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unravelling-the-world · 4 years ago

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random thoughts related to kagepro (tw for depression?? death?? suicide ?? implied ?? im not sure and idk what else read at ur own risk)

well idk lately ive been thinking a lot and ik ive uh always (? since i can remember?) have been depressed (i mean...it started around age 12...i dont really remember much before that. most of what i remember are bad moments anyways. or very specific scenes. but they dont feel mine. if that makes sense. its like remembering the scene from a movie. back on track i guess idk well lately ive realized i actually kin some characters and lately ive...been relating a lot to shintaro kisaragi fromkagepro. i mean its ok. there´s always been that specific similarity in us (after all, how many characters in anime are as related to coca cola as shintaro //and me,,im literally a coca cola addict lmao// well anyways. after some days, this lead me to thinking...to a hidden memory within my brain, i guess. I remember introducing my then best friends, to kagepro. one told me haha he´s like u bc the coca cola!! and i think i just laughed and smiled? i truly didn´t see it? i was sad sure, but i couldnt really relate to him. after all, i was the leader of my own little group of 12 year old weebs,right? (i was also 12 btw) i didnt personally dislike shintaro but i didnt rly see myself in him yknow? also i have loved ayano from ever since i have memory so idk like she´s one of my biggest comfort characters and its weird bc if she was ´´real´´ idk if i could date her or anything but im just glad she exists bc it somehow comforts me a lot yeah anyways ayano essay for another time lol. anyways at this age my favorite characters in kagepro were ayano and konoha ( i still love them a lot) thing is, at this point in my life i didnt know/wasnt aware i was transgender but i already kinda liked he/him pronouns so i roleplayed a lot. online. i roleplayed as konoha obviously lmao and actually one of my irl friends related to shintaro ?? and i think we may have roleplayed lmao and stuff.... she even had a facebook account named shin hikkikomori or smth like that. anyways fast forward bc after being 12 a lot of stuff happened obviously. and none of that relates to kagepro until quite some time. i will mention some items that dont really relate to kagepro but marked moments in my friend group that may be relevant later on. Around 2016)? Some of my closest friends changed schools (but we kept contact) yet i still had a big group at school. But it got fragmented along the way. 2017 i went to Japan and formed a new, different friend group with people that even today, are dear to me. When i came back, my friend group fragmented more. I kept contact with other members of the old group but one on one, not as a group anymore. 2018 we graduated, and i broke up my realtionship with one of my former best friends (2016-2018) 2019 was a year of change, and even though i was afraid and shit got weird, i was not doing too bad. i will skip that. Well. Im sure we all know 2020 was a trainwreck, shit happened. i had a villain arc. I lost my shit,definetely. Ups, downs, whatever. 2021 has not been too different. However, even through everything, in early 2020, i kept close relationships with my friend group. as the year moved forward and the restrictions started lifting ( thank you government very cool <3 //ironically obviously, this is the reason this shit wont go away//) some of my friends saw each other irl and stuff, or talked about stuff i didn´t understand/didn´t want to hear while on discord. I felt alienated. I felt empty. I got mad at a friend for the first time, for something he said. I ended up isolating myself. A friend celebrated her birthday. She invited me and never excluded me, asked me a lot of things and asked to virtually include me. But that would just make me feel more alienated, wouldn´t it? I told her it was ok, i didn´t go. Honestly, I felt like a bother. I didn´t want to bother. I wasn´t okay, but i didn´t want to bother anyone, so i isolated myself. I had a very bad breakdown. lasted weeks. When I recovered, it wasn´t the same. It felt like everyone else was closer, while i drifted away. I kind of recconected with some of my friends from Japan after this. In the vacations, i felt like i reconnected with some friends just to drift away again later. However, i never could reconnect with one of my best friends. She never really got mad at me or anything ( i think) but we don´t really talk much anymore. We used to talk daily, be it actual talking, memes, anything. I don´t think we´ve actually talked in weeks. There´s nothing I can do. This year, another friend had a birthday, but I was so disconnected from everyone I didn´t even care. I mean. It´s all broken now, isn´t it? The other day I just started wondering. When did I start relating to Shintaro so much? I had always been like this, hadn´t I? Who am I, actually? Why do I relate so much now? It´s not just about the soda. I had lost friends before, but I never really felt like that. Sometimes I feel like I´ve lost everyone. In a one year span I became a hikkikomori. About a month ago, when I entered classes, I was recognized as Shintaro pfp and I admitted to kinning him to people i´d never talked to before (on chat) // I decided to go apeshit idc anymore about what anyone thinks of me// I had fun. I think I must´ve posted on my stories, because two different people told me they were the ene to my shintaro. I appreciated it. i mean it´s kinda true bc now that i´m only on the pc they do bother me online and try to get me to open up or get better but sometimes the just annoy me lmao but also not bc they all have their own particular lives and they all seem to be doing better than me. Still, my classmates are very nice and inclusive. But it´s not like im close to any of them I guess. I´m just alone now. I´m fucked up man....I don´t feel real anymore. I don´t really know who I am. I guess that´s why I find comfort in seeing a part of myself in Shintaro? But when did i turn out like this? Why didn´t I relate when I was younger? Well, I hadn´t really lost any friends back then. I now know how painful that is. How lonely it is to be alone even when there is people around. idk. and i´ve always been quiet. introverted. shy. a loser. yet now whenever i meet anyone i try to idk connect? but i cant. i wish i could be more evil. maybe it´d just be easier if everyone really, truly hated me. maybe i´d get the strength to actually kill myself then. it´s weird. i really see myself in route xx shintaro. I know that´s fucked up because I know how it ends. but truly, i was trying. I was healing, i think i was going somewhere. and i was trying to keep my newly formed renovated friend group together. I really was trying to. I didn´t mind if we had sub groups on the big group, but we were all there for each other. I tried my best. I felt like i belonged. but now im alone again. and this time there´s nothing i can do. if something, i´ve made it worse. and i keep making it worse. it´s weird. when i first got into kagepro, both shintaro and ayano felt like adults. i thought they were really, really big. im older than them now. now i know theyre not really adults. i get it. i still feel 18. after all, these last two years have been taken away from me. i didnt waste them myself this time. i feel like a rotten 18 year old...when i listen to lost time memory, i just...get it. i always liked the song. i thought the story was so cool. when it first came out.. i still remember. iwas there. i waited for it. i loved it. i still do, but back then, i just saw it all as some really great and cool song. now i feel like i really, really get it. i love it even more. im hiding away in all my memories. but what is my true heart? what do i really want? i don´t know, i don´t know... If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward; I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead It would be nice if time could be turned back. Years may pass but I'll never die I repeat hopeful words to myself, even though I know I still won't be able to reach you. "It doesn't matter, just die already!" I said as I clutched my wrist, simply cursing it. Unable to do anything, I merely indulged myself in life. "If summer can show me dreams, then let's go to before you were taken away" The days where I hid my embarrassment are illuminating upon the atmosphere and burning my mind. If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from and naturally seclude myself from the outside world. "But that means you can't even see tomorrow?" I don't really care 'bout that, so it's ok I stained my hands in order to kill these boring days I'm choosing "solitude" after all A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again while clinging on to your colored smile Underneath the blazing sun Asking "Somehow, please take me away instead of leaving like this!" and my murmuring breath was quietly stopped

I guess i just wish someone could actually help me. take me out of this hole. Maybe some kind of closure would be nice. It´s not the same, though. I don´t have enough bravery in myself to actually kill myself. Mostly because of guilt. I can´t take the guilt of dissapointing everyone. I don´t want my parents to get hurt. I don´t want my bunny to miss me. Yet i wish everyday for it to be over. Lately, half of my dreams have been in Japan, with many friends, some who i met there, some who have never been there. Yet my brain shows me the dreams before it was all taken away. I think one of my favorite parts of the day is dreaming. I like to sleep simply because I dream. And i sleep very few. mayb bc i hate myself? I still barely indulge in life. I do anything to stay distracted. If i think, it all goes to shit. it all does. like now. Heh. it´s funny. I guess no one is truly my ene, because no one actually knows how mentally fucked up i got these past months. No one knows how badly i´ve been treating myself and how badly i´ve been doing. Still, i can´t tell anyone but scream it into the tumblr void. No one has to keep up with my shit. No one has to take care of me. After all, it was I who chose solitude. It was me who kept them away. But I don´t get a second choice. I don´t get a change of routes if things go sour. And i guess I don´t get to get a mentally fucked up friend group where I belong for a second time. Once was good enough, wasn´t it? I.. Even when I wasnt as deep as i am now (again) into kagepro, ive always wanted to die on August 15. It holds meaning to me now as well. Every year I used to ask people to go out with me that day. I know im not brave enough to kill myself. I always hoped for a lil miracle i guess. Last year was the first year...I didn´t do anything. I just... I just hope this year i can make it. I hope the miracle happens this year....I can only hope......its too late for me to be saved, isn´t it? I never thought it´d be like this. I don´t get closure. I don´t get goodbyes. I am left behind on a world that keeps moving. I am nothing.

#long post #hinatalks #we live in a society #fr fr #when i die....if god is real..i´ll end this once and for all. all of it #i am left with nothing but pain and anger.... i cant even feel anymore. i think i forgot how to

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rai-scutum · 4 years ago

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Tagged by @starlit-serenade

Interview tag

Tags will be coming soon

Name/nickname: Ayto

Pronouns: She/They

Star sign: Taurus

Height: 5’2/157.5 cm

Time: 6:15 pm

Birthday: May 13, hooray you now have my birthday

Nationality: USA

Favorite Bands/Groups:

Non-Kpop - Coldplay, Imagine Dragons, there are more I just can’t think right now

Kpop - uhhh... let’s just say check my bias/Stan list

Favorite Soloists:

non-kpop - Corrine Bailey Rae, Alicia Keys

kpop - AleXa, Chungha, Sunmi, Woodz

Song stuck in my head: oddly enough, a mash of Ender’s War and Maze Runner Finale and then occasionally parts of Blue Flame - Astro

Last movie you watched: Detective Pikachu

Last show you binged: uhhhh I think it was Pacific Rim: The Black or Merlin

When you created your blog: 7/22/2016

Last thing you googled: uhhhh I don’t remember

Other blogs: one secret side blog that like one person knows, my old writing @squishydoesstuff and my old urls

Following: a lot, I spree follow with my hyper fixations and then never go through and clean them out

Followers: 225

Average hours of sleep: 5

Lucky number: 18

Instruments: flute and guitar

Currently wearing: jeans and a hoodie

Dream job: honestly, I wanted to be a Broadway actor but realistically I’m going to be an engineer

Dream trip: hmmm... maybe the Maldives or Thailand or the Netherlands I don’t really mind as long as I’m with friends

Favorite food: there’s this one really specific gluten-free ramen recipe that is one of the best things I’ve had or my own pasta that I make sauce and stuff from scratch

Favorite song: excluding musicals rip

non kpop: s.l.u.t. - Bea Miller, Lost Boy - Ruth B, there’s a lot more musical ones but then it would get way too long

kpop: blue rose - up10tion, I.L.Y - the rose, Dejavú - NU’EST W, Promise - ATEEZ, Back to U - NCT 127

Top three fictional universes you’d like to live in: Carve the Mark, (not to be that person but) Star Trek, and hmmmmmm give me a second to think I’m in rehearsal

#tag games

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heretyc · 5 years ago

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correct words and grammar for your fics + common mistakes. [+ formal and informal writing]

Spelling mistakes are common and every writer makes them. It’s life. C’est la vie.

But sometimes, you might genuinely not know a certain word, or how to use a specific word. Well, buckle up pal cause I’m here for you. I didn’t get honours in English, TWICE, for nothing.

...cause you know i fancy u [fails at replicating the dances moves]

They’re - short for “they are”

ex: “have you listened to that new group? they’re great tbh.”

Their - a possession

ex: “oh, they left their sweater here.”

There - a place

ex: “hey, let’s go over there.” | “i heard it’s great there, although it rains sometimes.”

You’re - short for “you are”

ex: “YOU’RE BREATHTAKING!”

Your - a possession.

ex: “that book is yours? you have good taste.” | “your emotions matter too.”

‘ - if that is within a word, it is likely there is a word following after. SOUND IT OUT and TEST IT before you insert it to make sure it’s grammatically accurate.

examples;

it’s = it is

that’s = that is

you’re = you are

There is, sometimes, exceptions to this.

An example of an exception could be “Who’s”, which is short for “who is”.

‘Whose’ is its cousin and is a confusing word to some. Whose is a pronoun accompanied by a question, such as “whose phone is this?”

That is where it is confusing.

You could also say “who is the owner of this phone?”, but Whose is like that cousin who is lazy as fuck and gets straight to the point. If that makes sense.

If you use in correctly, the sentence might look like this:

who is phone is this?

Unfortunately, “who’s” means “who is”, and of course the ‘is’ is implied.

Like I stated above, if you use Whose in a sentence, sound both that and “who’s” and see which one sounds better. If you’re unsure, ask a friend or use Grammarly.

Too - in addition to something, or is a higher and undesirable degree.

ex: oh, he’s coming too?

ex: you’re speaking too fast....slow down.

To - has multiple uses, but also used for expressing motion or direction toward a point, person, place, or thing approached and reached, as opposed to from.

ex: we’re going to havana for a month.

Two - the letter 2.

ex: it’s been two years since we’ve been together. holla!

Here - to be in a place; a specific spot

ex: we’re here.

ex: come here, I need to tell you something.

Hear - to hear something

ex: did you hear what that guy said? he said you were cute.

ex: i hear music.

Heard - past tense of hear

ex: i heard the craziest thing today...

Herd - a group of animals

ex: look at that herd of deer.

|Common mistakes I see in fanfics. Both regarding incorrect information and incorrect words.|

Latter Vs Ladder.

A ladder is something you climb. Latter means to select a last option, or a second option when given choices.

LATTER:

“You can either break up with her or talk it out, but if I were you, I’d choose the latter.” [2 choices]

“You have 3 options. Take medication for the headaches, go home, or go to the hospital. I’d choose the latter, if I were you.” [multiple choices]

Choke Vs Chock.

A chock is a wedge placed against a wheel to prevent it from moving. Choke is where your windpipe is blocked off. This is common when you choke on food.

CHOCK:

“Hey, can you pass me the chock? I need to work on my car but the wheels won’t stop moving forward.”

CHOKE:

“He choked on his words; he could feel the embarrassment, and right now he’d give anything to crawl in a hole and suffer.” | “She could feel the piece of food get stuck in her throat. She began to choke, and in a panic, held her throat while trying to resolve the issue herself.”

Fourth Vs Forth.

Fourth represents Four/4 in a sequence. It’s an adjective. Forth means to move onward.

FOURTH:

“You’re the fourth person to come in today.” [number]

FORTH: “Come forth, towards my throne.” [to move onward]

A vs An.

Both of these kick my ass. Like, they grow fucking legs and kick me in the ass as I write.

“A” is used before words starting in consonant sounds and “an” is used before words starting with vowel sounds.

I had to grab the above from Google because THEY ARE KICKING ME IN THE ASS SO HARD RIGHT NOW. WHY MUST YOU BOTH BE SO CONFUSING SOMETIMES? WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT?

“Well, that’s a shame.”

AN:

“That’s an unfortunate turn of events.”

MY SCREAMING AS I WRITE THIS:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Cervixes and their existence.

I’m just like you; I read smut fics for practice and to see how those talented bastards do it because I blush like crazy when trying to write it.

But I’ve seen a lot of “his pp was so big it kept slamming into my womb/uterus!”

Unfortunately, this is inaccurate. As hot as it would be to have a dick slamming your womb to bloody chunks, that would mean your cervix is basically useless.

The cervix is a small hole made to protect your womb and your uterus. If your cervix was big enough to fix a bigass penis it would be ineffective. Especially if you’re into the pregnancy sex. Your kid will have brain damage [depending on how your child is placed in the womb] rofl

More info here provided by Google,

“The cervix plays vital roles in the control of movement into and out of the uterus, protection of the fetus during pregnancy, and the delivery of the fetus during childbirth. The cervix makes up the lower one-third of the uterus and its tissues are continuous with the tissues that make up the rest of the uterus.”

Continue your smuttiness, but don’t expect it to be accurate if your cervix is suddenly letting a penis invade your innards.

Accept Vs Except Vs Expect.

Accept is to find an explanation to be accurate and to accept it, or to accept a gift.

Except is to exclude something. Can also be used as a conjunction.

Expect is to regard something that will likely happen.

ACCEPT: “Will you accept my confession?” [to accept an explanation or similar] | “Did you accept my gift? I thought of you while picking it out.” [to accept a gift]

EXCEPT:

“All fruits are good, except for oranges. Too sweet.” [to exclude something] | “I told him everything, except he got mad and he stomped away before I could tell him about...you know...” [a conjunction]

EXPECT:

“Oh, my boyfriend is coming over. Expect him at the door in an hour.” [to regard something]

When you hear informal and formal wording, you might picture words in fancy formal suits at a cocktail party.

...No? Just me? Okay.

Now, lemme give you a few sentences, and tell me which ones look best in a fic. I’ll be using my characters’ names cause I can’t think of ones off the bat rofl

“Soren is feeling sad. He can’t believe his friend said that about him behind his back.”

“Soren’s current mood could be considered a combination of humiliation and sadness. His friend really had no right to say that about him, and especially behind his back.”

“Cassiel looked happy when he was at the beach.”

“Cassiel’s face held joy as he felt the sand between his toes, and the sweet heat of the sun against his pale skin.”

Picked the best ones? Well good for you!

The first and third sentences have informal wording, while the second and fourth have formal, as well as relevant detailing.

This is, obviously, very helpful information for English class cause the teachers slurp the fuck out of formal wording in there. They moan, too.

Let me tell you something that I live by:

SYNONYMS ARE YOUR BEST FRIENDS.

Can’t find a good, formal word for “sadness”? SYNONYMS, BABYYYY

Can’t find a formal version of “good”? SYNONYMS, WOOOOOOOO

The BEST website for this is my absolute favourite. I married this fucking website. BYE VAL SEE YOU NEVER! [...sorry val bby i don’t mean it :( *i smooch val*]

Here it is, my friend: Thesaurus.com

You’re cheating on Synonyms, because this website is your best friend too. Except the website is...the mother of synonyms...oh god. Awkward.

That site is your GOD when regarding writing and learning new words to insert into your fics!

This is the end. For now. I hope this helps you.

My fingers hurt after this, btw. Irrelevant but...yeah.

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hasty-touch · 6 years ago

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Southern* Eorzea NPC count

After making an exhaustive count of all Ishgardian NPCs in FFXIV for my Ishgard lore compilation, I started counting NPCs in the other city-states of Eorzea too, just for fun. Here’s my findings as of February 2019.

(* This count currently excludes Ishgard for reasons I’ll get to in a moment.)

“Methods”, such as they are

This is a count and analysis of “targetable NPCs” -- NPC mobs -- in Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn and expansions.

As I play, I go through zones and add every NPC I can find to a spreadsheet, noting the race, clan and gender they use for their model, plus their national affiliation and their profession (if I’m able to judge what these are). I can easily include all the NPCs that are always present in a zone just by going from one end of the zone to the other. I also add NPCs who only appear during quests, duties, and FATEs as I see that content.

Unselectable NPCs who appear in the background as flavor aren’t included. NPCs given generic names (e.g. “Chocobokeep”) were counted. Infinitely respawning NPCs from FATEs and duties aren’t included (since it’s hard to judge how many “there really are”). Speaking-role NPCs who only appear in cutscenes are included. Really important, named historical figures who don’t appear in-game were included in the Ishgard count, so they’ll probably be included here too, but I haven’t entered any yet.

This count currently includes 1247 NPCs of Gridanian, Ul’dahn, Lominsan, and Ala Mhigan nationality. The first three city-states have about 350 NPCs each, and Ala Mhigo about 200.

Ishgard is currently excluded because my Ishgardian count included 650+ NPCs, and the unique demographics of Ishgard would throw off the totals. When/if I reach 500+ NPCs for the main three city states, I’ll add the Ishgard count to this spreadsheet.

Currently, independent or semi-independent tribes within Eorzea -- such as the U tribe in Southern Thanalan -- are not included in this count, but I’d like to add them soon.

Limitations

Because NPCs are hand-counted, you should keep in mind that there’s a possibility of selection bias. For the total numbers, I’ve tried to mitigate this as much as possible by entering all NPCs of a zone or quest at the same time.

Selection bias is potentially even more of a problem when I assign nationalities and professions to NPCs. I feel I do a pretty accurate job judging NPCs by their dialogue and outfits, but it’s possible for me to have missed characters or incorrectly assigned them.

And, of course, these are not exhaustive, unlike the Ishgard count. It’s possible that as I count more NPCs, the trends will change. But, when I went from about 150 NPCs per nation to the current 350 NPCs, the ratios really didn’t change much, so I’m fairly confident we can call these numbers representative.

For the gender analysis, I put all characters with “female” models and/or she/her pronouns into “female”, and all characters with “male” models and/or he/him pronouns into “male” (and characters with ambiguous models and unspecified pronouns into “other”). This is a capitulation to the limitations of the game, which uses unisex models for “beast tribes” and two binary gender models for PC races. In “reality”, just as there must certainly be mixed-clan and mixed-race Eorzeans, there must also be a varied spectrum of genders among Eorzeans -- but this can’t be easily represented with the models available in the game. So what I’m analyzing here is “what the game shows us”.

All that out of the way, let’s look at some nation-specific numbers!

Gridania

Encyclopedia Eorzea vol. 1 numbers: 40% Midlander Hyur, 30% Wildwood Elezen, 10% Duskwight Elezen, 10% Keeper of the Moon Miqo’te, 10% Other

I did include the adventurers at Buscarron’s Druthers in this count, since they seem to live semi-permanently in an area under Gridanian sovereignty, but I’m not totally sure about that call.

Not shown here: of the 26 conjurers I've counted so far, 61.5% use female models. “Conjurers” is one of the few professional categories where female model characters outnumber male ones. The other categories are “arcanist”, “culinarian”, “server”, and “skywatcher”.

Ul’dah

Encyclopedia Eorzea vol. 1 numbers: 30% Midlander Hyur, 10% Highlander Hyur, 40% Dunesfolk Lalafell, 10% Hellsguard Roegadyn, 10% Other

EE1 does not include [Ala Mhigan] refugees. I did include refugees living in the capital -- some of them have been living in Ul’dah for more than 20 years -- though Little Ala Mhigo’s residents (not Blades/Flames) I put in the Ala Mhigan category.

As mentioned, I did not include independent tribes in the region, such as the U.

In the count, Ul’dah’s military tends more male than any other Eorzean city-state other than Ishgard (which is currently sitting at 79.6% male). Some of the missing women are in Longhaft’s unit and appear in the Attack on Highbridge FATE chain -- I didn’t count them because they’re infinitely respawning.

Limsa Lominsa

Encyclopedia Eorzea vol. 1 numbers: 40% Sea Wolf Roegadyn, 20% Plainsfolk Lalafell, 20% Seeker of the Sun Miqo’te, 10% Midlander Hyur, 10% Other

Limsa Lominsa is the most racially diverse nation in the count. It also comes the closest to equal gender representation -- my theory is that this is because the high number of Miqo’te (almost all female model) balances out the other races, where male-model NPCs predominate.

Most of the “other” gender slice there are Qiqirn of gender indeterminate to me.

Ala Mhigo

Encyclopedia Eorzea vol. 1 numbers (repeated in vol. 2 with no change): 60% Highlander Hyur, 10% Hellsguard Roegadyn, 10% Midlander Hyur, 10% Seeker of the Sun Miqo’te, 10% Other

Something that I find interesting is that the gender ratios are really close for both overall and the Resistance specifically (at the moment, the Resistance is even slightly nearer equal!) I thought that this was because so many of the Ala Mhigans we meet are part of the Resistance, but it’s actually “just” 44%.

I didn’t count the M, Qalyana, or Vira.

Discussion

While the race numbers are interesting, I think the gender numbers really draw your eye. Like I rambled in my last post, there are a couple different reasons male-model NPCs might outnumber female-model NPCs.

Perhaps it is unintentional -- that is, the devs intend to be adding male and female NPCs in roughly equal numbers, but for some reason, they haven’t. If this is the case, I’d guess the most likely culprit is the tendency for people (especially men) to perceive a mixed-gender group as “equal” when men substantially outnumber the women and as “female-dominated” when the actual numbers begin to approach equality. In an interview with NPR, Geena Davis said she read a study that found "if there's 17 percent women, the men in the group think it's 50-50. And if there's 33 percent women, the men perceive that as there being more women in the room than men." I haven't been able to figure out what study this is (I REALLY WANNA READ IT! -- but in the meantime this and this also talk about the phenomenon) but if we consider its assertion reasonable, you can totally imagine the zone designers looking at a 1:3 female:male ratio and think “we’re doing GREAT!”

And I mean, I don’t have competitor games’ numbers in front of me, but I’d bet that FFXIV is a lot closer to equal gender representation than most of them. Under-representation of women in video game worlds is by FAR the norm.

But it could very well be that the FFXIV devs are intentionally putting more male NPCs into the world. One possibility is that Eorzean culture is somewhat patriarchal (and that this is more or less pronounced depending on the particular nation-state). Public-facing roles, such as those of merchant, tradesman, and especially warrior, more frequently belong to men than women, while women are more frequently in roles that the Warrior of Light doesn’t encounter in-game (housewives, farmers, etc.). Male dominance of these roles may at times be overtly enforced, but subtle enforcement seems more likely to me, in the form of stereotyping, discouragement, covert discrimination, etc. And the devs/writers are communicating this aspect of the world to us through the NPCs they choose to show us. I feel you can find evidence of Eorzean patriarchy elsewhere in the writing, too -- and it’s not portrayed positively, though there’s room to criticize how skillfully or unskillfully the writers/localizers have handled these themes.

And of course, both these things could be true at the same time: the devs could be intentionally trying to convey something about Eorzean patriarchy to us while simultaneously underestimating how much their own biases, inherited from real-world patriarchy, might affect their perception and choices.

And there could well be other explanations, too.

If you’re interested in Ishgard, the most recent numbers are available in my lore compilation -- if you like the pie charts for visualization, you can take a peek at this older post.

#ffxiv #npc headcounts

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danielleslauter · 7 years ago

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tagged by the lovely @imdyingsquirtlle. Love ya Jercy~!

rules: answer 85 questions, tag 20 people (or however many u want. i’m not the police)

Heck no am I tagging 20 people. I don’t even know twenty people, but I’ll tag @honeybeelily, @idontknowyetlol, @talkativelock, @liaryn, and if anyone else in the #StreamTeam wants to participate. 🏐

the last:

1. drink: Jasmine green tea 2. phone call: I had to call work to make sure my shift was covered because they scheduled me on a day I specifically said I couldn’t work. *rolls eyes into another galaxy* 3. text message: My mom calming me down about my job interview tomorrow. 4. song you listened to: “Clean” by The Japanese House 5. time you cried: Hm...probably last week.

6. dated someone twice: Oh lord, I only did this once years ago and it was a nightmare. 7. kissed someone and regretted it: I don’t think I’ve ever regretted a kiss. 8. been cheated on: First boy I ever dated during the summer of my sophomore year of high school lol. 9. lost someone special: Yes. 10. been depressed: Is “almost always” an option? 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Never. Alcohol isn’t my thing. I also have emetophobia so.

3 favorite colors:

12. Black 13. White 14. Pastel anything

in the last year have you:

15. made new friends: Yes, internet and irl alike!! I love my Stream Team and all my wonderful friends in close proximity to me. 16. fallen out of love: Yep. 17. laughed until you cried: Of course. 18. found out someone was talking about you: I’m sure people are always talking shit about me -just the kind of personality I have. 19. met someone who changed you: Huh...I don’t really think so. 20. found out who your friends are: Sure? 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: Nope.

general:

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them. Facebook is irl exclusive. 23. do you have any pets: No, but my parents just told me I could get a cat and I’m !!!!!! 24. do you want to change your name: Nope, Danielle fits me well. 25. what did you do for your last birthday: Worked out, relaxed at home, and ate cake hahah.

26. what time did you wake up: 7:30 because I had to work today. *cries* 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping for once, thank God. 28. name something you can’t wait for: July 31st so I know if I’m a semifinalist for a writing program. 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: A couple minutes ago lol. 30. what are you listening to right now: Just the white noise of my fan. 31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: My dad’s name is Tom! 32. something that is getting on your nerves: My stomach has been messed up lately, and I think I either have a stress fracture of pulled muscle in my calf/ankle. 33. most visited website: According to my laptop, Google. 34. hair color: So many, haha. My ends are black, from my old color, my natural brown is coming in on top, but I also ran a panel to see how light I could get my hair, so there’s some weird blonde and reddish pieces too, haha. But as a whole, dark brown. 35. long or short hair: Medium, currently. Shorter than I normally have it though, because summer heat makes me hate long hair. 36. do you have a crush on someone: Nope, I don’t have time right now. 37. what do you like about yourself: ...um?

38. piercings: None. 39. blood type: O 40. nickname: Ellie or Ells from my family, Dani from my StuPub family, and my best friend of 18 years calls me D. Oh and Al calls me Dan or Deku. 😂 41. relationship: Single AF 42. zodiac: Aries! (But a Scorpio dominant) 43. pronouns: She/her 44. favorite tv show: Excluding anime? Probably Game of Thrones. 45. tattoos: I have 2, one on my left inner wrist and one on the back of my next. I’m about to get my third one on my spine. 46. right or left handed: Right 47. surgery: None 48. sport: To play? I’m best at volleyball. But I love watching volleyball, baseball, and basketball. 49. vacation: My last vacation was going to Japan a few months ago, but I’m going to SF to run a 10K next month! 50. pair of trainers: I love my Nike cross-training shoes I just bought -perfect for weightlifting.

more general:

51. eating: Nothing, but I had oatmeal and yogurt for dinner lol. 52. drinking: That same jasmine green tea from earlier. 53. i’m about to: Go to sleep. 54. waiting for: Didn’t you ask me this? July 31st! Or to get this job interview over with. 55. want: More stability. Life is pretty chaotic right now. 56. get married: If I meet the right person, yes! 57. career: Something creative and/or with writing that gives me some sort of fulfillment.

which is better:

58. hugs or kisses: Depends on how I’m feeling. 59. lips or eyes: Always eyes. 60. shorter or taller: I’m taller than most everyone, but I love dating people taller than me. Smol friends are great though. 61. older or younger: I want the innocence of youth with the stability and wisdom that comes with old age. 62. nice arms or nice stomach: Gimmie that 6-pack. But I’m a sucker for beefy biceps. Also boys with thighs are my weakness. (Not an option, but still.) 63. hookup or relationship: ALWAYS relationship. Hookups are messy. 64. troublemaker or hesitant: I’m both, depending on the situation.

have you ever:

65. kissed a stranger: Ew no. 66. drank hard liquor: Yep, vodka (bleh) and whiskey (yum). 67. lost glasses/contact lenses: I don’t need either, but I’ve lost sunglasses. 68. turned someone down: Yeah, a few times. 69. sex on the first date: NOOOOOOO. 70. had your heart broken: Of course. 71. been arrested: Nope. 72. cried when someone died: Yes. 73. fallen for a friend: Unfortunately, and it turned out badly.

do you believe in:

74. yourself: Sometimes. 75. miracles: Sort of. 76. love at first sight: I don’t know, STOP MAKING ME FEEL EXISTENTIAL AT MIDNIGHT. 77. santa claus: I used to! Haha. 78. kiss on the first date: Why not? 79. angels: In the biblical sense, yes.

other:

80. eye color: I have boring brown eyes, but I love ice blue eyes. 81. movie: As in a favorite movie? Jurassic Park.

And the phantom other 4 questions are...? Oh well, congrats, you made it to the end!

#danielle's thoughts #danielle answers #personal

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megades-sweet-darkness-delight · 8 years ago

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ECLIPSA IS DISABLED!!!!!! (AND CUTE!!!!! ♠ ♿️💜😈💋♠❤) [EDITED FOR MORE READER ACCESSIBLITY]

I SENT AN ASK TO @breastforce A WEEK AGO, HOPING IT WOULD GAIN TRACTION WHILE I DIDN’T HAVE THE ENERGY TO POST MY WANTS AND NEED FOR (more) WHEELCHAIR USER REPRESENTATION IN THIS SHOW AND FANDOM AND HOW I REALIZED ECLIPSA WOULD BE THE PERFECT CANDIDATE FOR IT, I WAS ORIGINALLY GOING TO TAG @breastforce, @marcodiazisatransgirl and @starbutterflyisautistic in my post addressing it to help spread the idea and gain more traction,since I love their ideas and representation they’ve created for themselves within the fandom and this has nothing to to do with anything but like, after ‘Girls Day Out’ I just got really pissed, for all the love these random side characters get, that nobody in general was drawing or even talking about Toby, or how Star vs. The Forces of Evil was the first children’s cartoon in an entire decade to, not only have a wheelchair user in their storyline, but also be the only wheelchair user on a children’s cartoon in an entire decade have their wheelchair users storyline not revolve around educating abled bodied people. While also having that character be BLACK. #DisabilityTooWhite (even in cartoons)

And afterwords, everyone was just all: Oh. That Episode Was Cute. :) I Guess. :) Nothing to write home about tho. :) Just Cute Fun Filler Fluff! :3 No Big Deal. :))) JUST WISH SOMETHING BESIDES FILLER WOULD HAPPEN FOR ONCE NEFCY, LOL!!! XD

MEANWHILE, MY CRIPPLED ASS IS OVER HERE, REWATCHING ALL OF TOBY’S SCENES AND PRAISING MY FAERIE GODMOTHER HAHA TOM I KNOW YOU HATE PHYSICALLY DISABLED PEOPLE BUT I FOR ONE AM HAVING A MOMENT!!!! (also, can i just kinda.... give bonus for like, having a joke about parking spots but like, later making a point to show the person who actually needs it EXISTING??? Without having them be the butt of that joke because like... good writing???) So, after I’m done crying my happy tears about all this, I start thinking that the only thing that could make this even better is if the show featured another wheelchair user who was a girl... Cause aside from this bitch who’s name I had to look up from The Wild Thronberry’s, all the major wheelchair users have been boys. Then “Into The Wand” came out... and in my obsession with Eclipsa’s Tapestry I had an Epiphany ... THAT ECLIPSA IS THE ONLY QUEEN....

WHO’S SITTING DOWN.

AND THEN

I START THINKING ABOUT WHAT WE ALREADY HAVE. AND MY HEAD CANON MAY NOT BE A “THEORY” (bc in the case of wheelchair users we .... can’t exactly have coding the best we get is a cane your theories are still valid and needed and important an’ I wouldn’t have the courage to post this if it wasn’t for you I love you guys I’m so sorry .... ^ ^; <3 OX) BUT MY POINT IS

AFTER TOBY BEING IN A WHEELCHAIR IN CANON..... AND STAR BEING AUTISTIC IN FANON NOBY CAN TELL ME NO ... ;)

IF A WANTED MY #DISABLEDQUEENOFDARKNESSS

#STARVSTHEFORCESOFABLEISM #ECLIPSAISDISABLED #DISABLEDQUEENOFDARKNESS #DRAWHERSITTINGDOWN

(The rest of this post will be put under a “READMORE” and been de- italicized, de-highlighted and de-bolded as above, for reader convenience)

AND PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DRAW HER FAT TOO SINCE EVERYONE AND THIER 9th GREAT GREAT GRANDMOTHER IS COMPARING HER TO CHERRY WHO IS OBVIOUSLY ECLIPSA’S 9th GREAT GRANDMOTHER

ALSO DRAW HER WITH HER LOVER WHO’S NAME IS GRIMALKIN AND THEY ARE NON-BINARY AND USE ZE/ZIR PRONOUNS BECAUSE SOMEBODY NEEDS TO CARE ABOUT MY BABIES FOR OTHER THAN HOW OR IF THEY FUCKED, WHO THEY’RE RELATED TO BECAUSE OF THAT, AND AND IF THEY’RE EVIL.

🎵 GONNA GET A LIL’ GRIM GONNA GET A LIL’ DARK, DONE LARKING ROUND’ HERE, FLEEING THE MEWMAN DIMENSION 🎵 See? You know you love #GrimDark, just like you love my #DisabledQueenOfDarkness head-canon and now you have a ship name to post content in so you can stop causally forgetting the big ugly monster when you draw her, and don’t worry about how the chair effects their relationship, it’s not like Ze wouldn’t need to kneel down to her to get on her level anyway, and in the words of Margo Diaz, the ship name itself is meant to be ironic humor on the shows nature, since I suppose people want Star Vs. to be more “GRIMDARK” I mean ...when I realized that short version of Grimalkin would be “GRIM” and Eclipsa is the (DISABLED)Queen of (DARK)NESS so it’s perfect, no? Move over S/T/A/R/C/O and moontoffee this couple deserved all the attention AGES is ago, and for those of you already comparing the dreaded(CO)Couple to this one since ‘Baby’ I made the the Monster Lover Non-Binary and use ze/zir pronouns, since Margo is Trans and “Grimalkin” is traditionally the name for an old female cat who is commonly a companion of witches. You’re welcome.

Also, I’ve decided that Grimalkin is a Cheshire Cat/My Neighbor (Totoro) based Ancient Species called Ches(SIRE) not really sure how to spell this right yet but u know how it’s supposed to to sound in ur head, right? ^^; That basically zir job is Guardian of The Spooky Forbidden Dark Forest Just Outside of Mewni TM and to protect other creatures and Monsters from the Mewmans and Demons who want to kill them; i.e, Zie hunt and kill the demon who want to kill the unicorn for their blood and demons are actually zir primary food source living in the forest and when you eat a demon you absorb their power (hence zir horns and size) and sometimes, more often than not, zie nurse the creature/monster who was being hunted back to health, should they be hurt (hence the SIRE part) cause like, Totoro, there’s a condition on if you can see them: If your heart is dark. So yeah, Grimalkin The Forest Guardian, feel free to recreate the Totoro poster now bc I just realized Umbrellas

Just make sure to draw Eclipsa in her wheelchair when you do!!!! ^ ^ <3 When I sent this ask to Red however, it was because, with all the bombs coming down after ‘Baby’ it was because I felt as though I was... well running out of time, so to speak ....

(CLOSE UP)

[CAPTIONED]:

How amazing foreshadowing would it be though after Toby and everything, if Eclipsa were actually a wheelchair user too and all the Past Queens of Mewni had different disabilities? And we had fan content to reflect that too like Autistic Star and Princess Margo? I'm making a post about it but like #DisabledQueenofDarkness & CpunkPastQueensofMewni should be a thing and after todays ep, I wanna get it goin' b4 Eclipsa is probs gonna get revealed to be abled bodied. Post for ppl to reblog?^ ^; ♥

So I asked @breastforce (Red) to post that specifically so that people (the viewer) [her followers] could do one simple thing

The ask has 42 notes not excluding my own like, so surely that means at least HALF those people must’ve REBLOGGED IT to spread the word, right?

Huh ... I see 38 apples with heart shaped holes

A cute baby narwhale in the ocean (who still couldn’t be bothered to reblog tho) @natiacollins <3

And only three people who actually care....

Why did I ask Red to post this ask again? Oh yeah...

And WHAT happened today? I HAVE TO DEAL WITH +5 POSTS THAT SHOW ECLIPSA STANDING UPRIGHT PARALYZED IN ICE AND NOT A PARASOL CANE TO STAND ON (she uses her Parasol/Wand for a cane/to push her chair sometimes, like Autistic Star sometimes bites her wand and uses it for other things, you’re welcome <3)

But LIKE

OH YEAH THAT’S FINE GUYS GIMME A BUNCH OF APPLES WITH HOLES IN THEM AND THEN RUB IT IN MY FACE CRUMBLE MY CRIPPLE PUNK PAST QUEEN OF MEWNI HEART I’M OKAY WITH THE EVENTS THAT ARE UNFOLDING CURRENTLY ....

HER LEGS ARE STILL SCISSORING THAT MEANS I STILL HAVE A CHANCE!!!!!

OR AT LEAST I STILL GOT A........

....GIMP GOAT .......

OKAY NOT TO OFFEND ANYBODY BUT THIS IS HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW....

RIVER IS ME, MY CRIPPLED HANDS REACHING FOR CRUMBS WHILE EVERYONE ELSE GET’S TO ENJOY THEIR RICH REPRESENTATION COATED TREATS BECAUSE THIS CUTE COOKIE CAT I PICKED OUT FOR MYSELF.....

MIGHT JUST TURN OUT TO BE AN ABLED-BODIED ICE POP!

YOU KNOW WHAT? I’M BACK TO BEING A BABY AGAIN BECAUSE THE GOATS NOT GOOD ENOUGH. AND IF PEOPLE CAN’T ADAPT THEMSELVES TO DRAWING “ABLE-BODIED” CHARACTERS IN WHEELCHAIRS LET ALONE MAKE ORIGINAL ONES TO BEGIN WITH, THAT’S NOT OUR PROBLEM.

IS IT, TOBY?

BUT THE GOAT IS GOOD FOR MY NEXT POINT.

SO FAR IN THIS FANON/FANDOM WE HAVE FOUR AUTISTIC CHARACTERS (STAR AND JANNA AND INGRID AND STARFAN13), TWO TRANS CHARACTER (MARGO AND STARFAN13), A CHARACTER WHO’S AN ACTUAL WHEELCHAIR USER IN CANON (TOBY), AND AS OF TODAY, A GAY DISABLED MONSTER CHARACTER WHO IS CODDLED AND DOESN’T WANT TO BE “TAKEN CARE OF” BY THEIR PRIMARY CARE GIVER S/O ANY LONGER AND IS ABUSED BY THEM BECAUSE OF THAT

WHEN THEY TRY TO BE INDEPENDENT

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON FOR ECLIPSA /NOT/ TO BE A WHEELCHAIR USER AND FOR HER LOVER TO /NOT/ BE NON-BINARY. THIS FANDOM HAS THE MOST DIVERSE FREAKING NICHES I’VE EVER SEEN!!!! HECKAPOO! THERE’S NO REASON FOR STAR BUTTERFLY NOT TO BE IN A WHEELCHAIR /AND/ BE AUTISTIC!!!! “Star On Wheels” Hello?! Back when that episode first came out, I remember someone made this disgusting ablest comment about Star “becoming a Paraplegic lolXD” so please draw her in a wheelchair just to spite them!!!! OX <3

And also like .... we have all these old cartoon Grannies in wheelchairs. PLEASE LET ECLIPSA BE THE YOUNGEST ONE!!!! PLEASE LET HER AND THE MONSTER STEAL TOBY’S CHAIR FOR HER TO GET ROUND WHEN SHIT GOES DOWN AND LATER SHE FEELS BAD ABOUT IT CAUSE THEY SCARED THE LIL’ GUY GOOD SO THEY DECIDE TO “ADOPT” HIM AND SING THIS TO HIM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gN-Jl1kFpX0

FUCK TOM AND TOFFEE LET /TOBY/ BE ECLIPSA’S SON?????? AND IT WOULD BE EXACTLY LIKE THAT ONLY NO ONES TRYING TO KILL HIM GRIMALKIN’S JUST CONFUSED AND HE’S TRYING TO GET THE CHAIR FOR ECLIPSA AND IT’S CUTER <3

ALSO GRIMALKIN REFERS TO STAR’S PARENTS AS “BULLY AND MOODY” JUST FOR CLARIFICATION YOU KNOW WHY BUT I’M OBVIOUSLY THE ONLY ONE WHO LOVES THESE CHARACTERS THIS MUCH BC AS FAR AS I KNOW I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS ABOUT THEM (EQUALLY) AS CHARACTERS AND I’M NOT USING THEM AS A PROP FOR MOONTOFFEE OR THINKING ABOUT WHO CAME OUT OF THEM WHEN THEY FUCKED <3

BUT YES, LET ECLIPSA BE DISABLED!!!!! DRAW HER AS A WOMEN IN A WHEELCHAIR!!!!! BECAUSE APPARENTLY DESPITE THE CRIPPLING LACK OF REBLOGS ON THAT ASK... ;) THEY’RE ARE PEOPLE WHO STILL FIND MY NEED FOR REPRESENTATION INTERESTING!!!!!!

SO THAT’S WHY I’M MAKING THIS POST!!!! TO PUT IT OUT THERE WHERE IT WASN’T ORIGINALLY AND START THE TAG. DO IT WITH ME!!!!! #DISABLEDQUEENOFDARKNESS #ECLIPSAISDISABLED #STARVSTHEFORCESOFABLEISM

AND REBLOG THIS POST!!!! I DON’T WANT YOU TO “LIKE” IT JUST REBLOG IT!!!!!!

IF YOU WANNA MAKE IT UP TO ME YOU CAN START REBLOGGING MY ORIGINAL ASK HERE: http://breastforce.tumblr.com/post/156994186895/how-amazing-foreshadowing-would-it-be-though-after BUT FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND GOOD HEAD CANONS PLEASE REBLOG THIS ONE AND HELP GET THE WORD OUT!!!!! SIGNAL BOOST THIS!!!!! NOT ONLY FOR ME BUT FOR OTHER PHYSICALLY DISABLED PEOPLE WHO LOVE STAR VS. TO SEE IT!!!!!! IT’S SUCH A GOOD HEAD CANON AND HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL AND IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME THAT #ECLIPSAISDISABLED AND I HAVE MY #DISABLEDQUEENOFDARKNESS AND THAT ALL THE PAST QUEENS OF MEWNI HAVE DIFFERENT DISABILITIES AND I MIGHT ACTUALLY GET TO CONNECT WITH DIFFERENT DISABLED PEOPLE IN ONE OF MY FANDOMS FOR ONCE. I’M GONNA DO A POST WITH ALL THE PAST QUEENS DISABILITIES SOONY BUT I WANTED TO GET THE #DISABLEDQUEENOFDARKNESS AND #ECLIPSAISDISABLED AND #STARVSTHEFORCESOFABLEISM TAGS TRENDING TOO AND WHO KNOWS IF I’LL STILL HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO THAT TOMORROW....

IT’S NOT CRIMINAL TO BE AN INDIVIDUAL, BUT IT’S ALSO NOT CRIMINAL TO BE A CRIPPLE OR #DISABLEDANDINTODARKNESS OR A #DISABLEDQUEENOFDARKNESS ETHER AND WE NEED OUR REPRESENTATION TOO. ;)

IF YOU REBLOG THIS I’LL LOVE YOU FOREVER. IF YOU’RE ONLY GONNA ‘LIKE’ IT YOU CAN

GET. OUT!!!!!!!!!

AND YOU BETTER REBLOG THIS BECAUSE I WAS UP UNTIL 5:00AM THE OTHER DAY TRYING TO FINISH THIS BECAUSE I FORGOT FRIDAY’S WERE OFF DAYS. NOT GOOD FOR MY SCOLIOSIS. NOT GOOD FOR MY LEGS. PAIN EVERYWHERE. ALL TO EDUCATE YOU. AND I HAD TO CANCEL MY PHYSICAL THERAPY THAT DAY.

THIS MONDAY I GET MY HAND SPLINT AND BRACES PUT ON SO I DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH MORE UNCOMFORTABLE TYPING WILL BE AFTER THAT. THIS MAY BE MY LAST POST FOR A WHILE AND IT’S REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME. ALSO, WHILE WE’RE TALKING ABOUT ORTHOTICS, WHEELCHAIR USERS, AND DISABILITY; ABLED-BODIED PRIVILEGE IS GROWING UP WHEN THE ONLY REPRESENTATION FOR CHILDREN WITH “BRACES” WERE THE ONES PINCHING TEENAGERS MOUTHS, ESPECIALLY IF THERE WAS A WHOLE GODDAMN SHOW ABOUT IT

WHILE YOU WERE SITTING THERE WONDERING WHY YOU AND YOUR BRACED UP, PINCHED UP, BRUISED UP LEGS GOT NOTHING.....

So before I publish this, I just wanna add in the few things I forgot do to tiredness.

ECLIPSA IS STILL TOTALLY GOING TO NEED HER CHAIR ONCE SHE GETS UN-CRYSTALIZED. THE WHOLE ENTIRE REASON SHE’S LIKE THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE IS BECAUSE THE TIME OUT GUY, BEING THE JUDGEMENTAL PRICK THAT HE IS, THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS “EVIL” NOT BECAUSE SHE’S THE QUEEN OF DARKNESS, BUT BECAUSE FROM HIS POINT OF VIEW, SHE WAS “FAKING HER DISABILITY” BECAUSE HE SAW HER GET UP ON HER OWN FOR 5 SECONDS AND TOOK THAT AS AN INSULT TO LEKMET, FREEZING HER ONLY TO AVENGE THE GOATS HONOR. NATURALLY, HER LOVER TURNED SIGNIFICANT OTHER WASN’T TOO HAPPY ABOUT THIS AND CAUGHT ON TO WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED PRETTY QUICK, SO TIME OUT GUY AND LEKMET USED HER TITLE AND ALL THIER “PAST CRIMES” AS A SCAPEGOAT TO KEEP HER THERE, RATHER THAN UN-FREEZE HER AND FACE THE MUSIC.

AND AGAIN, I’M NOT TRYING TO OFFEND ANYBODY BECAUSE I KNOW SHE’S PEOPLES DAUGHTER AND TOBY IS MY SON TOO BUT LIKE, IF STAR VS. WERE ONE OF THOSE CARTOONS THAT TRIED TO DO EPISODES ON HOW PEOPLE IN WHEELCHAIRS ARE “JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE” (THANK GOD THEY’RE NOT .... AT LEAST NOT /YET/) MARGO DIAZ WOULD TOTALLY BE THAT ONE OVER PROTECTIVE ASSHOLE WHO TALKS IN A WEIRD BABY VOICE AND SAYS THINGS LIKE “MAYBE YOU SHOULD SIT THIS ONE OUT....” AND “IT’S FOR YOUR OWN SAFTY...” AND STAR WOULD (PROBABLY) BE THE ONE TELLING HER TO CHILL AND ACTUALLY TREATING THE WHEELCHAIR USER LIKE A PERSON ...

LIKE WHEN ECLIPSA GET’S UN-CRYSTALIZED, SHE IMMEDIATELY FALLS TO THE GROUND LIKE “IT’S OKAY! KITTY CAT OFFENSE GOT ME COVERED!” AND THEN MARGO’S LIKE “AAAH! STAR! YOUR GRANDMA’S FALLEN AND SHE CAN’T GET UP!”

“BUT SHE LANDED ON HER PAL-”

“SOMEBODY CALL ALIVE ALERT!!!!”

“OH, DON’T WORRY PRECIOUS, I ALREADY HAVE SOMEONE WHO’S ON ALERT FOR /MY LIFE/” *PRESSES THE LIL, CRESCENT MOON PENDANT ON HER CREST AND IT STARTS GLOWING* NEXT THING YOU KNOW SHE’S ROLLED OVER ON THE FLOOR....

“OH NO! SHE’S ....! IS SHE HAVING A COUGHING FIT OR A HEART ATTACK? I CAN’T TELL.”

“IT SOUNDS MORE LIKE A GIGGLE FIT OF OMINOUS SHUOJO LAUGHTER... BUT FOR WHAT I DON’T-- AWHNO!!!”

“AWH WHA-?” *STAR GRAPS AT HER HOODIE* “MARGO! WE NEED TO GET HER OUTTA’ HERE! SHE CAN’T WALK OR USE MAGIC, AND ALL MY SPELLS ARE AFRAID OF HER! YOU NEED TO GET YOUR DAD!” AND MARGO GET’S OUT HER DS LIKE “OKAY!” AND ONCE SHE’S OUT OF EARSHOT, ECLIPSA SAYS TO STAR IN HER PERFECT COCKNEY ACCENT LIKE “AWWHH, WOTS’A MATTA’, CAKEPOP?! YOU DON’ WONNA STAY’ ER’ AN’ WAIT WIT’ GRANNY TA’ MEET YER’ POPPOP?!

AND STAR’S ALL ANNOYED AN’ GRUMBLY LIKE “/STEP!/ POPPOP! Myevilstep-poppop...”

And that’s when Eclipsa gets 100% serious and her tone get’s kinda sad and soft like “ So because ze stepped in and zir part demon, zir just evil and an accessory for ‘Bad Girls’? Like those Scissors?”

And Star’s like “HOW DID YOU-” but then Margo comes back with her mom and dad following and Rafael scoops Eclipsa off the floor and she’s like “Ooooo, Angie! Your husband is so strong ... Wait’ll you meet mine!” And Angie’s like “HAHA THANKS!” *whispers to Margo* “Howdoessheknowournames?”

Rafs all insecure like “Whoisherhusband?”

“IdontknowMomandDad...I.Dont.Know......”

Then later, they have her settled on the couch with a warm blanket and a hot cup of tea, Margo realizes Eclipsa has a permeant disability but still doesn’t trust her (thinking she’s faking, putting on some cliche act) so she just drops the bomb of “LOOK .... I know you’re a Granny and all, but ....aren’t you a bit too YOUNG to be disabled?”

And without missing a beat, right in front of her parents, Eclipsa just grins and goes “Aren’t you a bit too young to have lived 30 years of your life in an alternate dimension and have the mark of Heckapoo, JENNIFER RINK? ;3 ” and goes right back to sipping her tea.

“....30 /WHAT/?!”

“....... Mark of /WHO/???!!!”

“OH!” *ECLIPSA PUTS DOWN HER TEA USING HER SPOON LIKE A WAND IN THE AIR* “IT’S ‘HECK-A-POO’. HECKAPOO!”

*Raf gets sidetracked seeing her do a lil’ magic with her tea spoon when her eyes start to glow* “I’m sorry if this is invasive to ask, Mrs. Eclipsa, but ... Can you shoot lasers out of your eyes like these puppies?”

Margo’s still horrified. “STAR. HOW DOES SHE KNOW THESE THINGS????!!!??”

Star’s just like “ CAUSE GRANDMA’S KNOW, JENNIFER! Grandma’s know!!!”

Eclipsa’s like “That’s my girl.”

“But Queen Eclips- ...GRANNY! You never answered Mr. Diaz’s question!”

*sips tea* “The answer is that I most certainly can, Star.”

“AAAWH YIIII-”

*takes another sip of tea before adding* “But I only use my laser powers in the most EXTREME of emergencies.”

“Awwh.”

*Finally finishes tea and there’s a flash of light and Eclipsa appears to be gone before Star feels something warm and fuzzy curled up on her lap * “Unless ... Anyone would like to see what I look like as a laser kitty? :3″

“AAAAAAAAAWWHH!!!!”

CONCEPT: THE “TIE” AROUND ECLIPSA’S WASTE IS ACTUALLY A FASHIONABLE BACK BRACE MADE TO LOOK LIKE A PART OF HER DRESS. IT HELPS HER STAND UP BETTER.

And I WILL make a post for all the Past Queens disabilities, it’s just I came up with a cute little pun for mine and I don’t feel comfortable making Mewni style puns for other peoples disabilities... ^ ^; So when I make that post the disabilities will just be listed as they are on Earth and #STARVSTHEFORCESOFABLEISM seems like a better catch all, since the term “CPunk” was coined by somebody else and means a very specific thing... ^ ^;

But Eclipsa’s disability is called “Celestial Purrsy” (a play on my own disability, Cerebral Palsy) and it basically means she has all the advantages/disadvantages of a cat ... ^ ^; It’s taken as a birth defect by the Mewmans because she looks like she has DNA from different dimension? ^ ^; Like this is gonna sound kinda morbid and dark but they suspect she’s a “changeling” and that the alternative version OF Eclipsa (like the one of Star we see in “MathMagic”)

Somehow replaced/possessed the “REAL” one at birth because she was born with her little kitty eyes/mouth

and paws

Which she’s been made to cover up since birth in order to look more like a “normal” mewman , like think of the old wives tale of cats stealing babies breath and the dreaded dimension of Star vs. where cats have human faces, on Mewni there’s basically this old wive tale of “Mewmans who have cat faces” and if they’re born that way it’s Bad Luck because they’re “The Cat Who Snatched The Mewmans Body” and that’s what they think happened to Eclipsa. That’s why they call her “Eclipsa” because they think “a dark shadow was cast over their baby” A “Fairy Godmothers curse” (The character of ‘Baby’ is actually described as “Star’s Fairy Godmother”in wikipedia summary. So maybe they think Eclipsa’s cursed with a cat face because the Fairy burped on her or or something AND THAT’S WHY THEY HATE HER SO MUCH OH MY GOSH. GET IT? AN OLD WIVES ABOUT BABIES BREATH? A FAIRY GODMOTHER CAT NAMED ‘BABY’? OH MY GOSH. They blame things like Eclipsa’s size and her love of food on Baby too, but that’s just another part of the stigma Eclipsa faces because her parents are arseholes.

Eclipsa even went through Mewberty “wrong” because her Mewberty from actually looks a lot like Baby ... And other Mewmans are like “Eeew, what are you? you silly Cat/Bug/Moth thing we’re supposed to be strictly INSECT BASED!!!!”

And instead of “BOYS” all she wanted to do was play with balls of yarn ... She hoarded all the yarn, and then she actually CREATED the “Worlds Most Dangerous Creature” we see in ‘Inter-Dimensional Field Trip’ WITH THE YARN...

For what purpose though, her parents were concerned...

She was basically treated as more of a prized house pet than a mewman, a Familiar meant to serve rather than the Queen she was met to be, and, like Star, she didn’t know basic magic ... As Queen of Mewni, she was a Familiar/Figure head, an “inspiration” to the kingdom more than anything and her husband at the time, a boarder-line powerless Mewman who never left his mewberty form by choice, King Lunar (LOO-NAR) used her for her magic, she was barely allowed to use her wand and the parasol was always opened up and propped on her wheelchair behind her where she couldn’t reach it in order to “shield her from the elements”, as Lunar put it.

They married because he took her out to The Bloodmoon Ball on a pity date, dancing was required according to their parents, and their souls “accidentally” bonded. Just as they intended.

SO you all know cerebral palsy is a muscle thing, right? Well with Eclipsa, her “Celestial Purrsy” is A BIT more exaggerated like someone (Glossaryck) will sneak up on her and she’ll have a muscle spasm, even if she’s prepared for it, but if she’s not wearing her seat belt, she’ll do that kitty thing where she’ll end up clinging to the ceiling, cat noises and everything, and she has those weird ticks that I have where she’ll get a twitch through her body like ....

It’s less pleasant than Jiji’s in the context of that gif, but t that’s the only way I know how to to describe it ... And then Glossaryck tries to get her to relax and “dip down” to try to get her off the ceiling but she just ... can’t do it... not because she’s afraid (it’s just an INVOLUNTARY REFLEX, EVERYONE CALLS HER A “SCAREDY CAT” OR APOLOGIZES AND NOBODY GETS IT...) but because her purrsy effected muscles are so tense and she can’t unclench them cause ...her body is afraid it’ll hurt? ^ ^; So Glossaryck will have to call Lunar to help get her down and he’s part moth, so he’ll like make a big show of like, crawling up the ceiling to get her and he’ll do it extra slow just to freak her out more because he knows that she hates it when she touches her but she can’t show it cause he’s her care giver and her husband and she feels guilty for doubting his love and daring to think he makes her uncomfortable on purpose... yeah marriage problems ... ^ ^; Sorry for creepy imagery ... ^ ^;

Glossaryck tries to talk to Lunar about it and suggests that MAYBE she’ll be more comfortable around him if he actually lets her USE HER WAND... since she hasn’t touched it since she was a teenager and WHO KNOWS HOW HER PERSONALITY HAS CHANGED SINCE THEN ... So Lunar’s like “FINE!!! HERE ECLIPSA!” (he can hand here the wand without effect on him since he doesn’t actually have hands to hold it with... he has feelers and mewberty goop... so everything just kinda... latches on to him all sticky ..... yeah, sorry for nightmare fuel again) Aaaaaaanndd we get our first glimpse of our Queen of Darkness then, wardrobe change and everything (the thorn crown doesn’t come in until she spends more time with Grimalkin and more specifically, when she’s evaluated by Baby and grows her apple tree later, when she’s been living with her Lover, they ask the Fairy Godmother to marry them right there), everyone is surprised by the transformation expect for Glossaryck, who’s like “Somebody’s been suppressing a lot of ANGER ....” *Looks over at Lunar* “Wonder what could be the cause* And then Lunar looks over at Eclipsa who looks about ready to KILL HIM an’ he snatches the wand away as quickly as she had it via his gross Mewberty goop and he’s like “SEE?! All that power is far too dangerous for someone so small look at what just happened! You just turned yourself into a monster when your supposed to be my sweet little muffin!”

Now we get to Toffee’s relation to Eclipsa.... after the whole wand thing happened he was actually (supposed to be) her aid. Cause King Lunar become paranoid of his wife becoming “out of control” and needed someone to “control” her when he wasn’t there because “ (ableism) I’m too busy to be scrapping you off the ceiling every time you have one of your episodes!!!! (ableism)” So .... he tries some of the Mewman staff at first ... But they’re all ether too condescending or just plain afraid of her and don’t even wanna touch her ... and Eclipsa knows this and plays it up to her advantage... So Lunar finally get’s this idea ... And he picks who he deems the most “intelligent” in the ... lizard prison... tells them that they’re going to “Keep an eye on the Queen”, takes them to Eclipsa’s room and Lunar’s like “Okay LIZARD I’m gonna show you what you’re working with here” And it’s just Eclipsa, alone, by herself, eating this big bowl of candy with her gloves off and pawing at the wrappers...

And the lizards like “She looks SLIGHTLY less bored than I am...”

“She’s hysterical ...”

*mumbles* “ComingfromLunarTheLoon....”

“What was that, REPTILE...?”

“Nothing...! Yourbugeyedbenevolence...”

“If you’re so keen on insulting someone today, just make sure you speak to HER in the slowest, weirdest voice possible!”

“....OKIEDOKIEHOPEYOUCHOKIE!!!”

Then the door slams and it’s perpetual “SURPRISE!!!!” voice until Eclipsa goes “Oi Lizzie! You like some tea from all that Buff- frog in ya throat?!”

And then Liz drops the act like “Oh, I don’t eat garbage...”

“Well, had me confused, you are what you eat...”

“And you’re hysterical...”

“Mm. So I’ve heard. But I’m sure the Buff-frogs don’t like hearing their fellow monsters think they’re ‘garbage’. That’s not a very nice thing to say about someone, is it? Even if it is used as an excuse not to eat them.”

“I suppose that’s true... Are you going to strike me now?”

“Why would I strike the hand that feeds me?”

“On days like this, I can think of many reasons, especially if you’re hungry.”

*She edges the bowl of candy over to him* “Please. :3″

“...Thank you....” *Being the ... picky eater that he is, (or making certain it’s not poison) she notices him carefully searching for his favorite candy and laughs when he gathers a handful of it*

“There you go!”

*Mouth already full of Saltwater Toffee* “Whut ...?!”

”I think your name is Toffee! What would you say about that?”

*he looks guilty for all the candy pieces he’s holding in his hands* I’d say that it would suit me, Queen Eclipsa, Thank you!”

“Your very welcome, Toffee! Also, that reminds me, we need to buy you a suit, it’ll look more official when you help me boot out my bugger of a husband! *ironic ship teasing/future ex girlfriend reference bc she later falls for someone who wears no suits at all, CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT*

Toffee can’t help but find this amusing and smilies “You want me to... AIDE you in starting a rebellion against your husband?”

*Eclipsa borrows a piece of his toffee, pops it in her mouth, and grins* “Now look who’s hysterical...”

The very next day, Toffee returns to Eclipsa all beaten and bloodied up. His tail is missing and , he’s pretty much dying. Eclipsa is freaking out...realizing her wand is gone too, doesn’t know what’s going on but has a pretty good inkling of who’s behind it. Next thing you know Lunar comes in all like “Hm. That’s two things that don’t belong to me now, or is it three? You’ll never get your kingdom back.”

And Eclipsa is tears “I don’t care about the kingdom! What did you do to to Toffee?!”

And Lunar throws the tail and the and the wand back to their rightful owners and says “What I could never do to my bugger of a bride!” before slamming the door on them again.

The second he leaves, Eclipsa drops herself out of her chair unto to the floor, crawls over to Toffee, asks him to tell her what she can do to to help him, and he tells her weakly that he’s heard of an ancient being in the dark forest who supposed to heal monsters, Eclipsa’s like “Alright, we’ll go there. Right now.” Takes off her hat and props it under his head, then goes over to her bed to get some pillows, where her book is laying.

Glossaryck pops out and is like “What are you doing?”

“You heard what just went on.”

“You’re going to The Dark Forest to seek Grimalkin.”

“ Gesundheit.”

“No no. Grimalkin is the name of the HEALER. Trust me, if I sneezed, you’d know it.”

“Get away.”

“Eclipsa, I’m you’re teacher and YOU NEED ME.”

“No I don’t.”

“Fine. Be that as it may, I will accompany you on your journey.”

“Why?”

“SATISFACTION BROUGHT IT BACK!”

“...Whatever. Help me pad my chair with these pillows while I lift Toffee up, and hurry.”

“...Maybe if you cast ‘LEVITATO’-”

“I KNOW!!!!”

Toffee protests to taking Eclipsa’s chair but Eclipsa says that right now, he needs it more than she does. “Besides, I have my Gait Trainer, silly Gator!” They secure some rope they got from Eclipsa’s curtains to the chair and Toffee’s under the impression that Eclipsa’s going to tie the other end around her waist and pull him herself, so he objects to that too. He earns some perfect shoujo laughter and a “Don’t be ridiculous, Toffee!” Before giving a sharp whistle and a small usher of rats scurry out from under the bed “I mean, I would if I had to, but there’s no need. Follow Mummy babies!” and just like that they grab a hold of Toffee’s rope and follow her out every door, with to rats stationed in front of her to help open them.

One of the servants asks if they should do something, watching her head towards the dark forest from the window, to which Lunar responds “Nah, curiosity killed the cat.” And the rest is history. Basically because Toffee made her PROMISE to come back and visit him every day because he heard what Lunar had said to her before and was afraid for her at that point. Which Grimalkin allows because he BEGS xem and the Guardian sees how this monster cares for HER. Plus she looks too exhausted to do any real harm at the moment.

Eclipsa promises Toffee that she’ll come back, and she’ll start working on her spells for self defense.

When Eclipsa asks Grimalkin tells her that Toffee’s tail can’t be re-attached, and it could take a while for the other lizard monsters who to live there to teach him how to regenerate, maybe even generations but zie CAN preserve his life. Maybe even raise a new life from the old tail.

When she hears this, and she’s letting it sink in that Toffee almost died, Eclipsa considers making up an immortality spell so she’ll never have to worry about the scare of losing him ever again. Then Eclipsa tells the guardian about the prison and zie promise to see what can be done. Also this happen at some point, after they’re at least on a more friendly/flirty basis ...

“You’re a healer, right?”

“You know what I am.”

”Yeah, well...How come other people don’t know I can’t be cured?”

“Dunno.”

“I mean I know I KNOW...and YOU KNOW, so how come THEY dunno? YA KNOW?!”

”The answer is as mysterious as my origins, Purple One.”

“YOU’RE A PURPLE ONE! Also, your stripes are really pretty!”

“So are your paws.”

“May I feel your pretty stripes with my pretty paws? :3″

“You are MARRIED! Also, I am not purple, I am Magenta.”

“ And I’m Sorry I Asked! ;W;”

Toffee is watching them like “Pfft ... FURRIES!”

When things start getting more intense between them (Grimalkin & Eclipsa) later, Eclipsa tells Lunar over dinner that she wants to make other living arrangements, of course, the tyrannical King laughs in her face. THIS is what leads the Lovers to make arrangements of their own behind the King of Mewni’s back, at least until they can get away, they’re hoping ...

That’s pretty much it, sorry for going into a bit a mini fic mode, I just really wanted to sell the idea of Eclipsa... being a disabled person so that people would actually, you know... want to draw her as such. ^ ^; Since I don’t think it’ll happen at all in the show, twice, although it would be a freaking miracle if it did ... ^ ^;

I’m also sorry for the snobby way that I think some of this post is worded? ^ ^; I’m not trying to play the oppression game with anyone here .... ^ ^; It’s just, people see a character and they think of ways to see themselves.... and anyone can draw a missing eye, limb, or cane as a cool character trait or accessory but absolutely NOBODY (as far as I know) sees a character and thinks “I’m going to draw that “abled-bodied” character in a wheelchair, so people who maybe don’t have the physical ability to create sometimes can see themselves too”. Which is why I think starting a movement along the lines of #DRAWHERSITTINGDOWN, or more inclusively #DRAWTHEMSITTINGDOWN would be SUPER IMPORTANT.

I mean, at least it’s better than saying “cripple the bitch”. Which in retrospect I’m surprised hasn’t been turned into some kind of revolutionary artistic renaissance or reclamation movement made exclusively for disabled artists to draw what disabilities they’ve envisioned for the abled-bodied characters that they adore already (in a way that’s not the result of villainous violence or results in vendetta, unless of of course they’re a villain or simply have a vendetta against our abled-bodied overlords whom oppress us so, that would be an excellent excuse to have those elements included in the explanation of how their disability effects them, like I just did with Eclipsa ).

Because I feel bad and embarrassed because every time I want to see an “abled-bodied” character in a wheelchair, I think of the phrase “cripple the bitch” and then my internalized ablism thinks up some horrible accident they were in order to “make them that way”. Because nobody draws an “abled bodied” character in a wheelchair just because. Unless it’s the disability sign. And we need to start.

STAR VS. THE FORCES OF EVIL IS THE /ONLY SHOW/ WHERE I FEEL COMFORTABLE ENOUGH STARTING IT! AND I /STILL/ FEEL THE NEED TO EXPLAIN /WHY/ I NEED THIS HEADCANON RATHER THAN JUST SAY BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE ANY EVIDENCE OR CODING TO HELP ME. AND I’M AFRAID PEOPLE WILL ETHER HUMOR ME ONCE OR WON’T FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH IT BECAUSE THEY’RE ABLED BODIED. AND WHERE IS TOBY?! IS MY SON STILL IN DETENTION?! I DON’T MEAN TO DISOWN HIM BUT I DESERVE BETTER THAN AN ACTUAL HUMAN SIDE CHARACTER WHO ONLY SHOWED UP ONCE, A GOAT, A WEIRD WEREWOLF GUY, AND

I’m sorry that I feel like I’m playing the oppression olympics right now, like I’m wheeling over eggshells with every word that I type, but I know I deserve better, I really do! I deserve my Disabled Queen of Darkness, Eclipsa. And she and her wheels deserve a spot on Daron Necfy’s Diverse (and I’m not being ironic because I LOVE YOU FAERIE GOD MOM <3) wall of art, along with an actual (and still autistic) Star on Wheels . And so do Eclipsa’s husband and their son, Toby. Like all four in the same picture; a family portrait. That Would Be AMAZING!!! Especially if “Grimalkin” was like, like both Eclipsa AND Toby up on each arm IN THIER WHEELCHAIRS like they were lifting weights like in a “strong man” pose cause they’re arms are definitely big enough to support two manual wheelchairs that weigh virtually nothing them cause they’re so strong and they just ... can.

And Star is parked on the floor in front in her power chair ... with “The Gang” (Trans Marco, Jackie, Tom, Janna and Starfan13) all gathered around her and they’re all just being happy an goofy and Janna’s in Star’s lap, probably. Starfan13 didn’t have enough room so she’s like, squishing Star’s face with her’s in a hug, you know that cute squishy hug face?

Ingrid’s in the picture too, sitting in the monsters arms at Toby’s side holding his hand cause he’s a little nervous that he’ll fall. She wanted to be in the photo too and Grimalkin understood her cause they also speak German and they asked her if she could keep Toby company so he wouldn’t be scared. She said okay, but she’s not giving up her comfort item for nothin’, also it will cost The Queen her guillotine.

Eclipsa’s over on the other arm just lookin’ as chill as ever. Cause she knows that her Lovie would never let her roll off.

That would look PERFECT on Daron’s wall! Hopefully #DISABLEDQUEENOFDARKNESS becomes as popular as other fanon so we can make that happen! Feel to use any of the tags I’ve created to start posting!!! Maybe even said some Disabled Queen of Darkness to Daron!!! (And me of course, if I’ve convinced you that Eclipsa Is Disabled and you want to actively draw her and write her as such please send all your content to me!!! I’d love to see it!!!! <3)

I have other thoughts on the monster themselves, their love for Eclipsa, it’s importance to the entire freaking plot of the series, and the way they’ve been treated in favor of Toffee and Eclipsa herself, like that line about treating the monster lover as an accessory was there for a reason and I’m pissed, but I’ll write up why later because YOU KNOW WHY... and I wanna go ahead and get this posted before the final airs.

I encourage everyone who sees this to reblog this even if they’re not in the Star vs. fandom! Like you can consider this a one fandom/character/headcanon/masterpost thing but I feel like it’s a great way to get the general tags of #DRAWHERSITTINGDOWN and #DRAWTHEMSITTINGDOWN started! Also, REMEMBER: DO /NOT/ USE THE WORD “CRIPPLE” IF YOU ARE NOT PHYSICALLY DISABLED!!!!!

I know using “if” in an apology is wrong but I don’t know how else to word this so ... I’m genuinely sorry if any other physically disabled people reading this are uncomfortable with my usage of the word in this post? ^ ^; It’s just it’s used as a catchall by other people in our community and after finding cpunk, I recently started identifying with the word to help me find other people ... ^ ^; <3 OX

Also people, when you reblog this, please clarify whether or not you physically disabled in the tags in order to help me find other people... ^ ^; <3 OX I’ve never done this before, so words of encouragement and feed back would also be appreciated, and if you said something ... vaguely kind or encouraging before? ^ ^; <3 Know they still are (just now is your chance to reblog ^ ^; <3 OX)

I really would appreciate it if @starbutterflyisautistic and @marcodiazisatransgirl would reblog this too since *themorrison’svoice* YOU GUYS ARE SO COOL!!!!! ❤

And SPEAKING of cool criminal individuals I just want to thank Red for publishing my ask in the first place. She’s helped and inspired so many with the Trans Marco theory and she’s the one who helped me realize I had a basis for my Disabled Queen of Darkness too. Also, she’s the one who inspired the idea of Eclipsa’s husband being some weird bug thing who preferred to stay in their Mewberty stage, “like an invading body snatcher virus took over.” Because it shows some real contrast between some monsters and the mewmans I think, rather than just being some humanoid oppressors afraid of the scary monsters because they “don’t understand”. Because they had this “mewberty” thing happen to them, where they ether “wouldn’t be back to normal”, or they made the conscious decision to stay in or out of it, good or bad, and if they understood exactly what they were doing to the other monsters and enjoyed it because they considered THEMSELVES the“ideal” of what a monster should look like. And then that bad history was erased through centuries of .... literal humanization I just think there’s a bit more to explore through that narrative then having Eclipsa’s former husband be some cliche Gaston stereotype, or even the “well meaning Nice Guy TM who lets the girl go” trope.

And I know that making the Mewman King Eclipsa was married to a tyrant is a bit of a cliche as well, but striping Eclipsa of the powers she’s supposed have because of that, giving Eclipsa a physical disability and have her be oppressed because of that, like Star would be with the autism headcanon... It would kinda level the playing flied between Eclipsa and the Monster a bit because THEY’RE BOTH MINORITIES!!! THEY’RE BOTH OPPRESSED!!!! The Monster a bit more than Eclipsa but still ... the thing common helps them understand each other a bit more and helps this become much more than “ I married my oppressor because I changed them and they changed me” “love” story, because c’mon, so far, the basis for these two finding a connection in these fandom has been “You’re not bad for a ______” AND WE ARE SO NOT DOING THAT WITH WHAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE AN ALLEGORY FOR AN INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIP C’MON ....

And I wouldn’t have thought any of this if it weren’t for Red, she’s our rebel princess, she’s the best, loves the wayward sister in the purple dress, she’s given me the courage to fight, for Heckapoo On Wheels, Disabled Dark Queens and Butterfly’s ....and TOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBBBYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

Okay so I hope that wasn’t too corny but like, seriously, I love you Red!! You are ROCK and are (truly) an inspiring beautiful person who’s fun to be around and I hope this isn’t embarrassing or too much because I know we only ever had contact from that ask, but I owe you so much credit for inspiring me to claim Queen Eclipsa for myself as well as the other Past Queens of Mewni for other people with disabilities because it’s amazing that you and Daron have made me feel comfortable in my own skin enough to do that! I love this show and this little niche fandom of Wayward Princesses SO MUCH and it all means so much to me you have no idea and I am SO GLAD you’re a part of it!!! I’m worried that some of this post as well as that ask was worded with some twinges of jealously ... and maybe that’s why it wasn’t originally reblogged .... because I sounded so ...impatient? But I want you to know that I mean this, un-ironically, from bottom of my heart and I’m not just saying for notes or popularity: You are important. You are loved. You have done so much for the community and so much for me and so many other great things and more than enough things for me to thank you for so you don’t need to feel pressured to reblog this, Red! Just know that I thank you from the bottom of my heart and you’ll continue to do even more, I wouldn’t have known there was an interest in Eclipsa being disabled or have the courage to write this if it weren’t for you!! So Thank You!!! OX ❤

If it’s okay, I just want to link everyone to Red’s Princess Marco and Star vs. Trailer’s since they’re Hecka magical and wonderful, haven’t gotten comments in a while and all you Poo heads should leave some more love for them!!!!! ;) ❤

Princess Marco Trailer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4pYrOO68ys

Star Vs. Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qkjUFB-NcA

Congrats on Trans Marco being canon, everyone! ;) ❤ OX

Well, here I am, 12:50 AM, Monday. The night before they air the final. About to get my hand brace in the morning. About to finally post something that’s been in my drafts for a week, with spelling errors and other things I can’t be bothered to fix, with this post being the best post about Eclipsa that you will ever read. With Eclipsa (probably) about to be confirmed to be the abled-bodied ice pop I was worried about. FANON DON’T FAIL ME NOW!!!!!!! ❤ OX

(Get it...? Cause the saying is? And I’m? Yeah ....Side note about the goat and my sense of humor earlier DO NOT USE THE WORD “GIMP” IF YOU ARE NOT PHYSICALLY DISABLED ETHER, NOT EVEN IF YOU’RE USING THE BADLY NAMED ART PROGRAM TO DRAW ECLIPSA, THANK YOU!)

♠💜😈💋♠ ❤ ALL LOVE ECLIPSA, DISABLED QUEEN OF DARKNESS!!!!!! ♠💜😈💋♠❤

♠💜😈💋♠❤AND MAY YOU ALL .... DRAW HER SITTING DOWN... ♠💜😈💋♠❤

#ECLIPSAISDISABLED #DISABLEDQUEENOFDARKNESS #DRAWHERSITTINGDOWN #STARVSTHEFORCESOFABLIESM #DRAWTHEMSITTINGDOWN

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