#multiple illnesses
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Freaking out because I might have an autoimmune disease AND breast cancer along side the Gastroparesis that I already have. Y'all I'm not okay. Fuck.
#should i just accept the fact that I'm dying#chronic illness#multiple illnesses#congruently#venting#scared#i'm not okay
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Do You Love The Color Of The 413?
#HOMESTUCK#413#HOMESTUCK 413#john egbert#dave strider#rose lalonde#jade harley#vriska#kanaya#terezi#karkat#HAPPY 413 YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!#THIS TOOK ME 4 DAYS PLEASE LOVE IT#AHHHHHHH IVE NEVER MADE ANYTHING THIS BIG BEFORE#IT'S NOT AS FINISHED AS ID LIKE- LIKE I USED A LOT OF JUST MULTIPLICITY LAYERS FOR SHADING BUT#I DONT HAVE MUCH TIME LMAO#ALSO IM PRETTY SURE TUMBLR WILL EAT THE QUALITY SO PLEASE CLICK TO ZOOM LOL#ART#MY ART#heavens. i dont know if i should tag all the characters?#ill only tag the bigger characters i guess#since so many are in there#it's supposed to be transparent and not black#but apparently tumblr will turn transparency white if the photo is too large#fucking great
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beating artblocks ass with a more steampunk-y tango
#nics art#kinda wanna give my normal tango design his create mod prosthetic arm#now that i kind of know how i wanna draw it#tangotek#tangotek fanart#hermitcraft#hermitcraft fanart#hermitcraft s10#hate that now that i've got time to draw ive been really struggling to#whaaaaaaaaat#anyway i gave it a rest for a few days hopefully ill get back into the swing of things (it is not often i stop drawing for multiple days)#(in fact its often a sign of me feeling like shit if i haven't drawn in more than 3 days)#(im fine though this was a conscious decision to do other shit to give myself a break. healthy . i think.)
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Another year, Another lesbian pride gown moment🌸
#deliart#pride 2024#jjba#jojo's bizarre adventure#jolyne cujoh#hermes costello#jolymes#stone ocean#I MADE IT . LAST DAY BUT I MANAGED TO FINISH IT BEFORE JUNE ENDED#This artwork file ended up with well over 500 layers#i would check the specifics but im not gonna open that thing and wait for a solid 3 mins for it to load LMAO#there are soo many things i wanna change and do differently but its the last day of pride month so times up!#wait i had to change a thing so i opened the clip file and we were on 546 layers not counting differently named ones#like copied layers. of which there are multiple. “layer 133 copy 2 copy 1”. its bad. im NOT gonna merge layers tho.#either way. i wanted the dress fabric layers to have a bit of a butterfly wing feel but i got a little sidelined#maybe ill make a more direct version next year?
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hey guys… we all know that it’s okay for mithrun to have a caretaker for the rest of his life, right? that even after he heals and potentially regains his desires he will probably still need support?? that the goal of healing is not to become a “normal person”, but to build skills to navigate the world in a way that accommodates your disability??? that relying on the people around you is not a failure, but proof of your desire to live????
#i’ve seen multiple posts the last couple weeks saying that post-canon fan works that show mithrun w/ a caretaker#are ‘wrong’ because they imply that he will never overcome his trauma#there’s something more to be said about the difference in the perception of/expectations for mithrun’s recovery#depending on whether you read him as an allegory for depression or an allegory for chronic (physical) illness#both are valid btw - it just may change the way you headcanon his future (especially if you live with something similar yourself)#but that’s for another post that i will probably never make#dunmeshi#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#dunmeshi spoilers#mithrun#mithrun of the house of kerensil
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they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?
they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.
you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.
you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.
mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.
you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.
#writeblr#warm up#to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace#but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X'#and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!''#babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3#mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES#and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for#than have 1 kid NOT get help#but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here#bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness''#it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!''#& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness#but use it to defend THEIR actions#like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell?#you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse?#but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck?#your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross?#HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like#all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like.#anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol
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Made in the Image of Bill
Closeups of the quality gets roasted (just like bills family) ->
#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#silas birchtree#silas birchtree fanart#gf bill cipher#bill cipher fanart#bill cipher#BRO I LOVE SILASSO MUCH YAYAYAYAYAYAYAHAHAHAGDGAHAVAAAA#YAYSGDHSHSGAHAAHAHAHA#ROTTING CORPSE#I LOVE IT SO MUCH#HOT TAKE MAYBE BUT THIS IS A BETTER VERSION OF MICHEAL AFTON#I LOVE THSI SO MUCH BROO#BILL#PEAKED HERE#BILL LITERALLY PEAKED WITH SILAS LMAO#also I love this his name means forest so it’s like a birch forest#Minecraft reference oh my gooodd#ANYWYAS#YES#ILL STAND BY THIS AND DIE ON THIS HILL#I FULLY THINK THAT#like bro bill went absolutely crazy#and indulged in every selfish thing he wanted to#HE WAS COPING AHAHAA#like#I just know everytime he reminded his multiple wives that he was the local epic god he would secretly mope about his family#idk maybe the his traumatic backstory beans on my mind too much and now I’m trying to include it into the narrative of EVERYTHING HES DONE#the book of bill#book of bill
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I love Arson he's my favorite heater but I should really get a cheap laptop one day so I can leave the house to write because the Noise. Is . Too Much. I need to go write in the forest
#I live in a very very full and busy house hold#and sometimes it makes it extremely difficult to work#both on art stuff and packaging#but also writing especially#i have horrible executive dysfunction but on good days ill still try and get thwarted by multiple inturruptions and loud sounds#and on bad days ill just completely shut down from it all#adhd meds and headphones cannot fix Other People In My Space lmao#sara shush#personal#complaining#Unfortunately if i ask to be left alone or for quieter volume i will get neither of those even if i lock my door#I legit have a sign on my door that lets people know when im live streaming and have asked not even volume control just to be left alone#and there will still be knocking on my door for questions like 'can you go get something from the store'#i need. people to understand that if i am busy esp if i am doing packages and stickers and stuff that i am WORKING#please treat it like im at a 9-5 office building somewhere act like i dont exist#you dont just walk into someones place of work and start venting/asking them of things while theyre at their job#'but you're at home' yes and im still working and i have communicated this several times#i did not mean to vent but GOD
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save me senior cat on petfinder, save me
#my post#I am admittedly very shocked by the adoption fee for 3 of these cats#on one hand I understand the shelters need money#on the other hand $175 for a senior cat with multiple health issues 😵💫#I am very spoiled by getting most of my terminally ill cats for free
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in which hunter’s possession goes a whole lot worse
#my art#toh#the owl house#hunter toh#luz noceda#toh fanart#the owl house fanart#cw body horror#i realized i never posted this to tumblr? it’s from december 2023 LOL#i always forget to post art here!!!#au my friends and i were playing around with#rot au#or carcass hunter..lol#but its october so. it is on my mind again heavily#i love small town / forest horror#back in 2022 before TTT i had been writing some stuff w/ a more horror-mystery aspect based on the teasers and fan spec at the time#so i was having fun with this#at some point i wanna more fully write/draw out some stuff in relation to this au#one thing about me i LOVEEE designs with multiple faces. i have done a number of them i have yet to post but Youll See#okay rambling over ill write an actual text post later fjshdkdhxk
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<- Part 3 ->
#one more little update before I get busy again#yes this will be a multiple part comic#no I don’t know how often i will update#but ill try to be consistent#thanks everyone for reading!#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#post shredder comic
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Headmate 1: I wanna watch this show
Headmate 2: I want to start learning sign language
Headmate 3: Well I want to learn new art mediums
Headmate 4: NO, practicing our digital art!
Headmate 5: We should really be finding a job
Headmate 6: Hey remember those phone calls you need to make
Me: ...
Stays in bed all day because ADHD said no
#system shit#endo safe#actually mentally ill#pluralpunk#system issues#actually adhd#actually audhd#adhd system#audhd system#audhd problems#task paralysis#endo friendly#pluralgang#system#multiplicity#plural#plural system#did osdd#polyfrag system#polyfragmented#cofronting#co consiousness#yami posting#im going to cry
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late night swimming with narilamb :3
some yapping abt them under here + template
This takes place about 5-ish years after their initial battle so he's just well enough to walk on his own. Narinder sustained pretty severe injuries that took years to even begin mending and in that time they both discovered that he really enjoys being fully in water. Warm baths are a favourite activity of his and, in summer, swimming! It used to be only at the large lake near the cult bc thats how far Lambert was willing to risk taking him.
Swimming is good for him bc it's an activity he can do a lot of (relatively) without his whole body hurting and a way to build some muscle back. He only goes at night so he doesn't get ill from the intense summer heat.
Also his hut has many shells decorating it and Mere (incoming bat cult oc that became his friend on accident) has received some as well! He's still looking for a Pretty Shell tm for lamb, but they are just happy that he has a friend.
heres the template!
#why do they have their tummy exposed you ask? vibes#narinder is gonna be losing sleep over it ill tell ya that#yeah they've taken multiple baths together. yeah hes still on the verge of exploding. it b like that#btw the thing thats 'figured out' is Narinders mobility and not their situationship lmao#pre relationship yearning beloved#lamb sees naris godhood as more of a curse bc of what it did to him and how much pain it caused him#hes still a god but neither know it so. uhhh#cotl#pebbles (me) ramblers#my art#narilamb#cotl narinder#cotl lamb#cotl narilamb#cotl fanart#narinder x lamb
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Feeling extra disabled, gonna start saying that abled people doing normal amount of stuff is them “having the zoomies”
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Wild that total drama is dragging out the most consistent uploads in a while out of me
Starting w coloured sketches and then,, did anybody say,, Sierra redesign?
Decided to go in hard on the fandoms that would have been prevelant back when td started airing,, that is to say, Dr Who + Supernatural ((Sierra is a heller don't @ me))
#total drama#total drama world tour#td heather#td alejandro#alejandro burromuerto#total drama world tour fanart#total drama fanart#td sierra#td cody#td gwen#td courtney#td duncan#td noah#td tyler#td trent#td lindsay#td izzy#td eva#td bridgette#tdi fanart#tdi#tdwt fanart#tdwt#total drama redesign#ill be back on the aleheather grind soon#in fact i have multiple sketchpages full of them that have yet to see the light of day#i dont have favourites wdym#team escope#what would Bridgette nd Courtneys ship name be thats the real question
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a Charon i drew as a gift for my brother since hes his fallout pookie. ragh 🧟♂️☢️
#btw sorry to all my sweetiepie followers for not posting ummmmmm. since august. uni and internships kept me busy but i prommy i have#multiple wips that ill post in the next months. raaah#fallout 3#fo3#fallout#charon#charon fallout
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