#self care is doing a character analysis on one of the most hated men in video game history

[rainy-astrology]

BTS RM Birth Chart Analysis

Based on my opinion and observations. Not an expert. May change later.

September 12th, 1994

Seoul, South Korea

Unknown time

☀️♍️🌙♐️

Virgo suns are meticulous, analytical, and logical, which RM is. He's very intelligent and is especially articulate with his words. With a Mercury in Libra, he knows how to phrase his words in order to appeal to others.

Sagittarius moon is open minded and curious, it explains RM's philisophical side. He's obviously a deep thinker who puts a lot of meaning into his works.

He most likely has a Sun square Moon, which can indicate possible issues of inner conflict about his identity. Wants to follow his mind, while also wanting to follow his heart. May feel like he needs to prove himself to others.

Mars in Cancer is in fall. Mars in Cancer can be repressive and unsure how to properly express intense emotion.

Venus in Scorpio is in detriment - Venus is generally soft and calm, while Scorpio is intense and passionate. There can be issues of obsessiveness and possession. However, whatever these natives want, they will pursue it and not give up easily.

Possible rising: Virgo. He's just so Virgo lol. He's tall (I've noticed a lot of Virgo rising men are quite tall) calm, studious, and rational. Also a mixture of clean and messy. I do recall Joon saying he showers a lot (sometimes more than twice a day I think? He does work out and dislikes the sweat) and I also recall Suga talking about how messy Joon was when they still lived together and his disappointment in seeing how clean Joon's apartment was lol...I also have a good feeling that his Pluto is in 3rd house (3rd house placements in general tbh Mercury should be very influential in his chart) Pluto in 3rd is a deep thinker and highly analytical placement. He puts a lot of thought and meanings into his lyrics, always making sure to check they're apropriate first too. Pluto in 3rd can also get their words misunderstood, which seems to happen to RM often - people overanalyze and misunderstand what he says and does and try to paint him in a bad light. He has a lot of power in his words and way of thinking though, he's truly wise and influential. With Pluto being transformation as well, Namjoon has learned and expanded his mind immensely throughout his life...from having questionable beliefs and lyrics to a much more considerate and careful, wiser character is one hell of a growth process.

It would also give Chiron in 1st (if virgo asc is in 1st/2nd decan), which I think makes sense for RM...This placement deals with issues of self esteem, feeling misunderstood, and many matters concerning one's character. Namjoon has been pretty open about his own struggles of depression and going to therapy (not sure if he's still depressed and/or going but I do recall him mentioning both before). A lot of people did insult his looks in the beginning of BTS' careers and overall just disliked him, so I'm sure that took a huge toll on his confidence. Having to carry the responsibilities and burdens of a leader + having constant hate thrown his way for little things and some genuine small mistakes - it's not very surprising he was at his lowest years ago. Chiron in 1st also indicates having a lot of stressful experiences at a young age and he did have to face all this at 19 (still very young imo). I think these heavy feelings can be seen very well in a lot of his solo songs and lyrics. Questioning himself, his character, the feelings of depression and self hatred, etc are expressed clearly in his writing. Chiron in 1st pushes the native to learn confidence and build self-esteem as adults, which RM seems to have improved a lot in. E.g being direct about not apologizing for other's misunderstandings over a simple Instagram story he posted, especially when he had no ill intentions at all.

Sun would also be in the 1st house, which could explain his persistent and strong character. Sun in 1st is usually a confident and/or ambitious placement. The latter definitely applies to Joon - he pursued his dreams despite the huge risk of failing and all the hate that he received. What he chose to do was considered unconventional and was disliked for it. Still he was very determined to succeed and to make a new way, make better contributions to art (due to possible uranus and neptune in 5th; uranus in 5th is esp very noncomformist). This placement is also good for leadership and Joon is definitely a natural leader.

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Other analysis:

MBTI | Enneagram

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Kpop astrology list

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Other blogs:

Main: Kpop typology (MBTI + enneagram) @rainymbti

Side: Kpop fanarts @rainy-artworks

[artbyfinnbrown]

Screenshots of my favourite moments from Re:Zero Arc 7 (Part 1):

Todd, it’s chapter 7. You don’t even hate Subaru yet. Why are you already talking about things that could potentially act as parallels to Return by Death?

This death (and the subsequent loops that follow) is probably my favourite sequence of Subaru deaths. I had to do a double take reading this when I realized that the words had started repeating. It starts so suddenly.

I love the O’Connell siblings. Nothing bad better happen to these to or I will be very upset.

“No trust me, I have to keep using the girl voice, it’s about staying in character” Sure buddy, whatever you need to say to feel better about yourself.

So I know this is meant to be screenshots of my favourite arc 7 moments, I guess this is also screenshots arc 7 moments that just make be feel sad and go “Aw, Man”

Wow, Subaru, you’re weirdly into making sure your boobs seem real. I wonder if that means anything.

Priscilla is weirdly one of the characters that seems to be most okay with Subaru’s crossdressing. She’s still mocking him, but she’s not mocking him for crossdressing, she’ll mocking him for being Subaru. She basically says “Yeah you’re a pretty hot woman. Unfortunately, I know your true cringe nature, so your good looks have no effect on me”.

Al. How many times did you die Al.

HA.

“I’ll fill you in on the correct information about Natsumi next time”. This implies that Subaru has Natsumi Schwarz lore that he actively maintains, which is incredibly funny (and also shows just how much dedicated he is to the Natsumi Schwartz persona)

Abel: Good that you’re here Priscilla. I assume you brought troopS with you to help support my cause? Priscilla: Nope! Just me and these 3 useless men I got to follow me around. Abel: Abel: Girl I am trying to retake a nation here-

I really like what arc 7 does with Priscilla’s character. Because arc 3 really just sets her up as an arrogant asshole. And arc 7 never disproves that, she’s still an arrogant asshole. But she’s an arrogant asshole who cares some very specific people.

On my first readthrough, this just seems like another instance of Subaru and Abel’s banter. However knowing everything there is to know now about Vincent and China’s relationship… yeah, it makes sense why Abel might not want people to talk about Chisa betraying him.

“Either is fine” She says. Okay sure thing buddy (Googles “What is Bigender” on a separate tab)

Damn Rem, I’m pretty sure killing him would have inflicted less psychological damage at this point. I do think it is interesting that despite being unfriendly towards Subaru for most of the arc so far, Rem does try to help him by trying to make him feel less guilty about not being able to save everyone. Unfortunately, she had no way of knowing that Subaru was basing a large amount if his self-worth off the belief that Rem thinks of him as a hero, leading this to backfire.

Those are some great questions about Al being brought up. Does he know about Return by Death? Does he have an ability like it? If He does, why wasn’t he able to prevent the loss of his arm? NOW IF ONLY HE WOULD GIVE US SOME ACTUAL ANSWERS-

I don’t know how to feel about the fact that horses exist in the Re:Zero world. I always assumed that Land Dragons just filled the role that horses did in this world. So that fact that there are actual horses feels kind of weird. I don’t like it . Unless horses have always been a thing in Re:Zero and I just somehow never noticed. Does anyone else think that horses existing in Re:Zero is weird? maybe it’s just me.

I mean, I could do an analysis on Natsumi Schwartz, but at this point I feel like Re:Zero tumblr has analyzed Natsumi to hell and back, so I don’t know if there’s really anything meaningful I could add at this point. I’ll leave it at this: At minimum he’s a Drag Queen, and at maximum she’s a trans woman, with the truth probably being somewhere in between those two extremes.

On its own this is nothing. The fact that Subaru says this right after the story refers to Natsumi Schwartz as Subaru’s “ideal self” is what really gives me the sad “Aw, man” feeling.

No Abel was right I don’t think that deserved a response.

AL GODDAMMIT HOW MANY TIMES DID YOU DIE THIS TIME YOU CRYPTIC MOTHER-

Anyway, expect part 2 of this post soon.

[neighborhoodscorpio]

Okay… in defense of the homewrecker.

The Ariana Grande hate is so crazy. I just feel like you have to be the most unserious person in the world to get worked up and feel the need to say something about a celebrity’s love life. Especially NOW. There are hundreds of abusive, toxic, physically harmful, predatory men in the entertainment industry and you can log on to see nothing but love for them! For FREE! Let alone every literal war happening right now. Yet this woman gets tangled in an affair and I see walls of hate everywhere. I don’t even care if what she did was wrong. I literally don’t. Half that industry should be in prison and y’all are yelling at her.

Let alone all the female artists who have made music very transparently about being The Other Woman… fucking baby daddies… etc etc. I feel as though she’s getting a misogynistic public punishment for presenting as a good girl figure and behaving differently. Weird aspect of the culture where indefensible behavior is more often tolerated when it’s openly shared.

Getting on a feminist high horse about jumping on Ariana Grande is laughable. The contempt for her is sooooo emotionally charged. I’m so surprised and confused by it. It feels like her biggest crime was daring to act like every other baddie while being 5’2” and I’m serious when I say that LMFAOOO… like… The amount of women jumping on it is crazy. They are speaking about feminism to hate on Ariana Grande. Girl we don’t have rights in half the states in the US. Ariana could steal five husbands and her feminist impact would still be greater than your comment. The fact that she did public democratic advocacy during the last election is literally enough to cover it. It’s like every woman feels as though miss Grande stole her man specifically. It’s giving traumatized. And I get that. But…

I have a really really really really hot take about cheating to add. To wrap up the whole topic… since I’ve been flabbergasted seeing the public opinion on every fucking website that I log into… listen. If anyone can steal your man, you should know about it. If you married a pathetic little worm, you should know about it. Instead of living your whole life convinced that your partner isn’t a piece of shit, I think it’s best to see what they’re capable of. My REALLY hot take is that the people who “steal” partners are doing a service. They’re the ones who reveal shitty character. They’re deep in the morally grey, to me.

Even though they might be doing it for self-serving reasons, obviously, there’s still a valuable function there. If a woman ever “stole” a partner from me, I’d thank her, key the guy’s car, and sleep really really well knowing that I’m not counting on someone weak. I wouldn’t even mourn what we had because it wasn’t actually there. If someone can’t even demonstrate a level of certainty with petty shit, I would never want to find out how weak they were in serious situations. Sooooo many men are horrible fucking people. If they cheat in love, they cheat in business, and elsewhere. The double standard is crazy there too. A woman doing romantic crimes is prison worthy. A man assaulting people though… just in his nature.

If anything, I feel bad for the women who actually want the cheating men they pursued. They’ve won a terrible life tournament and don’t even know it. The male validation is so strong, so addicting, that they can’t see the material damage that they’re causing to themselves, let alone OTHERS. If you can’t recognize that as a symptom of patriarchal poison idk how to talk with you about it. Feminism is so shallow in the mainstream that there is NO analysis if a woman’s actions are unsavory. Women hurt women because of men every single day. To be honest, if there wasn’t a baby in the picture, no one would give a shit about Ariana’s actions, and I haven’t seen that point made anywhere, either. An affair is an affair and no one cares. You hurt a woman? Who gives a shit. But now you’ve hurt a BABY? Suddenly the conversation turns into some bullshit about feminism. One of the most vile expressions of patriarchy is valuing a woman’s reproductive capacity more than her personhood, and this is no fucking different. Now that she’s reproduced, she almost deserves personhood. Outrage. Social commentary, even. Again— especially sickening in todays climate.

I just really can’t take y’all seriously. If it pissed you off just say that. But don’t invent a feminist argument to make yourself feel justified for hating Ariana Grande now. From that angle, there is far too much nuance to not make yourself look stupid.

[unregistered-hypercam-two]

Do you actually like Micah ? Why lol

ok, long post but yeah, I do

I’m gonna try to word this as best I can but english ain’t my first language so bear with me, partner

so... micah’s one of those villains you can’t help but laugh at and joke about. he’s a greasy bastard rat man who’s constantly making weird noises and has the weirdest temperment... and I don’t just mean in regards to anger.

micah is shown multiple times to be romantic and clingy, especially when it comes to dutch and arthur. like weirdly so that it took me two entire playthru’s to really see it...

micah’s a doll to arthur in the beginning, arthur’s distain for micah’s weird bootlickin’ backhanded comments sometimes spurs micah into a temperment fit but otherwise, micah seems to genuinely think of arthur as more than just some dumb gunslinger, he compliments arthur multiple times throughout the game, though none are ever requitted by our favorite outlaw...

and I mean, for good reason, micah’s constantly on a manic episode so you always have this feeling that micah can never be fully trusted at one given point. but I do believe he’s being genuine when he compliments dutch and arthur and gives them his advice (moreso dutch as the game plays out and arthur keeps pushing him away)

I think...

well, I have two theories... that I wanna talk about, and I might as well put it here...

so what if arthur requitted micah’s compliments, bantered with him like a friend rather than an outsider? (micah does bring up a good point that he’s been loyal to the gang longer than charles and yet arthur trusts charles so much more) do you think micah’d betray the van der linde gang if everyone put up with him a bit better or maybe tried to talk him through like... his trauma? (like how the girls tm sometimes let arthur and some of the other boys vent to them and rant about things that bother them)

do you think micah could truly change or is he already brutally morphed into a mass of evil constant? because I think about his upbringing a lot,

especially that one newspaper clipping talking about how micah and micah’s dad, micah (🥴) killed some ranchers by slittin’ their throat n’ hangin’ ‘em... micah was 17... imagine before that, how much grooming do you think it takes to force a child to murder someone? and judgin’ by what we know about papa micah and granpa micah, he was probably forced to do a plethora of gruesome and twisted things to strangers at a young age... I hate to see it

but I digress, micah had that one newspaper clippin’ of dutch’s bounty in his camp near Strawberry (you can go find it at any given point in the game after the american postoral service quest) so he was definitely contemplating it... but do you think if he felt more accepted in the gang when he was approached by Milton (after they tried to rope arthur into their deal when he took Jack fishing) he wouldn’t have taken the offer?

because micah’s alone at this point... he only has cleet n’ joe who implied/said (I never heard the dialogue myself) that they feel uncomfortable around micah at times due to his manic episodes, so... the van der linde gang is all micah has before he drives them apart and wills Milton’s deal, trying to isolate dutch, manipulate him, turn him in (which is... really strange considering even after arthur dies and after everyone gets away, micah takes in dutch and they coexist in the mountain for years after... why not turn him in in all those years he had him? with milton dead and the rest of the pinkerton agency not really knowing who micah is, he could have easily turned dutch in for a boat load of cash...)

but I keep thinkin’... even before all that, what if arthur and john were a bit more able and ready to handle micah at his weirdest, at his most clinically insane. maybe they could have drove him out peacefully or maybe they could have changed him :\ taken him in as a true brother... it wouldn’t be easy seeing as how absolutely gone micah is after being forced down the outlaw path at such a young age

don’t get me wrong, everyone started out young in the oUtLaW LiFe but fuck if dutch and hosea kept john and arthur’s heads on them and didn’t force them to kill children, maim women, slit farmer’s throats open for some quick cash— kill for fun. hell, their motto is that they only shoot people who NEED shootin’, micah’s daddy from the sounds of it really had no moral, no fucks to give ever.

being groomed to kill for fun, to be indifferent to women in general (seeing them as objects), and to see POC as outsiders (micah was probably raised to see them not only as lesser than him but probably as more evil), it couldn’t have been easy on micah’s psyche so yeah, maybe I’m bein’ a dreamer in this, trying to formulate a reality where micah can be changed, where he can have a realistic redemption arc but in honesty?

something drastic between he and arthur would have to happen in order for that to happen... it’s just weird seeing this goofy drunk man giving arthur praise and compliments and gifts descending more and more into this rotten and insane brick wall. hell, in the beginning when they were up in Colter, micah took missions well, listened to orders and directions extremely well without having to input anything and then you reach shady belle and micah questions everything anyone does, constantly has dutch changing his mind or thinking about something else other than the task at hand

I like micah a lot, his character is so interesting and he and his psyche and his motives, they’re all fun to study and I wish... idk I wish there were more redemption arc fics for him ‘cause I’m a sucker for them 😔

and as a disclaimer, I should say I do not support micah’s actions nor do I necessarily condone his thoughts towards those he deems lesser than him... I think he’s a fun character to play around with, that’s all, that’s why he’s my favorite character

[nightswithkookmin]

I'm not a jikooker because I prefer jimin with another member I ship him with..jimin is someone so affectionate and caring towards the people around him. With this jm is close to each member but somehow for some reason its always jikook who are spotted hanging out together off schedule. so many sightings from army spotting them in a restaurant and restaurants confirming this.the DVD memory 90% is jikook ofc the company favors them more that's why they film only their moments. because honestly as I ship jm with another pason I tend to always spot jikook together that it pisses me off so much.have had enaf of them together.no hate to jk but he should leave jm alone sometimes not hovering around him all the time duh!my question the latest run bts suga said "that's smth a couple would do" I mean why do they feel the need to highlight that all the time? Thats weird 😭if jikook are real and closeted isn't this exposing them?outing them just for a content lol it doesn't work that way.this is putting them at risk given they are in a homophobic country? or maybe the company wants to push this narrative of jikook as a couple?.also have mentioned about them spotted many times hanging out but we never see any other member hanging out off schedule just recently I saw jihope watching soccer. And its very rare.feel the company is pushing this fanservice even in their private lives.they want people to believe jikook are a thing.

Excuse me, you prefer Jimin with who??? 👀

If it's V or Suga or Namjoon I understand but anyone else and I'll snort😆

And I agree. Jimin is ship compatible with every one including himself. Yes. If he were a twin I'd ship him with his twin too and I'm not ashamed of that.

If you can't picture them making out I can and it's hot

Honestly I don't know if I should be flattered or mad or both or neither at this Ask so I'm just gonna be as respectful as I can be.

I haven't watched the run episode. I've only seen snippets but I will watch it this weekend. I have a ton of analysis to do and I hate commenting on stuff I haven't consumed.

This is not the first time Suga has said something of that nature. He's been alleged to have said "You weren't even a couple then" during Festa when Jikook shared the rain story.

Jin has made similar statements as have Namjoon and the others. When it comes to Jikook that is. He'll jikook have called themselves a couple too.

Since I don't speak their language and can't understand the nuances of it myself, I refrain from depending on any linguistic analysis for validation. I just take notice of it and carry on with my life.

Karmy can be a bit prudish and wow at everything because it's bold and daring and so out of the norm and gosh did you hear that? that's so gay, and sensationalise almost everything because they are so shocked easily by the prospect of two men "acting gay" when gay is so such taboo in their culture.

They are like me when I stare at a vagina that isn't my own.

I've said this over and over, but perhaps the company gravitate towards Jikook not only because what they have is authentic but because it's the best content they have💀

Best in terms of content production, engagement with fans, conversion of that engagement into monetary value, their chemistry is great, they self produce or come up with independently thought of and creative spontaneous moments that the best of hybe CCs couldn't conceive if they tried.

Which is strange because Vmin have awesome chemistry too and frankly I'm trynna see it. Jimin is a whole other mellow character around Taehyung sometimes. He steps back and let Tae take it away. Whereas around Jungkook most times, he gets so animated and hyper you'd think he swallowed a dynamite.

Not sure how much of his hyper activity is triggered by a subconscious awareness of Jungkook's proclivity towards introversion on screen. Whereas with V I feel he's more trusting of his co-workers ability to engage the audience on his own and come up with exciting and unique ideas for them to engage in without him necessarily worrying about censorship and worrying Tae's nerves will cause him to slip or make mistakes.

With Jungkook he gets lost trying to loosen him up and get him to relax on screen and not be soo aware of the cameras, or not read too much into anything he does while also trying to rile him up to get a reaction out of him because he's often fascinated by Jk's visceral response and reaction to him. He acts like there's no camera around, JK it's into it but soon forgets that millions of people are watching and so Jimin has to be on high alert around him. They give me headaches but I'm toxic so I love it. Bring it on Jikook.

Anywho, that was old Vmin. And old Jikook. These days Jungkook is the one that tries to loosen JM up.

And these days VMin can't play or keep it going for more than 5minutes without boring us to death with whatever weird vibes and inside jokes they have going on between them.

Case in point

Exhibit B

Don't get me wrong, they have impeccable chemistry and are also very good friends but let them be alone for an hour and you start blinking blankly at the screen- like you know there's something they not telling us and they matured and they all acting like grown ups with so much self respect and admiration for eachother.

Like when Tae confessed he liked Jimin alot I didn't expect Jimin's reaction at all, certainly not Suga cringing cos if those two are besties and face time eachother everyday I love you should be something they both should be used to hearing from eachother by now and their friends should be used to their shenanigans too by now.

Besides Taehyung confesses his love for Jimin more than he breathes oxygen in the air and this is Bangtan raised to the power Kpop- gay isn't exactly new to them if you know what I mean.

Yet no one said well that's so something a couple will do for that VMin moment. They cringed harder than a ma cracks his knuckles. Like friends would if another friend started acting homo around the bro table. There's a scene from Boys over flowers where Lee Minho goes to kiss another one of their friends- note to self, gurl, you have to rewatch those dramas you loved it. We loved it. Cool? Cool.

That moment with vmin and Suga reminds me each time of that scene from the drama.

Where's if actual couples did it, the reaction would be one of just pure awkwardness because no one knows how to react around couples. You can't stare at them on the bus when they kiss cos you feel you are the creep creeping up on private moments. It's just awkward and you don't know what to do with yourself.

Then if they are your friends you try to play it up by teasing them, mimicking them, hooting at them

Or you just exchange awkward glances and smirk

And to put things into perspective, Namjin cringing and bursting out a romantic soundtrack over Jikook's rain fight narration was warranted.

It was the first time they were hearing this from them and their reaction was as anyone would- yet Suga didn't find that cringing AT ALL like he had found VMins moment to be- just a smirk like it's just ridiculous with those two. See how similar Jin had reacted to their hickey story too?

Hobi forgets to react at all sometimes💀

He just smiles warmly and stares or laugh his brains out. Except for that one time Jungkook let it slip he wanted to be handcuffed by Jimin🥺

And why was it necessary for Tae to say that? Why was it necessary for Tae to make that confession? And why did the members intuitively assume JM was going to choose Jungkook for that? Namjoon went with V but only because he voided his gut instincts and used his head. We've all been there.

Jimin have said Tae has matured so much and we only see glimpses of Old Tae but he's different. Of course that's gonna impact the way they interact on screen.

They keep saying that's something a couple will do because THAT'S SOMETHING A COUPLE WILL REALLY DO.

There's no beating around the bush about it.

The ironical friends sharing a couch or they look exceptionally close today does not explain why they sneak into each other's hotel rooms or why cameras were placed in their rooms without their notice and Jikook had to walk in blindsided.

Jimins reaction was priceless.

You frankly don't need to see or hear them going out to restaurants to know something's up with those two. You don't.

Anyone who claims otherwise is just in denial.

Personally, if a Korean were to ask me about Jikook I'd say to them they are friends fuck off. If an Iarmy were to ask I'll say they are more than that. I see them for what they are and I celebrate them, I appreciate them, I love them and I support them. But I will protect them against anyone that posed a threat to their safety their well-being and their essence.

It's just the gay way.

And I feel this is often the conundrum people are faced with when it comes to Jikook. On one hand, they want to be celebrated- who wouldn't -but on the other hand their safety careers and lives could be as stake and they would want to protect that too.

And the best way to do that, if I were a company, would be to hide them in plain sight. Which is what everyone and their momma does with Jikook.

Jikook have not always been the creme de la creme of ships and hybe have not always used them as their go to fanservice ship. Granted fanservice is part of Kpop.

The Busan Brothers have split. The sun and moon duo blah- jikook don't nearly get marketed as a couple as much as other ships in bts to be frank. Editors have called Tae Kook romantic or a couple with chest in content, Sope get called couples almost everyday, they deliberately put members together to promote stuff because THEY ARE ALL THERE TO WORK.

This is somebody's business. They invest real money Into all of this. If ships were hurting their business and hard earned or borrowed money, they would dead that shit two dinosaurs ago. The fact they ain't said nothing means it's serving them. We are the puppets and they are the puppeteers.

They pull the strings and we go. Not the other way round.

As to whether they are doing this at the expense of Jikook, Jikook would be the best determiners of that. They have agency and in the past where they were "too young" to comprehend the consequences of their actions they had their hyungs to look at for them- hence all those tensions and allegations of members breathing down their necks.

Bighit was acting like Kris Jenner, encouraging them to strip and gyrate metaphorically for the cameras while they smiled all the way to the bank to cash out.

But it's 2022, a year where BTS have gone up against the government of Korea itsself and decided by themselves to call off any postponement to their military service and serve.

This is the same year you want to peddle the Hybe making Jikook do fanservice in their PRIVATE LIVES???

Girl BYE. Can't take you seriously.

I won't lie you lost me there.

WERE YOU IN THE FANDOM WHEN THEY ISSUED A STATEMENT TO THE EFFECT JUNGKOOK'S PERSONAL MATTERS IS NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS DURING HIS ITAEWON SCANDAL??

What they do off schedule really is none of our business or company's. Just as you get to go off work and your boss don't follow you home. It's reasonable to assume same for these boys.

YOU DIDN'T SEE HOW THEY SAID JACK SHIT ABOUT TAE JENNIE RUMORS?

There's been so much history and so much growth and the boys have accumulated enough socioeconomic capital to be reduced to such nonsensical levels of ridicule and bad takes.

And I'm sorry but what do you mean Jungkook should back off Jimin sometimes??

THE ANSWER IS A GRAND NO.

Read my lips, NEEEEEEUUUUUUUU

They are two legal adults half way through and almost 30, who determine whom to give their time and energy to and they choose to do that with each other- Oh look, I found something. Respect. Have some. For them.

Jimin has been spending his time with various persons both in a professional capacity and non professional capacity and we should be grateful that he is a functioning human being capable of functioning outside his group dynamic.

Going solo is pretty scary and they are all transitioning well and adjusting well to it. That's all that matters. Let's be glad that in spite of their personal projects that they make time to connect with their members and keep the spirit of BTS alive.

Real heartache is them finding BTS outside BTS and forgetting how precious their friend group once was.

But I get where you are coming from. rather than try to manifest Jungkook out of the picture, try manifesting your fave into the picture and go nag them until they call him up m- don't worry I'll put them through when the call comes. Wink.

Jimin is an extrovert and honestly he is well adjusted. I don't think he needs much help connecting with ppl.

My good sis, let's just enjoy the breadcrumbs while we can, before Jikook officially ties the knot🤧

Once they do it's game over for you and I and all the jm side ships on the black ship market🥺

I wouldn't say the company want ppl to believe Jikook are a thing. They only want you to believe they aren't a big deal. It's called normalization. The oldest trick in the books.

I'm high on pain meds.

I made sense some where I hope. Deadass💀

[mini-cookie-11]

Analysis of "Real Gabriel"

So i'm going to write this because yes

Gabriel Agreste is a villain, and he obviously is going to receive all the hate of the fandom, mostly. And i think that's what makes him a good villain, even in a kids show. That's the point of being the antagonist.

but

He's a really complex character, as his motivations. I think the fandom hasn't spoke enough about what the actual "wish" is. Like i mostly read that people says -he wants his wife to come back alive- kinda ideas. But he has implied a lot about erasing a mistake, or thinks like that.

I totally bet on that he wants to go back and not do something, or stop Emilie on do something. And that would make all the future "invalid". At the end that's why he's so careless of even Adrien most of the time, because, as cold as it could be, he knows that it just wouldn't count.

Obviously he won't sacrifice Adrien's life because he is his son, but Gabriel is just putting all of himself in getting the cat and ladybug miraculous. Also something to point out, is that he obviously won't go so far away, because is still "his reality", idk if you get the point but i hope is clear enough xD.

Anyway, in Queen Wasp, something curious happens for just a few minuts.

Gabriel actually gave up for good. And the whole self changes.

Who is Gabriel Agreste without the burden of hope that he can save Emilie? Who is he without the miraculous, without magic?

It was just a few minuts, but it gaves enough details to make my brain go insane with ideas. I hope i can make it justice.

His motivation to break the promise he made to Emilie (maybe when she was alive, we don't know) is Adrien's safety. Also that he was powerless, all the options for him where gone.

As he was walking away, Gabriel was leaving all hope behind. And we get to see his sadness next.

Nathalie enters the room, then this.

This is something that any of them could be back from, even when Gabriel actually keeps trying to get the miraculous.

This is just her showing her attention and affection on him, he just receives it with comfort.

On Nathalies side, this whole thing of Gabriel giving up and then stop giving up, was really painful. Because, when she had her "walls", Nath knew that he just would never pay attention to her, and probably at the end she was ok with it (like i know not ok in a good way, but like she was resigned to that). But here Gabe actually received the hug without saying anything against. She was close to him physically in this particularly way; there is no coming back of knowing how it feels to embrace him. So probably all her walls just fell at that moment, there was hope, a hope that she never had in the past. And that same hope that later can mean a broken heart.

On Gabriel's side, is like "ok that happened but i still love my wife so that didn't happen" kinda way of thinking after going back to his goal. But i really think in that moment, he just let himself be and feel. It was the new taste of a future that maybe not now, but at some point, really close, he was willing to build, with Nathalie's help.

random tought: i think it was good that he didn't stop here, like aside that the whole show would have ended, but i think Gabriel needed to grow closer to Nathalie, fighting together, plotting together, maybe at this point he actually get's to know her, and that admiration for her, that she is always standing by his side, is setting the bases for something more... oh let's say it he already loves her uwu.

Gabriel showing himself in public, giving affection to Adrien.

That's it. There's the analysis.

He is loving and caring for his son, like he could have waited until Adrien ends the show. But, it was Gabriel's way to actually show and celebrate somehow that he was actually free. That he can be Adrien's father 100%, that he is proud of the little men he has become. The Agrestes are so extra, you can't change my mind xD.

This is him finding Audrey after akumatize her, with his sad eyes. At this point everything just wasn't worth it, and he harmed somehow his old friend, and later we discover that it was actually Audrey who discovers him.

You can't tell me that Gabriel dislikes Marinette, i mean, look at him. Oh this picture is so much "like father, like son" uwu. He seems really interested in Mari's talent, even happy that she is there. I don't think he would mind if she dated Adrien.

"oh but cat blanc"

I KNOW I KNOW

But as i said before, he knows that if he achieves his goal the future would be erased, and everything would be "worth it". He made them broke up to get the akuma on Marinette, that's all. im not justify him, but trying to understand how his mind works xD.

he looks soft. is my fave version of him uwu

Here Gabriel has this "proud dad" look on his face staring at Marinette xD

BUT THEN

AHHHHHHHH

CHLOE

agreste going :O

But like everything ends just right there.

Gabriel Agreste is the villain, yes, but he would be literally a different person without the burden of being Hawkmoth, having the "responsability" of a promise that he made to Emilie. All things have a cost, obviously the opportunity of saving the one he loves, is taking away Gabriel's chance for a warm present, where he can be free.

Free to be himself around his loved ones, free to actually love them the way they deserve, to feel happy and to spend time with Adrien, free to build his family again.

I'm not saying he would be good, because, yeahhhh his moral is pretty gray, like his hair, sometimes xD, but free of the past, free of his bad decisions.

Free of Emilie, in a way.

[ocdhuacheng]

i get that people genderbend male character to be female in mxtx stories (esp if those ppl are wlw) because the majority of characters are male and it is focused on mlm content. so i support wlw simping over cool necromancer lesbians you go girlies, but in general i tend to stay away from genderbend stuff because sooooo much of it is made by cis ppl and it can be a bit transphobic? it also a lot of the times falls into the cishet gender stereotype shit of "women big boobie slim waist small big lips big eyes, men big buff strong macho 8 pack square" which is! oh no cringe!

yeah EXACTLY like my thoughts too. bc the vast majority of genderbending made by cis ppl really is just. like you said. biological gender stereotype shit. i feel like most trans people i see are made pretty uncomfortable by this, and i can totally see why, so i am too. but at the same time i DO understand wlw who want more content with girls/wlw characters esp when there are so few to begin with. so like im kinda willing to give wlw the benefit of the doubt in this case even though i dont rly like to interact with it myself. but also, my beloved sisters in christ... baihe exists

the only genderbending ill really interact with is works with sqx, he xuan*, and hua cheng like since theyre the ones that are shown to or mentioned to change gender in canon. (ling wen too, tho tbh i dont rly care about male!ling wen lmfao, just for the sole reason that, well. i am a lesbian. tho i do have to say the lore behind her male form is actually rather compelling and i think if mxtx were more skilled and open to writing analysis about gender, it could lead to a very thoughtful and nuanced discussion of how ling wen views herself, rather than just if she looks like a cis woman shes a woman if she looks like a cis man shes a man. because iirc she only shapeshifted to get the extra power she had in her male form? that doesnt mean that she is now a man, but in those scenes the book automatically refers to her as such. would love an extra about ling wen's self image and gender. but no, we had to get the statue sex and weird underage amnesia stuff 🙄)

BUT ANYWAY like idk if it really counts as genderbending in tgcf's case? but either way i know mxtx made that ~gods and ghosts can change gender at will~ thing just as a haha comedic relief thing like i think them having the power to do that is totally cool but i do not think it was done respectfully at all, especially with sqx, since mxtx kind of either intentionally or not sends the message (at least to me) that you can only be trans if you pass as cis. ive said it a million times before and ill say it again but the way sqx is never referred to as a woman (by the characters, the narrative, and even THEMSELF) after they lose the ability to LOOK like a cis woman is so so infuriating to me. like theyre not going to just STOP being genderfluid/trans just bc they cant change their appearance. and also not to mention throughout the book they were just kinda treated as being silly and immature for wanting to change their gender in the first place, so, another win for transphobia i guess. though i can appreciate having a canon trans/genderfluid character, they definitely could have been written better in that regard

*while i love fem!he xuan... it did leave a kinda dirty taste in my mouth when mxtx had to make sure we knew that he xuan only did it to appease sqx, and actually hated being a woman. and the way it was talked about too like 'oh he was forced to be in a womans body so OF COURSE he was super pissed the entire time' like i cant explain it but it was just kind of upsetting. kinda transphobic and misogynist. one might even say,..... transmisogynist 🤔

this answer kinda ended up going on a tangent but yea lol thanks for the ask ^^

[anime-grimmy]

I wanna be a negative nancy today so hottake bout a HZD/HFW fandom opinion:

Before I go bitchin about, Imma say that I love the HZD/HFW fandom. There's a lot of fun and creativity to be had and reading character analysis is an absolute blast cause people manage to pick up on things I wouldn't even have thought about. And I really don't mind ppl changing characters/settings to fit their needs, after all, I'm guilty of doing that as well. As long as you're having fun, you do you, dude.

But there's just one thing that absolutely grinds my gears, only because it seems widely accepted among the fans; if most say it only as a joke/ironically, Imma look like a dumbass but just the sheer amount of likes that these posts get make me think otherwise.

I'm talking about posts like these: (stitched this together myself btw)

Well, the meme is fine in itself, but Im more talking about the broader consensus that Aloy just, doesn't care the least bit bout the male NPCs and acts as if their troubles are just them whining, but is super nice and gentle to the female NPCs. And I just, I don't get where this is coming from??

I mean, I guess you can get that impression from the first game since most ppl you help out are kind of scumbags, but then I also think about how gentle Aloy is with the dad of the literal second sidequest and how "I don't give a shit" she is at the start of Talanah's quest.

I also can't see it when in HFW Aloy is exasperated with every second Oseram she comes across, be it man or woman, how she thinks both Drakka and Yarra are being stupid, or how fucking gentle she is with the blind Tenakth boy or the dad with dementia.

What it boils down to, I think, is that Im just so sick and tired of ppl putting Aloy on a pedestal of sth she isn't.

I get it, she's a great, strong female lead that isn't just an emotionless piece of cardboard or just "man, but as WOMAN". She has her flaws, but that just makes her more grounded and interesting. She's headstrong and doesn't give a shit about ppl's petty whining, and I get you wanna project your own ideas and ideals onto a character like that because it reflects them in a good light.

But I'm so sick of ppl making Aloy out to be someone she's not, only to mold her brash personality into their own beliefs.

I'm sick that they twist her compassionate heart into a men-hating, self righteous bitch, when, just like her mom, she wants to save the world because she cares about everyone.

[s5anyu]

he is a terrible man. and yet amongst men, he is the most beautiful of characters.

Character Analysis for Askeladd of Vinland saga

On the surface, Askeladd is nothing more than a self-serving man. He is cunning, charming, and intelligent, qualities that no matter the disdain people have for his abrasive personality, have earned him respect amongst the Vikings, and beyond. Floki respects his intelligence enough to approach him to request the killing of a man who is regarded to be the strongest amongst all warriors. This being his first appearance is a solid testament to his ability to overcome any predicament – the basis of his development as a character throughout the Vinland Saga prologue. His men trust in all of his decisions, no matter how rash. They believe him to be as lucky as he is intelligent. His intelligence, wisdom and kindness complements the air of arrogance with which he carries himself. When hosted by his uncle Gorm, he laughs at him, before imparting wisdom on a young man who tells him that he would sooner die than live without pride. He says:

“Look. It’s terrible. The guy who’s a slave to money holds a whip and pretends to be the master of the slave he bought with his money. He just doesn’t realise it himself. Everyone is a slave to something.”

Such a sense of wisdom places Askeladd as a tool for Yukimura to present and explore the status of elders in Norse society. As an elder to Thorfinn, he guides him through different trials and encourages him to push his limits as a warrior, and become a better combatant. Regardless of whether or not life at war is the best option for Thorfinn, Askeladd always believes in him and his ability, and though he never expresses verbally his concern for Thorfinn’s wellbeing, he always shows an interest in Thorfinn’s safety and is always waiting for his return where the rest of his band do not care. To the other Vikings, Thorfinn is just another one of their men. Bjorn says of Thorfinn, “You trusted in his [Thorfinn’s] luck too much this time. It doesn’t matter. I didn’t lose anything.” This statement also reflects the stark individualism displayed by Vikings – although they may work together in bands of warriors or mercenaries or otherwise, they do so to serve their own interests – honour, valour, wealth, among many things. But to Askeladd, he is someone important - someone he cares for. When one considers the question of whether life at war is the best for Thorfinn the answer to this question evidences Askeladd’s selfishness. Despite knowing that life as a warrior is not the best for Thorfinn, he still uses him as a tool to further his own goals. In his own words, “It’s just easy to make use of an idiot who is not afraid of anything.”

There are, however, multiple occasions on which Askeladd appears to be straying from the typical Viking individualism of the era. The first example of this, is his kindness towards Thorfinn, as introduced in the previous paragraph. Amongst Vikings, such ideas of care and brotherhood are ultimately trumped by ideas of valour in battle and honour in death. One would not be greatly concerned with the death of one’s companions as long as they are assured that the departed are well on their way to the esteemed Valhalla – however the concern that Askeladd shows towards Thorfinn is evidence of his holding of attitudes that were unconventional for his time. This ties into the subtle revelation towards the end of the prologue that Askeladd does not believe that life at war is honourable, and does not hold the Viking people in esteem because of this; going so far as to disdain his own Norse heritage in favour of his Welsh heritage. His final actions and his final words reflect his sentiment from episode 10, Ragnarok, in which he declares:

"This is the age of twilight, Bjorn. Let’s go out with a bang."

In his final moments, he kills King Sweyn to protect both his motherland of Wales and the young Prince Canute. In this, he sacrifices himself to protect what is dear to him – and to protect King Canute who he grows to respect as a man with potential to be great in their short period of companionship. This is him leaving his mark on the age of twilight; this is him going out with a bang. He tells Thorfinn:

“In the future, after I die, how do you plan to live your life, Thorfinn? You haven’t thought about it, right? Move forward already. Don’t stay stuck in a boring place like this forever. Go far ahead, go beyond the world where Thors went. You’re Thors’ son. Go. That’s your real fight. Become a true warrior son of Thors.”

These last words reflect multiple things that are introduced at the beginning of the prologue and explored throughout it, the first being Askeladd’s feelings towards Thors. At the beginning of the prologue, Askeladd shows great respect to Thors throughout the duration of their battle. He outwardly expresses an appreciation for his strength, saying that he “could lead a whole army”. This statement shows that Thors is a man who is both physically strong and strong in character, and that Askeladd recognises this. He then asks of him, “why don’t you become our leader?” which shocks his men – as mentioned before they trust in him absolutely and are already surprised to see a man who can best him in hand-to-hand combat. However, none of them express dissent to this; whether this is out of shock or acceptance is open to interpretation. When he backtracks on this statement and says he’s only joking, one of the young men from the village try to attack Askeladd, to which he responds

“Damn kid. You should start valuing your life. You should be grateful to Thors. He was a man who was worth more than a hundred bratty kids like you.”

Askeladd greatly respects Thors and despite his decision, holds him in high esteem. The first part of this statement also reflects on his belief in – or at the very least respect for – Thors and his philosophy. He calls him a man of great value and he scolds the young man who he perceives as disrespecting the sacrifice that Thors made to keep him alive. “Don’t stay in a boring place like this” refers generally to the life of a warrior as opposed to their physical location of the king’s court. As detailed briefly above, Askeladd disdains the life of a warrior, and disdains the Vikings for it. Therefore, when he reminds Thorfinn “You’re Thors’ son”, he believes that Thorfinn Karlsefni has the potential to be as great as his father, if not more so. He believes that he can grow to become something greater than a warrior.

The second idea that this quote reflects is that of Askeladd’s care and concern for Thorfinn. He asks, “You haven’t thought about it, right?”. Askeladd has thought about how Thorfinn has been mentally since the passing of his father. Thorfinn has a stark hatred of battle and engages in it purely because of the hatred he has for Askeladd, and the proximity it gives him to his goal of killing him. Askeladd is aware of this. In his last moments, he could have been unkind and goading towards Thorfinn as he had been in the past – but instead he pushes him to seek something better. He knows that Thorfinn has been suffering emotionally and hasn’t known happiness from the day they met. Askeladd doesn’t appear as a man who wants to seek redemption – he wants Thorfinn to find happiness now that he has nowhere to direct the anger that has been his only motivator for the greater part of his childhood. From this, one could argue that Askeladd’s selfishness trumped his desire for Thorfinn to be happy. However, very early on in the prologue, Askeladd hints at his acceptance of defeat at Thorfinn’s hand.

"You’ve grown a lot. Well, time is on your side. You’re going to grow, and I’m going to get old. Someday, I’m going to lose to you. It’s only natural. Even the strongest dies someday."

Askeladd doesn’t attempt to dissuade Thorfinn from his desire for vengeance. Rather he tries to guide him towards the idea that vengeance is empty, and that any defeat he faces at Thorfinn’s hand is meaningless in the face of the natural order of the world. He knows that it is pointless to try and calm the resentment that Thorfinn harbours towards him; he knows the gravity of his sin and can’t tell Thorfinn not to hate him for it. From this, we can begin to explore the idea that Askeladd is similar to Thorfinn and sees himself in the younger man. Askeladd is just as full of hatred as Thorfinn is – as much as he is to a father figure to Thorfinn as a man, as a character, he serves as both a parallel and a foil to Thorfinn.

Askeladd is just as full of hatred as Thorfinn. His mother, Lydia, was taken from her homeland of Wales as a concubine to Olaf, and when she grew sick, she was of no value to him. She and her son were discarded and Askeladd grew to despise his father, and by extension his people. Askeladd, like Thorfinn, learned from the man he hated the most and sought revenge against him. Askeladd was successful in killing his father but his disdain for the Viking way of life and his bloodline led him to harbour resentment even into his old age. He is therefore a parallel to Thorfinn in that they both resent battle and war but tolerate it as a means to satisfying their own end. Askeladd, however, has seen and experienced first-hand the effects of Viking conquest on the innocent. Thorfinn has only seen it from the eyes of the oppressor.

Despite this, both continue to kill.

Askeladd’s ability to relate to Thorfinn’s anger is what makes him such a good father figure to him. He knows what it means to be so consumed by anger that you see nothing else, that you live for nothing else – to endure something you despise for the sake of vengeance. He knows that Thorfinn is miserable, and hurting, and lonely, because he is too. Such a sense of relatability is what puts him in a position to understand and take care of Thorfinn. It is because he understands how Thorfinn feels that he does not attempt to dissuade him from following him around in the hopes of killing him. He knows that Thorfinn cannot let go of the anger he has until he sees the recipient of that anger gone, because he too suffers from the same affliction. Therefore, it is not selfishness that drives Askeladd to keep Thorfinn around in his suffering – it is resignation; the same resignation he displays when he says that he will someday lose to Thorfinn.

Askeladd proves himself throughout his life to be ahead of his time. He is wise, caring, and understanding; but he is also cold, cunning, and ruthless. Man is not absolute, and Askeladd is no exception. But from those of his time, he is far above men – even with each and every of his nuances and flaws. he comes close to attaining the status of a true warrior as Thors was – and maybe if he had had more time, he could’ve seen his mother’s dream come true. The world is never that simple.

word from the writer:

When Askeladd was first introduced to me, he appeared to me as a terrible man. His intelligence and his strength is terrifying. A man who can kill for his own gain, without remorse. Such a terrible man. But amongst men he is the most beautiful of characters.

When I was writing this I wanted it to be a prelude to my upcoming essay on his relationship with Thorfinn. To some degree I’ve covered that here, so the next piece will most likely be on how Thorfinn views him and I would also like to talk about his relationship with prince Canute. Askeladd, despite not seeming like it, is a very fatherly man and I love looking at how he interacts with the other members of the cast. I hope you enjoyed this, and I’d love to hear what you guys have to say about this. my asks are always open.

Please look forward to the next piece in my Vinland Saga series.

[ishipdestiel-lovesofmylifeistg85]

Comparison Post: Part 2

(*Spoilers for tv shows, Supernatural and Scrubs in way of character analysis*)

Dean Winchester

(Supernatural tv show, 2005-2020)

Vs.

Dr. Cox (Perry)

(Scrubs tv show, 2001-2010)

I have a feeling this post will be much shorter than the last one. So, yay or not yay, depending on how you felt about the last one I guess, lol.

Here we go!

Alright, so this was a surprise for me to find myself realizing that if Dean was most like anyone in the Scrubs universe, it would be none other than Dr. Cox. Why?

Let's talk about it!

(1) They both grew up with an abusive alcoholic father

The physical abuse of Dean's dad, john, is merely implied, we don't see it but we are given not so subtle clues though nobody straight up says it. While Dr. Cox literally confides in JD that, that is the reason it's so hard for him to be around his sister, because she's a reminder of their terrible childhood.

But there is no doubt about the immense emotional and mental abuse they've each dealt that has become part of their inner narrative about themselves.

Like I mentioned briefly in part 1, 9 times out of 10, abusers will get you to continue their abuse on you, within your own mind. They have belittled you and made you doubt yourself and feel so wrong and worthless, that at some point they don't even have to make an effort anymore. This is especially *easier* for an abuser to make you put this on yourself if it's done during childhood, and even more so when it's coming from someone who is supposed to offer you nothing but unconditional love and support. Sadly, this is the case for them both.

(2) They both have alpha male/macho man, bullshit toxic masculinity thing going on.

And both of them are putting on a mask, when they do this. It's not part of who they are, this is the part of them that is trying to live up to who their dads would expect them to be. Who their dad thought they should be. Its easy to see, their both playing a role and making a show of it, when they are acting out this type of behavior.

(3) they both have intense self hatred that conflicts with their want and need to be loved and cared for.

This complicates their relationships with everyone from co-workers and friends, up to romantic interests/partners. It's so hard for either of them to allow themselves to be vulnerable with anyone, for fear of being seen as weak and being taken advantage of, or mocked and ridiculed.

(4) They both tend to self isolate due to their self hatred and self worth issues

This speaks for itself, but they push everyone away, friends, family, love interests and partners, because they don't think they deserve love, and don't know how to be emotionally vulnerable. They also are equally terrified of being genuinely loved and being vulnerable, while they crave it and are in desperate need of not always having to only rely on themself. They like to be around others, hate to be alone with their thoughts, but still keep people at arms length despite their desire to have intimate relationships.

(5) They are both alcoholics, just like their fathers. (This one pretty much speaks for itself)

(6) They both have a male friend (im using the term friend here loosely btw) who is willing to be vulnerable and emotionally intimate with them.

They both show annoyance as well as confusion, and being uncomfortable in these situations and they don't know how to give back in the same ways.

With Dean, this person is of course, Cas (Castiel). Castiel literally doesn't understand social norms, as well as much more about the human experience, so he chooses to ignore them, rather than try to adjust himself to those 'rules' of society. Because of this, there is right off the bat, an awkward sort of intimacy between them that scares the hell out of Dean. It makes him uncomfortable, because he's not had any precious examples of any form of intimacy between two men, for damn sure not his father. But as their friendship grows, Over time, Dean starts to accept that this is okay, and stops trying to put on his tough guy act where he pushes Cas away in order to keep their emotional distance in a 'manly' way.

For Dr. Cox, this person is JD. JD comes into Dr. Cox's life as a co-worker at Sacred Heart hospital, fresh out of medical school. Just like with Dean and Cas, JD doesn't seem to have any of the same need to act 'manly' or play some role, around Dr. Cox. JD is just automatically his own genuine albeit somewhat goofy self. It catches Dr. Cox off guard because he isn't used to men relating to each other in such a way, hasn't had any kind of male plantonic intimacy example and therefore it makes him super uncomfortable and he tends to keep JD at arms length. Also the same as with Dean and Cas, over time, Dr. Cox allows himself to start being more and more vulnerable with JD, and their friendship grows stronger because of it. He still has somewhat of his 'manly' act, but for the most part he knows JD knows this not who he really is, so he doesn't bother with it unless they are around others.

(7) The intimacy in their male/male friendship helps them to grow and mature as a person.

Dr. Cox and his ex-wife Jordan have an odd dynamic. They both have a hard time being vulnerable, feel the need to mock and ridicule (most likely just because that's the only real example they have been given over and over, especially from ppl who were supposed to offer unconditional love and support) so they often mix joking with real mocking and ridicule to each other more than anyone else even more so when they are in a relationship together. Since meeting and becoming friends with JD though, when Dr. Cox and Jordan get back together it starts off just as I said, both being bullies and selfish, not caring about the other's needs or wants. BUT as Dr. Cox and JD's friendship grows and he gradually starts being more and more accepting of this emotional vulnerability thing that he's never had before, that starts to leak over into his relationship with Jordan.

He's the first to start offering emotional vulnerability in their relationship, and since Jordan has trouble with this also, it makes it easier for her to be vulnerable once he's giving an example of it, and also the fact that he is already opening himself up to ridicule, so she feels safer to do the same. So their relationship grows stronger as they start being emotionally vulnerable with each other. Because with them being putting themselves out there, comes mutual trust and makes their love stronger.

Even with Ben, Jordan's brother and Dr. Cox's best friend, Dr. Cox has never been able to really offer himself to being really honest and vulnerable with him before JD came into his life.

Eventually, also because of this new emotional vulnerability, Dr. Cox is able to realize as the father of a young boy, that he doesn't want to and will not be the same kind of man to his son that his dad was to him. He starts making an effort to start spending time with Jack (OMG I didn't even think about the fact that Dr. Cox and Dean both have a son named Jack until this very second!) and goes from being way to blunt with his 3/4yr old son, he starts playing games with him and treating him like the small child that he is. One example is he, previously refused to kiss his son after he wasn't technically a baby anymore but realizes that is ridiculous, once again throwing out the notion that he has to be the man his father wanted him to be.

Dean and his little brother Sam have always had a complicated relationship. Sam is his brother, but he also raised him. Dean was and has always been Sam's main source of home, love and family. While Dean didn't have that same constant source, he DID have someone who always cared, he just didn't often get to be around him enough growing up to have a better sense of safety etc. from it- his surrogate dad, Bobby Singer.

Despite Dean being nurturing in the way of watching out for Sam the best he can, sticking up for him but mainly making sure he had food and had a place to sleep and all, (even Bobby wasn't the most emotionally open/vulnerable person though he was a lot more in the way of showing affection than john) Dean still wasn't very emotionally open or vulnerable with Sam, who he loved more than anyone. Mainly because he didn't have any male examples and only a faint memory of his mom from when he was four years old, before she died.

Just like with JD and Dr. Cox, Cas helped Dean to not only work up to accepting Cas' emotional intimacy with him, but it helped Dean to offer emotional intimacy to his brother. So, Cas actually ended up helping Dean get closer with his brother in a more emotionally healthy way, including getting more comfortable with physical affection even when it isn't under dire circumstances. Undoing their extremely unhealthy codependent relationship, and gradually replacing it with what a parent/adult child relationship, paired with a grown siblings relationship. Still just as complicated, but on it's way to becoming a lot healthier.

Physical affection that Dean also shared with Cas himself

As well as with his son, Jack that he co-parented with Cas

Dean was also gradually able to start letting go of the image of himself that john had made him try to continually try to live up to. He started to believe in himself, and also like emotionally healthy relationships tend to do, instead of his self worth being dependent of how his relationship with Cas was going at the moment, it helped him to start accepting himself, dare I say even loving himself.

Alright, I think that's all I have for this one. Hope you enjoyed! Plz feel free to reblog. Got anything to add? I'd love to hear your thoughts! ❤

[life-rewritten]

True Beauty- Prince Charming, The Knight and the Ugly Duckling

Okay, let's get into it. First, I think the discourse has begun even more fiercely with the love triangle. I can see so many people complaining and crying about the treatment of Seo Jun in the show. Now I just want to say first of all that I haven't read the webtoon, it must be very upsetting to see a favourite of yours be so different and changed in an adaptation and all his good moments are given to the other guy just to make him a better lead. I get that frustration, but what can I do but analyse what the show is showing. Right now, the discourse about how toxic and creepy Suho is isn't making sense to me. I do think he is getting more hate than needed; it's fine if you're upset and hurt by how they have twisted the characters but don't come in and put all the blame on one character who isn't doing anything horrifying as everyone keeps on making it out to be. Nevertheless, I'm here to analyse the love triangle in these two episodes. I'm here to discuss more about the psychological basis of the characters, their masks, and how they show love and deal with these emotions. So without further or do let's get into this analysis, shall we?

Feelings and Emotions

First of all, episode 7 and 8 was very focused on the love square building. It makes sense because all our characters are going through feelings and emotions for people who show up and be some kind of happiness and safe space to them. This is not just Ju Kyung, Suho, Seojun but also we have an addition to Soo Jin who questions her feelings and emotions as well. In my opinion, this love square can go either way; both couples in the square all have different ways they impact or change each other. Both Seojun and Suho are great matches for Ju Kyung especially, but we also have to look at it more in-depth. Why is it that at the end of these two episodes, it was always going to be Ju Kyung and Suho who ended up together, for now, no matter what? It doesn't mean SeoJun is out of the game, in fact, I think he's more closer to having a chance with her in terms of storytelling, and how it bodes for Soojin is quite foreshadowing to be negative and worrying. So let's look deeper into the love square situation and break down what is going on so far. Who are the end game couples, who's meant to be, and who's provided more evidence they should stay together. Answer no one.

Let's get to it. First of all, as much as some people want to avoid the truth about this. Suho is Kyung's, Prince Charming. She even has a fantasy about him being exactly just this to her. I mean it makes sense; everything he's done and been to her so far has been exactly what a typical fairy tale prince charming does to a girl. Let's look at all he did in episode 7 and 8 first.

Protection and Care

We start off with episode 7, seeing just how protective Suho gets. Now don't get me wrong, it could be seen as possessive and invasive but as someone who has watched Kyung and her past instances with men, Suho is actually a great person to her. Not only does he protect her at the karaoke place along with Seojun and others, not only is her safety his number one priority (as he always shows in the show) but he also ensures that her self-esteem, her emotions, and her respect are taken into consideration. He goes so far to lose sleep (he doesn't have to do this it's just what he does for her) just to make sure that she is apologised to by the bullies who frightened her. He knows she's probably still shaken up about it, probably still thinking and fearful about them showing up again and that she has had an extensive experience and trauma with bullies before. So for her to see the bully show up and offer her a peace of mind that he's not coming for her again is so great to see. Now Seojun doesn't have to do this, but when the bullying happened because of her connection to him, he kind of pushed it off and moved forward like it didn't matter. But to Kyung, it probably still mattered because it was a moment she was scared about and Suho couldn't sleep right if she didn't feel safe. That's goals, in my opinion of what a boyfriend is. It's sweet that even in the car he saw that she was shaken up after the events, he showed her warmth and care just by holding onto her hands, he may be cold sometimes and tsundere but that's only because he's been forced to become that way because of his family life and environment. Which brings me to...

Power and Reputation

Like a Prince, Suho has a lot of power and reputation. It's how he protects Kyung he uses his powers, his talents, his abilities to ensure the bully apologises and shows her respect. He wants to make sure she knows she deserves to be treated right because she hasn't let herself feel like she's worthy of respect for most of her life. After all,  people made her feel like her looks made her lower than that. I've mentioned in my previous analysis that Suho's reputation and power is both a gift and a curse. It's the mask he had to use to push people away when he thought he caused people to get hurt by being near him.

Again the teachers treat him differently because of the power he holds, due to his family background, this might be seen as a positive but it's actually a burden to him; there's a lot he had to go through because of this reputation, there's a lot of pressure for him to be this great person for people; like Seoyeon for example who Seojun blames him for not using his power and reputation to save his life, not just that he's also had his privacy invaded, we see in episode 8 when he and Kyung have the boat ride that he's been also traumatised by paparazzi when he was younger. He's always been seen just for his name and status and not who he really is. But what's great about prince charming here is that he uses this power and reputation each time to save Ju Kyung and show her the same devotion and respect that other people show him. 

The Disguise

Now the issue with episode 7 when it comes to both Suho and SeoJun is that they do this in disguise. They care for her all the time in secret, and as much as both their actions are sweet and caring and important as boyfriend material, it's quite annoying that they don't come to her and show her that they care.

Episode 7 is full of hesitation from Seojun who's coming to terms and realisation with his feelings, and episode 7 is full of misunderstandings with Suho. Suho is still slowly breaking down his walls, and his coldness has been a way to protect himself from people. So it makes sense that as much as he wants to show her, he cares he struggles with knowing how to do so. Both Seojun and Suho don't have relationship experience on how to treat the girl they like. And you see in episode 7 and 8 that Suho struggles to know how to ask her out and by the time he wants to show up and tell her, he cares he gets misunderstood and is pushed back yet again. What I like about both Seojun and Suho is that immediately they know how they feel for Kyung they try to tell her and show her. That's why I think as much as Suho is the one who was more likely to be with her at this moment, Seojun isn't far behind in taking her heart if something goes wrong.

What matters is although he first tried to be Tsundere with her, Suho changed and started to try and find her and show her he cared. He wanted to ask her out, to make her know he liked her, he stopped being cold to her after episode 7 and 8. So people crying about how cold he was to her makes no sense to me. He was cold before because that's who he is, and how he's grown up to be, but once he recognised he wanted her, he didn't do anything toxic or mean to her anymore. Instead, he stood by her side, waiting for an opportunity to show her he cared. He went lengths to protect, and show her warmth, and show her support each time she cried and needed him to. Seo Jun does that too,  which brings me to analysing these two scenes where SeoJun and Suho both are Prince Charming and the Knight in shining armour for Ju Kyung. As I keep repeating, both are reasonable boyfriend goals.

Comfort and Support 

One of my favourite moments this two episodes is both the crying scenes of Jukyung with the respective guy. Suho sees Kyung crying over her mum, throwing away her makeup and he also sees her beating her self up over her grades. What he does again makes me like him even more as her boyfriend, he knows she worked hard, so he makes her know that, he doesn't want her to lose her self esteem again because of what people say to her. Suho is always protecting Kyung's self-esteem; he wants her to value her self as important and useful. She scolds her self because of being dumb and ugly or whatnot and how people perceive her, and he's always on her side, making sure she knows that he doesn't see her like that. He commends her effort, and he likes her for who she is. That's why she falls for him.

Not only is he the one who takes care of her in her most vulnerable moments when she feels broken and worthless being ugly but he's also there to show her support when she feels dumb and stupid. He makes her know that she's not that, and he knows she's okay being her self. It's sweet. This is different with Seo Jun who probably makes her feel comfortable with who she is because they can bicker and be themselves with each other, but he also insults her and joins in the mocking (not meanly) of her grades and her looks. Suho always in her mind shows her unconditional support and care. He gets her ramen, and he even offers to buy her new makeup to make her stop crying. And she doesn't think she deserves him to do so because she can't fathom that he could like her. However, she still has hopes that he could because of all his actions and how much she wants him to despite situations.

Now with Seojun, he has his own moment to show her that care. She cries to him about being upset because Suho doesn't like her. He probably was going to confess to her when he met up with her, but he patiently takes care of her and wipes her tears and let's her go selflessly. It was also sweet. But it doesn't hold the same weight to Kyung the way Suho's actions does to her. Right now, Seojun is on the losing side because he doesn't know who she really is without her mask. Suho does, and he's had opportunities to show her he likes, respects and wants her without it. This is why he was always going to be the one who she gave her heart to.

Friendship and Comfort

But the basis of the love triangle is friendship. Kyung and Suho not only have this need to protect and care and be there for each other, but he also knows what she likes, reads and is obsessed with even when she tries to hide it from others. She doesn't want people to know she reads the comics she does, listens to the music she does, because it doesn't match her mask of beauty and gentleness, but Suho knows all that about her because they both like the same stuff. So it's not just forced romantic feelings out of the blue that these two have had moments for, but they've been building a friendship with each other from the start, the moment he saw her and helped her when she almost jumped off the ledge in her most broken state. He's always been the person who's seen her for who she is, and the most comfortable person to speak to and be with. Now with Seojun, there's also friendship and comfort, like siblings he's also the kind of person that brings out her louder self, and she feels normal with him and comfortable because she doesn't care how he views her. So again, he still has a chance to win her heart because he also is a friend she cherishes and notices.

Soojin and Suho

And it's weird and sad because everything Suho does for Kyung that I've mentioned he also does that for Soojin. He offers her the same friendship and support and comfort and warmth. He's also seen her and known her in her most broken times without her mask. It's sad to know that he probably is one of the happiest places for her to be, amidst all the trauma and abuse she receives in her life, he's probably someone she wants to latch to, to stay happy but she can't have him now because of JuKyung. This is why I feel we're foreboding a bit of a villain back story with her; I hope not because I don't want girl hate, but it does make sense if she does end up feeling she has to do something to ensure Suho doesn't leave her side. Because he's one of the most important sources of comfort to her, he makes her feel good. It's just sad that he didn't see her as that way.

Before I continue with the analysis, I want to bring up a mirror character for the couples in the show; JuKyung's mum and her dad. 

The problem with Kyung's mum

JuKyung's mum is a very frustrating character, and like all the adults in the show, she's lacking and also a negative person. She is callous and mean to people, especially her daughter, who she refuses to open her mind to listen to. She's not a monster, and she does love her daughter as shown when she is talking to her husband about wanting what's best for her and not seeing her as ugly, but her surface interactions with Kyung is a different story. It's ironic because her mum should be her most significant support and person to make her feel worthy since she went through the same thing her daughter went through. She's seen like Kyung as ugly, and people tell her this all the time. She managed to get a handsome husband which is something she holds on to but is insecure about. She keeps trying to control her husband by belittling all he does so that he doesn't feel above her or get distracted by other women.

It's why she's so adamant about kicking him out of her shop when he's selling candles because she noticed how women interact with him. I think the thing with her is that she used her grades to enter university, and that's where she met her husband and found her job, which she is known as the best. She wants Kyung to focus on her studies, not on how people perceive her because she thinks it's the way to secure a better life and way to be seen as worthy by others. Because she also struggled and didn't have belief in her self either. This is why she probably has built up this anger and need to criticise and put people down because they did that to her as they do to Kyung. It's her own mask and her own cover of trying to seem strong and worthy.  Why I'm seeing mirroring with them, and Kyung and Suho are because her husband dotes on her as shown in episode 8, he's just as protective and loving to her, but also he was a singer (we all know Suho is Leo).  The same unconditional, supportive and caring love that her dad shows her mum is the same Suho shows Kyung. I think that's why we saw their interaction in episode 8.

Another couple that brings up the same themes in reverse is Hee Kyung and the teacher. Hee Kyung has decided the teacher is who she wants, she appreciates him and shows him that she sees him as hardworking and necessary despite him feeling worthless because he's in debt. He tries to push her away because of his lack of self-esteem (something I think Kyung will end up doing to Suho, she'll try to hide their relationship because she doesn't feel worthy being his girlfriend etc.) but Hee Kyung proceeds to keep on showing him (same steps that Suho was told to do to show Kyung how he feels) that she's there for him and loves him for who he is.

Prince Charming and The Ugly Duckling

That's why episode 8 is focused on the ugly duckling. People probably brushed it off, but clues were pointing to it. Kyung calls her self the ugly duckling, and there's an ugly vengeful ghost who wasn't loved because of her looks by her husband that is out to find a new face to cover up her ugliness. It's not the fairytale of the ugly duckling that matters, but just the mental anguish in the tale the ugly duckling suffered from because of being seen as different and ugly. It's the same fears and pain that Kyung goes through this episode. She regresses from believing that Suho could possibly view her as a love interest because of Soo Jin being in his life. Soo-Jin is the pretty one, is the worthy one because she's just as smart, rich and good looking as Suho. She ends up going through the same anguish that both the ghost, ugly duckling go through feeling disappointed, hurt, frustrated with the people around them because of how they view themselves. Both the ghost who ends her life because she's felt rejected and brutally treated because of how she was born, and the ugly duckling who gets rejected, hurt, bullied and pushed away almost to his own mental death are symbols of how Kyung views her self, and what she was the most frustrated about when she cried to Suho.

It broke her to realise that she couldn't be with someone like him because she was less than Soo Jin even though he and her had something. It probably was all she thought was the reason she couldn't chase after and let him know how she felt. Plus the idea of losing this new friendship blooming with Soojin and Suho, when she didn't used to have people like them in her life before. Kyung broke down because of the realisation about how unfair she felt life was to her because of how she was born. She was going lengths to cover up who she was the whole trip, and Suho had been there protecting her and caring for her and seeing her for who she is but at the end of the day he was always going to be more in love with Soo Jin because she was the better person.

Which is why again Suho without knowing or meaning to shows up to show Kyung he cares for her, for who she is, and he sees her the opposite of how she's been made to feel about her self. He buys her the swan necklace. And something touched my heart when I saw it. Like it's just like him to do that when focusing on Kyung feeling and telling her self she's the ugly duckling worthless, and below others, actually, Suho sees her as the swan, he knows who she really is, he likes he for who she really is, and he's there to remind her that the ugly duckling wasn't ugly at all but was a different species and was beautiful once he matured. He was always meant to be a swan.

And Suho buying that necklace symbolises his thoughts towards Kyung, what he does for her is just remind her that even without makeup she's still worthy and she's above the rest to him. It's the same things he's done the whole episode 7-8; he fights to show her she's meant to be respected, meant to be loved (when her mum doesn't show her that), meant to be valued and meant to be seen for who she is. That's why he was always going to be the one to end up with her by the end of this episode.

Boyfriend Material

Like I said Seojun's bracelet is sweet because it's all he can give and so it's also good because he's just again being himself and being authentic towards her. For him and Kyung, it's always authenticity, comfort and warmth. But when it comes to Suho it's more than that, he sees her. He makes her love her self, not because he likes her don't get me wrong she doesn't need a guy to make her love her self, but he's the person who shows up as a reminder, the person behind the scenes who's always making her realise that she's just okay being her self. That's why she calls him a fairytale. In the end it's nice to have a prince who's rich (the necklace was expensive), powerful, and protective but Suho is more than just that to Kyung, he's her strength, her support and the one person who makes her feel good about being her self. That's enough for her.  

So as much as Seojun is a great boyfriend material he doesn't have the same impact on JuKyung right now. He doesn't know the real her, even though he is great and caring and warm with her. He is just as sweet and protecting as Suho, but he's just a little bit too late. From the first time, Suho and Kyung met on that rooftop they meant more to each other. It's not just Suho who is Kyung's safe space, warmth, support etc., Kyung does the same thing for him it's vice versa, she makes him break down his walls, be vulnerable, also feel worthy (because remember he hated himself because of Seoyeon's loss). She also makes him feel seen and reminds him; he's also okay as his true self. They both do this for each other. That's why this hate towards Suho for his possessive, creepy, obsessive nature (as people call it), is uncalled for.

Suho has been made to be the cold tsundere lead because he struggles with PTSD. Yes, he needs therapy, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have a good impact on Kyung, he's not toxic to her, he's actually good for her, and he is the only person after everything we've seen her go through this whole show that makes sense to be the one that she loves.  There's still a lot of things they still have to heal from and deal with to get to the end, and perhaps Seojun would find a way to do more for her than Suho has done so far, but for now, Suho and Kyung are written to be each other's person so let's see what happens next.

I really mean it when I say I don't care about this love triangle. I'm only following what the show writer and director is showing, what they are making me see. Could it be different in the webtoon and I'd support Seojun more yes, but webtoon readers; it's clear that the writers have made Suho the person they think is for Kyung, and they've stolen Seojun's moments because of this, is it right? No, of course not. But it doesn't mean the show isn't good or that Suho is a monster or whatnot. It just means you have to decide if the show is worth watching if you can't deal with what they did with it. The amount of hate Suho receives in the tags is just hypocritical in my opinion, when Seojun and Suho do the same thing with Kyung. They're both as possessive and as protective and they both have their flaws. They're both sweet to her, and caring. No one is wrong, or right as the end game. But don't be too irrational when it comes to your bias. That's all I'm saying. Anyways apart from the love triangle, True Beauty continues to be a light watch that I love and enjoy, I love the relationships and the psychological conversations that can be derived from the show. I've been through what Kyung has gone through, and I've gone through moments of seeing my self as worthless and meaningless because of how society views me or has made me think about my self. That's why I appreciate her relationship with Suho and Seojun. I really relate to her dramatics and her break downs, and I like this show for being not just light at times but also serious when it talks about what the characters are dealing with psychologically. Anway that's my analysis. Let's see what next episode brings.  

[magicaththedemigod]

an extensive analysis of “the song of achilles” by madeline miller

Or: things I noticed and couldn't keep to myself.

Because I just finished reading it and have many feelings about it, I've decided to compile all of them into a very lengthy Tumblr post.

This will be broken up into three parts:

1. Foreshadowing

2. Dramatic (and regular) Irony

3. Fatal Flaws

1. Foreshadowing

Miller does such a delightful job with foreshadowing. The number of quotes I could be spitting at you right now... but I digress. The main job of foreshadowing, especially in a tragedy like "The Song of Achilles," is to set the characters up for their tragedy.

What I like most about how Miller goes about it in this book is that she doesn't attempt to pull a shocking twist out of nowhere; instead, she takes an approach which allows the reader to fully marinate in their despair.

For example, this quote:

Achilles shook his head, impatiently. "But this was a greater punishment for her. It was not fair of them." "There is no law that gods must be fair, Achilles," Chiron said. "And perhaps it is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone. Do you think?"

Let's take a moment and unpack some of this. For context, this is a conversation between Patroclus, Achilles, and their mentor Chiron. They're discussing the tale of Heracles, who's driven to madness and ends up killing his own wife and kids.

From reading the book, (SPOILER ALERT) you know that Achilles' own pride and honor end up forcing Patroclus to impersonate him in order to save the Greek army, and in doing so is killed by Hector. The fact that Chiron directs this question, "And perhaps it is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone. Do you think?" to Achilles, who is left behind after Patroclus' death is such delightful foreshadowing that I almost threw the book across the room when I first read it.

Achilles slumps into such a depression after Patroclus dies (really, after he kills Patroclus with his own fatal flaw), that he even loses the ability to care about his fame or honor anymore. He feels the greater grief, so to speak.

Even after he dies, Patroclus is left behind, unable to rest properly because they never put his name on the tomb. In that sense, Patroclus is then the one left behind, experiencing loneliness and grief.

The book is full of little hints like this, and that's part of why it's almost torture to read as someone who knows how the Iliad goes. As I said before: the foreshadowing in this book is meant to have the reader in pain from the beginning because you know nothing is going to work out in the end.

2. Dramatic (and regular) Irony

Yes, that's right. I'm about to rip into your soul.

Probably one of the biggest parts of classical Greek myths is dramatic irony (the audience knowing something the characters don't). In plays, the ending is almost always announced before the play begins. In fact, the audience most likely already knows the story from previous tellings or just general knowledge. It makes sense that it would be one of the biggest players in "The Song of Achilles."

As usual, let's start with a quote:

His eyes opened. "Name one hero who was happy." I considered. Heracles went mad and killed his family; Theseus lost his bride and father; Jason's children and new wife were murdered by his old; Bellerophon killed the Chimera but was crippled by the fall from Pegasus' back. "You can't." He was sitting up now, leaning forward. "I can't." "I know. They never let you be famous and happy." He lifted an eyebrow. "I'll tell you a secret." "Tell me." I loved it when he was like this. "I'm going to be the first." He took my palm and held it to his. "Swear it." "Why me?" "Because you're the reason. Swear it." "I swear it," I said, lost in the high color of his cheeks, the flame in his eyes. "I swear it," he echoed. We sat like that a moment, hands touching. He grinned. "I feel like I could eat the world raw."

First of all: cute. Second of all: wow, so much pain.

As you know, Achilles is the opposite of happy at the end of the book (well, maybe after they die, but we'll get to that later). Though he swears it here with Patroclus, the two of them make decisions that ultimately lead to their downfall: Achilles decides to abandon the Greeks after they slighted his honor, Patroclus decides to help them even if it means risking his life, and Achilles lets him do it.

So let's talk about dramatic irony. The irony here is that you know, maybe just from this exchange alone, that Achilles isn't going to be the first happy hero. You know there is a war coming, know that Achilles and his famous heel will get himself killed. You might also know at this point that Patroclus will die first and send Achilles spiraling into grief before that happens.

It's painful, truly. Achilles spends his last days in utter agony, wanting to die but unable to kill himself, and Patroclus can only watch on as a ghost (spirit?). Even when Achilles does die and his ashes are put into their urn (seriously, how did any scholar ever think they weren't lovers?), they still have to wait to be reunited.

But there's still more. Consider these lines:

Hector's eyes are wide, but he will run no longer. He says, "Grant me this. Give my body to my family, when you have killed me." Achilles makes a sound like choking. "There are no bargains between lions and men. I will kill you and eat you raw."

Sound familiar? That's right: "I will kill you and eat you raw" sounds an awful lot like "I feel like I could eat the world raw," doesn't it? Another parallel from Miller: one from a time of happiness, the other from a time of extreme grief. However painful it is, I really live for connections like that.

And I've got one more for you:

Achilles shook his head. "Never. He is brave and strong, but that is all. He would break against Hector like water on a rock. So. It is me, or no one." "You will not do it." I tried not to let it sound like begging. "No." He was quiet a moment. "But I can see it. That's the strange thing. Like in a dream. I can see myself throwing the spear, see him fall. I walk up to the body and stand over it." Dread rose in my chest. I took a breath, forced it away. "And then what?" "That's the strangest of all. I look down at his blood and know my death is coming. But in the dream I do not mind. What I feel, most of all, is relief." "Do you think it can be prophecy?" The questions seemed to make him self-conscious. He shook his head. "No. I think it is nothing at all. A daydream." I forced my voice to match his in lightness. "I'm sure you're right. After all, Hector hasn't done anything to you."

See where I'm going with this? I don't think I need to explain this one.

3. Fatal Flaws

That's right, one of the most essential pieces for a tragedy: hamartia. For those who might not know, hamartia is the fatal flaw that ultimately leads to the downfall of a tragic hero or heroine. In every single piece of classical greek writing, if the story is a tragedy, the main character will have a fatal flaw that makes it so.

Take Achilles:

I looked at the stone of his face, and despaired. “If you love me-”

“No!” His face was stiff with tension. “I cannot! If I yield, Agamemnon can dishonor me whenever he wishes. The kings will not respect me, nor the men!” He was breathless, as though he had run far. “Do you think I wish them all to die? But I cannot. I cannot! I will not let them take this from me!”

You probably already know what his fatal flaw is: pride. He needs the fame, needs the glorious memory of his deeds to live on forever, so badly that he is willing to sacrifice his life and what might’ve been a fulfilling and long life with Patroclus out of the limelight. His fatal flaw is what spurs each of his actions in the later half of the book, including the moment where he decides to leave the Greeks to their deaths for slandering him.

Even Patroclus has a fatal flaw: his love for Achilles.

That night I lay in bed beside Achilles. His face is innocent, sleep-smoothed and sweetly boyish. I love to see it. This is his truest self, earnest and guileless, full of mischief but without malice. He is lost in Agamemnon and Odysseus’ wily double meanings, their lies and games of power. They have confounded him, tied him to a stake and baited him. I stroke the soft skin of his forehead. I would untie him if I could. If he would let me.

Though riding into the center of the fighting, especially dressed as Achilles, will make Patroclus the prime target, he decides to do it anyway. And not out of fear for Achilles’s life; he knows how important his pride and reputation is to him, and out of desperation will do anything to keep Achilles from being devastated when it doesn’t work out for him.

(Honestly, this is the part where I start to hate Achilles for doing this to Patroclus... it’s like he doesn’t even consider Patroclus his equal and does everything without consulting him.)

Of course, Agamemnon has a fatal flaw as well. He is like the mirror image of Achilles, so proud and stubborn, righteous and arrogant. However, he is the darker image, the one that revels in taking things by force and, of course, raping women like Briseis. He serves as a poignant foil for Achilles, highlighting all the ways the traits they share can easily become corrupted. It’s part of why this novel works so well.

I hope you all enjoyed this book as much as I did. Truthfully, I did have a few problems with it, but I wanted to trying picking it apart anyway. And if you haven’t read the song of achilles... what are you doing reading these spoilers?? 

[yumgrapejuice]

An analysis on Ranboo’s lore playlist

okay y’all first of all, ranboo has a killer taste, i love him, and second, i couldn’t resist. i’m an analyst by nature. am i looking too deep into some things? did ranboo maybe choose some songs purely for the vibe? perhaps. do i care? no. let me have my fun.

I’m gonna drop my own analysis/interpretation based on these songs but feel free do use this yourself if you want!! And also feel free to disagree/correct me on anything!! I’m not a professional musical analyst lol and I did take some inspiration from already existing interpretations for the more lyrical songs.

here’s the playlist btw

“Introduction to the Snow”—introduction to the album. Fitting for the playlist’s beginning, seeing the tone. It’s mostly referencing (self-imposed) isolation.

“Dream Sweet in Sea Major”—this Miracle Music’s whole album is about dreams and reality, how they clash, loneliness and the wish to be close to someone, yet still remaining isolated. Very whimsical, metaphorical, melodic, and it has this vibe as if on the edge of consciousness. I’d say it fits quite well with c!Ranboo’s general vibe. This song in particular deals with sleepwalking(ha)/being in a dreamlike state, the line between what’s real and what’s not blurred.

“The Mind Electric”—oh this one fits Ranboo extremely well. First part is in reverse, the second in normal (mirroring), and it can get quite unsettling. Like you’re not sure what’s happening with the instrumentals, many different voices. Again, very metaphorical, but to put it shortly, the protagonist is being judged for a crime they’ve committed and, in their defence, they say: “Father, your honor, may I explain, my brain has claimed its glory over me; I’ve a good heart albeit insane”. They get “condemned to the infirmary” for that, where electric shock is used on them as a form of “therapy”. As a result, the protagonist loses grip on reality and themselves and truly does go insane. They beg for mercy and sympathy, but there’s no one to help them. “Someone help me; Understand what's going on inside my mind; Doctor I can't tell if I'm not me”—need I say more, really?

“Live and Let Die”—the phrase “live and let die” means to live your life how you wish and let others live how they wish without interfering. At first, you live by the phrase “live and let live”, meaning you have your ideals and you try to change the lives of others according to them, but as life progresses, you stop caring as much/try to distance yourself from others’ business.

“Turn the Lights Off”—dreams and nightmares. Mildly foreboding yet energetic. The actual meaning is about growing up (transition from childhood to adulthood), but we can take some other interpretations that’d fit with Ranboo’s character better. This Tally Hall’s album deals with differences, black and white, and how there shouldn’t be a divide between them. In this song, there are some noteworthy lines that I’d like to mention:

- “Bend the nightmare, you control it; Artful dodger, easy does it”—lucid dreaming, you have to be careful with it so as to not lose control.

- “Shut the closet, get under the covers”—you’re afraid of something and instead of facing it and seeing whether there even is something to be afraid of, you hide.

- “Turn the lights off”—confront your fears. It can also mean that in the dark, there’s no differences between people, going back to the album’s meaning.

- “And everybody wants to get evil tonight; But all good devils masquerade under the light”—this could mean that everyone has a darker part of themselves but those who actually indulge in their dark tendencies do so in plain sight by pretending to be someone else.

“Ruler of Everything”—the main theme here is time and how it’s the “ruler of everything”; time doesn’t matter about where it goes, and it will never stop. The second verse is most interesting to me—there are two singers, man and time, but for the sake of interpretation let’s just see it as two voices. One is obsessed about being liked, fitting in, constantly asking for reaffirmation (“Do you like how I walk? Do you like how I talk?”), while the second criticizes the first (“You practice your mannerisms into the wall”). They argue—”I’ve been you, I know you, your facade is scam; You know you’re making me cry, this is the way that I am”. The second is calling out the first for not being honest to himself. Tone is lighthearted but with an edge of unease.

“Merry-Go-Round of Life”—from Howl’s Moving Castle soundtrack. The title’s self-explanatory, I’d say.

“Killer Queen”—this one’s a harder one to interpret in regards to Ranboo lol. The song is about, based on an interview with Mercury, a high class woman that likes to indulge in her various desires (mostly sexual). I would doubt that’s what Ranboo was going for, so! Perhaps about a person that has no regards for their reputation and instead does whatever they feel like it? They have a certain image but still act however they like. Yeah, not too sure about this one :’) But that’s what I’ll go with for my later analysis.

“Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked”—quite straightforward. A person that performs bad deeds has reasons for them. Not excuses, but explanations, and you can sympathize with it. We all do “bad” things for one reason or the other, and, in the end, we’re all just trying to get by. Once again, plays into the theme of there not being a clear distinction between good and bad.

“The Bidding”—another harder one to interpret. On the surface, it’s about an auction where men are trying to sell themselves to women. They all present themselves in different images, and it’s remarked that the women care less about the date and more about the prospect of it, the pretty words. The date, actually, ends up being disappointing. Could be about expectations. Some men outright admit they’re assholes so whoever chooses them should know that. People can tell you what their intentions are from the start so if you end up hurt, you have no one else to blame but yourself.

“A Mask of My Own Face”—another interesting one! Unusual instruments, strong beat. They’re singing about how they have a desire to pretend to be someone else while secretly still being themselves. “I’d rob my own apartment and I wouldn’t give a damn; I’d blame it on the person that nobody knows I am”—implying they have no regard for their own livelihood and are just out to have some fun. Plus, that no one would be aware it’s all an act. “I'd wear it on Thanksgiving and I'd laugh in the parade; At all the people hissing, knowing I'm the one they hate”—they take delight in the idea of upsetting others and them not knowing it’s actually the singer that they should be hissing. “And at the big finale I would tear my face away; And smile as they grip their own and try to do the same”—everyone wears masks, and this person implies that their mask and their true self is not different from each other while others’ are.

“Stardust Crusaders”—soundtrack from Jojo. Action-packed? idk never seen it sorry lol

“I Can’t Decide”—oh, this one’s a doozy! One of the ones that do not fit c!Ranboo at all, but that’s what makes it interesting. A classic, the singer is out to have fun, very lighthearted and yet they’re singing about murder. The protagonist here is clearly mentally unwell and they’re indecisive whether they should let their enemy/toy/(up to interpretation) live or not. Some curious lines:

- “It’s not easy having yourself a good time”—in the context of the song, that “good time” implies something wicked.

- “I’m not a gangster tonight, don’t wanna be the bad guy, I’m just a loner, baby, and now you’ve got in my way”—they don’t view themselves as “bad”, however, the next two lines are paradoxal—the singer says they’re alone and yet decide to “mess around” with whoever comes up in their life.

- “No wonder why my heart feels dead inside, it’s hard and cold and petrified”—signifying lack of empathy.

- “It’s a bitch convincing people to like you”—they don’t actually want to do that and see it as a bother.

“Stranded Lullaby”—back to Miracle Musical, back to the theme of isolation. Super lyrical, super musical. They talk about how their memories float around aimlessly in their head, a sea, and may sometimes get lost. The protagonist, a sailor, is losing touch with reality and can’t tell apart what’s a dream anymore and what’s not. They question what they’re going through and why.

“Hidden In The Sand”—a song about longing, in my eyes. The protagonist sings about how “you” love things and how he wishes to love the same things, in the end admitting that “all I’ve wanted was you”. They don’t wish to be separated, they wish to have someone in their life that they could love.

“Now I’m Here”—euphoric. They sing about how they’re alive again, thanks to one specific person. I’m not gonna go too much into this one (partly because it’s a more difficult one for me again, partly because it’s Queen and I don’t wanna uhh talk nonsense on accident lol), but what I got from it is that when one one else saw them, someone did, and they made them “live again”, and now as a result the protagonist is devoted to them.

“&”—really highlights Tally Hall’s album’s theme of black and white and that there shouldn’t be a divide. The repetition of comparing opposites is present throughout the entire song (Weak & Strong & Wet & Dry…) and it’s heavily implied we should “say goodnight” to this mindset. But people love to choose sides, put things into good or bad categories. By the line “They took a lesson from their fathers” it’s implied that people don’t develop this mindset by themselves and are rather influenced by others around them. The whole album is titled “Good & Evil” and Tally Hall examines and criticizes this idea. If we keep dividing people into good and bad, eventually, we’ll all destroy ourselves.

“I’m Gonna Win”—a song about someone who’s struggling to get by. “Sometimes it can seem like a merciless dream”—life can get really hard and the protagonist wonders “what’s really worthwhile”. In the chorus, whoever, they declare that they’re “gonna win” no matter what. They might get “bloody and bruised” but they won’t give up until they “won’t be abused” and until they’re “laughing alone”. No matter how hard life/others kick them down, they’ll keep going. By the lines “It’s hard to be charming and smart and disarming; It’s hard to pretend you’re the best; It’s hard to fulfill everyone’s expectations; It’s hard to keep up with the rest” it’s implied that they find it tiresome to keep up appearances and be liked. It’s challenging to always fit everyone’s expectations, but they’ll continue doing whatever they have to to “win”.

if ranboo ever adds more songs to his playlist, i may add them here too :) 

[fresh-prince-of-denmark]

Cyberpunk 2077 Literary Analysis Pt 7: Leave me Alone, Hemingway, You’re Supposed to be Dead

Surprise bitch I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.

Cyberpunk spoilers ahead!

Cyberpunk meta literary analysis masterpost here 

Okay, so I thought I would be done with this, but it kinda feels like Hemingway has me by the left asscheek and won’t let me go as of late. So here we are: Cyberpunk literature meta-analysis part 7: For Whom the Bell Tolls

Hemingway comes up a few times in Cyberpunk, too many times to ignore. It’s not surprising, really. We know that Johnny is actually a pretty well-read guy from some of his passing comments, and if I had to guess, he’d probably really connect to Hemingway. In fact, if you play Johnny’s ending with Rogue, the final quest is called “For Whom the Bell Tolls” (which is also cool since it keeps the theme of all the missions being song titles, as this is also a Metallica song). But for once, this analysis isn’t entirely about Johnny or V. Hopefully this rings a bell (pun intended), as we’re very explicitly told who else really connected to Hemingway.  

Jackie Wells.

During the quest Heroes, Mama Wells will ask you to go through Jackie’s garage to find something for the ofrenda. One option is a book, For Whom the Bell Tolls by Earnest Hemingway. Misty will comment that he used to read it before a big job, and that it was important to him. If you choose to bring the book for the ofrenda, V will “read from the book” (I put this in quotes because the passage they read has actually been misattributed, it is a Hemingway quote, but not from FWTBT, rather from another of his works titled “Men at War”):

“When you go to war as a boy, you have a great illusion of immortality. Other people get killed, not you... Then, when you are badly wounded the first time, you lose that illusion, and you know it can happen to you.”

The majority of our main characters start out as The Fool, naive and feeling like they’re on top of the world, the kind of hubris that can only come with youth. Yet, like Hemingway says, it takes a bullet to give one a dose of reality.

For Whom the Bell Tolls is a story of war. Our protagonist, Robert Jordan (I’d be really interested to know if Johnny’s birth name, Robert John Linder, was inspired by this), leaves his cushy job as a college instructor in the United States to join the Republican side in the Spanish Civil War. Robert begins the novel fairly bland; he has no real friends, no real family, and he feels completely disconnected from the world. In all honesty, he’s boring. Like, if wet cardboard were a person. He doesn’t really care if he lives or dies, not because he’s a badass, but because he really doesn’t have anything to lose. No passion, no connections, nothing he loves that ties him to this earth despite the fact that he is a man of such strong convictions that he willingly joins this war. Robert is tasked with destroying a bridge, meeting comrades of varying philosophies along the way, who become a kind of found family to him. Despite going out of his way to avoid making connections, he falls in love, not just with the love interest Maria, but with his friends, finally giving him something worth fighting for, something connecting him to this life. The novel concludes as the group finally blow up the bridge (a task done in vain, since the Republican side has ultimately sustained more losses than the Fascists), and Robert is injured. He convinces the others to leave him behind so he can buy them time to escape. The novel ends just as it begins; our protagonist lying in wait in a forest, gun in hand, “heart to the ground,” on a bed of pine needles. (For more on cycles/mirrors/reflections, see here).

While there’s a much larger political message here that could parallel the themes of Cyberpunk, I want to focus more on the philosophical side, as it ties in with my previous analysis much more coherently. The biggest theme of this novel is about how interpersonal relationships are what matter most in this life, which is summarized very nicely by the poem by John Donne which not only lends the novel it’s name, but serves as it’s opening epitaph:

No man is an island,

Entire of itself.

Each is a piece of the continent,

A part of the main.

If a clod be washed away by the sea,

Europe is the less.

As well as if a promontory were.

As well as if a manor of thine own

Or of thine friend's were.

Each man's death diminishes me,

For I am involved in mankind.

Therefore, send not to know

For whom the bell tolls,

It tolls for thee.

This poem and the overall meaning of the book work on two levels. The most obvious is that we all die one day, that mortality is fleeting. But on another level, No man is an island. Our identity is tied within our communities, those that love us, and those we live for. “Therefore, send not to know/For whom the bell tolls/It tolls for thee.” Each time a person dies, a piece of all those who loved them dies with them. Funerals are not just for the deceased, but for us, a chance to bury the pieces of ourselves that died with them. “Each is a piece of the continent/Apart of the main/If a clod be washed away by the sea/Europe is the less.”

Johnny is incredibly similar to Robert Jordan. Despite knowing a lot of people and having a lot of connections, Johnny is not particularly loved, and that feeling is mutual. He even tells V that they are the only person who knows him that that doesn’t hate his guts. Both Robert and Johnny are men who base their morals and identity solely on principal and ideals; standing up for what is right, fighting against oppression, rebellion, but that passion is not borne from interpersonal relationships and connections. It is made of hate of the world, not love of their fellow man. This leads to one of Johnny’s fatal flaws; he did not fear death, because he did not feel as if he had anything to lose. He was consumed and driven by hate, not love, leading to all of his failed relationships. Had Johnny something to lose, he may not have taken all of the stupid the risks he did, acting as if he did not care about his own life.

V, in many ways, parallels Maria, Robert’s love interest in the novel. While Robert salvation lies in the love he has for all of his newfound friends, the main focus is on the love interest, Maria. Here’s an interesting bit of dialogue between Maria and Robert:

"Now, feel. I am thee and thou art me and all of one is the other. And I love thee, oh, I love thee so. Are you not truly one? Canst thou not feel it?"

"Yes," he said, "it is true."

"And feel now. Thou hast no heart but mine."

"Nor any other legs, nor feet, nor of the body."

"But we are different," she said. "I would have us exactly the same."

"You do not mean that." (20.66-71)

In this moment, Robert and Maria are talking about how they feel as if they have fused into the same person, as if they share a body. Yet there is a key difference in how they view their relationship: Maria wishes that they were exactly the same, while Robert states that she doesn’t mean that. Similarly, while Johnny seems to enjoy the growth he and V provide one another, his greatest fear is V/himself being changed into something they are not. Hmmmm….

Johnny and V are very different people by the end of Cyberpunk, finding meaning in relationships just as Robert has. For V, this means Judy, River, Panem, Kerry, Misty, Vik, etc. And for Johnny, this means V, and by extension, all of the people who make up V’s identity through their love and friendship. Despite dying and rising again as lines of code, V is able to finally show Johnny what it means to be human. His journey, I believe, can be accurate summed up by this quote from the novel:

“This was the greatest gift that he had, the talent that fitted him for war; that ability not to ignore but to despise whatever bad ending there could be. This quality was destroyed by too much responsibility for others or the necessity of undertaking something ill planned or badly conceived. For in such things the bad ending, failure, could not be ignored. It was not simply a possibility of harm to one's self, which could be ignored. He knew he himself was nothing, and he knew death was nothing. He knew that truly, as truly as he knew anything. In the last few days he had learned that he himself, with another person, could be everything. But inside himself he knew that this was the exception. That we have had, he thought. In that I have been most fortunate. That was given to me, perhaps, because I never asked for it. That cannot be taken away nor lost. But that is over and done with now on this morning and what there is to do now is our work.”

In addition, Robert’s final conversation with Maria as he is convincing the others to leave him behind so he can buy them time to escape is nearly identical to Johnny and V’s final conversation:

"Listen to this well, rabbit," he said. He knew there was a great hurry and he was sweating very much, but this had to be said and understood. "Thou wilt go now, rabbit. But I go with thee. As long as there is one of us there is both of us. Do you understand?" (43.319)

Here, Robert is telling Maria that because they are the same, only one of them needs to survive in order for them both to live. Compare that to what Johnny tells V:

V: For fucks sake, defend yourself! You’re not even trying!

Johnny: Hmm…sounds kind of familiar. We know that attitude. See, V? Stayin’ with you whether you like it or not.”

This scene is further paralleled by the fact that V crosses a bridge to reach Mikoshi, which is set to be destroyed, just as Robert was tasked with destroying the bridge. Furthermore, in the Suicide ending, the overall theme is about how V “never realized just how many friends they had.” Friends who, in all other endings, were willing to die for V, as losing them meant a piece of themselves dying with them. Similarly, Robert considers killing himself as his friends escape, as the pain of his injury becomes too much to bear. However, he is comforted knowing that his sacrifice will mean that they live, telling himself, "I don't mind this at all now they are away.” Despite now having something to live for, like Johnny, they are still able to brave their deaths as now they have been given meaning. And not just any meaning; love. No longer hate, or rage, or blind idealism. Love. 

This is the overall message of Cyberpunk: maybe you won’t change the world. Maybe you won’t win the war. Maybe your sacrifice isn’t going to change history. Maybe, in the grand scheme of the universe, you don’t matter, and you won’t ever be a legend. But you do matter to the people in your life. No man is an island. We were made to be in each other’s lives, to love one another, to change one another for the better. And that’s what life is all about.

[mariaiscrafting]

Cishet dnf stans are without fail just super gross about it. I've cultivated my tumblr sphere to be so queer that I genuinely forgot how terrible cishets are about mlm ships they deem "attractive". Cishets making homophobic "jokes"........bro that's just homophobia.

I feel like that's so much easier on Tumblr anyways since Tumblr is so disproportionately queer. I can actually stand to follow Dream stans (*cough* looking at you Angel *cough*), George pfps, and some DNFers here because they're mostly queer. Probably the main reason I stopped using Twitter was actually because of all the cishet DNF shippers. I think there's just something about being queer that makes you more understanding of comp het, queer fetishization, being treated as Other, being psychoanalyzed like a lab specimen, and being potentially outed. Subsequently, queer shippers are simply less likely to take DNF shipping a step too far...

There are lots of ways in which cishet shippers take it a step too far. One common thing is fetishization. Contrary to popular-anti belief, not every shipper is fetishizing mlm relationships. But a lot of them are. Fetishization is contingent on a foundational belief that one is consuming media about a certain romantic/sexual dynamic because they find it attractive. To fetishize is to treat a ship as Other, as lesser or more or weirder or "special" or whatever. If one wouldn't treat a het relationship the same way as they do the mlm relationship they're theorizing about, gushing about, drawing about, writing about, etc., then one should reexamine the reasons one is even shipping them, because the likely answer is fetishizing reasons. Another way shippers take it too far is their creepy fascination with all the intricacies of DNF. Like, the analysis of every voice inflection, every mention of the other, every moment they're together, every smile and laugh and facial expression. It's so beyond creepy. This isn't how you treat real life humans. This isn't how you treat people you respect. This is how you treat fictional characters, or toys, or specimens you're curious about. It's absurd.

But those are all things I've talked about a hundred times on this blog. I'm glad I have been able to, too, because it seems so impossible to get through to Twitter DNFers compared to Tumblr DNFers, partially because of the character limit and partially because of what mcyttwt stan culture is like (stubborn, hardheaded, overly protective, significantly more obsessive, etc).

Regarding homophobic jokes... I think a lot of cishet shippers think they can't be homophobic if they are shipping an mlm pairing. Because if you're so open to gay people that you ship them, how could you possibly be homophobic? Isn't that the opposite of homophobia? To that, I respond the same way I respond to cishet men who claim they're not lesbophobic because they like lesbian porn and white people who claim they're not racist because they have black friends and men who claim they're not misogynistic because they love their daughters or wives; bigotry is not solely enacted upon with explicit hatred. Bigotry can manifest itself in many ways, and in the 21st Century, most often that is in subtle ways that implicate one's own view of minorities/oppressed groups as distinctly "Other." You can have a fascination, love, or adoration for an oppressed group, and still be bigoted against them. Love /=/ the inability to be racist, homophobic, sexist, etc. A failure to accept criticism and recognize one's own propensity for homophobia will only lead to making the same homophobic remarks/jokes, failing to eradicate one's own subconscious beliefs that led to one's homophobia (e.g., comp het), and stagnation in one's personal growth.

And yes, if you can’t understand how treating DNF like this obsession, this other-than-human idealized fasion, is homophobic, then you are one of these subtlely bigoted people, and I am begging you to pause, step back, and self-reflect, please.

As always, the usual disclaimers apply. First, not all cishet DNF shippers cross a line in their shipping. If you read this and you don't know if this applies to you, it's important for you to pause and reflect on your manner of shipping. Recognizing when we do wrong is the first step in eradicating homophobia and fetishization. Second of all, for those who don't know what prompted this ask, here is a link to the half-joke post of mine from a few hours ago. Third of all, I am never an expert on any of the discourse I engage in. I'm simply providing my opinion. Fourth of all, this is not meant to be hateful. Yes, I come from a place of extreme frustration and exhaustion towards cishet shippers, but I still think there is capability for growth within the mlm shipping community. I am a DNFer, just a queer one; I read DNF fics, I love DNF art, and I watch DNF compilations. I, too, gush whenever Dream and George act fond of each other. I'm not an anti; I just like to criticize the communities I am a part of because I love the spaces they provide for me and want them to grow and improve through self-reflection and critical analysis. Positive change always starts from within.

Anyways, if you're interested in my other random rants about related issues: here is one of my original takes on DNFers crossing lines they shouldn't and dehumanizing DNF for their own enjoyment, here is a more general take of mine about reading into DNF dynamics with empathy, here is my thing with fetishization (thank you Angel for the input), and here is a long-ass post with queer perspectives on DNF shipping (thank you Xen for the input).

As always, reminder to blacklist /neg or #discourse if you don’t want to see posts like this from me. Take care of yourselves <3

[linkspooky]

Annie Runs Away (Again).

Annie has suddenly decided she’s a pacifist. Annie is leaving on a journey of self discovery. Perfect timing. You take all the time you need. It’s not like the world’s ending or anything. 

Just kidding. Annie’s not actually acting any different than she usually acts. I’ve said this before, but Annie and Armin are characters who continually exhibit regression rather than development. If you remain the same person more or less throughout the story, that’s not suddenly going to change without impetus. You’re always just the same person, even at the end of the world. 

An analysis on Annie and Armin’s failings under the cut. How they parallel Eremika, and why they can’t get close. 

1. But That’s None of My Business

Let’s bring out my handy dandy Want / Need chart again. 

Want

: something your character desires, because they believe it’ll improve their happiness.

Need

: the lesson they need to learn to overcome their inner struggle and achieve true happiness.

Annie has run away again and again throughout her entire arc. 

Annie’s a survivalist. Her own life comes before anybody else’s. When the chips are down, Annie will always choose to run away and protect herself. When things get hard her response is essentially to find some way to escape, and insist that the ongoing conflcit has nothing to do with her therefore there’s no reason for her to be personally invested. 

The entire tunnel scene is symbolic for this. All Annie had to do was make a choice to confront what she had done. She had to choose to walk into a situation that would be unsafe and even potentially compromise her. 

There was a chance, but Annie can’t even walk into a situation where she’s potentially unsafe. She can’t handle any confrontation. Annie, who is capable fo turning into the female titan, and easily can beat up men twice her size, and yet ultimately that physical strength means nothing because Annie is a self serving coward. 

We know the reason why Annie is like this. It is a pretty good reason. Her father told her that the most important thing above all else was her own survival. Annie was raised like a child soldier, to her all she has is her strength, and her promise to reunite with her father. If one fails, if she’s not strong enough to fight her way out of a situation she falls back to the other and runs. That’s why Annie as a person is both strong, and incredibly weak, she can’t even stand the slightest confrontation. 

Annie says she doesn’t care about being a good person, but she also gets tripped up and coerced by Armin’s words that he’ll think less of her. Annie says she will kill anyone on this island to survive, but she fails just because she spared Armin. Annie is wavering back and forth. She’s contradicting herself constantly, and that’s because Annie doesn’t want to think about who she is or what she wants. Her entire identity is found in running away, and running back to her father, and Annie never tries to be a person outside of that. 

What do you call soemone who blindly follows what their parents told them to do, and is unable to make decisions of their own outside of listening to their parents? 

A child.

The words of Annie’s father have kept her alive until this point, that’s true. However, treating the whole world as her enemy, as something to run away from, has stopped her from connecting to another person and giving her what she needs to grow up. You don’t grow and learn by doing the same thing over and over again. The same ideas that let her survive are now holding her back. 

What Annie thinks she wants is to be left all alone. She gets exactly that when she’s crystallized, and it only makes her worse. She is protected from everyone, nobody is able to harm her, she doesn’t have to interact with anyone and she becomes completely helpless. 

Annie’s path forward relies on confronting the people she’s been avoiding. However, Annie has only ever known avoidance. 

What Annie thinks, is that she doesn’t have to care about other people. However, she contradicts herself because Annie clearly does care. If she didn’t care she wouldn’t have spared Armin. If she didn’t care she wouldn’t let Armin’s condemnation of her actions get to her. It’s not that Annie is a good or bad person, it’s that Annie doesn’t even want to think about if her actions are right or wrong, she doens’t want to have any kind of confrontation at all so she runs away. 

Annie’s arc has always come about by her realization that there are other people who exist besides her in the world, and who have other wants and needs outside of her. If Annie was truly capable of living alone she would have just stayed in the crystal after all this time, but she obviously hated that. 

The only way Annie can move forward is if she gets closer to other people, but she can’t do that if she’s running away from them. I’ve said this again and again, the micro informs the macro. Characters decisions on a micro-level  have greater consequences in story. Annie is not able to rise to the occasion, because of her personal weaknesses, namely that she can’t be close to other people.

Once again we have Annie insisting that she just doesn’t have anything to do with this. Annie is someone who is perfectly capable of fighting, and strong in some ways but weak in others. Any time she has to confront something, she always chooses to avoid instead and runs away. It’s not because she can’t do anything, but it’s because she doesn’t want to have to face the conflict. 

Annie will always try to run away and be by herself because that’s what she thinks she wants, when what she needs to do is grow up and learn to be her own person outside of her father’s words for her. Like. She even says she wants to die peacefully. As if she’s accepted death rather than trying to struggle to live. Which is why she even physically runs away from Armin, the one person whose closest to her. 

Armin is the one person who has consistently challenged her to be a good person. As long as she’s far away from Armin, Annie doesn’t even need to think about whether her actions are good or bad. However, being quiet and being at peace is just what Annie thinks what she wants because if that was really the end result of her arc she could have just stayed in the crystal forever. 

2. EreMika Parallels

Armin and Annie mean a lot to each other. Armin is Annie’s connection to her own humanity. Annie saved Armin once and because of that her life has been forever changed since that moment. Armin is the person who looks up to Annie, and sees the best in her and even challenges her to be a better person than she was previously. Armin sees Annie better than Annie even sees herself. Does this sound familiar? it’s like a parallel. It’s intentional. 

Mikasa has always seen the good in Eren. She’s seen the kind little boy who wrapped a scarf around her on a cold day, and gave her the strength to fight. Eren is always stopped and hesitates when confronted with the memory of the scarf because Mikasa represents his connection to other people. It’s his memories of  Mikasa who always opposes him when Eren insists he’s a terrible person that’s going to destroy the world. 

Mikasa sees the good in Eren. However, their relationship is a complex one. Mikasa has, time and time again, enabled the bad in Eren because she has difficulty looking at the whole picture. 

Mikasa has enabled Eren’s bad tendencies. This is because Mikasa is so codependent on Eren, and so paralyzed by the idea of losing him she’s too afraid to confront him. Annie and Mikasa are both characters who despite their tremendous strength, they can’t seem to whether the simplest interpersonal confrontation. 

Mikasa and Eren have both at some point in the story saved each other. Eren saved Mikasa from the kidnappers. Mikasa told Eren that he was accepted and loved at his lowest point when confronted with the Dinah Titan again, and he promised to wrap the scarf around Mikasa again.

However, they also both have the tendency to ruin each other because Mikasa enables Eren’s worst qualities. She could push Eren to be better, but she’s too fixated on the idea of Eren rather than confronting who Eren really is as a person that she’s unable to do anything to stop Eren until it’s far too late. 

Armin and Annie are too people who could just like Eren and Mikasa, challenge each other to be better people. Eren’s flaw is his independence, Mikasa’s flaw is his codependence. It’s gender reversed in Aruannie, Armin’s flaw is his codependence and Annie’s flaw is her independence. 

The problem with Annie and Armin is ultimately they both tend to be very cowardly people. When they interact they have the potential to make each other braver, or they can run away from each other. 

Let me elaborate quickly on Armin. If Annie’s tendency is to always do what she wants, then Armins’ tendency is to always try to do what other people want. That’s not as selfless as it sounds though because, Armin wants to put all of his decisions on other people. 

Think about the conflict with Connie. If Armin had just told Connie no, or asserted himself as a leader, he could have just avoided Connie kidnapping Falco all together. 

Armin doesn’t want to make choices though. Armin will do anything to put the choice on other people. He physically put the choice on Connie, by just throwing himself into a suicide and forcing Connie to decide to save him. 

Armin believes that he himself is insufficient. There’s a theory going around that Armin is the main character of the story, but even if that is true: Armin does not want to be the main character. Armin will do anything to avoid being the main character of his own life. Part of the reason Armin puts Eren on such a pedestal is because if he treats Eren like the main character, then Armin himself is spared from making a decision. 

Annie doesn’t want to think about other people. Armin spends so much time thinking about other people that his own will gets lost time and time again. Eren continually putting responsibility on others and relying on others around him when everyone needs him to take responsibility and step up is his own version of running away. 

If part of the reason that things got this bad, was the total failure of leadership. Everyone acting powerless. Floch even says humanity needs a devil to lead it immediately after he creates the situation that kills Hange, and puts Armin in charge once more. 

If Annie’s first instinct is to always run away to protect her own life. Armin’s first instinct is to always throw himself away in some kind of suicide plan. However, this creates far more dififculties than it actually solves. Reiner even yells this at him, how would it help for Armin to throw his life away in a sacrifice at this moment to buy time if he was there best chance against Eren.

Floch believes that humanity needs a demon to lead them. This is an idea that’s been built up since the death of Erwin. It’s not Eren who is the demon however, it’s Armin. 

However, just as Annie consistently runs away when she’s cornererd. Whenever Armin has to act responsible for other people he always reacts by saying he couldn’t possibly live up to Erwin’s legacy. But that’s just the same behavior. That’s just running away. Annie values herself too highly over other people. Armin sees himself as expendable and much lower priority therefore refuses to step up to any responsibility placed on his shoulders, or make decisions he can put off onto other people. It’s different motivations but the same behavior, consistently running away from each other.

This is something they both do, and they can either confront this behavior in one another or they can run away from it. 

If Armin had challenged her to stay and fight Annie probably would have stayed. he didn’t so she didn’t. Armin calls himself a bad person who has killed comrades, but he doens’t really want to make the decisions that Erwin made and so he avoids that. 

In order to get closer, Annie and Armin would both have to confront themselves and admit things about themselves they don’t really want to think about. Which is why Annie runs away, and Armin lets her. Annie could challenge Armin to be better and call him out, but Armin doesn’t really want that fight right now. It’s something they would have to work on in order to be closer. How can you expect two people to be close, if they are continually running away from each other?

AruAnnie, and EreMika are two completementary sets of people with similiar flaws that could help each other or ruin each other, and right now we’re seeing the regression and not the development.