#my everything is so stressed out and my brain is like fried

[paranoidkid]

I need something either profoundly delusional or profoundly homosexual to happen to me soon

[floral-hex]

So this is my thing now, I’m afraid to go to sleep. This is kinda bullshit, brain.

[moyokeansimblr]

Moyo's Great Big Afterglow Default Project

HOORAH! 🥳Finally I can share with you guys! There's a lot to get through here so some notes beforehand.

There are way, way too many hairs to list and people to credit. See everything that's included and who all deserves credit in the spreadsheet I made for this project!

Not every hair is replaced! I don't know much about hidden clone hairs, for example. Some of them are replaced if the default I used as a base included them but most probably are not.

I chose to hide a bunch of the OFB hats and whatnot when I was starting to get burnt out of this project. See what hairs I've hidden on the hiders tab of the spreadsheet. Hiders are not included, but there's a link to them.

There's a few defaults I'm using from loosiap, rudhira and seabens. They are not included, see those in the defaults by others tab of the spreadsheet.

I use a bunch of no/random npc hair mods so not all npc hairs are replaced. See those in the no/random npc tab of the spreadsheet.

I use custom turn ons that change the one for hats so a lot of the hat hairs are replaced with non-hat hairs. I think most of the flags in simpe are changed to non-hat too but not positive - some might still be hat flagged.

Defaults where all I did was change the texture that didn't contain extra ages include them in a separate file because I didn't want to add them to the main file and mess anything up. Defaults done by me have them included in the main file.

Nearly every default has extra ages, but a few do not.

The Notes column of the spreadsheet mostly contains notes I wrote for myself regarding the custom versions of hairs I retextured (which will all be uploaded) but some of them do apply to the default too. I'm so brain fried though so I'm leaving it in the sheet. You can generally ignore - or read them if you want!

Defaults are in their own folders, and include a pic of the hair they're replacing and a pic of what they're replaced with...if the kind people on the default database are bored.

I'd never made a default replacement for hair before this so if any of these are not made in the best, most optimal way, apologies. I was learning as I went!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE reach out if you notice any wonkiness. This was worked on over 3 of the most stressful months of my life so I'd not be surprised if I screwed anything up. Also if I forgot to mention anything in this post that you'd like to know, don't hesitate to ask that too!

👒Moyo's Afterglow Default Project download on Patreon (FREE) or on SimFileShare

I hope you enjoy! 😁

@the-afterglow-archive

[anakinstwinklebunny]

older sugar daddy!anakin who's paying for your postgrad, just cuddles you after a long day of studying 😩

TW: none really, just fluff and soft praises cause bunny loves dilf!ani :3

Author's note: I love you, give me more..let your fantasy free. Also, today's my birthday, when it's posted, I'm sleeping (thanks to the queue). But I want to thank YOU for this year. In September, I celebrated without all you knowing probably, my one year on this app. One year. Year ago, I'd not even imagine that one of my dreams would come true - to post MY work, something people will enjoy..you guys made it real and for that I thank you so much! Hugging all 622 of you!!! <3333333

It had been one of those days where nothing seemed to go right. Your brain was fried from the constant cycle of lectures, readings, and assignments. The textbooks in front of you blurred whenever you tried to focus on yet another chapter of dense material, so it was no use.

You felt drained—mentally and emotionally. All you wanted to do was crawl into bed and forget about postgrad for a little while.

The soft click of the apartment door opening snapped you out of your haze. You heard the familiar shuffle of Anakin’s shoes being kicked off, his expensive, cashmere-wool blend coat draped over the chair. Before you even had the chance to look up from your mountain of notes, he was beside you, his presence filling the room with warmth and comfort you so much craved at the moment

"Hey," he greeted quietly, his deep voice gently vibrating in your ear. He could immediately sense the tension around you, see the exhaustion written all over your profile side. Without asking, he leaned down to kiss your burning temple that was heated up from way too much information for one day

Not taking your tired eyes from the whatever you were trying to focus on, your nostrils could pick up the familiar scent of him—clean, warm, with a hint of vanilla and cinnamon

Dear heavens..

"Long day?" he asked softly, his large hand coming to rest on your shoulder, thumb gently brushing the back of your neck. You closed your eyes at the contact - it felt so good, to just being able to feel the all the stress and tension slowly melt down your spine

Well, Anakin's hands were magic. In every way. They could tear you apart, pull you back together and make you beg for more. Yet today, you were way too tired to beg him to do anything

"You have no idea," you sighed, your voice barely above a whisper as you leaned into his touch. “It feels like this coursework is never-ending.”

Anakin’s lips curled into a soft, understanding smile as he tilted his head, studying your tired expression. "You’ve been at it for hours. I can tell." He glanced at the textbooks, notebooks, and laptop scattered around you. It was impressive, to say the least, but even him knew you needed to slow down "You need a break."

Before you could protest, Anakin was already moving. He gently closed your laptop, setting it aside along with your textbooks, making sure they were out of reach so you wouldn’t be tempted to keep working. At first it brought you a quicker heartbeat, to see him just so casually act like it when you still had so much to do “Come here,” he murmured, reaching out to you. "You’ve done enough for today."

Yet, you didn’t hesitate. As tired as you were, the moment he opened his arms, you were drawn to him like a magnet. You slid into his embrace, sinking into his broad chest as he wrapped you up in the warmth of his body.

Your cheek pressed against the soft fabric of his sweater, and you could feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your ear. It was grounding, a gentle reminder that you weren’t alone in all of this. He was here, as he always was, making everything seem a little less overwhelming.

“You’re working too hard, sweetheart,” he whispered, his voice tender as he massaged your scalp before gently threaded his long fingers through your hair, brushing it away from your face. "You need to rest."

You sighed, sinking further into his embrace. Dammit, if he keeps it up, you'll fall asleep "I just want to get through this semester." you confessed

Anakin pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head before his hand moved to caress your back “And you will. You always do.” His voice was filled with quiet confidence, the kind of unwavering belief in you that never failed to make your heart swell.

“You’ve been taking care of everything else,” Anakin murmured after a long moment of quietness, his voice a soft rumble in your ear. “Now let me take care of you.”

You felt a lump form in your throat, overwhelmed by how much his simple presence soothed you. He always knew when to step in, offering comfort without needing to ask for anything in return. It wasn’t about money or gifts—this, right here, was what made him your anchor. The way he could make you feel safe and cherished, no matter how heavy the world felt on your shoulders.

"Thank you," you whispered, your voice muffled against his chest. You pressed your face further into him, breathing him in, the scent of him calming your racing thoughts. "I don’t know what I’d do without you."

"You’ll never have to find out," he replied softly, kissing the top of your head. "I’ve got you."

You shifted slightly, your legs curling up as you snuggled deeper into him, finding the perfect spot in his lap. His hand gently cradled the back of your head, fingers sliding through your hair with a touch so tender it made your heart flutter.

"I’m not letting you out of my sight for the rest of the night."

TAG LIST: @kingdomhate @divineani @erosmutt @haydensprettyprincess @mistress-amidala @catnipaddictt @heartscone @haydensbbg @inneedsoffanfics @jediavengers @literally-izzy @anisluvrgirl @slutforfinnickodair @xhunnybeeex @fuckmyskywalker @gallerygourmet @bimbo-baggins17

(if you want to be removed or added then don't be shy and let me know 💋)

[bouncybongfairy]

Stress Relief

Bakugou x Fem Reader

Summary: Aizawa offers you extra credit to tutor Bakugou for an upcoming test. Need I say more?

Word Count: 1.5k+

Ref Account: @kaionyx

TW: Rough Smut, Oral Female & Male Receiving, Facial.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Sitting in your room and dissociating never felt so good. It was finally the end of the week and you felt properly chewed up and spit out. Muscles were sore and brain was fried, all you wanted to do was sit in silence. Emptying out your backpack and organizing everything on to your desk. The stress you were under was slowly chipping away at you. Hearing a knock at the door made your eyes roll, the last thing you wanted was to interact with anyone. Wiping the scowl off your face, you go to greet the unwanted guest. The feelings of annoyance quickly turned into insecurity once you saw it was Aizawa and Bakugou. Trying to casually fix your appearance as he began speaking in his monotone voice. 

“Hello, sorry I didn’t mean to come to your dorm directly but this is a time sensitive matter. Bakugou needs a passing grade on this next test, I’m willing to bump your grade up 5% if you agree to help,” he explains, making Bakugou’s frown deepen. 

“Oh of course, we can start right now,” you said, practically beaming. Having your grade pushed up five percent was a God sent gift at this point in the semester. 

“Wonderful, Bakugou, please try to be open to the tutoring,” Aizawa said before walking away. 

You gestured for him to come in, made you feel nervous watching him take in the room. All your posters and collectables are now starting to feel a little dorky. Not really sure what to say, you just sat in silence as he took in your room. You were pretty soft spoken and he was anything but that. It often worried you seeing how dark he was. It was so apparent that his anger issues were coming from a deep wound from the past. When all your friends would gossip, they talked about him with such vascularity and objectification was quite sad. As much as you tried to discourage this, there were times you agreed. The intimidating look he always had written across his face. The way his pent up rage came out during combat training. 

It frustrated you knowing that he could overpower you. Any time you were paired to spar, he always managed to out maneuver you. Pinning you to the ground or wall. As much as it affected the confidence you had in your combat abilities, it made you feel warm and fuzzy. The last time the two of you were sparing, he grabbed your forearm so hard it left a bruise in the shape of his hand. You stared at it in the mirror for a while, confused why you liked it so much. Running your fingertips over the purple and brown blotches. Thinking about the way he looked into your eyes when throwing you to the ground. Walking away with no care or regard for you physically or mentally. It made you melt even though you’d never admit it. The two of you were sitting at your desk, helping him with his English assignment; he was getting frustrated and you were enjoying it a little too much.

“That just doesn’t make any fucking sense. The assignment was to summarize the fucking article. I don’t have to talk about my feelings about it, it’s not even specified!” he said, raising his voice. 

“I could understand you don’t want to give your opinion on it but the teacher isn’t going to accept it until you do. You’re being ridiculous,” you huffed the last part under your breath. 

“Excuse me?” he asked, folding his arms. 

“Nothing, i’m just saying the assignment-” you started but became interrupted. 

“No, go on. Explain why I’m ridiculous, I wanna hear you say it,” he said, furrowing his eyebrows and grinding his teeth. 

“You are ridiculous. Are you so ignorant that you don’t understand how lazy you are? You act like academics is optional and that you can rely solely on your combat. Nobody else will, so I'll be the first to tell you: Thinking physical prowess will get you where you wanna be is stupid and delusional,” you say, starting to pack his papers up. 

“If anyone is stupid and delusional it’s you, we both know the real reason you accepted this little study session,” he scoffs standing up. 

“What do you mean by that?” you ask, knowing exactly what he was implying. 

“Do you think I don’t notice you staring at me? Finding any opportunity to throw yourself at me. I can only imagine what runs through your head while you watch me. I have an idea by the way your cheeks flush and your pupils get wide. The way your body shakes when we spar. It’s stupid and delusional for you to think I'd ever want anything more than your body,” he said, now backing you against the wall.

You weren’t sure what to think, part of you felt like this was him showing his interest in you. Another part of you was worried he was just being cruel. Like he was stringing you along, trying to make you look desperate just to pull away.

“Interesting way to say you want my body, if you wanted me that bad you could just ask,” you patronize. 

“I wouldn’t have too,” he said, grabbing you by the throat and pushing you against the desk. 

You were now halfway sitting on the edge of the desk. Legs dangling off, separated by him grinding against you. Letting go of your hair, holding your face in his hands. The kiss was sloppy and wet, not being able to get enough of each other’s touch. You reached down and ran your hands up his back towards his shoulder. Lightly scratching down as he started kissing your neck. Nipping and sucking hickies on you, his heavy breathing giving your body goosebumps. Your hands begin to wander, fingers dipping into the back of his pants. Tracing all the way around, stopping when you felt his happy trail. He sits back on the office chair and stares you down. This makes you blush, sliding off  and onto your knees. Your body was slightly under the desk, he took your glasses off and set them down.. 

Genuinely being gentle, which made you feel more safe to be vulnerable and vulgar. Taking his tip into your mouth, swirling your tongue around him. He moaned softly as he collected your hair in his hand. Using the other to stroke your cheek and face. Eventually you start bobbing your head up and down. Looking up and watching his reaction, he huffs and grunts that pour out of his mouth. His eyebrows furrowed together and sweat started to bead on his forehead. Feeling him get harder and harder as things started getting more sloppy. His hands were getting rougher, both of them now laced in your hair. Helping fuck your head down on his shaft faster. Cursing and moaning, starting to buck his hips. Making you gag around and spit around his cock. He pulls you by the hair off him with a loud pop sound. Grabbing himself to smack and rub his tip against your lips as he tips over the edge. Covering your mouth and chin with his cum. 

Expecting him to be done but being taken off guard when he grabs your jaw. Bringing you to his level and smashes his lips against yours. Moaning into the kiss, being taken completely by surprise from how brazen he was being. He pulls away, a mix of saliva and his cum dripping down both your mouths. Standing up, he grabs your waist and lifts you on the desk. Sitting back down and spreading your legs, using his fingers to massage your clit. Moving down and eventually pushing a finger inside you. Bringing his lips down and starting to eat you out. Flicking his tongue, moaning as he felt you tighten around his fingers. Increasing the speed of both his hands and mouth. Stroking himself off, seeing you in so much pleasure was making his cock feel touch starved. Reaching your hands down and pulling and yanking. His hair was sweaty and you could feel him breathing hard against your core. 

You tried holding back your orgasm as long as possible, wanting to enjoy the pleasure before becoming overly sensitive. He pushes a third finger which makes you fall  over the edge. Feeling the walls of your cunt spasm and tighten makes him cum for a second time. Standing from his chair, rubbing his tip against your clit while continuing to finger you. Making eye contact as his warm cum covers your lower stomach. Resting your foreheads together, trying to catch your breath. He almost dozed off but eventually realized it was getting late. You were passed out, not wanting to wake you up, he carries you to the bed. Grabbing a towel and wiping you down. He didn’t want to go through your clothes, so he slipped his tee-shirt over you. Walking out in his tanktop, Kirishima gave him a side eye as he left your room.

[iwritebigbellies-blog]

I'm stressed out and exhausted and I guiltily tell you that I'm just not up for anything tonight. I can barely stand the idea of answering a text message, let alone the energy and engagement needed to be sexy. I just want to heap weighted blankets on myself and blurrily grind through some repetitive game; disassociate from my brain and body.

You understand, and not even in a resentful way: I spend so much time insisting I am fine, fine, fine that you are just glad I am finally admitting I can't keep it up this time. You order something for dinner and help me build my blanket fort, you grab me a beer and kiss me on the head. Eventually food comes and you join me, suggesting we start that show we keep saying we'd watch. I gatefully snuggle up to your side and lay my head on your shoulder.

I'm still too tired to eat much, but you knew that would be the case. No pressure, you let me be. You munch through the delivery of pan-Asian dishes, curries and noodles, stir fries and rice, heaps of deep fried spring rolls and dumplings and fritters besides.

You didn't mean anything by it, you're just hungry, and you love food, and we're cozy and relaxed rolling into the fifth episode of the night. You don't even notice the way you hum and burp, shifting your weight now and then, idly petting your stomach when you finish a dish. You grunt a little when you lean forward to grab another serving, woof when you flop back. You can't help telling me how good everything is, since I am not really trying any. You're just content.

I'm watching the show but stroking your belly, slowly and casually, like I always do, because it is soothing. It's hard not to notice when your tshirt isn't really meeting your beltline anymore. It's hard not to run my hand from one love-handle to the other, noting how much rounder you are now than you were then. I'm pretty hyperfocused on a lot of little things by the time you instinctively reach for your belt, keen to unbuckle, then hesitate.

You hadn't meant to get this full. You weren't trying to show off for me. I made it clear I wasn't up for anything. I just want to relax--I should be relaxing. But the belt, that's a rubicon, you know that. That's so deeply sexy to me that there's no way for it not to seem like deliberate foreplay.

You think I haven't noticed. So maybe you can just...pretend everything is casual. You're not *that* full. So the belt is a little tight... you can ignore it. You think you can be good, for my sake.

So you leave the belt and settle back. You have one arm around me and my head is on your chest. You try to watch television.

I reach for the box of pakoras and eat one, then hand you the rest. You place them on the couch and try to ignore them, but they somehow find their way into your mouth anyway. Then I serve myself some pad thai but barely touch it, and you're suddenly clearing that out too. That belt is *really* tight now but you're really determined not to release it. You try to stifle a burp and a hiccup, but don't even notice the way you arch a little after each unintended plate.

Of course you are full now. But it feels so good, and the food really is amazing. You try not to serve yourself anything more but when I hand you something you cheerfully chow it down. You're feeling heavy and swollen, but surely I haven't noticed. It isn't like you've *said* anything. The only thing really bothering you is the belt. You subtly try to pull your gut up and out, driving the waistband down, but you exhausted extra inches that way half an hour ago. You lean back, shirt pulling up, and take as deep a breath as you can.

You finish almost everything, even though we'd intended to eat this again tomorrow, leftovers forsaken. It wasn't really just two dinners, but two dinners that should have been for two people. You don't think too hard about it. The evening has been wonderful, cuddly and close, relaxing and sweet. You can barely breathe, but this is hardly the first time. Life is good. If only you had just a little more space for your aching, stretched belly.

Your head lolls back against the couch and you drift off a little. It is only the feeing of my cool fingers on bare flesh that brings you back. I cup the hang of your belly dipping over your waistline, then burrow under a little to find your belt buckle. It is so tight that getting it undone is a struggle, even for the two of us. When we finally pry the prong out of the hole, pressure takes care of the rest. The belt pulls wide and the button pops open on its own. You can't help but groan as your belly seems to expand six inches all at once, rushing to fill the new space. Your shirt rolls up, exposing your bellybutton.

"Sorry," you moan, but I am not listening. The last hour and a half has steadily cured me. You were too overcome to notice the ripple of a body orgasm as your belly flopped out, but you are now very aware of me, peeling my fuzzy pajama bottoms off and climbing into your lap. You place your hands on my hips, fingers digging into my ass, and gasp as you feel how wet I am, grinding close after removing your pants too.

"No apologies," I murmur, curling around the orb of your swollen gut and kissing you fiercely. "Don't you dare be sorry. You are incredible."

You can't think straight enough to argue. You are swollen and spread out under me, made hard by your gorging and my abrupt, intense interest. Your head lies against the back of the couch as you let me take you with a gasp. Everything feels so much. You are going to explode.

"I couldn't help myself," you say, after we have both exploded together.

I kiss you again and lie heavy on you, settling in to stay.

"I know," I say. "Neither could I."

[eand47]

Chapter VII | A Little Death

Summary: You moved to one of the biggest cities in the world - Grand Line to pursue filmmaking career. Soon enough your path will cross with the vocalist of upcoming band called “The Neighbourhood”. At first you decided to be just friends - because it would be easier, but sadly as everything in life sometimes by taking the easy path we regret a lot of things.

Main characters: Portgas D Ace x Reader (female)

Supporting characters: Nami, Usopp, Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Law, Deuce, Shanks, Buggy, Sabo, Eustass Kid, Koala, Robin, Dave (OC)

Description: Modern AU | Musician Ace

WARNINGS: explicit language, mentions of alcohol, mentions of cigarettes/nicotine, mentions of sex, mentions of tattoos

Word Count: 21,2K

<- previous chapter | story masterlist | main masterlist | next chapter ->

NOTE: This chapter drained me mentally and physically ngl… I literally edited it for five hours and still I’m not 100% satisfied with it but my brain is fried as this is idk which day in a roll where I’ve been awake until 5/6am to write… anyway I hope that you will enjoy it as I really tried to make it as good as possible guys. Also most of you are going to hate me for what you are about to read…. anyway enjoy ♡

The songs for the chapter are - ‘A Little Death’ by The Neighbourhood, ‘Attention’ by Tokio Hotel, ‘True Disaster’ by Tove Lo and ‘A Big Jet Plain’ by Angus & Julia Stone.

Yelling filled up the hospital room. I winced when Shanks continued to scream at me. I had woken up like an hour ago. Opening my eyes and seeing that I was in a hospital bed confused and scared me. I didn’t remember anything from last night, since the moment I was with the creepy guy by the bar. But what happened after that I had no idea. The first person who I saw waking up was Shanks. He seemed so stressed and pissed at the same time. When he saw me waking up, the only thing he said was that he was going to call the nurse without giving me any explanations of how I ended here. The nurse came fast and told me she would run some test. When I asked her what happened to me, she just looked at Shanks as she was hesitating if she should tell me or not. In response Shanks told her that he would explain to me. Once she left the room, he told me what had happened and since then he hasn’t stopped screaming.

 “How stupid you are? Explain? How could you take a drink from some stranger then on top of it leave with him?” Shanks yelled. The room filled up with silence. “Answer!” I twitched when he screamed at the top of his lungs. I was in a state of shock as it was still hard for me to process what had happened. My bottom lip trembled, and my eyes were filled up with tears. I have never seen Shanks this mad, neither he has ever raised his voice at me like this. The only thing I had my eyes focused on were my trembling fingers with which I was nervously playing with in my lap.

“Answer.” He said once again, but at least this time he wasn’t screaming, but his voice was still sharp. I couldn’t withhold the tears anymore and they started falling from my eyes. I lowered my head even more as I tried to hide my face with my hair, ashamed of what had happened. Ashamed and afraid.

“I-I... S-Shanks... I-I’m so-sorry...” I couldn’t find my voice. Everything came out as a whispered. “I d-don’t want to t-talk about i-it now... please...” I begged him as a sob left my lips.

“Oh no, we are going to talk about this now.” He said, walking back and forth around the room. “You had no idea, how lucky you got that you ended up in the hospital, rather than God’s know where.”

“I-I’m realising t-this Shanks. I g-guess the security a-acted fast.” I quietly said in between sobs.

“Oh, did I forgot to mention. No, no Foxy.” He stared to laughed, but it wasn’t a happy laughter. His laughter was mocking and full of rage. “The fucking security didn’t do shit, and this is something that I will personally take with the club owners.” I raised my head a bit, still hiding my face with my hair I glanced at Shanks. If it wasn’t the security, then who safe me?

“W-who was it t-then?”

“Your Romeo, who else.” Shanks chuckled mockingly. “I own Ace a big time now.” He murmured but I heard him. My heart skipped a beat. Ace saved me? But how? Panic took over my body again from the fact that I couldn’t remember anything that happened. Shanks started to fuss again but I didn’t pay him much attention this time, last thing I needed right now was this. “I told your father as well.” I snapped out of my thoughts the moment I heard Shanks saying this.

“Why did you do this Shanks?” I cried. The thought of my dad waking up to such news broke my heart. I didn’t want him to worry about me and to know that such thing had happened to me.

“Because he is your father, and he must know how stupid his daughter is.” Shanks spat, pulling his red hair frustrated. “God, I hope my kid is not as stup-“ He got interrupted by the door opening. It was Ace standing at the door. He looked at Shanks first then he moved his eyes to me. I lowered my head again not wanting him to see me in such state.

“Shanks why don’t you go out for a bit? I think you need some fresh air.” Ace held the door open and nodded to Shanks to get out of the room.

“Ace be careful with the tone.” Shanks pointed his finger at Ace warning him.

“Or what Shanks?” Ace crossed his arms in front of his chest, his posture straightened. He wasn’t afraid of Shanks, but he also knew that Shanks wasn’t going to do anything.

“I’m not done with her. She has a lot of questions to answer.” Shanks turned his piercing glance towards me. I didn’t dare to look towards neither of them.

“Sure, but I doubt this is what she needs right now.” Ace’s voice was stern yet protective. Shanks breathed out loudly.

“I will be back in ten minutes and you better start talking when I get back.” He pointed his finger at me this time before storming out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. I winced at the sound of it. Neither Ace nor I said anything at first. My head was still lowered, not daring to lift it up and look at him. He grabbed a chair and placed it next to the hospital bed and took seat on it. His fingers grabbed my chin gently and lift my head making me look at him. My chest rose and fell quickly as I looked into his eyes. I bit on my trembling lip hard as I tried to not let out any sobs, but the tears escaped my eyes. Without saying anything Ace just pulled me closer to him and wrapped me in his arms. The sob that I was holding escaped my mouth the moment I buried my head in the crook of his neck. I wrapped my arms around him holding on tight for dear life.

“It’s okay, doll.” He cooed in my ear. “You’re safe. I’m here.” Ace whispered the last part. He was gently rubbing circles on my back with one of his hands while with the other he was running his fingers through my hair. I was not sure how long we stayed like this, but he held me until I pulled away from him first. I sniffed and swallowed hard before I could find my voice to speak up.

“Aren’t you mad at me like Shanks is?” My voice was barely audible. I thought I had no more tears left to cry, but one escaped the corner of my eye.

“Oh, I am.” Ace said. He reached with his hand and whipped the tear away with his thumb. I lowered my head again, not wanting to look at his eyes and see the same disappointment Shanks had. He lifted my chin up and made me look at him again. “But I’m more pissed at your friends for not looking after you.” His voice was soft, but his face was stern.

“I’m not a child. They are not responsible for my safety nor my mistakes.” I said and Ace just sighed and let go of my face. He shook his head and closed his eyes rubbing his temples. “Don’t be mad at them I beg you.” I carefully reached out and placed my hand on top of his squeezing it, making him look at me again. His nostrils flared as he inhaled and exhaled before he gave me a stern look.

“Promise you will never ever, no matter the circumstances, accept anything, not just drinks, I mean anything from strangers, especially men.” I have never heard or seen Ace being so serious about something as he was now. I swallowed hard and nodded, lowering my gaze. “Look at me and say it.” His voice became low and warning.

“I-I promise.” I breathed out. He nodded with a huffed, looking away from me. I eyed him and just now noticed how tired and tensed his body posture was. Dark circles were placed under his eyes, which meant he hasn’t slept at all. I looked around the hospital room for a clock. My eyes landed on one placed by the door. It was almost one pm. How long have I been out exactly? Salience took over the room once again, but this time I was the one to break it. “Thank you.” I whispered. Ace tilted his head at me and slightly nodded. “How... how did you find me... like... last thing I remember is being by the bar with...with...” I couldn’t finish the sentence. Chills ran down my back when I remembered the guy’s face from last night. I should have trusted my guts and tell him to fuck off. My breath quickened as I started trembling and Ace noticed it.

“Calm down. Don’t think about it.” He was quick to reassure me. “I went looking for you, as no one had seen you for a while. Just before you went out of the club, I saw your skirt and ran after you.” His jaw clenched and his eyes darkened. Something was running through his mind, and I wasn’t sure what it was.

“W-what h-happened to the g-guy?” My voice trembled with fear. A puff of air escaped Ace’s nose in a makeshift laugh.

“You don’t need to worry about it, doll. He has been taken care off.” He moved a strand of hair from my face and tucked it behind my ear. I gave him a doubtful look.

“What do you mean he has been taken care off? Did the police lock him?”

“Yeah. As I said, don’t worry, you are safe.” Ace gave me a smile, but something in this smile wasn’t sincere. But I wasn’t stupid, and I knew it was pointless to try to get any information from him or Shanks, because if they have sat their minds on not telling me then no matter how much questions I asked I would receive no answer.

“I’m sorry if I destroyed your big night...” I nibbled on my bottom lip. The guilt was written all over my face. “I hope you won’t get in trouble because of me.”

“Didn’t destroy anything and you don’t need to worry about me.” He said as he got up from the chair and ruffled my hair. “I think they will let you go home later today, so if you need something call or text me, okay?” I frowned when I realised he was going to leave now. I didn’t want him to leave. Not yet at least. Having Ace around felt safer than Shanks, mostly because I knew he wouldn’t let Shanks scream at me and right now all I needed was some peace and quiet.

“A-are you l-leaving?” I looked at him from under my lashes as I played nervously with my fingers. Ace was clearly taken aback from my question, which surprised me. He placed a hand on the nape of his neck and gave me an awkward chuckle.

“I, um yeah. Do you want me to stay longer?”

“No.” I shook my head fast. “I-I... No. You have done more than I could ever ask for. Thank you, Ace. I-I... I own you a big time.” I didn’t want him to stay longer, I needed him to do so, but I could see that he was tired and the tension between him and Shanks was visible. He had really done more for me than I could ask for – he did safe my life, as no one knew what that guy could have done to me.

“You don’t own me anything.” Ace half smiled at me and before he left, he stopped for a second and looked over his shoulder at me. “Take care, doll.” He told me before he closed the door behind himself.

It has been a week and some days since the ‘accident’ happened. My phone was blowing after I got out of the hospital. Nami even called me crying and I had to reassure her that I was fine, and it wasn’t her fault. The only thing I requested from everyone were two things: first – no one at our university must find out about what happened as I didn’t want people coming at me and asking me questions and whatsoever, and second for some piece and quiet. Then I had to face my dad, which was the hardest conversation I had with him in a while. He had come here the day after I came back from the hospital. The conversation was long and very emotional, but at least he wasn’t as harsh as Shanks was, and it was nice to have him so close to me again. Speaking of Shanks, he had calmed down, but at the same time I understood where his frustration came from, and I knew that he reacted this way out of love and care for me. My father and Shanks were checking on me everyday to a point where they were becoming a little annoying, but again probably if I were on their place I would have done the same. I was spending most of my days with my father, catching up with him for the time we had spent apart. He was staying over at Shanks place, so it was only at night when I was alone. That was when I would get triggered, but I wasn’t entirely alone. There was always this one person who was checking on me daily, especially at night before I went to sleep. Ace was texting me everyday to check how I was doing or if I was in need anything. Every time my phone would vibrate, I was hoping it was a message from him and when it was my heart would skip a beat, and the smile was immediately on my face. Which was so hard to control especially when my father was around, but I couldn’t stop it no matter how hard I tired.

It was already ten something pm and I was getting ready to go to bed, as tomorrow I planned to go to my last lectures for this year. Even though part of me still wanted to be home alone, I knew that I had to go out and continue with my life. The worst didn’t happen, so I had to be grateful and continue. I was brushing my teeth when my phone vibrated. The smile on my face couldn’t be stopped as I saw from who the message was from. I cleaned my teeth and face fast and grabbed my phone as I unlocked it when I jumped on my bed.

‘Wanna grab coffee after your classes tomorrow?’ I bit on my bottom lip as I started to write a response to his message. I wrote ‘it’s a date ;)’ but just before I sent it, I realised that Ace didn’t mean it at all to be a date, so I quickly deleted the message.

“‘Our spot?’ Yes, this one sounded better.” I said to myself as I pressed sent and waited for his response.

‘Yea, you can call it that I guess.’ before I could respond he sent me another message. ‘What time you be finishing?’

We texted back and forth for good forty something minutes before we said goodnight. Putting my phone away to charge, I exhaled deeply. I couldn’t wait to see him tomorrow. I covered my face with the palms of my hands as I felt blood rushing all over my cheeks. This man was making it very hard to be just his friend.

“Fucking Ace.” I said to myself giggling.

The lectures finished just on time, and I packed my stuffs as fast as possible. Classmates and professors were exchanging wishes and so on for Christmas, but I didn’t pay them much attention.

“Why are you in such big hurry?” Nami looked at me curiously. I gave her an awkward smile as I tired to come up with excuse because I couldn’t tell her that I was meeting with Ace in less than thirty minutes.

“I... you know... kinda wanna go home as fast as possible, because... you know...” Making an excuse with what happened was the worst thing I could have come up with, but right now I couldn’t think of anything else. Nami sadly frowned. She was still feeling guilty for what happened. I quickly went to her and pulled her in a hug.

“Please, stop. It wasn’t your fault at all. If anyone is to blame, it’s me for being so reckless.” I tried my best to reassure her, because it was my fault for accepting the drink instead of telling the guy to leave me alone.

“No don’t blame yourself. The only person to blame is that asshole who did this to you. Thanks God that the security acted on time.” I looked at Nami confused. What did she mean by this? It wasn’t the security that stopped the guy, it was Ace. “Are you really sure that you are, okay?” Nami pulled away and observed my face carefully.

“Yes, I am okay I promise... just...” I paused for a moment. “Nami it wasn’t the security who stopped him, it was Ace.” I chuckled, still looking at her with confusion.  

“What? But Luffy and Zoro told me different story. Are you sure?” Confusion crossed her face as well.

“Pretty, sure. Maybe they just didn’t want to worry you more you know.” I shrugged. This was the only logical explanation behind it.

“Yes, you are right, but still strange.” She shook her head and looked at me with care and worry. “But if there is something or someone you need, please let me know.” She said as I squeezed her shoulders and nodded reassuring her that if I needed something I would let her know. “I know you are not coming to the party tonight, but we will see each other during the break, right?”

“Of course we will. My dad is leaving on the twenty-eight so after it I’m all free.” I gave her a big smile. We bit each other goodbye, and I quickly left the lectures room.

I was walking fast towards the exit. My heart was beating faster knowing that I was meeting Ace in just a few minutes. Just when I was pushing the door to exit our programs building, I heard my name being called. I turned around and I was met with no one else but Dave.

“Hey Dave.” I smiled at him. He took me by surprise when he wrapped his arms around me in a strong hug. I was not only surprised but confused as well. I slowly raised my hands and patted his back. “Are you okay?”

“No, I’m the one who should ask you this. Nami told me what happened to you, and I wanted to reach you out and see you, but she told me you wanted to be left alone, so I didn’t dare to bother you.” He blurted out super fast I almost didn’t catch what he said. I mentally cursed Nami, I asked her specifically to not tell a single soul and of course of all people she told Dave. “Also please don’t get mad at her. She only told me because I was worried about you, and you weren’t here and you also didn’t respond to any of my messages and I thought at first that you are mad at me or something.” He finally pulled away from me and I was able to breath. His eyes and whole face were full of worry and concern. 

“I-I... oh Dave...” I felt so bad. He had texted me so many times during this week and I kept ignoring his messages and it wasn’t even on purpose. “Look Dave, I’m fine. I promise you I’m all good as long as I don’t think or speak about it. So, please don’t worry about me.” I patted him on the shoulder and gave him another smile as I was hoping that this would calm him for now. “And I’m so sorry for ignoring your messages I just wanted to be left alone... I-I hope you understand.”

“Please, if you need something let me know.” He pulled me once again for a hug and this time I wrapped my arms around him too.

“I’m sorry again for not responding.” I said as we pulled apart. “I didn’t do it purposely hope you know this. But I must go now, we will catch some other time.”

“Do you want me to walk with you? I have time.” He opened the door for me and the cold air hit my face when we stepped outside.

“No, it’s okay, thank you again.” I said with a smile. Dave was a very nice guy, and I really appreciated his efforts and wants to be of help for me. “We should catch up sometime.”

“Actually... I wanted to ask you something.” His smile grew and the corners of his eyes crinkled. “I know how much you love ‘Interstellar’ and there is this special screening at the cinema next to my place the end of the month and... you know...” He awkwardly chuckled. “I was wondering if you would like to go with me and... yeah watch the movie.” His brows raised, expecting my answer.

“Sure, yeah this would be fantastic.” I nodded eagerly. “When is it?”

“It’s on twenty-ninth.”

“Perfect, then text me more details and we will go.” I waved him goodbye and left before he had the chance to say something more.

The coffee shop was fifteen minutes away, so I fasten my pace as much as I could while trying to keep my balance due to the frozen patches on the sideways. The smile on my face was growing bigger with every passing second. I just couldn’t wait to finally see him. The bubble of excitement was growing in my stomach. A part of me was also nervous as last time we properly saw each other was when I stayed over at his place. I didn’t count the club or the hospital. I was crossing the street when I saw his tall figure. He was in front of the coffee shop, smoking a cigarette. His orange beany that I loved was placed on top of his messy raven black hair. He was dressed pretty casually, a dark grey jacket which seemed pretty light for the temperatures outside and some dark blue jeans. Ace had his phone in his other hand, so it seemed like he didn’t notice me. I mischievously smiled when I carefully sneaked behind him, trying my best go unnoticed. He took one last drag from his cigarette and threw it in the bin beside him. I took this as my opportunity. Now it was the best time to surprise attack him but as I ran, I didn’t notice that there was an icy patch, and I slipped. I fall on my butt and a loud squawked escaped my lips. Ace quickly turned around and when he saw me on the ground, he bust out laughing.

“It’s not funny.” I pouted and tried to stand but it was too slippery under me.

“Yea, it’s hilarious. Did you hurt yourself?” He continued to laugh as he reached his hand offering me his help. I grabbed it with a groan and he pulled me up like I weighted nothing. I was starting to wonder how strong Ace was actually. I patted my butt as some snow got on my coat. I looked up and I was met with his charming smile. “Hey, doll.” He pinched my cheek. A shy smile formed on my face as I bit on my bottom lip.

“Hey, Ace.” I quietly said. He laughed once again and nodded towards the cafe, as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and led us in. My breath got caught up in my lungs, not only because I was so close to him, but because I didn’t expect such closure from him. Once again Ace was full of surprises when it came to his behaviour. Sometimes he was cold and distant, not in the mood at all, and sometimes like now he was, well he was in a good mood. Once inside we went straight to the coffee counter. I haven’t been here for almost a month. The whole place was decorated with Christmas lights and decorations, making it even cozier. It was busy but not so much so there were plenty of seats. Still with his hand around my shoulders Ace leaned closer to me.

“What would you like, doll?” His voice was low and deep as his breath hit the skin around my ear. I tilted my head to have a better look at him without realising how close our faces were. Shivers ran down my spine. In the past few days, the idea of having someone so close to me was terrifying, even today when Dave hugged me it felt somehow alarming. But having Ace so close, didn’t feel this way, it felt nice and safe. Yes, it did make me nervous, but not for the same reasons if it was somebody else. “Cat got your tongue?” He clicked with his tongue as his smirk started growing. I pulled my head slightly away from him and playfully rolled my eyes.

“I will get a tea.” I returned the smirk. He lightly nodded and pulled away from me, removing his hand from my shoulders as it was our turn to order.

“What flavour you want?” He handed me their special seasonal tea menu. I took a quick look at it and pointed at the one I wanted. “Have you eaten? Do you want something to eat?”

“No, I haven’t, but I’m not hungry.” I said with a half smile. My appetite was very low these days, and I have skipped a lot of meals.

“Sorry, could you please give us a second.” Ace politely said to the barista girl, and she nodded. “When did you last eat?” He turned to me and looked at me seriously.

“Geez, Ace don’t act like me dad now. I ate when I ate, please let’s just order the drinks.” I protested. Ace huffed and turned again to the barista.

“Yea, so the tea, one black coffee and could you please add one BLT sandwich. Thanks.” Before I could say anything, he had already paid. The girl behind the counter said that she would come with the order, which was odd due to the fact that they didn’t serve on the tables here, but I guessed it had to do with Ace’s charming smile. We went to sit at the back of the cafe on one of the small tables there. Walking behind him, I was frowning. Did he ever listen to me? Before we sat down, we both took off our jackets. While I had a thick sweater under my coat, Ace was with a short sleeve t-shirt.

“Aren’t you freezing?” I asked him, my brows frowned as I was a little pissed at him.

“No, I feel pretty hot actually.” He said and sat down. “Till this day Dadan tells me that my blood is probably made of fire, because I always feel hot.” I couldn’t stop the chuckle that escaped my lips as I sat opposite of him. Still, I crossed my arms in front of my chest and gave him an annoyed look. “What?” Ace snorted.

“What?” I spat raising my brows. “Could you please stop manhandling me? I told you I wasn’t hungry. And what if I don’t like it?”

“Oh doll, I promise you if you think this is manhandling, I will manhandle you for real and then you will be begging me for more.” The corners of his mouth turned up into a small smirk as he saw the way I froze from his response. I opened and closed my mouth, but nothing came out. Thankfully the barista came with our order. Ace thanked her without moving his gaze from me. He breathed out and gave me a pleading look. “Eat, please. You told me yourself you are barley eating these days.” I have forgotten that I’ve shared this with him, but still, he should have listened to me. “I didn’t manhandle you, okay? I just want to make sure you are taking care of yourself.” He reached and placed his hand on top of mine. His aunt wasn’t wrong when she told him that he was made of fire. His hand was so much warmer on top of mine. He took it and ran his thumb across my knuckles. “I’ve promised you to not push you to talk about it, but please at least take care of yourself.” I inhaled and exhaled deeply before I nodded and pulled my hand away from his.

“Can you at least help me with it, as it’s quite big.” I said as I grabbed the sandwich, which did look very tasty, and was cut in two halves and handed him one half of it. He pushed my hand back and chuckled.

“How about you eat as much as you can first and then if you can’t finish it, I will help you?” I decided to not argue with him and just nodded taking a bite of the sandwich. It was as tasty as it looked. Ace laughed at me as he saw my eyes widen from the taste of it. “You see, doll? I know what you like.” He propped his chin on his hand giving me a cheeky half smile.

“So what else are you up to this week except rehearsing with the guys?” I asked taking another bite of the food.

“Why you wanna take me out or something?” He said sarcastically, before he held his coffee mug to his lips, taking a sip of it. I knew he was messing with me, but still his response got me blushing.

“Hell no.” I rolled my eyes. “Just curious about your schedule.” I said lifting my shoulder in a half shrug. Ace leaned on the back of the chair and crossed his ankles as he took another sip of his coffee.

“Hm, I have something in mind, but I’m not entirely sure if I will do it, yet. Anyway, wanna come over this Sunday, you have a movie to show me.”

“Why on Sunday?” I raised my eyebrow teasingly. “Why not Friday or Saturday?”

“I’m busy.” His mouth twitched. He was up to something.

“Busy with what?” I squinted my eyes playfully leaning closer to the table.

“It’s a secret.” He leaned in closer, too.

“You have secrets from me now?” I mockingly pouted. He mocked my pout, and I couldn’t withhold the giggle that escaped my lips. I finished with one half of sandwich and pushed the plate with the rest towards him. “I’m full. Thank you for the meal.” I grabbed the still warm tea mug and placed it to my lips, blowing it before I took a sip. The tea was spicy and sweet – a mixture of cinnamon, gingerbread cookie and orange. “Mmm, you have to try this.” I stretched my hands across the small table and nodded my head to Ace to try it. He took the teacup from me and took a sip of the tea. Placing the mug back in front of me, his face scrunched at the taste of it. “You didn’t like it?” My head tilted a bit in surprised as I thought he would most certainly like it. He shook his head.

“I like that it’s spicy, but it’s too sweet.” His mouth twisted as he shrugged. “I’m not really into sweet treats, doll.” Ace gave me a wink.

“Oh, so you are not into me, I see...” I raised the tea with both of my hands covering almost my entire face but my eyes as I wiggled my eyebrows playfully. The confidence that took over me came out of nowhere, which cause my whole face to flush, even Ace raised his brows in surprise. My gaze wasn’t leaving his as he let out a boyish laugher at my comment.

“Nah, doll. Too sweet for my taste.” He said placing his elbows on top of the table and leaning closer to me. I took a sip of the tea and placed the mug back on the table, leaning forward mimicking his position. Our faces were close but not close enough for it to seemed too intimate. We were just looking at each other with teasing looks in our eyes. I tilted my head bit before giving him a sweet smile.

“Don’t worry Ace, it’s mutual.” I winked at him. A short exhale of breath escaped his lips reminiscent of laugh.

“Good.” He said nodding with a smirk as he pulled away without breaking eye contact.

“Why don’t you come over and we watch it at my place instead?” This wasn’t the first time I have invited him over. While I stayed at home for this week and a half, I invited him at least three times and he always brushed me off.

“Okay.”

“Okay? Really?” I didn’t expect this response. I thought he would cut me off again.

“Yea, sure. But I will come late probably, keep this in mind.” He fixed his beany a bit, but his messy curls were still poking from all directions. I would lie if I said that I didn’t want to bury my fingers in his dark locks. His hair was so soft in a way I was yearning to get the chance to play with it again. My fingers still remembering the feeling of when he had let me run them through it while we were high. I was very aware of my physical attraction towards him, there were some feelings that were present, but I had to supress them for the sake of our so called ‘friendship’. Ace pulled me out of my trance state as he called my name. “High up in the clouts?” He chuckled.

“Yes. Quite high.” I breathed out.

“So how are things now with Robin?” Ace asked Law without looking at him. He was too focused on the paper in front of him. It was Friday night, almost past eleven pm. Deuce and Sabo had already gone home after a long day of rehearsing and writing, it was only him and Law left in the studio. Law was taking a little break as his mind was going to explode. They had locked themself in the studio since the morning. Taking a sip of his water Law observed Ace. His postured was hunched and he looked extremely tired. Since they have announced that they will be realising an album Ace was the one who had pushed them to work even harder now.

“Things are going pretty well. We are even celebrating Christmas together.” Law responded. Ace whistled when he heard his friend response.

“You are seriously cuffed m-” Ace got interrupted as his phone lighted up indicating he had received a message. His mouth twitched upwards as he saw who had texted him, which didn’t go unnoticed by Law.

“Mhm, I’m definitely the cuffed one.” A make shifted laughter escaped Law’s nose. “How’s (Y/N)?”

“Better now.” Ace replied as he was typing something on his phone. “Here look at these lyrics! You think they will match the verse you wrote?” Without moving his eyes from his phone Ace handed Law the piece of paper he was focused on before his phone distracted him. Law grabbed the paper and observed the lyrics.

Touch me, yeah I want you to touch me there Make me feel like I am breathing Feel like I am human

Law hummed once he read the lyrics. They were going to do good as a chorus. His eyes moved back to his dear friend. He had never seen Ace like this, and the worst part was that Ace was denying it. Ace was still keening on the idea that he was only sexually attracted to (Y/N), and what he was feeling was just nothing more than sexual desire. Yet, if Ace could get a glimpse of himself when he was texting her or just when he was around her, he would probably not recognise himself. Law wasn’t stupid he was very aware of who was Ace texting right now. He also knew what had happened and saw for himself how tensed Ace was the first few days after the accident. And now on top of it these lyrics, which were clearly written for (Y/N). Ace finally put his phone away and looked at Law. Even thought he was obviously exhausted his mood has increased drastically.

“What do you think?” Ace asked, his foot tapping nervously on the floor.

“I think they will do very good as catchy chorus.” Law handed him back the paper. “Also, I already have an idea for the second verse.” He grabbed a new piece of paper and started writing down.

“Don’t you think they are a little cringe?” Ace scrunched his face as he repeated the lyrics in his mind.

“You do sound like a horny virgin.” Saying this Law received a flying paper ball towards his head, but he ducked, and it missed him. Both shared a laugher as Law reached with his hand towards Ace and handed him the piece of paper where he wrote down the second verse.

Dancing through the night A vodka and a Sprite A glimpse of her silhouette A night that they'd never forget

“Do you have any melody in mind for this?” Ace asked, grabbing his guitar and propping it on his right knee. Law grabbed his as well and started to play around with some chords. Ace hummed and tapped with his fingers on his guitar before he followed Law.

“Do you wanna record it and mess around with it more tomorrow?” Law looked up at Ace. Both were quite exhausted, but they could handle one more hour of work.

“Yea, we can do this just so we can work more on it this weekend.” Ace got up and grabbed one of the microphones in the studio adjusting it closer to him as he sat back down. It didn’t take them more than an hour to record an acoustic version of the song. It wasn’t the best but it was far away from the final result of the song.

“Are you going to Robin’s place?” Ace asked as he took a puff of his cigarette. Law and he decided to take a quick smoke before they say goodbye.

“Nah, she is already asleep, plus we start early tomorrow.” He replied before a smirked formed on his face. “What about you?”

“What about me?” Ace raised his brow.

“Come on, bro. What’s going on with (Y/N)?” Law whined, he knew Ace was fully aware what he was asking him.

 “Well...” Ace took another drag of his cigarette. This was a good question – what was going between him and (Y/N). The lust for her was still there, but the more he was getting to know her the more it was growing. But it wasn’t only the sexual desire growing. There were guilt, shame and confusion on the back of his mind. Guilt because he didn’t want to destroy whatever they had going on but also, he couldn’t put aside the thoughts he had for her. Ot top of it he wasn’t blind or stupid. He could clearly see how she would blush or the way her breath would hitch the moment he complimented her or when he made more bold comment, or how she was always nervous around him. Ace also found it super adorable how sleek she thought she was being every time she would shyly check him out. There was also shame – the shame for his thoughts, his actions at times and mostly of Ace being Ace. The shame of who he was and knowing that he might bring this shame upon her was eating him alive from the inside. But more than everything Ace was confused. Confused because the more he was trying to distance himself from her the more he was yearning for her presence. The way he was craving their small meaningless talks along with the deeper ones. The desire to wrap his arms around her and kiss her slowly but passionate until they both run out of breath, but not in a hungry lustful way just a burning sensual kiss. At this point it was taking all his willpower every time their faces were inches apart to pull her closer and say, ‘fuck this’ and get lost in the feeling. And this weird obsession of being able to protect her from any harm. But no – he couldn’t do this to her, not to (Y/N). Yet, he had never felt this way, this desire towards any girl. The only logical explanation was the fact that he had told himself that he couldn’t have her. Yes, this was it. The answer to all his guilt, shame and confusion was because for a first time ever he couldn’t have a girl he wanted. It was all because he put a limit to himself. Law snapped his finger in front of Ace’s face, and he snapped back to reality. “Shit sorry man... um yeah (Y/N)... nothing, just friends.”

“Again the ‘friends’ bullshit?” Law snorted and rolled his eyes at Ace. He threw his cigarette on the ground and tapped Ace on the shoulder two times. “At least be honest with yourself if you want to keep lying to others.” Law didn’t wait for his response and just left. His words stuck something deep within Ace.

“Fuck off, Law.” Ace screamed after his friend to which Law responded with raising his hand up in the air and showing Ace the middle finger. Rolling his eyes Ace threw away his cigarette and grabbed his helmet. He got on his motorcycle and headed home. On the way there he couldn’t stop thinking about what Law had said to him. Ace was honest with himself, after all he wasn’t a kid. He was a grown up and he knew where his feelings stood, and they were nowhere near (Y/N). All he felt towards her was pure lust only because he had limited himself. If he had had his way with her already, she would have been long time forgotten. But now he was stuck in a friendship with her. Not like he didn’t enjoy it, quite the opposite. He really liked spending time with her, it was the fact that he was acting like a horny teenager when it came to her, but he was sure that it was going to go away soon. Maybe the whole protective and caring behaviour towards her was because he was Luffy’s age. Yes, this was it – lust because he couldn’t sleep with her and the overly protective obsession was from the fact that she was the same age as his little brother was.

Sunday came faster than expected. Ace and the rest of the guys were stuck in the studio the entire day. They even called Usopp to help them with producing and final touches for the song. After two long days the song was done. Everyone high-fived and cheered once they finished the record.

“Song number one is done.” Deuce cheered loudly standing behind Ace and grabbing his shoulders shaking him.

“Easy there, Deuce.” Ace laughed at his friend enthusiasm. “Just because we recorded a song it doesn’t mean it will end up on the album.”

“What? This song is getting on the album. The chorus are extremely catchy, so this song is on.” Deuce nudged his sides and Ace whined.

“It can make it to the album, but it won’t be a single, that is for sure.” Law called after Deuce.

“Oh, my big bro killed it with the vocals again.” Sabo jumped on Ace’s back almost knocking them both on the ground. Ace was quick to grunt him. They all sat down – some on the spinning chairs others on the couch, exhaustion written all over their faces.

“How’s uni going Usopp?” Ace was the first one to break the silence as he had propped himself on the couch with one hand on the back of it.

“Good, but I’m so happy we finally got some break.” Usopp answer and turned to face Ace as he was saving some files until now. “How is lif-” He got interrupted as his phone vibrated. “Hell, yeah.” Usopp raised his hands in the air as he screamed like his favourite football team scored a goal in the last second. Everyone gave him a questioning look.

“Care to share the news?” Sabo snorted.

“You guys remember Dave?” Everyone nodded except Ace, he didn’t like where this was going just by the guy’s name being mentioned. “So, my boy is head over heels (Y/N), and I told him to make a move finally and apparently he asked her this Wednesday and she agreed to go out with him and now he texted me that he set his mind on confessing to her.” Sabo and Deuce cheered among with Usopp, while Law glanced at Ace and his face was unreadable like a stone. Meanwhile Ace mind was running wild. (Y/N) didn’t say anything about a ‘date’ with anyone last Wednesday when they saw each other. Was she even into this dude? Speaking of (Y/N) he was supposed to go to her place tonight and watch her short movie, which he had totally forgot about and just now it crossed his mind. Ace got up fast and pulled his phone looking at the time. It was still nine pm, so he had some time to catch up with her.

“What is the hurry?” Sab looked at his brother suspiciously.

“I remembered I have some shit at home I must take care of.” Ace said putting on his leather jacket on.

“You won’t be joining us for a beer?” Deuce frowned his brows as he pushed his thick black glass frames.

“Not tonight guys. Usopp thanks for the help, man.” Ace half waved at them and left the studio as fast as possible. Before he got on his motorbike, he texted her a quick message that he was on his way to her place.  

Ace felt his whole body tensing up, on top of it every red light was catching him. His mind went back to what Usopp said. (Y/N) didn’t mention anything like this at all not even when they were texting. But maybe it was a good. If she gets herself a boyfriend, then there would be even better reason for Ace to stay away from her. After twenty minutes which felt like eternity he parked in front of her building. He pulled up his phone to text her to give him the door code, but his eyes widen at the message he had received from her a little after he had texted that he was on his way.

‘The door code is 7744... also my dad is here, and he said ‘I’m not leaving until I meet him’... hope you don’t mind >.<’ Ace cursed under his breath. Why did her father want to meet him? If he had seen the message earlier, he would have at least more time to prepare for it. He took a deep breath and for a moment hesitated if he should smoke a quick cigarette before heading upstairs but instead cursed once more and made his way to (Y/N)’s apartment.

“Dad please, leave.” I was begging him even before Ace texted me that he was on his way. “I can tell him that you are grateful for what he did that night.”

“Baby girl, no.” My father brushed me off again. “As a father and as a man I must thanked the man who saved my daughter.” Like the diva my father was he brushed his long ponytail on the side.

“You are such a diva.” I whined and checked my phone to see if Ace had responded but I had nothing. He hasn’t even seen the message. I just hope that he would show up. We stayed in silence until I heard the doorbell ring. Before I could react, my dad was already at the door. “No, dad wait.” I called after him, but it was too late. The giggle that escaped my lips couldn’t be stopped especially when I saw Ace’s reaction once the door opened. He got taken aback and blush spread across his cheeks as my father greeted him.

“Come on in young man.” Dad moved to the side and waved his hand to Ace to get in. Ace slightly nodded and got inside.

“Hey.” I softly said as I reached with my hand to take his jacket. He mouthed a quick hello back as he was taking his boots off. Once he straitened his posture my dad patted him on the back and led him inside. I bit on my lip, holding on the chuckled that wanted to escape my lips at the sight of them. Ace was so much taller than my father so the sight on my dad short form pushing him around was just hilarious to look at. They sat on the couch and my dad grabbed Ace’s right hand and shook it firmly.

“Where are my manners? Buggy, nice to meet you Ace, I’ve heard quite a lot about you.” My father patted Ace’s shoulder as he let go of his hand. I sat on the ground and scrunched my faced from embarrassment as I heard what my father said.

“N-nice to meet you as well, sir.” Ace chuckled and glanced at me. The confusion in his eyes was so easy to read. I just shrugged as I couldn’t do anything to help him right now.

“I want to personally thank you for saving my daughter.” Dad’s voice got serious and stern. “Shanks and I own you a big time, because I don’t want to think what would have happened to my precious baby girl if you haven’t interfered on time.”

“Sir plea-” My dad was quick to correct Ace to call him by his name. “Buggy, okay.” Ace chuckled. “You own me nothing, I did what I had to do.”

“Ah, so modest.” Dad dramatically gripped his t-shirt in a fist where his heart was, and I rolled my eyes.

“Now this is his usual behaviour.” I said to Ace, and he laughed.

“She always has a comment to make towards my behaviour.” Dad nudged Ace with his elbow.

“Actually, me and my brothers are big fans of your comedy.” Ace turned to my dad with a charming smile.

“Oh dear, my heart is going to explode. But I’m a fan of your band, too.”

“No way, you are kidding me.” Ace’s brows raised in surprised, and his eyes lit with happiness. He looked at me in a way to confirm if my father was messing up with him or not.

“He is a fan, Ace.” I nodded with a smile.

“Damn... honestly if my brothers know that I’ve met you they would be so jealous.” Ace laughed in disbelief.

“Not to flex but I am a singer myself.” My dad stuck his nose in the air. Before I could say something, my dad started to sing and all I wanted in this moment was for the ground to open and swallow me whole. He might have been a very good comedian, but the same couldn’t be said for his singing.

“Dad, dad.” I called interrupting him. “I think Ace got it that you are vocally gifted, no need for more.”

“If you need a back singer, you could always call me.” He winked at Ace and who started to laugh. One thing about Ace that I adored was the fact that when he was truly feeling a certain way his whole body was showing it. Like right now, his boyish laugher filled up the room while his shoulders and stomach muscles were flexing. His smile was reaching his eyes, and I took a mental picture of this moment in my mind.

“I would definitely make this phone call Buggy.” Ace said once his laugher calmed.

“Talking about singing, have you heard my daughter singing?” Dad turned to me; his eyes filled with mischievous.

“Never.” Ace turned his attention to me as well.

“And you won’t.” I was quick to say.

“Ace, buddy – imagine this.” Dad wrapped his arm around Ace broad shoulders and started to paint a picture with his other hand. “Imagine a deaf person who gets their hearing back and then they hear my daughter sing. Tears start to fall from their eyes, but not from the beauty of her voice but because they are wishing to turn back time and never hear a sound again.” Ace looked at me and his face scrunched as he shook his head.

“Poor deaf person.” He said as he winked at me.

“Hey, I sing bad but not this bad.” I was quick to defend myself.

“You know when she was around four years old, she found an ukulele.” I covered my face with the palms of my hands as I could easily die from embarrassment knowing which story my father was about to tell him. “She then proceeded lock me in her bedroom and until she was done with the three hour performance which mind you ended with the words ‘daddy I think I’m going to shit myself’ I had to endure- ” I was quick to interrupt him as Ace heard enough. Ace on the other hand, had his head back as he was laughing hard while holding on his stomach.

“Dad... I think it’s time for you to leave.”  

“Oh, come on. You were adorable. Should I tell him your beans story from when you were nineteen.” My dad wanted to die tonight.

“Okay, that was enough.” I got up on my feet and went to grab my father to leave. Him and Ace tried to protest but dad got the hint.

“Well, Ace it was a pleasure to meet you and again thank you.” He grabbed his hand again and shook it before he got up. My mouth set in a hard line as I shoot my eyes to the door making my dad leave faster. “Okay, okay I’m leaving, relax.” Dad quickly put his jacket and boots. Ace got up and got closer to me and my dad.

“It was nice to meet you as well Buggy, hopefully we get to meet some time again.” Ace said to my dad who was at the door. I was wrapped in a crushing hug by him, and he wasn’t letting me go.

“Oh, we are meeting again this is for sure.” Dad realised me from his grip and grabbed the door handle to open the door. Just before he closed it, he stopped and looked at me and Ace. “And don’t forget condoms, I’m too young to become a grandpa.” Before I could curse my father, he the shut the door closed and his loud laugher could be heard in the hallway of the building.

“I-I’m so, so s-sorry.” I turned back to Ace who had the same was holding his laughter. “He was kidding, and he is too much sometimes, like he is such a diva.” I raised my hands in the air as I passed by Ace to go and sit on the couch. He shook his head, and laugher left his lips.

“I think his advice was pretty good.” Ace smirked as he sat next to me, propping one hand on the back of the sofa. I leaned on his shoulder and tilted my head to have a better look at him.

“Ha-ha, you two should do a stand up together.” I said with a mocking tone.  

“Oh, someone is sassy tonight.” Ace lowered his head a bit which led to his face coming closer to mine.

“You just met the diva who raised me, is a little sass too much now?” I raised my brow and fluttered my eyelashes.

“You are never too much, doll.” He cupped my cheek with his free hand and caressed it. Even though my pulse has increased because of how intimate it felt to be this close to him, but at the same time it felt so right and natural. I couldn’t help but wonder if he felt the same way. My eyes drafted to his lips, his full and alluring lips. They curved in a little smile and moved. I moved my eyes back to his eyes and questionably hummed as I didn’t hear what he said. He smirked and whispered him my ear.

“As I recall we have a movie to watch.”

“Yes, right.” I breathed out and quickly got up from the couch. Clearing my throat, I looked around and saw my laptop laying on my bed. I sat on my bed and opened it. “Okay, found it. Come.” I patted my bed without realising how me inviting him to come and sit on my bed might come off as. I looked at him and tilted my head to the bed. “Ace, come.” He finally got up and crossed the room in just six steps and stood in front of my bed. I moved and positioned myself next to the wall as I leaned my body on the headboard. Ace did the same as me, but he kept some distance, and then it hit me.

“U-um if you feel m-more comfortable on the couch we can move there.”

“Nah, it’s okay.” He said and pointed with his chin towards the laptop to play the movie.

“Oh my, I forgot to ask you if you want something to drink?” I slapped my face and put the laptop on the side as I got up quickly.

“Water is fine.” He called after me. I filled up two glasses with water and while walking toward the bed I drank half of mine. Standing next to the bed I handed Ace his glass and he thanked me while taking a sip of it. We put the glasses on top of the nightstand next to the bed. I went to the edge of the bed and crawed on it, leaning on the headboard again. “Can I finally see the movie?” His eyelids slightly drooped as the corners of his mouth turned up. I hummed and grabbed the laptop pressing play. The movie was five minutes long, so it didn’t take much time to watched it. The moment it ended I turned my head to Ace all on pins and needles for his opinion on the movie. He slightly leaned closer to me and looked in my eyes. “That was cute. Not gonna lie, I was rooting for the guy to get the girl.”

“Really?” I smiled biting my lower lip. He nodded. “But did you like it?”

“Yea, as I said it was a cute movie.” He crossed his arms across his chest making his biceps flex a bit.

“But...? I can sense the ‘but’.” I poked his bicep with my finger. He chuckled and took a deep breath.

“Okay you got me. It was a cute short movie okay, but you could do way better than this.” He tilted his head a bit, taking a better look at my face. “But this doesn’t mean that the movie was bad, it means I know you can go way beyond this and kill it.” His voice was low but also soft. I put the laptop on the side and lowered my head.

“Ace... can... can I hug you?” I quietly asked not daring to look at him as my face was flaming hot. He opened his arms and pulled me in a hug. I buried my head in his muscular chest and took a deep breath inhaling the scent of his perfume. “Thank you.” I whispered and tightened my arms around him. He softly hummed in response. I looked up and I saw how he was fighting the fatigue which was mixture of his long day and narcolepsy. “Are you tired? You can stay here, and I can sleep on the couch.”

“No... yes actually I’m tired but I haven’t taken my pills in like four days as I ran out of them and it’s really hard to fight the sleep right now.” His right hand ran circles on my back while with his left he was rubbing his eyes with the back of it. As much as I didn’t want to, I pulled away from his arms but still stayed closer to his body.

“Did you finish the song?” My voice was soft as I tired to keep it low, he was obviously going to fall asleep any second now.

“Mhh, wanna heard it?” He shook his head as he tried to wake himself up. I nodded eagerly as he pulled his phone from this back pocket.

“What is it called?”

“A little death.” Ace handed me his phone and I pressed play. Focused on the song, I still saw how his head flopped on the side as sleep took over him and I couldn’t help but cooed to myself. To be honest I wasn’t sure if he was asleep or he had an episode but I let him be as I listened to the song.

Touch me, yeah I want you to touch me there Make me feel like I am breathing Feel like I am human

I wondered who wrote the song. Knowing Ace I doubt it was him, he had told me he wasn’t into writing ‘romantic’ songs, so it was either Sabo or Law. The song finished and I heard Ace sleepy and raspy voice.

“Did you lik- fuck.” His eyes rolled back as sleep took over him again. I giggled, he was adorable and now I knew for sure that it wasn’t just fatigue from the long hours in the studio in the past few days, but he was in fact having little episodes. Ace jerked awake in a few seconds. “Yeah, so you liked it?” He tried to stand but I extended my had and stopped him.

“I can’t wait for you guys to realise it officially.” My lips curved into a smile. “Also sleep, you can’t drive like this.”

“No, I’ll go home just... just...” And another episode. I sighed no matter how stubborn he was his narcolepsy was taking over his body. His whole body jerked as he woke up again. “Just give me a minute or so okay.”

“Ace let me woman handle you.” I said teasingly with a light tone, and he rolled his eyes at me with a snort. “Now get up and get under the covers.”

“I can sleep on the couch.” He protested as he sat up on my bed, but I didn’t let him get up as I extended my hand and placed it on his chest.

“Ace, just get under the covers.” I said, shooting a pointed glance towards the bed.

“I’m with outside clothes.” He got up and crossed his arms, giving me a smart look.

“I need to wash my sheets anyway. Or just take your clothes off I won’t look.” I huffed, he was so stubborn.

“Yea, bet.” He raised his brow and took a step closer to me. With a smug smirk on his face, he took off his t-shirt tossing it on the bed. I was face to face with his hard muscular chest. My mouth ran dry as I draw in sharp breath and moved my eyes away from his body. The sudden urge to clench my thighs as I felt heat rushing to my core was painful. But I couldn’t move as I didn’t want to give myself away. “Hm, yeah... woman handling me.” He teased licking his lower lip. I cleared my dry throat and slowly looked at his face giving all my willpower not to trace my gaze down on his body.

“Stop flashing your titts around.” I hissed but my voice trembled. “You can’t be serious that you are leaving and driving at this state.”

“The episodes will go away soon, no need to worry.” He shrugged as he reached and ruffled the top of my head. I pushed his hand away and sighed annoyed. “Let’s just sit and talk until they go away.” Ace leaned closer to me which made me froze on my spot as the heat in my body haven’t left yet. But he did lean closer only to grab his t-shirt and put it back on. “Weren’t you the one insisting to get in bed? Go on.” He sat down on the bed and patted the side next to the wall for me to get on the bed and sit. I hopped on the bed quickly trying to ignore the wet patched that could feel formed on my underwear and leaned on the headboard. Pulling my legs closer to my body I couldn’t help but clenched my thighs. My eyes shut closed at the feeling it was too much, it was like a torture. My whole body was on fire and all he did was taking his shirt off. This wasn’t the first time I have seen him without one but this time it affected me differently. The lyrics of his new song stuck to my mind. ‘Touch me... just touch me...’ I was screaming inside my mind. As he could read my mind Ace placed his hand on my knee which made my body jerk away slightly as my eyes shot open. He had leaned on the headboard as well but this time he was closer to me. “You alright, doll?” His voice became deeper and raspier. I half nodded with a hummed. “You sure? You seem a little... breathless.” His mouth twitched and his dark brown eyes has gotten even darker. The hand that was placed on my knee slowly traced its way to the middle of my thigh, giving it a slight squeeze. If it wasn’t for the leggings I was wearing, probably my skin was going to be on fire. He knew. The look in his half-lidded eyes couldn’t fool me. I might be lightheaded right now because of my increased pulse and the ache between my thighs but Ace knew what he was doing. He was aware of the state he got me in, and he was enjoying it. “Say something, baby.” Baby? This was new, but the way he said it made it sound so sultry. I opened my mouth to say something, but he squeezed on my thigh once again which draw out a desperate whispered out of me. “What was that?” Tilted his head slightly acting as he didn’t hear what escaped my lips just seconds ago. I swallowed hard and licked my lips trying to think of something to say. Something to distract me from the fire within me.

“Why... why ‘A little death’?” I blurted out. My question was unexpected and while Ace pulled away from me a bit, his hand stayed on my thigh.

“It’s a translation from a French phrase.” His eyes shifted from mine as he turned his head slightly away. Now observing his side profile, it was even harder to read him.

“What is the phrase? What does it mean?” My voice came out as a whispered. A puff of air escaped his nose in a makeshift laugh.

“‘La petite mort’. It means post-orgasm sensation as likened to death.” His index finger was running small circles on my thigh, in a way I was experiencing my own little death.

“I didn’t know you speak French.”

“I don’t. But I know a thing or two.” He side glanced me with a smirk. With one last squeeze on my thigh, he suddenly got up from the bed straitened his back. “Okay, I’m going now.”

“No, stay.” I got on my knees on the bed and held on his hand. “I will sleep on the couch as I said, and you can ta-”

“(Y/N), no.” His tone was gentle but the look on his face was stern. Not only this but this time he turned to me with my name, something he barely ever did. “I’m going home and you are sleeping in your own bed.” I felt like a child who is being scolded by their parents. Lowering my head I let go of his hand and stood up from the bed. We walked to the entrance and didn’t say anything until Ace was at the door ready to leave as he put his boots and jacket on.

“Can you at least text me when you get home?” Leaning on the wall I didn’t dare to look at him. In a way I was exhausted of his sudden mood changes.

“Sure.” He replied as he opened the door. “Take care, doll.” Was the last thing he said to be before closing the door behind him.

Christmas came and went. Early in the morning today Shanks and I sent off my dad to the airport. The three weeks he had been here went by so fast, but it was so nice to be able to spend time with him again. We also got to meet Natasha over the holidays. She was so fun and nice. Having barely six years age difference between us we quickly found things we both like and we talked about going out together someday. Even after all the fun I had, Ace didn’t leave my mind for even a second. Since he was at my place last Sunday the only thing, we have texted each other was ‘Merry Christmas’ and it was me who reached out first. The burning sensation from Sunday night was still so fresh in my mind. Why did he tease me like that? Why didn’t he do anything when he was fully aware of the fact that I desired him, probably more than he did me. Was it because of our so called ‘friendship’? It’s not even a proper one so I doubt anything was going to change if we had lost ourselves in the moment. Or I was entirely wrong, and a lot was going to change if we had done something that night. Deep down I knew myself, he had already swept me off my feet, the fact that just seeing him shirtless got me all heated was enough to prove me that if something more was to happen in the past Sunday, maybe there was going to be a lot of regret after. Maybe Ace was right to stopped it before we both regrated it. Still nothing was changing the fact that I was into him, and this whole ‘friendship’ bullshit was killing me. At least if I knew if it was mutual ‘crush’ it would have been easier. If I knew that he only wanted to sleep with me maybe then I was going to take a step back and rethink if it was worthed, but no. I was out in the dark trying my best to read him and break his walls while every time I managed to break a single brick another thick wall was appearing.

It was around four pm when my phone rang. I put my book aside and grabbed the phone from the nightstand.

“Ace?” I said answering.

“Do you have any plans for tonight?” He blurted out.

“Mm, no. I’m just chilling at home. Why?”

“Cool, I will pick up at eight.” He said and didn’t give me any time to ask anything or protest before he hang up. I moved the phone from my ear and just blankly stared at it. Of course, he had ignored me for days only to storm back like a hurricane. The worst part was that I somehow enjoyed this. As mush as he was confusing, irritating and so suffocating to be around sometimes, he was also my favourite company. Whit Ace, I could be myself and not feel judged or unsafe. He might have been an asshole many times, but he was also caring, protective, fun and quite gentle when he wanted to be. Ace was a bit of everything, and he always found a way to make me melt for him even when I was all mad and irritated with him. Shaking my head trying to come on my sense as I realised, I sounded as if I was in love with him or something. I had four hours until he picks me up, so I continued reading until almost six. Then I got up from bed and got ready. I had no idea where or what we were going to do so I put a safe outfit. Just a pair of jeans and a white off shoulder blouse. It didn’t take me much to do my makeup or hair, so I was done getting ready quite fast. Until I received a message from him that he was downstairs I was scrolling on my socials. Putting my boots and coat on I grabbed a small handbag before I left. Going down the stairs I realise that I had to suffer another ride on his motorbike, which as much as I would have enjoy holding him while he drove us to whatever we were going, the weather was adding to my fear. Taking a step outside instead of seeing Ace leaned on his bike as always, he was leaning on a car. Not like I had a big knowledge about cars, but it was a sport car for sure. He smiled at me when he saw me and opened the door for me once I stood in front of him. I thanked him and got inside the car. Once he got inside and started the engine I took a better look at him. He wore some dark jeans with some grey sweater on and his red beams necklace around his neck. For a first time ever his hair was kind of styled but still messy. This man didn’t know how to take proper care of his curls.

“I didn’t know you have a car.” I finally broke the silence as we stopped on a red light.

“I don’t. It’s Sabo’s.” He glanced at me and winked.

“Oh, this explains the colour then.” I said looking out of the window.

“What do you mean?” Ace chuckled, his eyes back on the road as the traffic light changed to green.

“I can’t imagine you driving a white car. It just doesn’t say... you, it doesn’t say Ace... you get what I mean?” A chuckle escaped my lips.

“And what colour you think will suit me, doll?” He side-eyed me for a second.

“Something black, and big maybe like a jeep or a truck.” I had no idea what I was talking about all I wanted was to avoid traveling in uncomfortable silence, since what had happened on Sunday.

“I like sport cars like this one. I even thought about getting the same one.” Ace said as he lifted his shoulder in a half shrug.

“Where are you taking me by the way?” I shifted a bit on the passenger seat readjusting the seatbelt.

“A friend of mine and their band are performing in a small bar tonight. I saw it earlier today on Instagram and I thought to myself why not, then I called you and you said yes.”

“I never said yes.” My head tilted in his direction, and I saw the way he tried to hold his smile but failed.

“Nah, you did.” Ace said confidently like he didn’t know better than me that he literally gave me no choice. I opened my mouth to say something, but he turned to look at me and we both shared a laugher.

“You are bad at pretending, you know?” I teased him.

“When I want to be.” He replied.

Maybe after thirty minutes we arrived at a part of the city where I haven’t been in so far. It was quite far away from where I lived but it was quite nice. All the streets, even the smallest alleyways were decorated if not with Christmas lights, then with some kind of fairy lights. Ace parked the car on a rather busy street. Before I got the chance to open the door, he had already opened it for. He even gave me his hand as I got out of the car.

“You know you can be quite the gentleman when you want to.” I nudged him on the side as we started to walk. An exhale of breath in a makeshift laughter escaped his lips.

“You said it, doll. When I want to.” He pulled out a packet of cigarettes from his jacket and took out a cigarette lighting it.

“Isn’t smoking bad for your voice?” I didn’t get a verbal answer just a shake of his head. “Really?” I raised my brow as I crossed my arms in front of my chest.

“It is, but I not planning to quit them anytime soon.” He took another puff of his cigarette.

“You have a lot of bad habits.” I murmured with a smile.

“That’s my charm.” He came closer to me and wrapped his hand around my shoulder. Chills ran all over my body. He wasn’t even touching my skin, yet my body was ready to respond to him. What was going on with me? “We are here.” Ace threw his cigarette away and led me inside a... candy shop. “Trust me.” He let out chuckled as he held on to my hand and looked at me over his shoulder. We reached the end of the candy shop and there was a big door covered with different candy wrappers. Ace pulled the door open and there were stairs leading to a hidden bar. Music and chatter could be heard. “Come on, I’m here. You are safe.” He saw my hesitation and was quick to reassure me that I was going to be alright.

“Promise me you won’t leave me even for a second.” I gripped on his arm as anxiety started to build in me.

“I promise, doll.” His voice was gentle and sincere. I nodded with my head slightly without easing my grip around his hand, but he didn’t protest. The place wasn’t big and not very full. But it was only nine pm so maybe later there would be more people. For an underground bar the interior was very nice. The walls weren’t covered with any paint and were completely naked and it was all bricks. There were led lights on the ground colouring the walls with a golden glow making the place somehow cozy. Ace led me to the bar. Behind the bar counter the wall was divided with two arches which were covered with two big mirrors and all the alcohol they offered displayed on the shelves. “What do you want to drink?” Ace turned to me and moved a stand of my hair away from my face with his free hand.

“Just a coke zero, with a lot of ice, please.” I told him as my eyes were carefully observing the place. It wasn’t a shady place but so was the ‘Ska Stage’ yet my night there ended up in a hospital.

“Doll, I need to use both of my hands.” Ace said and I immediately let go of his hand. I apologised to him, but he brushed me off. He handed me the cola with a glass filled up with ice, while he held a bottle of non-alcoholic beer in his hand. Ace stood behind my back and pointed to a tall table where we could sit. We placed our drinks on the table and took off our jackets placing them on one of the chairs. Ace pulled his chair closer to mine and I was thankful of him and how mindful he was so far. I have relaxed for a bit but still I was a little nervous for later.

“What time is your friend performing?” I asked him while filling the glass with cola.

“Ten thirty if I remember correctly.” Ace took a sip of his beer.

“Have you been here before?” I took another look at the place. We sat between two column brick walls making the space around us a little private.

“Yes, I have. Me and the guys wanted to perform here at the beginning when we started but let’s say someone slept with the wrong person’s daughter.” He lowered his head as he tried to suppress his laugher.

“Oh my, Ace you are such a whore.” I said as my whole face cringed.

“Woah, woah, easy there. Who said it was me?” His brows raised in disbelief of my comment. “Believe it or not, but Deuce is not as innocent as he might look.” My mouth almost fell to the floor when he said this.

“No way it was Deuce.”

“I’m telling the truth.” He raised his hands in defence.

“I will ask Deuce about this.” I pointed my finger at Ace giving him a last chance to be honest.

“Damn, always the worst assumption about me, doll huh?” Ace shook his head, but the smile wasn’t leaving his face. “Okay, ask him, but I promise you, you will be apologising to me after.” He flicked me on the forehead. I pouted as he did so, and he just smirked.

“Do they play the same genre as you?” I was curious as I had never heard of the band performing tonight, but I supposed they were quite new.

“Nah, they are a pop band. I am a close friend with the vocalist, they are very good.”

“Better than you?” I teased him as I nudged his elbow with mine. Ace smirked as hummed left his lips.

“You could say this.”

“No, I don’t believe this.” I scrunched my nose and shook my head.

“Yea, stoke my ego, I love this.” Ace sarcastically said leaning closer to me. I rolled my eyes and pushed him away. My eyes caught something behind him, and I squinted to see better. Ace noticed and turned around to see what I was looking at.

“Are those there card games?” I asked and Ace hummed in response. “Do you wanna play?” I placed my hands on the table excitedly.

“Go grab whichever one you want.” He didn’t need to tell me twice as I jumped from the chair and went to look at the games. The one that caught my attention the most was called ‘answer or dare’ so I grabbed it and went back to Ace. I placed it on the table and with a little jumped I sat back on my chair. “What did you choose?” He took the game in his hand and observed it.

“So, you take a card from the black deck and there are four questions, and you choose which one to ask me and if I don’t want to answer I must do one of the dares from the red deck of cards.” I explained quickly as he started to pull the decks from the box. “Do you want to be first?”

“No, you can start.” He winked at me and took a sip of his beer. I nodded and reached to take a card from the black deck. The questions were either dirty or super boring, but I decided to start with something simple.

“Okay, this one: which is your celebrity crush?” I read the card and looked at him.

“I don’t have one.” His brows knitted as thought for a second but shook his head. “No, I really don’t have one.” Ace grabbed a card and smiled. He looked at me with a stone faced as he held the card hidden with his index and middle finger. “What’s the colour of your nipples?” He asked me with a overly sultry tone and I burst out laughing as I knew that there was no such question, but he was referring to a meme I had sent him a few weeks ago. He started laughing with me as I slapped him on the shoulder.

“You are awful.” I said in between laughter.

“Okay, okay. Sorry, doll. I will try to be serious.” He looked at the card between his fingers and read the question he set his mind on. “Did you have any nicknames growing up?” I was a little surprised that he set his mind on something boring and didn’t go straight to the spicy questions.

“Yes, I did, and it was given to me by Shanks and till this day he calls me by it.”

“And the nickname is...” Ace waved his hand to me to spit it out.

“Foxy...” I murmured as I looked away when I felt my cheeks heating.

“Wait, isn’t this also you Instagram name.” He poked me with his finger on the sides and I jumped on my spot with a yelp.

“Yes, this is where my name comes from.”

“Cute. Your turn.” Ace put his card aside and I took another. My eyes lit up as the card had the perfect question for him, something that always slipped my mind and I have wanted to ask him for a long time now.

“Tell the story behind the most embarrassing tattoo you have.” I giggled while reading the card. Ace groaned as he propped this head on the back of his hand. “I’ve actually been curious about this one for a long time now.” I said as he took a deep breath in before throwing his head up and biting on his lip.

“My one and only tattoo happened because I lost a bet against Sabo, and I don’t even remember what the bet was about anymore as it has been ten years now.” I propped my chin on my crossed fingers as I was all ears listening to his story. “Anyway, the loser was supposed to get a homemade tattoo whi-” I interrupted him immediately.

“What do you mean by homemade tattoo, is this even a thing?” My eyes widen, I was hundred percent sure there was no such thing as ‘homemade’ tattoo, this wasn’t some cake recipe.

“There is no such thing as a ‘homemade’ tattoo, but we called it that. Guess who the tattoo artist was?” He looked seriously at me waiting for my answer.

“S-Sabo?”

“I wish. It was Luffy.” He squeezed his eyes shut as I burst out laughing again.

“No, no, Ace, no.” I shook my head as I couldn’t stop laughing. Ace was just nodding his head as he bit on his lips.

“He was twelve, and apparently for twelve years he didn’t learn how to spell my name, which by the way I forgot to mention, I didn’t choose the tattoo, Sabo did.” Every time I thought this story couldn’t get worse Ace proved me wrong. “The misspelling isn’t the worst part, it got infected, and it was not only itchy but also painful. But yeah, after the infection went away, I went to a professional tattoo artist, and they covered Luffy’s messy handwriting so it can look better.” He lifted his shoulders once he was done with the story, and I cooed. I felt a little bad for him, it was a funny story, but he did suffer.

“Why didn’t you remove it?”

“It added more character to me.” He playfully raised his eyebrows and smirked. “My turn.” He said as he took a card from the deck. We continued with the game laughing and messing around. It was his turn again and he laughed mischievously as he read the card. “Oh doll, I think your first dare is coming.” He licked his lower lip as he looked at me. “What do you fantasize about when you... you know... show your body some love?” My face went blank when he read the question with a smug smile placed on his face.

“There is no way this is written on the card.” I snatched the card from his fingers because I was sure he was messing with me, but no. The questing was the real and way more uncensored than the way he asked me. I gave him the card back. “I’m not answering this.”

“I know.” He said and reached for a red card. His brows frowned as he read the dares on the card. “Okay, you choose between these two: sing your favourite song chorus or let me text whoever I choose from your contact list something.” I whined when I heard the dares, but there was no way I was singing in front of Ace, so I told him to take my phone from the pocket of my coat and text whoever he wants whatever as I also told him my password. His brows frowned for a second as he grabbed my phone but then he quickly typed something and put my phone back.

“Should I be worried what you texted?” I wasn’t worried at all to who he might have texted as much as what he might have texted.

“Nah, don’t worry, the person will know it’s from me.” He winked at me. We continued with the game before we got interrupted by someone tapping on Ace’s shoulder. Ace looked over his shoulder and his eyes lit up. “Izo! What’s up, bro?” He got up and bumped shoulders with the guy.

“Hey, Ace. Haven’t seen you in a while.” The tall dark-haired guy said. He turned to me and greeted me as well and I smiled at him.

“Oh, this is (Y/N).” Ace was quick to introduce me. Izo reached with his hand to shake mine as he introduced himself. “What’s brings you here?”

“My boyfriend is friend with one of the band members and we came to listen to them tonight.” He pointed with his thumb behind him where his boyfriend was. “Oh, Ace.” Izo excitedly exclaimed. “He was at your show in the ‘Ska Stage’ and he said you guys were phenomenal. Sadly, I had an emergency from work, and I couldn’t come, but he showed me some videos he took that night and you guys killed it.”

“Yea, even I was satisfied with this performance, so thank you man.” Ace boyishly laughed as he ran his hand through his hair. Someone called for Izo and he turned to see that his friends were calling for him.

“If you guys want to join us, please do.” His eyes shifted between Ace and me. Ace looked at me over his shoulder before he turned back to Izo.

“Some other time man.” Ace told him and Izo quickly got what was going on.

“No worries, guys. Still, you can join us at any time.” He waved us a quick goodbye before he went back to his boyfriend and friends. Ace sat back and smiled.

“You wanna continue with the game?” He asked me but I shook my head. I took a better look around us and noticed how the place was almost full. Until now I didn’t even realise it as I was too focused on the game and Ace. “I will go and get us some more drinks, do you want the same?”

“Yes, and a lot of ice. But... um..” My eyes shifted around, and Ace got the hint immediately.

“You will be able to see me the whole time and I will be looking towards your direction as well.” He reassured me as he placed his hand on my bare shoulder.

“No, this is okay, don’t worry... it’s just...” I felt really awkward as I didn’t know how to say it without sounding like a baby. “I need to go to the restroom.” I mumbled under my breath. Until I noticed how many people have come, I was alright but now my anxiety and Izo mentioning the ‘Ska Stage’ triggered something in me.

“Okay, let’s go first there and I will wait for you outside or do you want me to speak with some girl to come with you inside as well?” Not only his voice but even his eyes were soft and full of concern.

“Just you waiting outside is enough.” I replied. Ace nodded and wrapped his arm around my shoulder as I hopped off the chair and we walked to the toilets. He let go of me once we reached the women’s restroom and I got inside. Thankfully there was no queue, so I got inside fast. After I washed my hands, I checked myself in the mirror, everything was on its place even my hair. Ace was waiting for me outside the lady’s restroom as he promised. “Thank you.” I whispered once I stood in front of him. He gave me half a smile and we walked back to the table. Then he went to get us another round of non-alcoholic drinks, which I appreciated because it was nice to be outside and have fun time without alcohol. And so far, tonight I was enjoying myself, and by the looks of it so did Ace. While I was waiting for him to come back, I checked my phone. I had two messages – one from Luffy and one from Dave. The one from Luffy was just ‘Ace xDD’ so I guessed, Ace texted him when he had my phone, and the one from Dave was ‘What time should I pick you up tomorrow?’

“Tomorrow?” I said out loud to myself. It took me a moment to remember that we were going to see a movie. Quickly I responded to him that he can pick me up an hour or so before the screening.

“Hmm, texting the boyfriend?” I jumped on my seat as I didn’t notice that Ace was back. He put the drinks on the table, and I thanked him before I asked what he meant by this.

“What boyfriend?” I snored.

“David or whatever his name was.” Ace smirked before taking a sip of his beer, but the small eyeroll didn’t escape my sight.

“Dave.” I corrected him, as a little sound like laugher puff escaped my nose. “And he is my friend.”

“I’ve heard something else.” He side-eyed me. The smirk was still on his face but the smugness which usually came with it wasn’t present.

“Find a better source then.” I grumbled as I turned my head away from him and crossed my arms in front of my chest.

“Easy there, doll. Did I step on your tail or something?” His voice was teasing and mocking at the same time. Placing his hand on top of my crossed ones I only glanced at him.

“What have you heard and from who?” The irritation in my voice was more than clear.

“Usopp mentioned you are going on a date with him, so I thought something is going on between you two.” Ace removed his hand from mine and took another sip of his beer. “By the way you react something is obviously going on.” He murmured under his nose. My eyes widen from what I just heard.

“Wait, what? What date? How did Usopp knew about this?” The realisation slapped me like a wet mop in the face. “No, no, no. Fuck, no.”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t know it was a date.” Ace said seriously and I just shook my head. He bit the insides of his cheeks as he tried to contain his laugher.

“It’s tomorrow and no I had no idea, he just said wanna go see the screening of ‘Interstellar’ and I said yes, because it’s one of my favourite movie.” Slapping myself wasn’t enough and Ace laughing wasn’t helping. “Ace it’s not funny. He is a very good guy, and I don’t want to lead him on.” I whined.

“Doll, how did you not get the hint?” He gave me a sincere look as he placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it gently. “Damn, even I feel bad for the guy now.”

“If I knew it was a date I would have never said yes.” I leaned my head on his hand and pouted. “I will text him to cancel.” Unlocking my phone determined to cancel the ‘date’, Ace snatched it from me. “Hey, give it back.” I protested instead he just put it in the back pocket of his pants. “Ace what are you doing? It’s not funny, give it back.”

“Don’t cancel. Go on the date.” Hearing this felt like someone was driving a nail into my heart with a hammer. The small smile placed on Ace’s face wasn’t helping. I did in fact not get hints, because tonight got my hopes up for a moment, but he couldn’t make it more clear than now – we were never going to be anything more than friends. “You never know you might have quite lot of fun. Give the guy a chance.” He winked at me and another nail was hammered into my foolish heard. Swallowing hard I placed a big fake smile on my face.

“He is my friend, Ace, I don’t want to hurt him by leading him on.” I moved my gaze away as I didn’t want to look into his eyes. “After all, playing with someone’s feeling is one of the worst things you can do to a person.” There was a lot of hidden meaning behind my words which I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to catch on it or not.

“Doll –“ He couldn’t finish his sentence as everyone started applauding. We looked at each other and Ace smiled. “I think they are starting. Come.” He held his hand for me to take and I did as I hopped of the chair. Making our way to the small stage Ace stood next to me with his hand around my shoulder, a very friendly gesture. There were quite lot of people around us and it was calming to have Ace keeping me close to him as it made me feel secure. I tried to shake away the pang of pain in my heart and enjoy the night. On the small podium were three people – three boys and a girl.

“Which one is your friend?” I slightly tilted my head towards Ace. He looked down at me and then at the stage pointing with his chin at the girl.

“Yamato – they are great.” I moved my eyes to the stage looking at them. They were tall and very fit. A big grin was placed on their face as they were greeting everyone. They were dressed in a super baggy light blue jeans and a Nirvana sleeveless top with their white hair with blue highlight up in a ponytail. The guys behind them were matching their outfit but in different shades of colour. The guy on the drums raised his hands in the air and counted with his drumsticks three times before they started playing. The melody filled up the space and everyone cheered.  

I'm trying to tell you I'm trying to know you I'm dying to show you Fighting to get you

Their voice was a lot softer than Ace’s but still they were as good as Ace clamed they were.

Soon as you got me You go and drop me It's cool when you burn me I love how you hurt me

Listening carefully to the lyrics I found it ironic. I was strongly relating to the feelings Yamato was singing about.

It's not what you said It's the way you say it It's not what you did It's the way you do it

I couldn’t help but look at Ace. He was enjoying himself, singing along, even tapping with his right foot to the rhythm of the music. Sick and tired of needing your affection I chose to be lonely than live without your attention

The more I was listening to the lyrics the more my heartbeat was increasing.

I scratch your sweet name Right into my skin You left me bleeding But I couldn't give in

The skin on my shoulders was burning with every squeeze, every little movement of his fingers and every time he would run his hand a little up and down along my arm. I wasn’t sure who to curse - myself for choosing an open shoulders blouse or Ace for having this effect on my body.

I swallowed the poison to get infected Give back my heart that your body rejected

I have lost count how many times Ace has started something only to rejected me, and I haven’t realised it or at least I didn’t want to admit to myself as I continued to believe that maybe... just maybe... something might happen between us. But he made it clear – friends. Nothing more, nothing less. After all he did tell me to go on a date with another guy just minutes ago.

I'm standing in the pain That's smothering me It's more becoming my own blood Why can't you see?

While he was lost in the song, I was lost in him. I couldn’t take my eyes away from him. I wasn’t the best in faking what I was feeling. Why he couldn’t realise that this ‘friendship’ was not working. This friendship was doomed from the start.

That I'm starving for your love And I need attention Or I'm going to die

Nothing could have prepared me for what crossed my mind. ‘Why couldn’t have I fallen for Dave, instead I fell for you Ace?’ It was like someone splashed me with a bucket with ice cold water. Chills run all over my body when the thought crossed my mind. I had fallen for Ace. I took a step back from Ace, and he turned to look at me. He pulled me closer to him and leaned closer to me, almost pulling my entire body close to his.

“Is everything alright, baby?” He whispered in my ear but from standing so close to me and the music I couldn’t hear him. His breath tickling my skin making it having goosebumps all over. Breath caught in my lungs I tried collecting myself as fast as possible I placed both of my hands on his chest and locked my eyes with his.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you.”

“Are you okay?” He pulled me even closer and now my entire body was pressed to his as his hand fell from my shoulder to the middle of waist. I nodded my head and awkwardly chuckled.

“Yes, why wouldn’t I be?” He raised his eyebrow doubtfully. Raising on my tiptoes I whispered to him. “Your friend is great.” Pulling back from him still bodies locked he smiled at me.

“I told you.” Ace said removing his hand from my waist and taking a step back. “Wait to hear the rest of their songs.” And he was right. The band was great. The realisation, the feelings they were here, and they weren’t going to fade away anytime soon, so instead of worrying about it now, I decided to just savour the moment with Ace. Everyone was dancing and singing, even me and Ace. Finishing the song everyone applauded, and Yamato spoke on the microphone.

“A special shout out to one of my most dear friends – Ace, who I spot in the crowd. The next song is a special one, as he helped me writing it. So, for you Ace and the pretty girl next to you.” They happily exclaimed on the mic and winked at us with a big smile on their face. Ace’s boyish laughter left his lips as Yamato dedicated the song to us. I bounced on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me so he could hear me better as the song started.

“Did you help writing the whole song?” My eyes filled up with excitement as I was always looking forward for the songs he had written as I knew that when he writes he means and feels it.

“Nah, only the chorus. They are giving me too much credit.” He replied as he turned me around and stood behind me with his hands on my waist. Even though we were dancing until now we didn’t cross any lines, but with his hands on my waist all the thoughts I put aside, run back to my mind and my whole body went numb.

I'm gonna get hurt I'm gonna get hurt

The song was quite heartbreaking if you ignore the quick pop-electro tempo, and you were listening to the lyrics.

Keep playin' my heartstrings faster and faster You can be just what I want, my true disaster

Ace was singing along the chorus with them while his hands didn’t leave my waist for even a second. I leaned my body on his while we were swaying to the rhythm, placing my hands on top of his as he wrapped them around me. ‘Just savour the moment’ was a constant thought in my mind tonight. Sometimes in life what we want and what we get were not always the same thing. I couldn’t blame Ace for the way I felt towards him as he had warned me from the beginning – just friends. Lost in thought I didn’t realise the song had finished and so did the performance until I heard loud applauses around me. Ace pulled away and nodded me to follow him. He led me towards where his friend was as he held me by the hand. His big, yet soft hand felt so good wrapped around my fingers.

“Yamato.” He called out loud. They turned around and their eyes lit up at the sight of Ace.

“Ace.” They screamed and run towards him wrapping their arms around him. Ace returned the hug with one hand only as he wasn’t letting go of mine. “I haven’t seen you in almost two months man, where the hell have you been?” Yamato pulled away and grabbed Ace by the shoulders shaking him. Ace laughed in response as he let go of my hand and then placed it again around my shoulders.

“I’ve been busy with the band, you know how it is.” He chuckled raising his shoulders in a half shrug. “This is (Y/N), by the way.” He introduced me and Yamato’s eyes quickly shifted to me as a big smile spread across their face.

“Nice to finally put a face to the name. I’m Yamato.” They reached for a handshake. Up this close they were slightly taller than Ace and they didn’t even wear heels. I took their hand with a smile and shook it. Also, did they just said, ‘put a face to the name’? Has Ace mentioned me? No, no way he had. They probably meant to say, ‘a name to the face’.

“Nice to meet you, Yamato. Your band is great. And I’m in love the first song you sang, I’m adding it to my playlist.” I returned the big smile.

“Thank you, Ace hates it.” They crossed their arms in front of their chest and stuck their nose in the air, winking at me.

“Don’t listen to them, I love the song.” He said as he rolled his eyes. “You killed it tonight.” Ace fist bumped them on the shoulder and Yamato returned it but instead on the shoulder they hit him on the stomach. I felt and saw how Ace’s muscles tense as Yamato wasn’t being light with their punches.

“We used to go kickboxing together, he is fine don’t worry.” Yamato turned to me as they noticed my reaction to their strange encounter. Their bandmates called out for them and Yamato groan. “Are you leaving immediately? We can grab a drink or two.” Their smile widened and eyes filled with a sparkle. Yamato was full of energy like they had just woken up. Ace looked at me asking me with his eyes if I wanted to stay longer or not.

“It’s up to you.” I gave him a small smile.

“We aren’t in a hurry.” He said as he winked at me.

Walking back to the car, Ace and I were laughing loudly. I almost tripped which caused him to get a hold of me and balance me back, which lead to more giggles. We had stayed until the bar closed, talking and laughing with Yamato and their bandmates. Them and Ace had been friends for almost five years now and both had found themselves in quite questionable situations.

“Shh, quiet we might wake people up.” I said in between giggles trying to catch my breath from all the laughter. Ace glanced at me and mischievous grin appeared on his face.

“Help, someone, help sh-” He screamed on top of his lungs, but I was quick to cover his mouth with my hands.

“Ace.” I hissed with laugher and looked up to see if we had woken up someone. It was almost three am and even though we haven’t drunk any alcohol it felt like we were drunk. The whole laughing uncontrollably situation started as we went out of the bar and some guy fell in the candy shop knocking two shelves of candies with him. Thinking about it now didn’t seem so funny but five minutes ago seemed like the funniest thing on earth. Ace murmured something in my hand bringing my attention back to him. “What?” Instead of an answer I received a little bite but sharp bite on my palm. “Ouch, are you a vampire or something?” I pulled my hand back and a little bite mark was left on the inside of it.

“I barely bit you.” He took my hand and observed the mark. “You will live, doll.” Winking at me he pulled out the keys for the car from his jacket and opened the car. Ace opened the door for me and I thanked him as I got inside the car. Closing the door and going to the driver’s side once he sat down and shut the door, we looked at each other and laughter burst out again. Ace took a deep breath and started the car. He turned to me and stared at my eyes for a moment.

“What is there something on my face?” I joked as I noticed the way he observed me. Eyes half lidded with a little half smirk on his eyes.

“Nah, your face is flawless as always, doll.” My heart skipped a beat, from all the laughter his voice sounded a little raspier, but adding to the sound of his voice what he said to me add to the blush on my face. Rasing my eyebrow at him questionably he looked at the road and then back to me. “Are you in hurry to go home, after all tomorrow you are going to be busy.” His tone was cocky and mocking but his eyes weren’t. There was something in them that I couldn’t put my finger on what it was, but it wasn’t mockery or teasing. Rolling my eyes knowing what he implied by me being ‘busy’ tomorrow I shook my head. “Would you let me take you somewhere with quite nice view at this hour?” And the smugness in his voice and eyes was back.

“Why aren’t you already driving us there is the question.” I teased him. Ace snorted a laugher and started the car. He offered me his phone to play whatever music I wanted but I choose to go through the radio channels instead. Twenty minutes into the drive, I was still changing the radio every thirty seconds. Ace glanced at me for a second before returning his eyes to the road.

“Doesn’t anything suit your music taste?” He asked with a chuckled.

“No, I just don’t know what I want to listen to.” I whined changing yet again the stations. Ace sighed and just shook his head. “What?” Glancing at him he just smiled and slightly shrugged.

“It’s not like I didn’t offer you my phone to play something...” He murmured under his breath. I lightly slapped his shoulder with the back of my hand, receiving a huffed laughter from him. Looking out of the window for a moment, I noticed that we were in the outside skirt of the city.

“Where are we going?” I turned to Ace who was focused on the road, which had a lot of curves and trees surrounding it.

“You will see.” He replied. I took a good look of his face – he had a little playful smile on it, which meant that he had something in mind. Pressing the screen again to change to another radio channel I heard familiar melody. I smiled as I recognised the song and leaned on my seat.

She said, "Hello, mister, pleased to meet ya" I wanna hold her, I wanna kiss her

I heard Ace chuckled as he also recognised the song. He increased the volume and started tapping on the steering wheel with his fingers.

She'd drive me crazy, she'd drive me crazy

We both stared humming the song.

Gonna take her for a ride on a big jet plane

I glanced at Ace. His eyes were on the road, but his mind was somewhere else. I couldn’t help but smile as he started to sing quietly as he was lost in his own thoughts.

Be my lover, my lady river Can I take ya, take ya higher?

His voice was so different when he sang – the usual raspiness couldn’t be heard at all, instead it was so smooth and alluring. Closing my eyes and relaxing on the seat, all enchanted by his voice. I was quietly murmuring to myself the lyrics. My favourite part of the song was about to come by my breath hitched. My eyes shoot open when I felt Ace’s hand on my thigh close to my knee. He squeezed it gently as he sang along with the song.

Gonna hold ya, gonna kiss ya in my arms Gonna take ya away from harm

His eyes didn’t move even for a second from the road, but the way his muscles trembled and the way the expression on his face hardened didn’t escaped my sight. ‘What’s going on in your mind Ace?’ It felt like the most natural thing in the world to just reached out and run my fingers on the nape of his neck. I felt him tensed and relax at the same time. He side glanced me and gave me a half smile, which didn’t reach the corner of his eyes. There was no trace of his charming or smugness in it, there was only bitterness in it. Taking his hand away from my thigh he placed it on top of mine and gently squeezed it as he removed it from his nape and placed it on my knee. The pang I felt in my chest was agonizing. With two hands back on the wheel the car felt in silence even with the music on the background. And he switched again... Lowering my head I stared at my fingers as I nervously played with them in my lap. I wanted to slap myself. Why did I do this? Why couldn’t I stop myself instead of ruining everything. ‘Good job (Y/N), good job.’ Cursing myself wasn’t enough. At this point I should have learned that him displaying any physical intimacy with me meant nothing, as Nami had said – Ace was a big flirt. Maybe he didn’t even realise it or if he did, he meant it in a different way, whatever this way might have been.

My thoughts were interrupted as I felt the car stopped moving. Ace cleared his throat making me glanced at him from under my lashes. He had taken his seatbelt off and turned his body slightly towards me with one arm resting on the steering wheel. Pointing to me with his eyes to the windshield. I followed his gaze and gasped. We were on a very high hill on the side of the road. From here half of the Grand Line city could be seen. Not only the city lights, but the sky was so clear tonight making the moon and the starts shined bright. While we were surrounded by the tall trees from the forest. I was in an awe. It was beautiful.

“How did you find this place?” My voice came out as a whispered.

“By chance.” Ace replied, voice deep but not loud. “I know you don’t smoke but wanna come outside with me for one quick cig?” Tearing my eyes away from the view I half nodded. We went out of the car and propped on the front of it, keeping a distance between each other. It has gotten colder than it was before but the fact that we were this high was adding to the coldness. Wrapping my arms around myself and tightening the coat around me, I didn’t do it only to protect myself from the cold air but the cutting silence, too. Ace lighted up his cigarette and took a long puff from it.

“Shit, I forgot to give you this back.” He said as he pulled my phone from his back pocket. I took it from him and saw that I had a message from Dave but choose to ignore it and answer it later. The silence was killing me so taking a deep breath and chuckled awkwardly. Ace blowed the cigarette smoke away and glanced at me with a raised eyebrow.

“You know what this reminds me of?” I asked gesturing with my hands to the view in front of us. He shook his head and waited for my response. “Have you seen ‘La La Land’?” I didn’t dare to look at him so I kept my eyes on the view but still could see a little bit of him with my peripheral vision. Ace hummed.

“Yea, and?” He took another drag.

“Well, you know the hill where they were going all the time, this place here gives me the same vibes.” I chattered. Taking a better look at the view in front of us Ace let out a chuckle.

“You know, I can actually see it. You are right.” He took one last puff of the cigarette and threw it on the ground and stomped it. Silence took over once again. The city lights were flickering, and we were surrounded by tall trees and small bushes. I wasn’t sure how long we stayed in silence until something moved in the bush in front of us. Scream left my lip as I instinctively jumped to Ace for protection. He was quick to straiten his position and caught me in his arms as I squeezed my eyes shut burying my face is his chest. Soft boyish laughter escaped his lips.

“Don’t laugh what if it’s a snake.” I squealed jumping on one foot to the other.

“Calm down and turn around, doll.” He chuckled and turned my body around. Hearing a quiet ‘meow’ I opened my eyes and cooed. It was a little stray orange kitten. Slowly but steady it made its way to us, or I should say its way to Ace. The moment it reached Ace, it started rubbing itself on his leg. Ace giggled and squatted down immediately to pet the kitty. “Hey, there. Aren’t you beautiful?” It was like the kitty knew what Ace was telling it and stared meowing. “Yes, yes you are pretty.” I crouched next to him to take a better look at the kitty but also pet it.

“It’s a she.” I said as the kitty had its tail up in the air. “She is quite found of you.” I chuckled as the kitty was purring from his touch.

“What can I say I have this effect on the kittens.” Ace turned to me with a wink. I rolled my eyes at his lame line.

“Cringe” I said yet couldn’t deny him this, he was right.

“You are probably hungry, aren’t you princess? What are you doing here all alone?” The kitty turned on its belly and Ace started tickling her. This was so cute my heart couldn’t take it. “I’m sorry I don’t have any food with me. No, no she doesn’t have as well.” A giggle escaped my lips as it was just so adorable watching him speaking to the kitty with his softest voice like it could understand him. I stood and pulled my phone and took a quick video of their interaction. “Hey, no paparazzi.” Ace turned to the camera with a big grin on his face as he continued playing with the kitten. “No, princess I can’t take you home.” He said to the kitten as it was back on its paws. It meowed at him pleadingly. “I know, I know. But I can come tomorrow and bring you some food, you will be here, right?” The kitty meowed once more, and Ace petted it one last time before it went away. He got back on his feet and wiped his hands on his jeans.

“This was adorable.” I cooed as I leaned closer to him. He looked at me and smirked.

“I wasn’t kidding when I said that cats love me. Literally if there is a cat around it always comes to me and ignores everyone else.” The big smile on his face was like of a kid who just win the biggest toy from the scammer carnival games. “I’m like a magnate for them.” He nudged me with his elbow, and I clicked with my tongue nudging him back. I wasn’t sure how or when somewhere between Ace starting to tickle me and me trying to fight him, I got pinned on top of the front of the car. Hovering over me Ace smirked.

“You know you can’t beat me on playing fight, right?” He let go of my arms and I slowly rose propping on the car while Ace stood in front of me.

“This doesn’t mean that I can’t try.” I teased as I tried to sneak attack him by poking his belly, but he was fast to catch my wrist before I could do it.

“Nice try, doll.” He leaned closer to me. I smirked back and stood up lifting my head to have a better look at him. I was so lost in our little banter that I didn’t realise straight away how close we were to each other. Thanks to the reflection of the lights coming from the city below us I was able to observe his face as much as the light allowed me. I was so used to his freckles that sometimes I forgot how adorable they made him look. The way they were covering mostly the top of his cheeks and a little bit of his nose. And those dark brown eyes, which were staring back at me, I could get lost in them for hours. As much as I tried to fight the building desire in me my eyes trailed down to his lips – his full, perfectly shaped lips. Licking my lips I swallowed hard. This close I could feel his hot breath that was causing goosebumps all over my body. With all my willpower I tore apart my eyes from his lips back to his eyes. But his eyes weren’t on me, they were on my lips. My breath got caught in my lungs as his eyes shoot back to mine. ‘Kiss me.’ I was screaming inside my head. ‘Kiss me. Touch me.’ I was burning, I wanted to scream at him on the top of my lungs. ‘Take me right here and right now.’ He wasn’t stupid, I knew Ace could feel it too, the desire, the burning, the increased pulse – the pleading in my eyes.

“Don’t look at me like this.” He said, his face was hard like a stone and unreadable. His tone was cold and pleading at the same time. Even his eyes – there was something I have never seen in them before, but I couldn’t read what it was.

“Look at you how?” I couldn’t find my voice as my mind was running wild.

“Don’t play dumb, doll. It doesn’t suit you.” His head turned to the side as he looked at the sky.

“I’m not playing dumb, Ace. Look at you how exactly?” I could feel the pulse and the blood rushing through all over my body. Instead of responding he took a step back and went to open the passenger door of the car.

“Let’s call it a night, plus it’s cold.” He held the door open and didn’t even bother to look at me, while his tone was stern and cold. I licked my lips and nodded slowly. Of course, the same old repeating cycle. I slowly walked to the opened door of the car and stood in front of him.

“How did I look at you, Ace?” I didn’t want to fight with him, so I kept my voice smooth and calm. Turning his head away from me again, I grabbed his jaw gently and made him face me. He snatched his face from my hand immediately. “Answer me.” I knew how I looked at him, I knew what I wanted, and I still did, but I wanted him to say it and to give me an answer to why it was a problem. After all... this friendship was doomed from the beginning and after tonight maybe there wasn’t going to be anything left from it.

“(Y/N) get in the car, before you make me do something I would regret later..." He exhaled deeply. "Please...” I got in the car, and he closed the door.

The drive to my place was long... too long. The entire time we didn’t said anything to each other. If I knew that this night would have ended like this, I would have never gone out. The whole car ride I was fighting with the tears in my eyes. I couldn’t sort a single thought of mine and I didn’t want to deal with it right now. All I wanted was to get home.

My street came to the view, and I unbuttoned the seatbelt before he even stopped the car in front of my place. The moment he stopped the car I jumped out of it without saying a word to Ace, and ran as fast as I could to my building entrance slamming the door shut after me the same way he slammed my heart to the ground tonight.

END NOTE: Damn… what a roller coaster, right? I hope you got enjoyed it and had fun with their little conversations and moments as much as I did while writing it. This chapter was supposed to be even longer but I decided to leave the bitter feeling for the next one hihihi ♡

As always feel free to comment, like, reblog as your opinion matters for me ♡ Big shout out to my biggest and loud supporters @3rtxaa @orange-milky @lilink @worstgenerationloser @yourfavarii @chimjii (I’m so sorry if I’m forgetting to tag someone please I appreciate and see every one of you and I send you all the love and hugs in the world 🥹🫶) THANK YOU GUYS FOR READING AND SUPPORTING THIS STORY. I’m not sure it it was going to get far without you.

writing, format & dividers © eand47 fanart @a_phu14 on IG ©eand47, do not copy or plagiarise my work.

[babyleostuff]

Hiii!!! so I just read your cheol fic when he was being a dick for his s/o caring (it hurts... it's the beginning of the title, sorry brain is fried from uni) I was wondering if we could get the in-between of the fight like in the practice room after s/o left and everyone was shocked. mingyu fought him?? like gotta know what happened, anyway sorry if this is too long

hope yoyr day, night, evening, morning, or whatever time it is for you is going well!! your writing is so captivating too btw

-Nabi

thank you so much for your request 💜 hope you enjoy this!

you can find part 1 here

HURTS SO BAD | PART 2 | CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

summary | seungcheol’s pov from my previous fic

genre | angst

word count | 1k

pairing | choi seungcheol x gn!reader

“Fuck you, Seungcheol.”

Instantly, as these words escaped your mouth, he regretted every single thing he just said, praying that he could somehow turn back time. But there was nothing he could do now, the damage was done, and he simply watched you leave with a heartbroken expression.

He wanted nothing more than to crumble into a small ball and hide somewhere far from here. 

Despite the music still playing from the speakers, the silence in the room was almost deafening. Seungcheol could feel the hard stares from the boys, as they tried to wrap their heads around what just happened. 

“Did you actually lose your mind?” Jeonghan was the first to speak up. Seungcheol didn’t dare to look up and face the disappointed expressions of his friends. 

“Never in all those years we have been together have you ever said anything so cruel, no matter how fuck up things were. And now you lash out at your, mind you, partner for being worried about you?” Jeonghan scoffed, clearly angry at his bandmate. 

Seungcheol knew that there was nothing he could say or do to make this situation better, he only stood there with hunched shoulders and a tight throat. 

“What has gotten into me,” he thought.

Yes, he was stressed as hell, and everything irritated him lately, but he swore he would never take his anxiety out on you. Well, until now. 

The jacket you threw at him caught his attention, laying abandoned on the floor. Is this how you feel right now - left behind and neglected, by the person who was supposed to love you no matter what? He took a step to pick it up, still feeling the warmth of your body coming from it. 

“I’m going to fix this,” Seungcheol said quietly, putting the fabric to his chest. 

“Did I hear you right, hyung? You’re going to make it right?” laughed Mingyu, approaching the older one. “You just yelled at your partner and told them the worst things you could have ever possibly said. We can put up with your bitchy behavior, but that’s not an excuse to treat them like shit,” he said, clearly very agitated by the whole affair. 

“Let it go Mingyu, he knows what he has done. It’s his problem now how he’s going to get out of this shit,” said Jihoon, putting an arm on the taller’s shoulder to calm him down. 

“Yeah, but it doesn’t change the fact that he just basically emotionally abused one of my best friends.” 

“Hey, don’t you fucking dare saying I abused them in any way,” Seungcheol raised his voice at at younger boy, his emotions getting out of hand. “I know what I have done, and I’m going to make it right again,” he said, not exactly convinced himself. 

“So what, you think you'll buy them flowers, pout and make puppy eyes, and they'll forgive you?” he scoffed and crossed his arms, making him look bigger than he already was. 

“No, making puppy eyes is your thing, I’m not that cheap,” Seungcheol fired right back at him. 

With each exchange between Seungcheol and Mingyu the tension only escalated, the atmosphere becoming charged with a mix of anger, frustration, and hurt. Their tones harsh and cutting, both of them tried to defend their position. Sadness, and disappointment were evident on their faces, further fueling the intensity of the situation. 

“I messed up, alright? But you're acting like I hurt them on purpose-.” 

“Well, to us it looked like you wanted to-.” 

“Could you just stay the fuck away from my relationship and focus on your shitty love life?” 

The rest of the boys, who were skeptically watching what was going on, knew this wouldn’t end well. Mingyu might have been passive most of the time, letting the others walk over him and still not batting an eye, but when it comes to his friends and their well being, he wouldn’t just stand around and watch. 

Wonwoo who was standing by the mirrors slowly came up to Mingyu and patted his back. 

“There is no use Mingoo, you’re not helping here,” he said sternly. 

“Well, I have the right to be angry.” 

“No one said you didn’t, but let’s not add more fuel to the fire, okay?” 

Mingyu glared at Seungcheol for the final time, before turning around and walking out of the room. 

“I’m going to check up on him,” said Mingaho. 

As the tension evaporated the second Mingyu left, Seungcheol could feel his anger turn to sadness and powerlessness. Now not only has he hurt you, but also his friend, who was so dear to him. 

Seungcheol felt trapped, not knowing what to do next and feeling extremely mentally and emotionally drained. He sighed deeply with a blank stare, drained from all of his usual energy. 

With the silence still apparent, everyone parted ways to give Seungcheol some space. Only Jeonghan and Joshua stayed by his side, not knowing what to do. 

“What am I supposed to do now?” asked the oldest, with a tired voice. 

“We’re all here for you, Coups and you're not alone in this. Don’t worry about Mingyu for now, he’ll come around,” said Joshua. “Take a deep breath and try to think clearly about this.” 

“It's just that everything seems to be going wrong, and I feel like I have no control over it.”

“We know, but you should have just talked to them. Why didn’t you do it? Why did it have to come to this Coups?” asked Jeonghan. 

“I don’t know, I really don’t. I thought I was stronger than this, that it would pass and everything would be okay. I just didn’t want to be a burden to them.” 

“Well that didn’t end up too well,” said Joshua, laughing at Seungcheol’s pouting face. 

“Thank you for being here for me. I really need that right now.”

“Of course! That's what family is for. But that doesn’t change the fact that we’re all so pissed at you right now,” said Jeonghan. 

“Yeah, for a second there I thought Mingyu was going to punch me or something,” chuckled Sungcheol. 

“I wish he did,” muttered Joshua, and walked away quickly before the oldest could respond. 

“I’m going to make this right,” thought Seungcheol. “No matter what it takes.” 

[gorgonwrites]

neuvillette headcanons

NSFW below the cut! minors DNI. 18+

author's note: ME AND BESTIE BACK AT IT AGAIN! oh gods, this beautiful dragon man. he deserves everything and then even more. my best friend and i are probably going to do more headcanons for more genshin characters, so expect those from me soon. enjoy! <3

So shy and timid when it comes to showing affection for another person. He’s always learning, but love is a foreign feeling to him. 

We already know it, but the man is the most respectful damn gentleman you’d ever find. Always opens doors for his partner, has his hand on the small of their back to guide them, and he offers his arm when out walking. He speaks gently, and is an excellent listener.

Has a serious shrimp allergy. He doesn’t feel like he’s missing much, though.

He hates being the center of attention, and it can even cause some mild anxiety if he’s caught off guard. Sure, he’s the Iudex and Sovereign of Fontaine, but if he’s not in the courtroom don’t expect him to draw attention to himself. 

Always sneezes in threes–  no more, no less. He has a dedicated handkerchief he carries with him everywhere to cover his mouth, and is always as quiet as possible as to not draw attention to it. If he’s in court and it happens, the entire audience blesses him. He used to ignore it, but he’s grown quite fond of the gesture and takes it as a small human act of kindness. As a result, if he’s ever in earshot when someone else sneezes he’s the first one to give them a blessing. He never skips over an opportunity to sow the seeds of kindness wherever he goes.

He’s learning how to cook. Not horrible at it, but he loves the idea of food inspiring community. He dreams of gathering the people he cares about most and cooking them all a yummy meal one day.

Can sing! And has such a pretty voice. He also has an affinity for most musical instruments he picks up. He’s quite used to the melusines asking him to sing them to sleep. 

Hardly ever gets sick (he does get stress fevers quite easily), but is used to caring for himself if he needs to. The first time he lets his partner care for him when he’s ill, he almost chokes on the vulnerability that starts to creep out of his bones.

Loves his hair being brushed or played with. This is another instance where he begins to feel vulnerable– he tries to avoid the feeling the best he can, but as he grows comfortable with his partner, he allows the feeling to make a permanent home in his chest. 

He loves being held. Even as big as he is, nothing stops him from curling up into his partner's arms to let his work fade away from his whirling thoughts. He has to grow accustomed to the closeness at first, but soon he can’t end a single day without at least having a few quiet moments in his partner’s embrace.

Receiving love, Neuvillette needs physical touch, quality time, and acts of service. He gives words of affirmation and acts of service to show his love. 

nsfw below <3

Has a beautiful blue marking between his belly button and his cocks that depicts his sovereign symbol.  

Neuvi’s ears, neck, and horns are extremely sensitive. Don’t mess with them unless you’re ready to have your brains fucked out. 

Has a praise kink (giving and receiving). Any kind of encouragement goes straight to his dicks. 

On that note- he absolutely has more than one cock. He’s usually so gentle, but if he’s worked into a frenzy he might just try to shove both cocks in at once. 

Has a rut cycle. When he’s not in his rut, he’s an incredibly soft lover. When he IS in his rut, don’t expect to be able to walk anywhere for a few days once his rut is over. 

Has a mild breeding kink. Sometimes he can’t help but think about his partner big and round with his child and it quite literally fries his brain a bit when he thinks too much about it. 

Aftercare once his rut is over is GOD TIER. Hot bubble baths, hair washing, massages, snacks, cuddles. The WORKS. He takes his time soothing his partners after completely wrecking them. 

ASS MAN!!! 

Has a serious overstim kink, both giving and receiving. One orgasm is simply just never enough (or two, or three, or four…). 

Is almost always dominant in his sexual encounters. He can be rough, yes, but he’s never mean. Think pleasure dom or service top. 

Has a body worship kink. He thinks humans are beautiful creatures and always wants to explore every inch of his partners when he can. 

Loves going down on his partner– probably his favorite thing ever after discovering it. 

TANTRIC SEX

Has a tail that occasionally makes an appearance if he gets too worked up. He WILL use it to fuck his partner silly. 

BITING. He loves leaving bites anywhere he can, even if no one else can see them. 

Will only take one life partner, though he may play with other people if allowed. Once he’s formed the bond with his life partner, they won’t ever be replaced. 

Will only allow his life partner to dom him. If he’s ever topped or dommed, it's a deliberate act of giving away his power to someone he trusts completely. These are some of the rarest moments where he willingly lets his worries and vulnerability spill out, and those moments are reserved for one person only. 

in conclusion, he is quite literally the best man ever.

[xclowniex]

Hi, I'm just struggling to understand your pov: from what I've gleaned of your blog, and people on social media who stand with Israel and also want safety for Palestinians (@rootsmetals on ig specifically), you guys don't believe any peace is possible with Hamas in power (which I can get behind, Hamas doesn't seem to be acting out of care for Palestinians). Hamas breaks ceasefire deals and refuses to release hostages, I get that. At the same time, Israel is holding so many Palestinians as hostages and in prisons. Israel has the backing of the US, and there are videos of their drone strikes against Palestinian kids playing football. All the terrible stuff. What do you think should be done with that? The atrocities and terrorism Israelis are going through is terrible and upsetting. At the same time, I feel like Israel has the upper hand here, and I worry a two-state solution (or whatever solution) won't treat Palestinians like equals (like, I'm worried anti-palestinian racism will systematized). I don't know what I'm trying to ask. Would asking, "Do you condemn the IDF," be antisemitic? I guess I'm just frustrated that from what yall are saying, the onus is on Hamas to relinquish power and end it all, and I don't see yall devoting the same energy to holding the Israeli military and the Israeli government accountable (maybe you think it goes without saying). Sorry if it's not coherent, it's late, and my brain is fried from reading.

Hello!

Thank you for taking the time to read and try to understand instead of leaping to conclusions, it is much appreciated.

You are right in your understanding of my views.

This post will be long but I do encourage you to read it all as it covers everything with nuance and math. The last bit of this post is the most important of it all too.

To answer your questions surronding the IDF

1. Your question surronding holding those in the IDF accountable:

The Israeli government has done bad things and does deserve to be held accountable. What I personally think is that individuals in the IDF responsible for war crimes need to be arrested and criminally tried in an international court of law.

2. Your statement about Israel holding Palestinian prisoners:

The majority of Palestinians prisoners are those who have committed crimes in Israel or have conspired to commit a crime.

There are Palestinians held who have not done anything to warrant being imprisoned, and obviously any number higher than 1 is bad, and there are far more than just 1.

Realistically because I am not Israeli so don't have any experience directly with Israeli politics on the ground, I cannot say realistically what should happen, however ideally what I would want to happen is for policies and guidelines to be updated, and for the updates to be enforced, ideally with, I'm not sure the right word specifically, but like an overseeing committee to give periodal reports to make sure everything is held to a high standard.

3. Your question of if asking "do you condemn the IDF" is antisemitic

It depends on the context. If you see a random jew or Israeli online and ask them, then yeah it is. This is because you don't really see people messaging Chinese people and asking if they support the CCP. If you see a blog engaging in discussions surrounding the conflict, then it's more of a gray territory. If the blog has said it before, then from the perspective of the blogger, you either didn't care to look through their blog or did and think they're lying, which can be interpreted as antisemitism if they assume your motivation for either of those is antisemitism, however it could very well be that you didn't look hard enough on their blog and didn't have any antisemitism in your intentions, but the blogger could still very well interpret it that way.

Do I myself condemn the idf? With certain actions yes and other actions no. I will not condemn the IDF for defending Israel after Oct 7th. From a logical standpoint, the Israeli government has a responsibility to keep its citizens safe, and a facet of doing so is the IDF doing things. It would be a deservice to Israeli civilians if nothing was done to prevent them being killed. From an emotional standpoint, I have family in Israel. I want them protected and safe. I cannot put into words how much I would mourn for them if they were killed.

Do I agree with every action the IDF has taken before Oct 7th and afterwards? Fuck no. The war has gone on too long. They are trying to get rid of hamas and whilst i do agree with that goal, too many civilian lives have been lost for me to want what they are doing to continue. I can understand logically why they are continuing. They have an obligation to Israel's safety, which includes wiping out Hamas. And obviously those in charge still think going ahead is worth it which I disagree with.

4. Your question of what do I consider it instead of genocide

I consider it at this stage the sad affects of regular war as well as war crimes. Not every action taken by the IDF is a war crime, hence the regular war, but they have committed a number of war crimes, hence that part inclined in my answer.

Whilst we will truly never know the full death toll until the war has ended and a secondary impartial group, so neither Israel nor hamas, have tallied the death toll, we will never know. Hamas includes combatant deaths in their death toll.

Because we do not have 100% accurate numbers to work with, i do not know which to go off of. To break down the various different numbers

Netanyahu says it is a 1:1 civilian to combatant death ratio, so for every combatant killed, one civilian has died which if true, is genuinely impressive in any war, and therefore doesn't doesn't constitute genocide. Like if this is true, militaries around the world need to be taking notes from Israel, that's how impressive it is.

To go with the top numbers from both sides from biased sources on both sides, al Jazeera says that as of 4:30pm gaza time Oct 25th, 42,847 Palestinians total have died. The most recent release from Israel of hamas fighters dead is 18,000.

Based on that, minuses Israel's numbers of hamas fighters killed from total death toll, that leaves us with 24,847 civilians killed.

If we round up to 25,000 civilians so the math is easier, that is a 25:18 civilians death toll roughly. Scaled down to compare with the 1:1 ratio Netanyahu states, that goes to 12.5:9 ratio then to a 6.25:4.5, then a 3.125:2.25 ratio. Further scaling down goes to (following the rules of rounding as it has too many decimals to work with)

1.56:1.125

To further round for nice measures, still following the rules of rounding

1.5:1.2

So slightly more civilians killed than hamas fighters per hamas fighter killed.

To put the numbers prior to ratios as a percentage,

Netanyahu says 50% of those killed are civilians

The biased numbers from both sides says a 57.99%, but we will round it to 58% of those killed are civilians.

According to a UN press release which i will link at the end, taking data from multiple wars, the average death percentage and ratio is 9:1 or 90%. That is 90% of deaths being civilians or 9 civilians killed for every one combatant.

According to the math, Israel's actions are still well under the average death ratio in a war.

Now, genocide does have more factors than just numbers. Intent has to be factored in.

Whilst there have been some israeli officials who have voiced their own personal opinions which are disgusting and say that they personally wish to kill all Palestinians, this has not been reflected in any official decisions released to the public.

If I say an opinion, it does not mean the company I work for also thinks that. To bring it close to home for me, a politician of the Act party, which make up 1/3 of the coalition government here in NZ, want to bring in a bill to overhaul our founding document which will harm Māori, our indigenous people. The two other parties in government have said they do not support it. Ergo, just because David smellmore and his punchable face want it, does not mean the NZ government shares his intent. To bring it back to Israel, just because some people, most who have no power in regards to the actions taken by the IDF made some disgusting social media posts, does not mean that intent is in the IDFs actions.

With all of that said, that is why I do not currently believe it is a genocide.

If evidence comes out in the future where it shows genocidal intent or the hamas fighter deaths being far far far lesser to the point where the ratio is more than 9:1, then I will 100% change my tune and call it a genocide.

The data currently does not show that it is one.

That being said, it not being a genocide doesn't mean that its not terrible or doesn't deserve attention, as it does, it very much does. I just believe in accurately labeling things. Something can be bad and not be the worst thing ever and also deserve attention and activism.

5: what should happen to the houses?

Realistically speaking, it is too complicated to force Israelis from homes one occupied by Palestinians. Some homes were taken by force, some were sold to Israelis (and jews prior to Israel's existence in the modern day). Records will have been lost and I think it's unfair, but not equally unfair, for an Israeli family to be kicked out of a house rightfully purchased as well as for an Israeli family to remain in a home wrongly occupied.

I think that the Israeli government should commit to helping to rebuild Gaza in general, and also to build new houses to house everyone. If it can be proved that a house was wrongfully taken from a Palestinian, they should get the option of their old house or a new house in a different location, and if they chose the old house, the Israeli family should get moved to a new house. Otherwise an issue of homelessness could occur.

Whilst it might not seem entirely focused on justice, as well it isn't, it is focused on the least harm for everyone. Because harm cauaea resentment and I want peace. Sometimes, things can't be idealistic.

6. Onto your last question about why zionists don't often talk about the Israeli government's wrongdoings

That is because there is not a safe space for us to do so. Literally.

I have tried before and I just got asks from antizionists saying that I actually didn't care and was lying to seem more "reasonable" or like a good person. I also got people assuming I was then an antizionist and got a few people who were quite surprised that I still want israel to exist who sent me nasty hate anons too.

If more people allowed for jews and Israelis to talk about the wrong doings of the Israeli government safely, more of us would do so.

But, we often opt out of doing so in public and instead only do so in more private spaces. I have spoken many times about things I dislike that the IDF and Israeli government have done off of tumblr and in a more private space, and I know so many other jews and Israelis who also have done the same.

It is much easier for me to cope mentally with antisemitism as I just brush 99% of it off as some fuckward online who has no real affect on my offline life than it is to cope with people sending mean comments to me because they don't believe I actually believe what I say I do or have these false preconceptions of my views because of a handful of posts.

I do want to again say that it is so refreshing and nice to have someone genuinely ask instead of sending hate. Because you genuinely asked, I gave you my thoughts on the wrong doings of the Israeli government. If you had instead sent hate, I would have given you a half arsed replied instead.

Source for the UN thing

[nororitz]

narumi gen and academic achievement

tags: self-indulgent, bullet points-style, self-imposed stress, academics stuff, curse words, no kaiju au, non-established relationship

note: uh first post yay. english is not my first language ngl. also idk how to format anything please. writing this while i have an essay due tmr morning is crazy though.

• Recently, you've been stressing yourself over the overwhelming tests and work that never seems to end. After working your ass off for weeks without any respite, all your efforts are finally being paid off.

• Staring back at you was your phone screen with words of congratulations and a high score written along with it.

• Absolutely elated you turned to Narumi Gen, your close friend of many years. Preparing to tell the good news to Narumi who's busy with his controller and some kind of BS5 game.

• There's a high chance of him not even hearing you because he's too absorbed in his gaming, bloodshot eyes boring holes into the screen. Yet, you're still showing him your phone screen anyway, excitedly displaying your proud achievements. The adrenaline rush overpowering the small, hideous doubt stored in a corner of your mind.

• At first, you're sure he didn't even register your voice talking to him. But then suddenly Narumi is putting down his controller and taking the phone from your hand, the BS5 no longer playing game music and sound effects. His bangs block half of his face so you can't read his expression well. Silently, you eagerly awaits his reaction.

• After a while, he says "You worked hard so it's to be expected that you would do well," before handing your phone back to you. It's startling, but Narumi is really someone who is blunt.

• "Yeah...but there was a chance I still wouldn't be able to do it you know?" Narumi, who senses the sadness in your voice, goes still. Finally, he lets out a huff and faces you properly.

• "What are you talking about? Since when did you have so little faith in yourself? You always gave your all in everything so this result isn't surprising in the least." Damn this guy and his attitude.

• But this is pretty much Narumi Gen's roundabout way of saying I've seen you put your effort into this and I believed you would succeed from the start. It might seem like he doesn't care, but Narumi is a person who pays close attention to someone important to him.

• It did kind of sound like he was scolding you though. "Narumi, you really..." "Hah!?!?" Breaking a smile, the bickering between you and Narumi erases the traces of doubt lingering in your mind.

• Narumi is someone who knows about hard work, results, and acknowledgement better than anyone. So, I believe he would think that you were more than capable of achieving the results that you wanted. Even if he's not as direct about it, he has a lot of trust in your abilities.

• If you end up falling asleep in the living room at the end of the day, the familiar sounds of Narumi's BS5 lulling you to sleep. He would take a glance at you before muttering something like a, "You did well," his gaze holding a kind of secret fondness to it.

can you tell that i love narumi. he might be slightly ooc my brain is fried.

likes, reblogs, and comments are so very appreciated ☆

[kcalsforhim]

˖⋆࿐໋ friday 27th of december

⋆˙⟡

TW FOR THE END OF MY ENTRY !!!!! for pic of sfx blood makeup… T_T

friday hmmmm.. well that was yesterday… i woke up and weighed myself ! i was half a kg less then the day before that… so that was very relieving T_T do you guys like a picture of a guy in a bra ? it was the smallest size they have at the local store… i tried to make it look flattering… but i feel like im too fat too pull this whole… feminine man in a bra look off…

i got up and did god knows what and then ate breakfast !

breakfast :

1 slice of home made bread cut into 2 pieces, the smallest bit of zuivel spread on both, with some smoked salmon, and a bit of crushed salt and pepper (gamechanger)

half a small bowl of vanilla pudding that was left over… and what looks like a big blob of cinnamon

a cup of some kind of herbal tea with some lemon in it

the sandwich was GOOD ! the salt and pepper ontop and just the whole combo was very rich and flavourful,

(can i interrupt this by saying im writing this at work at 8 am and some fuckass came in and said so much with such little actual words and completely fried my brain COMPLETELY like omg ? ok back to what i was saying……)

the salt and the pepper ontop changed it from being a good breakfast to being a really enjoyable breakfast ! the bread is i think the best my moms ever made… i can’t exactly describe it… it was dense and maybe a bit… im not sure, not too dry… which i really like… its closer to one of those bread buns rather than a regular old slice of bread… and so thin too !

the tea was gross…. my mom put a bit too toooo much lemon… so much so it stopped being enjoyable and sour, and went straight to being bitter….

after eating, i felt replenished but also somewhat moody. i started on my treadmill having already collected 2k steps from just doing god knows what, and i was determined to get to 10 k… i kind of zoned out the 75 mins i was walking tbh… but the last 5 minutes were stressful cause my step counter absolutely REFUUUUSED to update and this kind of ticked me off… sighs… i needed 200 steps left so i manually counted them at a certain point and got off even if my step counter didn’t update… waah

then i layed in bed… probably fell half asleep at some point, then got up to eat AGAIN… fatty… you see yesterday i wanted to overeat a lot.. on… a lot… a lot… of food… everything you could think of… not only that but i didn’t smoke at all and had had 0 energy drinks (helps reduce appetite and also boosts energy obviously)

dinner :

1/4 of my bowl was filled with some goulash and maybe 10 pieces of that pasta ?

in a small bowl i had some more pasta, maybe another 10 pieces or so… and some vanilla sugar on it…

a small bowl with some salad

a banana mashed up and microwaved

the goulash is basically just meat left to simmer alllll day long on low in a special pot, making the meat very tender and soft and quite flavourful… but im not a fan of this dish when eating it with pasta… only with mashed potato… so i wasn’t feeling it, that’s why half my bowl is fucking empty lol

the sweet pasta thing, usually you’d also put sunflower oil on it, my mom always made it when i was a child, but ill rather swallow a gun whole than directly consume sunflower oil

the salad was leftovers, and the banana was me wanting something sweet idk. surprisingly good tasting to warm up a banana, i ate it with the sweet pasta and the warm banana made it more good… idk… maybe struggle meal ?

idk what i did, but i ate AGAIN cause i was going crazy i can’t recall what happened inbetween i think this was veeery shortly after dinner

snack :

one piece of dark chocolate, and 2 lotus cookies (came in a pack)

it was good, i felt guilty but it’s like i couldn’t be helped lol… atleast it was just a controlled portion and not just… like eating handfuls of everything in sight kind of deal… i’ve done that before soooo hey ! progress.. i would NOT consider this a binge or overeating

after this my mom asked if i wanted to go on a walk with me, and i thought YESSSS I SCORED !!!! i already had 10 k so it’ll only add onto my successes !!!! so we went on this huuuuuge walk… huge ! it was soooo cold like 2 degrees out… brrr

we went to the store and i got some stuff ! taco shells… and beans… i wanted tacos… ofc i will make them myself, you will see it in my blogpost tonight or tommorow… it depends… and it will be a struggle meal bcs im rlly autistic and specific about my food T_T i asked my friend if he can spare me the cost and he couldn’t… so im not chatting with him till later… he said by next week he’ll have 500 euro so he can talk to me then…

anyways when i got back i had something like 17-18 k ! i was so happy with myself even if i felt guilty… i went into bed and i started drawing again… while chewing on vitamin pills ? see i don’t know what happens when i really want to eat BAD why the fuck would you chew on that ??????

i completed the lineart completely by this point and sighed in relief… then i started colouring my characters first… first my favourite… hehe.. i coloured him in completely and then my second favourite, i half completed him… cause then i remembered i had work

i put my ipad away and i layed in bed and forced myself to go to bed… i went to sleep so early my parents weren’t even sleeping yet, so i could sleep with no headphones, no earbuds, just pure silence… infact it was so quiet i didn’t even put on a video… it was such a weird sleep

i remember having a nightmare but i can’t remember exactly what, most likely something with food or something like that you know ? T_T

that was my day !!! weirdly extensive… but im in one of those moooooods you know ?

ignore monday ew… this is what we call beaaaaaauifull consistency ~ i love it !! you see those beautiful numbers ????? i feel so good about it i kind of never want to be under 10 k again TwT

cals : 3 days binge free !!!! today was hard, but i only had controlled portions of everything, so i see it as a win… feel free to disagree tho… i do understand today was a BAD food day… i ate so much !!!!

steps : 18.6 k !!!

my obsession with this soundtrack needs to be studied LMFAO. this track makes me laugh bcs she’s always playing her stupid rpg when it plays going online with her teacher ??? that’s crazy ToT

TW scaaaaaaaaaaaaaars

bonus !!! TwT i thought these turned out sooo cute… the night before i wasn’t feeling so well, so i got some courage and cvt the inside of my arm… i had been wanting to for a long long time… it wasn’t so bad !!!! i started it off really carefully, but slowly did it more and more… by the end i had one last one at the top that showed a little bit of bubbles, just barely :3 those kinds are my favourite ever ~ they hurt soooooo good …

⋆˙⟡

[part-time-zombie]

Ok I've either reached some sort of analytical epiphany here, or I fully fried my brain and I'm no longer making sense. Either way...

seven sides = seven deadly sins.

Roman = Pride.

Easy enough, he represents the ego and pride in a most literal sense (along with passion and creativity). A wound to his ego creates literal pain, and his reputation/role as a heroic prince means everything to him since his very existence is tied to being the "good" part of imagination.

Remus = Lust.

Another easy one, but I think it's more than just the dirty jokes here. It had been suggested before that since Remus represents all forbidden/unwanted thoughts that c!thomas rejected/repressed because he thought they were bad, there likely may have been a point where he was also his closeted homosexuality in the past.

Virgil = Sloth.

Procrastination is a common practice from Virgil, one he either unintentionally prompts or openly promotes. Anytime something stressful or challenging occurs, Virgil always seems to suggest inactivity and avoidance as the solution, preferring to hide from the issue altogether instead of making any effort into fixing it.

Orange = Wrath (?)

Not much is really known here, but from what we've seen so far it's fair to assume that anger is a driving force if not a direct role for the orange side, though future videos may provide more insight.

Janus = Greed.

Greed is a desire to collect and hoard material wealth/resources, with no intention of sharing or using it. It is innately selfish (and not always in a good way) and the way I feel this translates to Janus is by him wanting c!thomas to prioritize himself above all else, even if it involves letting others down. He wants Thomas to seek out the things he wants in life (like the callback) and to take it without feeling bad about choosing his own happiness. This isn't just for goals/achievements, though, he also wants thomas to save his free time/availability for himself without giving it out carelessly. It's as he said: "it's your time and you do what you want with it". He wants Thomas to remove the blindfold and take what he wants while he still can, before the opportunity is lost again.

Patton = Envy.

This one was a little tough, but I think I made it make sense (at least to me). Patton is Thomas' morality, something instilled in him by observing and imitating those around him. As such, Patton's ideals largely come from him comparing himself and Thomas to others. Sure, Thomas is good, but is he as good as someone else? Can be be better? Can he be perfect, and what counts as perfect to begin with? Patton is constantly looking to outside influences to determine what standards to set, which is why Janus managed to help get through to him when he needed guidance in pof. In a way, Patton is envious of others for them seemingly having gotten it all figured out and being effortlessly good (which is obviously ridiculous, but Patton may have had issues with realizing that).

Logan = Gluttony.

In all seriousness, though, this is about more than just crofters. Gluttony is an obsessive overindulgence of material pleasures and consuming more than is healthy. It differs from greed in that greed focuses on amassing wealth and holding onto it, while gluttony uses up everything it can as quickly as possible. How does that relate to Logan? Well, instead of simply associating this with jam or wine, I like to think he is gluttonous of c!thomas' time. He says he experiences a "titillating, tingling sensation whenever deadlines are met" and regularly tried to direct as much of the focus onto himself and his plans as possible, and becomes frustrated without having surplus time to work. It's not like that time is wasted, though. He does quite the opposite by trying to prioritize all of the time to what he wants, even when it's at a detriment to the others/thomas. He allotted only 0.5% of the day to hopes and dreams, insisting the rest of the day be spent as he pleases. Why? Because being prioritized means he's important and respected, which for him is like the best feeling in the world. And going by how eagerly he devours crofters or chugs wine, it's clear that anything he finds enjoyable will be immediately consumed.

[girlietips]

Everyone talks about leveling up and healing, but what comes after that?

I feel like I'm in a really good place right now. I've worked through my emotional wounds, I no longer attract toxic people, and I'm focused on making better choices to improve my life.

I've moved past the drama, the gossip, and the unhealthy relationships, and I'm genuinely happy about that. I have no desire to go back to any of that. But at the same time, life feels too calm.

In the past, it was easy to connect with people around me—whether it was bonding over shared dislikes, mutual crushes on unavailable people, or similar family struggles. But now, all of that feels shallow and trivial. If I don’t like someone, I just avoid them. There’s nothing to really talk about or bond over anymore.

What I’m really wondering is how to keep that sense of wonder and excitement from my younger years alive—the sense that everything felt fresh, new, and thrilling.

I’ve outgrown a lot of the chaos, but now I’m left with the challenge of keeping life exciting without falling back into old habits. And honestly, I’m not sure how to do that.

This is a really important question and one I don’t think gets talked about enough. Often time when we begin to remove all the toxicity out of our life we feel as though there is a hole in our life. Or the lack of excitement and connection.

One thing I’ve noticed a lot in my own healing journey is that I had become almost addicted to drama because for my whole life I made a lot of my connections and bonds with people by complaining about crummy situations. That can also make it especially difficult for when you are trying to leave that side of you behind because the people who are close to you might try and pull that side out of you. While I do think cutting people out is a step to healing (not one that is particularly easy) it is important to understand you can’t cut everyone out. There are going to be some people that will bring the drama side of you out that you can’t avoid. But I don’t necessarily think gossip and communicating in that way is necessary bad I think you need to be really honest with yourself when it turns into something ugly. You can always tell people when a simple gossip or blowing off steam turns into something nasty you don’t want to be apart of.

In my opinion the feeling of life being “too” calm can mean one of two things.

You aren’t healed to the point that peace is appealing. This is very real and I notice it especially when I am comparing lifestyles with others. People will call you boring or stuck up because you like to keep your life free of stress and are very disciplined. Even your old self in the back of your brain might be saying “ew I just study and work and haven’t even had any new relationship drama. I am so boring”. I think when these thoughts come into your head you should remind yourself on how exactly it felt when you were “more fun” because yeah it was exciting when I was talking to a bunch of toxic guys, never did my homework, and didn’t care how I treated my body. But was that true happiness? No! it was just adrenaline and too much of that can leave you feeling fried and anxious.

You are not giving yourself fun things to do and talk about with others. If you are just going to school/work and then coming home and you aren’t participating in any hobbies that make you feel fulfilled you are going to have no fun and excitement throughout your day. You can keep your sense of wonder and excitement without slipping into toxic habits and situations!!!! Do something fun with your friends, take a class, learn a new art form, go on that trip you deserve all the excitement because you worked hard for your peace!!

I hope I answered your question. I think it’s a really important topic that I have discussed with my therapist on multiple occasions. Understanding the difference between excitement and adrenaline will help you understand what is worthwhile. Also if you have friends that the only conversation they can have is about drama they have there own things they need to workout and you shouldn’t let them bring you down.

Xoxo 💕💕

[universesweetheart]

Negotiation (Dazai x Reader)

Pushing the chubby Dazai agenda, he's so cute! Look at his little belly, im gonna cry it's so cute!! Missing him terribly.

In which we bribe him with affection and feed him

Read my other dazai oneshots here, here & here This has been in my draft for soo long, but I got a job and forgot about it. Happy late Diwali!

Bye now - Mars ♡

Out of everything you saw yourself doing this year, dating an overdramatic enigmatic manchild who whines like a baby was not one of them.

How did you get here? You started officially dating Dazai a few months ago, you two were exclusive. Before that you probably fooled around for a year, flirting here and there, and going on dates, random hook ups but somewhere along the way, you fell for each other. Hard.

It did have a trial and error period and you did have to set some firm boundaries, because as much as fooling around with him was fun, you craved the security of knowing this wasn’t some meaningless fling to him.

Fast forward to being exclusive with Dazai, he’s an amazing partner. His genius brain is quick to pick up on even the smallest changes and he reads you like an open book. He’s affectionate and he always finds money, granted never his own, to spend on you. He’s great in bed and he’s sweet with words. The list goes on. He’s almost perfect.

However, he’s not the best at opening up, he can talk your ear off without revealing a single thing about his mind. His heart. He also tends to neglect himself very much, at first you thought it was just temporary work stress but even when he’s away from work he does it.

At first you noticed how he only puts in efforts when you’re around, and the longer your relationship went on, the less effort he made. The biggest issue you have is how he so carelessly skips meals. It makes you angry but after some thoughts and rants to your cat, you’ve decided to bribe him.

You wanted to be subtle about it but honestly, he probably already picked up on it. You’re convinced he just allows you to do what you want.

You started off small and your plan was to gradually build him up to regular meals.

The first time you did it, it was as simple as feeding him a bite from your snack. A simple yogurt bowl with fruits and a “Mm, try this, it’s good” and stuffing his mouth with a spoonful of yogurt and berries.

That became a regular habit you did, giving him small bites of your snacks whether that be protein bars, cookies, chocolates. This then transferred into your meals, purposefully adding more to your plate so you can whine about not finishing it and offering the rest to him so he can.

That didn’t last long, he quickly caught on your little act and urge you to feed it to your cat instead.

Then the brilliant idea of bribing him with kisses and affection to eat came about. It started with an argument and then you two not speaking for two days. Angry as you were, you decided to deny him of your hugs and you two slept with you backs to each other, you slept at least. Dazai stayed up and drank his feelings. The second night he didn’t even come home, God knows where he were.

The third day you two resolved your little conflict and with some probing, sweet words, kissing and negotiation you got Dazai to eat at least one full meal a day.

You both agreed on that. Baby steps, one meal a day, it’s better than drinking alcohol and eating tinned crab almost every day.

Right now, you were both on the couch, you on his lap with his arms lazily slung around you. You had a small bowl of rice and stir-fried vegetables along with some eggs.

You held the chopsticks up to his lips and looks at him in his eyes, “Please” you looked down at his lips, “For me” you watched as he hesitantly opened his mouth and took the food and chewed and swallowed.

Placing a kiss on his forehead you praised him for his first bite.

Then you repeated that until the bowl of food was almost finished, feeding him, kissing him, praising him.

After he managed to finish, you placed the bowl down and caress his cheeks, “You did so good, m’proud” you mumbled and kisses him. Your hands cupped his face, lips brushing against his cheeks, the tip of his nose, the crease of his brows, his temple, his jawline. Just anywhere your lips found, you placed sweet kisses.

He smiled and you felt like you’d melt away and fall off the couch if it weren’t for his arms around you. “Thank you, Bella” He mumbles quietly, and you can’t help but capture his lips in another sweet kiss. You feel his hands squeeze your waist, pulling you closer to him as he desperately returns your kiss.

He pulls away from you, his brows furrowed, and he belched and it catches you off guard. Dazai looks at you, awaiting your reaction and when he saw your smile and heard a little giggle, it triggered his own smile.

“I really am proud of you, Osamu”

[mylevisdontfitanymore]

I have all these incredible request prompts that want to turn into something but my jobs have got me exhausted! I'm having a hard time not just going asdfghjkl b-bellies

So, the best I can offer you for now is my latest brain worms about fat mechanic Steve Rogers and diner owner Bucky Barnes.

Steve starts out as this burly mechanic, always in his dusty, dirty dark blue coveralls and work boots with grease stains on his face and hands. His blond hair is fucking mess so often from running his fingers through it and getting it stained and rumbled. So, Steve is just this huge dude working on cars and trucks and even big rigs because-! His auto shop is next to the truckstop just off the interstate.

I can not stress this enough. He's a big, capable guy. Lifting heavy shit with teeth-gritted grunts, putting in the elbow grease to turn the most locked up lug nuts, sweating and swearing his way through jobs that look grim but always pulling the car or truck through. He's a damn good mechanic, so much so that he has clients that want to repay him. Truck drivers that come back through after he did them a solid with a damn good job on their rigs will bring tokens from other states, drop off homebaked food if their significant other happens to live around there, or some of them even bring gift cards. Gift cards like one to the newly opened diner just across the street in the heart of the actual truckstop.

It's an all-American diner, so at first, Steve passes it up. He can eat American food whenever he wants! He can at least make burgers on the grill. He isn't a totally helpless cook. C'mon. But when he has a gift card and works late for a client to get them back on the move... he doesn't have dinner with him, so... might as well try it.

The diner is seemingly run by this one guy, Bucky, despite how much foot traffic this place has to get with all these truckers and road trippers stopping in. Bucky's a damn fine cook, though, Steve finds that out quick. Everything he orders for dinner is moan out loud good.

The first night, he has a greasy, heavy American food feast. A bubbly coke with a thick bacon double cheeseburger and a side of heavy loaded fries. For dessert, he splurges on a wide slice of pie and a healthy scoop (scoops, really) of ice cream. Before he leaves, taking time to digest before he has to walk back, Bucky even sweet talks him into adding a milkshake to his dessert. Steve has to eat it with a spoon, the shake is that thick. It's so sweet that he can feel it in his teeth.

Bucky's food has to be enhanced somehow, though, 'cause he can't stop. It's too good. Steve's never lost control with food like that before. Woof. Steve waves it off that first night, though, he'll work off the calories easy. It's just one night.

It's not just one night.

Steve first goes back every once in a while, which turns into a few times a week to every day for lunch to... he has lunch there and then heads back to the diner for dinner, too, even if he's not staying late at the shop. Sometimes, he has dinner at the diner, and by the time he gets home, he's hungry again. So he makes himself dinner, too.

With all the greasy, stick to your ribs diner food Steve's coveralls change from baggy to fitted to tight.

His whole body gets wider. His thick, strong neck welcomes a friend in the form of a thickening double chin. His shoulders start to slope, soft and fat, not hard chistled stone. His big arms are bigger, muscle covered with this layer of pudge. His chest gets soft, so soft that his stretched nipples start to poke through his grease and sweat stained white undershirt when he rolls his coveralls down and ties them around his (fatter) waist on hot afternoons. His belly and waist are the real goners, though. His butt rounds out, and his thighs pack on enough to jiggle - something he's never experienced before - but nothing comes close to his gut. And it's a GUT. Round and firm and huge.

Even when he hasn't just stuffed himself to the point of groaning and sweating with excess, his fingers don't sink into that fat. It's hard fat that gets in the way. He presses himself harder and harder against the cars and trucks he works on, trying to get as close as he wants to be to work, but he can't get there. His belly doesn't squish nearly as much as he thought it would but... maybe he's just never empty. His stupid belly's in the way. It's in the way constantly! When he's zipping up his coveralls (and when they're already done up, his rounding stomach presses against the heavy fabric like it's trying to break free), when he's on a creeper under the chassis, he has to jack up the car more than normal now, just to make sure he fucking fits underneath the thing, when he's looking in a client's trunk for a spare tire or whatever and he has to bend over and there's his gut, oof, when he's taking the vehicle for a test drive and he has to suck in to attempt fitting behind the wheel... usually, he ends up having to adjust the whole seat, and still, his gut pushes up against the wheel. His gut can't stop being in the way but... Steve can't stop eating. He's weak for Bucky's cooking even if it's making him feel heavy duty himself, or like his body has gone from a regular truck to a big rig.

He feels it most after he's gorged himself on another unending diner meal, leaving the place bloated unbelievably, having had to unzip his coveralls or burst the zipper with all the pressure of his overfull belly. He waddles back across the street to his shop, stomach gurgling and churning audibly the whole way. Hell, as he goes, he's stifling burps behind his fist from jostling his gut too much, half-running across the road to get outta the way of traffic. He's not getting any work done like this. He can't. Too full.

He's gonna fucking lie on the floor and wait for his bloat to go down or something. His coveralls are unzipped to his big waist, and his undershirt has rolled up to expose his tight, shiny, stretch-marked gut where it sticks out between the open half's of his coveralls. Someday soon, he's not gonna be able to fit into those things. Too, soon, he's gonna get stuck in a car or underneath it or some shit, he swears. It's worth it for that food, though, God, he's addicted to it. The greasy, salty, fatty flavors. The aching fullness of too much. The way Bucky stares at him like he wants to have him for dinner as he sweats and groans and burps through his hearty meals. Lunch and dinner.

Suddenly, with an uncontrollable craving in the pit of his overgrown stomach, Steve wonders what the breakfast menu of the diner is - he's never had it. Maybe... if he heads home now, he'll get to bed early enough to digest in his sleep and wake up in time to make it here for breakfast? He can't drive with his belly in the way like this, though! What if... what if he sleeps in his shop and gets to the diner first thing? Then he can eat his heart out before work 🥵