#my brain just decided on this so
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#good thing dude said almost
#911#buddie#911edit#buddieedit#eddiediazedit#911verse#911 spoilers#911 on fox#911 fox#911 abc#evanbuckleyedit#my edit#otp: you don't need to pretend with me#my brain just decided on this so#his gut was right about buck#buck may be a disaster some times but hes been there#tumblr fought me for an hour to let me post this ugh#long post#flashing tw#1k#evan buckley#eddie diaz
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spiraling
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#gojo satoru#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#the minute i realized how tg coded the composition n colours were i decided to turn it up to 11#i was racking my brain trying 2 figure out how to get the layered tissue paper look tht i talked abt ishida's cover art having#cycled through all my usual layer modes n nothing ws Quite right#until wouldnt u know it . divide n subtract!!!!! i NEVER use divide or subtract bc theyre impossible#but fr this??? its like they were made for it oh my god#it makes the greys look translucent n all my textures pop in a way that makes them appear splotchy n Bruised#which ws the whole point thts the Look god i am so PLEASED#when the layer modes tht notoriously get No love finally find their niche <33 peace and love <333#filing this away fr later i am going 2 have a lot of fun with this new information i think#im very happy w how the colours look n i dont think anything else wld have kept the right Mood#but i am always so >:/ when i have to use a palette tht forces me into giving megumi blue eyes#had to set aside th green eyed megu agenda fr the Aesthetic unfortunately#anyway i knew from the minute i saw it that i wanted to do smth involving the opening panel of 268#bc that panel is S tier#i figured tht if nothing came 2 me i wld just redraw it as-is bc it's alr so good but as i ws sketching i was like#u know what u havent done in a while? art tht looks like u r going Insane#art tht makes ur family ask whether everything is ok#so i once again tucked megumi's knees up 2 his chest and apologized insincerely to him fr making the third megumi angst piece in a row#:)
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I made @wolfythewitch 's fox Bill design out of polymer clay
It's pretty thin (so thin I'm afraid it'll snap in half anytime I lift it)
Front and back side:
#I love crafting stuff but it's more time consuming than drawing (and less satisfying to me) so I don't do it as often#this would make a pretty cool pin. too bad it's so fragile#this is useless btw. I'm afraid it's break even if I store it somewhere#but at least I had fun making it#like an idiot I decided it would be better if I used only yellow and painted the details after baking it#fast forward-> me trying to paint it with a permanent black marker and a white gel pen that's definitely not for that job#this design will forever be imprinted in my brain as the best fanmade bill design actually#gravity falls#gravity fowls#bill cipher#arts n crafts#polymer clay#don't look at my ugly fingers#this is obviously not actual folded like an origami. I just cut the pieces I needed (the body is one piece folded in half tho)#btw I used the oven just to bake this. rip the environment
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mourning black and the death of ideals
#i haven't moved on from this yet. btw. i'm still here#finally decided to draw the thought i've been ruminating over for days on end bc it's like a parasite eating away my brain#stated this on the initial post i made days ago but there's just smt so gut wrenching and sickening#about how dazai will have worn black exactly twice in his life: once as a member of the mafia and now at kunikida's funeral#a color that initially signified devotion to the mafia and his demon prodigy alias now signifies his grief#him having to wear black again at the funeral of another doomed fatalist who chose his heart over his survival. his own partner.#kunikida's death being so reminiscent of the tragedy that initially caused him to defect and flee#and everything tying together full circle and effectively breaking him#asagiri rly said fuck knkdz it's doppover we lost gang 😭😭😭#why did bro leave that fucking notebook behind#fool. do you know that angst potential you have left me to work with?#love never won in bsd. it lay dead and festering#i don't know how much longer i can keep saying i miss them. i'm going to kill myself if he doesn't come back#i've never wanted something to be death bait so desperately#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#(??? technically. its implied anyway)#lotus draws
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We were separated.
#yes i did just post a nearly identical version of this#but my brain is aflame#and i could not decide between them#choose your own adventure#i am literally about to lose power#so i rushed to finish this before my computer could die (for a third time)#but the forces of nature are not enough to prevent me from losing my mind#star trek tos#star trek unification#star trek#spirk#kirk x spock#spock#kirk#grissomesque edits#trekedit#Kirk & spock
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EDIT: someone wrote a fic based off of this and im holding you all at gun point to read it rn
i did noooottt mean for this to be as long as it is lmao!! I LOVE THESE PINK BITCHES !!!!!
and their. questionable father
#dreamworks trolls#trolls band together#trolls#viva#poppy#doodling#ive been debating whether i should write fic or draw comics bc the royal pop fam has been invading my brain ever since#i watched the movies. but i decided i do what i want so why not both#. so maybe expect something similar in ao3 if i ever get off my butt to finish that#OR MORE COMICS YIPPIEEEEEE#its also so funny bc i did write this first but then shit just got longer the more i worked on it I YAP TOO MUCH SO FUCK IT THE SISTERS#DO TOO
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i like these guys a lot (alt ver. with a filter under the cut)
#my art#lmk#lego monkie kid#lego monkie kid fanart#monkie kid#monkie kid fanart#lmk fanart#lmk mk#lmk mei#goldendragon#i use it as their duo name but you can take this as ship art if you want#just personally i dont ship them#goldendragon fanart#couldnt decide if i liked the one w or without the filter better#i like the contrasting colors wo the filter but the filter scratches my brain so good#long xiaojiao#qi xiaotian
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something something max's main color being red with blue highlights something something grace's main color being blue with red highlights something something motivations something something alive and dead something something
#would i like to do an analysis on the lighting? yes.#but for some reason my brain is only capable of analyzing bf and some bits of tgwdlm#dont expect much from me#but something i CAN say is that#the colors can represent their motivations and connections to the lords in black#such as dying in the waylon hall and getting to use the black book#and by motivations i mean#with grace; she decided to use the powers of the black book to get rid of 'dirty dudes'#which is something she most likely believes as a correct action#but the red highlights indicate the bits on evilness in her#it shows how her intentions don't change her actions#and for max; red is for vengeance#yet the blue highlights are used in here#mostly for 'who will pray for me' bit#and#this is something related. i believe that max was reflecting himself when saying those lines#it was not only for richie to repeat but also about himself#anyway back to the lighting#the blue represents that there is something deeper than just vengeance#'who will pray for me when im gone'#thats about himself. he knows that no one in the schoo really cared that much about his death besides the game#they only cared about the game. not max himself#so the lights during both npmd and ddmd represent#their connections to the lords. their motivations and intent. and how their actions are made#starkid#hatchetfield#nerdy prudes must die#npmd#max jagerman#grace chasity
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me Omw to annoy you about more Francesca content 😼😼
you and my entire inbox my friend strap in everyone this is gonna be The Francesca Mega Collection. part one The Bed Collection ft You HAVE To Click/Tap To Read Anything ESPECIALLY The Asks
thank you for joining me for the Francesca Bed Collection im going to pass out
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#francesca the cat#snap sketches#OK HI HERE been tryin to posts this for ten asks now cause i severely underestimate the speed of my inbox once it picks up#ironically my sis dropped her cat off for the weekend so. i have much fran inspo LMAO she loves doing the bed thing i confess..#i will be candid and say right now that like. two(? maybe just one) of the asks in this post arent fran related#theyve been sitting in my inbox for weeks but they were used for inspo in this post SO IT COUNTS IM POSTING IT TO FEEL LESS GUILTY OK !!!!!#these arent meant to be a cohesive story or w/e but i mean if you try it can prob be. at least the last two#i was gonna try to knock out all my fran asks today actually but 1.) i underestimated how slow i draw#2.) i got to the thirdv (i made it first in this list but i mean he cutie in the third too..) comic and my brain decided i drew erik too ho#and ive decided to dedicate the rest of my night praying for forgiveness for my lascivious thinkings <- they will continue#but yeah like i said i have all the comics and the sort sketched out buuut i might redo one of them#its kinda nsft flavored (but still cute + sfw) and thats not usually a prob but the asks themselves are wholesome i felt awkward jerLJLK#maybe ill repurpose the beginning panels ... or hell maybe ill just finish them and post them as is#spoilers its more Superhero Roeplay bullshit so it can def be posted on its own without fran.. idk ...#we know how my brain goes Thats Why We're In This Sitch once im given an inch i run a marathon and i dont stop#i be having such intense visions im gonna throw up. anyway wtf was i saying i forget. oh well thaat means EnjoYWAIT I REMEMBER#im tempted to close my inbox for a bit just until i clear out all the asks i wanna draw and ik i dont HAVE to draw them#but as ive said i get visions so easily ...... and i must see them realized ... but then id miss talking to everyone :(#so we ball is simply the answer. ok fr enjoy now LMAO BYYYYEE im gonna go redraw some old stuff i think to wind down#maybe ill touch one more asks cause . cause like Many Of Them its got stuff ive been wantin to draw all week ... heh ...#ok bye we'll see what happens im not checking over these if theres a mistake then by god theres a mistake BYE
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JOHN: he doesn't have a dog?
DAVEPETA: B33 < maybe hes talking about karcat
and then they all watched the mlp:fim movie and proceeded to get into a heated argument over character analysis afterward. john interrupts them all by going "well i like pinkie pie! she's silly." and they all just stop arguing and are like yeah. yeah pinkie pie is silly.
#hs#homestuck#dave strider#dirk strider#john egbert#davepeta#davepetasprite#arquiusprite#arquius#i'd tag equius and hal but they're literally just sitting there dead silent the whole time so#also lowkey dirkjohn but so is everything i make at this point#this is another idea thats been polluting my brain so i just had to get it out#this could be post ALTTLau but i havent really decided#JESUS tumblr really compressed the shit out of these panels huh#oh well just pretend the artifacting is on purpose
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✌️
#hlvrai#undertale#gravity falls#nathan for you#homestuck#iasip#this screams Im obnoxious and have control and social related issues but at least im fun#I had a really passive and monotone voice until one day I watched iasip#and for some reason my brain decided that I need to copy Charlie's manner of speeking#now this is just the way I talk#I dont even remember how my real voice sounds anymore#it comes out so rarely#my art
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had a dream that to censor the maigu ridge scene in svsss, mxtx replaced it with a comic acted out entirely by muppets.
muppet sqq was lying in muppet lbh’s arms and saying ‘i know you’ll hurt me, but it’s the only way!’
and muppet lbh was crying and shaking him, but eventually did what needed to be done. he smacked muppet sqq over the head with a giant eggplant, killing him instantly.
then muppet lbh fell to his knees and screamed ‘SHIZUUUUUUN!!!!!!!’
muppet sqq sat up, looked up at him, looked to camera, looked back at him, whacked him with his fan, and said ‘keep it down! that hurt; i’m trying to sleep.’
#the eggplant was so fucking big#bigger than either of them#eggplant as long as the heavens#peerless eggplant#eggplant shooting toward the sky#i don’t know why this is what my brain decided i needed#when i woke up i just kind of stared at the ceiling like ??????#svsss#luo binghe#bingqiu#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#scum villian self saving system#scum villain#scumbag system#svsss shitpost#scum villain shitpost#mxtx
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also today I told my neighbour I'd carry her bags upstairs because somehow the oldest ladies buy the heaviest shit, and so she went up first, and I of course being the stubborn goddamn mule had to commit to One Trip Only mentality, and so it took me some more time to get to her floor, but I did manage and won my unwounded pride in return, and so I happily huffed and puffed my way to her door and they got opened. by a fucking turtle. just a straight up trutle opened those doors
#żmija gada#I assume she left them ajar and the turtel just decided he had to go greet me#but I didn't even know she had one#so I had a moment of panic that I left my brain without oxygen for too long
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I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.
This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.
This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.
But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.
I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.
I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.
I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.
I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#abuse tw#i am not sharing this for the sake of pity and i also ask not to be told to divulge my abuse story. that isn't relevant#i have been needing to engage with this topic for a long time though and judaism has helped me a bit in navigating healing#but i decided to share this publicly in the hopes it will help other survivors specifically of familial/parental abuse#i know how it feels (in general). it's so lonely and you can really harbor (understandable) baggage about this particular commandment#i have a meeting with My Rabbi (sponsoring rabbi) and i might bring this up. we've only spoken once face-to-face (zoom)#so that might be really Intense to bring up to him but he is very kind and i trust him (which is why he is My Rabbi)#and he has already told me that he WANTS me to wrestle with g-d and His word *with* him#again i am posting this publicly so i can document my thoughts and keep them straight but also with the hope it MIGHT help others#if it even *casually* inspires another survivor i will feel so grateful (though it is THEIR achievement and not mine to claim)#i want us to survive. i want us to eat well. i want us to smile#i will say that this must be a very sudden whiplash in tone from my last post about sex. from sex to awful horrific abuse#my stream of consciousness is just Like This though in the sense that i have very sudden realizations and tonal whiplashes#so you're just getting a very frank look into how my brain is structured and what my brain thinks are important enough to think about#if i seem much more verbose it's because i needed to write this on my laptop which makes typing and more importantly yapping even *easier*
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i like my body when it is with your body.
#death note#meronia#near#mello#mihael keehl#nate river#mello dn#near dn#artists on tumblr#horreurart#been working on this one here and there for a long while. i love drawing mello's scar >:) it's like a brain coral or a very shitty maze.#also i cannot remember the last time i posted something even slightly racy so this feels rather scandalous#2024 is the year of posting sexy blorbo art i've decided...#anyway this literally happened in canon it just wasn't relevant to death note's journey. source: trust me#something kind of melancholic about this piece i think. it's like spying on them. it pulled that one ee cummings poem from the#deepest receses of my mind -- i hadn't thought about it in years. it's sooo romantique. to me#girl help the anime boys are in doomed love...#in my mind this forbidden rendezvous is happening in one of those abandoned love motels with heart shaped tubs and round mattresses and#mirrors on the ceiling and wall carpeting. it's kind of gross.#sometime between spk control room meeting and mello dying. rip king at least you got the love of your life laid once (1) one time
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"every once in a while I do get a Charles around here" are those the ones who chose Erik?
#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wade wilson#wolverine#logan howlett#cassandra nova#charles xavier#erik lensherr#cherik#were those the Charles that chose to be with Erik as opposed to saving the world????#were those the Charles that decided to be selfish and be with Erik at the cost of everything ese???????#were those the Charles that created so much disaster in the universe just because he chose his 'old friend'#my brain refused to shut the fuck up this entire movie#and i will make the rest of you suffer for it#cassandra. sandy. sweetie. question really quick.#how many of these charles mentioned erik within the first minute of arriving in your lair?#all?#ok cool
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