abunchobirds

[abunchobirds]

oh im gonna be weird about this for so long

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callout post for "work"

"work" has done many terrible things such as

make my friend go there

make my wife go there

please spread this around we can't let "work" keep getting away with this

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i’ll krill you. you won’t resprawn. shrimpleton

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using the bus tracker app is like. oh it's going to be here in three minutes. now it's five minutes. oh the bus has killed itself

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While taking a nap today I dreamt there was a hazard sign called "never found" which was used to indicate a location where people disappeared never to be seen again

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Looking to get into philosophy does anyone have any thoughts for beginners?

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his scholarly nature is quite admirable

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after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby

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this one goes out to all you sickos on tumblr at 10 am on a monday

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the first law of tragedies: the end is already written and inevitable. the second law of tragedies: your actions are all your own and you can choose to get off this ride whenever you want. the third law of tragedies: we both know that you are never going to do that.

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college should be free so that the first time you go can just not count. that's just to test the waters. you should be able to be like "well that was weird! okay now this time for real"

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wghatever the fuck this genre of tweet is i cant fucking stop saying mein scheiss Hund as a vocal stim

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I just accidentally made un-tea?????

I made green tea, but I forgot there was an old bag of chai in the kettle, so I mixed chai water with decaf green tea, then I mixed in like a half table spoon or something of that honey from the dollar store that they aren't legally allowed to call honey because there's too much corn syrup in it and some almond milk and a single drop of coffee creamer because we ran out and???? It tastes like??? Nothing????

It has LESS flavor than my tap water! HOW do you EVEN-

I think I made a flavor that's only perceptible to shrimp, that's the only explanation

[abunchobirds]