#moving on in life

[electribunny]

my last night sleeping here…goodbye to my very first apartment!!!

[mental-health-advice]

I had a crush on someone last year and it was very strong in the beginning and eventually subsided after a month or two. I also really admired the person platonically and wanted to be their friend/get to know them better as well, so it wasn't entirely a romantic thing. Anyway, when I pulled myself together I did say goodbye to them and everything (we're at university so I won't see them again because of the year ending etc) and had asked them if they wanted to hang out (1)

(2) It was a message, so they responded to my goodbye and everything, but not the hanging out part, so i got the gist that they werent interested. I feel guilty tho bcs I think about them here and there still, some times more than others, and honestly sometimes check if they're online. Idk, maybe it makes me feel connected. I feel like i'm invading some kind of boundaries/privacy and it makes me so uncomfortable. I dont want to do that. but why are they still on my mind almost a year later?

(3) why cant i just move on? I dont get why im like this. I wish I could just forget them and move on, but ive always been sensitive to rejection. It did hurt, but i'm not in the same place right now and I just wish I could get rid of them from my memory and move on.

Hey there,

It can be so difficult when we become friends with someone regardless if it is a friendship or something more and then having to part with them for some reason, whether it is in or out of our control.

I know that you mentioned that you sent this person a message saying goodbye but asking if they still wanted to hang out now and again but when they replied saying goodbye, maybe they were in a rush and didn’t fully read the message and consequently not taking it all in and it not fully registering in their mind of what you were asking? Or perhaps they got confused with you saying your goodbye but then asking if they still wanted to hang out with you? Whatever the reason though (and you only have to do this if you feel comfortable doing so) but maybe send a follow up message to them asking if they wanted to hang out and do something with you like getting a coffee or something like that?

In regards to not being able to get them off your mind and always thinking of them, this is completely normal. For example, I recently lost contact with a really good friend of mine (their decision not mine) and I still can’t get them off my mind and it’s been over a year now. I also often see on messenger if they have been online or not. I don’t feel it’s an invasion of privacy though but more of just curiosity if that makes sense?

Another example, slightly different was many years ago when I decided to change therapists. The therapist I stopped seeing though was still constantly on my mind with many questions going around and around in my head. Things like:

Does she hate me

Did I end things right

Does she think of me too

Why didn’t I just suck it up and keep seeing her (I am also quite sensitive when it comes to relationships ending or being rejected by another)

I was very lucky in the above situation though as I was able to reconnect with her for a one off therapy session to allow me to get some closure and just talk about how things ended and why and just an update on how I have been going since that therapeutic relationship ended. This helped a me a lot and she is no longer on my mind like she was.

I guess what I am trying to say is that even if this person doesn’t want to see you or hang out, is there a way that you can get closure from the relationship you had with them? Perhaps you could ask if you could see them to say a proper goodbye face-to-face or even do something memorable for them as a way of saying goodbye in your own personal/ special way by yourself?

There is nothing wrong to have them on your mind still but I do understand the frustration with this and the wanting to just lose ‘those memories’ in a way so you can continue your life without any obstacles if that makes sense?   

This is where closure can be really helpful but again not always possible like (yes another example sorry) but my last therapist died suddenly from cancer and although I saw her and said goodbye I still think of her often and sometimes every day. I write letters to her sometimes and this seems to help at times but I also feel like remembering her is a healthy thing for me as she was a positive aspect of my life.

So, is there a possibility where you could write a letter to this person (it doesn’t need to be sent) just expressing how you feel, what the relationship meant to you, and that even though you may have had some really great times together, you want to just move on now and get on with your life. This may or may not be helpful but maybe worth giving it a go as sometimes when we get things out of our head and onto paper it can really help.

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going well!

Take care,

Lauren

[wasabi-gumdrop]

local ladies man’s signature move totally useless against autistic monster enthusiast. more on Kabru’s fumble era at 6

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

historical drama/sitcom where two gay best friends (woman and man) get lavender married--and proceed to spend the Fancy European Honeymoon their parents paid for acting as each other's wingman

[wanologic]

sorry danny, sam will never think you’re cool

[girlboyburger]

alright tumblr, here's your homegrown cowgirl C:{

what do you think of her?

[sunlitsoil]

there is always tomorrow

[hymnsofheresy]

everytime i tell europeans my favorite cuisine is texmex & sonoran they are like “American bastardized Mexican food?” and i feel like im going insane. its not bastardized. its their fucking cuisine.

[missinyouiskillingme]

[thepersonalwords]

You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened… or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move on.

Tupac Shakur

[montereybayaquarium]

✨ Makana travels the Aquarium ✨

From watching the drifting jellies to being all about that (sea)bass, Makana’s journey around the Aquarium is an enriching experience! Makana is one of our resident Laysan albatrosses. She’s offered excursions like this one as part of her care. These outings provide her with new smells, sounds, and sights to "sea" as she cruises through the building. 

🌍Makana broke her left wing as a young chick and lost the ability to fly long distances, which is why she resides with us. These enrichment activities keep her mind sharp and offer her new experiences.

But did you know that seabirds in the wild face some serious challenges? 🥺 As an ambassador for her species, Makana helps us highlight the dangers of plastic pollution threatening the health of our oceans. It’s up to us to help! 🌊

Let’s make sure Makana’s seabird friends don’t have to wing it alone. Learn more about our conservation work.

[worldlywritr]

Oh yes, the past can hurt. But you can either run from it, or learn from it.

- Rafiki, The Lion King

[ruporas]

your love returns in tragedy (ID in alt)

[rust-berrie]

the concept of the farmer being a literal anomaly to the townspeople bc of their in-game features and add-ons will always b so funny to me. so heres a little silly doodle i made.

(edit: ermm... numba two)

[brownpaperhag]

if any non-palestinians, especially in ‘the west,’ especially in positions of bodily safety, especially especially whites, are still feeling hopeless and lost about the genocide, may i offer, as gently as possible... get over it. your body is safe. you have been told over and over and over exactly what you can do to help, in exhaustive detail according to your specific social and political position. find out what you should do and do it if you can. if you can’t, that’s on you. find something you can do. stop asking palestinians to tell you what to do; take what is already given. you can find the instructions that have already been so explicitly left for you. you are an adult. your job is to keep moving. you are not allowed to be hopeless — that is a betrayal of everything the palestinian community and its supporters stand for. keep moving. don’t let anyone tell you that anti-zionist means anti-semite. don’t let anti-zionists around you become anti-semites. don’t let islamophobia stand. know that propaganda works and it’s working on you right now. keep moving. you are an adult. your life is yours to care for — that means finding the support you need, which also means knowing the boundaries and needs of those supporting you. you aren’t special. you aren’t alone. keep moving. you are not a hero. you are safe. you have agency. there is nothing you can do that can’t be done by someone else while you recharge. you are part of a collective; no one is looking directly at you. do what you can, and if you can do nothing, make your peace with that. palestine has no time for your shame or your guilt. feel these feelings when they come to you and then move through them.

[selfhealingmoments]