? I don’t know… yeah…
#I mean… bad things happen… and if I don’t mention it… how will I get attention?#okay I feel shitty mentioning the tornadoes in the same text post as me being sick as if they’re equal#or I’m being… what’s a good word? paranoid doesn’t feel right. self-doubting? I know there’s a word that fits#my guts are killing me#I feel simultaneously nauseas and ravenous#maybe I have a tape worm 🤷🏻♂️#she needs to cool it#yeah worms can be girls too. deal with it#my brother had a chess tournament in Little Rock on Saturday but they canceled it#which… yeah good idea because shits fucked up…#it’s not tornado season! I hate this!#now I’m going to be anxious every time a thunderstorm rolls through#also I got big windows in my room. I’m always scared they’re going to get blown out.#I also live next to those big kinda power lines. I can hear all that human frying electricity just two houses down from me…#I’m gonna get covered in broke glass and sucked up into an electric tornado#I think we should blow up all the tornadoes with bombs#I got prescribed a drug that says take 4 times a day AND it nullifies ALL MY OTHER DRUGS#sorry body… you ain’t taking that#I can’t believe the nurse would look at my current prescriptions and say “hey ignore all those and take this superfluous one”#I mean… I can believe it. she didn’t really have a great bedside manner…#we’re all grumpy here lady! be nice to me!#this is stupid. why would you read all of this? I’m sorry.#you can ignore this#text
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He's just a gunky goopy lil guy
#qsmp#slimecicle#bobby qsmp#gegg#animation#lil animation before doomsday cause that conversation with bobby the other night GUTTED me guys#somethin anout slime having to so rapidly change the way he saw bobby (only a few seconds ago at that) and finally getting#some of that understanding and forgiveness he needs from someone who also knew tilin and blamed him for their death#and it coming from bobby#most violent kid on the server /aff#who he was talking about killing just a few seconds prior and who had the same outlook of blaming slime for tilins death as slime himself#REALLY gets to me#also bobby who's afraid of what might happen to him in the next few days#AAGHHHHHHHH#THEY BOTH LOVED TILINNNNN#(and both felt guilty)#my art#gif#(I think he was just trying to be a good uncle and messed up)#(I really hope you make it B)#(tell slime to feel free to go back to being himself)#(you're a good egg bobby)#<- looking at these line specifically#also the way charlie gets all quiet after he realizes bobby's talking about tilin#charlies conversations with leo and bobby as gegg both really got me#:(((((((
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mmm throwaway conversation between Dan and Danny that popped into my head that I had to write out:
"You spent ten years being a one-man mass extinction event, then went back in time and fought me, and lost." Danny snarls, arms crossed and throat tight. His mouth pulls back to bare dagger-sharp teeth, and his eyes burn with the familiar thrum of ectoplasm heating up behind his eyes. "If I didn't believe you were half of Vlad before, I do now."
His other self -- and really, can he even call him that? He's half of Vlad too. Two halves severed from each other and welded together to make a new whole, -- snaps his head over to him. Wild-eyed and furious, he looks unlike the man Danny fought before, the one unruffled and untouched, unbothered by the world around him. It's familiar, but not like the way a reflection is.
"What's that supposed to mean." The Other hisses, matching Danny's scowl one-for-one with fangs much bigger and sharper than his.
But there's a reason lions fear hyenas. Danny matches the rumble in The Other's chest with one of his own, and shoves his face close to his. "I don't lose."
#danny fenton#danny phantom#dp prompt#danny phantom prompt#dan phantom#dark danny#not meant for any particular au i just had the idea of danny going 'wow you can tell you're half of vlad' to dan and when questioned abt it#he says; 'if you were REALLY only me you wouldn't have lost' which is fucking BASED as hell. and also technically true#thought process for danny here was 'hates dan's fucking GUTS bc he tried to kill his family and friends without remorse and would actively#rip out his throat without a moment's notice.' some fr 'im going to beat you to death with my bare hands!' vibes rn.#not totally in character for danny but also i was thinking that it got to this point bc dan was goading danny about 'being his future self'#when that's not technically true. he's half of vlad too he just has danny's face and powers. and he pissed off danny enough that he#retaliated. just not in the way dan expected. dan was expecting a physical attack not a verbal one.#danny called him a loser in more ways than one.#also the reason danny never calls him 'dan' in this is because i was thinking that danny doesn't actually *have* a name to call him. bc he'#certainly not danny. but he's not vlad either. he's someone else entirely. so 'The Other' it is.#danny fenton is not the ghost king#<- down here because while its still MY DP post its not DPXDC so it doesnt need to be front and center for people to see it.
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❗️SPOILERS FOR BATMAN #148❗️
dc killing off my boy again lol :')
ty chip zdarsky for another unoriginal story arc
#honestly if they acc kill jason fr i wouldnt mind#cuz dc writers are SO bad at writing him geniunely please let him rest until an actual writer can do him justice#but also my gut tells me this scene is a fake out lol like one punch??? thats all it took to end him??#spoilers#dc comics#batman 148#jason todd#red hood#bruce wayne#fanatical posting
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8x03 - Guerilla My Dreams
#talktag#mash#my gifs#hawkeye pierce#bj hunnicutt#THANK Y'ALLLLL FOR THE SUPPORT ON MY LAST POST this is so fun for me to do#excellent way for me to kill time and still be ''productive''#watched this episode for the first time today and hawkeye swearing punched me in the gut#when i finished watching i KNEW this had to be my next gifset
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Update *insert the "Im gonna brown" video here*
Why does god give her hardest periods to her strongest trans men...
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Abernant sister reunion, out like lights :(
flat color under the cut
#fh s2 e10#please oh my god the way Adaine talks to her on this episode kills me#something so gut wrenching about her realization that Aelwyn was being hurt too#‘you were horrible to me but nobody deserves what they’ve done to you’ I’m going to die everywhere#they hurt me so bad#something about siblings man#the bit where Aelwyn builds up a little shield around them is devastating and I will never ever recover#fantasy high#d20#d20 fantasy high#dimension 20#d20 fanart#fhsy#d20 fhsy#fhsy spoilers#adaine abernant#aelwyn abernant#aelwyn o'shaughnessey#adaine o'shaughnessey#abernant sisters#my art
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I am always thinking TimJay thoughts related to the fact that they have matching scars from getting their throats slit, and not only that, but Jason slit Tim's throat first in an attempt to threaten Bruce, where Tim was nothing more than a pawn for Jason to use to emotionally manipulate Bruce.
batman (1940) #618
And then, just a little while later when Jason is trying to confront Bruce and do his whole dramatic moment with Joker in UTRH, and Bruce slits Jason's throat to stop Jason from killing the Joker.
batman (1940) #650
It makes me so Unwell. They have literal matching scars. When do you think Jason realizes it? When do you think, while running his fingers over the scar he has to always remind himself that Bruce was willing to jeopardize Jason's own life just to save the Joker, Jason realized it was the same scar *he* gave Tim? And does it click for him too, that he and Tim are a lot alike? Being used as pawns in Bruce's game? And for the first time he maybe understands Tim Drake, just another kid trying to get Bruce's attention and approval? And Jason did to Tim exactly what Bruce did to Jason? And that's part of what spurns on Jason's obsession with Tim, trying to "save" Tim from Bruce's ideology?
When they finally get together does it make Jason even more possessive? He put that mark on Tim and now he has his own to match. It's the closest to being understood and loved he's ever felt when Tim runs his fingers over Jason's scar at the same time Jason touches Tim's. Mirrors of each other, in a fun, fucked up little way.
#jaytim#timjay#batcest#tim drake x jason todd#jason todd x tim drake#necrotic festerings#i would've included the proper panel where the batarang slits jasons throat but i've gotta be so honest with you#i can't fucking take that panel seriously. the art is *so* bad. why does jason's face look like that.#it ruins what should be one of the most important moments in jason and bruce's history. everytime i look at it i either laugh or cry#anyway it makes me unwell that jason scars tim first bc i usually see ppl mix this moment up with the titans tower moment#which would make it post-utrh#but no it's from batman: hush which comes first which is so much more fun for me when it comes to jason coping#like first you have to handle knowing the man you saw as a father bataranged your throat to save the guy who killed you#and then you realized he incidently gave you a scar that now matches the scar you gave the replacement you fucking hate?#i'd also be so unwell about it i'd go beat tim's ass at titans tower.#in my timjay little mind this is the true state of jason's complicated weird feelings about tim#the realization they have the same scar forces him to reevaluate his gut reaction to tim's existence#and thus his spiral into obsession and testing tim then trying to recruit tim begins.#i did in fact post this instead of writing fanfic don't mind it. i'm having a time. i'm also avoiding doing dishes.#i like ships besides timjay i SWEAR they're just on the mind as of recent
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-"Start Here" by Caitlyn Siehl
#berserk#griffith#guts#griffguts#berserk manga#words#my posts#i have soooo many quotes that remind me of them that haunt me im going insane#i post more of them eventually#for now this is all the display of mental illness yall get#idk how to tag lol#guts berserk#griffith berserk#this very obviously is refering to how guts percieves griffith and the immediate change in his stance when he saw him again as the human#that he loved and cared for very deeply to the point that he forgot that this was actually “the monster” he had sought to kill all that time#im not at all implying anything abt griffith's nature changing#just about hoe you can never truly see someone as simply “monstruous” if you love them hard enough#how***#SPELLING MISTAKES MY MORTAL ENEMY
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I love unhinged women
#pokemon uranium#leafeon#urayne#i love lucille but the protag goes from probably not having an opinion on their mom besides being the reason their dad left to being#that one person who tried to kill you multiple times - caused a few nuclear meltdowns - tried to kill your dad and your best friend#i NEEEDDD her to wake up i cant imagine how strained their relationship is going to be on top of CURIE absolutely hating your guts#anyway i only got 3 hours of sleep bc my brain wouldnt let me sleep until i finished this#i have 2 hours til work wish me luck in getting at least a wink of sleep#my art#pokemon uranium spoilers
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do you get déjà vu?
#i’m fucking killing myself…….its the same expression#and also the same fate :(#this hit me out of fucking nowhere and it felt like a knife just twisted into my gut#bungou stray dogs beast#bungou stray dogs#bsd
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teen wolf meme: [1/4] families -> the argents
Our family has a surprisingly progressive tradition. Knowing wars and violence are typically started by men, we place the final decisions - the hard ones - with the women. Our sons are trained to be soldiers. Our daughters... to be leaders.
#teen wolf#argent family#allison argent#chris argent#victoria argent#gerard argent#kate argent#twedit#twgifs#mine#my gifs#twmeme#THEY'RE SOOOO INSANE#i love the argents sm did you know that#they're soo fascinating and fanatical i eat that shit up#do i like all of them as people? no actually i like very few of them as people#but as fictional characters and as a fictional family they're sooooo good and interesting#i know alot of people hate most of their guts but personally i think jill wagner is so insanely hot i don't care as long as i get to look a#her and gerard is suuuuch a diva and victoria's quick rant about teenage marijuana usage as she's trying to kill scott is iconic TO ME#also yes most of these gifs are from season two but that's because it's the peak argent family insanity season
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hey guys do we realize that the main difference betwen how kai and midori developed is that kai was given the chance to learn what normal life and love and family was like by working with chidouins while midori was kept under asunaros thumb all his life. do we realize that just a few changes could have kai acting just as cruel and merciless as midori. do we realize that midori is a victim of asunaro too, and though that doesn't excuse his actions it does make them more tragic. do we realize this or are we all being serious when we say midori is the only character who isn't worth redemption.
#77ngiez speaks#yttd#sou hiyori#yttd midori#midori yttd#you can also see parts of this with fake hinako too#how she used to be just as cold and cruel and she just barely began softening uo when being shown care by the dummies#also it was physically painful to have to call sou 'midori' but thats what everyone in the fandom calls him so. sighs. sacrifices had to be#i am sou hiyori apologist numero uno i think he is a tragic character and a victim of his situation#i dont think that excuses his actions or behaviors but i also think we as a fandom must all keep in mind that he was raised in A LITERAL#DEATH CULT#people call it creepy when sou says he wished he coulda killed shin himself but people just call it sweet and tragic when sei asked kai to#kill him himself#as if they werent both the same sentiment that came from the same place#ahem. clears my throat#i think ppl should be a little nicer to sou. hes just a silly guy#and believe me i have reason to hate his guts [not elaborating but my beef with him is personal /srs]#but he is in fact my blorbo#if u guys can forgive miley safalin ranger and shin#surely you can forgive sou. just a smidgin#posts i made bcs i got mad abt ppl saying 'MIDORI CANT BE A GREENBLING HES TOO EVIL'#as if those same ppl dont eat up kai and sara siblingisms#OK I NEED TO SHUT UP NOW. thank u to anybody who read these tags in full
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I think my ultimate thoughts re; Kipperlilly is that I wish we got a scene where a character was allowed to show her... sympathy. I know there's a tone you wanna hit with a victorious season finale, and a somber note of a teenager falling into a deep well of rage doesnt match that tone but it would've been nice to see.
In my dream world, we get an extra epilogue scene where Riz goes to see Jawbone to go and talk to him, and brings up the thing he mentioned about "seeing Kipperlilly in himself" -- relating that to what Jawbone said at the beginning of the year, and wanting to talk about that deeply set in need for control, and the latent anger he has, and all the ways he is like Kipperlilly, and doesn't want to be.
And in response, Jawbone is able to address the ways in which he failed Kipperlilly, and let her down. That she needed more help than he could provide, that she needed someone who wasn't too afraid of their own biases to shut down her anger, someone who could maybe have given her a support system to turn to instead of Porter. Someone external to the school and the social dynamics within it. Just an acknowledgement from, as far as we know, the only adult in Kipperlilly's life who earnestly tried -- and earnestly failed -- to help her find a better path than her rage.
Just a small moment of acknowledgement that Kipperlilly was a child, an angry, scared, biased and deeply insecure child who was looking for help when she first walked into Jawbone's office, and because of all the adults who failed her, she was turned into something unrecognisable by the time she was 17.
#fhjy spoilers#fhjy#kipperlilly copperkettle#dimension 20#i feel like i need to clarify that i dont think she did nothing wrong#i understand that her anger when she was a kid was unreasonable and biased and terrible#but she was also a thirteen year old who didnt know anything about the world#and she was going to see jawbone frequently#so its not like she wasnt doing anything about it#and i feel so deeply upset about how much she was let down by both well- and ill- intentioned adults throughout her short high school caree#but jawbone was the one who first brought up the similarities between her and riz#like he said that kNOWING she goes into his office and talks about how much she wants to kill kristen applebees and hates riz's guts#so!!! please show me that he cares. that he can see despite everything kipperlilly is a kid#i dont need her revived. i just need her acknowledged that her anger issues were turned into a weapon#i dont CARE that she did it willingly. porter offered her something no other adult could i dont blame her for accepting#in my actual dream world we get a clip of riz offering her a hand and helping her up post-revivify#but that dream world is far off </3
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get it here x
#diary#shirt#sacrilege#religion#god#my shirts#funny shirt#clothes#god would kill me if he had the guts#idk how to tag this#judas#LMAO
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