#mostly for Dead Gay Wizards from the 70s

[wingsmadeforflying]

Vent: Extreme Empathy to Extreme Apathy

Going from being the Mom and Therapist friend, extremely emphatic and sympathetic, helping with emotions, etc. -> has trouble feeling emotions, can't deal with hearing about other people's emotions, feels uncomfortable discussing emotions, etc. Is such. A whiplash.

(below is a vent, it's got nothing to do with anything, just flowing thoughts. Maybe someone will relate, unsure.

Keep scrolling if you don't care/don't relate/whatever! Friendly neighborhood multifandom tumblr account just ranting)

Looking back on myself and wtf I was able to do, being able to talk people down. Now, I can't think of anything to say. I just sit and go emotionless, I process things mechanically and offer advice. I can't just go "It's ok, lean on me, tell me your problems and we'll absorb them together", idk how to do that anymore. I have to give solutions, otherwise why are you coming to me?

Definitely trauma from having that emotional weight put on me. I just wanted my friends alive and not hurting. I'm now incapable of reaching out if it's an obvious ploy to draw people in and ask if they're alright. If I feel it's necessary or I decided I did something wrong and need to comfort them, I'll do that. But if you sit outside crying where I can hear it, or post a vague message on social media, I cannot bring myself to do anything. I'll tip-toe around it. I don't want to be someone's venting tube. All I'm going to get from it is stress and more worry and I don't want nor need that.

I can't talk people down anymore. If someone reaches out personally, I'll try. But I can't promise my emotions won't just. Shut out.

Also coming to terms with not having to be a good person all the time. I can be shitty and make mistakes. I'm human, I'm not a heart of gold machine. Being selfish and putting myself first for my mental health? Not a bad thing. Not putting the weight of the world and people's lives and emotions on my shoulders? Also not a bad thing. Other people's bad feelings are not my problem, I am not their keeper.

I can still feel empathy. But it doesn't come as easy as it used to and that's really scary, but also alleviating, in some ways.

[siriuslygay1981]

Click. Click. Clickclick-

Remus felt his agitation start to rise

Click. Clickcli-

His arm shoots out quickly and snatches the pen before he chucks it across the common room violently. He doesn't look up from his book even with the scandalized gasp and soft sound of the pen hitting the ground.

He turns the page and almost sighs in relief. His irritation slowly going away. Finally some peace and quiet.

Click.

His head whips to the side where Sirius holds another pen. He practically snarls as he slams his book shut, he looks at Sirius and crosses his arms.

"Sirius, for my sanity...what the fuck are you doing?" He hissss angrily

Sirius waves him off his finger drifting towards the back of the pen again. Remus latches onto his wrist and waits for Sirius to look at him. Sirius still looks out of it even as he slowly makes eye contact but he doesn't click the stupid pen again, so he counts it as a win.

"Spit it out or get rid of the pen." He gently takes the pen and shoves it in his robe pocket, now feeling concerned. What had Sirius so out of it?

"I just....do you think regulus has been seeing someone?" Sirius asks after a long period of silence. He stares at his hands and then to where Remus still holds him gently.

Remus let's go and sighs. He resists the urge to hex Sirius before taking a deep breath. He looks around the common room and doesn't see anyone who can take over this ridiculous conversation so he powers on. He shrugs nonchalantly, tries to figure out what he knows.

"why do you say that?"

Sirius shrugs and drums his fingers against the table in front of them. Remus twitches, his lips pursing together.

"Just..a feeling. He'd tell me if he was, wouldn't he?" He murmurs. He suddenly stills and whips his head towards Remus

"are you dating my brother!?"

It's such an absurd question, such a stupid silly thing to ask. Remus bursts into laughter, his stomach aches, he can barely breathe. By the time he's in tears he sees Sirius' put out look so he tries to calm down and take this seriously.

"Siri- Sirius please- what are you on about-" he shakes his head and wipes the tears from his eyes still grinning

"Lord no...no I'm not- what don't give me that look!" He exclaims

Sirius glowers at him and pouts, swiftly turning his body away from Remus in a childish way of saying 'im mad at you'.

"Did you want me to say yes!? Pads what is your problem?"

He turns towards Sirius with a raised eyebrow

"You said it as if he was gross! I thought you were best friends!"

Remus gaped at Sirius for a moment before pinching the bridge of his nose

"Pads...I can't believe I have to say this-" he takes a deep breath and exhales harshly

"I'm not attracted to your brother but he's still attractive...objectively."

Sirius scowls deeper and huffs

Remus thinks about jumping off the astronomy tower.

"now what's the problem?"

"Well...it's just weird you said he's attractive. He's younger than you and he's my brother!"

Remus' eye twitches

"One he's only a year younger and two he's of age- no wait- you were mad I didn't think he was attractive and now your mad I said he is?"

"Yes! Maybe I'll just go see prongs! He'd never be so terrible to me!"

Oh how wrong he was. Remus almost snorted, he watched as Sirius stomped out of the common room with fond eyes. He was irritated for sure but he was also highly amused.

Pulling out the map he quickly searches for James's name. He isn't surprised to see him far too close to one regulus black. Rolling his eyes he searches for Sirius and immediately chokes on a laugh

"Oh boy...that's not good."

[a-sunset-outside-my-window]

fic recs of the month

this is just a collection of my recs of the last month, have fun <3

Astronomia Nova

by sreka ( @smodernlife )on Ao3

Sirius Black is almost thirty, almost always alone, and almost always stressed out. For the past four and a half years he's been raising his late best friends' son, just trying to keep himself afloat.

But his exhausting life of school drop-offs and staff meetings is interrupted when he runs into a gorgeous librarian - literally - destroying a priceless book in the process. As the men continue to meet - by chance or by design - they become more drawn to one another. Soon Sirius will have to make a choice: risk throwing a wrench into his already-chaotic life and threaten the stability he's work so hard to create for Harry, or risk losing the exquisite man who's slowly but surely captured his heart.

Go East

by @xinasvoice on Ao3

Remus has been running for a long time. Eventually, he runs into a strange castle built by a wizard and his young apprentice. The longer he stays, the more secrets he uncovers...and the less he wants to leave.

This is a novel-length adventure story that loosely follows the plot of Howl's Moving Castle. It does not require knowledge of the HMC book or movie to enjoy it.

Regulus Black and the What the Hell

by @gonzoclock on Ao3

Four-year-old Luna has been able to see lights her whole life- and when both of her parents die in an explosive magical accident, she decides to grab on to one of the lights and follow it.

Meanwhile, Regulus Black has never really thought of himself as the parental sort- he's hardly interacted with a child in his life, much less raised one. But when two magically inexplicable orphans show up and somehow resurrect him- well, what else was he supposed to do? Not immediately adopt them? Yeah, right.

(Features little Luna and Harry adopting each other as siblings and Regulus being in way, way over his head)

Not If It's You

by estas_absentis on Ao3

In 1985, Remus Lupin is getting by, raising Harry, and trying not to think about the past. When Sirius gets a new trial, that past becomes impossible to ignore.

[Wolfstar Big Bang 2019 fic]

Speaking with Serpents

by heliantheae @overpricedpeonies on Ao3

In which Harry would like nothing more than to become a world-renowned herpetologist, and he won't let a little thing like the existence of magic get in his way. If that means attending a school called Hogwarts—and really, how is he supposed to frame that on his college applications—then so be it.

By Moonlight

by Eiiri on Ao3

After the Battle of Hogwarts, Remus recognizes something familiar in Draco Malfoy and offers him sanctuary. With nowhere else to turn--his parents in prison, his home a crime scene--Draco reluctantly accepts and becomes a tolerated, if not welcome, member of his schoolyard rivals' and wartime adversaries' family of choice. As pages of the lunar calendar turn and the summer wears on, Draco and the others begin to see each other in a different light.

that's it for the months of december and january ^^ hope you have an amazing rest of your day and happy reading!

[withdrco]

Preview Acme of Darkness - Chapter 35

only on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/57786268/chapters/147075943

here we are, we're reaching the fourth year, this is the year where a lot of things will change! i hope you'll like it ♡ don't hesitate to leave me a comment or a message on my question box on tumblr (even anonymous)

"We need to know within Slytherin who our allies are and who our enemies are," explained Carrow.

"I don't think we can trust mere half-bloods," commented Rowle.

Snape mumbled something near Lorelei.

"We have to talk with the most pure-blood that we don't have yet in our ranks," continued the seventh year.

"Anyone that doesn't respect pureblood values should be severely reprimanded, and banned, we can't put students like that into our group," said Desmond Avery.

"Yes, it is obvious that anyone who does not respect the values worthy of purebloods should not be considered wizards, they are only traitors to their blood!" reprimanded Yaxley.

"What a shame!" cried a dark-haired girl.

"We have to monitor and control the behavior of the other Slytherin purebloods, the ones we're not sure of yet!" explained a sixth year.

"We must not let ourselves be stepped on by these muggle lovers who invade the school halls!" exclaimed another seventh grade.

"Remember, for those who were there during the meetings, what we were told, what we have to do," began Regulus harshly. "They think they are integrated, they think they are part of the wizarding world, because this school gives them a kind of hope! But all this is false, they must be made to understand that they are not in their place and that they were never wanted."

"Dumbledore is poisoning the wizarding world!" screamed a fifth-year girl. 

chapter will be released tonight (uk timeslot)

[abunchobirds]

child of the stars - fish in a birdcage

[my-moony-and-padfoot]

Y'know, sometimes I feel bad because of the way I write and describe things, and it's not because I mostly write angst, but because of the way I write characters. Especially when it's not the typical way or complies with canon, which happens to be most of the time, because that's the way I think about this characters

Maybe I feel like this because on my late night scrolls of my Tumblr feed, I see a lot of people talking about the way other people write. Like we shouldn't feminize certain characters, or give them some personality traits that "don't fit them". And yeah, I understand this when it's overly done, tacky or done in a discriminating way.

One example of this is writing Sirius as a short person because canonically he's tall. Like what does it really matter? Besides, I think it's much cuter that way, and I don't really understand what's the problem with making changes like this. Especially when we are talking about fictional characters

And some people are really mad about this, like why? I thought we all knew that if you don't like it, don't read it. I totally understand this when there's a reason to get angry or upset, but when it's just the way someone writes or decides to portray a certain character I don't understand and can't get behind it. Maybe it's just me though?

The reason why this makes me feel bad is because I probably write that way. Well, I know I write that way most of the time. I don't really care about canon that much, for me it's just a vague guideline, and I hate ends where everything doesn't go well, and don't really see a problem with that. I write like that because I enjoy reading it myself. So why shouldn't I? That's what fanfic is about after all, isn't it?

I've lately been going back to my older fics and reading them, and I see all these "mistakes" which aren't really mistakes. I did it intentionally, I wrote it, and now I read it and I notice the thing I did "wrong" but I don't think it's wrong?

I feel like writing characters differently, or writing something that isn't canon, just makes it better, and gives the characters more depth. But again, maybe that's just me.

Maybe I just don't understand why we're fighting (or getting mad) about dead gay wizards from the 70s

I don't know why I wrote this, just came to mind this morning when I woke up way too early. And I know it doesn't really matter what I say, but I just want to share my thoughts, cause why not?

<3

[zonedallthewayout]

A bit about me :D

Name: Zone ---for now, i can't figure out what my name is yet :'/

Pronouns: he/him ------------but I honestly don't care if you use any neos for me too (https://en.pronouns.page/@Zoned_WayOut)

I am in fact a minor so don't be w e i r d

Reason for username: I am for some reason constantly zoned out of reality and occasionally zone back in

Favorite quote: "In a society where all adventure has been destroyed, the only adventure left is to destroy that society."

What I post about: Random stuff I enjoy mostly. Also whatever fandom that took over my brain that week. I'll update the list below if I remember lmao

FANDOMS:

in no particular order

Percy Jackson/Riordanverse

X-Men (Movies/kind of the shows)

BBC Merlin

Doctor Who

The Marauders (entirely fuck jkr however dead gay wizards from the 70s are stuck in my brain)

Psych

Gravity Falls (I haven't read the Book of Bill yet tho)

CBC Elementary

Dead Poets Society

Some of Marvel

[siriuslygay1981]

Don't look too closely guys 🙏🏼 but here's regulus and Pandora. Also my art style is changing so it's in an awkward stage! Also I haven't done much digital art so you guys get the bad quality picture from my sketchbook.

"Some souls just understand each other upon meeting."

[popculturebuffet]

Jingle Belle: A Very Special Jingle Belle Special or A goofy holiday comic and a long tired rant about the animation industry

Ho ho ho and merry Christmas as we reach the final stretch of Christmas reviews and it’s all Christmas all the time for the rest of the week for obvious reasons. So we’re starting off by wrapping up Jingle Belle for the season with one more comission. While it’s from my usual client, It’s via patreon as for 5 bucks a month you can get a review a month of your choice. But since that hasn’t taken hold just yet, and won’t till next month, he asked to swap it for this month and here we are.  Not much to cover though this is the very comic where Jing hopped publishers from Oni Press to Dark Horse. The whys I genuinely do not know and at the time, I just know it’s weird to talk about Dark Horse these days. Their not dead nor entirely irrelvant, Resident Alien, which I really want to check out as it has a really engaging premise, is getting a tv show that I also want to check out as while i’m not sure if it’ll be good, it’s still Alan Tudyk playing an alien who can barely pass for human and it hilariously shows. Whenever that streams i’m not missing a second of that and we all know it. And Umbrella Academy, started during bigger days for the company, is one of netflix’s hottest shows and one of many shows on my to do list I haven’t gotten to because I procastinate like no one else and as taking an entire month to get to the newest loud house shows to the point another one popped up, it bites me in the ass a lot. Point is their not GONE in relevance.. but at the same time they’ve lost the huge tide of liscences they road in on. Except for the Joss Whedon stuff, Marvel’s pretty much taken EVERYTHING from them via various deals: Star Wars, Conan and now Alien. Their still standing and makes good art books and clearly given Resident Alien good content, they’ve lasted this long their not going anywhere, it’s just really weird to think about. I will however give them huge credit for giving out tons of comics in early quarantine, and being easily the most generous company next to marvel. I.e. one of the few that actually gave out full collections. 

But yeah at the time this was probably a safe move as Dark Horse had a love of one shots and likely a larger budget. Hence why from here on out the stories are in living color, and have a slightly diffrent art style to boot. Granted the character would shift artists but now it’s got a clear more cartoony art style I like a lot better courtsey of Jose Garabaldi. So yeah with christmas on our heels, let’s ring a ding jing, it’s A Very Special Jingle Belle Special. 

We won’t be covering the backup for this one though it is quite good, it’s just not what kev asked or paid for. 

We open on a parade!

While batman foils the joker’s poisioning scheme, Santa rides on a float proudly and   Jing is hanging out on the back grumpy. It’s a great introduction for new readers showing Santa being big and jolly and what you expect while Jing grumps in the back with a “Sheesh, Daddy”. That’s how you establish a character well in only a few panels. IT’s really great is what i’m saying. Some teens pop up but don’t belivie her about being Santa’s daughter and when going to a christmas shop to try and find figures of her, the owner claims he dosen’t.. and well violence insues. You’ve met jing right?  Anyways Jing is understandably a wee bit absolutely livid the world dosen’t know about her. Her parents sure but her? Nope. And it’s easy to see why: She’s the daughter of the world’s most famous man.. but despite all the holiday lore and junk she’s just the part he likes to hide from people.. or that’s how it feels. While he ducks it, she even gives him a nice save fatty it’s clear that even if she brought it up to rile him a bit.. she does feel on some level like he likes to tuck her away and hide her because he’s ashamed and because she’s not perfect. Granted she does act out and stuff, but she’s still his kid and i’ts still gotta sting. Though she has the perfect idea to fix this: A christmas special. Santa suggests just doing good deeds but Jing is right: her idea is better. Mostly because, as cyncial as this is.. more people are going to pay attention to a good holiday special than a celebrity’s kid doing charity and for far longer. A good christmas special just sticks in the brain and sticks with you forever. It’s why Santa Claus is Coming to Town and A Charlie Brown Christmas have lasted decades or why my list of best chirstmas specials is pretty weighty. They just stick with you so while this can’t possibly end well.. her plan is actually a really good one this time. 

So Jing takes her friends off the line to help her animate it, stop motion styles and they remind her of her LAST christmas special. 

I mean I’m a sucker for any refrence to Star Wars Holiday Special. You’d think after several decades of jokes at it’s expense, with tons of youtubers, many of whom are dead to me but that’s besides the point, tackling the thing without it getting stale, that we’d eventually grow tired of mocking it but .. no. It’s a bottomless well of what they were thinking. The only question left is why isn’t it on Disney Plus.. I mean.. you made a second one as an affectionate parody and in lego. Kids are going to know about this now. Just put the thing up. Even edited down or just some clips. You put Rise of Skywalker up there, you’ve proven your threshold for shame when it comes to this franchise is vast. Just person up and do it.  But Jing’s learned her lesson.. stop motion only and to follow the bouncing formula to sucess. So in the special which sadly isn’t all stop motion and is just drawn to resemble the specials, probably for the best but still, Jing and her animal pals are sneaking into a town where christmas was banned! Meeting the chirstmas legion of doom.. well okay that’s what i’m calling them. Burgermeister Budweiser! Bungle the Abominable Snow Monster! Frost Master and Heat BLister! The Frost Fakir.. wait the what?

........

I mean where do I even begin? I know this was during the war on terror, I know that.. but still I expect better from Paul Dini for a crosses the line twice joke than “hey let’s just make bin laden into an ice wizard!”. I mean South Park made fun of him too, but they went all out with a looney tunes homage. Put effort in. And even years after he died the lonely island did this beautiful thing in the film pop star: never stop stoppin, which you should watch seriously watch it it’s underated. 

Point is you can do better and if you don’t have room to do better then just.. don’t. You could’ve put in a t-rex in a top hat and monocle.  That would’ve genuinely been better... because it’s better than everything ever btu that’s besides the point. There’s also one last addition to the rogue’s gallery thank god. 

He hates her too. Now that gag is actually reallyf ucking funny. What’s also funny is how she solves things. By singing a nice and frinedly song about friendship to reform the villians.. or rather lure them over a bridge to get eaten by her orca friend. 

So Jing after showing it to her dad heads to market it with him trying to warn her netoworks haven’t aired this kind of thing in years. But she faces the greatest threat to all of television: network executives, who keep offering advices and basically change the thing all together for stupid reasons and think cartoons should only be for kids despite it wokring in the past. Aka the hells animators STILL go through. I think Paul was projecting just a wee bit with this one. Given again IT HASN’T CHANGED since then, I can’t blame him. Seriously Harvey Beaks was canceled, among MANY ohter nick shows including rise of the tmnt just because it wasn’t an instant hit, Cartoon Network and warner keep trying to make dumbed down remakes of great shows, and Disney, among other networks, is fairly homophobic and while finally allowing some gay on the network this year had to be fought and outright refused it on ducktales for no adquate reason, caring more about monney and the bible belt than doing the right thing. So yeah as you can tell this bit got to me a bit and was hard to read because it. hasn’t. changed. 16 years and not a lot has changed other than more women are getting a chance. And granted the “kids are our only audiencce argument” isn’t as strong and several shows are powered by other demographics it’s still an issue and still the reason several good shows have gotten the boot and why the jeph loeb era of marvel animation was terrible. Because guys like him thought it should JUST be for kids and the lowest common demoninator of htem. You can be clever and be for kids dammit. 

I apologize slightly for that it’s just something that’s been on my mind as shows dwindle and with ducktales gone the standard forbearaers for children’s animation are all pretty fresh faced. It’s just a lot to take in and i’ts been on my mind a lot. 

Back to the actual story the result is a pretty purtrid cutesy special.. Jing reacts how you’d expect, destroying the tapes covertly with a herd of musk ox and destroying the tape. But they find the 70′s special and we end on that which is pretty funny. The only thing I really don’t like here is the ending. The rest of this special is really good: it’s clever , has some good satire and some really funny jokes especially that hook one. The ending just feels a bit weak.. like yes Jing wanted to be noticed but it’s not really an unsympathetic motive and while she does some shady stuff the villians still basically win by airing her terrible holiday special all over again. It’s just not satisfying.  But yeah overall another pretty decent holiday comic with some good jokes. I”ll probably see Jing again next year, and it was fun getting to dip into these comics. THeir not my faviorites, but their still pretty decent and if the complete collection ends up on sale on comixology or you see it in a bookstore and you think it’d be up your ally i’d buy it. Again not my faviorite thing ever, but still enjoyable enough. Coming up this week of holiday cheer: ducks, more ducks, superheroes, and a best of list. 

Until next time: Courage.