#more context I forgot to bring up: I’m pretty sure most if not all of the Black students are mixed or have mixed parents. so they may

[deathsmallcaps]

I need advice.

I’m a white intern working in a mostly white southern(ish) high school. Students of Color number at under 2%, perhaps even lower. It’s a very white, rural community - I grew up in a fairly mixed, suburban northern community, and part of my family is Black.

Several of my white students say rude things to my Students of Color. I’ve told them to knock it off *as appropriately as I can* but I’m probably one of the few adults that actively discourage that behavior.

I don’t want to let this shit fly under the radar, but I also know that if an adult of authority *who will only be here for a couple more weeks* interferes, and then doesn’t stick around, it could make things worse. Additionally, I know these kids are probably very very very used to this ‘system’ and that making a short-term change could be more harmful than helpful.

I asked one of my senior students after a very racist incident *where she was laughing along with the perpetrator but I told him to stop anyway* that I can move him, or her, so she could be more comfortable (admin either does nothing or slaps wrists, especially for seniors). She said it was fine and that he was always like that.

I must emphasize, I think they were bantering (they talk so much I think they consider each other friends?), but it was also wayyy fucking out of line, especially in a school setting. And the guy says so much out of line shit I’m surprised he isn’t rocking a full set of dentures to replace the teeth he ought to have lost by now.

Another student took me up on my offer to move people, but I ended up moving him, which sucks because he was the victim in this situation. Unfortunately, I have to keep his aggressors in their spots, as they are highly rowdy in all the ways and require a lot more supervision than he did. And the class is really full. These were also all freshmen, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that affected the victim’s reaction.

So I’d really appreciate advice as to whether I should let it be, or continue as is, or step it up even more, from People of Color in largely white, especially rural, communities. Like any advice from current or previous educators, especially Educators of Color would be appreciated, but specifically southern/rural ones would be wonderful. I’m going to talk to my family members about it, but they’ve lived in more Northern settings their entire lives and they may have less … applicable (?) experience to the situation.

Again, I’m an intern, I’m going to only be there until winter break 2024, and I don’t want to fuck things up for these kids in the long run with my northern ally ‘sensibilities’. Thank you!

[lorax-devito]

Ahhh melvins fist kiss,such a lovely,romantic moment with such tenderness and definitely not el thinking and getting really happy over the fact that they might become siblings

okay I will admit malnourished fallopian tube can have some cute moments but this kiss just rubbed me the wrong way…it just seems very…forced and yeah,I get that ‘actions speak louder than words’ and all that but it’s just with the context it all just seems a bit…icky…

I’m not saying like forced himself into el but he kinda did,not in a technically bad way bc el never said no and all the complex stuff I’m not going to get into but by forced I mean that Mike got influenced or forced by Lucas and well el,she was fresh outta the lab she had no clue what was happening and as much as a want to regain my self from bringing up the whole ‘you’d be my brother’ incident (bc I bring it up a lot when comparing byler or using Melvin as an example for smth )I’m going too bc omg 😭the girl was not only okay with them just being bffs but she was exited over the idea of them being related and yeah,in els eyes that’s probably just friends considering the whole oh yeah,she was raised in a lab and called (I forgot her name) the other girl in leather her sister and papa told the other kids that they were all siblings and all that messed up stuff so ig she just sees siblings as friends or (the whole thing in s4 with her getting bullied in the lab and battered by the other kids In the lab) potential bullies.idk that’s just how I veiwed it but anyways here’s the byler stuff-

I’m leaning more onto the ‘passionate,sudden,I’ve gotta have you righty here right now’ kinda kiss with byler (if that’s the right way to explain it lol) but I also think a slow, gentle kiss with byler would be such a good contrast to mouldy eggs rushed kiss.the best way I can describe it is like the kiss in the fan fic ‘wills fluffy hair’ (I’ll link it at the bottom).

(I’m pretty sure that’s the right fic but they all kind of merge into one so if I got it wrong and realise I’ll change it later 💀)

if you can’t be bothered to read it basically Mike asks if will is okay,will cry’s bc he thinks Mike is lying/teasing him,it’s angst and I love it

basically the kids would be slow and Mike and will just taking their time,no interruptions,they keep asking each other is every inch or so that they move closer is okay and if anyone thinks ‘ewww that’s not hot or anything’ CONSENT IS MF HOT OK IM ALL FOR THE BIG ROMANTIC KISS WHERE THEY GO ALL IN AND ITS MESSY AND STUFF BUT IT CAN STILL BE ROMANTIC WITH CONSENT-okay,mini rant over,anyway they are both so terrified bc (Im pretty sure I’m quoting a fic rn😭god help me) is this allowed? Are they allowed to do this? It feels so wrong yet so right.

they have one small kiss,they’re lips barely touching or they are rlly close,noses brushing up against one another,neither one of them daring to be the one to break the small wall between their lips and omg I think I’ve done it again,good god I’ve quoted a fic,again😭

basically they are both so nervous and scared and then suddenly for one small moment everything goes away,they’re kissing and oh god it feels like heaven and then they both start crying and the just keep being big romantic,cheesy dorks and it’s emotional and all of the miscommunication gets cleared up and yeah,I just think that’s a nice way the byler kiss could go,I’m still a huge rain fight kiss fan (tbh I like most scenarios where they kiss and fall in live and are happy forever😭) but this is also nice,it itches a different kind a scratch,plus I just know that Noah would be able to pull his best acting skills out for that scene and melt our hearts which he’ll do anyway but we all know how this he is at crying scenes (I mean he’s had a lot of practice,I’m looking at you suffer bros🥲)

I think it’s is the right fic but as I said if I notice that I got it wrong then I’ll change it later,it’s still an amazing fic tho,so much angst😭😭

[thr-333]

Ok here’s the context. And here’s more context:

Junior paused, stopping his knife for a moment just to breathe. He looked up at his warped blurred reflection in the pans hanging on the wall. It was fine he could just say he was tired. It would be more believable if energy wasn’t coursing under his skin. His ninpo coming out in little flicks of light like static shock.

“Junior, do you mind giving me an extra hand?” His dad called from the other room. Junior took a deep stuttering breath kicking himself into gear.

“Sure thing Pops~” Quickly he sliced through the rest of the vegetables, scraping them off into the already boiling pot. Junior stared at it a moment, thoughts too loud yet nonsensical. He shook his head before he could get stuck again grabbing a towel to clean his hands as he walked out into the living room, “Dinner will be ready in a few,”

“You’re fantastic, you know that?” Dad asked, sitting on the couch, the blankets thrown haphazardly to the side as if they didn’t already have blood on them. He had a wad of bandages wedged between his arm and his shell.

“Yeah Dad,” Leo jr smiled so he wouldn't see how he was shaking apart, “You tell me everyday,”

“It’s true every day,” Dad smiled and laughed as if that was an easy thing to do through the pain. For him it probably was.

Junior smiled again sitting down so he wouldn’t have to say anything. He inspected the bandages already half soaked in blood, but that was probably because he had been holding them there ever since he left the battle nexus. Junior pulled the bandages back to look at the slice on the underside of the arm.

He pulled the first aid kit out from under the couch prepping what he needed. The movements were practiced. Not as much as they could have been. Dad liked to patch himself up most of the time. It was only injuries to his arm like this that he couldn’t reach. Not with Uncle Raph’s prosthetic hanging on the wall.

“How did this one happen?” Junior hummed as he sterilized the needle. It was a distraction he didn’t need his Dad noticing how his hands shook. Thinking Junior couldn't handle a patch job. Thinking he couldn’t be trusted.

“Eh lucking shot,” Dad shrugged Juniors hands snapped up to hold him still giving him a warning look, “Guy got around my block,”

“It’s that crow Yokai right? The one without the wings?” Junior took a breath trying to focus on the broth bubbling in the other room and the wound that needed cleaning right in front of him, determined not to mess either up, “He uses his talons so you expected the blow to be low. You forgot his knees bend a different way to yours, so higher more accurate kicks are easier,”

“I thought you didn’t watch my fights anymore?” Dad teased, it hit Junior heavily. He started on the stitches focusing on that, only that.

“Tv’s exist Dad, I can go next door, plus everyone around the city talks about you so I know what happens anyway,” Junior rushed to make excuses, to soothe the disappointment, “Besides I thought you didn’t want me around there?”

“I don’t,” Dad said with convicted authority, the tone and power behind it making Junior falter, “I don’t want you anywhere near Big Mama,”

“... Well you don’t have to worry about that,” Junior assured cheerfully, skin crawling. He dug back into the stitches, “Or this just about done, I’m not hurting you am I?”

“Course not, you’re doing great,” Dad reassured, Junior was pretty sure he could do the sloppiest, shoddiest stitches in the world and he wouldn’t even flinch. 

He was strong like that. Leo Jr had seen him walk off injuries that would have put a lesser man in the ground. Blow past recovery times with a swinging sword. He was like a myth across the hidden city, the turtle they said who could withstand anything. Junior knew the man behind the myth, knew they were right.

“All done,” Junior snatched up the supplies before his Dad had a chance to, “I’ll clean up and bring dinner. Do. Not. stand up,”

“Whatever you say doc,” Dad raised his arm in surrender, immediately pulling on the stitches which would make anyone else flinch. Junior glared him down until he lowered his arm, “Thank you kiddo, you’re a lifesaver,”

“Please I think we both know it’ll take more than that to kill you,” Junior rolled his eyes taking the excuse to look away, his expression fell the second it was out of sight, “Don’t move I’ll be right back,”

Junior stepped into the kitchen with arms full of medical supplies. The pot was boiling over. His breath started to quicken, getting clogged on the steam. He had to leave. He had to do better. He had to leave. He was being stupid he had to do literally one thing. Just take the pot off the stove. Just move it away from the heat and it would be fine, have a chance to cool down. The soup would be saved.

Instead he ran into the bathroom.

The supplies got dumped into the sink. Junior holding onto the rim with a white knuckled grip. His breath was too fast. His eyes were too wide and panicked in the mirror. Sparks of blue electricity were coming off of him, running up and down his arms. Like he was destabilizing.

Junior looked down at the sink where his hands were trembling and bloody bandages were waiting to be tended. Needles needed to be sterilized. Dad needed his help so little why did it have to happen on a day where everything was crashing down around him. For no good reason.

“You are his pride and joy,” Junior’s attention snapped to the mirror, seething words spat at the mirror. “So act like it,”

He grit his teeth ignoring how his breathing was still harsh and the world was out of focus. He forced himself through the movements. Cleaning up the supplies. He just had to keep his act together for a little longer. Dad wouldn't be going back to the battle nexus tonight, just a little longer.

He cleaned up the bathroom. Taking a moment when he was done to stare at the door. Gather all the pieces of himself and force them into a perfect puzzle picture. He pushed the door open with a deep breath that got startled out of him when he saw his Dad on the other side. His expression dropped moving automatically to try and settle on the right mask.

“Sorry I moved,” Dad shrugged stirring the broth with a spoon, picking up and inspecting too soggy vegetables, “Pot was boiling over,”

“Thanks for catching that,” Junior said through his clogged throat, voice coming out too raspy, too obvious, too wrong.

“You ok?” Dad asked, looking over his shoulder.

“Yeah fine,” You failed, now he’s worried, not good enough, “Dinner time?”

Junior passed by dinner in a daze. Tired, tired, tired, he told Dad. Which at least meant he rushed them both off to bed quickly. Dad settled on the couch where he had slept for as long as Junior could remember, while he lay on the futon on the floor which he didn’t dare complain was uncomfortable.

He waited until his Dad’s breaths evened out in sleep. Dad always fell asleep fast but light, the opposite to Junior. He pulled the blankets up over his head blocking out the light as he disappeared from his bed with a flash.

Junior opened his eyes to a wind on his face and the rapidly approaching lights of the city below. He took a deep breath sighing in relief at his first real taste of oxygen all day. Junior flipped over his back to the ground as he kept falling. Looking up at New York the veneer of mystic energy makes a window to the world above.

Blue lightning flashed and crackled around him. With a zip he disappeared before hitting the roofs of the skyline. Junior reappeared right below the veneer. Hand reaching out just barely brushing it before gravity retook him. This time as he fell down he went head first creating a portal below himself. He went through and came out the other end with an orange mask and outfit. Junior twisted around landing on his feet in the battle nexus training area.

“Oh shit!” one of the contestants faltered, sending him off balance. The giant hammer he was aiming at the training dummy Junior got between probably didn’t help.

“Hiiii~” He waved, wiggling his fingers. With a massive grin not like they could see it under his canine like mask.

“Fucking fox,” The yokai huffed pulling himself up bracing against his hammer, “I should skin you,”

“Hm, try it,” Junior grinned, easily stepping under the clumsy grab. The yokai’s fingers barely brushed against the tassels of his mask that stood up like ears. “Too slow, toodles,”

He giggled as he stepped out of range of another grab. Not bothering to properly dodge merely walking away. The yokai gave a frustrated huff but they had played this song and dance enough to know Junior would never get caught. Plus the guards were eyeing them. No fighting outside of matches, they didn’t earn money if contestants got injured off stage.

The long tassels of his belt dragged behind Junior as he walked. All his clothes were loose and baggy, perfect and comforting. A sort of mixed patterning that bordered on an eye sore which was just annoying enough to be eye catching.

Junior walked through the training area with a skip in his step. Eyes hidden behind his mask roaming over the fighters eyeing him with disdain as he walked freely. They were all forced to live down here. The lucky ones, the ones that were loyal to big mama sometimes had the privilege of walking out. But Dad and Junior were the only ones who could freely walk in and out. It’s not like anyone could stop them, not with their portaling ability.

The champion most of the Yokai down here could accept. Or were smart enough not to argue with a man that could fold them in half on his less nice days. Junior on the other hand was an upstart. Dropping in tearing through the ranks then dropping out again only sometimes getting his ass handed to him.

In his defense it wasn’t like he was using his portaling ability in fights, or any of the fighting styles his Dad had taught him. That would be a dead give away. So sue him for fighting with one hand tied behind his back. It’s not like he really wanted to break through the top ranks. He was sure Big Mama was dying for a chance to pit him against his Dad. So usually Leo jr ignored them but tonight was a special case.

He looked around the training and living area, a few worn mats and crates passing for a lounge area in these parts. In all fairness his house barely had more furniture. Crowded around a bandaged wingless crow were several low and mid tier fighters alike hanging on to his every word.

“Blue Demon wasn’t shit, getting a hit on him was easy,” Said the Yokai with a busted leg, that if Junior was taking an educated guess Dad grabbed hold of when the crow hesitated a second after landing the hit, surprised that he had managed it, “All that never draws blood stuff is a bunch of over inflated crap, send me in the ring with him again I’ll prove it over and over,”

“How pathetic~” Junior cooed, jumping up to land on the shoulders of a Rhino yokai. Who was not happy about that. He tried to smack Junior but the turtle moved at the last second so he only hammered himself, “The most any of you can brag about is giving the champion a nick?”

“As if you could take him mutt,” The crow hissed as Junior landed lightly in front of him.

Junior frowned remembering this morning, their training spar. He could read the way Dad was holding back his punches. How he had opportunities he didn’t take to let Junior land a hit. He didn’t even try; he might as well have screamed Junior wasn’t good enough, that he would never reach that level.

“Whether I can or can’t isn’t the point,” Junior leaned forward. His mask painted in a permanent grin would color his tone to sound cheerful no matter what he did, he didn’t have to put any effort into it here. This act was easy to keep up, “You were meant to be good enough to stand up to him, and instead you sit here bragging about a practical paper cut while you were a slightly tighter grip away from losing your leg next,”

“You arrogant little shit!” Crow man stood buckling under his injury. Junior laughed high and mocking, squatting down to get on his level.

“You want to know something,” Junior tilted his head to the side as he got death glares from every side. It was good, it was relieving. It got all the scorn out of his head and gave it faces. Opponents he could beat, or get beat by. Thoughts didn’t do that which is what made them worse, “He didn’t take your fight seriously, he didn’t even try, he will never fight you for real because you are not his equal,”

Junior stood up looking dispassionately down at the Yokai. Their eyes were wide and hurt. What must that shock feel like, to not have already accepted it as a truth of the universe?

“You will never be good enough for him,”

“You bastard,” 

He looked up at Junior with hatred, not anger or annoyance the usual reactions he got. Undeniable seething hatred. The one Junior was after. Probably would have been better for him if he hadn’t pulled it out of a first tier fighter but oh well. He barely had time to process the sudden slash going for his throat. Energy started to build up under his skin. Junior had no idea if he would have enough time to portal away. Oh boy would Dad be disappointed in him for this one.

“Oh boys~” Everyone in the arena froze. Talons centimeters away from Juniors neck, blue lightning crackling around him. He and the crow didn’t move from their stand still. Frozen as they looked with their eyes towards the platform overseeing the room, “Foxy-poo I need to talk to youuu~”

“Ohhhh someone's in trouble,” Junior used the built up energy to teleport to the banister. Freely using it while he knew Dad wasn’t here.

“I don’t believe you’re scheduled in for a match today,” Big Mama looks at him over the rim of her glasses, “Or anyday for that matter,”

“I’m more like a loveable stray who shows up when they please,” Junior waved cheekily at the seething competitors down below. Most watched waiting for her to rip him a new one. Didn’t the idiots know psychological warfare was more her style.

“The loveable may be debated dear,” Big Mama looked over the railing at their not so adoring audience. The tension thick, growing thicker when it became clear Junior wasn’t in immediate trouble. Realizing the effect of having an apparently pleasant conversation with the guy everyone hated would be bad for her she stepped away from the railing, “Why is it that you insist on coming here to antagonize my fighters?”

“Entertainment value?” Junior followed her down the hallway jogging at her side.

“Entertainment is for paying customers turtlely-poo,” She bopped him on the ‘nose’ of his fox-like mask.

Junior frowned, keeping the mask on. Dad had taught him from a young age that having a conversation with big mama was a minefield. Junior had watched the way she approached people and picked them apart from their body language to tone to their face. If he could eliminate one of those variables he would.

“You should be thanking me, they were dissing your oh so treasured champion,” He couldn’t keep the annoyance out of his voice no matter how hard he tried. It was fine it’s not like she really had anything to hold over him, “They thought he was weak,”

“I like it when they think that, it makes them more willing to get in the ring,” Big  Mama waved off flippantly as the hallway transitioned from dirty stone to nicer marble and tile, “Something I might add they are always very keen to do when it comes to you, so I would suggest you stop flaunting your disregard for the rules before you do get your throat cut,”

“I’ll have you know I’ve broken no rules. I never throw the first punch, I rarely attack back,” They came to a door, the bell hop bodyguards opening it for them. Junior followed Big Mama in without hesitation.

“If you are not going to obey me perhaps we should get your father involved, I’m sure he could make you see reason,”

“Please you wouldn’t, you’d lose this,” Junior flopped down onto an expensive couch gesturing to himself. He should get one of these for Dad. They were infinitely comfier than their one at home, he could easily make a portal under it yoinking it out of this very expensive room. Or maybe he should just get his poor pops a bed, “And Dad would probably be so mad you let me fight he’d quit and you’d lose your champion,”

“Champions come and go love,” Big Mama walked towards him, Junior regretted sitting down now it meant he was looking up at her. He had basically handed her the intimidation factor on a silver plate, “Yes some are missed more than others but ultimately the battle nexus goes on, a new champion comes,”

She circled behind the couch Junior tried to keep her in sight. Without getting up and admitting his mistake. Even in human form she suddenly felt more spider than person.

“Even if this arena were to completely collapse I could rebuild,” She was behind him now Junior could feel her oppressive force, like there was a predator at his back, “In Fact if I abandoned it all together I still have my hotel and other… illicit businesses my finances would hardly be affected,”

She paused, letting it sink in. Logically Junior knew she loved the battle nexus that the bloodshed gave her a rush and Dad was her best champion off the back of Lou Jitsu. But she had already recovered from the loss of one beloved champion with another. Although part of Junior wanted to protest she would never find anyone as strong as his Dad he knew in the end she was willing to do anything to drag down the rest of her fighters if it meant her champion shined.

“But you dear? Well the trust and love of a father is not easy to regain,” She idly played with the tassels of his mask, Junior shivered. “So are we going to behave?”

“... yes big mama,”

“Very good!” She clapped her hands right behind him, making Junior jump. He pushed off from the couch figuring screw it he wanted to be out of arm's reach. Preferably out of the room, out of the building, “Now scurry along dear, can’t have you causing trouble for your dear old dad or anyone else tonight can we?”

“Suppose not,” Junior mumbled, this all seemed so disproportionate. 

Risking losing a champion, any champion, because he ruffled a few feathers? No, she didn’t care about unrest between her fighters. This was about power. Proving she had a hold on Junior not the other way around. That he did have something to lose.

Junior disappeared from the room with a flash making sure he had dropped his fighter gear before reappearing at home. Junior crawled out from under his blankets. Dad was still sleeping but that changed as Junior got closer to the bed. His eyes snapped open looking at Junior before sweeping over the room and checking him again. Junior stayed still well used to the routine. He didn’t move until Dad relaxed, sinking back into the lumpy couch.

“Everything alright?” He asked, holding out his arm, stitches catching the light.

“Mm,” Junior hummed, falling into his Dad’s embrace climbing onto the couch too small for them both.

Dad took it in stride, well used to needing to balance them both on the couch. Junior tried to avoid his stitches while relaxing. It was a bit awkward with two hard shells but Dad had always been good at managing that. Somehow finding the most comfortable position.

“Do you want to talk about what was bothering you all day?” Dad whispered, rubbing his hand against Junior’s shell.

He noticed, you did a terrible job at hiding it, you made him worry, you failure.

“No,” Junior tucked his face into his Dad’s chest voice broken.

“Alright,” Dad said quietly, still rubbing his shell in such a soothing gesture it had Junior relaxing like always, “I’m here if you want to talk, always here,”

“I know Dad,” But he could never say anything. Never let his Dad be sad and hurt by his insecurities, by his doubts that he will ever live up to his fathers expectations. He could keep that all inside because letting out that hurt meant hurting the one person who had always been there for him, “I love you,”

[judasrpc]

PALIA SENTENCE STARTERS

based on the mmorpg 'palia' developed by singularity 6. add context & change gendered language to your needs !! if multi, please specify which muse(s) !!

Welcome to the general store, pal.

[…] so I guess I should say: welcome to the livin'!

Come back when you get some cash, we'll take care of your needs.

The more you spend, the more you get back. Trust me. That's just how the world works.

What can I do for you?

Make the most out of each day, my friend.

Here I was thinking you'd be too busy setting up to say 'hello'. How goes it?

Are you new in town, or just passing through?

There's something about you that just brightens up my day.

I have a good feeling about today.

I don't know about you, but I'm starting to get sleepy.

So, I think it's safe to say my job is about to get A LOT more interesting.

Are you off on an adventure?

Today is a great day for adventure! Well… any day is a great day for adventure. But today is especially good.

What ails you, my four-legged friend?

You've got a surprise for me?

I wish I knew what you were saying…

Well, if it isn't another friend I haven't met yet!

Hey there! The day treating you alright?

I don't know it [name] was laughing with me or at me, but either way, I appreciate the chuckle.

Tonight, I'm feeling exuberant, with a bit of nostalgic ennui mixed in.

I don't need your company… but it would certainly be appreciated.

Relaxed… I envy you. I don't think I've ever felt relaxation.

It pleases me to see your thirst for knowledge is so difficult to quench.

Back again, are we?

Your mischief and wit know no bounds, neither does your desire for knowledge.

Even the most cunning hunter needs a helping hand once in a while. You hear me? If you ever need help, all you have to do is ask.

You showed up just in time.

I like you and all, kid, but there ain't nobody who can stop me from bein' me.

So, how are you feeling? I am sure this is quite a lot to take in.

Keep that positivity, and you'll overcome any troubles the world offers you.

I was just settling in for my evening meditation. Care to join me?

Name's [name], but you can call me trouble.

I see that look on your face. Up to no good, aren't ya?

Let me guess: You were just dying to see me.

Just so y'know, our doors are always open for ya.

So nice to talk to someone who wants to listen… between you and me, with the kids, it's always in one ear and out the other.

There's nothin' like the feelin' of a job well done.

Some people think it’s boring all the way out here… But I like it.

It is way too early… or did I stay up too late?

You might want to stand back. I’m working on my latest invention, and I’m not entirely sure this thing is stable.

You look as though you have something you’d like to ask.

I chose to keep them around for mostly sentimental reasons.

These daily chats of ours bring me much peace. Please continue to come by, I would miss it if they stopped.

I’m also good at lifting heavy stuff, if you need anything heavy lifted!

You lost? That's okay, I get lost sometimes too.

Oh… sorry I didn’t see you there. I was just a bit distracted. Seems to happen to me a lot…

I am just an intrepid explorer of the supernatural, a detective of the unseen divine, a pioneer of pervasive thought…

I am glad you are still able to experience joy after everything you’ve gone through.

Hello, hello! You have caught me at just the right time.

All it’s taught me so far is how to die of boredom. So stop by again later and keep me entertained, ok?

Are you just going to stand there staring at me, or did you have something to say?

Sometimes I forget how interesting the world is. Like, I’m pretty sure I saw a gnarly looking beetle over there!

Aren’t we feeling bold today?

Oh, good. Someone to talk to who DOESN’T give me a splitting headache.

This had better be important…

I was so caught off guard, I realized I forgot to introduce myself or explain why I'm here.

Why don't you come back when my head's spinning just a little less?

It's good to see you again! I always look forward to seeing your face. But you know, like a normal amount.

It is… good to see you. Why was that so hard to say?

Perhaps you should learn to become more comfortable with solitude yourself.

Oh no, I know that look.

I'm presently ruminating on the darkness of the soul.

I do fear where my thoughts might go if I linger here alone too long…

Unfortunately, I returned with many new ideas and no new direction.

Beyond that, you shall have to answer the question of "what you are" for yourself. As do we all.

You were bound to return one day… why not today?

For now, I enjoy basking in the presence of others.

Hmm… What should I make for dinner tonight…?

You’re talkin’ to me?

Been makin’ a name for yourself lately. Every time I go into town, someone’s singin’ your praises.

[electricrogue]

I posted 505 times in 2022

31 posts created (6%)

474 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@unleashed111

@teslacriss

@tinknevertalks

@maverey

@droidmom

I tagged 208 of my posts in 2022

#music baby - 41 posts

#within temptation - 12 posts

#sharon den adel - 8 posts

#i mean - 7 posts

#heh - 7 posts

#everything comes back to teslen - 6 posts

#yes - 5 posts

#well - 4 posts

#the amazing devil - 4 posts

#but still - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#at this rate the border police will pick me up from the airport before i even get the chance to set foot in canada or netherlands

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Sharon den Adel isn’t fucking human

... no, really. For context, I was at a music festival in my country - Way Too Far Rock Festival, and believe me that name is earned xD. And Within Temptation were headliners there and I got to see them live (again, it was my third time actually but definitely not the last one) and aaaaah.

First of all, that woman is like fucking quicksilver. Like it was my first time I had a decent enough phone to try and make pictures and I was trying to get a shot of her with the boys but like... one second she was here, then she was on the opposite side of the stage, running like hell from one place to another and I was just trying (and mostly failing) to keep up with her.

Also because of Covid bullshit this was the first time I got to hear the newer songs live (newer meaning Resist and the singles that came after that). And just... It was late and my feet were hurting a bit and I was tired but the second I heard the trumpets in Reckoning and she came on stage I forgot about all of that. It’s such a surge of... life, there’s no other word for it, that you get when she starts singing that it’s fucking unbelievable.

Also fun stuff they played also their most recent single, Don’t Pray For Me, and I feel like I have to punch some people for that. Why, you ask? Because Sharon was like “ok so we wrote this one and then we wrote like a whole ass story about the reason we wrote it and actually it’s about this and that”. And here comes the want to punch people, because she had to do that because people complained. And ok I get religion is a touchy subject, but she didn’t sing about religion, not really. She sang about how when you stuff religion down someone’s throat it becomes an issue, and she’s fucking right about it. And you know what even if she sang against religion, I never heard anyone complain about Weak Fantasy or Cry For The Moon for that matter so yeah. Hypothetically if she wanted she could also be against religion a bit. You know, as a treat.

Also they did Raise Your Banner and they sang it for Ukraine (I will post that separately because it deserves its own post) and God... chills.

Also also there was a real cute moment at the end where Sharon noticed there were kids in the audience and she was like “you know what bring some kids on stage, like the two girls over there and the two boys over here“ and in 30 seconds she had like 20 of them on the stage? Like I hated audiences when I was a kid (I’m not too good about them now either) but to have that done to me when I was a kid? I’m pretty sure I would have become an instant fan. And that is based only on how cute and caring Sharon was with them like some of them were a bit out of their element(totally understandable) but she took care of them and told them were to stay and calmed them down and 20 seconds later they were singing like crazy with her and yeah. Nobody is immune to Sharon that’s all I’m saying.

... and on a final note I wanna kiss whoever designed Sharon’s outfit because damn that was gorgeous. And yes I know Sharon is probably the one who came up with the idea I said what I said. Like the crown and the metal thingie on the arm (I wish she kept those more but it’s probably hard to navigate with them).

6 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

#4

See the full post

7 notes - Posted August 29, 2022

#3

Everyone is like "oh it's not the same without Henry" this "Liam and Joey will not have the same chemistry" that... Honestly get Madeleine Hyland to play Geralt instead and all your problems would be solved

9 notes - Posted October 30, 2022

#2

So fair warning chances are this post will piss you off if you're a Nightwish fan. Especially the kind that thinks Tuomas is Mozart or Beethoven reincarnated or something. Also long ass post ahead.

That being said... I went to a concert of theirs yesterday. Am I a Nightwish fan? I wouldn't go that far. Like yes I know their songs well enough to sing along to them and they have nice lyrics I will give them that... But the problem is I don't like Tuomas as a person. I liked Marco even less but he's gone now so yeah that problem was solved. So why did I go to the concert, then? Because basically I was curious to see what the fuss is about. That and I do like Floor no not like that and I figured just because she's singing for a douche doesn't mean I have to skip going to see her live.

Now about the show... Good stuff first. They have nice special effects like fire and smoke and all, probably the nicest I've seen out of all the concerts in this genre that I've been to. This is also because they had the biggest stage, like I know given the space Within Temptation and Epica have nice effects too, but alas people in my country are idiots and Nightwish is the only symphonic metal band most of them know about. Which has the nasty consequence that everyone else is demoted to shittier stages.

Also, Floor is a damn good singer I will give her that. The best they had in some ways, and I say this as someone who is a Tarja fan (yes, this is why I don't like Tuomas, I know it wasn't only his fault she left but the way I see it it was a dumbass cockfight between two idiots - not a fan of Tarja's husband either). But I digress. The nice thing about Floor is that she has a mother fucking impressive range. Like Tarja could hit those high notes and Anette could be creepy and haunting... But Floor can do both. She can go from belting the high notes of Shoemaker to the grunts in Tribal in a heartbeat and I love that for her. If Nightwish would be her band there's a very good chance they'd be my second favorite band in the genre. Second one because nothing will ever top Within Temptation for me but still.

... but the thing is, it's not her band. It's Tuomas' band and that... Is painfully obvious. Like don't get me wrong I know he writes the music and the lyrics and that he's a damn good composer. Not the best and not the Mozart of our times thank you very much. But the thing is, there is a reason why these are called female fronted metal bands. They'd be fucked without the girls. And yes Floor is center stage but Tuomas is also center stage towering over her and the camera focuses on him mostly and everyone is like "oh our good friend Tuomas wrote this when he was drunk on a submarine" or something and yeah. Also what pisses the hell out of me, they never introduced the band. Like every band I know has this moment near the end where the main singer goes through the members of the band and introduces them to the audience. And that seems common sense to me because it's a fucking teamwork and everyone plays their part so they should be at least acknowledged. But that didn't happen. Without any previous knowledge of the band you'd go back home knowing there's a dude Tuomas who wrote Nemo and that's it. And while we're at it do NOT get me started on that song and the very creepy undertones of "I don't mean anything unless you love me" because yeah... Really not liking the implications of that.

Also, and this is not on Floor, she's doing her best... But the change of lead singers hurt them. Like you have songs like Nemo and Sleeping Sun which are Tarja's. Then you have Imaginaerum which is Anette's and nothing Floor does will ever change that. I'm not saying she's bad at singing them because she's not, it's just that you are used to the studio versions and live it sounds differently and you have a moment of wtf happened. Fucking Holopainen happened that's what

You know what the short version of all this is? One that will make sense to probably only four people that follow me but yeah. Nightwish are basically the X-Men of symphonic metal. Like sure they're the most famous in their genre and they are flashy and impressive and all... But they would be better if they let the girl(s) loose more. If you ask me symphonic metal is a kind of thing that needs a woman's touch. And by touch I mean the woman should be in charge. Come to think at it two of the most successful bands in the genre are lead by girls and it worked for them. Delain is basically led by the less smarter Westerholt and look where that got them

11 notes - Posted August 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Buckle up pals I'm gonna tell you a story. Which is incidentally also sort of a literary analysis of a song so yeah if you're not into that leave while you still can XD. Well, more like a specific part of Drinking Song For The Socially Anxious. This one to be more precise:

And in a moment of total rapture

And with every strength I have

I ask if you play D&D

And your face lights up like you’ve woken up

From this endless fucking nightmare of pretending this is you,

This is us, this is me, this how we’re meant to be

But your smile tells me I’m safe

And that voice unspoken’s heard

Cos if god made us all in his image

Then god’s a fucking nerd

So basically the story is about what my source blood sister calls the fangirl gene. Like there's people who get remotely excited about stuff and there's people who fall really deep for their calling. (Yes I went there). Whatever said calling is, it can be a tv show or a celebrity or even fucking stamps for all I care. It's not the what that matters. What matters is that society is expecting you to be a functional adult and if you go beyond a level of obsession it looks at you in a weird way. So you tone it down and you don't advertise it too much and you try to sound casual about it because normal people are not interested in you going in hour long rants over stuff, you know?

But you know what? It's exhausting to pretend to be normal when you're not. And you can't really be friends with people who you have to pretend with because you have this constant fear you'll slip and then they'll judge and you'll have to kill cut ties with them. I didn't do it in the past and God I regret that but I won't make the same mistake again. Like ok maybe you're not into something, I get that, but when someone you like loves that thing, the most you're allowed to say in my book is something along the lines of "eh not my cup of tea but you do you". That's it. Not "ugh why do you like that shit it's for kids" or whatever.

But I digress and this wasn't supposed to be about the bad ones it was supposed to be about the good ones XD. You know gaydars? I suck at that but I like to think I'm pretty good at having a fandar. As in, to know when someone has a thing for something. Again, what isn't that important(of course it's a thousand times better when they're into the same stuff as you are, but it's not mandatory). It's just the way they talk about stuff or they get pissed about stuff because let's be real fangirling can also involve getting pissed off. They care, to sum it up. And honestly? It's so damn refreshing to meet someone like that. Because you see yourself in them, in the way they get excited about stuff and then they go like 'eh whatever' before you think they're mad, in the way they start ranting and there's that little spark in their eyes and gah. It's these things that make you feel safe with them and you just know they're keepers. At least as friends but it can go either way.

70 notes - Posted January 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[rodismancave]

1 and 3 or 29

1. Canon I outright reject

Uhh. I’m not sure. There’s certain things I’d like to reject but don’t really, such as Rodimus not killing Getaway. Because I really do think he would, lol. But outright reject it? Maybe his title as prime? Him “striving” or “wanting” to be leader? I never fully thought about this as canon, mostly interpretation. I really do believe he wanted to stick with being a Loner but often felt obliged to take a leading role anyway. Idk, lol.

3. Obscure headcanon

My big headcanon for him is that the Matrix fucked him up pretty bad. He’s got a weak spark and gets tired much more quickly, as well as having chronic pain. All things he has to adjust to after his matrix reframe and most conditions he hides from everyone (yes, Drift counts) except Ratchet + First Aid because he sort of can’t. Hide that from them. Also, because of that, flaming out tends to hurt.

My biggest help in spreading this propaganda is how he looks taller after the reframe but he also lost a LOT of his bulk. And this panel also really helps my cause:

He’s dull, obviously in pain, and he’s the only one that had such a horrible reaction to the boost wearing off. And we’re never given context. Lmao. Would also give an extra edge as to why he doesn’t like Thunderclash (similar injuries, caused by the same man, yet one is praised a hero while the other tries to live on like normal)

Anyway this is my propaganda .

29. Eating habits

Because he 1. Runs really hot, 2. Has to burn off every once in a while, and 3. Has to gather more energy to make up for the fuel lost when his spark decides to go haywire, he’s constantly hungry.

He always has a little something saved for him in the fridge, or his habsuite (he has so much junk food hidden in areas all over) or his subspace. However, because they were at war for 4 million years and he didn’t exactly have money before that, actual meals are few and far between. He often will spend days without eating a proper meal because he simply forgot to, but you can always find him munching on something from time to time. He likes sweet things specially, and cooking is one of the few things he learned to do because it brings him comfort and reminds him of food safety. And also because If he’s the one cooking, he’ll remember he hasn’t eaten yet and will prepare food for days.

[drxwsyni]

Petrified (pt. 9)

Yandere Erasermic x f!Reader

SERIES MASTERLIST

a/n: This part is really short, and honestly not that good. But seeing as this whole series is a mess, not much is new lmao. Thank you to @sawamooora for beta reading ilyyyyy <3 <3 <3

*Sidenote*: Please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed from the taglist!

3.4k words

Warnings: Descriptions of past dubcon, gaslighting.

Waking up, you wished the metaphorical blanket of comfort wasn’t ripped off of you the moment you opened your eyes.

It was an uncomfortable contrast.

While one blanket was ripped off, a real, physically tangible blanket weighed down on not just you, but the two sleeping men who had you sandwiched in between them. Seeing Hizashi on your right, and Shouta on your left was all you needed to be plunged into a dreadful confusion.

Your body hurt. An ache creeped through your spine as you sat up, only to realize you were completely bare. If the pain spreading across your skin wasn’t enough of a clue as to what had ensued less than twelve hours ago, then the evidence marring your body would be.

An intense throbbing radiated from your backside, prompting you to lean over on your elbow. Pulling down the covers, your eyes landed upon the black and blue patterns littering your skin, trailing down to the tops of your thighs. It seemed that both your wrists and hips were adorned with similar bruises, the only difference were those being distinctly fingerprint shaped. No one position completely alleviated the ache.

A sting emanated from your neck and shoulders as you lightly traced over the series of wounds, feeling remnants of bite marks and long scratches. In examining the bedsheets, you were convinced that the patterning of the fabric wasn’t tricking your mind. Little blotches of blood were just barely visible where you once laid.

An indiscernible cloud still hung over your mind, even if it was only slightly there by now. A fog that was muddling your memories, blocking whatever had gone down between you and the men at your sides. Nothing you could recall really felt concrete, at least for now��the possibility of memories returning over time being not all that unlikely. In the present however, the only indicators to tell you what happened were the marks they left behind.

And based on those―you were certain that it was never something you would’ve agreed to.

The morning sunlight was beginning to stream into the room, breaking through the small divides of the curtains. One glance at the alarm clock placed on Shouta’s nightstand told you that it was just over half past five.

On a Sunday morning, neither of them had anything to do. Naturally, the two were still sound asleep. You envied how peaceful they seemed, bathed in morning light, free from worry―a contrast to the nauseating unease you felt.

Becoming more and more horrified by the second, drowning in your thoughts and grasping at what they had done to you, the only one thing that stood out was your need to get the fuck out of there.

As carefully as possible, for fear that one move too harsh would wake one, if not both of the so called heroes, you peeled back the blankets from your battered form. Proceeding to crawl down to the foot of the bed, you gave a glance over your shoulder―just to confirm that the two were still sedated in slumber.

You let out a shaky breath upon confirming that they were, returning to swiftly taking your leave. But in the split second, when a whimper of pain left your lips, body doubling over at the burning enveloping your core as you settled your weight to stand—you were immediately sure their perception as trained heroes would alert them to the noise.

Though still, the steady rise and fall of Shouta’s chest, and the now relaxing sound of Hizashi's light snoring, put your nerves at ease―even if only a little.

Your clothes from last night weren’t in the bedroom, but neither were theirs. In finding a steady trail of frantically discarded articles leading to the living room, you could finally abandon the suffocating atmosphere that was their home. Freedom was the only thing on your mind as you hastily dressed yourself and grabbed your bag from the foyer.

_____

Hizashi Missed Call (7) 10:48 AM

Hizashi Text Message (16) 10:32 AM

Shouta Missed Call (3) 9:54 AM

Shouta Text Message (5) 8:12 AM

It would seem the shake in your hands would be uncontrollable until the foreseeable future, sighing as your phone lit up once again. Perhaps it wasn’t the wisest idea to disappear with no warning, knowing how the two could be when they weren’t in the know of your every move.

Yet, if they knew just how downright terrified you were to stay until they woke up, maybe they’d understand your unceremonious leave of absence.

Unfortunately, they didn’t. Neither of the heroes seem to be all that knowledgeable of how they affected you, what they did to make you fear them.

For so long you tried to bury that anxiety you felt with them. They crossed the line of innocent concern a long time ago with their intrusiveness. And now, with the marks they left behind, spanning across your body and leaving a searing pain as an unignorable reminder of just who they were under their doting facade―you couldn’t simply disregard what this relationship had turned into.

It was toxic.

The safety they should provide feeling ripped away in their presence.

It was suffocating.

Even when you were alone, there always seemed to be an inescapable weight upon your shoulders, mind guessing as to when you’d see them next.

It took you until now to realize it, until they’d done something you couldn't quite ‘forgive and forget’―but you finally knew their tactics, what they’d been doing all along. They were predatory in every sense of the word, targeting your weaknesses to seek a self satisfying goal.

With each missed call and unread text message, you cursed yourself for not fighting your way out of their grasp before it became nearly inescapable. That, and there was a painful tinge of shame riddling your body with how you’d let them handle you.

Most of last night was all but impossible to recall, but the existing memories told a clear story. They made you feel good, really good. Even in whatever stupor they’d placed you under, it’d be impossible to forget the intense and repeated sensations the two men made you reach.

The thought alone had you nauseous, knowing the circumstances of how you ended up like that.

In any case, the idea at the forefront of your mind was that there’s no time like the present. Especially since you were quite literally adding fuel to the fire by ignoring them. You couldn't change what they’d done to you, but you could change what happened going forward.

It was simple―you never wanted to see the two faux heroes ever again.

Hizashi had been trying to contact you for the better half of the hour. But what really bothered you was how Shouta stopped doing so a while ago―better to know what he was up to than the radio silence that only made the pit in your stomach worse.

Though it wasn’t all that bad―it would be easier to stomach the voice of Hizashi, especially over the phone, given what you were about to tell him.

A new call came through. On the final ring, you answered.

“...―Shou’, I’m not gonna stop till she―”

With the sudden absence of noise, it wouldn’t be hard to believe that the call had ended. Though, silence between the three of you was never short. Never before, and still not now.

“...(Y/n)?”

Your jaw clenched in worry, hearing Hizashi use your first name instead of a not so endearing pet name. Laced with the exhausted sounding disbelief, you could tell even over the phone that he wasn’t doing so good.

Part of you almost forgot to respond, his voice alone bringing you back to last night. When you did, you winced at the unintentional shake which you couldn’t control.

“Y-Yeah, I’m here.”

“Oh, thank god. What―Where did you run off to? Gave us a damn heart attack when you weren’t in the house.”

For someone so physically fit, Hizashi sounded like he just ran a marathon. Although, you suppose given the scare you put him through, the out of breath reaction was understandable.

And relatable, as your heart rate was beginning to pick up, anticipating how they’d soon handle your message.

“I, uh...I went home before you guys woke up…”

You could practically see the perplexed expression on his face, the sound of confusion coating his words.

A small laugh of disbelief came through the speaker. “Well there was no need for that, sweetheart.”

As if your body was trying to expel the extra energy from the adrenaline you were using to have a steady conversation with him, you began mindlessly wandering around your apartment.

“I just didn’t...feel comfortable? N-Not after what happened, I mean―last night shouldn't have happened, at all. So I left.”

The two heroes were back in the living room of their home, where they found your stuff missing in the morning. Shouta’s eyes narrowed at your words, hearing them clearly over the speakerphone. He shared a glance with his partner, the latter seated on the couch and nervously bouncing his leg.

“I’m not so sure I’m following. I don’t wanna embarrass you or anything, knowin’ how shy ya get, but...you were screamin’ our names last night. Don’t see how ya could’ve had a bad time, songbird.”

That detail in particular was one of the many occurrences from then that escaped you. With your memory being in shambles, it was pretty much a ‘he said, she said’ when it came to what happened.

...Pretty much.

The things that did stick, well...you almost wish they didn’t.

While all the fleeting events you knew of didn’t leave a good taste in your mouth, certain details made you sick to your stomach.

“I’ll never get sick of seein’ ya like this, songbird.”

The ones you couldn’t explain, and left far too many possibilities of theoretical context. Most of them being a worst case scenario for you.

“…You saying we should speed things up?”

Or, the ones that could be easy to pass off as playful teasing, if it weren’t for the darker undertones that made your wild imagination run rampant.

And when the things they whispered lowly into your ear became a jumbled mess of inebriated nonsense, you could still rely on memories of their touch. How they held you, early in the night when you weren’t completely lost to both natural and unnatural chemical influences. The sensations of frustration, only met with feelings of being restrained. They way it felt almost practiced, as if they were planning to do whatever they did long before it actually happened.

Unconsciously, you wandered into your bedroom, anxiously pacing all the while. The safety of its familiarity was sedating, to an extent.

You shook your head, trying to figure out how you’d get your concerns across to the two men. “That’s...That’s not the problem. Well it is but―the whole thing was just a bad idea.”

A muffled, irritated sigh could be heard. “No, something must be going on with ya. It’s probably better we talk this out in person, yeah? You home right now, sweetheart?”

In typical Hizashi fashion, he failed to respect your boundaries. You let out your own sigh of annoyance, spinning on your heel to face your bedroom’s window.

“There’s nothing―”

...You were most definitely certain that you closed your window before leaving yesterday.

Forgetting that you were in the middle of a very heated conversation, the hand that was holding your phone to your ear fell slightly. With the one that was free, you pulled the frame closed.

…

And it creaked back open.

The latch was busted.

Deft fingers grazed the metal frame, where it would typically snap shut, and stay shut. While it wasn’t untypical for these kinds of things to break, knowing that your apartment complex wasn’t exactly the newest, the fault didn’t sit right with you.

And, when you set your phone down, using one hand to hold the window closed, the other to keep it in place by fastening the lock, you found that too equally damaged.

...Almost like someone tried to leave out the window, in a hurry at that. Which would explain it being left open, and how the aggressiveness of the action would render the whole thing completely useless.

The sound of your name being called through the speaker brought you back to the main issue at hand. Picking up the phone, you could only continue where you left off.

“There’s nothing else to talk about. Whatever relationship the three of us have...I don’t want to be a part of it anymore.”

You managed to shock yourself with that, not actually believing you had it in you to really put your foot down.

Hearing the radio silence that followed, you knew he was more shocked than you were.

It made you wonder if he was more fucked up on one substance or another than you were last night—the sheer level of denial Hizashi was in over the whole thing.

“...Don’t talk like that, gonna give me another heart attack. Two in one mornin’, that’s awfully cruel, dontcha think?”

You were always one to shy away from confrontation, but now was not the time for that. The chance to cut your ties with them in this moment was as best as you would likely ever get.

“I’m not okay with what this has turned into, Hizashi. Not remotely comfortable, and—“

“Where are you, (y/n).”

...

Shouta’s voice.

“...This isn’t something we should discuss over the phone.”

It shamed you that all Shouta had to do was address you in that low, gravely voice of his, and you were instantly regretting every decision you’d made since picking up the phone. He certainly had an effect on you; no matter how many times you dealt with his tone, you could never quite get used to the sternness.

You swallowed dryly, still eyeing the unnaturally broken window.

“I-I’m not telling you where I am. You need to respect my decision on this…”

But if they couldn’t respect the privacy of your own home, why would they care about your newfound insistence?

...

The thought of the two men being culprits to the property damage popped intrusively into your head. Wildly associating it to be an explanation to the fragments of blissed out proclamations, whatever “seein’ ya like this” meant.

Your grip on the cellphone faltered, a shake seizing your hands.

No, they were heroes.

What purpose would they have breaking into your apartment?

Because if Hizashi was referring to somehow having already seen you in such a compromising position as the one him and his partner coerced you into…

You took a step back from the window.

“It’s not something you have to like, b-but neither of you guys cared about what I wanted last night.” With the slight crack in your voice, you winced knowing they could likely tell how hard it was to be firm in your ways with them, only making their job easier. “You...you went too far―that’s why I’m so upset.”

Shouta’s words, as always, effortlessly sent a pang of anxiety through your system.

“You didn’t know what you wanted last night, we made that decision for you. And judging by how you didn’t exactly try to put up a fight...” The small, almost inaudible chuckle only made his claims tear you apart more. “...I’d say you were more than happy with our decision.”

Never failing to find the exact things to say to shut you up, to put you in your place, Shouta remained confident with where things were going since he took control of the conversation.

You fumbled on your words, not quite sure of what would be the best argument to deny his statement.

“T-That’s―”

“That’s the truth, and you know it.”

I can’t even remember half of what happened last night, is what you wanted to say.

You wanted to scream at him, really. The two of them loved assuming they knew everything―what was best for you―despite the clear evidence that they in fact did not.

Naturally, all you could actually do was run from wherever this conversation was headed. It was obvious you would never reach an agreement with them. All they’d want to do was take, take, take. Make demands like they were in charge of you.

You knew that you’d never be able to get through to them.

And honestly, you didn’t have the energy to even try.

The point of answering their call was to finally end things, and that’s all that was left to do.

“...I don’t care what either of you think, whatever happened last night—I didn’t want it. Just...don’t try to contact me again. Goodbye.”

When you finally pressed the ‘end call’ button, you expected to feel that weight of their unrelenting presence lift off of you.

...It didn’t. But you probably shouldn’t be surprised. It’d take time to calm down, all you really needed to worry about now was returning your life to how it was before meeting the two all those months ago.

Another call came through in seconds, startling you where you still stood in your bedroom. Shaking slightly from lingering nervousness, you hastily declined it, not checking to see who it was from. Fingers flying across the screen, you blocked both Shouta’s and Hizashi’s contacts from your phone, proceeding to delete the existing conversations.

A small step towards getting back to normal.

Just one of many.

_____

Trying to conceal the slight limp in your step as you walked to work on Monday was both difficult and mortifying, each sharp pain shooting through your abdomen an unwelcome reminder. A cold shiver ran through you, prompting you to shove your hands in your pockets for warmth.

The changing seasons meant you’d have to work on moving around the shop’s layout. Bringing more delicate plants inside, swapping them out for seasonal ones that could handle the chill in the air. A task that you wondered if you would have to complete yourself.

With the days growing shorter, you noted the dusk already settling over the sky, drawing near the start of your 5pm shift. The orange hues dancing in the clouds were certainly a beautiful sight. Your gaze repeatedly found its way back to the sky as you walked down the sidewalk.

The closer you got to work, the more vibrant it seemed.

Strange indeed.You passed it off as the darkening night merely amplifying the remaining light of the setting sun.

Turning down another street, you could hear the approaching sound of sirens. A firetruck soon whipped past and continued down the road, making you shuffle towards the inside of the sidewalk. The piercing noise left an uncomfortable ringing in your ears.

When such an irritating reaction to the blaring never completely faded, you realized that was because it was just more distant sirens, multiple of them, sounding off in the direction you were heading.

You picked up your pace.

With another glance at the sky, you began to see not just the orange hue intensifying, but also a distinct plume of black smoke.

...

...It’s not...it can’t be…

Soon enough, your leisurely walk picked up speed. The ache in your gut from both physical wounds and growing anxiety making you nauseous.

Barely taking precautions to watch where you were going, you focused only on the direction of your shop, and the beacon of light that seemed to be right on top of it. Mindlessly placing one foot in front of the other, feeling like the end of the road before you turned the corner was only growing further away with each step.

The unpleasant smell of something burnt met your senses—faint, but there nonetheless.

You couldn’t lie to yourself, whatever was up ahead, it wasn’t good. But it couldn’t be what you were thinking.

Not your shop.

No. You’d turn the corner, and it would be fine.

The small boutique would be where it always was, nestled in between two buildings, waiting for you to start your shift.

Things would go back to normal, just like you’d planned.

…

The wailing sirens met your ears in full force. A stifling air, unnaturally hot and acrid washed over you, causing you to instinctively clamp a hand over your nose and mouth.

In gradually coming to the worst realization of the night, your free hand braced the brick wall of the building next to you, knees nearly buckling.

Thirty feet away, lighting up the street to be as bright as day, was your workplace completely engulfed in flames.

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Guiltrip

So, my week has been hell. In addition to working night and day on final essays for my classes, I've been really busy at work lately, and the second COVID vaccine shot really took a lot out of me this week. And that's not even getting into the bureaucratic nonsense that comes with applying for the MTEL which is slowly making me wonder if I actually want to teach in the first place.

But, despite all that, there was a single light of hope this week that almost made it all worth it.

STAR WARS: THE BAD BATCH, BABY!

OH MY GOD, THIS SHOW IS AMAZING! I ALWAYS LOVED THE CLONE-CENTRIC EPISODES OF THE CLONE WARS, AND NOW WE GET AN ENTIRE SHOW ABOUT AN ELITE TEAM OF THEM? KICKASS! AND IT TAKES PLACE AFTER ORDER 66 WITH GRAND MOFF TARKIN AS THE MAIN VILLAIN? SWEET MOTHER OF GEORGE LUCAS, I CAN'T WAIT! I DON'T EVEN CARE THAT THEY TRADED IN THE COOL SNIPER CLONE FOR SOME LITTLE GIRL CLONE, I ALREADY WANT TO SEE MORE THAN THE TWO EPISODES WE GOT SO FAR! GOD, I LOVE THIS SHOW!

Oh yeah, there was also a new episode of Miraculous Ladybug that aired on the same day too, I guess. It was pretty good. Hell of a lot better than the past three episodes I've sat through.

Let's get into the fifth (chronologically the eleventh) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Guiltrip

We start off in the middle of class where we see Marinette looking at Adrien lovingly.

Because the writers are still trying to push the Love Square on us as if they were trying to sell us some death sticks. And yes, expect a few Star Wars jokes in this review. This episode did premiere on May 4th after all.

Rose suddenly gets a headache, and asks to go to the nurse, saying that “Miss Dora” is back. While walking there with Marinette, she explains that it's a code name she gives when her head hurts and can tell Miss Bustier without letting everyone know. She probably felt a name like “Maya Grain” would just give it away.

At lunch, Juleka gets a text that really upsets her, so Marinette tries to cheer her up. Keyword being “tries”.

Okay, yes, this is referencing the previous scene, where Rose refers to a certain snack at the nurse's office she eats to recover her health whenever “Miss Dora” visits called “Mr. Coffee”, but it's just bad timing. I get Marinette has a habit of not reading the room, but why did she have to use the term “Miss Dora” when she knows what it's being used for? Sure, she doesn't know that Juleka knows, but did she really have to say “Miss Dora”? She couldn't have used any other name instead? It's like making a chemotherapy joke when you just found out someone close to you has cancer. Even putting the context aside, what is this joke's punchline supposed to be? That “Miss Dora” will visit Juleka if she eats her lunch? Even by the humor standards of this show, the joke fails spectacularly.

Marinette bumps into Adrien, and although she stutters a little with a little exaggerated body movement, she does manage to take things seriously so she can have an actual conversation with Adrien about Juleka, who wants to be alone. She explains that the text she got was from Rose, who was sent to the hospital because of her sickness, and the entire class finds out because Marinette texted everyone to come to check on Juleka.

Goddamn it, Marinette. I usually defend you for getting screwed over by the writing, but you really aren't on your A game today.

Juleka explains that Rose got this sickness when she was little, which naturally worried everyone else. To make things worse, Juleka also says Rose made her swear to not tell anyone about her to worry her. Everyone else swears to not let Rose know that they know, and the act of support is actually enough to drive away an Akuma targeted at Juleka.

Unfortunately, nobody ever said anything about being overly affectionate to Rose, so everyone in the class tries to do things for Rose like carry her bags, giving her a pillow to sit on in school, helping her take notes, letting her cut in line at lunch, and giving her apples.

All of this makes Juleka remorsefully tell Rose that she told everyone else, which worries her because she hates all the special treatment, so she goes to tell them all about her illness. While they seem to accept her, the next time she sneezes, they overreact like, uh... how can I make this joke in a tasteful way?

Rose says she's had enough with all the treatment, which makes Juleka feel guilty. In the bathroom, she gets akumatized into Reflekta (yet again) with a Sentimonster named Guiltrip. And then Reflekta immediately gets sucked into the Sentimonster, which will cause it to go out of control. Nice job, Shadowmoth.

While it might not look like much, this is easily my favorite Sentimonster by far. Granted, that's not saying much, given all we've gotten so far for Sentimonsters is bootleg Mothra, sentient candy, a robotic doll, a frog with a body count, yet another evil doppelganger, and an eye, but my point still stands. Rather than actually confront the heroes, it's basically a portal to another world where it can trap people in bubbles that represent their regrets and despair, and turn them into copies of Reflekta.

It's a really strong metaphor which reminds me of the villains from Kamen Rider Wizard, who tried to drive their victims to despair in order to turn them into monsters. Ironically, that show's main villain is also some asshole in white who was risking countless lives just to save someone close to him. In general, the area inside of Guiltrip is visually stunning, and easily the highlight of the episode. It's just so surreal, and it really sets the tone the episode's going for.

Ladybug and Cat Noir arrive on the scene, and also get sucked into the portal, seeing some of the victims before they also start to fall into despair. And I can't believe I'm saying this, but this is one of the few times where Angstdrien Depreste is thematically appropriate. Cat Noir points out that if they had simply defeated Shadowmoth by now, none of this would be happening, which is a good point. He even attempts to kill himself using his Cataclysm, but unlike RWBY, they don't try to glorify it.

This also leads to Rose managing to fight off Guiltrip's powers with her optimistic personality (so I guess you could say she's A New Hope for the heroes), inspiring Ladybug to compliment Cat Noir. While I'd normally be pissed that this is yet another way to boost his ego, it does fit in with the episode's theme of positive thinking. Well, with the exception of one line where she points out what her time as Ladybug would be like without Cat Noir...

BEING A SUPERHERO IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FUN. Yes, there are certain benefits to being a superhero, but it is not a fun game you play when lives are on the line. Why are the writers so dedicated to validate Cat Noir's beliefs that being a hero is just a fun extracurricular activity? Has there ever been a superhero who shares a similar mentality and isn't treated like a complete jackass?

So Ladybug and Cat Noir break free of the bubbles, and after summoning her Lucky Charm, a pickaxe, Ladybug realizes she needs more positivity to break free from Guiltrip. As such, she pulls out the Pig Miraculous and gives it to Rose, who transforms into Pigella. Funny how she forgot her little headache condition when she bangs her head like a death metal singer while transforming.

The design is... wait, she's not wearing a skin-tight jumpsuit? She's actually wearing something different?

Yeah, I really like the Pigella design. There's a good mix of pink and white, and the skirt really brings the whole thing together. It really reflects Rose's optimistic and bubbly personality.

So the three heroes find Reflekta, who has been consumed by tons of bubbles. Pigella uses her superpower, Gift, to show Reflekta what her heart wants the most right now. So it's basically a more specific version of the Fox Miraculous? In fact, what do pigs have to do with optimism?

Whatever reason, it works, which helps Reflekta to break free of Guiltrip's influence, letting Ladybug de-evilize her. But because we need to have a fight scene in this episode, the Reflekta clones start to attack the heroes, but Ladybug uses the pickaxe to climb out of Guiltrip and purify the Amok.

So Rose hands the Pig Miraculous back to Ladybug, and the episode ends with everyone treating Rose normally in class, realizing she isn't as delicate as she thinks she is.

So yeah, I really like this episode. Aside from a few stupid things Marinette said this episode, I honestly don't have a lot of problems with the episode here.

I also really like the lesson this episode is going for. It doesn't shame Rose for rejecting the help, and it doesn't shame the class for being to overprotective of Rose either. It tries to find a middle ground, which is an important lesson to learn, not just for dealing with a loved one who has an illness, but for disabled people and other kinds of situations where someone has a disadvantage. Even as much as I ragged on Marinette for the text, it's clear that she isn't the only one to blame. In fact, nobody really gets blamed for anything this episode. It's more of a misunderstanding, and both sides find a balance on how to treat Rose.

It's overall a really good episode, and the second best one so far this season. And you know what? This episode taught me the importance of staying positive, so with that in mind, maybe I shouldn't be dreading “Queen Banana” when it comes out this week.

Wait, what? It got pushed back two weeks? Oh, THANK GOD! Now I feel like dancing. And I know exactly what song to dance to...

[iclaimedtobethebetterbard]

pasta & posies

Fandom: Sanders Sides Characters: Logan, Virgil Rating: Teen & up  Relationships: Analogical Warnings: Language, food Word count: 1818

Read on AO3!

My writing masterpost

Starlight Universe masterpost

analogical week 2021 start - previous - here - next - masterpost

Summary: Virgil loves his husband, but he’s pretty darn sure today is not their anniversary. So why the flowers? 

Notes: Day 1 of Analogical Week 2021! @analogicalweek Takes place in my Starlight Universe, does not need context to read. 

Virgil had just set a pot of water to boil on the stove when he heard the front door unlock and Logan clearing his throat as he stepped in, just like he did every time he arrived home. Virgil was pretty sure Logan didn’t realize he did it; he had no plans of telling Logan, in case he tried to break the habit, because Virgil thought it was kind of ridiculously endearing and didn’t want him to stop. Then again, most things about Logan were that way, so maybe Virgil was just a sap.

“Hey, babe,” Virgil called. He glanced at the clock on the microwave; as usual, Logan was home from work right on time, practically down to the minute. Virgil appreciated the fact that Logan was a creature of habit more than he knew how to put into words. The familiarity of Logan’s routines was a regular source of comfort to him.

Logan appeared in the kitchen doorway, smiling, something green and purple in his hand that Virgil vaguely registered but didn’t focus on. “Hello, dear.” He set down his briefcase—and god, Virgil was never going to be over how hilariously on-point it was that Logan had a fucking briefcase, not now after seven months of marriage and probably not ever—and crossed the room to kiss Virgil hello, his free arm easily sliding around Virgil’s waist and holding him close as gently as he had the first time they’d kissed.

Logan lingered in the kiss for longer than usual, though it stayed soft and sweet. Not that Virgil was complaining about any of that. He wrapped his arms a little more securely around his husband’s neck, rising up on his toes so his head was at a more comfortable angle.

Logan smiled and broke away at last, only to tip his head down and press his forehead against Virgil’s.

“You good, L?” Virgil asked, half laughing, reaching up to caress Logan’s cheek.

Logan nodded, humming assent. “I love you,” he said simply. He stepped back. “These are for you.” He offered the thing he’d been holding, which turned out to be a bouquet of purple flowers.

“I—thanks?” Virgil accepted the flowers, blinking down at them. Had something happened to prompt this? “I love you too.”

Logan nodded, leaning in to kiss Virgil’s cheek. “How can I help with dinner?”

“Uh, can you chop… things?” Virgil said, still preoccupied with the flowers. Was today something specific? Had he forgotten something?

“Certainly.” Logan pulled out a cutting board and knife. “We’re having that pasta salad you like, correct?”

Virgil nodded. “Mmhm.” October sixteenth… there wasn’t anything special on October sixteenth, right? Right?

Logan rummaged around in the fridge, pulling out cherry tomatoes and a bell pepper and the second half of a can of olives. The olives were stored in a reusable container, because Logan had casually rattled off the health risks of leaving food in open cans the first time he’d seen Virgil do it, and the next weekend Virgil had dragged him to the nearest slightly pretentious suburban outlet mall to buy a whole kitchen’s worth of storage containers.

Logan rinsed the tomatoes in a small colander and glanced over at Virgil, who was still standing in the middle of the kitchen staring at the flowers in his hands, mind racing. (Virgil couldn’t think of anything he was forgetting about today, but then, that was the thing about forgetting, wasn’t it?)

“I do not believe we own any vases, which I should have thought of; I’m sorry—but I think we have some jars on the top shelf that we could put those in,” Logan said. He reached up with one hand to the shelf in question and pulled down a jar, proffering it.

“Sure thing,” Virgil agreed, accepting the jar, in the back of his mind appreciating that Logan had clearly assessed his distress and tried to help, even if he’d misread what the actual problem Virgil was having was. “Cool cool. Cool cool cool. Um.”

Logan raised an eyebrow, set down the colander in the sink, and turned to give Virgil his full attention. “Is something wrong, dearest?” he asked, bringing the unspoken out into the open.

Virgil chewed on the inside of his cheek for only a beat. “Uh, how come you got me these?”

“The color reminded me of you,” Logan said, and Virgil began to relax. “And I believe flowers are considered a traditional anniversary gift,” he added, and Virgil panicked again.

Anniversary? It wasn’t their anniversary, right? Right? No, it definitely wasn’t. So what on earth was Logan talking about?

But Logan seemed to think this was all the explanation that was needed, turning back to the counter and beginning to slice the tomatoes in halves.

Virgil bit his lip and set the flowers down on the table so his hands were free to fill the jar with water. He set that down, too, and went to the cupboard to pull out a large bowl for the dinner to go in; he set it down on the counter beside Logan.

“Thank you, dear,” Logan said absently, transferring the small pile of tomato halves he had already accumulated into the bowl.

“Mmhm,” Virgil mumbled, heading back to the table and beginning to arrange the flowers in the jar. He had to snip quite a bit off of the long stems in order for them to sit properly in the jar, but after some shuffling, they didn’t look too bad at all.

Logan had gotten started on the bell pepper by now, and the pot on the stove had steam leaking from beneath the lid, hinting at the boiling water inside. Virgil pulled out the bag of dry pasta and the salt and began adding them to the pot.

“Hey, Lo?” he said cautiously, stirring the pasta in the pot.

“Yes, dearest?” Logan didn’t look up from the pepper he was dicing.

“Our anniversary—our wedding anniversary—is March 25. Right?” Virgil reached up and set a timer for the pasta on the microwave. They had been married at sunset in the garden outside the museum that they went to on their first date. Virgil had worn a black suit with a blue vest and tie, and elaborate black eyeliner reminiscent of a masquerade mask filled in with blue and purple eyeshadow, and Logan had worn a white suit with a purple shirt and bowtie.

“Yes, dear,” Logan agreed.

Virgil held back a sigh of relief that he hadn’t somehow totally misremembered. “And our boyfriends anniversary is December 6.” He had been the one to ask, nearly five years ago now. He had no idea he’d gotten the words out, sitting at a tiny table in the coffeeshop and holding hands across it as their third date drew to a close, but he’d somehow stammered out the question, and Logan had lit up and nodded so hard his glasses had slipped down his nose and nearly off his face before Virgil reached out and caught them.

“Yes.” Logan smiled to himself.

“And our first date was on November 13, and we got engaged on September 30. Yeah?”

Logan nodded. “All of that is correct. What—?”

Virgil sucked in a breath. “Okay, so this is probably totally stupid and obvious and I should know it already—”

“No, hey—” Logan began to protest.

Virgil forged on anyway. “—but what the fuck is it the anniversary of today?”

Logan blinked. “Oh.” He set down the knife beside the now fully chopped pepper.

Virgil cringed. “I know, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t—”

“No!” Logan interrupted. “No. I’m sorry for making you anxious, dear. I forgot. I don’t think I ever told you.”

That�� was unexpected, and Virgil couldn’t quite figure out what it meant. “Uh. Never told me what?”

Logan glanced away, looking flustered. “I—well.” He looked back and reached over for Virgil’s hand, squeezing gently. “Five years ago today, I realized I loved you.”

All Virgil could do was stare for a moment, his chest filled with something achingly sweet at the sight of Logan’s earnest face, dark brown eyes searching Virgil’s as he clasped his hand reassuringly.

“Oh,” Virgil choked out, reaching for Logan’s other hand and squeezing back, feeling a smile stretch across his face. “Yeah?” He reached up, taking one of Logan’s hands with him, and caressed his husband’s cheek.

Logan glanced away again for a second, biting his lip, then brought his gaze back to Virgil’s. “Yes. I—I wrote it down. In my Notes app. And this year I set a reminder for it on my phone.”

Virgil let out a tiny laugh. “You did?”

“I did.” Logan nodded, a smile creeping onto his own face. “It was important.”

“You are such a nerd,” Virgil said, his voice shaking with emotion. He moved forward until the toes of his purple converse almost bumped into Logan’s plain black work shoes and reached up to wrap his arms around Logan’s neck. “I love you so much.”

Logan wrapped an arm easily around Virgil and cradled Virgil’s cheek in his other hand. “I love you too,” he murmured, his expression soft and tender and open and just for Virgil and perfect.

Virgil leaned up and kissed him, cupping the back of Logan’s head in both his hands and drawing him in closer as Logan kissed back, marveling yet again over the fact that Logan was his husband and he had somehow gotten lucky enough that this was the everyday they were creating together, this was the thing that was going to be ordinary for the rest of his life, and he was pretty sure he would never get enough of Logan and his thoughtfulness and the way he worked so hard to be vulnerable with Virgil and the way he kissed Virgil and his curiosity and passion for learning new things and everything about him, he was Virgil’s favorite everything and Virgil loved him so much—

The timer on the microwave went off, startling them both.

Logan was the first to start laughing, and that set Virgil off, pressing his face into Logan’s shoulder and giggling helplessly as Logan reached over to turn off the timer and then the stove, his other arm still holding Virgil close.

Virgil collected himself, gasping in a breath and forcing the laughter back into a fond grin. He pressed another, quicker, kiss to Logan’s mouth, then pulled away and reached for the potholders so he could drain the cooked pasta.

As Virgil set the now-empty pot back down on the stove, Logan touched his elbow to get his attention.

“Hm?” Virgil said, turning to face him.

“You are a wonder,” Logan breathed, pulling him close again and simply hugging him.

Virgil grinned, reaching up to touch Logan’s cheek and gazing into his eyes.

He had picked a pretty good person to build forever with.

[todomitoukei]

hii! may i ask you a few questions about japanese since you speak it and i’m currently learning it? you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to 💕

I started learning Japanese last year and passed the N5 exam. I started N4 in mid December and honestly I’ve improved so much and I feel so motivated! Your translation posts inspire me to do my best because i really want to read manga in Japanese, especially Naruto.

So, my questions are:

1) When did you start learning Japanese?

2) At what level did you read manga in Japanese? or did you immediately start learning regardless of your skill level?

3) What were the challenges you faced when reading manga in Japanese?

4) At what level do you recommend we read manga in Japanese? My sensei said we can read manga targeted for elementary students after N4 and we can watch tv in japanese after N3

thank you for taking the time in answering this ❤️

Hi! Yes, Japanese-related questions are always welcome :)

First of all, congrats on passing the N5!! And I'm really happy to hear that my posts inspire you so thank you!

As for your questions;

1) Technically, I started a couple of years ago, but it wasn't consistent at all, so I would study a few weeks, or maybe a couple of months, and then go months without studying at all and by the time I decided to pick it up again, forgot so much I basically had to start all over (though a few basics were always still there!). When I picked it up again in 2020, I, fortunately, had a lot of free time (corona, obviously) and dedicated all of that to studying Japanese and since then, have been consistently sticking to it and that's when I actually started making progress.

So the short answer I always give people is that I've been studying since 2020 but I already had some basic knowledge at that point, meaning I didn't fully start from scratch.

2) I didn't start out by reading manga and also wouldn't recommend doing so. There are a lot of graded readers out there that I would recommend, or even better, my favorite and most helpful resource: Satori Reader. There are lots of stories on there that all come with audio so you can hear the pronunciation, and it also comes with an integrated dictionary feature, meaning you can click every single word and it will tell you what it means, including entire grammar explanations. Plus, you can add words to your own personal deck to study again later.

I highly recommend Satori Reader for the start, because it really helped me get used to reading whole paragraphs and since the vocab/grammar is explained in context, it's easier than looking them up online or in a generic dictionary.

As for when I actually started reading manga? Pretty much when I was around your level, so while studying N4 material. This brings me to the next question of what the challenges were -

3) When starting to read, the most important thing is making sure it's suitable for your level. If you google "japanese manga for beginners" there are a lot of recommendations. Personally, I started with yotsuba& because it's about a little girl and her day-to-day life. That way you "only" have everyday vocab, unlike with other genres that may have more specific vocab (i.e. if there's fighting, there's everyday vocab AND additional fighting-related words, etc.) so it's a lot easier.

4) Okay, I feel like I already answered this above lol, but hmmm I would say your teacher is right. Most people recommend using comprehensible input, which means consuming content that you understand roughly 80-90% of. That way, you will always learn something, but it won't be overwhelming.

I do think, though, that starting to consume content in your target language will always be overwhelming at first, so if you just make yourself aware of the fact that you won't understand everything and that that's okay, you're good and it's gonna be better than if you waited longer to ensure that you understood more.

Especially when watching anime or tv shows (and also with manga of course) having the visuals is also always going to help you, so even if you didn't understand a lot, you'd be able to follow the story due to the visuals.

Reading is easier, though, because you can just go at your own pace so I agree that focusing on reading more at first is better.

So, I guess to sum it up: honestly? I say just go for it! Start reading, go slow and you'll immediately notice what you're struggling with. Write down any new words + grammar and make sure to study those after. You will also learn so much and it's gonna be easier to remember because you learned it in context and a lot of words and grammar points will just come up repeatedly so you will remember them sooner or later through that constant exposure.

Anyway, I hope this helped! But also feel free to ask more if you have any other questions :)

[electricrogue]

Sharon den Adel isn’t fucking human

... no, really. For context, I was at a music festival in my country - Way Too Far Rock Festival, and believe me that name is earned xD. And Within Temptation were headliners there and I got to see them live (again, it was my third time actually but definitely not the last one) and aaaaah.

First of all, that woman is like fucking quicksilver. Like it was my first time I had a decent enough phone to try and make pictures and I was trying to get a shot of her with the boys but like... one second she was here, then she was on the opposite side of the stage, running like hell from one place to another and I was just trying (and mostly failing) to keep up with her.

Also because of Covid bullshit this was the first time I got to hear the newer songs live (newer meaning Resist and the singles that came after that). And just... It was late and my feet were hurting a bit and I was tired but the second I heard the trumpets in Reckoning and she came on stage I forgot about all of that. It’s such a surge of... life, there’s no other word for it, that you get when she starts singing that it’s fucking unbelievable.

Also fun stuff they played also their most recent single, Don’t Pray For Me, and I feel like I have to punch some people for that. Why, you ask? Because Sharon was like “ok so we wrote this one and then we wrote like a whole ass story about the reason we wrote it and actually it’s about this and that”. And here comes the want to punch people, because she had to do that because people complained. And ok I get religion is a touchy subject, but she didn’t sing about religion, not really. She sang about how when you stuff religion down someone’s throat it becomes an issue, and she’s fucking right about it. And you know what even if she sang against religion, I never heard anyone complain about Weak Fantasy or Cry For The Moon for that matter so yeah. Hypothetically if she wanted she could also be against religion a bit. You know, as a treat.

Also they did Raise Your Banner and they sang it for Ukraine (I will post that separately because it deserves its own post) and God... chills.

Also also there was a real cute moment at the end where Sharon noticed there were kids in the audience and she was like “you know what bring some kids on stage, like the two girls over there and the two boys over here“ and in 30 seconds she had like 20 of them on the stage? Like I hated audiences when I was a kid (I’m not too good about them now either) but to have that done to me when I was a kid? I’m pretty sure I would have become an instant fan. And that is based only on how cute and caring Sharon was with them like some of them were a bit out of their element(totally understandable) but she took care of them and told them were to stay and calmed them down and 20 seconds later they were singing like crazy with her and yeah. Nobody is immune to Sharon that’s all I’m saying.

... and on a final note I wanna kiss whoever designed Sharon’s outfit because damn that was gorgeous. And yes I know Sharon is probably the one who came up with the idea I said what I said. Like the crown and the metal thingie on the arm (I wish she kept those more but it’s probably hard to navigate with them).

[jupitermelichios]

On a more possitive note, I’ve started watching Sword Art Online. It’s one of the worst things I’ve ever seen (and the last film I saw in cinemas was Cats to give you context for the scale i’m working on here) and I kind of adore it in much the same way I love garbage like Smallville or Twilight. It’s so stupid on so many levels. You could challenge someone to write the worst anime, and it would almost certainly be better than SAO. It’s almost hypnotic how terrible it is.

No one should watch this terrible terrible show so I therefore don’t feel at all bad that I’m about the spoil absolutely everything, but honestly if you do also hate-watch this please come talk to me about how terrible it is. I don’t know anyone else who watches it.

Highlights of Season 1 include:

everyone is trapped in an MMO, and if you die in the MMO you die IRL. but if you were a beta-tester you’re probably fine because they just let them keep all their levels and items from the testing, so they’re all massively OP and everyone just accepts this as a normal and non-game-breaking thing

it’s a fantasy MMO but there’s no races, no magic system, no weapons except swords and maces, and not even an option to dual wield - literally all you can do in this fucking game is stand in front of an enemy and mash the attack button. I’m pretty sure they’re trapped there because the devs realised no one would play this post launch-day otherwise because it’s boring as shit

when the villain traps everyone he also just changs all their avatars to look like they do IRL for absolutely no reason, like actually none, he doesn’t even say he thinks it would be funny, he just does it and no one questions it and it is literally never mentioned again because this is the worst TV show ever animated.

in the second episode the main character deliberately witholds information about how to defeat a boss, indirectly causing multiple deaths. there is absolutely no reason for him to withhold it, he was just being a jerk because he doesn’t like people

in the third episode they reset his entire personality and he’s now a selfless hero pretending to be a lower level than he really is so people will find him more relateable and be his friend because all he wants is to help people. this is not a consequence of episode 2, they just decided they didnt like the character as he’d previously been written.

he makes some new friends who are all objectively terrible people who have decided for no season that the twelve year old who doesn’t really know how to play and keeps having anxiety attacks about the very real possibility of death has to be the guild tank. the MC is high enough level to be functionally immortal in like half the levels, but doesn’t tell anyone this he just lets them go on bullying this child

none of his friends survive that episode, in the game or IRL. which is also a christmas epsiode. a child dies in battle because she’s a terrible tank and then a man commits suicide out of guilt, so then the main character murders santa to try and bring them back from the actual dead but it doesn’t work because again, this is a video game and they are dead IRL, so then he walks off into the snow alone. Christmas!

we meet the best character in the entire show in episode 4, Rosalia, who has gone evil and started just straight murdering people because she’s sick of being an attractive adult woman who can’t get a date because she’s surrounded by lolicons who are only interested in the preteen characters (not a joke, that comes up, the show is firmly on the side of the lolicons)

in the same episode we get an extended bra and panty sequence staring an actual fucking child, like canonically this character is maybe 13 at best. this is one of only 2 occaisions when they feel the need to undress a character and it’s the fucking 12 year old, it’s so gross it reads like a parody of itself

literally every single named female character aged over 8 who talks to the MC falls in love with him after like 5 minutes (and in season 2 this includes his actual sister). he shows absolutely no interest in any of them (including his sister, thank god) until...

the main character gets engaged to a girl he only knows from an MMO after a virtual single date (he doesn’t actually win her in a PVP match but only because he looses the match, he 100% canonically tries to win her in a match, which she is apparently fine with). he then doesn’t bother to ask for her real name until the final episode, he just calls her by her screen name

(that’s okay though becuase it turns out that this moron of a love interest used her real name, on a local server, in a game where your character looks like you do IRL, because apparently getting doxxed is her hobby)

they then get in-game married off screen. there’s not even like a still of a wedding photo. nothing. the main character proposes and then the show immediately jumps to the honeymoon, it’s fucking bizarre.

they find a creepy child dressed all in white with no memory alone in the woods a week into their honeymoon who starts calling them mommy and daddy literally seconds after they first meet her, and they don’t suspect anything suss is going on and adopt her

for hilarity bear in mind the main character may only be 15 at this point (he says he’s only just turned 16 in the last epsiode, but his actual birthday is never mentioned), and his virtual wifu is 16, but no one ever questions the marriage or the adoption, even though ‘hey marriage in a video game is as important and meaningful as marriage in real life’ is an actual conversation people have multiple times. also they think the child they adopt is an actual IRL 8 year old who thinks these randos she met in an MMO are her mum and dad and everyone just goes with that like it’s a totally normal thing

a character called ‘Thinker’ agrees to meet an enemy faction leader for peace talks. the “peace talks” take place in a high level dungeon and he is told to come alone with no weapons and no fast travel. he does this. no one ever comments that his name is ironic, and in fact they seem to think that being betrayed and trapped in a dungeon with a boss is a totally unexpected turn of events Thinker could never have planned for

they take their new baby into the dungeon to rescue thinker, because they went to the jean grey school of baby rearing, and she imediately reveals that she’s actually a magical maggufin with infinite power, murders the grim reaper, and then dies. In literally the second episode she’s in

after she dies the MC hacks the admin account of the game, converts her corpse into an in game item, and saves to the local storage on his console, with the intention of bringing her back to life as a robot once they’re saved from the game. I’m not joking, that’s an actual thing that happens.

the fact that the main character can just access the main admin account and make massive game-breaking changes isn’t used again in that game and he never thinks to try and use it to force log people out or give himself infinite life so he can just rush the game and free everyone. nope, convert a corpse into an item and then never think about it again.

there’s an entire episode where all they do is go fishing. its the only filler episode in the season, and it immediately follows the death of a small child. it’s the most tone-deaf beach episode in writing history

it turns out this game, this game where they didn’t bother coding in any difference races, weapons, or any kind of magic system, was intended to have fully sentient AI therapists, because why the fuck not at this point honestly

oh also the game has PVP and you can trick the game into thinking a sleeping player is in PVP with you in order to actually murder a real person without it flagging in-game as a murder making the crime impossible for the real life legal system to investigate even though you just murdered a person. and they expect us to believe this game had actual beta testers. at least cyberpunk wasn’t played on microwaves you connected straight to your brain (also not a joke, the VR consoles canonically work by sending microwave radiation into your brain, no wonder VR never caught on)

the set up for the show is that they have to reach level 100 of a dungeon in order to win. At level 75, the writers got bored and the show just ends.

it turns out the power of love allows you to just break the fucking game and the main villain literally has a line about how ‘love allows you to remove debuffs, huh, we didn’t think to plan for that’ because again, there’s no metaphors in this show, everything is 100% literal including the fact that falling in love with another player means you’re immune to the paralysis status effect

power of love also allows you to very briefly become a poltergeist after being killed, but only for like 2 seconds. again not a joke or a metaphor, main character is killed but then gets to hang around as a ghost for a little bit to enable him to defeat the boss. he also doesn’t die in real life despite that being the entire fucking premise of the show, again because power of love.

the bad guy literally has no plan, he’s just doing shit for the sake of having something to do. His actions directly cause the deaths of more than 4,000 people, and it’s not even in aid of anything. they ask him why he trapped 10,000 people in an MMO and allowed them to slowly die, and he’s just like ‘huh, i forgot i did that, random’ and then just fucking peaces out

the fact that he committed one of the largest mass killings outside of war never really comes up again, as far as we know he doesn’t even go to jail. i think the show actually kind of thinks he’s a good guy, which is a fucking WILD moral stance to take on the deaths of 4000 completely innocent people for absolutely no reason

If this sounds hilari-bad but you don’t want to invest the time to watch a show which is objectively garbage, it has an abridged series which is famously better than the show it’s parodying (i’m dead serious, people have character arcs, the getting married after one date thing is properly addressed, the mc has to deal with PTSD because of all his friends dying in epsidode 3, they don’t immediately follow the death of a child with an extended fishing montage, the villain has an actual plan). It’s mostly actually pretty good, but this is the internet and it’s an abridged series, so while there are a lot fewer yikes moments than most it still has enough that I’m not comfortable recommending it without the caveat. that said I still enjoyed it a lot, although possibly not at much as pointing and laughing at the garbage that is the actual show.

[robininthelabyrinth]

I love your story with LW and JC raising LS! Do you plan on writing more?

Delight in Misery (ao3) - part 1, part 2

-

“So, I have a problem,” Jiang Cheng said, bursting into the room.

Sometimes Lan Wangji wondered if Jiang Cheng had ever heard of any other way to enter a room. Through the window, perhaps, since clearly walking wasn’t seen as a valid alternative.

“Just one?” he asked, not looking up from where he was repositioning A-Yuan’s hand on the guqin.

“No, I – hey!”

A-Yuan giggled, and that made Jin Ling, currently nestled in blankets next to the guqin, giggle as well, and predictably, Jiang Cheng forgot all else in front of such adorableness, immediately crouching down to make faces at Jin Ling.

“Your problem?” Lan Wangji prompted after a few moments.

“Ah..? Oh! Yes. Remember how I got into a fight with – what’s his name, that idiot?”

Lan Wangji pointedly remained silent. Jiang Cheng got into any number of fights, given his temper, and those were only the ones he told Lan Wangji about – and he wasn’t always reliable on that score, either.

The doctor that came to visit every week was not given to gossip, as Jiang Cheng had promised, but his assistant who waited outside the door, never entering, sometimes said things.

Disturbing things, sometimes.

Lan Wangji had not yet found a way to ask Jiang Cheng if he really did capture and torture demonic cultivators to death – mostly because he didn’t know what he’d do if the answer was ‘yes’.

He knew Jiang Cheng believed that Wei Wuxian had been corrupted by demonic cultivation into something unrecognizable, that he believed it was his own fault for not having stopped him sooner, that he thought it was his responsibility to stop demonic cultivators before other innocent people suffered the way he had because of Wei Wuxian; he knew that Jiang Cheng both longed and feared any success in finding Wei Wuxian’s spirit, wanting desperately to have any hint of him again and yet terrified by the possibility that it had been Wei Wuxian, in the end, that had destroyed him utterly. There were many flaws in his thinking, but without that defense mechanism, Jiang Cheng’s psyche would collapse.

When Jiang Cheng was a little steadier, he’d bring it up, Lan Wangji promised himself. When things were a little calmer. 

Soon.

“Right, right, I fight with too many to count,” Jiang Cheng said, grimacing. The expression made Jin Ling giggle again, as if it had been made to amuse him, and that lifted Jiang Cheng’s mood a little. “The one who called me a filthy cutsleeve that shouldn’t be allowed around children.”

Lan Wangji remembered. Even if Jiang Cheng hadn’t told him, A-Yuan would have: he’d been full of excitement at how Jiang Cheng had foregone even whipping the man with Zidian and just punched him full in the face with a fist full of purple sparks. And then there’d been some kicking, according to A-Yuan, and a great deal of shouting about how people who abused children were people who abused children and that being a monster had nothing at all to do with anyone’s preferences in bed.

That poor man – he might have escaped with fewer broken bones if his timing hadn’t been so bad. That confrontation had taken place just after Lan Wangji had finally confessed aloud that his feelings about Wei Wuxian were, in fact, of a romantic nature. Amusingly enough, Jiang Cheng had not guessed it – he’d spluttered and waved his hands and said really?! at least six times – which in retrospect was in line with his general level of obliviousness. After he’d finally realized Lan Wangji was serious, though, he’d responded well enough: he hadn’t said a word about cutsleeves or anything like that, not a single word. Instead, he’d immediately leapt into criticizing Lan Wangji’s poor taste in men, claiming that actually living with Wei Wuxian would have driven him mad within weeks.

He hadn’t said that Lan Wangji could do better, though. They both knew that that was impossible.

“I remember.”

“Well, all sorts of rumors got started after that – no, don’t look at me like that, I told you that I don’t care one way or another! I don’t even want a wife right now; could I even handle having a wife the way I am now, more nightmares than sleep and no ability to control my temper?”

Lan Wangji shrugged and continued to strum the guqin in a repetitive motion, demonstrating to A-Yuan. Jiang Cheng would remember to get to the point eventually.

“Anyway. Rumors. People have started – asking.”

Lan Wangji’s hands paused. “You’ve been propositioned?”

“No! Well, I mean, yes, but dealing with propositions from men is the same as from women; you just glare until they go away –”

Sometimes Lan Wangji felt certain that Jiang Cheng would never find a wife.

After all, one would have to put up with him long enough to find the tolerable parts buried deep (deep) under all the prickliness and bad temper, and that was a task fit only for the inhumanly patient.

“– and anyway, no, I meant…someone asked me for help.”

Lan Wangji finally turned his head to look at him. “Help?”

Jiang Cheng sat down next to him. “Jin Guangshan’s bastard, the new one – Mo Xuanyu. He came to me during one of the conferences recently. He’s…he’s not fit for Lanling.”

Lan Wangji frowned.

“He’s getting bullied at Koi Tower, and pretty badly, too,” Jiang Cheng said. “He gave me some examples. Nothing truly intolerable in isolation, but when you put it all together…He’s very weak. Sensitive.”

“And he approached you?”

“I know,” Jiang Cheng said, long-suffering. “What’s the point of being infamously bad-tempered if people still approach you to ask for things…? He said that he trusts me because he thinks I’m, you know, like him.”

“A cutsleeve?”

“Exactly. It’s not looked on favorably in Lanling, to say the least.” He sighed. “Sometimes I wish we were all like Qinghe. I’m pretty sure if Nie Huaisang announced that he was marrying a sentient rosebush, Chifeng-zun’s primary concern would be how good its saber skills were.”

Lan Wangji felt a similar pang. His own sect elders, at Gusu, were not especially favorable to the idea either – Lan Xichen had long ago warned him that he would need to keep his inclinations to himself and that, if he ever found a partner, it would be best if the two of them could maintain low profile, pretending as much as possible to be merely brothers or close friends.

He’d thought that had all sounded quite reasonable, right up until he met Wei Wuxian, and little by little the idea of denying the way he felt had become utterly repulsive to him.

“Anyway, I feel like I should do something? But I can’t interfere with anything in Lanling, you know that.”

Lan Wangji knew. Matters between the Jiang sect and the Jin sect remained highly precarious. Jiang Cheng’s agreement not to marry or have children had maintained the alliance between them, but there was always the looming pressure that they could one day revoke the agreement and reclaim Jin Ling – perhaps even going so far as to bar them from seeing him again.

It was one of Jiang Cheng’s many nightmares.

“I can’t not do something,” Jiang Cheng was saying, waving his hands, and that was sign enough that whatever Mo Xuanyu had told him had made an impact. Normally if something touched on Jiang Cheng’s bottom line – Lanling and its threats – he stopped thinking about it immediately. “If this isn’t stopped, it’ll only get worse and worse, and the kid’s unstable as it is…I wouldn’t be surprised if he killed himself. Maybe not immediately, maybe not for years and years, but – one day.”

The Lan sect prioritized the preservation of human life over all else.

Lan Wangji considered his options.

“But then we get back to the fact that it’s Lanling. It’d be one thing if he were a nobody, but he’s Jin Guangshan’s son – I probably wouldn’t even be able to get near him, usually –”

“Brother could.”

Jiang Cheng twisted to look at him. “What?”

“Brother could,” Lan Wangji said. “He is sworn brothers with Lianfeng-zun; he has an entry token into Lanling and is familiar with much of Koi Tower.”

Jiang Cheng blinked. “And this helps me…how? I don’t think even Zewu-jun, however kind, would make trouble over a second-hand story that’s not even objectively that bad.”

“He would believe me.”

Jiang Cheng went quiet for a moment, and there was nothing but the innocent plinking of A-Yuan’s fingers on the guqin.

“This had better not be one of your attempts at self-sacrifice,” he finally said. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to – especially for Mo Xuanyu, of all people, you don’t even know him – ”

“I am ready,” Lan Wangji said, and Jiang Cheng looked abruptly stricken. Lan Wangji didn’t understand why until he saw the way Jiang Cheng’s eyes flickered towards A-Yuan, then away, and then back again – as if he were simultaneously trying to memorize his features and also distance himself. “To speak with him only. I will not return to the Cloud Recesses at this time.”

Jiang Cheng gave a guilty start. “Really? You know you don’t have to –”

“I have decided,” Lan Wangji said simply.

Jiang Cheng rubbed his nose. “Well, good,” he said, not looking at Lan Wangji. “It’s better for A-Yuan to get a good grounding in the basics in one place before you move him around. You can always reconsider later, when he’s older.”

Lan Wangji hummed in agreement and looked back down at the guqin. “You may choose how to tell him.”

“Wait, what? Me?” Jiang Cheng asked, looking appropriately horrified by the idea. “Are you crazy? You remember that I have only the most passing familiarity with tact, right?”

“It will probably be better that way,” Lan Wangji said, and even mostly believed it. A letter would be too impersonal, a passed-along message almost certain to get garbled – he had never been eloquent in his terseness.

Jiang Cheng, however tactless, would at least be able to offer some context.

Besides, Jiang Cheng’s inevitable rant about the Lan sect’s mistreatment of Lan Wangji would likely take up several minutes, giving Lan Xichen time to recover from the shock and for his mixed emotions to settle into joy at finding Lan Wangji again. He had made his brother suffer, he knew, and he would have to explain himself and account for that – but enough time had passed, time spent here in the room where his beloved had lived, where they might have lived together if the world had been different, that Lan Wangji felt that he could do it without fear.

He was fairly sure Lan Xichen would respect his request not to share his location with the rest of the sect, and accept his refusal to return – and if he didn’t, well, possession was nine-tenths of the law. It would be very difficult for them to force him to return through anything other than emotional pressure.

A-Yuan broke a string and yelped, making Jin Ling start fussing, and Jiang Cheng immediately panicked, all other thoughts forgotten, and even as he unfolded himself to go over and make peace, Lan Wangji thought to himself that there was enough here to make resisting that pressure worthwhile.

Besides – if it came right down to it, Lan Wangji suspected he would look quite well in purple.

[willowbird]

For the prompt thing, could you do 2 for au, 4 for trope and 5 for prompt with andreil?

Hogwarts au, meet messy, "you have the emotional capacity of a brick"

Dearest anon, how did you know that I have been literally aching for an excuse to do something with a hogwarts au?

For context, because idk if I'll be able to explain it in the ficlet, Andrew and Aaron have been raised by their real father, Joseph Minyard, and his wife, Betsy Dobson, since the twins were seven. Andrew instinctively retaliated against an abuser with magic when he was in foster care, bringing him to the attention of whatever the US's ministry of magic is called (I forgot). They found his dad, who is a British wizard, and also discovered Aaron's existence. The twins, upon meeting each other and finding out they were wizards, chose to stay together and go with their dad rather than risk potentially being separated in whatever system the US magic people has for orphaned magic kids.

(look, I've been thinking about this A LOT okay?)

The following scene would take place the summer before the twins' fifth year. They are fifteen, Kevin is sixteen, Neil is fourteen.

Please be aware that all these characters are a lot younger and significantly less traumatized. I mean, shit still happened to them, but they all get rescued from their abusive home lives a lot earlier than in canon.

---

Andrew Minyard had lost a bet.

It was a really shitty bet, and Andrew should have known at the time that he was being fucking set up. But, well - what was it that broody fucker always said? Oh. C'est la vie. Or something. Whatever.

Point being, Andrew made a stupid bet and then he lost and it was really his own damn fault. Now he was stuck going to stupid Kevin Day's stupid house to play stupid broom-ball over summer break when he could have been basking in the wonders of muggle efficiency like television and air conditioning. What made it worse was that his mom had been so damn delighted that he was going over to a friend's house, too, and Andrew didn't usually have it in him to smash her hopes and dreams when she was so genuinely happy for him.

So. Here he was, broom in hand (because if he had to do this he was at least going to suffer with the familiarity of his own fucking broom), staring up at obviously haunted creaky old manor house that Day apparently lived in.

"Great," he grumbled to himself. "Just.. great." Andrew did not like ghosts, did not like them one fucking bit. They always wanted to chat you up and had absolutely no respect for personal space.

The longer he delayed, though, the longer Day was probably going to force him to participate in his bullshit "training camp", so Andrew straightened his shoulders and trudged up the cracked stone staircase that lead up the hill to the front door of the house. The very second Andrew had both feet on the dilapidated front porch, one hand reaching for the knocker, the front door began to swing slowly open. You know, as they were wont to do in creepy old ghost-infested houses owned by wizards.

Without waiting for a welcome (because the door fucking opened for him, that was invitation enough), Andrew strolled inside. He didn't even flinch when the door slammed shut behind him.

(Okay, maybe he jumped a little bit. Just a little.)

No one was waiting for him in the foyer, because of course that would be too easy. At least the inside of the house didn't look as abandoned as the outside did. On the contrary, the foyer was well-lit and free dust and cobwebs. It opened up into a round sitting room that looked lived-in rather than haunted, personal affects strewn about here and there in vaguely organized chaos and family pictures on the mantle above the fireplace.

This, Andrew had learned quickly upon his introduction to the magical world about seven or so years ago now, was fairly common when it came to magical families living in and around muggle neighborhoods. Sure, there were wholly wizarding villages, but not a ton of them. Most of the magical community had to coexist or at least peripherally exist with the muggle one. With the work of a couple of charms and a heavy dose of aesthetic, a magical family could live comfortably without the muggles looking too closely - and even if they did look closely, it was the haunted old house at the end of the street so strange things were bound to happen around it, right?

Homey as it may be on the inside, it was still actually haunted, though. Andrew had a good sense about ghostly lairs and this was definitely one of them.

Heaving a sigh, Andrew moved through the sitting room and ventured deeper into the house. The sooner he found Kevin, the sooner he could leave.

The rest of the house, Andrew swiftly found, was an uncanny combination of the haunted image it presented to outsiders and the cozy haven of the front sitting room. The hall leading off the sitting room was normal when you looked down it heading away from the sitting room, but when Andrew looked back over his shoulder it was like looking into something out of a cheap horror film (of which Andrew had viewed many, much to his father and brother's chagrin, but his mother liked to critique them with him).

Andrew checked each door he came across. Some of them were locked. Some opened into perfectly normal coat closets and bathrooms. At least one of them opened onto an actual cemetery where a bunch of ghosts were playing croquet. Andrew quickly shut that door before any of them tried to talk to him.

It was when he came to the staircase, however, that he finally started to get somewhere. Voices could be heard when he hit the first landing, but they completely vanished when tried to move beyond it - either further up the stairs or out into the hall. Turning to inspect the walls, Andrew realized that one of them wasn't actually a wall at all, but an illusion -- his hand right through!

"This is getting ridiculous," Andrew grumbled to himself as he stepped through the goddamn fucking wall.

He found himself in a wide, clean hallway bathed in the bright sunlight that was streaming in from the skylights placed every few feet. From one of the open doors a bit down the hall, Andrew could finally make out the words of what was obviously an argument.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not going to your bloody school, Day?!"

"You can't just not go to school, Neil! The Ministry will have your wand, and then where will you be?"

"Oh come off it, do you really still buy into all that regulatory shit? They can't track me if I'm not a student unless they have an open warrant out on me. I could turn the corner store into a giant anthropomorphic pig that pisses coffee and they wouldn't know it happened until the story hit the local news, and even then they'd have a hard time tracking me down, considering those lazy twats barely even know how to read let alone track a rogue wizard."

"Galloping Gargoyles, Neil. Where in Merlin's name do you come up with this shit."

"It's called an imagination, Day. I was able to foster one while not being indoctrinated into the sheep-brain miasma that is Ministry-approved wizarding society."

This 'Neil' was getting more worked up as he spoke, spitting out his words like he was crafting a very pointed hex. There was the scuff of footsteps and a shadow fell across the hall as someone stepped toward the hall. "I'll be leaving now, thanks. Have fun being institutionally programed to fit the conservative mediocrity."

A larger shadow blotted out most of Neil's. "You can't just go, Neil!"

There was a scuffle, then a short kid wearing oversized robes stumbled into the hall. "Try and bloody catch me then, you lumbering infant of a Bandersnatch!" And then the kid turned and bolted down the hall -- right toward where Andrew had paused to eavesdrop on their conversation.

Now, Andrew was all ready to step aside. This was none of his business, after all. If this mouthy kid wanted to run away and join the circus or something, more power to him. He, also, thought school was a nightmare. But then Kevin stumbled out into the hall and shouted, "Andrew! Block him!"

And, well. Look. This was all fucking Kevin's fault. Kevin and his stupid cross-House quidditch club and his obsession with running drills. It was also Nicky's fault, for forcing them all to go so they could bond or what the fuck ever the purpose was. But Kevin shouted 'block!' and Andrew had spent two years as a beater and one year as a keeper and, well, reflexes kicked in.

He blocked.

Except, he had spent two years as a beater, and he was holding a broom. So.

His arms moved on their own, and it was a mighty, vicious swing. The next second the kid was flat on his back, gasping to try and catch his breath. Kevin loped over on legs too long, shooting Andrew an appreciative grin that Andrew kind of wanted to punch off of him.

"What.. the.. actual... fuck..." the kid - Neil - wheezed from the floor.

Now that he was officially drawn into this mess, Andrew allowed himself to indulge his curiosity and slung his broom up against one shoulder to approach the fallen boy. He felt a little bad (okay, more than a little), so he figured he'd offer him a hand up at least. Except, when he got to the kid and looked down he was shocked to find just about the prettiest boy in the whole Nimue-cursed universe.

(Andrew's gay awakening had happened when he was twelve years old. The keeper of the Gryffindor quidditch team smiled at him and told him he'd make a pretty good beater. Andrew had tried out for his own House team the very next week, and it had all been downhill from there.)

Andrew cleared his throat and opened his mouth to say something cool and unbothered, because that's what you did when you met someone pretty and wanted to impress them. Instead, like the utter dork that he was, he said, "Red hair and a hand-me-down robe? You must be a Weasley."

"What the fuck is a Weasley?" the sharp, pretty boy on the floor shot back through gritted teeth, pushing himself up into a sitting position.

Kevin's obnoxious shadow fell across the both of him and he sighed, putting his hands on his hips. "Don't mind Andrew, he remembers everything he hears and has a tendency to regurgitate random lines from other things when he feels awkward or anxious."

"Don't mind Kevin," Andrew followed up conversationally, "he's an insufferable know-it-all with a tendency to overshare and force people to play stupid broom-ball when they should be having a perfectly air-conditioned summer break."

"You emotionally wound me."

"You have the emotional capacity of a brick, don't try me Day."

Kevin rolled his eyes. Neil honed in on Andrew with eerie intensity. "You have an air-conditioner?"

Aha! Mission accomplished: cute boy impressed.

Andrew smirked. "Yup." He popped the 'p', feeling quite good about himself, his earlier bumble placed in the back of his head where he could obsess about it later.

Neil's narrowed eyes scanned him up and down, then relaxed, the blue of them bright and intelligent. He looked like he was figuring something out about Andrew but Andrew had no idea what or why. It took some effort, but instead of squirming he met Neil's gaze full-on. After a long moment, Neil seemed to have made a decision. He pushed himself up to his feet and nodded. "Alright then. You play quidditch?" He gestured to Andrew's broom with the jerk of his chin.

He hadn't noticed it earlier because he'd been so fascinated with the argument itself, but now that he could focus on Neil's voice, Andrew realized that there was something of about his accent. It wasn't that it seemed fake but more that it... it reminded him of his own, back when he'd been younger and had only been in England for a couple of years. He remembered being teased for it, and getting into a lot of fights because of that. Well, he remembered getting into fights because Aaron was also teased, and no one picked on his brother but him.

"I thought you were going to run off and join the circus." Andrew arched a brow.

Neil wrinkled his nose. "No. I'm still not going to your stupid castle school." He paused and looked from Andrew to the broom back over to Kevin and sighed. "But... one or two games of quidditch before I go can't hurt."

Kevin looked overjoyed. He grinned at Andrew and Andrew supposed that they really must be friends now, because he felt quite pleased about that.

"Great!" said Kevin. "Let's go! We should be able to get in some warm-up rounds before the others get here!"

"Others?" Andrew and Neil said with identical inflections of disdain. The sound of an echo startled the both of them and the looked at each other. Then, Neil smiled.

Andrew supposed a day without AC playing stupid broom-ball wasn't so bad after all.

Fun little prompt things

[doyelikehaggis]

it’s time for the dreaded s6 finale emotions

*strong regret in projecting onto ryan as much as i do because this episode h u r t s*

tyler being the one to invite ryan along?? g a e

“can’t send a man to his doom without getting drunk first” he’s trying so hard to fit in. poor bastard. and not calling the others out for excluding him? you can just tell he’s trying so hard not to ruin it for everyone, and nobody even gives a shit. and then of course he eventually snaps, he’s just spent over an hour having to watch everyone have a great time and forget about him, and then alex suddenly expects him to have bought mike a gift, and they fucking tell him to stop being so selfish and god those fucking assholes

god the conversation where may-li tells charlie about her grandad. it’s so beautifully acted, emily burnett sells the denial perfectly, it just,, ow

this episode is hard to watch when you have really strong empathy and project onto both ryan and charlie. h e l p

wow charlie really just delivered a baby in a car in the middle of the woods huh. i keep forgetting how absolutely badass that is

you know what absolutely kills me is the vague suicide subtext to ryan running away. take that goddamn phone conversation out of context and that’s what it is and that’s the worst part of all of this. and chloe saying that he’s left a note and that “i think he’s really gone for good”. o u c h

the fact that NOBODY EVEN NOTICES RYAN’S GONE EXCEPT MIKE AND CHLOE. even tyler doesn’t fucking notice. and then everyone cares more that mike’s gone to find him than that ryan even left in the first place. but we’re not meant to think about that because tracy’s here and everything’s absolutely fine right. this episode is murdering me can you tell

lily complaining about men on that facebook post. bit fruity of her, i must say *‘a day in the past’ flashbacks*

i havent watched my mum tracy beaker yet but i really need answers on how it fits timeline-wise into the tsotb/tbr/tdg canon

the fact that chloe isn’t even wrong when she says everyone would hate ryan even more if they found out mike isn’t there ‘because of him’ (read: because he quite literally had a breakdown and ran away and mike, being the only decent person in this goddamn show, went after him)

ah yes tracy, care worker of the year, really just said ‘your problems don’t fucking matter, forget that anything’s wrong because mike is getting married’. i love tracy but wow that is not the thing you say in this circumstance and the only reason it worked was because he felt bad about the cake and whatnot

this episode has such an all over the place tone. they really just went from mike freaking out to fiona figuring out he’s gone to a damn slo-mo shot of tracy and mike on a bike while ryan sprints behind them.

oh my god i forgot bailey was in this episode!! i hate him (affectionate)

this goddamn episode is so full of emotions i almost threw up oops. anyway it absolutely kills me that ryan looks like he’s about to cry pretty much the entire time. that poor kid. and then chloe really just pulls a tee and apparently loses all empathy towards him huh. love chloe but wow

i don’t think we get a chance to read what ryan wrote in that note? but i kinda wish we did. could’ve given some extra insight into everything

i have no idea if any of this is coherent, or how much of it is an actual analysis and how much is me projecting but oh well, this episode(s) is a fucking emotional trainwreck, what can you do

Oh god. I'm not prepared.

*valid regret to have, that sad queer kid with anger issues and insecurities experience hurts real bad*

Yes!! Once again proving that Tyler is the only one in the DG who actually cared about Ryan and wanted to be around him. He was pissed at Alex for not inviting Ryan like he was initally supposed to, and then took it upon himself to make Ryan feel included anyway.

That scene really pisses me off, because Alex really is going after him. You can tell, he won't let Ryan make a single joke without trying to be snarky about it, and then he purposefully tries to humiliate Ryan because he knows that Ryan couldn't possibly have known to bring a gift.

Oh yeah, I can barely ever rewatch the first part of the wedding for all of these reasons, but especially for Charlie finding out about her grandad. Emily really is way too good of an actor, that's why it's so painful.

I relate way too much to the strong empathy and projection, that shit hurts so bad.

Yeah!! Charlie did that!! Honestly, credit to her because I would not have been as calm as she was on a normal day if I had to deliver a baby in a car in the middle of nowhere, never mind after everything she had been through that day.

Okay, so you found a way to make Ryan's whole storyline of those episodes hurt way more than it already did. Thanks for that. But you are right, it does have that vague subtext to it. If this wasn't a children's show, I would've actually been worried that's where they were going to go with his storyline.

It does suck that nobody really noticed or cared that Ryan wasn't there. I wish even Tyler had shown a bit more concern, but I suppose they've only got enough time in an episode for so much.

That was definitely one of Lily's fruitiest moments, and that's saying a lot because of the aforementioned "a day in the past" flashbacks. Honestly, all of her scenes with Carmen and some with Tee are always fruity, there's nothing else to it.

Okay, so, I can kind of answer that one. My Mum Tracy Beaker definitely carries on from The Story of Tracy Beaker since it involves clips of it when Tracy sees Justine. However, it's only really connected to tbr/tdg canon through vague hints. Like, Tracy has a published book called "Who Cares?" and there's a mention of her being an ex careworker, and she wears a "T" necklace but it's slightly different from the one that she wears in the wedding episode. So, we know there are subtle references to TBR through these background details that are really just glossed over. There is a weird little moment when Tracy's daughter tells Justine that Tracy wrote a book, but Justine should already know that considering it was a big part of their reunion in Tracy Beaker Returns. At best, we can at least assume that everything that happened in TBR is canon for My Mum Tracy Beaker. I feel like, if we want to be able to make the timeline for the wedding add up with My Mum Tracy Beaker, we'd have to assume that Tracy hadn't already had Jess during the wedding. Since the wedding takes place around 2018, and Jess is 10, My Mum Tracy Beaker would have to be set in 2028 at the very least, and that would have to mean that Tracy had Jess the same year as the wedding. Either that, or she did already have Jess but just... never mentioned her because she was staying with Cam.

It really does kill me that Chloe was right about that, because you'd think at least some of them would have some sort of sympathy for Ryan. I wish Tyler did. Honestly, he had a genuine breakdown and ran away, and no one cared except Mike. Great family they are.

Yeah, that was not Tracy's best moment, but... that's just Tracy. She doesn't think, she acts on what she believes to be the best solution in that very moment. She was never exactly an aware winning care worker in all fairness skjdashd but Ryan definitely needed to hear something other than that.

I could barely be sad or stress during that episode specifically because of how chaotic it was, and ESPECIALLY because of that slow-mo that had no right being so damn hilarious.

SHFKDASJDLK "I hate him (affectionate)" well at least I'm glad the (affectionate) is there lmao. But I was screaming when I realized Baily (and Liam) were there, I was so happy!!

Oh yeah, Ryan looked so upset, he was absolutely blaming himself so badly. There was no need for Chloe to come in there "wish you'd run away for real" like fuck off. I love her. But fuck off.

I don't recall actually seeing the contents of the note now that you mention it.

Yeah, don't worry, I'm not sure most of my reply to it is coherent either. But those are episodes are some of the most fun to analyse because Drama and Angst.

[ridetherain]

Some Zelink parenting to make me feel better. Happy Mother's Day to the mothers.

Superpower

Words: 2094

"Link," Zelda said, "Can you hold the baby for Rhondson? She's agreed to fit me for that cold-weather gear we agreed on."

I gave her a swift nod and cautiously took the sleeping bundle. Rhondson spent a moment adjusting my arms and grip before she gave my head a pat and bustled behind a partition with Zelda.

I let the two women's discussion of what color and cut would be best for our adventures fade to the back of my mind as I wandered around the recently expanded shop. Rhondson had moved on from just Gerudo styles to add some Rito cloth (likely due to Fyson's enterprising) and even a few water-resistant options. None were as good as my Zora armor, but still quality fabric.

Zelda and I have spent the last several years touring Hyrule and stitching the disparate peoples into one community. Zelda steered any discussion of retaking the throne to a more democratic direction and, after we married, I understood her fear and supported democracy wholeheartedly. So instead, we found ourselves working as neutral parties and messengers throughout Hyrule.

The Rito outgrew their village a generation ago but resisted expansion into Hebra while the calamity ruled. Zelda and I were preparing for an extended survey of the mountains for a suitable location to build a new town.

I slowly circled the shop again and gave the baby a gentle bounce when Rhondson and Zelda's conversation turned into an argument.

"Rhondson! I'm going to be out in the wild for weeks! Roughing it! Sleeping in tents! Climbing mountains!"

"Just be careful! If you watch where you step then it shouldn't matter. You're the Princess! I won't have you leave this shop in anything but my best work! Besides, you said your jacket was white Before!"

"Hyrule is a democracy!"

I gave a little cough to remind them that other people exist. Zelda stepped out from behind the partition without a shirt on and glared at me. I smiled and covered the sleeping baby's eyes with one hand.

"Zelda!" I scolded, "Madison will see!"

She stuck her nose in the air and spoke to Rhondson without looking away or moving out of sight.

"Fine. Just do the pink then. Anything but white."

I smirked and tried to cover it by looking down and pretending to be fascinated by Madison's habit of sleeping while I'm holding her. Zelda hated pink. When I chanced a glance back up I saw immediately that I did not trick her and the thoughtful look on her face meant she was already planning her revenge.

---

Her revenge sucked. For me, anyway, I'm sure she enjoyed herself. My beautiful Rito set of winter gear was dyed. The jacket was a horrendous yellow and, predictably, the pants were pink. Every time she caught sight of me she started laughing. Worst of all, she clearly used some of our best ingredients to dye her pink jacket to a nice shade of dark blue so I'm the only one looking ridiculous.

The Rito children all loved my colorful appearance when we returned with our survey results. Kaneli was polite enough not to comment, but pretty much everyone else in the village did and by the time I got to the children I gave up and just let them hang on me and enjoy the mismatched clothes.

Zelda flashed me another smile at the sight of my clothes but stayed out of the fray with Amali.

"Mister Link? I'm tired."

"That's good," I said, "It's pretty late, so you're supposed to be tired."

Cree thought hard about what I said for a minute. Her little face scrunched up and I subtly glanced at my wife. She was glaring again. Cree gave a nod and wandered off to her bed with a sleepy "'night Mister Link" and the rest of the children followed her out. I gave Zelda my full attention.

"What's up?"

"Nothing."

I sighed. She'd tell me eventually. Or maybe not. Sometimes she forgot. I suppressed a smile at the thought. She'd been ridiculous lately, but after the stress of this trip is out of her system I was certain she would get back to her usual self.

---

Zelda did eventually get back to her usual self. By the time we got back to Hateno, Zelda was on another project and writing furiously in her journal. For once she wasn't letting me in on the project and didn't think out loud other than complete incomprehensible gibberish. The notebook she was using had lists drawn up of completely random words under number headings with no context.

Whatever she was into this time was pretty big and was taking all her energy. She didn't consult books which probably meant she was working on ancient technology again. That's the only subject she knew better than any book written. Eventually, I decided I needed to say something. She wasn't taking proper care of herself. She was eating well, but she wasn't out walking as much and it showed a little. She would be angry with herself when she pulled out of her project and found herself unable to hike up to the tech lab with me.

"Zel? Want to come up to the pond with me? We can go swimming."

"No, sorry, I'm a little busy today."

"You've been busy a lot lately. What have you been working on?"

Zelda looked nervous when she flipped the pages back and turned them to face me. I looked curiously at the lists she's been working on.

"One... Significant people... Sleep... Sitting... What is this?"

"Developmental milestones."

I still didn't understand. She grimaced and pushed her hair back from where it had fallen in front of her eyes. It revealed the dark circles from lack of sleep.

"For children."

"Oh..." I looked at the list again, "Did Amali ask for help? Is something wrong with one of the girls?"

"No, it's not for her... It's for us."

I was going through each girl one at a time and considering the items on the list. None of them stuck out to me.

"I wanted a clear timeline. Amali said there wasn't a book on how to raise a child, but I'm so worried about forgetting something so I figured I would write everything I could think of down and ask as many people as possible."

It took a minute for her words to filter into my head. I decided that Kheel was a little behind her sisters, but that was fine because she was the youngest. And Madison was too little still for most everything on the list. My muscles seized up and my breath started coming quicker. I spent one terrifying moment tense without knowing why I was so afraid.

"For... us..."

The room was tilting. This must be what Zelda means when she says she doesn't like being on the Sheikah towers.

"Yes, Link. Who else would I do this for?"

Okay. Breathe in. Hold. Breathe out. Zelda was still talking. Breathe in. Hold. Breathe out. Make sure you understand.

"You're pregnant." I said, confirming.

"Yes."

"With a baby."

She scrunched her nose at me.

"Yes with a baby. What else would I be pregnant with?"

I finally looked up into her eyes and her whole face softened at me.

"Oh, Link, don't panic. Yes, I'm pregnant. We're going to have a little baby here next spring. You're going to be a wonderful father."

My heart stuttered in its rhythm at the word "father." My hyperventilating stopped. My breathing stopped. Something wet hit my cheeks and I realized I was crying. I looked through blurry eyes at Zelda and saw her smiling back at me.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I just panicked. And I thought you'd stop our Hebra survey early if you knew."

The happiness I had started to recognize was immediately shoved out of the way for my terror.

"You were pregnant!" I fairly screeched in her face. I opened my mouth to shout at her some more, but nothing came out. I didn't have words that matched my fear so I closed my mouth and stared at her with wide eyes. The hyperventilating was back.

---

I was unbearable. I know I was because Zelda told me so repeatedly. I was mostly fine until it became obvious that she was pregnant. Something about the visual of a bump made the child more real than her words ever could.

We visited Kakariko, but I refused to take her further afield than that. Madison was almost a year old now and we hadn't seen her since before I knew of Zelda's pregnancy. Rhondson sent letters and I know Zelda wanted opinions from another woman who had recently given birth, but it was too far and too dangerous. I flat-out refused to let her teleport with the Slate. She was so angry with me that she kicked me out of the house and I had to spend the night at our cookpot. I told her I took a room at the inn. When I tried to convince her to let me move the bed downstairs she finally put her foot down and I was left to grumble.

She's due in a couple weeks and I've timed myself at running to the midwife. It takes seven minutes for me to get there and it will probably be more to bring her back.

Zelda had her feet up in front of the fire since the winter chill hadn't quite left Hateno yet despite the start of spring. Her hand was rubbing gentle circles into her stomach.

"Link, I need your superpowers."

I smiled at our little joke. My skill at putting children to sleep extended to settling an unborn child's kicking. I sat on the floor next to her and leaned my head cautiously against her just in case the baby decided to kick me in the face. Again.

"Come on, kid. Your mom needs some rest." I took over the circling with my hand and hummed the lullaby Zelda taught me.

Zelda sucked in a sharp breath. I hummed a little louder and used my free hand to take hers and gave it a squeeze.

"Link?"

"Hmmm?"

"Don't panic..."

I immediately tensed at the words and looked up at her. Her eyes were tense and a grimace was frozen on her face.

"I need you to go get the midwife."

"You're not due yet," I said stupidly, "we have another two weeks."

Zelda gasped again. I shot to my feet and hovered over her.

"Okay, okay," I said, "Just... Stay here... I'll... Okay..."

I rushed to the door and wrenched it open. Seven minutes plus however much time it takes to get back. I glance back at Zelda. It goes against the grain to leave her in pain. Maybe this is why the other Hero's didn't marry their Zelda.

---

Purah heard my headlong flight through town for the midwife and came down to visit after a few hours. The midwife roped her into helping with the birth and kicked me out of the house. I ended up waiting at the cookpot again while Symin filled the silence.

I shook like a leaf at the sound of Zelda's shouts and gasps. The wooden door only muffled so much. But the moment my child cried nothing could keep me out. I slammed the door open and rushed to the midwife. The woman had no patience for my "hysteria." She made me wait while the baby was cleaned and swaddled.

Zelda was exhausted. She was damp with sweat and weak. I held her hand and pushed her wet hair from her face. I could only glance at her occasionally. My attention was caught by the screaming child at our kitchen table. My child. Our child. The midwife brought the bundle of cloth to us and placed it in Zelda's arms. I helped her keep ahold of the baby - her arms were about ready to give out. The child barely paused for breath between cries.

"Link?" Zelda said, "I need your superpowers."

My hands shook as I arranged my arms as Rhondson had taught me and Zelda carefully passed the bundle to me. I hummed the tune I had been using for months and my superpower held. The cries lessened, but wide blue eyes blinked at me instead of closing in sleep. After so much time worried about pregnant Zelda that I didn't think to worry about my child. I was going to be unbearable.

A daughter.