#mutuals.... if you wanna say hi
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How are you people gettin asks. I open my inbox and a cartoon moth flies out
#basically i am not very good at maintaining mutual-ationships#but asks and DMs are always open and I am always down to chat to people if you wanna say hi or be nosy#raptor screeches
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#p4#p4g#persona 4#persona 4 golden#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#geeze yosuke just say you wanna spend more time yu :/ theres no need to be so roundabout#I mean i also like interpreting this as him shooting his mouth off with a joke and then realising actually no thats a terrible idea#its not mutually exclusive i guess#but also yeah i wish the game would let us do part time work at junes with yosuke more often#he's good with his queue
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listen I know everybody makes Orpheus and Eurydice quest aus of Nico bringing Jason back BUT we already did Orpheus and Eurydice in canon like at least three times (Nico bringing Percy to the Styx, Nico bringing back Hazel, and Piper in general is Orpheus as an Argonaut) AND we are missing the much simpler canon-established method.
Remember the whole soul-trade thing Nico was doing in BoTL that got dropped completely? Even though it was like the entire subplot with Minos?
The requirement is a soul that has cheated death for a soul that has died. Now, quickly ignoring the convenient emperors running around who very much cheated death and the entire main conflict in TOA is Apollo trying to get rid of them. There are a ton of escaped souls from the whole Doors of Death/Thanatos getting captured thing. They're just kind of around. A lot of them were in the Giant Army but not all of them and a good number of them are random mortals and they're just. Somewhere.
So that's two loose plot threads: Nico is 100% fully aware of a completely Underworld-Legal method for bringing people back from the dead and there's an absolute ton of random souls-who-cheated-death running around who knows where completely unaddressed. Also, we know from BoO that Nico has changed his stance since BoTL and is now completely down for some murder.
Now, is there a very compelling plot within there about Nico and his sense of Underworld justice/Nico's morals and how he views the situation (insert the "That word ['please'] didn’t make sense to Nico. The Underworld had no mercy. It only had justice." quote from BoO of Nico killing Bryce while he's begging for mercy here.) vs Jason's own sense of justice/morals and the knowledge that Nico 100% actually murdered somebody to bring him back. THAT'S FASCINATING. It's a good conflict for a story and it ties up loose threads! We don't need to invent new mechanics the worldbuilding writes the plot all on it's own.
#pjo#riordanverse#nico di angelo#jason grace#not tagging as ship because it does not inherently need to be though most versions of this plot are#and i will say this plotline does have a FASCINATING secondary conflict if you go the ship route with it#because Nico is Ghost King! Jason was A GHOST! NICO CONTROLS GHOSTS!#Ghosts are inherently drawn to Nico and respond to his emotions/commands/etc even if he is not consciously controlling them!#So you could *absolutely* have a secondary conflict of Nico and Jason trying to figure out their feelings for each other#but both of them worrying about trying to parse if their feelings *are* actually mutual#or if Nico accidentally influenced Jason while he was a ghost into reciprocating his feelings and that stuck when he was revived#which is like. extra sucky for Jason to figure out because HE ALREADY WENT THROUGH THAT WITH PIPER. This would be the second time!#can you tell i started writing this once#i never finished it but i stand by it's SUCH a great compelling plot if you wanna go the revive-Jason route
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when i remember everything i let slide
#reflecting…#you hear stories on tiktok from girls saying things they let their bfs get away with and you’re like girl get UP#but when you go through something similar you think your case is different#until you look back after you’ve healed#all this is coming from the fact i’m seeing our mutual friend on friday#and i know she’ll bring him up#and i swear i’m 100% over him and i don’t want him back#but i do NOT wanna learn his news#his name gives me anxiety and a stomach ache#not bc i love him anymore but bc of all the things he put me through#i wish he wasn’t affecting me anymore but i’m recognizing it’s not bc i have feelings but bc of all the hurt he caused me
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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im new here- is dean abusive?
imo yeah. smarter people than me have written dissections of the way he treats sam & others (he’s also Awful to his psuedo-son jack, but i haven’t gotten to that season yet), i’ve probably reblogged a bunch of them.
he certainly doesn’t mean to be & i don’t say it to condemn him as a person or as a character & i’m still very attached to him & he loves sam very much (not that that makes a difference in whether u abuse someone or not) - but the way he treats sam a lot/some of the time is emotionally abusive and sam is clearly badly impacted. s4 and s8 come to mind as his worst moments also ofc moc era - after that there’s less interpersonal conflict (up to where i am at least) but that’s because sam mostly stops disagreeing with dean not because dean actually gets much better <3 spn is cycles of abuse show after all. family is hell. dean’s learnt pretty much everything about how to behave from his abusive father and as a result. well. cycle continues
#anon i wonder which way ur approaching this from - having not considered that dean treats sam badly or having never thought of it as Abusiv#mutuals pls feel free to chime in with ur opinions#wrote a bunch of more detailed responses to this but none of them felt right so i was just like. eh#narrative portrays dean as right like All Of The Time bc the shows morality is deans morality its fucked up so that makes it harder for#fandom to see how awful he is sometimes#but i think a lot of people see his awful behaviour but just wouldn’t call it abusive and rather toxic etc because abusive#is such a ‘strong word’ and people have a lot of personal connotations with it#i don’t often even actually use the word abusive to describe him. but he is! and i’ve been watching s4 and he’s just So awful and it’s been#reminding me hugely#dean crit#<- i guess#spn#oliver talks#asks#it’s more than just like. being awful sometimes. bc it’s this systemic pattern of eradicating sam’s sense of identity outside of him#and punishing sam for ‘disobeying’ him (like s4/8)#dean winchester#supernatural#Also when you start recognising dean as abusive the show becomes a legitimate horror story because fucking hell!!!!#narrative just. sides with him most of the time!!!!#if u wanna think abt it for urself id say make sure u know what abuse actually Is and how it can present & then look at a lot of sam and#dean conflicts. do they seem equal? r both parties being as awful to each other? whats the context?#look away from the view the show is trying to get you to take via like. ending shots and closeups. and look at what theyre actually saying#to each other and what has actually happened#<- i feel like this sounds patronising i dont mean to be😭#if u already think sam&dean r fucked up and had just never defined it as abusive before then feel free to ignore me#there r probably posts in my dean winchester tag much better than this#<- okay apparently i had a lot to say actually. sorry for doing it in the tags
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the urge to interact with those silly bsd rp blogs but then im like "what if the mutuals think im cringe" THE MUTUALS ARE THE RP BLOGS OR INTERACT WITH TGE RP BLOGS WHAT THE FUCJ IM YAPPING ABOUT
ive getting better at interacting with ppl more tho instead of running away slowly but surely
#i love you bsd rp blogs#they are the silliest ever#I KEEP SEEING THEM ON MY DASH AND WANNA SAY HI OR INTERACT BUT GET SCARED#IDK WHY IM SCARED IVE FOUND OUT SEVERAL OF MY FAVORITE RP BLOGS#R OWNED BY MUTUALS OF MINE😭#FUCK I WANNA MAKE A RP BLOG BUT IM SO SCARED FOR NO REASON😭😭😭#i wanna make a pm zai or oda or akutagawa rp blog...#or maybe fyodor...#idk#bsd
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hi mutuals btw if you guys wanna like. talk. or somsethign. i would love to. i would just literally rather put a bunch of flat sodas into one cup and chug it all at once than start a conversation or anything
#obvs if no one has anyhting to talk about then whateva cause like yeaaa but#this is basiclally just saying that hi mutuals. i am a passive minecraft mob or something idk#do whateva you wanna do
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my discord so inactive it's kinda crazy........
#💭 — ⌗nervo rambles . ★#It's mostly the @'s I get from the (very few) servers I'm in#and VERY RARELY a text from a friend..#some of my friends aren't even rlly online....#damn you timezones#or it's just bc they've left the acc AJWHDBFB#I am not very popular irl or online guys swear 🙏🙏#and ik damn well I could be interacting with others and stuff but I've been..#very busy lately....#and I'm going camping next week with a friend soooo#even more busy 💔💔#and I'm a bit nervous to interact with the ppl I look up to..#I'm eyeing all of my mutuals....#even if I've interacted with them a lot before I'm still like#what if.. what if I say hi and they don't wanna talk.... or smth..........#I have two online friends not froyand my goodness it's been ages since eibe held a conversation with them#(unfortunately.. I miss them sm it's a bit painful :(()#ummm yeah guys.. nervo's struggles.. 💔💔#rghhh
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Wait shit people might actually care about me
#sorryyy for the personal posts lmao just not having a great time lately . ill go back to posting abt fandom stuff soon dw#hopefully the self loathing phase is over now cuz i really didnt enjoy that!#mf got me thinking thay everyone secretly hates me n itd be better if i was dead ahahaha#but like. my friends talk to me daily. my mutuals love me. i didnt go to school for like 3 days and my classmate who im kindaaa friends wit#texted me saying. and i quote “Hi [name]. I know its late but i hope your doing well. Hope to cya tmr.” (the full stops symbolize each text#cuz she sent three seperate texts)#and i was just. so flabbergasted at that#i didnt rlly think anyone would really notice if i was gone#i didnt think anyone cared me enough for that#i thought theyd just be indifferent to it#also i sound pathetic rn but i reread that girl's text over n over again when she sent rhat. was literally on the brink of tears#and i just. wow.#people might actually care for me. they might actuallynotice when im gone. they might actually miss me#ive been so inside my head n thinking allat bad stuff about myself that i. didnt think that people might see me differently than the way#i saw myself#really and truly i love you guys so much#even if we've never talked to each pther before or interact very little. i appreciate all of you. you guys rock#anyways aha i should stop rambling now loll. as for now i think im doing a bit better#life still sucks but hey at least i have my friends. at least i dont hate myself anymore now#at least now i dont believe that everyone was being friends with me out of pity#thank you all for everything :')#man i need a hug rn lmao#tw vent#tw sui implied#tw sui ideation#tw self loathing#tw self destructive behavior#<- dw about the tags i dont feel/do those anymore#if you wanna talk to me abt this or just talk in general hit me up!! i love talking to ppl i dont like being alone xd#love youu <33
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considering steve and danny have the worst timing and are prone to miscommunication, it would be just steve's luck if one day he decides he's finally had enough and it's time to tell danny how he feels about him, whatever happens it'll be out on the open and he could finally try to move on if the answer isn't the one he's hoping for.
danny listens to steve's confession with a shock and surprise but clear elation like he's getting an unexpected welcome gift, before he seems to have some realization, disappointment washes over him, his face falls and he says 'YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY TO PLAY WITH MY HEART? AM I A JOKE TO YOU? NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN'.
he storms off leaving distraught and confused steve in his wake, trying to understand where it all went so wrong. then he hears someone say 'happy april fool's, idiot' and it's 'OH SHIT'.
of course the day steve finally decided to confess his love for danny he assumed steve was playing a prank on him. steve was lucky not to experience danny's mean right hook again.
his new mission is to find danny and convince him he wasn't kidding. a mcgarrett always completes his missions.
#mcdanno#h50 scenarios#h50 humour#miscommunication babies#h50#myh50#h50 headcanons#danny: i distinctly remember saying i never wanna see your face again#steve: you don't have to look at me i just need you to know i had no idea what day it was today#danny's little broken 'what?' was like a knife to his heart#idiots in love#mutually pining idiots#anyway of course they will work it out#mcdanno what if#danny: next time check the calendar before making an important confession#steve: don't need to check the calendar to know every day is Loving Danny Williams Day#danny: *blushes* shut up you sap. love you too#steve: *leaning back down for a kiss because he can't get enough* i know#and then they done did it more times ze end.
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billions also comedy gold presenting winston as a scapegoat for abuse culture fans when it's like but hey it can't be actual scapegoating if you Enjoy It or consider it Justified or experience Reassurance from Its Opportunity For A Group Cohesion Substitute For A Cohesion Based On An Inherent Equal Degree Of Belonging, The Absence Of Which Allows For, Encourages, Reinforces, & Rewards Scapegoating
it can't be Bullying if someone's Weird or you Just Don't Personally Like Them or Nobody's Actually Stopping You, Maybe At Least If They Don't See Too Much Of It, Maybe Others Are Supporting It
it can't be Abuse if you're just doing things Normally or are Following Rules or Aren't Feeling Malicious And Aren't Getting Divine Revelations Otherwise and probably it's just that a lot of abnormal people are being whiny &/or unfair &/or the Real malicious ones. kinda just like how that scapegoat is the real person ruining everything and really just forcing you to treat them like this
#might note hardly limited to billions; the series doing bog standard suffocatingly common [Being Normal can't be abusive] replication#nor is their Unaware Replication Of [it can't be ableist if i'm not reacting to ppl who walked up & said Hi I'm Autistic]#well abuse & traumatic treatment can't be Everywhere. like how umm sexism can't be everywhere. neither can white supremacy. ableism. cmon.#oh please not everything can be political. Just Be Normal. which makes it ''apolitical.''#now we all agree abuse can't ever be made palatable; insulated; easy. now ppl doing it never said it wasn't That bad.#if they did they must have been maliciously lying. whereas when i say it can't have been That bad; i mean it :)#and if that person says it was; well they must be lying. or clueless. or a pussy. or scheming to destroy me. Must be. Gotta#& we wouldn't be able to look around & see contexts of imbalance. who's vulnerable. who's life gets smaller. who's supported automatically#who's supported if someone even posits they May have done anything like No; Impossible; now instantly definitely get their ass#you can just go on all day about the ''um i'm just the Realistic Normality vessel'' arguments made boundlessly in bad faith#being like ohh Everyday Interactions / ''Normal'' Semi/Public Situations Can't Be Uncomfortable Imbalanced Dangerous Abusive....#if they are that must be So Rare & created only by Rare Bad Actors with Malicious Mens Rea (itself a great concept to make any act Okay)#something framed as Extreme must be an outlier. could never be part of everyone's everyday life & some much more than others.#could never be what's defined as Normal (associated with Superiority) like how Abuse can't be shit i'd think of as Normal#like how damn if ya don't just wanna kill the autistic coworker and everyone agrees & would clap & cheer if you did And That's Great#you'd have to feel Weird / Abnormal about it! b/c Weirdness & Abnormality is what's bad!#like the autism or the cptsd (the Real abuse can only be: inflicting the existence of a victim's survival skills on Superior Normals)#or whatever else gets pathologized with Polite ABA arguments about how it's not ''social skills'' so hide it or suffer the consequences#winston billions#having that perspective too like oh [our blessed successful conformity] [their barbaric xyz Issues]#if the best you can argue for or against smthing is as Normal or Weird respectively like. no. what's behind that door#the authority figure/s who must be supported lest this all crumble. vs the ruinerrrrrr#billions recognizing winston & tuk the next most shitted on would probably get along & have a mutually supportive friendship#billions also recognizing that mutual support better not be Allowed to get that far. lest this all crumble#like look see we Knew it. we knew the bottom tier ppl who don't really belong in the group who we bully & scapegoat are Always Ruining It.
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I fucking HATE how the fandom treats m.ine. it's so bad 😭
#ash rambles 💚#so many shitty takes... too much time on twitter ruins a man#i hear one more person call him a crazy obsessive yandere and i think I'm actually gonna lose it#he's either portrayed like that or as one half of a ship#his actual character is lost on so many people because oOoOOoOOooOoO mInE wAs GaY#i dont doubt that he likes men. it's just that I've seen so many people be weird about it-#also. it's not fucking sexy to wanna kill your partner. a bullet between the eyes isn't an act of love.#I saw a tweet today about how m.ine actually wanted to kill k.iryu because he thought d.aigo liked k.iryu romantically#and m.ine only wants d.aigo to himself. and THAT'S why m.ine wanted to kill k.iryu.#let that sink in. 😐.#i hate how the fandom treats him SO MUCH#i will sit in my corner here. and i will kiss m#m.ine. and we will kiss a lot. and things are good. we are happy. we are far away from all of that.#I'm not saying every fan of his is horrible. I've seen a lot of great stuff and content! but holy shit I've seen some horrible stuff too#and it's hard to not feel like I'm doing something wrong by shipping with him. by loving a guy who the world has always hated.#and ofc I'm not! but still! even whenever i rb content of him here I'm always so afraid ajdhajsj#like ah yes this is the day i finally get cancelled on tumblr dot com for (checks notes) ... shipping with y.oshitaka m.ine??#I'm honestly afraid to take him up to being an official f/o ajdhajsb i think he'll stay in crush jail a little while longer..#i hate how the fandom perceives him so much!!!!!!! i also just hate the y.akuza fandom in general lmao#i do also like k.iryu so.. I've seen shit 😐#I'll delete this later but oh boy i am in a mood#and i know this isnt the first time I've blogged about this#and for that i do apologize. but i really do love this guy and despite wanting to look for content of him i always end up finding the most#infuriating shit!#i know he's done fucked up things. he's not a great guy. but! our relationship is built on mutual trust and i will NEVER write any of that#creepy obsessive shit that the stupid fandom always portrays him as doing! he's not going to kill someone for getting too close to me-#I'm just... upset- get behind me honey! I'll shield you!#and by kissing him I'm not brushing over any of the shit he does in the game. yes he beheaded that guy. yeah he slapped that orphan.#but i adore him and omg i hit tag limit... oopsie daisy lol sorry guys 😭 I'm really sorry for always talking abt this#you were beautiful 💸
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rambling in the tags incoming
#vent#poks office chair#starting this off w . under no circumstances do i wanna be guilt tripping anybody#ur allowed to not gaf about what i post and draw. what am i a cop#but like. holy SHITTT putting my value and worth into note counts and engagement is gonna kill me#dude my last art post getting NOTHING besides one mutual (hi you know who you are <3 heart emoji tysm ily)#idk what to do i feel like not caring would be freeing but thats easier said than done#saying im like. shadowbanned or whatever feels STUPID#bc. i most definitely am not#but like. idk.#i dont know that my art has ever flopped THAT hard idk if im just new to the fandom but#genuinely makes me want to like. become a hermit#like it feels stupid to be so upset. .#its not even abt reblogs to likes or whatever idc.#kinda terrified that when i shifted my style... my art.. got worse. and improvement isnt linear or anything.#but damn does it sting
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sometimes, i'm like, "eh, i don't like jakob that much" and then i reread his support chain
#fe14#fire emblem fates#fe jakob#jakob x corrin#this man fumbles three times trying to say he'd love to marry corrin#also damn corrin is SO smooth in this s-support#she's like “do you wanna be husband instead since you don't want to be my butler?”#also the whole “i've always liked you” stuff is cute and his voiced line...urgh#mutually pining lady and butler/retainer is a trope that owns my heart#fates really gave me three different options for nearly the same dynamic and silas is even your childhood friend#at least it's easier to choose because there's no forced child recruitment#unlike a certain game that keeps me trapped into choosing the same dude over and over again
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hiatus
#hi guys i know this is a lil random but i didn’t want to go all mia to my mutuals and seem like im ghostin!#i have found a lot of things out recently to say the least and a lot is happening right now#due to that i just right now feel scared to interact here and be active because you never really know who is watching i guess#i just think i need to get comfortable again or something#i might be around some i truly don’t know#i just like given certain things if you guys wanna still be mutuals and interact just shoot me a message#thanks for understanding#im kind of sad abt it but quite literally a little spooked#anyways thank u for readin this far i love u all!!#n maybe one day i can kind of share more publicly idk
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