#most of the things they’re dealing with have not shown up outside of their quests and have no connection to the gods yknow

[mabaris]

yknow, the plot structure of veilguard feels very mass effect 2

[f0xgl0v3]

Octavian!

Do I know what I am going to write in this? Vaguely. More headcanons because I want to take a break from that rendering of Octavian because I want to work and make something better than putting effort into something I won’t be proud of or whatever.

Also I just want to keep talking about him but whatever,

Octavian never been outside of Camp Jupiter/New Rome is canon in my mind. There have been very few times he has been outside the little bubble, which were,

The Wolf House: where he really just stayed close to the house (obvi. Course I’d love to talk more about the exacts but since we get no information about the wolf house though it’d be a pretty good way to start SoN and then seamlessly blend us into a timeskip of the Gorgon chase but whatever- we are given no information about the wolf house either and aaaaa-) but the Wolf House Octavian mentality was survive through with his wits and try to survive enough to run out of there as soon as possible when he has the training done.

His quest: we get no information on it, but we know that he had to do a quest to become a Centurion (Can confirm this is a rule, check the Senate scene near the beginning, I believe it was Larry the legionnaire that yelled it) though we also, sadly, get no indication what this question was. But I’d like to introduce the idea that it was a duo quest with Michael and Octavian and they became Centurions together (I’ll probably re-read this and then add more on later) but I’d assume this Question also has them steeped pretty deep into the mythological side of the world and they didn’t get much down time. But what little of the mortal world Octavian saw he thought was pretty cool- though he still thinks New Rome looks better. (Because if anyone walks up to me and says the current era of architecture we’re in is better than anything that predates the freaking 1950’s is lying to me and trying to make me buy a house. We have fallen as a society when we started thinking ultra minimalist boring homes that are devoid of any depth or visual interest was the best route to go for our buildings. But that’s another rant from me for another day-)

Siege of Mt.Tam: they had to travel the smallest bit for this but again, didn’t interact with the mortal world much, they all stayed pretty self contained to the temporary camp and the mountain itself.

The cross country trip to go attack the Greeks: this is the one we’re shown in canon or whatever. But this was probably the most chaotic of the times that Octavian had been out of Camp. It was a lot to deal with, really overwhelming to be stuck with everyone with no where to move or anything. But this would be the most he would really interact with stuff like fast food chains, gas stations, all the stuff. And New York, that was a thing that happened. I believe they briefly passed through New York (we know that at some point they’re inside of New York from the Rachel scene if I remember properly) and that meant Hotels, it was similar enough to the barracks that it was fine. Though I think that the whiplash from New Rome to this made Octavian a lot more hesitant about stuff like these cities. He likes modern culture to some extent (insert another Build-a-bear joke. And if anyone asks, I believe he totally gets them delivered to calcedott tunnel instead of going out to a physical store. He has never had the experience and childlike splendor of making one that that needs to change.)

Anyway yeah. I would also like to say that Octavian is okay on a string instrument. However I would like to say that he put all his eggs into one figurative basket when he was a small child by learning one full song only. A 6 year old Octavian skipped over learning reading notes and whatever and just copying the motions until it sounded okay. He doesn’t really know how to read stuff like notes or whatever but has a pretty okay sense of Rhythm.

Don’t ask him to dance though. Octavian may look a little more elegant moving around or fighting but he is an actual newborn giraffe.

Okay that’s all I have for now. Have a rad time and I’ll get out the next couple passes of the CJ map.

[el-gilliath]

not complete without you

Yeah so I decided to venture into The Old Guard fic with a 6+k fic. This was written for a prompt by @andrea-lyn, who did not want to write it herself but knew that angst and character death is right up my alley, so here we are. A big thanks to my bellowed @winged-fool for the beta.

Though this might be character death, I still find this to be a happy ending. All you need to know is in the tags.

Also includes an immortal dog, and what might be reincarnation.

AO3

Nicky knows his time is up in the most innocent of ways, he stubs his toe against the table in one of their safehouses and it doesn’t immediately stop hurting. Instead, it hurts for hours. His suspicions are confirmed when he cuts himself in the kitchen the day after and the wound doesn’t seal the way it usually does. He hides in the kitchen, cooking for hours until it stops bleeding and he can pretend it isn’t there.

He’s careful the next few days, so very careful, not to let Joe notice that he’s no longer healing. Instead, he watches as Joe spars with Nile, watches his bruises fade into the ether. Instead, he sucks marks into his skin as they make love late at night, admiring them for the three seconds before they disappear. He holds Joe close, distracting him with the sweetest of kisses so he can have another second, minute, hour where they’ll live together for another millennia and neither of their time is up.

He breathes calmly, smiles widely, loves fiercely, the way he always has. He avoids it for three days, allows himself to picture another thousand years with Joe, with Nile, with Booker. The good times they would share and the joy they would experience together, the lives they would save that would go on to save others.

He stops avoiding the minute Joe looks at him with worry. His Joe, his Yusuf, the man he killed countless times before he recognized what was in front of him and loved him fiercely from then on. The man whose love transcends everything, the man he hasn’t needed to speak words to for centuries, couldn’t speak to in the beginning, and now they just understand what the other needs and wants.

The man whose touch still thrills him after all this time.

Nicky closes his eyes, hangs his head, and prays. Maybe there’s no God, and Andy would’ve mocked him for it were she still among them. But he still has faith. Faith gave him Joe, gave him someone so he didn’t have to spend an eternity alone, how can he not still believe.

“Nicoló?”

He can hear the fear in Joe’s voice, feels it deep in his heart as he opens his eyes and looks back at him. God, will the sight of Joe never make his heart stop beating faster, will his short curls never make him want to run his fingers through them? He hopes not, for whatever time he has left.

“Three days,” he replies. He lifts his finger towards Joe, shows him the cut that’s still healing three days later. The cut he’s worked so hard to hide. “It’s my time, Yusuf.”

He knows he should’ve anticipated the wail of grief that escapes Joe as he looks at Nicky’s finger. Knows he should’ve anticipated the complete collapse to the floor the other half of his soul does. Knows he should’ve anticipated his sleek and very quick everything to lounge for a knife from their collection of weapons and slash himself on the arm. Maybe he did anticipate all of it, just like he knows that he needs to let it happen.

He listens as the wails turn louder, watches as Joe slashes his arms again and again in the hopes that his healing won’t set in. Both of them know that it will, but Joe still tries and Nicky still lets him. Watches him try again and again with tears in his eyes and running down his face, his hands clasped tightly together with the sounds of Booker and Nile just outside, asking them what’s going on. He tries to tell them that it’s okay, that they’re good, but he can’t. His world is hurting. His world needs him more than their teammates does right now.

He moves closer when he can. He knows Joe wouldn’t hurt him, but he needs to let his grief out. Nicky’s not going to stop that, he’s had three days to grieve. It’s Joe’s turn now.

He gets close enough to touch Joe and as he stretches out his hand Joe drops the knife immediately, gathering Nicky in his arms as he buries his face in Nicky’s hair.

“Nicoló. Non voglio che mi lasci. Per favore.”

“I’m not leaving you, il mio cuore, not for a long time,” Nicky whispers, moving Joe’s face away from his hair and drying his cheeks with his thumb. “We still have time, mi amore, so much time.”

Joe shakes his head. The grief is so very visible on his face and it breaks Nicky’s heart. “But not as much as we wanted. I cannot continue without you, my heart.”

“You can do whatever you need to. But for now we have time. Anything else will wait,” Nicky replies, giving Joe a soft kiss as he buries his fingers in Joe’s hair as he always wants to. “My immortality might be gone but I’m not gone yet, my Yusuf. I’m not lost to you yet.”

“I wish you would never have to be lost to me.”

“We will deal with this too, as we have dealt with everything else in our life. I swear, I will not leave you before I have to.”

They look at each other, losing themselves in each other as they always do. Nothing will change that, hasn’t in the millennia they’ve been together and it never will. Neither will the force of their kisses, Nicky knows and experiences as he’s drawn into a forceful one. It’s as passionate as always, as loving as always. But tinged with desperation, with sorrow. With loss.

“Yusuf.” Nicky moves away, just slightly, only just enough. “I have not left you. I’m right here.”

Joe nods, the grief on his face disappearing slowly but surely. Nicky knows he’s only hiding it, but he will let him. They will deal with that another time.

“Take me to bed, il mio cuore,” he says, smiling as Joe gets a familiar gleam of heat in his eyes. “I wish to spend the night wrapped in your arms.”

“Then in my arms you shall spend it.”

The next kiss is softer, not as tinged with the despair of the future. It lights his everything on fire, stokes it in his belly the way only Joe can. The way he’s lit it for so long. He cradles Joe’s head, pulling him tighter, closer. Always closer. Joe makes him stand up, walks him backwards to their bed, laying him down slowly as they hit the edge. Their lips never separating. It’s familiar, loving, safe. But still as thrilling as all the other times Joe takes him in his arms and kisses him, still as thrilling as all the other times he undresses him slowly and makes love to him.

Spending the night in Joe’s arms is still the safest place he will ever be.

———

He wakes the next day still cradled in Joe’s arms. They’re naked, the way they prefer to be when they have a room to themselves and everything in Nicky screams to stay there. But the need to talk to Booker and Nile is bigger, though he has no doubts that Booker at least suspects what’s going on. Booker is too smart for his own good at times, as history has shown.

He extracts himself from Joe’s arms, leaning down to kiss his brow and whisper sweet nothings when he makes noises of protest in his sleep. Nicky can only smile at the put open sigh as Joe settles back down, never wanting to be parted from Nicky.

He still leaves him alone in bed, leaving their bedroom and walking downstairs to the kitchen. He knows Booker and Nile are in there before he enters, feels them in his spirit the way he’s always done. He knows they feel him too, their eyes upon him from the second he walks into the kitchen. He has not lost that, still.

“Good morning,” he says smiling. He’s happy to see them smile back. Though he knows they are suspicious, from the way Booker doesn’t completely meet his eyes, or the way Nile’s foot keeps bouncing as if she’s having trouble staying still. “Have you eaten?”

“Not yet, Nile wanted to wait for you,” Booker replies, in the open and honest way he’s been since… Then and all that happened.

“Then I will make us some bre-”

“Are you and Joe okay?”

Booker clears his throat pointedly but Nile just waves him off, obviously not concerned in the slightest by whatever plan Booker probably suggested and she said she would go along with. Nile’s quest for the truth has always been something Nicky has admired, loved, about her. It never gets boring with that around.

“We’re good, Nile. As always,” he says as he starts pulling food out of the fridge, finding a fresh loaf of bread Booker probably left to buy early in the morning, the way he always does when the four of them are near Paris. Still so very French, after all this time. Though Nicky isn’t sure he can say anything, he’s never turned less Italiano after all these years of being alive. “It was a rough night, that’s all.”

“That was not just a rough night, he was-”

“Nile.”

Nicky’s eyes find Booker’s, as he speaks up to make Nile stop her questioning. Booker’s eyes are filled with questions, so Nicky nods, just once, short and precise. He watches Booker’s eyes fill with grief, his posture sagging as he takes in the new knowledge of the world.

“What’s going on?”

Nicky smiles, a loving thing that speaks of the family that they are, Booker smiling back in the same way before they both turn to Nile. She looks worried, scared, in a way Nicky wishes she didn’t have to be. She doesn’t deserve to be, but it’s a testament of who they are and what they go through that those feelings never completely disappear. They never will.

“I’m mortal, Nile,” Nicky replies, going to her and crouching down in front of her as he takes her hand. “I stubbed my toe four days ago and it didn’t stop hurting. Then the day after I cut my finger when I was cooking and it didn’t heal.”

“Nicky!” She yells, her voice wrought with fear for him.

“Shh, it’s okay. Last night was Joe finding out. He did not take kindly to the information.”

“You’re dying!”

“No, Nile. I might be mortal but I plan on living a long life still.” He cups her face, smiling in the face of the tears pooling in her eyes. “I am not leaving anyone in this family any time soon. Besides, I could not leave you alone with only Booker, it would be a cruel fate.”

“Haha,” Booker says as he moves to take over the cooking. “You should be happy I do not speak ill of my elders.”

“Since when?” Nile asks sceptically.

“Since now. If Nicky’s mortal, it means he’s officially a priest again, and one has to follow the teachings of the Catholic Church when in the presence of a priest.”

Nicky can’t help but laugh. He hasn’t been a priest in so long and he’s not planning on becoming one again. He’s done far too many unholy things with Joe, and in his long life, for that to be the case. “I do not think the Church would accept me back, Booker, after all we’ve done.”

“That might be, but you still have faith after all this time.” Booker cracks a few eggs into the skillet. “And in your own words, everything happens for a reason. Your faith wouldn’t let you down like that.”

“I don’t think so either,” Nile says. The only one besides him to still have any sort of faith. “It’s not your time yet.”

“No,” he replies. “It is not.”

He gets to his feet, pressing a soft kiss to the crown of Nile’s head before he walks over to Booker, pulling his head down so he can press a kiss to his temple too. Booker swats him playfully, but he knows it’s just for show. Booker accepts the free affection of his family much easier now, knows he needs it to survive and fight the depression he’s always battled. It’s a sign of faith, of love and forgiveness to kiss his temple for Nicky, whenever he can get away with it. It might not be often, but he still enjoys it when he can. The simple affection and kindness come easy for Nicky and Booker deserves to be shown them.

“Why is everyone but me getting kisses from my Nicky?”

Booker snorts at the mock indignation in Joe’s voice. “He keeps giving them to me, how can I refuse.”

Joe mutters under his breath but still moves over and places his own smacking kiss on Booker’s other temple before he moves over and does the same to Nile. Nicky watches Booker’s reaction, how he freezes slightly before continuing to make (almost burn) the second round of eggs, quickly followed by bacon. Joe has shown Booker he’s completely forgiven many times, though the darkness in Booker doesn’t always believe that. Even knowing as he does that he served his penance in more ways than one and none of them hold it against him anymore. Nicky squeezes his shoulder before moving over and joining Joe and Nile at the kitchen table.

It’s an easy morning, simple and quiet, the way many of their mornings have been in the years they’ve been together, but deep down he knows something has changed. He knows his days with them are numbered, knows that he wants to eventually live out the rest of his days away from the action. And him living out his days means that Joe will leave too. Even if he tried to make Joe stay, there’s no way that he will. No way that he would be left alone without him.

“Did Copley the Fourth give us any information on our target?” Joe asks, reaching for Nicky’s hands and tangling them together as Booker brings their breakfast over to the table. Not the easiest way to eat, but Nicky will never say no when Joe wants to be close.

After James Copley there was Elaine Dawson. After Elaine there was Darren Whitaker. After Darren there’s Mustafa “Moose” King. Or Copley the Fourth as they affectionately like to call him. The Copleys are all chosen by their predecessors, happily keeping them secret and helping them stay out of the ether. Merrick taught them a lesson they never wanted to learn, but they learned it well when they had to. And their habit of trusting one person has proven valuable over the years.

Though Nicky has reservations about Nile’s relations with the current Copley. But he knows this is a tale she must discover for herself. He’s had Joe the entire time, how can he begrudge her some happiness.

“His name is Mustafa. And yes, he did. He gave us all the info we needed,” Nile replies. Joe, Booker, and Nicky all share a look, hiding their amusement from the youngest member of their team. All this time and she is still such a 1990s kid. “We still have about two weeks until we can move out, so I’ll monitor with him-”

“I’ll bet you will,” Booker murmurs under his breath, causing Nile to give him a slight smack.

“Until then there’s no harm in us staying here, right?”

“Staying right here, close to your boyfriend. Yes, no harm.” Booker laughs as Nile smacks him again, harder. “We can stay, Nile. The perimeter is secure and so is this house. I promise.”

“Okay, good. We agree then? Two weeks and then we move out.”

“Si.”

———

They spend the two weeks together, being near one another as much as they can. Nicky knows it’s because they want to savour their time with him, in case something happens on the mission they have to see through. In case he actually dies and does not come back. It’s a somber thought, and one he will not entertain for long. It is not his time yet.

He’s still restless, uncertain in ways he hasn’t been in years. Possibly never, but he doesn’t really remember anymore. The last time he felt any kind of nervous was when Andy was mortal. Though a mission was not what killed her, he does not believe that will be his end either.

———

He’s almost wrong. Feels the panic settle deep in his skull as the bullet tears through his leg. Hears Joe yell in fury, as Booker sprints, faster than Booker has ever sprinted, over to him and starts putting pressure on the wound. Sees him and Nile, even Joe, finally accept that he is indeed mortal when the wound doesn’t close.

He decides then and there that if he survives this then he will leave, unless they need a sniper. He wants to live the rest of his years with his Joe, his Yusuf. He doesn’t want to miss out on the things he never thought he would have.

“I was thinking about that time in Malta,” he whispers, hands tangled with Joe’s as Booker patches him up and Nile watches from the side. Ever vigilant, even if they are out of danger.

“Which time in Malta?”

He gives Joe a look, a slight, secretive smile on his face. The smile he knows Joe adores more than almost anything. His kiss is the only thing Joe adores more.

“Oh, that time in Malta.”

“We should go back there. And stay.”

Booker’s hands still for a second, two, before he goes back to wrapping the wound. Nile takes a deep breath, her controlled breathing loud in Nicky’s ears. Joe just looks at him, a bit of the grief he holds inside on his face. But he smiles back, loving and warm as always.

“Yes, let's go back to Malta.”

“Do you guys mind, if we leave?” He asks. He will not leave Booker and Nile alone if they do.

“Not if we can come visit,” Nile replies, her gaze sad but a smile appearing on her face. Booker nods in agreement, short and sure like Booker always is nowadays.

“Any time you like,” Joe says, looking at them both. Nicky watches him catch Booker’s eye as he says the second part of his sentence. “If we don’t see you at least once a year we will come find you, comprendre?”

“Oui. Ce sera mon honneur,” Booker says with obvious relief. “Where in Malta will you go?”

“We have a place.”

———

Nicky understands now, why people who get hurt complain about the lingering aches of time. His foot healed well, exactly the way it should but ten years from that date it still pains him on days with bad weather, when he takes the wrong step or if he sleeps slightly wrong. He’s felt every one of these ten years, from the way his body aches in ways it never has before, to the greys in his hair, to the way Joe looks at him. He’s never doubted that Joe loves him, he doubts it less now, their simple lives in their cottage a testament to that love and devotion.

Their cottage is a place of emotion and has been since Nicky acquired it in the late 1800s. It’s been ‘inherited’ down his family, all of them versions of his alias of course. But from Nicolò de Genovo to Nicky Genova it’s still his. His place to call home with Joe. Secretly at first, in the open now though Joe is still careful when he’s outside so people do not believe he hasn’t aged. A little makeup and some hair changes has always kept them safe.

Nicky doesn’t need that now, aging gracefully as he is. Some part of him has been waiting for this, but his sadness at doing this without Joe is still there. He keeps it to himself as much as he can but after so long it’s not the easiest to do. Knowing Joe feels the same makes it all better.

He knows Joe tests his healing every month. In the hopes that his has ended well. It breaks both their hearts that it hasn’t. But they do not focus on it.

Instead, they focus on the good things, how living a quiet life suits them. They focus on Joe’s endless fascination and admiration for how Nicky changed. They focus on loving one another and making the most of all their days.

They travel when they want to, rediscovering memories in good places, make better ones in bad places. It’s a simple life, but a good one. They meet up with Nile and Booker when they are able, the two of them still together and doing what they can for the world. Joe joins them at random intervals when he’s needed or wanted, Nicky as well. Though now he stays out of sight, doing his best work with his sniper rifle when it’s needed.

A simple life, a quiet one. But still filled with excitement and adrenaline, when they want. And if Nicky joins Moose in doing research often enough that Moose gets exasperated because technology is not Nicky’s strong suit, no one has to know. Though Booker laughs at him when he has the chance. So everyone knows.

His favorite days still belong to Joe. Sleeping till late, spending slow and quiet mornings in bed, soft touches and lazy kisses that turn hot and possessive in mere minutes, their skin gliding together in a symphony well practiced and lovingly done, both of them screaming for an encore the minute they finish, even if Nicky’s body doesn’t always appreciate it these days. He still loves to bury his hands in Joe’s hair, tugging the way he knows Joe adores while pressing bruising kisses into his skin as Joe takes them in hand and brings them to completion on the less than good days, or one of them coming deep inside the other on the better days.

His body might grow older, but their passion never does.

———

Twenty years down the line and he’s noticeably older, his hair longer and full of grey, his body softer and slightly less defined even if he’s still muscled and fit. His body is technically in its 50s now, even if his mind and experience have passed a millennium.

They’re still in Malta, still in their cottage, still living a peaceful life. But over the ten years they’ve been joined by a Briard dog that Nicky found on the streets one day, his tawny colored fur matted and filthy, the dog angry and scared as Nicky approached it. Thankfully he’s always been patient, he has been with Joe for a very long time and his lover does know how to push buttons, so with a bit of time and some cold cuts he managed to get the dog safely back to their place.

Booker didn’t laugh the first time he heard the dog had been named after him, but a mangy and scared Frenchman, even if the man in question had four legs, was too good to pass up. A few years later and even Booker laughs when both he and the dog react to their names at the same time. And he’s always there to doggy sit if Nicky and Joe decide to travel.

He keeps being told of the adventures of Booker and Booker when they get back from their travels, never by Booker but by the people that live close to them. He decides early on to never tell Booker that he knows, just in case the day comes when he wants to tell them himself. He hasn’t so far but Nicky has faith, always faith.

Though Booker the dog doesn’t seem to be aging, so perhaps Booker the man has finally found the companion he’s been searching for. Nicky sincerely hopes that is the case.

Joe has taken to not being around the other people in their village, after twenty years in the same place without him looking any different, even if Nicky carefully dyes silver into his hair so it seems like he’s aging. Nicky thinks the town’s people know, or at least suspect, their… Joe’s secret. But no one seems to care. Just like no one comments on how Booker and Nile have never changed, on their yearly visit (that often turns into 6 times a year). Nicky pays close attention when he’s out and about with them, especially Joe, but the people around them just smile and greet them as if nothing is out of the ordinary. He’s incredibly thankful for it, he really doesn’t want to leave their place. Especially now that Joe has taken to not going on missions at all.

Instead he stays home with Nicky, seemingly loving the way he turns older, how his flesh fills out more in a natural way of aging, how his hair is turning more and more silver, how the blue of his eyes never loses their shine or affection for the things around them. Joe never stops touching him, never stops running his hands down his body or through his hair, kissing his neck or cheek or shoulder, whichever part that is reachable at the moment. Growing old with Joe by his side is a blessing in that he never feels unwanted or unloved, never feels like his ever changing body is a source of disgust or annoyance. He’s just loved in every moment of his mortal life, as he was in every moment of his immortal one.

It’s a wonderful feeling and it never stops being wonderful, spending the days within reach of Joe and in his arms.

———

Thirty years down the line and he’s in his 60s. He’s been completely fine with his aging body, but turning sixty has been the complete opposite. Especially with Joe’s still young and gorgeous self around. He hates how things are starting to sag, he hates how he can’t keep up with Joe, or even Booker and Nile anymore, he hates how old he feels compared to them. He hates that his foot still randomly hurts.

He has moments of extreme self consciousness, where taking off any piece of clothing in front of anyone, even Joe, wrecks hell on his confidence and self-image. He’s at times afraid to touch Joe because he believes that at any moment Joe will shy away from him, give him a look of unbearable disgust that would destroy his everything. Sometimes he forgets, his mind tricking him into thinking that he’s still young and immortal and he kisses Joe without thinking about it. He’s always horrified when he remembers. But Joe always smiles and wraps his arms around him, no sign of any discomfort on his face. He’ll whisper sweet words into Nicky’s ear and crook of his neck, biting him gently and sucking bruises into his skin, lazy kisses anywhere on his skin and flicking his tongue over the lobe of his ear to rile him up. It always makes Nicky chuckle, that soft, quiet chuckle of his, which in turn makes Joe smile widely and kiss him properly, his hands running up and down Nicky’s body like he never wants to let him go. It usually leads to slow and easy love making that lasts deep into the night, Joe coaxing as much pleasure out of Nicky as he possibly can, while Nicky himself just turns into a puddle of goo who is so deeply in love with his partner that nothing else matters. It reminds him of who they used to be, though Nicky knows that they’re still those people, even if he is older.

He needs the reminder that even if he has trouble loving himself at times, aging as he is, Joe has no trouble loving him, worshipping him, being thankful for every day by his side. He needs to remember, then he won’t have trouble believing it. And perhaps he won’t feel like he has to let Joe go, to live his life away from him and Booker (who really isn’t aging) so he can live it to his full potential with Nile and Booker and not stay with a sagging old man and an undying Briard. Joe wouldn’t leave even if he tried to put it forward and he won’t ever disrespect him like that. It would only cause a fight, one that Nicky doesn’t want to have. He loves Joe too much for that.

“Nicolò, il mio cuore, are you planning on joining me in this water or are you going to stay there all day?”

Nicky looks at Joe, laughing as he splashes around in the deep cerulean water not far from their cottage.

“No, my Yusuf, I don’t want to get my hair wet,” he replies, tugging slightly on his longer, now silvery hair.

Joe snorts, a deep sound that makes Nicky smile fondly, though the smile turns to a grin as Joe walks out of the water and towards him. His body is muscular and gorgeous, tanned skin stretching beautifully over lean hands and slender legs, his shoulders wide and so gorgeously touchable, his waist narrow and tapered. He’s slightly sad he can’t see Joe’s rear, but watching his front in tight swim trunks with the beautiful thighs that he knows the exact strength of is not a bad option. He still spins his finger, laughing lightly as Joe actually turns around and flexes, showing off his ass and his delightful back that Nicky has spent many hours touching, kissing, worshipping as if it is a wonder of the world. And to him it is.

“Prego,” he says as Joe looks over his shoulder. Joe winks and wiggles his ass just because he can before he turns around again and walks over, sitting down in Nicky’s lap facing him.

“I do like your silver hair,” Joe murmurs, his hands coming up to run through Nicky’s hair. Nicky closes his eyes and just relaxes into his talented hands, soft moans dropping unwittingly from his lips as Joe gently massages his head and tangles his fingers in his hair just the way he likes it.

“Jesus Christ, Nicky, you know what those moans do to me.”

Nicky opens his eyes, watching Joe bite his lower lip as he continues his ministration. “It feels very good when you touch me, Joe, you know this.”

“You are a goddamned tease, Nicky.” Joe uses his hands and pulls him close enough to give him a deep kiss. “No wonder I married you.”

“Did you? Marry me? I do not remember this.”

Joe mock gasps, one hand leaving Nicky’s hair to land dramatically on his chest. “Why I never. And here I thought we were madly in love and had a delightful ceremony.”

“You made me speak the Rite of Marriage since Booker said I would become a priest again when my immortality ended,” Nicky says, still smiling adoringly at his beloved, moving up to stroke along his lower back.

“Yes well, we had witnesses, the words were spoken, we both said yes. We’re married.”

“Of course we are, mi amore.” Nicky pushes himself forward to put a small kiss on Joe’s cheek. “I have married you many times during our years together and I will marry you as many more as you wish of me.”

“Molto bene,” Joe whispers, kissing Nicky softly. “Can I touch you?”

The damning insecurity rears its ugly head, making Nicky freeze without meaning for a second. He shakes it off, but Joe is already looking at him with a look he always hopes he doesn’t have to see. It’s not pity, it’s not despair. It’s just a look of understanding that feels wrong, even if it isn’t.. “I’m-“

“Please do not apologize, Nicky. You never have to apologize to me.” Joe sighs, his gaze deep and imploring as he looks at Nicky. “I love you no matter what you look like or feel like. You are the love of my life, nothing changes that.”

“I know,” Nicky replies. “My insecurities about me aging and you staying the same are catching up to me. I know you love me, I know you still desire me, I know you still look at me with lust in your eyes. My mind must catch up, but I do not always find it easy.”

“As long as you know that I do. And that you know I love touching you, feeling your skin against mine.” Joe runs his hands through Nicky’s hair as he talks, moving his hands down the front of his shirt and around to his ass. “I desire your presence every hour of every day and that will never stop. You are my heart, Nicky, and I love you more than life itself.”

“Did I not call you an incurable romantic, once?” Nicky asks softly. He probably has what Nile affectionately calls heart-eyes, but he does not mind one bit.

“Mm, in an armored van on our way to be tortured. What a life we’ve lived together.”

“We still have many years, Joe.” Nicky smiles, a hint of the smug smile he also knows Joe loves. “But for now, do with me as you please.”

“Any time you wish,” Joe replies, locking their lips together. And Nicky loses himself to the man he loves, gladly, willingly. Lovingly.

———

He’s closer to eighty, now. Forty years and change since he lost his immortality. He’s become much more frail in the last ten years, his back aching and his leg never really feels good any more. He’s in slight pain more often than not, even if he’s still in somewhat good shape. He still does light training with Joe when he feels up to it, still swims whenever he can so he can still feel somewhat fit next to Joe.

But he knows it won’t matter for much longer. He can feel it in his bones, in his faith, that he’s running out of time. His mortality has been good, what he remembers of the first thirty-three years and what he knows now of his last forty-five. And all those years in between, all of them with Joe. With Andy, Quynh, Booker, Nile, and Booker the Briard, who’s still running around, currently with the two-legged Booker and Nile who never leaves their side for long.

He’s lived a good life, and a very happy one with a lot of good days. But it’s now that he’s coming up on his last days that the sadness of leaving Joe appears again. It’s always been there, at the back of his mind. Lurking like a bad dream he will never be rid of, the day he goes off to pastures unknown without Joe.

Joe still loves him like he was thirty-three, like he was forty, fifty, sixty. They still sleep the same way they always have, Joe wrapped around him, they still have lazy mornings in bed and long make out sessions that leave them both breathless and panting. Nicky laments the fact that his libido has slowly disappeared more and more over the years, but he still gets an amazing thrill at seeing Joe in the midst of ecstasy, he still adores helping him through it, be it by hand or mouth or their greater collection of toys. He still wants and needs to give Joe everything he can, just like Joe does for him.

They’re having one of those lazy mornings in bed, Nicky tenderly wrapped in Joe’s arms when he notices it. At first he thinks his mind is playing a trick on him, a cruel joke on the last of his days. He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and reopens them. It’s still there. His heart starts beating a bit faster, his breath taking a quicker pace.

“Joe. You have a bruise on your throat.”

For a moment, a second, two, there’s quiet. Their breaths can’t be heard as they’re holding them, the sound outside the window disappears, the creaking of their cottage stills.

“Are you sure?”

He hears the trepidation in Joe’s voice, and he nods instead of answering. His finger lifts to press slightly on it, he hears Joe do a sharp inhale as he feels it. And once again his everything lunges for a knife, but instead of the slashes he did all those years ago, he does a small cut to his finger. Much like the small cut Nicky did when he first discovered his mortality.

They both watch as the blood wells. And how it doesn’t stop welling as it’s wiped away.

“We’re mortal, together.”

Joe cries, after that. Nicky holds him tightly in his arms, as silent rivulets of tears run down Joe’s cheek. The last of Nicky’s days, and they’re finally here together. The way they’ve always been since they found one another all those years ago, after a few rough starts and a mountain of bad blood to wash away between them.

Nicky can’t help but thank his Dio, the God he might not always believe in anymore but still has faith in that he doesn’t have to live in the afterlife without Joe for long. He doesn’t doubt that Joe is sending his prayers to Allah for the same thing.

They stay in bed that day, the last of Nicky’s days. He knows it now, knows that this is what he was waiting for. Waiting for his faith to give him his happy ending, with the other half of his soul. He falls asleep in Joe’s arms like he has so many times before.

He knows no more from then on.

———

A few days later Booker, Booker the Briard, and Nile enter their cottage. Booker the Briard starts whining the second he gets through the door, running to the bedroom and opening the door with his paws the way he’s done a thousand times before. He stops in front of the bed, a soft woof leaving him as he looks at the two men on the bed.

Nile follows, Booker behind her. They stop inside the door, knowing instantly that both men are dead.

“Of course they went together,” Booker says, grief welling inside of him but still he smiles as he sees their two beloved friends, their family, wrapped together on their bed. In their home for so many years.

“Do you think...”

“No, Nile, they would not take their life like that. Nicky has always had faith that when it was his time to go Joe would follow. And Joe believed the same.” He smiles at her, taking her hand. “Nicky might’ve lost his immortality first, but Joe was never going to leave him alone. There wouldn’t be the one without the other. They were soulmates, from beginning to end. That’s all.”

“We need to bury them,” Nile says, after a few minutes. She’s holding Booker’s hand tightly, tears flowing freely. Grief unites them, but they both cannot help but be happy that Joe and Nicky are still together, wherever they are. “We’ll give them to their final resting place, together.”

“Together.”

———

Years later Booker and Nile dream. Dream of two men, waking up together in immortality. Their hands holding the other, flashes of blue eyes and curly dark hair.

They wake up and smile, Booker the Briard barking around them as if excited about something. Maybe reincarnation isn’t a thing, maybe it never will be. But they still choose to believe.

They find them in a cottage in Malta.

[iturbide]

the fact that edelgard is the villain in 3/4 routes and yet intsys STILL glorifies her to no end enrages and annoys me. no other villain has been given that perspective of “well actually maybe they arent so bad” except for the hypocritical tyrant. even when she has *literally become an inhuman monster* intsys is still like “oh no dont worry she was right actually!” and it upsets me deeply

It upsets me, too, friend.  IntSys seems to really like glorifying people who don’t deserve it, especially in recent games (Walhart in Awakening, Rudolf in Echoes -- I can’t say if his whole ‘orchestrating a plan to have his son murder him’ thing is carry-over from Gaiden or not, but it definitely exists in the recent remake so I’m including it), but Edelgard actually ends up as a bit of a weird case. 

(I have a lot of thoughts about this, so I’m just going to cut preemptively.)

Now, I’m actually not opposed to Edelgard being the protagonist of the fourth route in Three Houses.  Anyone who’s been here a while knows that I generally see Grima, a figure that IntSys generally tries to paint as a rote villain, as at least a sympathetic villain (and possibly even a secret hero in the events of Awakening itself); it’s entirely possible for someone that’s a villain in most of their appearances to have legitimate reasons for what they’re doing and why, and revealing that in their personal route could be incredibly powerful if done well. 

And here’s the thing: Edelgard really is a compelling character, in large part because of her moral ambiguity.  I actually agree with her when she says that the Church of Seiros is corrupt at its core and the system needs to change.  She’s right about that!  While Seiros might have had decent reasons for establishing things this way, over the past thousand years human societies have changed while the church itself remained stagnant -- something potentially exacerbated by her selfish ambition to restore her mother -- and this has led to a structure that once served an important purpose becoming a toxic and destructive mess for humanity at large.  Edelgard has a completely valid point there, and it’s something that I could absolutely get on board with if she had gone about achieving change in some other way, because she does have other methods available to her that she writes off without real reason -- and even that can relate back in part to her deep trauma and difficulty trusting people after the betrayals she faced at the hands of her “uncle” and her own father’s powerlessness to stop the nightmare she and her siblings suffered through. 

IntSys probably could have crafted a narrative that showed from her perspective why she believed war against the Church was the only valid option available to her.  The issue is that she undercuts her own argument by targeting all of Fodlan, rather than specifically going after the Church: she doesn’t give the Kingdom and Alliance a “stay out of my way or else” warning, she literally turns her sights on the Kingdom as soon as the monastery falls and attempts to fully annex it once Cornelia sets up Dimitri’s fall, leaving the Alliance only because she has her hands full with Faerghus.  She didn’t have to take Cornelia up on her offer of making the Kingdom into the Dukedom of Faerghus and sending troops to finish the job: she could have just left the woman to her own devices, forcing the Twisted to utilize their own people to maintain and secure full control of the region while she worked on addressing the systemic issues, which would have had multiple benefits:

The Imperial Army doesn’t get overwhelmed and exhausted fighting in conditions they’re not equipped to deal with, leaving them stronger overall while the Twisted forces are potentially weakened by the same

Hubert is able to better assess the threat they’re dealing with, including learning their capabilities and possibly even where they’re coming from before Merceus

Edelgard actually puts her money where her mouth is and ends up helping the people she claims to be doing this for, rather than just using them as fodder for the war to grind up

Unfortunately, the way she’s written ends up just making her an imperialist.  She’s not just going after the corrupt core of the Church, she’s trying to forcibly unite the continent and return Fodlan to some long gone ideal where it was all united under the Imperial banner because she refuses to believe that Adrestia could have split by natural causes.

Crimson Flower ultimately ends up being a particularly egregious example of this glorification phenomenon in action because they give her a personal route that makes no effort to critically examine her actions and make her face consequences for them.  This, I think, does her a massive disservice as a character, because that aforementioned moral ambiguity that makes her so interesting could have been utilized to great effect -- and the proof is actually there already, because they do it in Dimitri’s route.

Dimitri is himself another interesting character, and outwardly presents as Edelgard’s polar opposite: he recognizes that he doesn’t have all the answers, struggles to figure out the correct course of action when presented with difficult subjects that have  no clear-cut answer -- like the fact that reliance on the Crest system is toxic for noble families, but it’s those very Crest-bearers and their Relics that help keep Faerghus safe from invasion by Sreng -- possesses incredible strength but specifically refrains using it in most cases to avoid harming others, and generally takes everyone’s problems onto himself to his own detriment.  He’s also deeply traumatized and was never given a chance to deal with it in a healthy manner, which contributes to how he snaps -- and Azure Moon starts with Dimitri being so far out of reach that you can’t unlock any of his supports and can’t even engage with him in the weekly discussions.  He’s lost himself to his survivor’s guilt and need for vengeance, considers himself to be nothing more than a monster, and has no qualms about killing if it helps advance his quest; as the story progresses, he faces a direct consequence for this murderous inclination in the form of Fleche who attempts to exact vengeance for her brother’s sake in the same way that he’s attempting to claim it for his family and friends -- only to lose Rodrigue, and have his dying words be a plea for Dimitri to live for himself rather than those who died before him, at which point Dimitri sets his sights on opposing Edelgard rather than killing her and seeing to atone for the crimes he committed.  While I think the game made the change a little too abrupt, it’s handled well overall, and shows a real development arc complete with both actions and their associated consequences that directly relate to Dimitri’s growth as a person.

Contrast this to Edelgard in general and Crimson Flower as a route.  Edelgard believes that she has all the answers despite not trying to engage with anyone outside her own House, decisively chooses what she believes to be the right and proper course of action regardless of how difficult the subject matter, possesses great strength (both physically and of sheer will) that she uses to dominate others, and forces others to join her in addressing what she sees as problems -- such as her line about making her own people into “worthy sacrifices” for her “higher cause.”  Crimson Flower is the only route where her attack on the monastery fails to capture Rhea, but once Byleth returns she sets her sights on attacking and subjugating a territory that has remained entirely neutral through the past five years, turns on the Twisted while she’s still in a vulnerable position which ultimately causes the deaths of at least a third of the forces she left at Arianrhod once they fire their warning shot, lies to her friends and allies about what happened there, murders her step-brother, and allows a city full of trapped civilians to burn unchecked while she deals with what she considers to be the “real” threat on the opposite side of the Faerghus capital -- and all of this is capped off with her never dealing with the Twisted, and cute little endcards that talk about how everything worked out fine and there were no problems ever, The End.  Edelgard doesn’t get a development arc in her route: she’s never challenged, she never faces real consequences (and the one she does face she literally lies about to her friends and then leaves as a problem to deal with later), and she pretty much ends the game exactly where she started it: completely assured that she made the right choices.  The moral ambiguity inherent in her character is instead cast as “of course she’s in the right, she’s so great and there’s nothing at all wrong with what she’s doing or how she’s going about it, isn’t she wonderful?”

At least in the main game, Hegemon Husk Edelgard is treated with real gravity, shown as the pinnacle of her drive to see her ambition come to fruition and the tragic consequence of her inability to change course and find another path.  The Forging Bonds event just takes the CF brush and paints her actions as the right ones, even though what made her so compelling is that her reasons were right while her methods were horrific.  Edelgard really could have been wonderful.  The potential is right there in her character.  But IntSys completely botched the execution of it, so that her route feels rushed, incomplete, and at best unsatisfying (or, if you’re me, utterly disgusting for how it glorifies imperialistic conquest), and her Heroes appearances only make it worse.

[razorblade180]

Overall thoughts on V8? Assuming you didn't answer this already.

I meant to do a volume wrap up review but I got incredibly busy and it fell to the waste side. The thing about me judging RWBY I have to come at it from two angles or I won’t feel like I judged it appropriately. There’s the casual, first time seeing the episodes and seeing this through the lens as a casual watcher who probably only sees the episodes once or twice. But then there’s the other side to that coin. I review these episodes, write aus, theorize, check extended lore, listen to the music, etc; that means I have to go back and watch episodes several times for any given reason and that’s when you start noticing the holes or picking up on things you didn’t before.

As a casual watcher, I’d give this an 8/10. There’s plenty of moments where characters do things that got me excited and plot points I wanted explored. This volume actually gave a decent amount of things I wanted for quite some time and some things I didn’t know I needed. Certainly there are things I don’t like in this but I’m open and curious to see where RT takes their storie because it’s their story.

Okay, now as a someone who’s had to deep dive and take a step back multiple times for a variety of reasons. 6.5/10 maybe a 7/10 if I’m being generous. A lot of my problems with this volume are problems that aren’t new to RWBY and that’s just how surface layer portions of arcs are and how a variety of choices/bonds don’t exactly make sense with what we were previously shown, or they only make sense because the writers don’t want introduce other complexities even though they should be there realistically. I’ll give a couple examples of these and yes, I’m aware what I say doesn’t bother everyone but it bothers me.

Qrow was never angry at or brought up Robyn being the reason their airship crashed in the first place because she started the fight; which aids in Clover dying.

Emerald follows Cinder, not Salem. Even if Cinder is working under Salem, why would Emerald be so willingly to complete shift to the side that actively goes against Cinder? There’s been no grand revelation to make Emerald believe Cinder doesn’t give a damn about her. Leaving made sense because she was about to get tortured. Going full turncoat right now doesn’t. No change happened. Emerald always hated being near Salem but adored Cinder no matter the crimes and the show hasn’t done anything to switch that view point.

I’m happy Whitley and Weiss had a touching sibling moment that implies they’re okay and making/made up, but there was never a conversation about the actual problem and thoughts that had them at odds in the first place. Weiss saving his and Willow’s life shouldn’t be the thing that smooths things over. It would’ve been terrible if Weiss do something to save their life. Whitley helping Penny is okay I guess because he really had no reason to contribute but did anyways. Even so, a person doing a morally correct thing doesn’t automatically warrant the conflict between him and Weiss’s resolved.

We got Cinder’s backstory; it didn’t tell us anything about how she eventually came into contact with Salem. Honestly her back story felt more in line of her main goal through the series was an absolute freedom by the means of breaking down the systems that trapped and didn’t give a damn, rather than her quest for power. Yes you can argue gaining power means it’s easier to maintain her freedom to do whatever she wants but I personally think that’s a little off the mark when you gave her a story that involves her trapped by rules and time rather than being too physically weak to gain freedom.

This show has built up that the Schnee family has suffered various types of abuse because of Jacques and uses Weiss as a medium to build towards breaking free from that. Not just overcoming but confronting the abuse by cementing it’s place below you. We don’t really get that. There will never be a moment where the siblings and mother truly get to break out of Jacques grasps emotionally and then put him in his place because he’s dead! Yeah they never have to worry about him again but even last volume they showed Winter still having turmoil and being able to get strung along by him. We don’t even really know how Whitley perceived his father. It feels so lackluster. Then they care to mention how it’s Weiss’s idea to save him like it’s an empowering moment when in actuality, it would be against her character, values of a huntress, and morality to let a person die in cell when you’re the reason they’re in a cell! Letting him die in there would just terrible. I don’t even know why he wasn’t let out in that scene! He’s a coward! He’d follow their orders to save his skin. All he has to do is shut up and walk through a portal.

Ironwood and Oscar both knew they could remove that staff to use it and Atlas wouldn’t drop immediately. Why did nobody have any kind of compromise with one another since there’s nothing stopping them from using the staff for something and then putting it back? They had this morally gray thing going on which I liked but then they decided to make Ironwood go full evil. I’ve never had to say this before but the song he got in V7 and the character they made him be in V8 just don’t connect. I got upset listening to that song recently because I liked that Ironwood.

Clover’s importance. RT tried making a character who had no more than 9 minutes in the series and one meaningful line of dialogue into the cornerstone of a side plot. Clover is such a nothing character. Vine did more than Clover. They try to make him have such a profound impact to the people around him but we never see him bond with his team; Harriet specifically. We get one scene of Clover telling Qrow the kids are fortunate to have Qrow even if he doesn’t think so. First, I doubt Clover knows Qrow decided to get drunk in a ghost town and the kids nearly died and cellar while he did it so that compliment doesn’t hold much weight for me. Second, We see nothing meaningful between the two. V7 has a time skip and just expects viewers to be on board with Clover being this influential change on Qrow without showing anything outside of a witty remark and Clover flexing his semblance. I would’ve bought it more of Qrow almost relapsed and Clover stopped him then had a real meaningful conversation.

Ruby goes against Ironwood only to then want to do a plan that’s aligned to longer term thinking than even his, talks about how everyone should be working together, but then adds a part in her video to actively antagonize and vilify Ironwood. Afterwards, she wonders where everything went wrong and doesn’t think of a plan or do anything to immediately help either kingdom until the final hour between the ultimatum being made, to everything getting destroyed. The inciting incident was disagreeing Mantle should be left in favor of Atlas but the main character didn’t do anything to help Mantle 90% of the season and hindered Atlas’s safety up until the final plan.

Yang is used to be the devil’s advocate in a bunch of situations, but she’s wrong most of the time or her lines just don’t make any sense. They weren’t doing just fine before Atlas. They almost died every step of the way. The team didn’t beat a Leviathan; silver eyes and a robot take credit for that. Why would Blake think less of Yang for wanting to go save people immediately? Blake was never mad at anyone to begin with. Yang consistently calls out people for following orders as if it’s objectively wrong, but is never called out on the fact she hasn’t followed anybody’s orders but her own and added discourse to every situation. I get RT is making her ask questions because that’s what Raven told her to do, but all she’s really doing is picking fights and disobeying every order. Yang states to Ruby they accomplished more than they expected. That’s false, getting Oscar back is correcting a mistake caused by her own plan that she didn’t even complete.

It took 6 volumes before Yang had anything to do with the Summer Rose subplot again and 7 volumes before her and Ruby had a sister to sister conversations; 5 if you wanna count Yang telling Ruby to leave at the end of volume three. The reason I bring this up is because in V8 , they treat their argument as if it’s a big deal but then have every character say it wasn’t that big a deal; but then have two circle back to that conversation later after having neither character discuss to anybody that the argument actually did weigh on them. Yang doesn’t think about Ruby until she sees her again and the closest we get with Ruby is Blake reassuring her that people need her and how Blake admires her. I like that scene but it’s not the same as Ruby actually airing out the specific point that Yang said something that Ruby found hurtful. Vol8 in general people trying to comfort others but nobody ever actually addresses what made them uncomfortable to start with. Except Ren.

This one is a nitpicking but I’ll say it anyways. Penny getting hacked only served as a purpose to go to the vault, a thing Ironwood already wanted them to do. Nobody got her because she was hacked. You can’t even say her getting hacked is the leading factor to her actually dying because Penny became a vulnerable human afterwards that can’t be rebuilt. Pietro was gone, and already stated last volume he doesn’t have the aura to build Penny again. If she died as a robot then it’s still permanent death. No core, no Pietro, and no aura; hacking her was just to create a Hound reveal situation and make them go to the vault on a different set of terms. I’m not exactly upset with this, but I don’t understand why the extra steps. The Hound was hunting her anyways. I would’ve brought some kind of value if she hurt a friend and it caused them to potentially hinder the plan later on or remove them entirely. Penny could’ve rekt Yang and it only adds value to Yang getting one shot later. I don’t know. I’m rambling.

I think I’ve wasted enough people’s time. Honestly, I do like this volume. I’ve enjoyed a bunch of it. But there’s things that legitimately make me think it’s not as good others and makes V7 even worse.

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - Goodbye and Goodwill

This one of those filler episodes that, at first glance, seems to have a purpose, but then goes on to undermine itself and the greater story at every turn. 

Summary: In hopes of further uplifting the spirits of the citizens, Rapunzel decides to bring the Goodwill festival to Vardaros, but the citizens are not enthusiastic about the upcoming festivities until Cassandra presents daring and dangerous activities. Rapunzel and Cassandra attempt to work together, but they quickly begin to argue and disagree, resulting in them breaking off their partnership and planning their own separate events. However, Rapunzel notices everyone is more interested in Cassandra's ideas and attempts a reconciliation, but the competitiveness between them further escalates and Rapunzel prepares the final event, featuring both dangers and thrills. Eugene tries to help Rapunzel and Cassandra mend their friendship and handcuffs them together. Meanwhile, Lance and Hook Foot are in charge of finding a gopher for the final event, but bring back a dangerous Sneezeweasel instead

So Why Are We Still Here? 

No really, why are we still here? There’s no reason for this. Last episode we stuck around because there was a problem to solve, but here Rapunzel is just doing whatever crap she feels like doing instead of focusing on the problem. Which is a flaw in of itself because it undermines tension.

There’s nothing to push the action forward. There’s no threat nor danger to avoid or stop. The rocks are no longer a problem, there’s no villain left to challenge the heroes, and they aren’t on any timer. So why should we, the audience, care about this quest? 

Season two winds up being the most boring season because it’s 80% filler. You could cut out over half the episodes and you’d miss nothing of value. 

If the show writers wanted to do cutesy slice of life stuff that only focuses on the interpersonal relationships of the mains, then it shouldn’t have added an overarching plot with actual stakes. It also should have had a core well defined cast that interacted with each other instead of just focusing on a duo or trio all the time.  

The Very Existence of Vardaros Undermines Cass’s Arc

So Cass’s whole deal is that she wants to be a guard and, more importantly, wants praise and validation. Yet for some undetermined reason she can’t get that in Corona. Ignoring the fact that she very much does get that in Corona, (see season 1), you’re telling me that there was a whole city just waiting for a sheriff this whole time, one where Cass fits in perfectly and gets praise for being a tough guy, and is only a week away from Corona and her family, and yet I’m suppose to feel sorry for her for not getting off her butt and trying her hand elsewhere? 

She’s 23 years old. She’s more than capable of taking care of herself and, as shown during season three, she’s able to leave any time she wants. Yet the show tries to throw a pity party for a grown woman who only screws herself over by not actually trying. Yeah, no. If she had little to no opportunities or if there was something actually standing in her way, then fine, but that’s not what we get. 

When millennials like myself complain about not getting the jobs we trained for, it's because we live in a neoliberal dystopia that not only denies us opportunities and fails to pay us a living wage, but also places us in crippling debt just to get a chance to work these underpaid jobs. It’s not just us whining that we didn’t handed get what we want, it’s about survival. 

I’m not going to feel sorry for someone who doesn’t get her arse kissed as much as she wants when there are people who can’t even pay rent right now. In universe we still have a whole town that’s been displaced from their homes, children in jail, poor people being persecuted, and a city whose river has dried up and is trying to recover from an economic fall out. What Cass wants should not matter in light of these more urgent problems. 

I Understand What This Episode Is Trying to Do, But it Fails Because of Overexposure

So this is just a role reversal of Challenge of the Brave. It’s here to show the audience that Rapunzel isn’t perfect and that she can be just as petty and jealous as Cass herself. Unfortunately it undermines itself with three things. 

First, is because we’ve had this same argument before. Not just in Challenge of the Brave, but in practically every plot that focuses on theses two characters. We’ve spent more time showing why they shouldn’t friends rather than building them up to be good friends. I still have no idea why these two hang out together. Ergo, I’ve little reason to care if they’re fighting yet again for the millionth time regardless of who is or isn’t in the wrong here. 

Second, even when Rapunzel is wrong for once Cass still has to exacerbate the problem. Rapunzel came to Cass in this scene to apologize, only for Cass to pick a fight with her instead. Cassandra demands respect from everybody but can’t give even the most basic amount to anyone else, not even her best friend. So yes, Rapunzel is being a jealous jerk here, but I can’t root for Cassandra either. The point behind showing both sides are wrong conflicts is to make both sides relatable, not make the audience hate both of the characters. Why should I endear myself to two jackoffs who can’t show a modicum of basic human decency? 

Last, Rapunzel is only ever shown to be wrong when dealing with Cass. Raps is never called out in her mistrement of Caine, Varian, Eugene, Treavor, Dewyne, her own parents, ect. Yes, most of this is a season three problem specifically, but it shows the creators’ bias loud and clear. Their precious OC is the only character that they actually care about. She gets special treatment over everyone else, even the main character of the show. That’s bad fanfiction levels of writing that I don’t expect to see in a name brand show, but here we are. 

Even When Rapunzel is in the Wrong She is Still Validated 

Okay, so this is a call back to when Rapunzel threw Cass and Eugene into a jail cell during Cassandra vs Eugene. That was a very bad thing for her to do, but here is Eugene taking inspiration from that instead of actually acknowledging that what Rapunzel does is wrong. Also to further the bias on the show, the girls get onto Eugene several times for this, but of course Rapunzel never saw such push back when she did it. And to put the cherry on top of a shit sundae, this plan once again works. 

If you can’t figure out away for you’re characters to resolve their issues outside of locking them together in a room or forcibly shackling them together, then you don't have a good conflict and you’re characters don't have a good relationship dynamic. And this isn’t the first nor last time will have to deal with this crap. 

Nothing is Learned

We’ve already heard this same apology before and we’ll see it done numerous times over. Rapunzel is still going to keep on being a control freak and Cass is going to keep on putting her own ‘glory’ over others well being. And they’re both going to keep on fighting over petty validation all the way up until the last episode of the whole series. 

If you can resolve your conflict in a three minute conversation but keep dragging it out anyways while adding unnecessary and forced stakes to keep up the tension, then you just don’t have a good plot. The writers needed to go back to square one and rethink the entire bases of their story pitch, cause as is, there’s just not enough here to carry a three season long story arc. Not one that keeps the mains likable anyways.   

No, You Won’t 

We spent three whole episodes building up this town and introducing new characters and not a single one of them comes back into play. That’s poor time management and it’s once again a lack of set up and resolve. 

Conclusion 

The whole Vardaros arc is a waste of time. Outside of Adria’s introduction, which is divorced from the town anyways, I’d tell people to skip it entirely. There’s no point to any of it.  

[for-peace-war]

No, really. Lovecraft Country sucks.

These are spoilers, but I also don’t give a shit because it’s a bad show and I hope you skim enough to fucking skip it.  I took a few days to decide if I hated it enough to write this and well, I do. 

I will try my best not to say “X is a bad actor,” but instead stick with the characters as they’re intended save for one particular issue.

The Story

It isn’t very Lovecraftian.  And don’t take this as me saying Lovecraft was some kind of master of his craft.  I think he was an absurd racist that used xenophobia as his guise for what truly horrified the sane mind. That being said, the element of the unknown is definitely the hallmark of his world and that in no way is represented in this show.  It could easily be called “Goosebumps: The Black Version” and it’d be just as authentic--if not more so, really.

The story deals with the Bible (?) and magic that comes from uh, knowing the names of things.  You speak a made up language and then you do some kind of confusing magic that has no real purpose or point.  I sound dismissive of this because I am, to be clear.  They could have just as easily had this language be something whites stole from Africans and then perverted into their own means of power (it’d be a pretty easy parralel to any number of imperialist issues left behind in Africa, huh.)

But anyway, it has a tentacle monster. I think we see a big scary octopus at one point.  But the monsters are often in your face and it’s probably less scary than Stranger Things S1.

Honestly, the characters repeat “autumnal equinox” so much that I felt I was going to have a fucking breakdown.  Just the writing is very empty and no one seems to really care about anyone else on the screen except for in a rare moment between the only two characters that make it far and matter. 

Characters

They aren’t very good.  There are tropes present, which isn’t bad at all, but the way the characters interact, speak, and in general move us through the story feels stilted, often nonsensical, and entirely reliant on the viewer assuming that the latest sentence spoken is the only one that matters.

Atticus “Tic” Freeman

A war criminal that derives his power from the white blood inside of him. Again, dismissive but true.  We see this man struggle to connect pieces to a puzzle and eventually he pays the price for it, but not in the way Lovecraft would have someone pay for endeavoring beyond their realm.  Rather, something about fate and a book. Look, honestly? Who gives a shit.  Tic murders a woman in coldblood and it’s never really touched on.  There’s a lot that could be said about militaries, oppression, etc, but we often see these characters enact violence and then the story skips merrily beyond it.  So yeah, he summarily executes a Korean woman and then is later shown torturing another, but it’s okay because he feels a little bad and fucks the Korean sex demon woman.  More on that later.   I felt nothing for him.  He didn’t have some deep animus over being a torturing war criminal.  He was just kind of moving through scenes and having confusing fights with his girlfriend/baby mama.

Letitia “Leti” Lewis

This is what empowerment shouldn’t look like. It amuses me that the show claimed to subvert some kind of norms when the primary love interest (and ultimate heroine) remains the lightest skinned sister in the room.  She is able to maintain the appeal of the ingenue while at the same time having the understood attractiveness of her complexion. As far as Leti is concerned as a character, she too seems to be a pretty shitty person.  We hear that she has “transactional” friendships and she seems pretty much all about self-survival and rarely if ever puts up where others do.  She’s a heroine in the sense that the story makes her be heroic, but it never addresses how her flaws are ultimately all self-inflicted and unnecessary.  She could just not be a shitty person.

Hippolyta Freeman

Well. Hidden Figures was an excellent film, and I think that’s where Hippolyta came from.  In a more serious series, perhaps she and her daughter could have had a very touching arc that would deal with survival and exceptionalism in a world that maligns you for your very being.  Unfortunately, in reality she just comes off as a character that’s quirky in a world that’s also quirky and she doesn’t get to harness her power. There’s an entire episode dedicated to how she discovers who she is and the result is well, her hair turns blue and she makes robots?  I think the character TYPE is great, but they misused her here in all ways.

George Freeman

Well, well.  If the series had remained about George, Tic, and Leti adventuring through America and encountering sundown towns and monsters both human and otherwise, I think it’d have been okay.  The issue is, they wrote this series by the numbers so George is immediately thrown away.  He’s a wise and circumspect guy that has his own flaws (he has patrarchical notions built around protecting/babying his genius wife, clearly), but the flaws he has are understandable and well reasoned. George dies early on.  Then he sort of doesn’t, I guess? But the fact he did was really the nail in the coffin for this series.  The moment they did that, the rest just became empty strokes.  A story where George witnessed the others dying and going back to his wife and daughter would have had so much more heart to it, but well.  Uncle George is literally one of the few bright spots.

Ruby Baptise

Much like her sister, Leti, Ruby is a terrible attempt at showing empowerent on the one hand, and a masterwork on the other.  The bad first: she’s a rapist.  I’ve been called a nigger before and while it didn’t feel great, I don’t think I’d have been justified in just sodomizing the person that did it.  That entire sequence was weird and they tried to hype it as her reclaiming something, when really it spoke to a disgusting and gratuitous tendency toward Ruby: she’s always too much. Ruby, IMO, should have been Tic’s love interest.  In a sense.  First, because Wunmi Mosaku was a very attractive woman with impressive acting chops (she’s where I’ll break my moratirum, sorry), but also because it wouldn’t be what you’d see in every other show now: light-skinned pretty sister, dark-skinned sexual eikon.  And that’s the issue with Ruby there: she’s always too much.  She’s sexual by existing and that isn’t necessarily to her benefit since Leti, the good one, is an actual virgin before her sudden period sex. So the narrative has already spoken as to how it views sex. Yet, because they tried to give Ruby these strange strokes, she comes out as an interesting character.  She has feelings, aspirations, and dreams that she’s kept from and that’s very real. In a story about the absurd, a sense of realness is a familiar handhold to gather your wits.  She’s all that, really.  It’s why she has the best relationships in the show, which is AGAIN an issue, but well. I’ll say Ruby was never bad to have on screen though I was disgusted with how often her blackess (and Blackness in general!) became the source of grotesque horror.

Christina Braithewaite

This is where I get annoyed.  My issue with Christina is that she should have easily been the most hated character, but they overplayed their hand with not showing how nefarious she was.  In fact? Christina and Ruby’s relationship is the only meaningful, real, and understandable one in the entire series.  I felt no joy during her downfall, because I didn’t really get to see her doing anything bad? Just, consider what the show is.  It’s about Lovecraft’s lore, ostensibly, which treats all non (specific types of) white men like dogs.  So Christina comes at it from the “white” but “woman” perspective and you know, she has moments of duality that you can say is she more white or woman here.  But they don’t execute on how sinister she should be.  She’s a little rude at times? Yet she is the only person to treat Ruby like she should be treated and she’s the only person that seems to have a goal outside of “the quest.” It really bothered me that she came out so well done, because either they needed to have her for two seasons and make her far more nefarious after the first, or to just make her less a force for good.  She saves the characters more than a few times and pays for it by being killed when she’s at her lowest.  Yeah, it’s... a weird take.  

Ji-Ah

What can I say?  There are depictions of sex in the series, and they’re all negative: most of Ji-Ah’s scenes, Montrose’s angry self-loathing sex with his boyfriend, Ruby’s morphic horror scenes.  In the case of most of those, there’s something being said.  Ji-Ah is a monster, literally, that could be seen as Lovecraftian in the sense she’s an exotic Asian woman that kills men that sleep with her.  So, HBO was like “we’ll blow our tits and ass budget on her,” and she exists for a series of sex scenes and vague, inscrutable... shit, maybe SHE is the most Lovecraft of all the characters! Anyway at some point she joins the party after confusing drama with Leti because they both fucked Tic.  It’s okay though, because Ji-Ah isn’t here for any of that now.  She’s the one who had the best friend that had her teeth yanked out by Tic, and also who was there when he shot her other friend in cold blood, but they get over that and she’s now their friendly red panda pal or some shit.  It’s fucking trash.   Much like the Freemans (sans Tic), I think she’d have done great in another show. But they rushed her story and it felt less Ghost Nation (Westworld) and more Masturbation (Jordan Peele).

Diana Freeman

Confusing.  A stock character (quirky kid that does art, is impetuous, and won’t take no for an answer) that is given a lot of screen time.  When she sort of hijacks an episode when two ragamuffin girls chase her down and infest her or something because racist cops.  Well, the story veers to her direction.  What can I say?  If you like 11 from Stranger Things but wanted her to have Mike’s attitude, well.  Here you go.

Montrose Freeman

He could have been a good character, I guess. He seemed unnecessary and often was there purely for an x-factor of “uh?”  Like, his infamous scene where he slits a two-spirit Native American’s throat after we learn that this indigenous person had just been restored after being raped by bad guys.  So there’s that.  Also I guess he was self-loathing so he beat his son (that may not be his son???) and also liked fucking dudes, which was I think where we were supposed to care about him. It’s like someone saw Omar was a gun-wielding desperado of drug theft and decided, “Well what made him okay is he’s gay!”  But it didn’t add much.  I get he was angsty but other than Tic calling him a “faggot” (one of the few good scenes between them in terms of emotion), it all seemed empty and kind of meandering. At no point does Montrose seem a part of the team.  He just half-mumbles, gets angry, cries, and falls apart.

Captain Seamus Lancaster

He’s barely a character, but I need to include him for another point. He’s the “bad guy.”  I guess?  He uses the bodies of black men to stay alive, which is actually a really smart reference to black bodies fueling the American system, but it comes off as cheesy because it just never comes up.  He’s cartoonishly bad in a way that he’s less sinister than a meme.  Compare him to say,   Ridgeway from Colson Whitehead’s The Underground Railroad. One’s a sinister representation of an oppressive system and the other’s well, a joke.

Racism

How could this not be a theme?  The issue, as was shown with Lancaster, is that it isn’t even remotely handled with seriousness.  The best scene of racism is in the first episode when Tic, George, and Leti are forced to leave a Sundown county before they’re lynched by the racist sheriff.  The anticipation and animosity lead to some serious anxiety and it was a nailbiter.

But after that?  White people say “nigger.”  Then they get, I don’t know, raped or spit on or who knows.  A lot of black people talk back to the cops anyway in the 50′s and that’s cool.

But the real monsters of the series are all black people.  Let’s go through it: 

Tic brutalized women in the Korean War.

Montrose killed the two-spirit person.

Ruby rapes the shop owner.

Diane crushes Christina’s throat.

Ruby literally sheds her flesh in repeatedly gratuitous acts of the grotesque.

Even Ji-Ah, who’s not black, is a monster in the literal sense.  We do see the doctor that experimented on black people, but that’s about 5 minutes at the end of an episode that has a baby’s head on a man’s body so I was too busy laughing at the absurdity to take any real meaning from it.

The truth is, in Lovecraft Country, white people always should do their best to kill or keep black people down.  It definitely doesn’t speak at all to any togetherness or what have you.  Just, well. Magical negroes doing bad stuff because nothing can stop them.

The show misses the chances to show real horror in race.  Hell, the Tulsa Riots are reduced to a backdrop for a confusing book scene.  But then again, Emmett Till becomes a kind of empty reference point that we then see a white woman act out... for some reason? 

Again, the only characters with any chemistry are Ruby and Christina, which is very unfortunate for any number of reasons. As far as a statement that racism is bad goes, I mean. I barely saw it.  If I was a racist I’d be like hell yeah, Lovecraft was right they are dangerous.

Even when people try to indicate the horrors of it like, “Oh, the Korean War scenes are bad because we see how men are forced into the military complex!”  We didn’t see a white officer say “Shoot her, boy,” it was just two black guys killing women with no care at all. And no compeuppance, so that’s cool.

The Music

Sucks.  Thanks Peaky Blinders for making modern music over gif sets a thing.

Conclusion

I sure as hell would never watch it again.  If I can get one other person not to, then maybe it’d be worth it. It’s not a good show.  It’s not “smart,” and there’s no secret subversion in it.  It’s just... bad.

I won’t post on it anymore.  Please, in true Lovecraft fashion, trust me when I say that this show is so bad it cannot be comprehended. 

[treeni]

Sanders Side Theory: Creativity’s Name and Roman’s Struggles

Theories Masterpost

Well, apparently some people were interested in my Orange side theory and stuff.

So let’s talk about “King Creativity” and why I disagree with every name theory I’ve seen so far and what I think instead. I’m not certain “King Creativity” is ever going to be named in the show, just knowing he existed is probably enough, but wouldn’t it be fantastic if there was a backstory episode? Or even aside episode?

First! Let’s start with the fact that I actually think it’s really interesting that everyone’s defaulting to Creativity being “King” when it is in fact Emperors who ruled Rome. Not a criticize, just interesting thought. Second, Kings were supposed to sit back and let their knights and armies basically do all of the physical work (Unless your Arthur, but it usually got him into trouble so! Moving on!) while you lead them as whatever supreme ruler title you take. However, a Crowned Prince was often at the head of said adventures and battles, in the thick of it all, but was basically indisputably the accepted next in line. (Approved by the courts and all that jazz, I mean historically it didn’t always go that way, but that was the intention). However, a regular Prince and a Duke could absolutely have a power struggle, especially in the situation where the Duke was previously “next in line” before the Prince’s birth. So if Roman and Remus ever did duke it out (also mini theory that Remus chose Duke for the fighting reference) I think one of them could/would become King, but I don’t think that’s who creativity was before the split.

Now I have a particular crowned prince in mind that creativity is named after, but lets not get ahead of ourselves. Let’s start by talking about some of the most popular theories and why I disagree with them.

CW: for before the “Keep Reading” section. There is mention of metaphorical and fictional murder, war, lgbt theory (not that, that should surprise anyone). Roman backstory (aka things he might regret now.)

Romulus: While I suppose it’s convenient in the fact that its sort of the names combined, Romulus is already the role that Roman is filling in his relationship with Remus. Twins that supposedly found Rome, but Romulus killed his brother Remus to do so and become the ruler. Romulus literally named Rome after himself. This isn’t a hint, this isn’t something that’s upcoming or anything, this is backstory. Roman is literally just a modernized version of the name Romulus. Remus’ banishment to the darkside was his metaphorical murder. It also suggests that Roman took an active role in sending Remus away, which also helps explain a lot of Roman’s current struggle with Janus. Can you imagine the kind of guilt he might be feeling if he was the one who decided his brother was evil and he was good and then he passed judgement? If the darksides aren’t evil, then Roman and he metaphorically murdered Remus, then he wasn’t the hero slaying the beast anymore. Instead, he’s suddenly the bad guy.

Buuuut Treeni, what about Patton??? I hear you say. It would have had to have been morality right?

And to that I say you’re WRONG! And also right. Patton’s kinda been shown to be the most accepting bean of the whole lot, he doesn’t really try to force the others away the way some of the other sides do. Instead, he puts his foot down on his own convictions and refuses to listen to reason. (I didn’t say he was perfect.) Still, he doesn’t try to physically push the others away, not Virgil when he tried scaring Thomas, not Janus when they argued and Patton was clearly distressed by the courtroom situation, and not even Remus when Patton was clearly scared of him (also defensive of Roman). He doesn’t need to, he’s self-assured in his own place and convictions that he doesn’t worry about Thomas pushing him out. Instead, Patton kinda takes the family holiday party route and will do his best to put out the emotional fires and stand his ground on his opinion to Thomas when he needs to. (The ONLY time I could find Patton sort of pushing someone away was when they were in his room and Patton asked Logan to stop. While that could weaken my argument about Patton, I think it strengthens it because it shows how big of a deal it was at the time that Patton tried shutting him down. Logan reacted the way he did by immediately storming off because it’s not something Patton does.) While it could absolutely be Patton’s influence that caused the split, it would be out of character (as he’s currently defined) for Patton to actively push a side away. (I’ll get into some of his more negative aspects in another post if ya’ll wanna hear about it.)

Remember, Roman was the one who tried shutting down Virgil with bullying tactics, Logan too sometimes. Then he tried to use the same tactics on Janus when he tried putting his foot down on maintaining a black and white view point of the world after Remus’ appearance. Keep in mind that Remus actively told us that he blames Roman for his banishment. He compared himself and Roman to Cain and Able. While c!Thomas and even the audience as a whole were sort of led to think of Remus as Cain because of the “dark and evil” association, Remus is telling us that he is Abel. Roman is his destroyer. (Before you feel too bad for Remus, that misconception was also on purpose because while Remus isn’t a liar, he can manipulate a situation with honesty. Again, another post if you wanna hear about why.)

So now there is some general understanding of the twins backstory, you’ll see why Romulus would be a terrible fit for their combined name because Roman is already Romulus. Period. He’s the one who betrayed his brother by “murdering” him and taking over.

Making Romulus the name of who creativity was before because the names kinda morph together would lazy writing compared to very carefully woven details the show has had thus far (particularly in season 2). Okay, that went on a bit of a tangent, so next!

Caesar: This is a person who brought about the destruction of Rome, not the creation of it. (With Rome basically being the metaphorical state c!Thomas is living in now with clear lines between good/bad, right/wrong etc.) While it’s not a horrible ideology, it would be moving forward in a historical timeline instead of backwards. If you subscribe to the idea that Roman and Remus cannot go back to who they were (even with some kind of theoretical re-morphing) Caesar might be who they become, but it seems unlikely that is who they were. Remember that both sides are individuals now and those individual traits they’ve gained since splitting may not re-mesh cleanly back into who they once were. I personally don’t think there’s any “going back” for Creativity.

If they show him as he once was, it would likely only be in either a backstory bit or in a temporary situation where the re-combining doesn’t hold. However, if Creativity ever did become one thing again, I think it would be something completely new and I think Caesar would be a good fit for that in particular.

Aeneas: Again, it would be kinda lazy writing comparatively. Instead of using a sorta combination of the names that had some historical basis, this theory is based entirely on the idea of a convenient ancestor who quested and failed over and over to create Rome. I could have bought this had it been from lesser writers, but Thomas, Joan and the whole team do not mess around in story crafting and really carefully woven in references. I am literally degreed in writing and analysis and I keep finding myself impressed at the layers.

The name Aeneas also implies that the character Creativity was specifically questing for a change and that seems doubtful given the resentment between the brothers. Aeneas was essentially a left-over scavenger trying to scrape together a new home from what he could from already broken pieces and that does not sound like what Creativity is implied to be.

If we look at child development, I would theorize that Creativity is the oldest side. In the creative process, there are two major steps, first is information absorption, then second is application. The first thing any child must do is learn, anything and everything. The world is a limitless and imaginative playground. New material is around every corner and there it takes a while before the distinction between reality and fiction to be understood. It was probably just c!Thomas and Creativity for a while and as the others emerged, they looked up to him. It could even be potentially argued that Creativity was literally their creators.

This would imply that Aeneas would be a pretty terrible fit for him in that case because there’s nothing broken that he’s trying to salvage. The kingdom is his and c!Thomas’ to preside over with the other sides as his subjects. (c!Thomas being the distant “King” and Creativity being the “Crowned Prince”).

So, with all of that out of the way on why some of these theories are probably wrong, what do I think?

I think Creativity’s name is Hector.

Now, hear me out on this. For those of you who have read the Iliad you probably know exactly who I am referencing. You just may not know why. So stay with me here.

1. First, for those of you who don’t know, Hector was the Crowned Prince of Troy, the leader of the army that the Greeks (the perspective we’re getting) are facing off against. He’s also cousin to Aeneas, but actually accomplished things during the war beyond being saved by Aphrodite. This means he’s also an ancestor to both Romulus and Remus (albeit technically less direct). However, Hector’s family is where the royal lineage of Aeneas comes from. Though we follow the story mainly from the perspective of the Greeks (and the gods because they’re TROLLS), the Greek’s are pretty villainous in a lot of their actions throughout the story and they are most definitely the invaders. In this case, I would liken the Greek army to “outside opinion” for c!Thomas. Others interjecting their views on to someone and breaking his own beliefs. In this situation, Creativity would have been his biggest defender and hero, retreating into magical imaginary worlds to escape judgement.

2. So lets get onto the character and why him, shall we? Hector will literally do anything for his family. The war takes place because his little brother, Paris (one of a whopping 49 brothers mind you) either kidnaps, has Aphrodite kidnap or runs away with the Spartan Queen Helen because he fell in love with her. (It varies on the version and she was forced into her previous marriage at about 13 anyway, so Helen leaving willingly for the guy who the gods deem is the most attractive man alive is a popular modern reading.) It would have been so easy for the Trojans to yeet Helen back to Greece, but they don’t and Hector’s defense of her and his brother is a big reason why. Hector even chastises his brother for the mess he’s caused, but still stands by him and defends him. He also defends the hell out of Helen and refuses to blame her for their problems. Then in Troilus and Criseyde (Basically published Iliad perspective shift fanfiction with OCs) he defends the hell out of Criseyde when even Troilus, (apparently one of the 50 brothers) the person who claims to be in love with her, wont. Hector’s truly an all around good guy, great leader and has a very distinctive and personal moral compass that doesn’t always align with what’s being told to him is right. You want a character representation for someone who led the sides despite their clear struggles? Someone with Roman’s charm and heroism, and Remus’ understanding and drive? Hector is probably it.

3. Hector’s death is both a huge symbol for the end of Troy, but also isn’t? Let me explain, narratively speaking, Hector’s death is the point you know that Troy is basically doomed. His end is the representation of the end of it all. His corpse was literally paraded around as Achilles’s dragged it on the back of a chariot for days to show their doom. There was a distinct “aura” shift from Hector’s death as all of Troy mourned his death. We as an audience know Troy is basically doomed from Hector’s death alone. Hector was a person that even the enemy Greeks hella respected as a warrior and leader. Essentially, this was the point that the war that had been raging for about a decade became serious. At the same time, it just simply isn’t the end of the war. There’s the whole horse thing still to come and all that jazz. Still though, Hector’s death is very much a symbol of “everything changes, but nothing does.” Which is the perfect symbol for the twins split to me. Just because they split doesn’t mean that all of the sides did immediately, yet it was still probably the turning point that drove a wedge between the “dark” and “light” sides.

4. The character Hector arguably died in the name of gay love. Okay, story time. So in the Iliad, Achilles is being a little bitch and refusing to fight anymore because drama between him and the king of Athens, but he’s their best fighter and the Greek’s are basically sorta loosing because of him not helping. His boyf- I mean best friend Patroclus goes out in Achilles armor and leads his army in his place because Achilles is a whiny baby. Except Hector kinda immediately kills Patroclus, thinking he’s Achilles with reinforcements.(This was full body armor baby and distinctive cause baby of a god and all that mocha frappe.) Of course, Achilles has to immediately get angry revenge for his boyf- BEST friend and ends up killing Hector. This would make the character Hector a great metaphor for Creativity if his split had anything to do with sexuality or even acceptance as a whole. (Though we know acceptance is definitely a part of it considering Remus.) We know that Remus wants c!Thomas to explore darker themes and the struggle of sexuality and acceptance could be a possibility in what is to come as a previously “off-limits” theme.

5. A big one is that the destruction of Troy is what eventually brought about the creation of Rome. Essentially Troy would be the metaphor of c!Thomas’ existence/mentality before the sides split into dark/light factions. Then Rome would be the metaphor of c!Thomas’ existence/mentality after the sides split into factions.

6.Finally, the name Hector literally means “to restrain” which would work well for Creativity as he was likely trying to reign in the others from infighting (and you can see how well that went with him being gone). 

Cheers to another rant into the void. Huzzah! God this is nearly as long as some of my seminar papers. Do what you will with this information.

Please keep in mind that I adore Roman as a character. This post isn’t meant to hate on him. It’s meant to bring awareness of the layers of his character. Every Prince Charming was a villain to someone, every hero that slays the beast is a murderer from a different light. 

I don’t bring these things to light to cause pain, I bring them to light to help bring awareness of what’s probably going through his head.

(Yes, in regards to the Creativity being made first thing, I DO even have a theory about existence order, I promise you I have theories about everything. My mind does not stop with this crap. I have theories on everything from what animal association Roman and Logan have to Virgil’s key role in Roman’s backstory. I’ve ranted about a bunch of these things to a few specific people so if you ever want me to go on a rant about anything in particular let me know. I didn’t expect anyone to actually look at the other theory post tbh. Inbox me if you want me to go to unnecessary lengths on something else.)

(Also, correct me on the Patton thing if I’m wrong. I took notes on a recent watch through, but I wasn’t specifically looking for his rejection sooo, if there are other moments of it you can find that didn’t jump out at me I totally accept criticism.)

[unregistered-hypercam-two]

Do you actually like Micah ? Why lol

ok, long post but yeah, I do

I’m gonna try to word this as best I can but english ain’t my first language so bear with me, partner

so... micah’s one of those villains you can’t help but laugh at and joke about. he’s a greasy bastard rat man who’s constantly making weird noises and has the weirdest temperment... and I don’t just mean in regards to anger.

micah is shown multiple times to be romantic and clingy, especially when it comes to dutch and arthur. like weirdly so that it took me two entire playthru’s to really see it...

micah’s a doll to arthur in the beginning, arthur’s distain for micah’s weird bootlickin’ backhanded comments sometimes spurs micah into a temperment fit but otherwise, micah seems to genuinely think of arthur as more than just some dumb gunslinger, he compliments arthur multiple times throughout the game, though none are ever requitted by our favorite outlaw...

and I mean, for good reason, micah’s constantly on a manic episode so you always have this feeling that micah can never be fully trusted at one given point. but I do believe he’s being genuine when he compliments dutch and arthur and gives them his advice (moreso dutch as the game plays out and arthur keeps pushing him away)

I think...

well, I have two theories... that I wanna talk about, and I might as well put it here...

so what if arthur requitted micah’s compliments, bantered with him like a friend rather than an outsider? (micah does bring up a good point that he’s been loyal to the gang longer than charles and yet arthur trusts charles so much more) do you think micah’d betray the van der linde gang if everyone put up with him a bit better or maybe tried to talk him through like... his trauma? (like how the girls tm sometimes let arthur and some of the other boys vent to them and rant about things that bother them)

do you think micah could truly change or is he already brutally morphed into a mass of evil constant? because I think about his upbringing a lot,

especially that one newspaper clipping talking about how micah and micah’s dad, micah (🥴) killed some ranchers by slittin’ their throat n’ hangin’ ‘em... micah was 17... imagine before that, how much grooming do you think it takes to force a child to murder someone? and judgin’ by what we know about papa micah and granpa micah, he was probably forced to do a plethora of gruesome and twisted things to strangers at a young age... I hate to see it

but I digress, micah had that one newspaper clippin’ of dutch’s bounty in his camp near Strawberry (you can go find it at any given point in the game after the american postoral service quest) so he was definitely contemplating it... but do you think if he felt more accepted in the gang when he was approached by Milton (after they tried to rope arthur into their deal when he took Jack fishing) he wouldn’t have taken the offer?

because micah’s alone at this point... he only has cleet n’ joe who implied/said (I never heard the dialogue myself) that they feel uncomfortable around micah at times due to his manic episodes, so... the van der linde gang is all micah has before he drives them apart and wills Milton’s deal, trying to isolate dutch, manipulate him, turn him in (which is... really strange considering even after arthur dies and after everyone gets away, micah takes in dutch and they coexist in the mountain for years after... why not turn him in in all those years he had him? with milton dead and the rest of the pinkerton agency not really knowing who micah is, he could have easily turned dutch in for a boat load of cash...)

but I keep thinkin’... even before all that, what if arthur and john were a bit more able and ready to handle micah at his weirdest, at his most clinically insane. maybe they could have drove him out peacefully or maybe they could have changed him :\ taken him in as a true brother... it wouldn’t be easy seeing as how absolutely gone micah is after being forced down the outlaw path at such a young age

don’t get me wrong, everyone started out young in the oUtLaW LiFe but fuck if dutch and hosea kept john and arthur’s heads on them and didn’t force them to kill children, maim women, slit farmer’s throats open for some quick cash— kill for fun. hell, their motto is that they only shoot people who NEED shootin’, micah’s daddy from the sounds of it really had no moral, no fucks to give ever.

being groomed to kill for fun, to be indifferent to women in general (seeing them as objects), and to see POC as outsiders (micah was probably raised to see them not only as lesser than him but probably as more evil), it couldn’t have been easy on micah’s psyche so yeah, maybe I’m bein’ a dreamer in this, trying to formulate a reality where micah can be changed, where he can have a realistic redemption arc but in honesty?

something drastic between he and arthur would have to happen in order for that to happen... it’s just weird seeing this goofy drunk man giving arthur praise and compliments and gifts descending more and more into this rotten and insane brick wall. hell, in the beginning when they were up in Colter, micah took missions well, listened to orders and directions extremely well without having to input anything and then you reach shady belle and micah questions everything anyone does, constantly has dutch changing his mind or thinking about something else other than the task at hand

I like micah a lot, his character is so interesting and he and his psyche and his motives, they’re all fun to study and I wish... idk I wish there were more redemption arc fics for him ‘cause I’m a sucker for them 😔

and as a disclaimer, I should say I do not support micah’s actions nor do I necessarily condone his thoughts towards those he deems lesser than him... I think he’s a fun character to play around with, that’s all, that’s why he’s my favorite character

[iaintyourbro]

You know, because of the ending of the Remake, a lot of people think that Aerith is not going to die this time and Cloud will end up loving and being with Aerith. Some people also think that Cloud is actually going to die in the Remake. What do you think about this? Do you think they will stick with the original story or no? Some fans are mad that the story will have changes and they say if Aerith does not die or Cloud does die it ruins the whole entire compilation and that it's no longer canon.

Hi anon.

By a lot, I think you mean a few. Most people don’t think Aerith is going to live and most people don’t believe even if she did that Cloud would end up with her. Doing that would blow out everything later in the game, and some of that stuff (The Lifestream) are dev AND fan favorites. They’re not removing them. Modifying/expanding/clarifying - yes. Taking out? No. 

Aerith is interested in what’s up with Zack in Remake. The fact that Zack is shown at the end to me was a big thing with that. It introduces speculation.

I trust the devs that FF7 will be FF7. They actually din’t divert much in Part 1. They added, expanded, and did tweak things, but nothing they removed (ie Shinra prison scene) changes the story. Cloud still helps Avalanche and goes on both bombing missions - the whispers were involved in the second one, only because they weren’t going to invite him and forced it so he would be. Cloud still falls into the Sector 5 church, they still go through Wall Market, they still try to stop the Sector 7 plate from collapsing, and Aerith still gets kidnapped. The diversion is mainly at the end of the Midgar Expressway - but then after it all, they’re on their way like they were in OG. Outside of Midgar.

Ultimately, I assume you’ll see something similar in future Parts. Non-plot damaging things could be removed or changed. Plot enhancing things will be added (the whole Avalanche backstory and missions in Part 1 were really good and I think it made the Sector 7 plate collapse even more emotional). 

So you’ll see things like the development of Tifa and Aerith’s friendship continue, which they did a poor job of in OG (they’ve already done a lot in Remake with Part 1), you’ll see things like Rufus and the Turks’ stories expanded, you’ll see certain areas expanded on, Nibelheim will probably be much more filled out than what it was previously, the  Shinra Mansion will probably be a bigger deal - Vincent won’t be optional, for example. 

They will need to address the Zack/possible second timeline thing. That’s where you’ll see something very different, but would it change the main story? Probably not, but they’ll make you think it does. My guess is you’re going to cross with the second timeline at some point - most likely around Aerith’s death. They’ll end the part this happens on with the timeline merge and you having no clue what it means or who is where. Another “the Unknown Journey will continue” thing. 

But ultimately? No, I don’t think major story points are changing. Enhanced, most likely. The main plot points will be there just like they were in Part 1. 

One thing I do think they’ll change? You’re not going to have player choice anymore. They took it out of Part 1 (think about how many you have in OG vs Remake) and affection points are equal - you do quests, you get affection points. If you do all the quests, you can select one or the other in the sewers to break the tie. 

The Gold Saucer will probably not be a date like we’re expecting. They took care of that in Part 1, but you’ll still be doing stuff at the Gold Saucer. Either it’ll be a set date with one person or it will be something non-romantic. 

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 16

here we go, the crux of the pain...

ok I'm not prepared for this but I gotta rip the bandaid off, lets go

oh!!! magnus flashbacks!! I honestly thought these were shown later...this is such cool setup for the next arc tho I love it

and the tieback to the scavengers ark, showing fulcrum’s flashback but from magnus’s perspective, as the guy labelled with ‘ultra magnus’ blows him up...

and like, I love that those flashbacks are so vague, and you don't even really know why you're being shown them - I feel like when I first read this I assumed it was to show a bunch of times where magnus almost died but didn't even though he was expected to die - like here w/overlord - but we’ll soon find out that's not quite the case...

and I like the little details that don't add up, like the second flashback-magnus having his autobrand at an angle (which current-magnus would obviously hate), and the ‘witty banter’ remark about 3rd flashback-magnus, which could very well be genuine 

oh god oh christ the shot of the lost light flying away from the wreckage of the pod and you can see rewinds broken camera just floating there...fuckgin kill me bro

tg wiping off mangus’s leg because ‘he hates dirt’ tailgate ;_; ily 

drift just chillin with 0 legs left

augh poor tailgate, he’s uniquely unprepared for the horrors of battle after sitting out the whole war

oh god, chromedome is standing on the outside of the ship being sad, I already cant handle this

ohhhh god cd talking about him and rewind looking at the stars together ;_; excuse me while I cry my eyes out

chromedome, you have the worst goddamn coping mechanisms

never over rodimus’s office having flames around the door. my guy

magnus invented a font? that makes so much sense somehow

rodimus is worried about his dad :( 

damnnnnn rung with that absolutely BRUTAL read on rodimus, oof. way to kick someone when they're down...ouch

but really, rodimus’s hero complex is so fascinating, especially bc he’s aware that he has it to some degree, and he’s not necessarily a bad person, so he tries somewhat to avoid playing into it, but that's a difficult thing to do...

 brainstorm hugging his briefcase like that at the funeral...hhhh

swerve, the ‘case quest’ sounds like a spectacularly bad idea

god I'm so sad this whole issue but rodimus giving this big impassioned funeral speech that seems like its about rewind, only for it to REALLY be about some guy who turns into a tripod....really funny

godddd chromedome and brainstorm sitting together, and cd staring at his (remaining) hand....bro :(((

super interested in the fact that rodimus is religious, even though he’s not really overt about it, and it’s not touched on much in the story

rung staring intensely and accusingly at rodimus....jesus that's intimidating

chromedome is clearly uh. Not Coping well, which anyone could see after his “speech” about rewind

brainstorm giving cd that Look :( oh man oh god

GODDDDDDDD the reveal that chromedome has been through this THREE TIMES before, and every single time has chosen to forget, and the whole thing w/the innermost energon...im fucking devastated m8. god

hhhhh and brainstorm saying that he knows cd will go through with it, because they've had this same conversation multiple times before...fucking kill me 

also brainstorm and cd’s friendship is so AUGHHHHH my heart man. earlier on they're friendly assholes to each other but now we get to see that they both have a lot of deep emotions

oh god and now the whole thing with drift. hhhhhh this issue HURTS man

thinkin abt how brainstorm, while talking to cd, said that he thinks that drift ‘has the urge to name names’ but really, drift threw himself on the sword and took ALL the blame, even though cd even said, a lot of it was on him for going into the cell without telling anyone...plus brainstorm (and as we later find out, rodimus) is involved as well....AUGH

and drift being cast out so harshly seems rough, even though we know what he (and the others) did was bad

also looks like magnus is reanimating himself over in the medbay...i love all the symbolism with magnus’s hand this issue

OH GOD OH NO I CANT HANDLE THIS. REWINDS GOODBYE MESSAGE IS SERIOUSLY THE BIGGEST TEARJERKER IN THE STORY

‘you and me apart strikes me as intensely wrong’ I'm literally weeping. hello. I cant fucking handle this 

NOOOO GODDDD I seriously cant deal with rewinds message overlaid onto drift leaving the ship, and being attacked as he goes, and then ratchet helping him up with ‘you're a better person now - stubborn and frustrating but wonderful!’ over the panels AUGHHHH my heart cant handle any of this. my organs are shutting down as we speak

god I'm just ugly crying @ the end of the message.... ‘one more thing - one last thing - because I don't say it enough...I love you’ AUGHHHH

and its rewind himself who says the ‘I love you’ ;_; LOOK HOW HARD I CAN CRY!!!!!!!!!!!

and the panels of chromedome retracting his needles...he was ready to go through w/it just like brainstorm said but rewind was able to convince him otherwise from beyond the grave ;_; its about the LOVE man

like...rewind might not have known about cd’s past husbands and all the bad coping mechanism nonsense surrounding all that (or maybe he did? unclear) but either way, he knows chromedome so well by now, and knows that he’d be devastated by rewind dying, and so he leaves him this final message....additionally, I feel like rewind, being an archivist, would loathe the idea of being erased from the memory of the person who cares for him the most, and his goodbye message succeeded in preventing that

next, to give us a break from extreme emotional devastation brought about by gay robots, we check in with magnus, who has decided he’s had enough of all of this nonsense and has vacated the premise, somehow

aaaaand right back to being hit by a metaphorical emotional bat, because it looks like tailgate’s gonna die posthaste! 

I really love how the character profile descriptions change periodically

SO...this issue...this ARC....GODDDD. I mean its clear from my liveblogs that this destroyed me emotionally, phew....

I will say, I think the writing here is so excellent - this little 3-issue ‘arc’ felt like it had been built up to perfectly from the very beginning, and it all came together in a well-paced and devastating conclusion here 

I mean, this isn't the end of s1, we still have remain in light, but a lot of plot points wrapped up here. I don't know much about comics but I feel like they can get cancelled pretty fast, and idek how many issues mtmte was ��guaranteed’ at this point, so I really commend jro & co for being able to construct such a fantastic story with a solid conclusion, while also setting up a bunch more plotlines for what would hopefully be future issues 

I will say. I'm super glad rewind ends up coming back, and also that things get a lot gayer soon, bc this would have been devastating to read in a whole different way if it was just a bad ole str8forward bury your gays situation 

but since it isn't, then I'm free to be extremely emotional about it, oof

I feel like I've articulate a lot of my thoughts already so ill end here and say: this slaps, cant wait to re-read more

[atalana]

Alright, I’ve just spent 17 hours absorbing the epilogue, and in true Dirk Strider fashion, I have Thoughts.

I had plenty of responses I’ve been considering to this, about two hours ago I was honestly thinking of just dropping in with a fuckin one liner like “So Dirk Three wrote the epilogue” (Dirk Three kinda did write the epilogue, and I’ll explain that too), but we’re on the fucking essay train now and no one’s getting off it any time soon so it’s time to dive into this fucker and get it all off my chest.

Under the cut you will find essays on Dirk, cherubs, ultimate selves, both major Dirk fics (Detective Pony and Theatre of Coolty), a bunch of story bullshit, and my severe love for all Homestuck characters

(But very little criticism of the epilogue, I am no longer about that life)

So the prologue is important here. It’s the main bit of accurate information we have, not tainted by an unreliable narrator. (Well, it is, but less so). The prologue tells us that, with the characters outside of canon, they are becoming their ultimate selves, particularly the characters most susceptible to such knowledge, like seers, or heart players.

Now Homestuck wrestles a lot with the idea of the ultimate self. It is, as defined by the text, the true thing a person is, an amalgamation of every possible version of themselves. It is not a viable human being, because that’s not how human beings work. It basically amounts to Hussie’s character rules, like, there are some ways that these characters will be always, some things they’re prone to, things they like, decisions they’re likely to make, but who the person is within that is subject to extreme change depending on circumstance. The four people who embody this narrative most clearly are Vriska, Terezi, Davepeta, and Dirk.

I’m still not 100% sure on why the ultimate selves outside of canon thing is, but my best guess would be this - within the story, there’s a definite timeline, right? Like, these are the things that are written down, this is what you can see, the word of god (loaded phrase, thanks Dirk), the things that you look at when trying to apply death of the author (even more loaded phrase, thanks Hussie, also thanks Calliope). There’s more than one timeline, sure, but that’s the point, everyone is who they are within that timeline, affected by what happened to make them who they became. Outside of canon is, well, outside of the story. They’re not affected by the story here, they’re just characters. This is a fanfiction site. And what does fanfic do best? It takes the characters, takes who they are, pulls them out of the story, and shoves them in wherever it likes, to become whoever it is they become. And thus who the character is exactly becomes murky and confusing if you’re trying to jam them all into one thing, and it all gives Rose Lalonde a headache. Ultimate selves.

Davepeta liked their ultimate self, it helped two kids who were otherwise struggling with unsatisfying ultimate selves to become a better whole.

Vriska took the proactive approach, by which I mean bullying her other selves into letting her become the ultimate Vriska, which was ultimately useless and gave her no ultimate self at all

Terezi saw her ultimate self, and is still processing what that means for her (but also Terezi is still in canon, so she’s immune to epilogue bullshit)

And Dirk, god, poor Dirk. Dirk was terrified of it. Because he could see his ultimate self and he knew that’s not the kind of person he wanted to become. (And this is where I start using the Theatre of Coolty numbers because there’s no other way to get through this, if you haven’t read/seen it you 100% should, but as a general note, Dirk One is the main Dirk we know, Dirk Two is Brain Ghost Dirk, Dirk Three is “Trickster Dirk” but actually revealed later to be Hussie, Dirk Four is Hal)

Because here’s the thing. Dirk’s ultimate self is him, but it’s also Hal. It’s also BGD. It’s also Bro. And Dirk One was never as bad as he thought he was, but he surrounded himself with copies of himself, so he knew how bad he could be, and tried everything he could to avoid it. We have actual canon confirmation on multiple occasions that Dirk would so much rather kill himself than become the kind of person capable of hurting his friends. Which only got worse after he met Dave and realised Bro existed, like, that just doubled his resolve to Never Be That Person.

(Hey, fun hypothetical, if you kill yourself to stop yourself becoming a bad person because you know it’s inevitable but you’re too good a person to want to go through with it, is it heroic or just? Because I would like to have a lengthy discussion with the god tier clock!)

God, there’s so much I can write on the subject of Dirk’s ultimate self. Because you can see every version of him inside there, there’s Bro in his possessiveness, Hal in his need to fuck with people for no real reason, BGD in his hyper critical nature (beyond what is normal for all Dirks), Dirk One in his desire to never let anyone hurt him again. (God, the “I’ll never let you break my heart again” line hurt so much, because like… I can feel Dirk One in that line, but it’s delivered by ultimate Dirk, and ultimate Dirk isn’t the kind of person who would have even been heartbroken by Jake’s actions. Dirk One poured his soul into that relationship and Jake responded by ignoring him, and like, this isn’t a dig on Jake, because that did make Dirk very intense and hard to deal with, but as Calliope so beautifully put, the children left alone are those who most despair at being ignored. And every version of Dirk was so very alone.)

When sending initial thoughts to my friend, I wrote “Ultidirk is Dirk One but without the compassion or empathy and with an apparently infinite supply of horse tranquilizers”. Which was mostly a joke, but does get down to the core of the problem. Dirk One and Ultidirk aren’t really that different, when it comes down to it. But there’s one crucial element that makes all the difference. Dirk One’s life philosophy is “This is a me problem, so I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure you don’t have to deal with that problem, at any cost”. Ultidirk’s life philosophy is “This is a me problem, so I’m going to make it everyone else’s problem. And it turns out that without basic human empathy and morality holding him back, Ultidirk will just… fucking declare himself God, and use that alongside his powers of manipulation to just write a new story in which he is the villain. Very little changes in the scale of things.

(The other main difference is that Dirk One is scared to exist, whereas every other Dirk is scared to not exist, that’s the stuff, good callback, etc etc, that line fucking killed me, and also killed whatever remnant of Dirk One was still lurking inside Ultidirk and god I want to hug him)

(I also want to extract him from Ultidirk and bring him on an Ultidirk murdering quest bc he would be 100% down for that without a second’s hesitation but that’s a bit hard to do)

Now you may be wondering why I brought up Theatre of Coolty if I was only gonna refer to Dirk One as Dirk One and not touch on any of the others. Well, it’s true, saying Dirk Two and Dirk Four when I have simple three letter names for both of them is a bit ridiculous. But then we get to Dirk Three.

Now here’s the thing about Theatre of Coolty. Dirk One appears in Homestuck, as alpha Dirk, in Dirk’s usual shirt with the orange hat. Dirk Two appears in Homestuck, as brain ghost Dirk in god tier pyjamas. Dirk Four appears in Homestuck as Hal, and he wears a red hat because he’s Dirk in a different colour scheme, also because the sprite Hussie eventually made for him based on fanon had a red hat, all’s sorted there.

But Dirk Three? Trickster Dirk? Never appeared in Homestuck. They tried, but it was still Dirk One. Dirk is immune to cherubic influence (remember this point too, it’s important), because his concept of self is so present (and also because he’s depressed as fuck, but that doesn’t necessarily exclude you, it’s just the presence of both at once). And who does Dirk Three turn out to be? Well, they said it from the start, Theatre of Coolty is about the presence or absence of god, who definitely will show up at some point. Dirk Three is Hussie in a Dirk costume, Dirk Three is God, Dirk Three is The Author.

Dirk Three is Ultidirk. Congrats, all four Dirks have officially shown up in Homestuck, to whatever extent this counts as Homestuck, an extent which has been thoroughly documented by its own existence bc this is Homestuck (kinda) and you gotta lean into the bullshit or you’ll drown in it.

So yes, this was penned by Dirk Three. Who is also Lord English in two different metaphorical ways now (The trickster element, and also the fact that the epilogues insist on making Jane a second Condesce, which in this analogy puts Dave as himself and Dirk as, you guessed it, Cherub Master of All. Which is additionally insulting as fuck because Dirk grew up in that apocalypse and would never contribute to recreating it, if Jane ever was inclined to, which she isn’t, but you know).

And LE’s major force of opposition? Adult Calliope. (Also, like, Vriska, but symbolically it’s the other cherub.)

Which brings me to the main point of this essay, and that is that all of this? It’s a cherub fic. And we knew this, from the moment we were offered that choice. Meat or Candy? Well, neither of them are sustainable food sources for humans, not with the meat uncooked like that. They’re not satisfying endings for us either. But it’s all cherubs eat. (Well, that and special stardust, but that was Caliborn’s intermission. This is Calliope’s offering.)

Which again feeds back into the AO3 metaphor because from their introduction, Caliborn and Calliope have been fandom inserts, representing all of us, for better or worse. They read the story, come up with the theories, they write the fanfic.

And Calliope’s trying so hard. But she’s not human. She doesn’t get it, not on a way that connects with the characters, only with the text. Cherubs spend their lifetime alone. Cherubs only have black romance. Cherubs think trickster mode is an acceptable way to solve problems.

And, as Dirk pointed out back when he was still himself, everyone getting married and having a bunch of babies for no reason doesn’t solve shit.

Without a solid timeline, everyone became susceptible to becoming their ultimate selves. Ultidirk is a dick with the powers of actual capital g God, and none of the remorse of Dirk One, so he took control of the narrative. And so Calliope, the fanfic author, the one with the power to write a new story (with the exception of Dirk, as previously mentioned, he’s immune to cherub bullshit, and John and Terezi, who are still in canon), tried to help everyone realise their full potential.

But she made them selfish. She made them solitary. She doesn’t understand how humans work, so they became parodies of themselves. In meat, there’s a plot, but it’s insubstantial, because no one is truly themselves, facing a Dirk who lost himself years ago. In candy, it’s fluff with, again, no substance. It’s trickster mode calmed down. Everyone gets married and has babies, but it makes no sense, and everyone’s miserable.

And John Dirk and Terezi are the only ones who see it, because they’re the ones who haven’t been given to Calliope. But what’s the point, when they’ve lost their power over the story? What’s the point of gaining power if you’re not yourself anymore? (And one way or another, they all die in the end.)

The rest of them… Well, they do the things the narrative implied they would do, but usually in the worst possible way.

(Aradia and Sollux have been canon neutral since 2011 and they like it that way)

And now we go back to Detective Pony, like everyone and their mother have analysed already. Because yeah, these two things have so much in common, but also, some really crucial differences.

Both are stories in which Dirk takes control of the narrative, in which he is fought for control by another author figure, in which he considers his own role in the story, what he’s created, who’s got the authority (I still love that pun so much), and eventually forces the characters to come to the conclusion that he needs to be defeated, because at the end of the day Dirk is still hopelessly suicidal and like most problems the kids have, this is never addressed outside of ironic bullshit. (Not to him anyway, it’s kinda addressed in candy but I think if you’re talking about someone’s suicidal tendencies at their funeral it’s too fucking late).

But Detective Pony is ultimately a heavily veiled love letter to his friends. Detective Pony is Dirk exploring what he fears becoming, it’s him learning to let go, and eventually he relinquishes control of the book to the characters in it (as does Jeanne Betancourt).

Meat is Dirk’s notice of ownership over his friends. It’s him glorifying having become that thing he used to fear, it’s holding even tighter to everything he fears losing, and ultimately neither he nor Calliope trust the characters enough to pull back. They’re both obsessed with it, in both iterations, this battle between the two of them, even though it was never supposed to be about either of them.

But Detective Pony has an original story, with a timeline. It even has a second solid story for Dirk to come from, since Homestuck itself explicitly states when and why Dirk made it. When Detective Pony sits down to analyse which version of the text is better, it has that substance to fall back on. Jeanne Betancourt’s version is boring but kind. Dirk’s is interesting but cruel. And because the characters are all solid people, not their hazy ultimate selves, they have agency too, and can decide their own fate.

When Dirk analyses whose version is better in the epilogue, his whole reasoning is that neither is good. The characters rarely have any agency. Even the few moments, between Roxy’s void powers and Dave’s ability to stand up to Bro (which, by the way, so proud of him, how many people do you know who, in a situation where their childhood guardian and abuser literally became god and tried to thought influence them into doing something they kinda wanted to do already, would have the mental resilience to say “no, this isn’t me, stop that” and stand by that? Dave is the strongest goddamn character in this whole comic, holy shit), are only hints of who they were as real characters in the story. Dirk takes control, in one version, because he’s lost himself to Ultidirk, who’s overly concerned with how stories are supposed to be written, and tries to wrestle Homestuck into a shape he finds interesting. In the other, Dirk kills himself before he can hurt anyone. (And before anyone gets on my case about Dirk’s reasoning being he’s lost his purpose, his purpose was always protecting his friends.)

But Calliope’s not helping them either, just piling them full of romance and fluff and selfish parodies of themselves and thinking that’ll work out. Giving the villains “redemption” without ever actually letting them redeem themselves. Explaining all about their tragic backstories without doing anything with it. To bring back a very old quote, it’s like when Mario gets the star. He wins, but he’s denying himself many powerful moments of catharsis.

Just with less happiness, more death, and a bunch of weirdly political teen drama. And then when Calliope gets distracted by Ultidirk and gives up, everything unravels completely, but it also lets them live a life which does let some of the characters be happy, in a weird roundabout way. It’s dysfunctional as fuck, but these characters care so much for each other, not even being in a weird self melting fanon bubble could erase that completely. (And then things get buck fucking wild because this is still Homestuck we’re talking about)

(Though seriously, I could have done without the Jane is a fascist thing, she deserves better than that. Like what was the point of decrockertiering her if she was just gonna go right back to that? Also I love Dave but he barely has a leg to stand on in most of those political arguments anyway given how he completely destroyed LoHaC’s economy and once accused Karkat of communism for captchaloguing a chair. And while I’m complaining, Jake English is still not being allowed to consent to fucking anything.)

I’m not sure why this was written. I’m not sure why a lot of things in Homestuck were written, honestly. It’s certainly not a satisfying ending, but I don’t think it was supposed to be. It’s not disappointing either, and it’s definitely interesting, with all of Homestuck’s trademark humor.

When I first wrote this halfway through candy, I’d written the following as an ending:

“But if we’re going to triple kill the author, I think this is just ultimately validating everyone’s own interpretation of the ending. You can’t write everyone’s fanfic at once. You can’t be a cherub, or a god, we don’t write fic about people’s ultimate selves. What you can do is provide a timeline for them to exist in, and a better one, where they have a chance to be the people they have the potential to be. And just to be happy, in a way that feels real.”

But honestly, now? I think the point was just to fuck with us, and also do a fuckton of exposition about canon and the nature of reality

So fuck it, let’s end on a relevant Dirk quote

[asteriuszenith]

VT Investigation Files: POI Files: Nocturne

(Masterpost)

Account/s

Blogspot

Updated As Of:

7/27/2020

With Regards to His Name

Nocturne is obviously not his real name. He preferred to use that pseudonym in order to maintain some anonymity despite, as he claimed, the fact that a lot of people already probably know his true name due to his whistleblowing days for a company like Montauk. I suppose it could also be a way for him to become more comfortable with sharing his own personal feelings by pretending that the anonymity could protect him from behind the scene.

Nevertheless, as a point of reference for my own files, I’ll state it here that his name is Vincent.

The name Nocturne has a rather interesting meaning behind it. According to google dot com, a nocturne is usually either a musical composition or a work of art that is inspired by, or evocative of, the night.

Vincent, on the other hand, came from the Roman name Vincentius, which was also derived from the latin word vicere which means “to conquer”.

The Nocturnal Archives

Nocturne created The Nocturnal Archives blogger account in order to record his journey on life after he graduated from high school.

At least, that had been the original intention of the blog before a certain event obviously caused an upheaval on his personal life.

After the death of Adrain Carter on October 14 2017, Nocturne became emboldened, or rather to be more accurate, passionate slash obsessed with finding the truth. What sort of truth? I think that originally, it was just to prove his mentor’s innocence with regards to the sexual harassment allegations Dr. Miz Cardozo made around a month after Adrian Carter’s death. However, the deeper he searched for the truth, the more he realized that it wasn’t just about proving his mentor’s innocence at that point but also beginning to pinpoint certain things that doesn’t add up such as his mentor’s research, the fishy events circulating around Miz Cardozo herself, and more.

Most of the entries in the blog contained some self-reflection and reminiscing that tells us of Nocturne’s inner thoughts as well as little facts sprinkled in here and there that told us more about what sort of person he was. Most of the times, however, the entries would focus on his journey for the truth, telling us with some frustration that he’s been encountering roadblock after roadblock in his search for information and sometimes, even when he got some intel, whenever he attempted to piece them all together… It always felt like there was something off or impossible about the information.

It’s definitely a very personal blog and for someone who gives off the vibes that he is a very private person save for when he is around people that he actually cares about, I’m surprised that he actually took the suggestion of his friend to create this blog and put it on public seriously.

Another thing that I’ve noticed on the format of the blog is that it might be heavily inspired by the House of the Leaves book written by Mark Z. Danielewski considering quotes from the book are heavily peppered in around the different entries especially when he’s getting in too deep when he’s talking about a heavy topic. Did he deliberately edit it like that? I don’t know. But I suppose I could always ask him when I manage to muster up the courage to actually talk in the comments.

On the Topic of Adrian Carter

Nocturne looks up to Adrian Carter. He’s constantly singing the man praises for his genius work and personality. He also admired Adrian’s parenting skills and his parent-child relationship with Cassie Carter, noting that despite the long periods of time when they’re physically distant, Adrian was still a hell lot more present in Cassie’s life compared to his own parents who lived much closer to him in distance.

As I said, Nocturne looks up to Adrian as his role model. He admitted in one of his entries that he practically worshipped the grounds the man walked upon with some self-aware light hearted humor:

“It felt like God himself had come down and was like, ‘hey guys, lemme give you some guidance in person here, face-to-godly-face.’”

I wonder if Adrian considered Nocturne as his personal student. If Adrian had been obsessed with perfecting the RedMan then he would have only allowed people that he trusted to influence the creation of the AI, right? So the good relationship between the mentor-student must have been a mutual one.

It appears that Adrian left behind his research to Nocturne or at least, Nocturne had been able to access the man’s lifelong research studies and projects as the creator of the blog had been expressing a nice mixture of appreciation, confusion, and frustration from what he was reading from Adrian’s texts. It appears that most of it doesn’t seem to make sense. He claimed that Adrian seems to have been looking for monsters in the dark judging from some of the ramblings he read through.

Still, Nocturne has nothing but respect and good words for his mentor despite his frustration. He remembers the man fondly and is very much insistent on clearing Adrian’s name after Miz Cardozo stained it with her confession.

Miz Cardozo

It appears as if the two barely crossed paths even as they worked closely with the same man. Nocturne mentioned that Adrian never worked with the three of them together, only ever working with him once Cardozo had gone home for the day (they were working together on RedMan). This claim might get updates if Nocturne will divulge more details on his and Cardozo’s relationship, if there is one outside of the loathing vibes he’d often give off whenever he talked about Cardozo on his blog.

Originally, Nocturne had stayed his tongue when talking about Cardozo after the harassment confession came out. It appeared that he was rejecting the notion that Adrian Carter would do such a thing and was also rather peeved at seeing how Cardozo turned a blind eye on how the world decided to treat Cassie as their newest scapegoat. He decided then that he’ll get to the bottom of these claims, find out for himself and for Cassie’s peace of mind on whether Cardozo’s claims were the truth. If not, he will let the world know of Cardozo’s lies and prove his mentor’s innocence.

However, when the news about Rosemary Road came out, all pretenses of politeness finally melted away from his mask and Nocturne basically declared war against Cardozo calling her a despicable person who had done so much disgusting things that it wouldn’t be surprising if they found out that she made that sexual harassment allegations in order to give her a better chance at taking Adrian’s place on the company as its new CEO.

Miz responded with a mocking, passive-aggressive post that called him a delusional conspiracy theorist and may or may not have peppered in some subtle/not so subtle threats at the end of his section in her answering post to his and Cassie’s callout posts.

Needless to say, I really wouldn’t recommend leaving these two alone together in one room as they might as well start ripping each other to shreds.

Montauk

Nocturne interned in Montauk during his last year in highschool and while he was studying in UCLA. During his time there, he must have shown a lot of promise to have captured Adrian Carter’s attention and satisfied his expectations along with maintaining an amicable relationship with the man to the point that he allowed him to work with him on RedMan.

However, as the years passed by, notably after Adrian’s death, the relationship between the corporation and this man must have soured enough due to Nocturne’s own digging into the company’s dirty secrets that he whistleblowed on the company’s shady dealings. Was the issue that he blew the whistle on the dubious experiments that caused the deaths of so many people? Perhaps that’s another thing to ask him in the future too.

Cabbage Girl

One day, during the summer of 2015, Nocturne burst into his mentor’s office without knocking in order to tell him about his progress on his tasks and met the daughter of Montauk in a humorous way that the head of the massive corporation introduced his daughter to him and created the birth of the fondly remembered inside joke slash nickname “Cabbage”.

Nocturne and Cassie are obviously close as they are both cohabiting together and are actually in a romantic relationship with one another. The man obviously adores Cassie, his dorky little love letter praising her and telling her how much he loves her in his blog is already evidence enough as it provided a glimpse into the man’s softer side that I believe is generally reserved for his cat, Cassie, and their friends. He’s also really protective of her which is rather cute, in my opinion. He’s been really supportive of her over the past years since her father’s death and you could see it or rather hear it in the way Cassie would often pepper in (heh) mentions of him during her stories over the months.

However, it does make one wonder if they both think that it’s just the two of them against the world as nobody or almost nobody is taking their side that Adrian Carter is innocent of the accusation that Cardozo threw at him after his death. From what I saw, the world even condemned Cassie for not ‘cancelling’ her father.

Thankfully, they are both acting as each other’s support system in their trying times and from what I observed in the tiny peeks into their interactions with each other in Cassie’s entries and Nocturne’s journals, they trust the other to drag them out of their own heads when they get in too deep in their own thoughts to the point that they were shutting the world out. I’m just glad that they’re not alone right now as what they are attempting to do would be nigh impossible without anyone they could trust backing them.

Investigations and Seeking the Truth

Nocturne seems to have taken it upon himself to investigate a hell lot of things in his quest for the truth. The Cardozo-Lawrence case, Cardozo’s Relationship with Adrian Carter, the thing with Rosemary Road, Montauk Stuff, Continuing Adrian Carter’s Research and Projects, and it seems he’s beginning to delve into investigating the Bureau of Unreality and how they seem to be innately connected to Cardozo and Montauk and the Rosemary Road case.

All I can say is… My dude, my man, you need to learn how to delegate this shit to others.

(Bold words coming from someone who’s also doing the same thing. Jesus fucking Christ, Robin… What on earth are you doing?)

No wonder he’s having a hard time seeing the forest making up the trees when he’s trying to take in so much information as much as he can. I can’t exactly blame him since I’m not any better but seriously… This is just one massive way to burn ourselves out easily. Anyway—

It appears that for every information that he gets, he also receives fifty more questions which would understandably be very frustrating for him and it doesn’t help that since this is something that could bring quite the dirt into light, a lot of people and organizations are trying to prevent him from being able to dig in too deep and sink his teeth into actually helpful information rather than being led away into another possible dead end via crumbs for intel which would equal to a lot of time lost which could have been used for actual progression in the investigation.

I would suggest finding someone they could trust in order to help them with the investigation but how would you even know if somebody is trustworthy when it seems like the entire universe is completely against you finding the truth?

How would one be assured that the person whom they dragged in to help would also fall for the same trap of getting stuck in the minimal details to the point that they start seeing and hunting for monsters and lies in the dark? Especially when you, yourself, are starting to fall for the same trick?

Honestly? I don’t know if any of us would have an actual answer to that question. You could go the path of the more people to help with the search for the truth, the better, but then wouldn’t that just run the risk of all of us suffering from a horrid game of Telephone? It’s just such a high risk thing.

Either way, it seems that Nocturne’s investigation did at least yield some intel as word about his determination to find out what the actual fuck is happening in the world is getting around and people have started giving him leads that did bear some fruit even if it also created more questions.

Your Cat Pictures… Give It To Me.

Oh.

Nocturne also has a cat baby named Truant and I want a picture of him, damn it!

Somebody stop me from spamming the shit out of the poor man’s blog with begs for serotonin shots.

[commandervisor]

Since you're just about to start vol 7, is there any theories you have going forward? Is there something you really want to see happend? Have you been spoiled for anything?

Putting this under a “Read More” because this is just one thing after another… 

Theories? In hindsight after writing all of this, most of it is not the main cast because I guess at the moment, they’re rather well-adjusted and/or recovering from their issues rather well lol, so I can’t make big enough guesses on them right now.

Emerald and maybe Mercury GTFO there, I think being stuck in Salem’s castle with Hazel until whatever goes down in Atlas I guess will 

Emerald becomes a Maiden, my guesses are:

A “redeemed” Cinder thinks of Emerald in her last moments, but it’s kept vague if she was thinking of her because she actually cared about her or because of something completely unrelated to that (ex. “Emerald better have-*gets killed midsentence*”).

Otherwise, Cinder finds out Emerald is now a Maiden and turns against her. Now Emerald has to deal with her mother figure, the woman who saved her life, wanting her dead.

Either way, I think this could lead to her redemption.

Mercury is pretty hard to read, especially after what he said in V6 about why he acts the way he does and how he feels about his relationship with Cinder and Emerald. Tyrian summed him up as just putting up a tough exterior because he doesn’t know anything else, so if something like Emerald going rogue happens, then it’ll be interesting to see how long he’ll keep those barriers up against Emerald.

Cinder “redemption” arc. I don’t know how, but it would constitute showing her backstory (because that infatuation for power and not wanting to be powerless has to come from something, and she’s based on Cinderella, so.). V6 already had Salem basically kicking her out of the house for disobeying her (albeit she’s apparently still keeping an eye on her…), so Cinder left to her own devices could end up doing a lot more loose cannon-y things outside of trying to get revenge on Ruby and this eventually leads into her becoming an anti-villain and something of an anti-hero?

Pyrrha’s and maybe Amber’s souls are actually connected to Cinder, kind of like with Ozpin and Oscar, because 1) Maiden mechanics? and 2) It seems strange to me that back in V3 when they hooked up Pyrrha to Amber in that aura transfer machine, they made a big deal out of how Pyrrha “might not be the same” if the transfer works but then she died anyways so that part seemingly didn’t matter outside of brief angst? At the moment, I don’t know where this would go other than Pyrrha and Amber kind of haunting Cinder like ghosts, maybe this could lead to her “redemption”?

After what happened with Vernal, I don’t know what to make of Winter Schnee and Summer Rose as possible Maidens, but it seems relevant? We’ll just have to wait and see.

Likewise, I don’t really know where Hazel’s arc may go, either they’ll keep him as someone who refuses to move forward and ends up dying a bitter, meaningless life, or he’ll finally realize that and maybe help the heroes against Salem and/or Em & Merc leave Salem (I think him trying to take the blame for Cinder’s failure in V6 was foreshadowing), probably at the cost of his life because I can’t imagine him turning against Salem and managing to walk away alive.

Weiss tearing Jacques a new one, because we got Yang doing that to Raven in V5 and Blake (and Yang) doing it to Adam in V6 too, so I think we’ll continue to see cycles of abuse, hate, spite, and so on get broken from this point on.

And also take Whitley and GTFO there too, it’d be neat to see him unlearn his behavior from being under Jacques this whole time and I guess “redeem” himself… I have no idea who should take him in but he could stay with Maria if she and the group are parting ways in Atlas, it probably wouldn’t be safe for him to tag along with RRAYNBBOW (or however they’re called now lol). I pretty much envision this as what Eh**z said about Azulademption if it had happened in ATLA (”I’m happy.” “Yes, we know you are, Whitley.”).

Tai fighting, because they’ve established him as being retired while Raven and Qrow are still in action, so I think we might see him fight at some point as things come to a head.

Because RWBY is a good show that knows how to properly “subvert expectations”, it is to be expected that a lot of questions and mysteries will get answered (ex. Almost everything about Summer, Raven/The Spring Maiden subplot to come back, probably if a Maiden killing another Maiden actually boosts their power or not, whatever they have to do to teach Salem her lesson, etc.), and there are a lot of endgames they’re likely building up to (ex. Salem is defeated, Oz and Salem reunite and reconcile in the afterlife, Oscar is the last Oz reincarnation because Oz’s quest finally gets a happy ending, the Gods leave Remnant alone, maybe the Grimm disappear from Remnant, etc.).

Things I want to see happen (outside of ships because I think y’all know already lol):

I think this is a victim of the show trying to find its footing early on, which does happen, but I think it would be/have been neat if we got to see Ruby’s friends from Signal at some point (I’m guessing this might be prime self-insert OC material) or at least get a glimpse of the “elementary”/”primary” Huntsmen academies, if only because I like worldbuilding/lore and Chekhov’s guns/foreshadowing :P. Though I doubt this will happen since the show is moving in a really different direction from the school setting it had back in V1-V3, which is fine.

Jacques joining Adam in clown hell

STRQ flashbacks, and maybe a TRQ reunion? Again, I can see this as something happening as things come to a head, especially since this would require Raven to kind of turncoat back to the good guys.

EDIT: I would also like to see Goodwitch come back, but I guess that might be a while since we’re focusing on Atlas at the moment and then presumably Vacuo?

Watts shaving his dumb moostash

More anime voice actors, because OH WOW IT’S AMAZING HOW THE ACTING INDUSTRY WORKS, HUH VI? 

I think that’s all I can think of for now… Anything else I usually wonder about is something I bring up in my liveblogs? I think??

Have I been spoiled for anything? Yeah, I guess, but it was because of people rb’ing RWBY on my dash/TL/whatever before I started watching the show, so I didn’t have context and I didn’t think much of any of it beyond that they looked neat. That, plus me having the memory of a goldfish about all of that probably helped… For example, ask me about Homestuck, The Adventure Zone, Critical Role, The Arcana, etc. because I see those on my dash a lot, but I have no idea what they’re about other than maybe some general info and a couple of character names.

That being said, I knew/know about some characters that hadn’t/haven’t shown up yet because that’s pretty hard to avoid (at the beginning, I only really knew RWBYJNPR, Sun, Penny, and also Ozpin, Qrow, and Summer but pretty much in name only; back when V7 started, I did notice a lot of popularity with certain characters from that volume), and some things I did know like someone being able to turn into a bird (when the Faunus lore got introduced, I thought this was going to be a Faunus power lol*), Blake was or was not a cat-person, Summer being gone, Bumbleby being the ship, and maybe more that I can’t remember at the moment.

* …“What I expected vs. What I got: RWBY Edition” is probably something that warrants its own post. Hmm…

It’s 3 AM and this is a huge garbled mess, but as you might guess, I’m really invested in RWBY right now and it’s fun wondering where they’ll take the story next. This is quality.

[snark-sass]

No I'm not dating him, I want to marry you -FIC

Read on aO3 here!

Fluffy fic in which Spock wants to ask Kirk to be his bondmate (even though they’re not dating), goes to McCoy for help, and Jim somehow think’s Spock and mcCoy are dating.

Spirk fic with a happy ending! 6k (I imagined TOS when writing but would fit into either)

Spock stood outside of Captain Kirk’s door.

Spock would say, that were he human, the disequilibrium he was experiencing would be called ‘nerves’. It was fortunate that he was in fact Vulcan, and he understood the reaction his body was autonomously having was the ever logical one of ‘fight or flight’. It was after all, advantageous for one’s body to prepare itself in times of stress, or in this case anticipated stress, in order to best ensure survival.

However, what was less logical was the fact that this response had been triggered by Spock simply standing in front of the Captain’s door, preparing for a conversation. Not a fight, not anything else that this response would aid in, but a conversation.

They were 3.72 years into their 5 year mission when Spock had decided that he would, after much consideration, speak to Jim about becoming bondmates. It was, after all, logical.

Had they been courting? Well, not explicitly in the sense the one of them had asked the other if they would like to advance their relationship to that of a romantic one. But, they had been spending copious amounts of time together, eating meals together, partaking in leisure activities together, and even spending shore leave in each other’s company. Yes, Jim had even convinced Spock to actually use some of his leave. They did all of this not because they were obligated as a command team, but for the pleasure of being with one another. Spock doubted that any verbal declarations would have changed the amount of time spent together.

They had gained intimate knowledge of each other’s lives, goals, preferences, and everything else one would when courting.

More importantly though, they had extraordinarily compatible minds.

Spock had known this since he had melded with Jim in Janice Lester’s body. It was the deepest meld Jim and him had ever participated in. Had the situation not been dire, Spock would have extended it just to keep feeling the rightness and belonging that the meld had woven into its very core.

Was it unfortunate that such a beautiful meeting of minds happened under such circumstances? Yes. Did it change the face that Spock wanted to be one with that mid forever? Not at all.

He held this knowledge in his mind even as his hands began to perspire. It truly was fascinating, if not inconvenient at times, what the body could be capable of even under the misconception of threat.

Spock reminded himself that the chance of threat behind that door, barring any unusual circumstances, was practically non-existent. Well, physical danger at least. There was always the risk to the social, personal and professional aspects of his life. Losing one of his closest friends, having charges filed against him for harassment, those types of things.

No big deal.

Spock was aware that humans completely different standards when it came to relationships, and devoting themselves to one another. What exactly they were however? Unknown. His research on the matter had been conflicting and inconclusive at best. Given his lack of first-hand experience on top of this, he was left with the novel feeling of feeling underprepared.

This unknown factor is what Spock concluded to the cause of his state. Unfortunately, there were not specific research papers on Jim. If so, they would have been far more useful than the perplexing papers he had read, he reflected.

Then it occurred to him; he could seek advice specifically about Jim. Not from research databases, but from interviewing someone who would know.

Spock was hesitant to make his goals known, however. He did not wish it to become common knowledge lest he be subjected to increased amounts of interpersonal conversations, or he dreaded to think, widespread pity if it did not work out.

No, he would keep it to as few people as possible to minimise this risk

.

Given the parameters, the choice was obvious. He would consult Dr. McCoy on the matter and determine the best method to ask the Captain the be his bondmate. By his currently calculations, they could be bondmates in no more than 14 days due to their high compatibility, even factoring in extra time for Jim’s human needs.

Yes, he thought, noticing his body’s response already calming as he turned away from Jim’s door and towards sickbay, this is the optimal course of action.

Perhaps they may even be able to bond sooner based on the Doctor’s advice.

 *---*---*

Dr McCoy looked up from the paperwork he was working on in an otherwise deserted med bay as Spock walked in.

“Spock,” he smiled up at him “What brings you to my medbay at this time of night? Last I heard, even Vulcans need to sleep sometimes.” He looked Spock up and down and frowned “In fact, I’d bet good credits you’ve never voluntarily come down here at this time of night. You’re not dying again are you?” he asked narrowing his eyes slightly.

 Spock hesitated for a moment, the same feelings from earlier returning in a weaker form.

 “I have come to seek advice on a personal matter, Doctor.” Spock replied.

 Now, instead of reassuring the Doctor as it should have, Dr McCoy looked alarmed “You are dying, aren’t you!?” He stood up and started trying to usher Spock to a bed “Is it a Vulcan disease? It can’t Ponn Farr again, you’re not due for another six years! Unless it’s your dammed hybrid biology – one half Vulcan in the galaxy and I get them on my ship!” He said rather rapidly, giving up trying to move Spock and pulling out a scanner, running it up and down Spock’s body then and there.

 “Doctor,” Spock interrupted “I am not dying any more than I was at our last check up, where I remind you I was subjected to a high number of unnecessary tests. All of which came back within acceptable levels.” He paused and recentred himself “And I most certainly am not experiencing my time. If I were I assure you, I would be consulting a Vulcan healer about the matter, not relying on your potions.”

 McCoy went and sat back in his chair. “Well don’t you know how to make someone feel warm and fuzzy.” He drawled. “Alright, if you’re not here for a medical reason, what are you here for?”

 Spock contemplated the best wording of his request.

 “I find I am lacking the appropriate courting experience in order to secure a human bondmate.”

 McCoy’s expression didn’t change. In fact he didn’t seem to be moving at all.

 “As a human who has had some past successes when courting, and are familiar with the process involved you are a clear source from which to seek advice.” He paused before adding “I also find myself with… few individuals I am familiar enough with to seek advice about the matter.” Spock finished.

 McCoy blew air out of his mouth. “Well I’ll be, are you saying Mr. Spock that you’ve come to me for advice about emotions? <em>Romantic </em> emotions?” he finished gleefully.

 “I believe that is what I just stated” said Spock, doubting his decision more by the second.

 “So who’s the lucky lady?” McCoy asked, looking far too excited by the turn in conversation for Spock’s liking.

 “I do not believe I stated the person of interest was a woman, Doctor.” Spock replied evenly. “The person in question in fact identifies as male.”

 McCoy looked thoughtful at this “A man huh? Must say, when it comes to men I don’t have a lick of experience Spock. You could try asking Jim thought. I know he has a reputation for a ladies man, but he’s fallen for his share of gentlemen.”

 Spock willed his face to stay neutral.

 “I cannot ask the Captain, as it is him I am here to discuss.”

 “Jim? You want to seduce Jim!?” Now McCoy was shocked. It must be exhausting having so many emotions so quickly considered Spock.

 “My God man, could you have picked a more impossible target?” Asked McCoy. “you know he’d never risk his command by getting involved with someone on the ship.”

 “I am aware of Captain Kirk’s strict adherence the Starfleet regulations in relation to section 3.4. However, relationships are allowed between officers within one rank of each other, meaning that our relationship would not be in any violations.” He stated as though he was insulted McCoy hadn’t thought he’d already considered this, “Originally my plan was to approach Captain Kirk after the conclusion of the mission. However, the mission on Centaris II has made me revaluate this plan. As you humans put it ‘tomorrow is not guaranteed’.”

 McCoy deflated at little at this. Centaris II had been a disaster of a mission, ending with Jim getting shot in the chest with bark by sentient trees. The bark pieces had splintered in his chest, requiring hours of extensive surgery. The Captain had come to dying a few times the following days, and even McCoy wasn’t sure if he’d pull through.

 “I suppose that’s even truer on this death trap of a tin can.” McCoy said “Fine, I’ll help you on your fool’s quest. God knows anyone who has a chance at happiness should take it. And Jim, well if anything these last few years have shown it’s that his heart is yearning something awful. You sure you’re up to filling it?”

 This conversation was going quite differently than Spock had anticipated, but McCoy was Jim’s friend he reminded himself. It would be more unusual if he wasn’t concerned for his wellbeing. He had also agreed to help Spock reminded himself. Going through one, albeit greatly uncomfortable, conversation with McCoy was surely a small price to pay for the benefit he would gain.

 “Doctor, I believe that Jim and I would complete each other wholly, incomparably, and for a lifetime. I would not be pursuing him, potentially jeopardising a relationship I value, and a career I have spent years building, otherwise.” He pointed out.

 “Why, that was almost romantic.” teased McCoy, “So tell me, what have you got so far?”

 “‘Got’?“ asked Spock.

 “What have you thought of so far for wooing our Captain?” Asked McCoy.

 “My current plan is simple: I will approach the Captain while he is unaccompanied in his Cabin, advise him that our minds are highly compatible, and suggest we bond at his earliest convenience. I will then of course tell him that I am amendable to a human ceremony of his choosing should he wish to have one.” Spock felt that his agreement to a human celebration particularly demonstrated his dedication and forethought that had gone into his plan, and acknowledgment of Jim’s potential needs as a human.

 Yes, he would be an excellent spouse to Jim, he was sure.

 McCoy responded to his plan by placing his face in his hands.

 “I hope you’ve got nothing on anytime soon, we’ve got a lot of work to. Now where did I put that Surian Brandy…”

   *---*---*

 Spock left well into the Enterprise’s ‘night’, much later than he anticipated. True to McCoy’s word, they indeed had covered a lot. Not only about Jim, but about human courtship norms in general.

 Spock was grateful that he had chosen to speak to McCoy, given that according to McCoy his original plan would have ‘given Jim a heart attack’ with shock.

The new plan that Spock and McCoy had agreed on was that Spock would subtly show his interest in a relationship with Jim, ensure this interest was reciprocated, then ask him on a ‘date’.

 Then the doctor had given Spock most unpleasant advice: he suggested that they date for a year before proposing bonding. At least a whole standard year.

 He hadn’t changed his opinion even though Spock had explained that Vulcans were able to know within days if someone would make a satisfactory bondmate, and that it was not uncommon for less than a week’s notice before a ceremony.

 McCoy had laughed so hard about ‘calling humans emotional when Vulcans get married in less than a week!’ that Spock briefly worried about the amount of oxygen he was getting.

 McCoy had pointed out that Jim was not Vulcan, so it was not logical to use Vulcan standards.

 Still, Spock privately thought that he could at least consider asking Jim in half of that time, but decided the Doctor did not need to know that small fact. He did not wish to be subjected to another lecture; Dr McCoy had a surprisingly unyielding view on the matter.

 Spock turned the last corner into the hallway containing his quarters, only to see the object of his desire exiting his room donned in nothing but his red workout pants and a white t-shirt. Spock briefly wondered who had approved those pants as appropriate to be regulation. Clearly they had not anticipated how Captain J. T. Kirk would obscenely fill them when they had, nor the effect on his first officer.

 “Spock!” said the Captain, clearly not expecting to see him “Fancy seeing you here at this hour. Aren’t having any trouble sleeping are you?” he smiled empathetically.

 “Negative Sir, as Vulcans require less sleep that humans I will have sufficient time to rest before Alpha shift tomorrow.” Spock stated.

 Remembering what McCoy had explained about using compliments to express one’s interest, Spock followed with “Your dedication to your on-going fitness is commendable, Captain.”

 Jim laughed as though Spock had told a joke.

 “Thank you Mr. Spock, but I’m afraid my dedication does not usually extend to working out at one o’clock in the morning.”

 “I assume that is why you are going at 1:18am instead.” Spock stated, tilting his head slightly so Jim would know he wasn’t serious.

 This resulted in another small laugh from Jim.

 “I’m glad you understand.” Jim was looking at him with a small smile, his eyes crinkling as he looked up at him.

 Spock noted with some pride that Jim smiled when talking to Spock at a 23% higher frequency on average than he did when speaking with other officers. Another reason their bonding would be logical.

 “Say, since we’re both up how about a few rounds on the mats? Maybe this time I’ll manage to get at least one pin.” Jim teased.

 “The odds are not absolute 0.” teased Spock back, “Regretfully, I have just finished a rather long meeting with Dr. McCoy and require both mediation and sleep before my next shift in order to preform at peak efficiency.”

 Jim’s smile had now been replaced with a frown. “A meeting at this hour? Is everything ok Spock?”

 Spock was quick to reassure him “I am of optimal health Captain, the encounter was personal between myself and Dr McCoy.”

 Jim did not seem reassured by this. In fact, his face now had a peculiar expression that Spock did not know how to characterise.

 “You… and Bones?” he asked slowly, as though trying to solve an equation with only half the data. “I uh, didn’t realise the two of you had gotten that close.”

 Spock thought about the time spent speaking with McCoy. It was the longest they had ever spent in each other’s company without any third parties. The Doctor had been uncharacteristically patient towards Spock, and even shared some of his own history that Spock was certain one would not share with anyone but a particularly close friend.

 “Tonight was a notable change in our relationship, yes.” Spock said after a few seconds of thought.

 “Right.” Said Jim in an odd tone “Good. You and the good Doctor, that’s good.” He blinked at Spock “I’m surprised but happy. Happy for you both!” he said the last bit considerably too loudly given their respective distance and the relative silence of the hall.

 Spock was growing more concerned for the Captain by the second.

 “Are you alright, Jim? I believe Doctor McCoy is still awake if you require him.”

 Jim took a second before he seemed to shake himself out of his strange behaviour.

 He gave Spock a smile that this time Spock did know how to characterise; it was one that Jim gave to diplomats he wasn’t quite sure how to deal with. It was the first time Spock had been on the receiving end, and he was finding it disconcerting.

 “Great idea, I think I will go check in with Bones.” He stepped to the side to pass Spock “I’ll see you on the bridge tomorrow. Sleep well, Commander.”

 “Goodnight, Captain.” Spock replied as Jim walked away.

 Spock continued his journey to his quarters, the conversation adding more to his list to mediate on. He hoped after speaking with McCoy, Jim would get adequate rest before alpha shift. It would not do for him to act like this on shift.

 *---*---*

 Hours later, Spock could only conclude that Jim had not in fact gotten sufficient rest the night before.

 It was the most likely explanation he could think of to explain the captain’s peculiar behaviour during Alpha shift.

 Jim had varied between staring at Spock for a 21.67% longer duration than normal, yet resolutely not looking at towards Spock at a 35.43% lower frequency than on average. Why Jim was looking at Spock longer but less often, he could not surmise. Further, when Dr McCoy had come to the bridge he had been downright antsy when talking to him. Overall, Jim’s behaviour had been well outside of normal levels of deviation.

 After the shift had ended, rather than waiting for Spock and going to lunch together, he had insisted on Spock going ahead while he ‘discussed these readings with Chekov’ even though Ensign Chekov had told him about the readings only 42 minutes earlier. The notably insignificant readings.

 So here Spock was, trying to find an empty table to eat lunch alone for the first time in over a year.

 Speaking of unusual, McCoy seemed to have arrived earlier to lunch than Spock for once, and was already sitting at an empty table. He waved Spock over, and Spock slid onto the bench across from him.

 “Just the Vulcan I wanted to see!” McCoy said in lieu of a proper greeting “You’re going to happy when I tell you what your great pal Leonard did last night!” The Doctor himself did not necessarily look happy, but perhaps he was scowling less than normal when Spock looked closer. That was about equivalent to a smile for him Spock supposed.

 “As I have reminded you repeatedly, ‘happiness’ is a human emotion, and I am Vulcan. Perhaps you should consider getting your memory tested, lest it affects your work.” Spock raised an eyebrow a little.

 “My memories not the problem there. Anyway,” he said, waving his sandwich alarmingly close to his hair “What I was going to tell you was that after our little chat last night, Jim came and saw me. I was the best wingman you’d ever seen.” He triumphantly took a bite of his wayward sandwich at that declaration.

 “‘Wingman’?” enquired Spock.

 McCoy shot him a suffering look “I talked you up to Jim.”

 This Spock understood, although he tried not to look too interested in what McCoy was saying, feeling a lightness rising in his chest.

 “Indeed?” he asked, “Do you consider you were successful?” he leaned forward slightly in order to hear better, as the mess was slightly too loud for optimal hearing.

 Obviously that was the reason, it was not because he was eager to hear more. Not at all.

 McCoy chose to believe he was eager nevertheless, judging by him looking smugger by the moment.

 “Was I successful? By the end Jim was saying that any man would be lucky to have you. Even started bringing his own compliments to the table.” McCoy leaned back in his chair having reached peak smugness levels.

 Spock’s heart rate had increased fractionally. Gaining McCoy as an ally was having better results than he had anticipated, Jim would be his bondmate before the year was up, he was sure of it.

 “I reckon you’re in.” McCoy went on “Now do me a favour and ask him to dinner so I can get my damn nose out of your love life."

 “Based on last evening I was under the impression you were enjoying ‘having your nose’ in my love life?” Spock teased smoothly.

 “I’m uh, not interrupting, am I?” asked Jim in a joking voice having finally arrived for lunch. He had yet to sit down at the mostly empty table.

 McCoy looked between them “I was just leaving, Jim” McCoy picked up his empty tray “He’s all yours.” McCoy clapped Jim on the shoulder as he left, ignoring Jim’s lips thinning minutely at his parting remark.

 Spock noticed McCoy shooting him what humans would refer to as a ‘significant look’ as Jim was sliding into the now vacant seat. When Spock didn’t acknowledge him, he clearly mouthed ‘ask him!’ and obviously pointed at Jim.

 Humans were unobservant, Spock reminded himself, it was highly unlikely that anyone had noticed. Even if he was now getting a few curious looks thrown his way. Why had he thought seeking out Dr. McCoy would be valuable, again? Clearly his fight or flight reaction had impacted his thoughts at the time.

 “So, are you and the good Doctor…?” Jim said after poking his food a few times, without actually eating it.

 When it became clear that Jim was not going to finish his sentence Spock asked “What about the Doctor and I, Captain?”

 “It’s just still surprising is all. You, him, together.” Jim was staring hard at his untouched food seemingly finding it very interesting.

 Jim’s words were not making sense. While McCoy and Spock might not spend as much time together as Spock and Jim did, it was surely wasn’t that unorthodox that it warranted commentary. They were after all friends. Surely it was not usual for friends to eat meals together? Even if McCoy did only usually joined them around the end of meal time, and almost never the start.

 “I fail to see what is surprising.” Spock said.

Jim actually blushed “I suppose you wouldn’t. If anyone heard the way he was speaking about you last night, I doubt they would be surprised either. I don’t think I’ve ever heard Bones speak so highly of anyone.” He finally looked up at Spock, through his eyes only visible through his eyelashes “Not that it was undeserved, of course”.

 How could Spock had been worried that Jim would reject him outright last night? Even if he wasn’t interested in Spock romantically there was no reason to assume he would scorn Spock, or humiliate him by spreading the news throughout the ship. At the very least, Jim was a kind man.

 “I’m glad you think so, Jim.” Spock softened his look in return “Perhaps if you are amendable we could have dinner followed by a game of chess? It has been 4 days since our last match. Unless of course your last three losses has gotten you to admit defeat?”

 Jim was fully looking up now, looking at Spock with eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiled. He huffed out a small amount of air in what Spock recognised as a sign of amusement. “Not a chance Mister, how about I come around at 18:00 when I’m finished in engineering?”

 “That would be acceptable.” Replied Spock, not breaking eye contact.

 They continued to hold each other’s gaze for a few more seconds, until the moment was broken by a loud laugh from a nearby table.

 Jim blinked to himself before frowning down at the table.

 “I just remembered I’ve got some reports that need finishing before I’m due in engineering. I’ll see you tonight, Spock.” At that Jim took his tray and made a hasty exit.

 “Until tonight.” Said Spock quietly, watching Jim go.

 *---*---*

 At 17:55 Spock was observing his quarters quite proudly.

 McCoy had told Spock that, candles, low lights and soft music were often used to ‘set the mood’ for Terran dates. Given Starfleet’s ban on open flames on space vessels, displaying candles was not possible. Instead, Spock had opted to use some of his more potent smelling incense, in order to create a pleasant scent throughout the cabin. The lights had been set to a low 15%, giving the cabin an intimate feel. The low light allowed for the starlight to shine through the port window, casting large ever-changing shadows from all the furniture onto the green carpet. Jim often commented on his affection for the stars, he was sure to appreciate that. Lastly, to finish the scene, Spock had put on some music. The only music he had available was Vulcan Lyre music, which played half a piece, with which he would practice duets with. Despite being slightly disjointed alone, Spock felt the overall effect to the ‘mood’ was given.

 Yes, he had indeed created a prime setting for courting Jim. His human courting skills were progressing quite nicely in such a short time.

 At 17:57 the door chimed, signalling someone requesting entry. There was only one person it was likely to be. Spock took a deep breath, readying himself for the evening to come.

 “Open.”

 Sure enough, there was Jim. He looked like he did for all their chess matches; dressed still in his command uniform, yet with his posture more relaxed then when in public. Still, looking at him Spock felt that something was… off. He looked relaxed, but although he was determined to be rather than naturally being so.

 He also had brought a bottle of wine, which was markedly different from any previous matches. Usually, Jim only drank alcohol in the presence of Dr. McCoy or Lieutenant Scott. Seldom did he drink alcohol in Spock’s presence, and certainly he had never brought any when they were due to socialise alone.

Spock took this as a positive sign.

 “I apologise for being slightly early Spock, I can come back after you’ve finished meditating if you’d like.” He offered, taking in the room. He stepped forward enough to allow the door to close “I must admit, I’ve never noticed just how strong Vulcan’s liked their incense until now.”

 “Is it... displeasing?” Spock was now feeling less confident than before.

 “A touch too strong for my human nose I’m afraid.” Jim said chuckling.

 “Ah,” said Spock heading to extinguish them “I will keep that in mind for future, Captain.”

 Jim chuckled “ ‘Captain?’ it’s been a while since you’ve called me that in private.” Spock couldn’t see Jim, but he could practically visualise the soft smile that would follow such a statement.

 “It reminds me of the early days, before we really got to know one another. Seems like so long ago now.” Spock heard him pacing around the room.

 “Say, would you mind if I turned up the lights a bit? I doubt I’ll be able to see the board properly in this light. Unless, of course that is your plan to ensure a victory.” He finished lightly.

 “Of course, Jim. I am not the one who needs an advantage, after all.”

 “Oh, you’ll be regretting those words by the end of our first game!” Jim said playfully, heading towards the table while ordering the lights to 75%.

 As the lighting slowly increased, Spock observed that the ‘mood’ no longer seemed significantly different from any other night. At least the music seemed to be acceptable.

 For now.

 “Wine?” queried Jim.

 Spock heard the clinking of glasses form the small kitchenette his quarters were equipped with, indicating Jim was already pulling out more than one glass.

“Perhaps one glass.” responded Spock, more for Jim’s sake than any actual desire on his part.

 Incense all finally extinguished, Spock stood and headed to the edge of the kitchen area while Jim poured a generous portion of wine. A really generous portion.

 “I thought that we could celebrate,” said Jim passing Spock a less generously filled glass, “I will admit, I was quite stunned at first by the news,” he smiled in a way that did not quite reach his eyes “But you and Bones are my closest friends. If being in a relationship is what makes you happy then I couldn’t be happier for you both.” He raised his glass. “To a long and happy relationship!”

 Spock’s glass did not move an inch from where he had grasped it initially.

 In fact, Spock’s whole body was doing a rather impressive imitation of a statue. This was in direct contrast to his internal thoughts, which were going a mile a minute trying to work out what exactly was happening.

 When Spock had imagined possible scenarios of tonight, this had not even been close to one of them.

 “Spock?” asked Jim. He seemed very concerned. Very concerned for McCoy’s boyfriend.

 “You believe that myself and Dr. McCoy are engaged in a romantic relationship?” Spock asked at a 18.4% slower speed than normal.

 Jim still looked sheepish “I know neither of you have officially announced anything yet, and that it’s still very new,” said Jim “But I just…” he looked at his wine as though it held the answers to what he was trying to say “You’re important to me Spock. You both are.” He added the last part quickly “and even though…” he stopped again “If Bones is who you want, then I will do everything I can to be a good friend and support you.” He had a determine look on his face, one Spock had seen many times before particularly unpleasant activities in missions.

 And it was now being used in reference to Spock’s love life.

 How could this have all gotten misinterpreted so badly? Of course Jim wasn’t interested in Spock, if not he wouldn’t be so clearly supporting him in his fictional romance with McCoy. Clearly he viewed Spock with nothing but friendship. Deep friendship, yes, but clearly also platonic friendship.

 It was Terran courting Spock was sure. Its unclear, ambiguous, and unreasonably time-consuming ways had led to this moment. No, the Terran approach were not the solution.

 “Dr McCoy and I are not in a romantic or physically intimate relationship.” Informed Spock, shifting into what would be parade rest if not for the wine he was still holding.

 Jim blinked “You’re not?”

 “No,” Spock continued “I approached him to get his advice on Terran courting practices. Given his familiarity with them and human emotions, I concluded that he may be of assistance. It appears I was incorrect.” The feelings that had started this whole mess were starting to reappear.

Only this time, Spock chose fight.

 “Jim,” he placed his glass down facing Jim fully, noting Jim follow suit, “Over the past 3.76 years our personal and professional relationship has grown profoundly. This growth has been due to our mutual respect for one another, our mutual interests and goals, and highly compatible personalities.”

 “Oh my God.” Said Jim looking at Spock with wonder.

 “This, as well as our remarkably high mental compatibility, leads to me to conclude that we would be ideal mates for each other.”

 “Oh my God.” Said Jim slightly louder this time, eyes still not leaving Spock.

 “I understand as a human, physical compatibility is also of great importance, and I assure you there I have considered this and in addition to your other attributes I find you to be extremely aesthetically pleasing. I would quite enjoy engaging in intimate, physical activities with you.”

 “<em>Spock</em>.” Jim choked out, looking at him with wide eyes and pink cheeks.

 “I wish to bond with you at your earliest convenience, however I also recognised that humans need more time than Vulcans before committing to another permanently. In light of this, I ask you to consider ‘dating’ me so I may have the chance to convince you of our compatibility, and of my esteem for you.” Spock finished.

 There. It was done. He had laid out his points, logically yet while still acknowledging Jim’s different needs as a human. He was very glad no one else was here to hear his blatant emotionalism at the end of his speech.

 “What is your reply, Jim?” asked Spock after 43.3 seconds. Surely this was more than enough time to concede to the logic of his statements?

 “I think I need to sit down” was Jim’s reply, going to the small couch close by and sinking down. After a few seconds, he moved to place his right leg over his left, and his arm so his chin was supported by one hand. A tell-tale pose for when the captain was thinking deeply on the bridge.

 Perhaps not enough time then.

 Spock carefully sat down on the other end of the couch and waited.

Jim opened his mouth several times in the succeeding minutes as though he was going to speak, before changing his mind. On the sixth time of such occurrence he finally settled on asking “You want to marry me?”

 “Yes.” Said Spock

 “You think it would be logical to marry me?” asked Jim again.

 “Yes.” Said Spock again, wondering how many times he was going to have to confirm information he had said less than 5 minutes ago.

 “That’s great… great.” Said Jim slowly, moving both hands to his chin.

 Despite his words, it did not sound ‘great’ felt Spock.

 Jim turned so his whole body was facing towards Spock, uncrossing his legs and leaning forwards.

 “Spock, you’re proposing marriage between us, yet you seem to be missing one very important factor: love.”

 He leaned even closer. Spock could see the smaller flecks of green and gold in his eyes, and the starlight reflecting from the window. He could smell the wine on his breath, and also a small hint of something pleasant that must come from Jim himself.

Spock swallowed.

 “Your points are logical as always Spock, but do you love me?” asked Jim softly.

 Jim’s face was very close, his stare was intense. Spock tilted his head as he considered the question.

 Had anyone else been asking, his response would be to reply that it was well known Vulcans do not love. But Spock would not lie to Jim, not about something so obviously important to him.

Did he love Jim? There was no one else he was closer to on the Enterprise, or off it for that matter. He had changed his schedule to allow for more time in each other’s presence, he enjoyed their time together and even looked forward to it. Even if they were simply completing their own work in the same space, it still filled Spock with a sense of contentedness. Jim made an effort to take Spock’s Vulcan heritage into account, yet Spock never felt he was being judged as too human, nor too Vulcan around Jim. He was accepted, just as he was. He felt relaxed around Jim, a feeling of satisfaction even. When a mission, or an experiment went wrong he realised he sought out Jim’s company.

He thought about waking up next to Jim, seeing his eyes soften as he smiled at Spock. The image alone filled Spock with warmth. Perhaps Jim would hold up two fingers, which Spock would respond with his own; their fingers would kiss, and their minds would sing to each other with unity, with fondness, with lo-

 Oh.

 “Yes.” Said Spock now realising how true it was “Yes, I do, Jim.”

 Spock braced himself. The ball was in Jim’s court, as his mother would say.

 Jim leaned back a short distance. “Did you know Spock, the except for your biological time, I didn’t even think that you could feel for someone like that?” he asked.

Spock summised this was rhetorical when he continued speaking before he could reply.

 “Then I spoke to Bones,” said Jim, “and he told me about how thoughtful you were, how generous you were, how romantic you were. And it hit me: dating you, being with you, being allowed to love you every day, that would be the most amazing thing anyone could ask for. I felt like kicking myself because I thought I had missed my chance!”

 Jim picked up Spock’s hand and held it between his own.

 “Going from that to you telling me that you want to marry me is quite the leap.”

Spock was glad he had the contact, in contrast to Jim’s words he could pick up feelings of happiness, and hope, emotions that were mirroring his.

 Jim moved closer, so that their noses were practically touching.

 Spock heard him chuckle lowly, “When have you ever known me not to risk leaping, Mr. Spock?”

 “Never.” Whispered Spock, breathing a puff of air against Jim’s lips.

 Jim slipped his eyes close, closing the space between them.

 Spock had not experienced many human-style kisses, but this was by the best by far. There was no disregard for Spock’s wants, or madness behind it. Jim kissed him as though he had all the time in the world. As though Spock was beloved, and Jim was using his lips to softly explain to him just how much. Spock knew he was inexperienced in this kind of affection, but he hoped Jim understood that he was trying to show him how cherished Jim was in return.

 The message must have gotten through somehow, because when they parted Jim placed his forehead against Spock’s, keeping his eyes closed. His smile was small, intimate. It was beautiful.

 Eventually Jim opened his eyes and looked at Spock, the smile never leaving his face.

 “You know, I’m not sure what you’ve heard, but it takes at least 3 dates before I agree to marry someone.” He said, eyes twinkling.

 “Indeed?” replied Spock, allowing his mouth to soften into a small smile in return, “By Dr. McCoy’s description of a ‘date’ we have been on approximately 237 by my count.”

 Jim brought Spock’s hand up to his mouth kissing his knuckles “Is that right?” he said as Spock’s breath hitched “Well, it seems we’re behind on a few 3rd date milestones then.”

 Oh yes, Jim was indeed a logical bondmate. Spock’s logical bondmate.

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

alright alright alright it’s long overdue, but here’s my “Angel returns” theory from way back when her actress posted an image of her on twitter.

tl;dr: Angel is back and we see her getting digistructed in the dev trailer in the giant electricity machine thing

There’s some Commander Lilith spoilers below (main story and side quests) so if you haven’t beaten the whole dlc yet, don’t read!!

Alright so this obviously was kickstarted by the Sirentology quest lol 

I didn’t wanna say anything above the cut about that cause that’d be a dick move

let’s start with the thing I first noticed as soon as I walked into the prototype chamber!

ahahhaha yeah.

and if you’ve been following me since I replayed tales, then you might see where this is going

we see something similar here

this is from TFTBL, in the biodome where you find one of Gortys’s pieces (chassis? i don’t remember lol. the big ring one). It’s holding it up, like it’s being suspended in the air. I imagine this is the same technology Jack used to build Control Core Angel, keeping Angel suspended above the Vault Key. So this was built by Atlas, just keep that in mind, I’ll bring it back in a second.

You can see when Jack brings Lilith to the Vault itself, it keeps her stuck in the air, charging the Key

so obviously jack needed to improvise because he wasn’t about to bring Angel to the Vault with him, he wanted to wait until the key was fully charged.

I think Angel definitely got a little bit of leeway compared to Lily, though. I also think, since we don’t see any wires, the Vault key is sorta pulling the Eridium through Angel to process it and absorb it? and the thing above her is a pump/shield generator/suspension. As i understand it, in the new dlc we’ve seen Lilith actually flying with her wings in the final battle, and I do think Angel is using hers to move around (above), but I do think the Vault Key/machine thing is holding her suspended in the air. 

Anyway, the reason I’m bringing all this up is because of how Tannis acts in this DLC. @humphreyhornbeam commented on one of my interview posts with a great point and that is that “[Tannis] may or may not have blueprints and/or information that Jack used to create the Siren Collars and she may be the only one alive that has this info”. Which, oh fuck

Lemme point out some lines that are very suspicious from her just to let that sink in for a bit

we know Tannis has been studying Lilith for some time now, since the Assassinate the Assassins quest, and she has apparently dubbed such studies as “Sirentology”, hence the name of the quest.

so she wants to know exactly where Siren powers come from and how they act/appear over time (Understandably, we’ve seen Lilith’s exposure to Eridium allowed her to start teleporting)

we end up sending her the data through a console hooked up to the chamber

we don’t exactly get a choice.

normal reused console from other areas, with a little projection coming out of it (I’ll get to that soon)

Lilith comments this:

which… y’know… “she could have been so much more”. im not saying the devs are regretting killing Angel, but… that very well may be foreshadowing. Yeah, I’m getting there.

and Tannis is pleased (don’t think she quite cares about Angel).

so… i imagine Tannis is going to have some sorta hold on the story in the next game (”Tannis is not what she seems” is still relevant). Interviews have already confirmed this next game is focusing HARD on Sirens. This quest was 100% put in because of that. There’s no way they’d throw this in otherwise, it doesn’t make sense. 

This entire DLC was the devs’ way of ensuring we were prepared for bl3, and that means for (7? I’m pretty sure this dlc takes place about a year after the end of bl2) approximately 6 years, Tannis has access to some of the most in-depth Siren information. Ever. Remember, before BL2, Jack was smashed in the face with a Vault symbol and apparently got a shitload of information from it before that. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if he learned some stuff about Sirens through that. He’s even the one who first confirms there are only 6 Sirens in the universe(s) afaik.

so what’s going on here? What’s Tannis going to do with all this information? We don’t really know a lot in regards to what she’s trying to study. As I understand it, she’s mainly focusing on Eridians in general, so her study of Sirens makes sense. We know she had a large stake in what happened to the Vault Key in the DLC (she’s very upset Mordy is just leaving his drinks in it). We know she’s extremely interested in what happened to Typhon Deleon (which I don’t think is coincidence considering what her focus is).

I want to believe she’s trying to use this information to simply discover more about the Eridians. I don’t wanna believe she’s going to use it for evil. Her introduction as a Dahl scientist stranded on Pandora seems super legit, so I can’t see her being of alien origin. I suppose I could see her teaming up with something of alien origin trying to find out where the Eridian homeworld is, since she’s wildly smart and I imagine would have at least 1 or 2 leads (concerning the Vault Symbol on a slab/floor tile we see in her infirmary on Sanc-III). 

Also, I know it is largely assumed the CoV thing is a broadcast from the twins to their cult, but that just… doesn’t make sense to me. I’m gonna go wildly crazy here and suggest that the broadcast wasn’t from the CoV, but instead the Children of the Vault are another entity and the cult picked up the name after hearing said Broadcast. I mean, seriously, do you really think a bunch of crazed lunatics are going to want to call themselves “Children of the Vault” without a larger influence?

HEAR ME OUT.

okay, I do not play battleborn. at all. so idk what the deal is, but looking at videos that show the morse code easter egg shows this

now i did a little looking, not a lot because I am not a fan of battleborn and my disinterest made me terribly bored BUT

this is what i think a “Varelsi” (the enemy faction of Battleborn) portal is SUPPOSED to look like: 

so, you know, there’s a difference. probably the reason it’s called “anomaly”.

And we know the code we get from those anomalies is in morse code

which translates to this (thanks reddit. It’s been 2 years since I upvoted stuff on that post, btw. time sure does fly.)

And y’know, I JUST did a analysis trailer of We are Mayhem, and you know what was in that trailer? Maya’s Phaselock.

let’s take a look at that, shall we?

so we know that Maya’s ability “allows her to lock an enemy in another dimension, preventing the desired target from fighting back for a short while”. Do you see where I’m going with this, yet?

yeah.

Compare the phaselock to the easter egg “anomalies”, they’re both cracks in our dimension, though Maya’s is white, and they’re both cast against a space-like/starry background which I think is our look into the “other dimension” her description mentions.

in fact, let’s look at some other Sirens we know of, more specifically, let’s take a look at Amara’s arms

I think that’s all the same “stuff”. idk what to call it. just… “STUFF”. yeaaaahhhh.

Anyway, this is all a convoluted way for me to say that I think that morse code message we hear is coming from that dimension that Maya can open a rip to. She uses it to imprison people? yeah. Probably the same dimension Lilith can phasewalk through. idk the deal with Amara’s arms but I assume they take their power from that dimension as well. I imagine that dimension is also tied to the Vaults. We know the Traveller “teleports” places, I imagine he’s doing something similar to Lilith: jumping into the other dimension then quickly jumping out. (okay yes i just likened Lilith to Kurt Wagner, whatcha gonna do?).

Consider the idea that Sirens are this dimension’s connection with the other dimension we see within their powers, and that’s where this message is coming from. I think that’s why Sirens can be used to charge the Vault Keys. But wait, there’s more.

(Sorry i totally lost my train of thought, i got SUPER distracted.)

I think Eleseer (the inside of Elpis in TPS) is connected to this dimension as well, or traveled to through this dimension.

the holograms of planets, the stars- I mean the whole thing looks like a giant void, and I get it, the moon is HUGE, but you think at some point you’d see the outside crust or something. You’d think at some point the mines would’ve caused the planet to cave in or something. Fuck, even the Crackening, which we all kinda know was caused by the Eridians, you think that would have shown this GIANT cavern inside the moon.

I think the whole above bit, Tycho’s Ribs, the huge Eridian base thing, is powering a large rift or something into another dimension, the dimension that the TPS VHs drop into on that giant platform with the cutscene and everything. I mean…

COME ON. is all that seriously inside a MOON?

there is even a bubble shield surrounding the platform they get off on, something very similar to the shields Axton has around his turrets. I think that may be to prevent the atmosphere from escaping, anything visiting from getting out, or, possibly, things from getting in. If this actually is somewhere out in space/another dimension, then it would make sense that they’d wanna keep their magical floating future-seeing platform from getting knocked by asteroids or raided by other aliens

Okay, and I know the “planets” all appear as holograms, but look at that galaxy. the nebulas. Those aren’t holograms. 

Eridian writing on the outside ring there? Oh boy bl3 theories here i come. That’s looking very familiar right about now after my We are Mayhem analysis.

cloud/nebula. clearly not a hologram

there’s even a fucking galaxy down here like… Yeah guys I don’t think we’re on Elpis anymore

Even the entrance to the Vault which… y’know isn’t that normal Vault-y shape is a giant hunk of eridium with a huge crack in it. 

and when you touch it, what happens??

You teleport inside, and it even plays the same animation as when Lilith teleports you during the Hunting the Firehawk quest. 

It probably looks less organic than the one in bl2 because this is powered by Eridian machinery, but it’s definitely the same concept- you fade back in all purple and shit

then this asshole shows up out of an actual Vault symbol, which makes me wonder why we traveled all this way and if Vault symbols are actually gateways somewhere and by walking inside one (unlike every other VH), Rhys and Fiona really DID get teleported somewhere

also, a little off-topic but does anyone else think this is what the eridians are gonna look like?

just… the face after u shoot the mask off.

how did i get to this topic…??

oh yeah Tannis LMAO SORRY

Okay POINT BEING

I think that the easter egg message is coming from whatever dimension all of THIS is. If it IS the Eridians, then maybe humans (or the Vault Hunters- the Crimson Raiders?) are the “Children of the Vault” and the Cult took the name because they heard the broadcast. Because as it stands, “Do not open the Vaults” just doesn’t make sense coming from the Calypsos’s perspective. They WANT the Vaults opened. You know who doesn’t? The Eridians.

So the line: “Tannis is not what she seems” then wouldn’t be coming from the CoV, but instead from an outsider watching us. You know… someone getting info to whoever is in that dimension… like the Watcher maybe? Or maybe the Eridians are just watching us in general, like they can see things from their dimension or homeworld or whatever. They had the Elpis Vault that could see the future, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they could see the present anywhere. 

Anyway

TANNIS

I don’t want her to be evil is what I’m trying to say. but you know what? I didn’t even get into the MEAT AND POTATOES of this post yet

here we go

you know this thing? It’s from the dev trailer for bl3. looks pretty similar to the above stuff, doesn’t it? And it’s powered by electricity, because if you watch the tubes get filled up/emptied out in the video. I’m still trying to determine if the footage was reversed or not because the lava (?? I think???) outside the window is falling upwards when it’s playing normally.

So you might be wondering? Why bring this up?

Cause I think it’s possible Tannis has built this using the blueprints she got from Angel’s prototype room. and why is THAT important? 

Well, hear me out.

this is what a digistructer looks like. Imagine 2 of those facing opposite each other, supercharged by electricity

Now we know Tannis has built Digistruct peak to create fake enemies for us, but maybe those don’t last long/aren’t stable enough

and yeah I think you know where I’m going with this

I think it’s possible Tannis has somehow created a machine to digistruct Angel for us.

and you might be wondering

“why the fuck would she do that”

BECAUSE

IF YOU LOOK AT THE CONTROL PANEL WHILE YOU’RE UPLOADING THINGS FOR TANNIS

YOU CAN SEE ANGEL’S FACE APPEAR FOR A SPLIT SECOND

which only ever happened while she was speaking using her powers!!! I don’t even think you actually could “record” that because that’s her using her Siren powers to talk in your brain!! It’s not a part of your ECHO or a tv screen, that’s literally part of her powers

so what if Angel uploaded herself into Helios, then when AI Jack came barging in she had to hide somewhere she wouldn’t be found/overwritten by him

and please tell me if I’m wrong, i’ve been staring at a computer screen all day/night

but that looks like a body to me. You can see the left arm on the right, then a torso, then another arm slightly behind that

even the electric bursts coming out of them create the shape of a body standing there. I can very clearly see the hand/thigh/waist on the bottom and the shoulders/opening to a shirt? on top there

idk lmao. I’m trying my best to explain why her actress would tweet a picture of her with no context and then PIN it to her twitter page

why britanni. whyyy