#moral of the story: dont fuck before the party

[markomaraa]

I'm playing as Astarion origin, and I managed not to sleep with anyone at the party and got this:

[sammygender]

im new here- is dean abusive?

imo yeah. smarter people than me have written dissections of the way he treats sam & others (he’s also Awful to his psuedo-son jack, but i haven’t gotten to that season yet), i’ve probably reblogged a bunch of them.

he certainly doesn’t mean to be & i don’t say it to condemn him as a person or as a character & i’m still very attached to him & he loves sam very much (not that that makes a difference in whether u abuse someone or not) - but the way he treats sam a lot/some of the time is emotionally abusive and sam is clearly badly impacted. s4 and s8 come to mind as his worst moments also ofc moc era - after that there’s less interpersonal conflict (up to where i am at least) but that’s because sam mostly stops disagreeing with dean not because dean actually gets much better <3 spn is cycles of abuse show after all. family is hell. dean’s learnt pretty much everything about how to behave from his abusive father and as a result. well. cycle continues

[gayemoji]

oh yeah okay go ahead kiss a ninE year old what the fuck !!! WHAT THE FUCK !!!

whatever credit i was giving chase before null and void i never said it

[sodrippy]

one of these days i need the full story of your dnd mishap

😭😭😭 please

the short story is our party had three people (2 players + DM) who thought we were playing a fun friendly magical campaign and two people who wanted to recreate a critical role campaign amongst themselves...i think if youre familiar w cr you might immediately see the issue there.

long story is people put WAY way too much personal shit into their characters and almost immediately started taking the actions of characters as genuine irl slights and like. two sessions in had already lost sight of the difference between the pc and the player.

oh shit this got really long im sorry i dont think you care This much but i havent thought about it in a while and it bewilders me every time-

SO i was playing a cunty rogue and had TOLD everyone 'hey she is probably gonna clash w the party at first, but she'll warm up to everyone really fast, so dont worry about that' like it was clearly in the spirit of building a realistic character who had her own hangups etc. which i assumed the others would understand bc they'd done the same. plus is it not boring and unreal asf if a bunch of strangers meet after a murder of someone close to them and all just get along immediately w no suspicions or secrecy? cmon man.

and yet. the two cr-people got really weird about my pirate character stealing (???) and sincerely pulled the dm aside to express their concerns about the 'level of violence being enacted' and asked that we all try to be aware of what class of people we did crimes against. like. they wanted me to stop stealing from the 99% and ask everyone if they were rich before i picked their pocket ig. ALL THE WHILE. ONE OF THE OFFENDING PCS WAS IN THE MAFIA?????? LIKE. DIRECTLY EMBEDDED IN THE MAFIA THAT RAN THE TOWN.

i suppose that pc was off the hook bc he did possess the elf cock that the other guy wanted so bad, so. love won. i guess.

anyway they ended up taking hours out of our sessions to just dialogue-rp about slowly falling in love in a complex way or something. except then the non-elf player was like 'actually, dm, can you give me a love interest npc i need to add more depth to my character.' or smth, to which our dm lovingly crafted a beautiful working class hero of a guy. which the pc proceeded to hard reject. what was the point of any of this? we may never know<3

need to be clear as well this was all happening over discord bc we all live in different timezones, my very close friend was up at 2AM for this bullshit every week. AND he didnt even KNOW these other people very well, but suddenly theyre finding fault w not just his character but him as a PERSON? i just rmrd they accused him of like.....negatively influencing me??? like. MORALLY???? brother we have been friends for 10 years you are nothing to us you dont know us like that lol.

but they did REALLY really hate my character, which eventually made me feel like shit all the time bc like. obviously im putting work into her, its a creative construction and to have it railed against that badly is not fun. so i said ok you know what, ill just make a new character, hopefully thatll keep the peace and we can salvage this.

so i pitch a new character and oh they LOVE her. they fucking love her concept. which was so.........the first character was a lot easier for me to play bc she was a little more like me, and this character was specifically the opposite....how am i meant to take that reaction, yknow

which also reminds me: the original pirate rogue i played was a tiefling (yeah yeah gay stereotype i know. im not subtle or original, whatever) and there was a complaint (made only half-jokingly, ykwim) that she was too white.

shes not even HUMAN what the fuck do you mean shes too WHITE. IM not white that should imbue any character i create w an inherent not-whiteness. but even still, again, she is half sea creature. shes not. human. to be assigned a race like that....hello??

anyway so these two cr-rp players eventually blocked me and my friend on tumblr without saying anything, and got confused when we found out and said 'yeah ok we dont wanna play dnd with some guy who has blocked us on other social media' as if WE were the weirdos. like they saw no problem w continuing this disastrous campaign as long as they got their mandatory monologue time.

the worst part is my dm made SUCH a stunning campaign and world and it was so so so fun outside of this mess, i still feel really bad they never got to realise the world fully. plus my character had a sickass backstory thing where she was like. slowly unlocking latent magic the longer she spent underwater bc her demon parent was abyssal and stuff. which is whatever but the sick part is she was developing SCALES and maybe GILLS. in like a nasty gorey way it was gonna be so cool. but noooo lets talk about strange morality and your lameass god for 1.5 hrs. at 11pm on a friday.

[electricabsolution]

twin mirror selves of seeing: an essay (?) about sharkboy and lavagirl

this has been taking up a lot of valuable space in my brain for at least 3 years so im writing it down. no i dont remember most of this movie but ive decided im qualified to talk about it anyway.

everyone knows Sharkboy and Lavagirl. come on. right? George Lopez and that guy from twilight? the CGI is fucking abysmal but it was everything to 10 year old me. rivaled perhaps only by spy kids. i have many thoughts about it.

LONG POST. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

[the title is from the poem If Man Is Dead, Then God Is Slain by Ray Bradbury.]

i don’t really feel like summarizing the movie because i’m not focused on the plot. the gist of it is, max dreams up shit and it comes to life. he makes a cool planet just for kids, but oh no! his class bully Linus fucks it all up and he has to travel to planet drool and make it all better.

this isnt an essay really. more of a collection of thoughts because? ??? what the actual fuck is this movie. moving on.

max as the author ≠ max as the god

ok, max is a lonely and aimless kid. to him, real life is the Adult's World. hes out of place, so in his dreams (and daydreams) he makes up friends. friends with superpowers. normal kid stuff. they live on planet drool, basically a paradise for kids. but when dreams become reality, so do all of its flaws. because a god can only create in it's own image, sharkboy and lavagirl are equally as purposeless as max is. sharkboy grieves his dad and lavagirl longs to be around people without scalding them. They both feel uniquely isolated (which they are. main character syndrome) and take it out on max because he caused these problems by making them exist.

this concept is par for the course regarding the morality of authorship. to create a story is to have your characters suffer; little playthings with no say. naturally, sharkboy and lavagirl don’t like this. but i doubt this even occurred to max before they brought it up, considering he didn’t actually create them to Exist in a narrative. more on this later.

on the topic of gods, the biblical themes in this movie are pretty heavy handed, honestly. what with max's bible - the dream journal - and his very own adam and eve in the form of cool older kids with shark and lava powers which are like definitively two of the sickest things for a preteen. his Eden is corrupted, though (as Edens are wont to do), and therein lies the beginning of the story. the line between creator and author begins to blur.

the dream journal

The dream journal is the wellspring. its easily the most important part of the movie to me. its the fount of Max's power.... for a time. everything he's dreamed has been recorded in the bible. There's one scene where Max reads aloud that he once dreamed that Lavagirl had a motorcycle, and instantly it comes into being. But... didn't it exist before he read it? He wrote it down, didn't he? This scene shows us just how godlike Max really is - he needs to be believed in. At least here, interacting with his creations, ideas just existing in his head are functionally useless. Well, more specifically, existing to a singular being rather than many. the act of reading the journal to Lavagirl* is what causes the words to exist, a conjoining of consciousness i guess.

In this case, we have to assume nothing in his dream journal exists without a second party to believe in it. which makes sense.

but then they lament that max forgot to write down a full gas tank... and the bike becomes useless. Lavagirl accidentally takes the dream journal, and destroys it. (de-storys it, to borrow the phrase from that one tumblr post.) this is to show that his control of the universe comes from the writing, i guess? the act of putting to page is the power, and the next act of speaking the words makes the power real. this is why it's interesting to me that the movie itself opens on a monologue about sharkboy and lavagirl themselves. Max is reading from his journal to us, the fourth wall*, thus the characters come into being because we believe it.

max as the child

yes, he is the Dreamer or whatever the fuck and created a whole planet, but it was only because he felt so alone. he is still a kid. behind the dream journal, he just wanted friends. people who saw him. It's clear from the beginning of the movie he was bullied and we didn't see any friends to speak of. and his parents, well. your average fraught relationship. There isn't much to talk about regarding their scenes except (!) how they're portrayed on planet drool.

in the land of milk and cookies, literally a childish, comforting place, his parents, two giants, roam the area. their size indicates how max feels: small and hardly noticeable. but this is Max's dream world. exactly what he wants. his parents are madly in love and perfectly content. counter this to real life, where they don't notice max because they're too busy arguing. here, they're too lovey-dovey. but even in his garden of eden, he's still not... a part of their life. he's just too small. i dont even think max has conceptualized this because its so normal to him - and probably the way a lot of kids feel in real life, like being detached from the unified front of their parents. its actually really sad to think about, poor kid :c

linus as the author; max as the god

so it turns out that the corruption spreading through planet drool is due to the influence of linus graffitiing the dream journal.

so i mentioned previously that max's dreams don't exist until there's someone to believe. once that motorbike scene happens, it recontextualizes a fair bit of the story. so… when, exactly, did planet drool come into being? was it just out there somewhere in space ever since max had the first inkling? i doubt it.

i believe that it was Linus who really created planet drool. he stole the journal. thus, by reading, it came into being. in-universe and in, um… our universe. real life i mean. he's an active, hostile audience as opposed to the viewer who is utterly passive. he defaced what was a private sanctuary of one person’s mind both literally (editing the story) and figuratively (creating conflict creates narrative. it isn’t private anymore. it’s worthy of an audience, now.)

by doing this, though, it's Linus who gives the power to max. he’s the reason Sharkboy and Lavagirl come down to get him. like, he believes in max and his stories just to be a hater about it. respect??

i’m unsure what to make of linus having powers too, though. maybe it’s the fact that he wrote in the dream journal and even though he messed it all up, believers (i.e sharkboy and lavagirl, plus linus to some extent.*) can’t pick and choose what to believe in. it’s all or nothing. or maybe it’s supposed to be a kid thing, like anyone can make their dreams real but you grow out of it as you become a boring adult. that was probably the message.

anyway, all this is to say that if max is the Dreamer, this makes linus the Actor. the Enactor. (the subtractor. because… minus. get it?? ok sorry.) to return to the title quote (which is more explicitly applicable to sharkboy and lavagirl, but i digress), linus and max are mirrors of seeing. seeing=reading=existing. max creates the world, linus makes it real. yes, there is a difference.

i don’t think planet drool ever existed in its perfect state because it didn’t need to. any memories of it were created by the narrative, the bible / the journal, to give our protagonists a goal to work towards. getting the planet back to ‘how it used to be’ is easy for them to understand because there’s a clear divide between how max writes in the journal and how linus does. erasing his scripture is to erase all problems, and fade back into irrelevance (for all but max). the author-slash-editor has been defeated and the characters can go back to existing in the utopia of Max's mind. there might be a discussion to be had regarding the purity of non-existence, and once it becomes real it’s tainted. hmm.

*[all this talk of gods and authors and i've neglected to discuss the believers. its a bit scattered, theres the max–SB+LG relationship, max+linus–viewer relationship (which parallel each other), and the max-linus relationship. not very important, just notable. I just wanted to asterisk certain places because I wonder if those people are just extensions of the viewer at that point in time. the first time he ever reads the journal, it's to us. so, maybe, when i said the motorbike became real because he read it to lavagirl, it was still just us? maybe im just being overly literal. i mean of course it's us.]

not sure what all this means in the end, though. from this perspective, the author (linus) and the god (max) are evil and good respectively despite doing basically the same thing. but i guess it's the intent that's important - max, the god, had innocent intentions. he wanted his planet and Sharkboy and Lavagirl to be happy, it's just that by creating them at all he imparted his anxieties onto them. Linus, the author, had ill intent, creating secondary problems on purpose. the desire to share ideas, to have it exist in many minds, is what seems to be the issue.

they grapple for ownership over the universe but of course Linus can't win, he merely wants it. Max needs it. Max is it.

And which is God, which Human, God now must truly say: We fly much like each other, We walk a common clay. I dreamed Man into being, He dreams me now to stay - Twin mirror selves of seeing, We live Forever's Day.

[thedroloisms]

its kind of wild the intentional stupidity some people have. “we shouldn’t expect much from ccs. remember they already disappointed us with dream” okay but you know that’s because they knew he was innocent right. like yes they didn’t drop him but also the accusations were unsubstantiated. the way they continue to talk about dream as if he’s a confirmed groomer but don’t actually say it because they know it’s not true. “remember what happened with dream” yea bitch you were wrong that’s what happened (sorry i needed to vent 😭)

DONT BE SORRY THIS ALL THE WAY

like in some cases, i'm willing to brush it off as ignorance or stupidity. mostly in the cases of a lot of people who haven't really looked into anything themselves and therefore have a pretty damn biased view of the situation. still not great, especially considering the severity of the allegations (like, i'm sorry but false allegations irl and in content creator spheres have literally ruined people's lives before they are far from victimless???? we have documented evidence of this happening????) but at the very least it's more believably from a place of genuinely not knowing (though it's not like they're trying to know either)

that being said, a lot of the loudest of the group, the avid drantis who won't shut their mouths about him and have decent followings on whatever platform they frequent and have established themselves as a sort of moral authority on the situation? whether it's on twitter or that collection of former dsmpblr big blogs, i'm sorry but nah. these people aren't approaching the issue from a place of ignorance. these people know exactly what they're talking about; they just don't give a damn. they've proved thoroughly that more than they care about advocating for literally anyone, they need to preserve their goddamn reputations. these same blogs repeatedly invoking dream in this scenario despite his having nothing to do with it (because obviously they dropped dream, so they're good people. or obviously the content creators Showed Their True Colors when they didn't immediately denounce dream. or dream made it clear that this community isn't safe from bad, manipulative men emphasis on the MEN!!! or what have you) often literally just so they can pat themselves on the back - scrambling over each other in order to see who gets to stand on the highest soapbox to preach? like.

it's one thing for people to just dislike dream, or to have dropped him during the allegations. i don't bear ill will for those things alone - when the allegations dropped, in the time when we were waiting for a clear final response, i don't blame anyone for choosing the paths that best suited their comfort levels. we all looked at what we had and made our own individual decisions. but it's not february 2023 - now, a full year later, seeing these people literally continue to treat the allegations in the exact same way? speaking about how dream was revealed to be abusive! we should have known better! ccs didn't act then of course they won't act now the entire collection of dsmp men are raging misogynists at best and literally all abusive at worst !!! yeah, fuck off.

there were two claims in all of this of dream being involved with underage individuals - anastasia was literally over 18??? of the two, one story was spread without her consent (as is confirmed not only by her literally asking to be left alone at the start of this, but also by dream and the informant of the burner, who said that she thought the burner would get in contact with the person at hand, directly implying that they never did) and all parties directly involved have stated that no grooming occurred, with retractions taking place on every level. the informant corroborated the statement dream gave for the alleged victim in his video independently after being thrown under the bus by the burner account, and even the other person involved in all of this who was literally hating on dream the entire time on her own twitter corroborated his claims as well. continuing to spread these claims is a kick in the face to the literal person people claim to be trying to protect by championing her as a poor victim and shoving her name and account everywhere when she didn't ask for any of this - believe victims, until the victim is telling you to shut the fuck up after her account was propped up for the entire internet to ogle at without her consent and multiple people dug into her information without asking her supposedly "for her sake". the second story, the original allegations made against dream in 2022, has had multiple people who knew this woman personally (and included picture proof to show that they did) come out independently and say that she's a liar. on top of this, allegations against the accuser have come out (with a whole lot more proof of manipulation than was ever present in the case with her accusations against dream!) and been corroborated by, again, someone who knows the accuser personally, and these allegations have included the fact that certain elements of the original allegations against dream were faked, something that supports what dream said in his video, on top of the other proof provided. but you know, believe victims - not that one, though, or that one. and everyone knows that if you're falsely accused of a crime, then you're not a victim. obviously.

time and time again these people have not only shown that the only victims they're at all willing to listen to are the ones convenient to their story (and the ones that aren't get to be shouted over, ignored, and twisted for use in their own agendas) but they've also repeatedly twisted information to best fit their personal narratives. these people have skin in the game, you know? they didn't exactly approach the situation with dream quietly. they have staked a lot on dream's guilt, including their own personal moral soundness - they've spent over a year of their lives assuring themselves that they're not like the dirty dream stans, they took the allegations Seriously and have denounced a Dangerous Bad Man. the existence of other victims challenges that story, and so they can't acknowledge their existence at all. maybe i'd be less bothered if these weren't the same people who seem so fucking devoted to their being perceived as Authorities On Abuse, who have championed themselves as protectors of the hurt and downtrodden, who go on and on and on about how they take these things with utter seriousness and how much victims matter to them - only to let their internal biases and sheer self-righteousness prompt them to ignore any "victim" that doesn't suit their favored narrative. god forbid these people admit that they were wrong! god forbid they admit that they spent a year of their life in their circles preaching hellfire and brimstone against an innocent man, god forbid they admit that they've harassed people out the door of their circles and been proud of their efforts based on falsified information, god forbid they spend a damn inkling of their time reflecting on their own hypocrisy.

but, you know. #believevictims am i right?

[swashbucklcr]

1, 3, 10, 93, 94, 95, 100, 105 (dont have to answer all these, just want the world to know!)

@iron-hearts-ablaze | Questions for my Tav

This is super fucking long so it's under a read more:

1. What is their backstory and why did you choose it?

Well, I wrote up a bit on his backstory on the carrd but essentially he's a classic story of a good lad being forced into a criminal lifestyle cause of family and left events.

Finn's moral compass for most of his life is constantly spinning around, not sure which way to point. His mother raised him until just before his teens and she tried her best to nurture a kind hearted nature, a boy who loved music and arts and just wanted to play the lute and sing.

After her passing and his father returns to his life to take him "under his wing", Finn's life of music and art is torn to shreds as his father toughens him up for the life of a pirate. At first Finn resents his father, but over time begins to see it as his father trying his best to make sure Finn survives and thrives in this lifestyle. And by his late teens he certainly thrives. He earned the name Finn "The Fury" Locke for his rage during raids but mostly his constant simmering anger even out of fights.

He's fiercely loyal to his father, the captain, and the crew, having taken many injuries and killed for them throughout his life. Out of the crew, his closest friend and mentor was a half wood-elf named Jon. Jon was the chef and took wee Finn under his care when Finn was still a child grieving the loss of his mother and the life he once knew. Jon was much calmer than most of the other pirates, more patient and open-minded. The kitchen was always a space for Finn to be himself and funnily enough, the one spot on the ship where he never simmered to anger.

As for WHY I went with Finn? I've always been fond of the sea, I've sailed, dived, surfed, etc. I spend so much of my free time at the beach. I wanted to write a character that also shared the same love for the ocean and with all the plotting we've done Vix, Finn as a pirate just fell into place for me. I wanted to write someone who's maIn obstacle isn't anything or anyone but just finding himself again. For the story of the fight against the Dead Three, Finn doesn't have his own personal battles per say, just the slow crawl to self discovery and finally feeling happiness with himself. The fact he has also met Osian, the man who makes him finally believe soulmates just makes his journey all the better.

3. Do they multiclass? Why (not)?

Yes! With our playthrough we're going up to level 20 (😎) and so my current plan for Finn is:

Level 12 Rogue Pirate

Level 5 Fighter Battle Master

Level 3 Bard College of Swords ( only happens near the end of Act 3 as he begins to embrace his Bardic nature )

10. What was your Tav like as a child?

Near unrecognisable to the man now. Young lad, not well off by any means but rarely knew hunger. Carefree, happy, excitable child that had a small group of friends where he loved being the jokester with. He would sneak to watch street performers play songs and tried to set up a terrible band with his friends.

Academically he was perfectly average in most classes, with exception to music and writings where he excelled. His mother worked hard to save up to buy him a lute that he treasured until his father took it from him and cast it into the ocean.

93. What do you think happens to the party, afterwards? Do they go for drinks? Do they go their separate ways?

Finn would certainly suggest drinks, a well earned rest. He'd also be very glad the Elfsong is still standing.

Now, the question is would Finn join Karlach in Avernus? I'm between two minds on this cause Finn would adore Karlach so much, she's a very dear friend to him but he'd also know that Wyll (or Gale of we're throwing in our HeatWeave plot) would join her too.

If he doesn't join her, he'll be dashing after Astarion and using his cloak to cover him up enough until Osian can join them and help with some magic. After that, he will insist on serving all those who remain a pint or two in the Elfsong but he wouldn't feel much joy to celebrate. His best friend(s) is(are) fighting for her life and freedom in the Hells. If anything he's just grateful it's all over and he can focus on the next stage of his life.

Otherwise, he's diving right into Avenrus and smoking that fat cigar before chopping up as many demons as possible while the smarter lads work on a way to fix her engine for good.

94. Years after the game, what do you think your Tav is up to?

Most of his adventuring, and rogue lifestyle has been put away. Finn has now focused his energy on being a simple bard and author. He's trying to write the story of the journey of their adventure with the tadpoles and how a group with little in common banded together to crush the plan of the Dead Three and later the Netherbrain.

Finn has no ties to anywhere on land, his home in Waterdeep is long gone and so he will happily go wherever Osian needs to be. He will ensure to visit his favourite niece Calise as often as he can, and has regular correspondence with Osian's family who have taken him in as his own. He's far happier and more relaxed now with the love of his life and the life he always wanted to live.

One day he also meets Jon, who's left the pirate life to set up an inn in Baldur's Gate and Finn makes sure to be as much of a regular customer as possible.

95. What do you think of your Tav's development throughout the game? If you compared them to who they were at the start, what would be different?

Like chalk and cheese, Finn in Act 1 wouldn't recognise Finn in Act 3, from physical appearance to his entire personality. Finn slowly gets calmer and open to new ideas, plus Finn in Act 1 would have never expected to fall in love with a wood elf wizard and yet by Act 3 Finn can't imagine his life without him.

Yet, Finn post game finally understands how it is to be truly happy with himself. He's finding peace.

100. Did Karlach get upgraded? Did she turn Illithid? Did she return to Avernus? If so, did Tav join her, or Wyll, or both?

Mostly answered this in question 93!

No fucking way would be agree with illithid Karlach.

105. Anything you want to say about your Tav! Give a random headcanon, answer a random question, say whatever you want!

Pigeon is the real hero of the story.

[quirkthieves]

pulling a lot of this from my dms with lys but what really pushed me to change up ibara's backstory was re-examining the way she talks to and about things

ibaras ocd just seems so deeply unmanaged/overlooked that i have to wonder if shes just been in an environment that encourages it yknow. like there is no self soothing happening here she is collapsing in public

she thinks its appropriate to tell people they need to be flogged like i feel like at some point this has to have been encouraged bc she doesnt seem to feel the shame of it being "socially abnormal" the way it feels with ocd when you know its kinda irrational and nobody thinks that way. in general honestly she communicates in a way that indicates she doesnt understand that nobody else understands the religious talk + jargon, even when theyre clearly taken aback by it. i cant imagine she called shishida "beast of revelations" out of any malice or even to be mischievious, i think to her thats just basically a synonym for him. while she clearly gets upset and embarrassed abt other things, it feels like her fundamental reality hinges on Everyone Being On The Same Page With Her when they very much are NOT

Ibara is obsessed with things being completely clear to the point of getting upset at mic for a funny one-liner i cant IMAGINE shes trying to be obtuse on purpose. but she even uses a personal pronoun thats so formal and archaic its not used by anyone except corporations/politicians making official apology statements theres also in LN2, at a girls slumber party at the training camp, a gag where mina brings up love and yaomomo is like "Love?! before marriage?!" and shiozaki agrees and says something abt marriage being a promise before god. which like is just meant to be a silly gag abt how sheltered yaomomo is but again that + the way ibara speaks + other things seem to indicate not even just a religious upbringing but an incredibly insular one. when the girls in that chapter are talking abt potential dates, ibara says she thinks someone needs to "pull the thorn from endeavors heart" and everyones like. YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON ENDEAVOR? GIRL? and shes like. what? no. i just think he needs help like mentally

& ibara never tries to proselytize in canon. she talks abt the lord vaguely, but she never mentions it in a way that insinuates she expects her classmates to convert, just that she holds them to the same moral standard she holds herself, and a general obliviousness to the fact they dont know what shes talking about to her it seems like god is just a literal physical reality untethered to personal affiliation in fact shes like. bizarrely un-denominational in her christianity she never references things outside of allusions to bible stories, the lord as a concept, or her moral ethos. and again, in all the christmas material we see of her she almost looks confused as to why shes there

which. sure in part probably has more to do with horikoshi but the way i interpret it is just that these "official cultural aspects" like the celebrations themselves / decorations / etc are completely divorced from "actual christmas" in her mind. she has no fucking clue why there are elves involved what the fuck does this have to do with jesus which again would point to an incredibly, incredibly insular upbringing. like, more than MLA insular shes completely alienated from the culture of her peers but doesnt understand why because she still hasnt felt any need to question her concept of culture or reality in general. so instead shes just baffled all the time. no wonder shes so high strung. AUGH

[chialattea]

Lol, my Hawke is also the bottom in her relationship with Bela (it just makes sense to me) and they do commit crimes together but she tends to be more blue/diplomatic. Is yours sarcastic? And what exactly is their dynamic like?

OH MY GOD I JUST SAW THISN HFGVFYU

I forgot tumblr asks were a thing,, thank god i started fucking around and clicked the correct button.

Bottom Hawke enjoyers unite!!!! I just think it's especially funny considering theyre quote unquote the leader of the group, so thinking of them as actually losers who are just winging it makes me so happy.

My Hawke is mostly a purple/sarcastic hawke. She's mostly quite laid back and easygoing because she's allergic to taking things seriously and/or confronting her issues, which bites her in the ass as the story progresses. She'd rather die than let people know she has feelings other than funny one-liners. She's loud and rash, but somehow things keep working out for her... Until they dont. They really come crashing down. Behind her chronic class clown facade is someone with a very set personal moral code. She genuinely cares for her friends and has a surprisingly high EQ, which is why the kirkwall gang hasnt devolved into beating each other senseless. At first glance she seems flaky and unreliable, but she's relentless when it comes to that she thinks as her responsibilities: her family, her friends, and for some fucking reason the city of Kirkwall (she really, really wishes she hadnt gotten attached god fucking damnit, its a dumpster but its HER dumpster). Those are the only three subjects you'll see her getting serious about. Other than that she values freedom quite highly and doesn't really care about the big picture or politics. She's more of a small-scale, act local kind of gal.

At first Isabela and her get along like a house on fire; they love partying, they love drinking, Isabela finds Hawke's smartass attitude hilarious and Hawke finds really attractive how Isabela can steal shit without being found out. The problems start when Hawke's sense of responsibility and morals start to show up. It's not like Hawke has any issue with Isabela doing whatever she wants, she's a "live and let live" kind of person, but,,, even if Hawke presents herself as an unrepentant clown, she's anything but. She wants to help to a self-sacrificing degree, refuses to engage with her own needs and has little sense of self-preservation. She's careless yet also keeps prioritizing everyone else before herself, which infuriates Isabela. They begin a situationship which is supposed to be purely physical, but Hawke gets attached yet refuses to admit it, even to herself; Isabela finds Hawke's newfound moral righteousness grating and makes her feel judged for her choices. Basically miscommunications galore. They have a big fight where neither of them actually listen to each other and refuse to be emotionally vulnerable.

And yet both of them come back for the other in their time of need, regardless and even in spite of their positions because no matter what they actively choose to love each other,, does that make sense? After the second act both of them decide their relationship is worth the trouble of,, working through their issues together and trying to better themselves. As everything around Hawke and Kirkwall start crashing down their relationship becomes their solace. It's hard, and they fuck up a lot, but they choose to make it work and actively care for their relationship.

Yeah but anyways, my Hawke is also a bumbling idiot with enough charisma to compensate it. She has fucked before but blushes like a maiden the second she sees Isabela's ankle. She's the "me and the bad bitch i pulled with my whimsical rizz" meme. Isabela is like hawke no and shes like hawke YESSSSS she's a golden retriever. if i had to choose a character she's most similar to it'd be gideon i guess.

TLDR; hawke: "isabela i taped myself to the ceiling but now i cant get down can you handfeed me some hot pockets" isabela: "why do i find this attractive"

[theonlyadawong]

idk how much you know about re8 but as someone who is soso correct about ada wong, if ada had been in re8 how do you think her being there would have played out? (could either be what you'd liked to have seen and/or what you think capcom would have actually done with her lol)

!!!!!!!

The prospect of seeing Ada in a game without leon is something so beautiful and so pure and that's I know capcom would never have delivered that to us.

OK so first going off what I think capcom was trying to do! I think the reason she was even put in re8 in the first place is because to get information about Mia and the connections, and to get a sample of the mold. And her saving Ethan from the four Lords would have really just been her getting her foot in the door with him so he feels safe and is willing to talk to her.

In my ideal version of re8, she would have never used the name ada wong, there's no reason for it. Her ultimate goal would have been to keep Rose (moreso the mold and whatever the mold is attached to) out of the BSAAs hands, and to get information on Mia. Keeping in theme with not using her name, I don't think we should hear her actual voice, it should be distorted by the mask, AND she should keep the mask on until the very end. As the game goes along you have ada in the crow mask saving Ethan, and slowly, he starts opening up about what he's doing in the village.

At around the halfway point, someone (the Duke probably) tells Ethan that the person in the crow mask is not a villager, and Ethan is like????? What the fuck??? And from then on he is very wary of the crow, because even though this person has helped him, he doesn't know them, and finally at about 3/4 into the game, he confronts the crow about who they are and what they're doing, and then ada just kind of. Dips. No explanation given.

The game continues and we do not see ada again until the very end (though in Chris' portion of the game, we find that he is aware of a third partys presence in the village, but he doesn't know who it is.)

At almost the end of the game, we see the crow handling a piece of rose, and Ethan is like??? Give me my daughter??? The crow turns, now maskless, and we finally see ada wong. Also Chris is there (don't ask me how this would work, he just is I guess) and he's like, "Oh fuck. This woman whose clone killed my men twice is here" and they start having a shoot out, and something happens (idk what) and ada is separated from the piece of rose and also chris and Ethan. We don't know if she's alive, but also she's ada wong, so she's alive.

Ethan and Chris have a minute to talk before the game ends, and Chris goes into a fit of rage, asking Ethan what he told ada, trying to figure out what she might know, and unfortunately... Ethan said quite a lot. Chris is, of course, upset, and the game continues as normal.

Now. I dont know how theyd put this into the game, but I want this to happen. Ada wasn't able to keep the rose/the mold out of the hands of the BSAA, but she is able to keep the BSAA from making more, so she kills Mia. This keeps with Adas throughline of being morally gray, as she is killing Rose's only living family (even though Mia is literally a bad person).

🎀 The End 🎀

Now, this was my idyllic version of 8, and if we'd gotten this it would have been amazing. That being said, despite how desperate I am to see Ada seperate from leon... I am actually very happy she wasn't in that game, actually! I think to bring in even more people to ethans story would have made it very clunky. The leap from the Baker house to the village and the four Lords huge, and I feel any more elements, especially ada wong, would have detracted from ethan. Like. They had to give Chris the tiniest part in 7 and 8 because his name alone would overshadow Ethan, so to have Ada in the mix as well... it would have been very muddy.

[angstflavoured]

@helpmekissthiswasp

That was the point i was trying to make.

My entire point of this post is that Ford is morally grey. Too many people lean to either him being totally innocent and not doing anything wrong, or just paint him as an evil asshole. Both are very radicalized versions of him and both of them are wrong. And yeah! It is very boring, bad writing.

Im not saying what happened was Fords fault or that Bill didnt do anything wrong, just thats its more COMPLICATED than people think. There is no right answer. There is no clear cut reason for why things ended up the way they did. Theres no one person at fault.

Ford did bad things and Bill did bad things. Bill did manipulate him and play on his insecurities, but Ford trusted Bill after 2 seconds over his own dear friends and his family. So much wouldnt have happened if Ford wasnt selfish, but obviously that doesnt mean it was his fault that Bill lied to him.

Its all a huge, confusing tangled mess where simultaneously all parties are somewhat at fault. Thats what makes a story interesting! Not just "bad guy. good guy."

People keep trying to come up with answers and reasons for things, or trying to justify what Ford did when sometimes its okay for a character to just do bad things for selfish reasons! It makes them 3D and interesting and relatable and HUMAN.

and in Fords case, very very reddeemable and likable, DESPITE the bad unjustified things he did in his past. But everybody for some reason keeps trying to make it seem like Ford was entirely a victim and just a good guy who got hurt trying to do good things, even though he doesnt need it. His character doesnt need that to be likeable. Ignoring his past is just so damn boring.

paraphrasing here, but Alex himself before said something along the lines of "if everybodys mad, you did something right" specifically regarding fords character. He worked reallllyyy hard with his team to make Ford who he is. Someone fucked up and selfish, but caring and hardworking and sweet. And so many people ignore that and do his character so much diservice in the face of trying to make him a perfect victim. which yes, does not exist in any case.

Billford as a concept is so fucking interesting, and so many people are determined to make it so fucking boring and I dont know why.

shakes my hands above my head and paces around the room im so sick of everyone acting like ford is a dumb stupid idiot baby who was completely tricked by bill and did nothing wrong. yes he was lied to and bill was abusive, but theres so much more to everything that happened. ford was soooo incredibly willfully ignorant and pushed other important people in his life away, YES bc bill tricked him, but mostly because he wanted to be important. he was actively ignoring red flags from bill and hurting the people around him and was complicit in so much stuff bill did just because he wanted it to be true that bill picked him bc he was special. ford was the one who summoned him in the first place, but then bill just??? told him that he picked ford bc he was special which makes no sense and ford is smarter than that, but he didnt care bc wowwwww he picked me bc im so awesme and smarter and better than everyone!!! he was fucking HEAD OVER HEELLLSSS OBSESSED WITH BILL BTW THAT SHIT WAS NOT ONE SIDED!!! idk why everyone pretends it was. he was building shrines and worshiping him like a god. and never questioned him for a second????? like girl he is the most scientific, curious man in the world and he never once thought bill was lying. he let bill into his life and let him take it over sooo fucking quickly. and he didnt tell anyone bc "they would throw him in a loony bin" ?????? THATS OBVIOUSLY NOT WHY HE DIDNT TELL FIDDLEFORD. he was LYIIINNGG. They were building an interdimensional portal, fiddleford obviously wouldve believed ford and taken him seriously and kept a secret for him. he didnt tell fiddleford bc he was one of the only people in fords life who saw through his bullshit. hes nice, but he stands his ground. as soon as things got too hot, he left. and ford knew that if he told fiddleford about bill that he would immediately be like "dudddeee this is so fucking sketchy you need to research this guy theres obviously smthn else happening." if ford looked into the runes and the messages in the caves, hed probably deduce pretty damn quickly that bill was evil!! but he didnt bc hes selfish and self righteous and wanted to be a part of soemthing bigger than himself. thats literally all he ever wanted. I think the most interesting thing about TBOB is that it shows that it wasnt as black and white as it seemed and that ford wasnt the perfect victim. its shown in the show sooo much how fucked up his morals are. and im not saying this with malice, i fucking love ford and his character so much, i just think so many people act like billford was like a fucking domestic abuse situation where ford was just sad and pathetic and helpless. its so much more complicated than that. ford is not a super great guy and thats such an interesting part of his character. IDK.

[decayinghearg]

why do all my friends have so much more fun than me ??? we all do basically the same things since we are together 85% of the time but why are they so relaxed ?? they arent stressed like ever ?? i think we were just raised different. i had to be stressed and anxious abt everything to survive. now i feel like i can only have fun when im high, because when im high im not anxious. my mind finally can take a break and i can pause every racing thought i have. they judge me and the fact that im high all the time but i bet if they were me they would want to be high all the time too. it makes me so mad when my bsf ridicules me for smoking everyday. at least im not cutting myself or in the hospital every other month like i used to be. nothing in my life is super negative unless you wanna count how much i smoke. i just can never relax. its always been like that. to relax (not really relax but cope) when i was 13-14 i would just watch anime and cut myself all up in down my arms until i had no more space. now i do the same thing but im smoking weed and happy. if thats helping me cope why is it so bad? reallt tho. whats the worst outcome for smoking weed. the first time i ever smoked weed was september 2021. i was with my bsf (at the time) and my neighbor let us hit his cart. i didnt smoke many times after that until july 2022. since it was summer, i would go over my friends house and he was dating that same friend from the first time i ever smoked. they are still my best friends. from july thru september i would smoke maybe three times a month. until august i met a friend. i was having issues with my july thru september friends so i would hang out with this new friend, he smoked a lot of weed. we would hang out every weekend and get so high i could not walk. around october-november ish, i bought a cart. idk how many but the first one i bought was in october. i didnt have a battery so i would make a crack wire. the friend from sep 2021 found out abt this and called me a fiend, idk and basically just made me feel like shit. even tho !! she smokes every single day… i felt bad abt that. in january i bought my first eighth for a party i thru at my house. february 1st 2023 i bought a cart and a battery and the cart was finished before march. idk why i am writing all of this for tumblr to see. i guess ive just been upset with people judging me for coping in a way thay helps me. i say that but i see myself being too obsessed with weed. in october 2021 with those two friends, i was sucking on that fucking cart my neighbor gave me all night. im always the friend who is down to smoke no matter what. idk maybe i feel this way ibecause my bsf always judges me w how much i smoke. moral of the story, i smoke too much and i dont plan on stopping. i hope this doesnt bite mw in the ass and my whole life crumbles. i dont think it will. i applied to like 10 jobs, i go to school almost everyday, i havent cut since november, things r looking up.

[cielospeaks]

cyl year 7! deets under cut

heres hoping that the winners are at least one person i like. rob (either) would be ideal, esp if they arent possessed lol. i would say corn but recently the corns have just been enforcing the gender route split which i think is really bland bc the whole point of the game is to choose your own route/ect. but yea. out of all the most popular ones theyre the only one id be really interested in

and for the actual cyl pics! elm: goodest boy needs his base version pls! like ok his new years art like i predicted is way better but i just want him. he actually didnt get screwed over writingwise (he didnt get. anything. writingwise but still. thats a step up) so even more reason to want him

renault: the last member of the treble trouble five! please add him soon! i think hes really fascinating in the story of 7, being a man on a redemption arc from like. a really bad path, which you like never see in the fe series (but hey. maybe mauvier or whatever? tbh he gives me hendrik vibes a little). hes fascinating in the story and his supports are a wide range of emotions, from being comical like in bartre’s to being depressing in most of the others. i dont fucking give a darn abt the main villain of 7 but if they add him theyd better add renault too (or alternatively id also take fallen renault when he was still on life essence juice)

amalda: the unofficial sixth ranger of tt5! i also want her to be added soon but idk if ever soon (since shes a route split tho maybe she could be a ghb! please gosh). like renault i think shes really interesting for a character standpoint, shes one of the people who opposed fucking kidnapping children and actually rescued children (and not after helping to kidnap and kill them shaking my head at last years 4 banner specifically), but harbors a guilty conscience bc of the blood she’s spilled as a soldier, and is torn emotionally of whether to stay loyal to friege or not. tbh she and renault have a lot of same energy and i love them both.

jeritza: pre timeskip i am begging. hes just really cool before it, and would make a great ghb (tho thats probably unlikely). just let him keep the mask i am foaming at the mouth. i didnt really care for how he was treated after the timeskip and tbh in general, but i still like his character even tho i have issues w the canon writing. he deserves better tldr

ilios: this year was rally 5 bc i love them and want them added! ilios is fun, and like amalda i feel like he has a good chance to be ghb material (like. if they add fred or whatever his name is? olwen’s friend? they could have ghb of him), he even has a support/conversation/thingy with karin itd be great. (honestly their banter was funny! tho i want that sword guy from 5 too bc i liked the dynamic between him and her lol. and i want halvan too, and dagdar) but yea ilios! hes a fun character, i have noticed i have a soft spot for guys with sticks up their butts lol. i agree w karin tho his obsession w his name and stiff personality is fun to tease

shannam: the funniest boy! the only person in the world who it is ok to call a sussy baka lol. his entire concept of a character is so funny, hes essentially a con man impersonating the prince but hes kind of an idiot and a little flaky. and gosh do i love me a good con man. his friendship w homeros is fun, and oh gosh when mareeta referenced him in her crit line i was like -pointing guy meme- please come home.

homer: chaotic music boy hours! gosh i think he did well last year i would love for him to be added. hes canonically a tome but they could make him a musician dancer like nils that would be fun! (unlikely but fun). hes just the hornyman(tm) but has a laser focus for horny, except the person he tries to be horny with i think punches him and cries bc hes so pathetic so he joins your party. hes a cool grey morality character and i dig that so much. plus his friendship w shannam is very good too. i swear if we got the boys(tm) id cry happy tears (w ghb ilios! that would be the dream lol. amalda ig would have to be gacha cries)

other characters id want to give ones to would be idunn (santa or new years pls), ursula (rearmed please!), touma and yashiro (tms part 2 please!!), iuchar, iuchabra, and arion from 4 (and maybe ishtore and liza too if theyre included. gosh they make me so emo not gonna lie. both bc what happens to them and how they get treated in canon). i dont remember if flech was included but gosh she deserved better too id give her one if i could. not to even get started on characters id just like to see included, like linoan, murdock, elrean, dozla, ect.

[azarland]

but also:

[diamond-coral]

A Game

Summary: Tony suggests a game that you, the unfortunate intern, get dragged right into the center of: who can make a woman cum the fastest?

Pairings: all dark!: Steve x Reader, Bucky x Reader, Thor x Reader, Sam Wilson x Reader, Tony x Reader, implied natasha x reader

Warnings: DUB-CON/NON-CON (oral: f-receiving, fingering, tiny smidge of analplay) VOYEURISM/EXHIBITIONISM, BLACKMAILING, OVERSTIMULATION. The characters in this story are NOT good people. After reading the warnings, your media consumption is your own responsibility!

As Stark’s party mellowed down and all the guests left, you, the unfortunate intern, were called over to the small group of five Avengers seated in a section of couches.

“Y/n, come!” Thor’s voice boomed.

“Y/n, come!” Sam mimicked, deepening his voice to make fun of Thor’s.

You approached them as the men snickered at Sam’s joke. 

“What can I do for you?” you ask, a fake smile plastered on your face.

Stark cleared his throat and raised a brow at you; a silent command. 

“What can I do for you, sir?” 

“A round of drinks please, and add this to Sir Barnes, Sir Rogers, and I’s drinks.” Thor handed you the flask of his Asgardian liquor and you accepted it, hiding the slight nervous tremble of your hands.

“Of course, sir.”

“Someone’s been learning their manners,” Steve taunted, and it took all your restraint to not snarl at him.

“Easy there, Rogers,” Stark interjected, noticing how your fingers clenched Thor’s flask tighter. “Pretty sure Barnes fucked the brat outta her couple days ago when he came back from that shitshow of mission in Bosnia. Got a lot of pent up rage there, Buck?”

“Mission just put me in a bad mood,” Bucky shrugged. “Either way, I don’t think I fucked all the brat outta her. Got anything left for me, doll?”

“I have nothing for you, you self-righteous, ignorant prick,” you spat venomously.

“There she is. I always love a challenge.” Bucky smirked at how your knuckles were turning white around the flask. “Now didn’t Thor ask you to go fetch us some drinks?”

You huffed, opting to bite your tongue rather than lashing out, and spun on your heel toward the minibar.

Three-months ago, you would never have imagined your internship interview at S.H.I.E.L.D to bring you here. Your interview had been conducted by Captain America himself, and just as things began to look promising, it was interrupted by a sharp knock from Tony Stark. Tony had brought Steve into the hall, leaving the door to the conference room open, and you could only sneak glances through the window of the room, hearing Steve whisper about how it was “a question of morality” while they both kept looking back at you.

You got the position, and the next day, Tony sat you down and gave you an offer.

The Avengers needed to be ‘taken care of’, as he put it, and you being a ‘stress-reliever’ would boost morale around the team. Most of the them never had time for the outside world (apparently saving the world was a big commitment?) and were rarely ever able to make lasting relationships. You could accept the position, be compensated monthy, and get to live in the compound, or you could decline, and walk away with your mouth sealed by the confidentiality contract you signed before the interview.  Something about S.H.I.E.L.D. work being linked to a lot of top secret information, meaning you weren’t allowed to speak any details of the job to outside parties unless you wanted to get sued for every penny you were worth.

You had been on the cusp of taking the second option before Tony mentioned your sister’s job as S.H.I.E.L.D. as an agent. She was half the reason you’d interviewed for an internship. A couple words from Tony about her possibly falling into a fatal accident on a mission, and you took the position offer in a heartbeat.

You almost overfilled the glass while getting lost in your train of thought. Setting down the bottle of expensive whiskey, you placed the last glass next to the others on the silver tray, and picked it up, gracefully yet begrudgingly making your way back to the small gathering.

“Y/n, finally. We were just talking about who here can make a woman cum the fastest.”

The complete utter bluntness of Tony’s words caught you entirely off guard, and you tripped over your own feet, stumbling in your high heels to keep the tray of drinks from falling before Sam reached an arm out to catch the tray and another arm to hold your hip and steady you.

You ripped yourself from Sam’s touch without acknowledging or thanking him, to disturbed by Tony’s previous words to do so. You began passing out the glasses of dark liquid. “And you’re telling me this why?” Your voice was flat in hopes of showing Tony you were completely disinterested in any plans he might have.

“Why, we need your aid, Lady Y/n,” Thor answered a little too cheerfully for your taste.

“I won’t be partaking in your little immature competition of toxic masculinity.” You crossed your arms and continued. “It makes it seem that women are nothing but prizes. Games to be played by boys as they fight over the highscore. Toys.”

“Aren’t they?” Steve cocked his head, eyes glimmering with amusement while a smirk painted his face. The rest of the men chuckled at his reply.

“I think HR would be shocked to hear that Captain America is being a sexist dick to a woman in the workplace,” you bit back, but your threat was weak and they all knew it.

“I think HR would be to busy writing a condolence letter to your sisters family if, let’s say, on her mission with Sam tomorrow in Russia, a stray bullet hit her,” Steve replied. A quick reminder at the stakes. 

Sam clicked his tongue and shook his head in mock sympathy. “Those darn Russians and their careless aim.”  

He abruptly pushed himself off the couch and clapped his hands together. “I wanna go first,” he declared.

“Just remember, you can’t use your dick,” Tony added. “Some of us don’t have super soldier serum enhanced fuckwands.”

“Please never, ever say fuckwand again,” Bucky said, scrunching up his nose. “Besides, the hydra serum didn’t do anything down there.” He waggled his eyebrows while elbowing his enhanced counterpart. “Don’t think I could say the same for this punk here though.”

Steve muttered a ‘shut up’ while the group snickered.

All while they compared sizes like a bunch of teenagers, Sam manhandled you onto the coffee table in the center of the couches. You let out a grunt as you were shoved onto your front, stomach pressed into the tabletop while your pelvis was slammed into the edge.

Sam kneeled behind you and brought up two fingers to your mouth.

“Get ‘em nice and wet for me, baby.”

The men around you went quiet, entranced as you reluctantly took Sam’s fingers into your mouth, sucking on them and swirling your tongue around them.

When Sam finally pulled them out, he looked back at Tony.

“You ready?” Sam asked.

Sam hiked the flowy skirt of your dress up your legs causing you to squirm and pathetically thrash; a desperate attempt at putting an abrupt stop to this stupid game.

“You’re on the clock.”

At Tony’s words, Sam immediately stopped your desperate attempt at worming away from him by catching you by the back of your neck and slamming you back down hard on the coffee table. Much to your disdain, the rough treatment made you wet, and that was the last thing you wanted them to see.

But when Sam pulled your lacy panties down, you could tell it was the first thing he noticed.

“Fuck babygirl, I didn’t need you lubing up my fingers, you’re already drenched,” he noted.

You let out a soft moan as Sam worked two calloused fingers into your pussy. Although they’re thick and long, they were nowhere near the size of his dick and you silently thanked whatever was out there that he wasn’t splitting you in half with it at the moment. Sam released the grip on your neck, moving to settle the hand on your ass before giving it a light squeeze and a slap that elicited another moan from you. While Sam slowly began moving his fingers- twisting, curling, and pumping them- he leaned over you, caging your body under his broad chest, to speak dirty words into your ear.

“Baby, you’re so wet right now, I think you like having them watch you.” Your cheeks burned in shame while he picked up the pace. “You want them to see how well-behaved you are for me? Want them to see how you come on my hand like a good little slut?” he cooed.

Slow pumps now turned to quick thrusts from his skilled fingers and Sam groaned as you fluttered around him.

“That’s it. You’re taking me perfectly.”

Twisting his wrist so his thumb could also strum your clit, Sam was moving so fast you’d easily mistake him for a superhuman.

“Yes, Sam, please,” you cried out, eyes rolling into the back of your head.

“Uh-uh, babygirl. Wrong word,” he scolded, although his pace never slowed as his fingers brutally fucked into you.

“Daddy!” you screamed. “I’m cumming!”

You chanted those words, cunt clamping down on his merciless fingers. He gave you no reprieve, mercilessly thrusting into you, until you squirted, your release coating his hand and dripping down his forearm. Only when you were almost crying, did he finally remove his hand from your abused cunt.

“Now that-,” Sam stated, grinning while he stood. “-is how you make a girl come.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever Birdbrain.” You don’t have any strength to look at Tony as he speaks. “Give her a couple minutes before whoever’s next.”

Whatever the conversation was between them (you couldn’t hear it over the buzzing in your brain), it was much too short to your liking. The few minutes Tony gave you only felt like a few seconds before Bucky was getting up.

“Guess I’ll take a crack at it,” he announced, rolling his head from side to side.

“No one says “take a crack at it” anymore, old man.”

“Keep talking when your in last place, Sam,” Bucky quipped, however, his tone was still light.

You felt a metal hand on your hip before you were rolled over onto your back, now facing Bucky while your eyes pleaded with him.

“Please dont,” you croaked.

Bucky just scoffed, kneeling down between your legs and wrapping both arms around your thighs as he pulled you closer.

“Tony?” His hot breath fanned your pussy as he spoke and you inhaled sharply at the feeling.

“Whenever you’re ready,” Stark said.

Bucky wasted no time the moment the words left Tony’s mouth. He started by licking up from your hole to clit over and over, the lazy stripes already driving you wild. Letting go of one of your thighs to bring his flesh hand to your pussy, he pulled the hood of your clit back, pausing his licking to blow on your engorged bud.

“Such a pretty pussy, doll,” he murmured before turning his head around and speaking louder. “You guys seeing this?” 

He moved his head out of the way to showcase your glistening folds. A couple groans from the men on the couches had you trying to close your legs, but Bucky’s grip was like steel (especially considering his hand was metal).

“Wasting time Buck,” Steve commented and Bucky just rolled his eyes.

“I’m pretty sure I can still beat Sam and have time left over,” he scoffed.

Bucky directed his attention back to your folds, this time, diving in right away. He still had the hood of your clit pulled back as he encased the bud with his lips causing you to writhe at the intense sensation. And yet, you were held down with practically no effort as he methodically played with you. Each time he groaned against you, you let out an embarrassingly loud moan, and by the time he started sucking on your clit, you were wrecked. Your hand found home in his brown locks of hair while he quickly moved his tongue back and forward on your sensitive nub that was trapped in the vacuum of his mouth. The coil inside you wound tighter and tighter, and suddenly, while Bucky began shaking his head from side to side, it snapped. Your clit pulsed rapidly while encased in his hot mouth, and you screamed, legs locking around his head while your hand held his head in place. He worked you while you rode out your orgasm on his face until you could barely move.

Bucky got up from his knees, grinning down at you, so weak, you couldn’t muster it in you to glare back.

“Now I think I really fucked the brat out of you,” he said. “What was that?” He cupped his ear. “Did I hear a thank you sir?”

“Thank you, sir,” you whimpered weakly.

You were so fucked out, all the next events were but a blur.

Thor had feasted between your thighs the same as Bucky but was more sloppy, although, your body seemed to love ‘sloppy’. His tongue was constantly lashing and worming around your clit, the wet muscle accompanied by lewd slurping sounds, and in record time, Thor’s suckling and licking had you tensing and building up so much that your orgasm felt like a waterfall crashing over your body.

Steve was just as methodical and precise as Bucky, also pumping his fingers slowly in and out of your pussy. He was sweetly slow, dragging out your pleasure to the point where you were begging him to come. His warm tongue dragged across your sensitive cunt, while another hand reached up to grab a breast and pinch a nipple. You felt like your body was on fire. It wasn’t until Steve had inserted a thumb into your ass that he finally allowed your body sweet sweet release.

Your head span as finally collapsing on Tony’s floor, listening to the muffled voices above you.

You didn’t even register Stark’s words as he announced Thor had won and Steve had come in last. You barely even heard Steve’s defense that he was just enjoying himself too much in the moment.

Although ten-minutes later you had a somewhat sense of clarity, after hearing their conversation, you wished you were just unconscious. Even better, dead.

“I’m tellin’ you man, I made her squirt. She definitely came the hardest with me.” Sam’s voice rang.

“Dude- she was literally grinding against my face and holding me in a headlock with her legs,” Bucky argued.

“I literally made the brat beg to cum,” Steve inserted.

“I’d say that by bringing her to release the fastest, it was most intense with me,” Thor declared, victoriously.

You were on the brink of tears as they talked about you. Until another voice cut into the room. A female voice.

“What do you boys think you’re doing?”

It was Natasha. Your head jolted up as you felt a glimmer of hope surge through you.

That glimmer of hope was quickly extinguished at her next words.

“Not inviting me to the boy’s party?” she scolded. “You think a girl might beat you by a landslide?”

Nat squatted down next to you, running a soft hand on your cheek.

“Well you’re right. I’ll beat Thor’s record and cut it in half.”

She began unbuttoning her pants.

“And I’ll do it while riding her face.”

[faggotmox]

Insane thought:

BCC play DnD.

Bryan the long-suffering DM who has a carefully plotted out campaign but gets derailed whenever Mox pulls out a 4D galaxy brain move and dreads the question "but why can't I just..."

Mox is morally bankrupt paladin. Always snacking. Outrageously flirts with every npc to try and crack Bryan.

Regal is a high level bard and he WILL sing at the table if his character is supposed to be.

Claudio is a barbarian but tries to play non-lethally. He always apologizes before going into a rage.

Wheeler is a low level warlock. He dies a lot and suspects Bryan is trying to kill him.

OKAY BUT WHY IS THIS SO PERFECT!!!

the amount of time mox is like "but why can't i just--" then comes up with the most elebratote bullshit ever & bryan just blinks at him says "that cannot work" but then looks it all up & mox just rolls *good* always. so it fucking works & bryan's just like "cool my big bad for this two hours session is now dead & somehow mox unlocked the mysteries of the universe."

wheeler & mox yes and each other into the worst little side quests that have bryan having to write on the fly. wheeler will enecourage mox to flirt with some npc & it will somehow turn into something huge they have to take care of? & bryan's like "the fuck? how'd we even get here?" regal & claudio also support this behavior bc they think bryan secretly has fun when they challenges him. even when he bitches. mox is really into the story of the game, figuring out the mysteries. he likes being violent during fights but he really fucking loves the stories bryan writes.

bryan is a fucking map nerd (shout out to my real life dm who MAKES US FN MAPS). bryan makes graphics & maps, all sorts of shit for the party. everyone teases him but is always like this is so cool. he has a huge table top set up with their stuf & keeps it in order, changing the stuff to make it look like new terrain. bryan is all abt setting the vibe.

when regal sings in character everyone gets into (bryan does the long suffering dm bit but he thinks its wonderful regal gets so into it). eventually this leads to wheeler bringing in his steel drums, then suddenly regal has a mandolin & is skilled (like just random skill no one knew he had ), & mox brings a harmonica. its a strange little band but they do it. its fun & cute.

claudio gets really caught up in the little things & will spend half session asking bryan questions that dont't matter (no offense claudio but we dont need to know abt the flowers that grow here at the moment thank you). bryan has to work on so much lore to satisfy claudio's three year old style questioning.

bryan loves being a dm but he's pretty sure the party likes torturing him so he just pretends to be annoyed or put out. he really tailors it to his friends too.