#my grandmothers and my parents
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Staying in the closet out of spite
#there’s like 4 people in the whole world I will never come out to and all of them are directly related to me#my grandmothers and my parents#bcs like? you abuse and neglect me? fuck you then.#no name for you. u don’t get my name and pronouns. you are specifically excluded.#Starbucks barista and random strangers get my name#the whole internet can have my name and pronouns.#not you because you suxk#they’re not even phobic really they’re just shitty#chaoticbuggybitchboy#transgender#nonbinary#trans#lgbtqia#text post#I am salty and petty and it’s justified#actually tbh if any of my friends were in my position I would help them hide the bodies so me not coming out is actually only mild petty
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angrboda, designated cowgirl
#my art#angrboda#god of war ragnarok#gow#god of war ragnarok spoilers#just a girl and her surprisingly accessorized cow#i do have to wonder if she made all of jalla’s tack and equipment or if they’re leftovers from her parents and grandmother#like girlie where are you getting your supplies#anyhow i adore her and found her chunk of the game one of the most enjoyable parts#i did make jalla bigger than she is in game tho whoops
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Kinda in regards to the Empress & BodyGuard 2-
Is Zaphira (sorry if I spelled her name wrong) an elf or do humans have pointed ears in your universe? If no elves, how do the pointed ears happen? Are there different length of ears and if so do they mean somethin?
Love your art & use of colours!
Thank you! and thank you for asking! (this sketch took me way too long .. and the colors still look washed out on my desktop screen but im not editing a third time ..)
Zaphira is human, there are no elves, as such, in this world, though humans tend to live longer than IRL and have differently shaped ears-
the shapes are rather diverse (example above) and culturally (so far) they have no significance, they are merely a trait just like different nose shapes or fantasy hair colors
the worldbuilding reason is that these are extremely diluted demonic influences- in the past demons were frequently in the human world, though largely in secret/disguised, and long time exposure to demonic presences can have varying effects, the most immediate and common being a longer life or wounds healing faster than normal; there might have been other long time effects but the only trait that stayed even after their disappearance is the ear shapes
(there was a mass extinction event of demons that wiped out all above a certain age, since demons generally dont die of natural causes their life neither depends nor revolves around reproduction so there were extremely few left and those were too young to keep most of their knowledge and culture alive, as they rarely wrote anything down; Shargon is of the current oldest generation and witnessed it happen, just like most now adult demons, Thor and Eadrya are both a bit older than him and thus the oldest living demons, which doesnt mean much considering the technically endless lifespans of them)
and to explain me including Shargon in a human appearance- hes the only demon that spends as much time in the human world as at home, largely to escape the others since they are not interested in going there and would otherwise attack him any chance they get (the human world is rather uncomfortable for demons to be in and they have better things to do than to chase him that far), while hes generally very weak compared to them, something he is very good at is shape shifting, mainly the speed of which, being able to shift between full demon and the smaller more humanoid form extremely quickly, or even mid forms that are a mix of both - even in motion! while for the others it takes them quite a bit and forces them to stop which is the main reason he keeps escaping them not able to keep up with his rapid shape shifting (though it does take its toll .. also a reason hes so skinny)
he is the first (only?) one that at some point will learn how to shift into a much more human looking one (depicted in the sketch) too, but its rather dangerous since it involves supressing and compressing his demon heart and system... which is what keeps demons alive (its somewhat like holding your breath for way too long) so the only time he would make use of it is in extreme situations, like avoiding detection by maschines that can pick up demonic energy or escaping shackles made of celestial silver (which drains their energy and can scar/hurt them permanently, like silver to vampires(?werewolfs?) in a way)
....the point is that if he shifts into a human form he has very long ears, meaning that is basically the extreme form that doesnt occur in humans and hints at the origins for those ear shapes being demonic exposure in the past
#ganondoodles#art#original characters#original art#oc#ocs#oc lore#man i cant ever keep it short can i#its 1am again ............#welll i hope that answers your question njdflndflnjlsd#also as a sidenote- zaphira and midas are siblings but not biologically#she was adopted into the royal family and is good chunk older than midas as he was born a while after shes been there#he was supposed to take the throne after their parents died in an allegedly accidental fire but he was like ... 6 at the time#and begged her to take up the throne instead despite the people not being very fond of her due to her agressive nature#.... which was proven correct in a way given she waged war for many years after taking up the crown#(.. bc she found out their parents were killed by a neighbouring country and the fire placed to get rid of traces)#(no one but her and a few officials knew of that being the real reason she attacked that country and not just a lust for power)#(midas still doesnt know -even now)#( though it got out of control and she ended up taking over multiple countries .. hence her title)#(after her wife died she swore to never engage in war again and been spending the last .. 20?30? years trying to repair the damage she did)#just adding that again bc its kinda central to her entire problem of everyone and their grandmother wanting her dead#and her being determined to do as much as she can before midas has to take over and pick up the pieces#..............though none of it goes as planned of course#ANYWAY i need sleep#sorry for the long text spam#i cant help but yap about my special lil guys
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This isnt done but I really wanted to share it in case I dont finish it
#you cant really tell but the hands guiding Maddie's in covering Eliza's eyes are his mom and grandmother#the piece is meant to be about the trauma we inherit from our parents#maddie taught Eliza to be ashamed of her eyes and to always obscure them and avoid eyecontact where she can#but he only taught her that because his mother taught him and his sister to be the same way#and his mother learned the behavior from her mother#skid was here#my art#my ocs
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So as someone who has several family members who know WAY too many things about medical stuff and who herself knows a lot about medical things (yes there is a doctor in the family and yes anxiety runs in our family why do you ask?), I feel like if Phee was pregnant, not only would Tech be a typical panicking first time dad who is researching car seats like he’s going to write a peer-reviewed paper, but he would probably also making himself extremely stressed by continuing to research pregnancy and childbirth.
#also tech is like this as well if one of his siblings is sick or hurt but with Phee it’s that on steroids#my dad kept looking at things and stressing and my mom was like ENOUGH#my parents are quite similar to tech and Phee so I feel like this would be how the dynamic would be#tech and Phee are actually also similar to my grandparents funnily enough#my grandfather starts researching so intensely if my grandmother has a cough or something and starts convincing her to go to the doctor#meanwhile she’s like ???#but she does it to calm him down#star wars the bad batch#the bad batch#tbb tech#tbb phee#star wars tbb#techphee#phee x tech#tech x phee#phee genoa#tw: pregnancy#tw: childbirth
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I need advice.
I’m a white intern working in a mostly white southern(ish) high school. Students of Color number at under 2%, perhaps even lower. It’s a very white, rural community - I grew up in a fairly mixed, suburban northern community, and part of my family is Black.
Several of my white students say rude things to my Students of Color. I’ve told them to knock it off *as appropriately as I can* but I’m probably one of the few adults that actively discourage that behavior.
I don’t want to let this shit fly under the radar, but I also know that if an adult of authority *who will only be here for a couple more weeks* interferes, and then doesn’t stick around, it could make things worse. Additionally, I know these kids are probably very very very used to this ‘system’ and that making a short-term change could be more harmful than helpful.
I asked one of my senior students after a very racist incident *where she was laughing along with the perpetrator but I told him to stop anyway* that I can move him, or her, so she could be more comfortable (admin either does nothing or slaps wrists, especially for seniors). She said it was fine and that he was always like that.
I must emphasize, I think they were bantering (they talk so much I think they consider each other friends?), but it was also wayyy fucking out of line, especially in a school setting. And the guy says so much out of line shit I’m surprised he isn’t rocking a full set of dentures to replace the teeth he ought to have lost by now.
Another student took me up on my offer to move people, but I ended up moving him, which sucks because he was the victim in this situation. Unfortunately, I have to keep his aggressors in their spots, as they are highly rowdy in all the ways and require a lot more supervision than he did. And the class is really full. These were also all freshmen, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that affected the victim’s reaction.
So I’d really appreciate advice as to whether I should let it be, or continue as is, or step it up even more, from People of Color in largely white, especially rural, communities. Like any advice from current or previous educators, especially Educators of Color would be appreciated, but specifically southern/rural ones would be wonderful. I’m going to talk to my family members about it, but they’ve lived in more Northern settings their entire lives and they may have less … applicable (?) experience to the situation.
Again, I’m an intern, I’m going to only be there until winter break 2024, and I don’t want to fuck things up for these kids in the long run with my northern ally ‘sensibilities’. Thank you!
#education#help#advice#educators of color#students of color#academia#slightly more context: the senior was a Black girl. there are not a lot of Black students but there’s multiple of them from different#families (though I also tutor her little brother). so she may have community to fall back upon and that might feel like enough for her#the freshman boy is mixed Asian and as far as I can tell is the only Asian kid currently in this high school#since we’re in Appalachia of course a lot of people say shit like ‘my great grandmother was Cherokee’ (apologies to the Cherokee community#but I’m quoting these people) but some of my students are much more tan and experience a bit of colorism. again I try to shut that down but#idk how far to take it. the one girl who is definitely Indigenous (I’m not going to specify further because it’s a small community) doesn’t#seem to be treated negatively for it and seems quite proud so I’m glad for her#but she also passes as one of the tan students so idk if she’s just comfortable bringing it up around me and it doesn’t come up near#racist students or what.#more context I forgot to bring up: I’m pretty sure most if not all of the Black students are mixed or have mixed parents. so they may#have white family members that make this system of poor treatment seem okay? or white family members#who help compensate for the racist people in the community?#I really don’t fucking know and I really don’t want to make things worse for anyone#getting ‘aggressive’ protection from a student intern may NOT be helpful#idk#thank you for reading this far
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What do you mean by Nabokov’s handwriting having a Russian accent? Is he writing in a style of handwriting that was unique to Russia at the time?
Nabokov used an informal style of Russian cursive to write in English. Here is a picture of entries in his travel journal, where he wrote in both languages—you can see the characteristics that carry over from Cyrillic to Latin.
#a lot of people who immigrate when they're older write like this—i recognize it because my parents and grandmother do this as well#it's trippy for me to read because my brain glitches a little processing cyrillic hardware running latin software#it's kinda like toggling the language setting back and forth#vladimir nabokov#toska#cosmo-naute#assbox
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do it. gimme the Izzy straight-coded meta 👀
I feel like I need to preface this by saying that Actually, Izzy Is Straightcoded would be the inflammatory clickbait title I'd give this if it were written to draw traffic & ad revenue to my shitty website. So don't take that term too seriously.
There has been a lot of ink spilled about Izzy thinking he's in a story where one can only be subtextually queer. Some even by yours truly, but the more I think about it, the less sense it makes. What would be the purpose of queercoding Izzy?
In general, villains* aren't queercoded to show that men being attracted to other men is bad. It's often the outcome; but it's not why the trope exists. It exists because cishet people tend to be (and are encouraged to be) profoundly uncomfortable with gender nonconformity, and so, making a character gnc becomes a quick and easy way to make him appear twisted and untrustworthy. If he** can't even obey the fundamental rules of his own gender (rules that are inherent and unchangeable!) what other rules does he disobey?
Or: If a man is insufficiently masculine, he can't be trusted to have morals. The villain isn't gnc because that's an evil trait to have; rather, the gender nonconformity is a symptom of his evilness. Being evil is what enables him to embrace his feminine side, and embracing his feminine side is what others him and marks him as a villain.
This only really works when he's contrasted with a hero (or heroine) who is Doing Gender Correctly. The villain is foul to highlight how good the hero is. The Hero will be honest and straightforward, brave, physically powerful; the Queercoded Villain treacherous, cowardly, and physically weak. The hero is a Proper Man, a Good Person. The villain an Improper Man, and therefore, a Bad Person.
Of course ofmd fundamentally rejects this. The shorthand wouldn't work, because ofmd simply doesn't think effeminacy is creepy. It's uninterested in moralizing self-expression; it just lets people be how they are. There's a wide range of expressions of masculinity on this show, and none of it is inherently bad. People are allowed to be hypermasculine, flamboyant, and anything inbetween, can express their gender in whatever manner they want, and it's all fine - as long as they are authentic about it. Be however you are, but be yourself, and this is what Izzy fails at. The repression marks him as a villain. The strict adherence to what he thinks a Real Man Pirate ought to be like. He's very preoccupied with enforcing a traditional (and toxic) masculinity on himself and others. It's no coincidence the characters he antagonizes the most - Stede and Lucius - are also the most effeminate ones. And I know, I know anglophones have a much more casual relationship to twat and cunt, those don't nearly feel as uncomfortable for y'all as they do for me, so I don't want to assign too much significance here, but he is the only character who constantly uses this kind of language, and also the one who uses the most gender&sexuality based slurs (as far as I remember).
All of this while being clearly, obviously queer himself! I do not feel like I need to explain this; his flustered reaction when Lucius asks him if he's ever been sketched speaks for itself. The fact that he meets Stede and immediately slices his shirt off of him, speaks for itself. And so on.
Izzy isn't straightcoded in the sense that the story wants us to believe he's exclusively attracted to women. Much like a queercoded villain doesn't need to be shown to be attracted to men (and can even be shown to be attracted exclusively to women!) to still be queercoded. He's straightcoded in the sense that he's a stand-in for restrictive and toxic gender roles that society enforces on people. He buys into the idea that there's a way of Doing Gender Wrong, and this is presented as a tragic character flaw. Something he has to overcome to be able to do the thing that actually marks a hero in this show: express himself authentically.
Part of why I found his death so moving is because it enables him to set right the toxicity he spread. His rehabilitation arc was about himself; about finally allowing himself to be, accepting love, accepting community. His death was about taking responsibility. About fully recognizing the hurt he caused. Looking death in the face enables him to finally abandon the last shreds of that toxicity, to apologize and be granted forgiveness. In the end, he was not beyond saving, and the harm he has done will be healed.
*Izzy is introduced as an antagonist to both Stede and the central romance of this romcom. I'm not gonna debate this; if you disagree, fine, but you clearly have such a fundamentally wrong different view of the show that it's pointless for us to try and convince each other.
**of course Queercoded Female Villains exist s well, but they are a whole different can of worms and less relevant to this discussion
#okay now that i typed this all out i realize that i just basically keep writing the same izzy post over and over sorry for that#but i spent too long on it not to post it#i do not remember who said it but i saw a post a few days ago along the lines of#izzys death reads like the fantasy of a repentant abusive parent#and i think theres truth to that#may also read like the fantasy of the kid of an abused parent#finally the person who hurt you is able to apologize and you can part on good terms#but also wont have to deal w the fallout#i write as my grandmother who doesnt speak to us is probably dying idk#anyway!#i hope this is somewhat interesting#our flag means death#ofmd s2 spoilers#izzy hands#thoughts#anonymaus#message
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#0060509 Statement of Fatima Bakhash, regarding the reading habits of her grandson, Jonathan Sims.
In other words, I wrote a TMA fic where Jon's grandmother gives a statement about her grandson's childhood, when he started becoming an Avatar of the Eye much, much earlier.
#jkfnsg SO EXCITED TO SHARE THIS#this whole AU where a bunch of the archival staff are avatars already is ROTATING IN MY BRAIN#Also I love Fatima I am deeply attached to her even if she wildly traumatised her grandson through terrible parenting#We can't all be perfect#Jonathan Sims#TMA#The Magnus Archives#MagPod#Jonathan Sims' Grandmother#OC: Fatima Bakhash#Gerard Keay#he turns up so I get to tag him lol#Fanfiction#Fae's Fic#Fae's Stuff#The Monsters in the Basement AU
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God, US politics are gonna make me break my fucking clean streak
#Me and my parents are discussing moving to Finland with my grandmother on my father’s side if everything goes to hell#It seems like it is#So…#can’t wait to see gran earlier than usual#us politics#us elections#politics#election#get out#finland#runway#running#god we’re fucked#Sorry for all the doom posting about the election but America is fuckin wild rn#tw self harn#tw skipping meals#cw#cw sh mention#cw sh#Fuck#I’ve been clean for so long#i might just kms
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i feel fucking horrible being a freelancer against ur will sucks so bad
#like not to be this way but i simply do not earn enough money to live even a little bit and my parents#think im a fucking failure also my grandmother died in front of me 2 months ago and i turn 25 this week#and i have a masters degree. Okay
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Tried to talk with a women in my house, tried to help them in a work or another chore, and every time, every single time, they make me feel so outsider, and so unheard and unseen..Like I'm someone who doesn't belong there. I try so hard to fit in, to feel like I'm theirs. but But it doesn't. It doesn't work. They throw me out like bullies, spitting on my face, and to tell me i don't belong here. They make me feel like I'm so dumb I don't know how to do this chore, I'm so dumb and unskilled and I could never learn right? I am never theirs and I never could be. And suddenly I'm 7 again, eating lunch alone in school. Every child, even though, dressed like me, is different from me. I'm someone else. I'm someone different and alien, who people could never accept, who can never fit in. and is just an outsider. just a visitor. No one else. No one else.
#heartbreak era#desi teen#tried to make matthis with my grandmother and mother#ended up in tears#desi life#parenting#desi parents#they could never do it
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apparently the only time i watch shit with my family is chinese american stuff
#Watching interior chinatoqn and god fuck me im going to cry ibthink#I have the hugest soft spot for old asian grandmothers and immigranta and asian american stories#Especially since its in chinatown and the main character is cantonese and jimmy o yang is also from hk#And ronny chieng reminds my mother of my uncle lmao#Completely unrelated but i keep thinking he looks like bible without his glasses its terrifying#Whooo i vcan count in canto anyway i caught the parents scene#Grrrr just makes me think of my popo and then i get choked up and then i think of my MOTHERS popo and the fact i never really got to meet h#And . I wish i couldve talked to her like she wouldve been fucking proud of me#And ive never been in the shitty tenements or her mahjong parlor and eurhg#Whatever i need to focus on the hot woman. And plot i guess#Ans its funny. I need to stop my fucking identiy crisiss and watch this show. Yay!#cue rambles#Everytime im in chinatown i miss being 5 again and talking with th aunyies whatever anyway
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the cycle of mother-daughter trauma is a fucking ouroboros why is arguing with my mother the exact same as watching her argue with her mother. i am not me asking my mom to hear what i am saying i am my mom begging her mother to hear what she's saying. sick and twisted mirror that reflects itself in spirals all the way down
#in related news being alone in a kitchen together is a DEATH TRAP??#EVERY TIME WE ARE STANDING IN THIS GODDAMN KITCHEN!!!! AND HOW MANY TIMES DID I SEE SHIT GO DOWN IN MY GRANDMOTHERS KITCHEN!!!!!#I HATE IT HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i know theres a LOT of nuance and a lot of issues with the whole 'oh lol brown parents be like-'#but uh. they werent lying that assyrian women sure can communication issues#mine#trauma discussion#i GUESS????????#eldest daughter syndrome#<- self indulgent vent tag subgenre#ok to rb
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Well, it's been a hell of a couple of weeks, and one of many things that happened is that I ended up coming home from Urgent Care looking rather like fruit being packed up for long distance shipping.
I got pretty scraped up when I fell while hiking nearly a month ago. Then I got significantly better... and then I got a whole lot worse.
If you would like to avoid some truly disgusting and painful wounds, you should know that you are likely to develop an allergy to Neosporin if you use it for multiple weeks (and probably the same goes for other brands of over-the-counter antibiotic ointments, I'm guessing).
#in better news#my parents and I successfully moved my grandmother to a retirement home#where she's been on the waiting list for over a year#there's lots left to do still but great progress#and it was hard but went well#and i got my parents each to sign up for some big health treatments they need but have been avoiding thinking about#and i tested positive for covid but it turned out to be a rare false positive#(though that cost us some time with the move while i isolated until i got PCR results)#so yeah overall a hell of a week and a half#also my parents and i rewatched S1 of Ted Lasso#and they were like#'you sure know a lot about this show'#XD#toasty life#contact dermatitis#neosporin allergy#i might be a fruit well-packaged for shipping#op#50
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The thing that pisses me off is Ai-oon's self sacrificial lies would have crumbles under the slightest scrutiny but it appeared granny to focus exclusively on Oab-oom so she couldn't be arsed to check anything.
Like, Ai-oon getting a scholarship should have been a huge deal if she's apparently been struggling academically her entire life although considering she got into Chiang Mai University I feel like her struggle was because she was the only one keeping her grandmother from dying from overwork but noone checked.
Neither the grandmother nor Oab-oom tried to help Ai-oon get a good job in the apparent like, 6 years since she graduated, and if Oab-oom's wasn't in a coma the grandmother have continued not giving a shit.
Ai-oon spent years working menial jobs so she could have the flexibility to care for her grandmother and her younger sister even though her sister's the exact same fucking age and still got her degree which 30 which she paid for herself, and the grandmother's response to this "can't believe I wasted my life on you."
Ai-oon's might have to leave this lady to work herself into the grave I'm sorry.
#i know do hoi's father got shitty parent of the year but pluto granny might be giving him a run for his money in the emotional torture#and oab oom is deffo a bit fucked up herself with the whole cheating thing#Ai-oon said i made up with my grandmother to may and i said when?#pluto the series#pluto
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