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We looked inside some of the posts by decayinghearg and here's what we found interesting.
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Time Between Posts
4 days ago
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17
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the pain doesnt feel sharp anymore. its more dull and constant
i feel nothing but sadness and loneliness
nothingggfgfgggggggg feeels real at all
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ive broken or lost all my favorite jewelry and no one knows or cares,
so whats the point?
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it is so painful going through life when everyday i hate who i am and i am extremely lonely and there is nothing i can do about it. im trapped at home in my head wondering everyday my entire life what is wrong with me and will i ever learn what it is? i feel so so so devastatingly lonely every single day. i have 3 very good friends but only 1 real one i can be with often and even still i feel no one sees me and understands me and my pain. it feels like this huge 10 ton imaginary weight that is chained to me constantly. no one can see it except for me but it feels so obvious and i so desperately want to scream that i cant breathe with this thing. and when i happen to be close with someone, i only feel intimate if they know the 10 ton part of me no one else does. i can show them so i try so hard for them to see me, hear me, fucking understand me. but no one wants to carry a useless 10 ton weight that doesnt belong to them
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when he was breaking up with me it felt like intense pain. the day and a half before when he was ghosting me i felt so much pain and anxiety i felt like i was gonna die, just thinking about this briefly, it feels so painful. after he broke up with me it was like i was shot, or more like i had just died. the pain was dull and i felt like i wasnt anywhere. every day after was like i was missing vital organs and it still hurts about wow almost 7 months? since he broke up with me? is that real? i havent felt alive since. it still hurts but not as much as before, its easier to not think of him as much but it still hurts like fuck and 75% of being alive reminds me of him. it really just feels like he ripped my heart and soul out. it will be only 1 year of when we first talked on the 18th. i wonder if he will think of me.
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how pathetic it is of me to be this upset over a guy i knew for less than 5 months
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i was deleting ipad imessages and i saw his chat and im having the worst panic attack 😂😂like why??? hes just a guy. “im just struggling on figuring out whats best for me vs whats the right thing to do”😣😣😣😣😣😣.
im so stupid😂😂🤪
how did i not know he was still in love with his ex? i think i did know i just didnt want to believe bc why tf would you pursue some1 if u still loved ur ex…… heloo?? i bet he was cheating on me lmfaoooo
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this is the first time since we broke up that im listening to the song i would always sing to him. it reminded me of him so much. but the song didnt even remind me of him. its just expressing how much love i had for him and how obsessed i was with him. i would always write down the lyrics to that song, i would text it to him, i printed the lyrics down to scrapbook. its an awesome song i love it. but thats all it is now. a great song. thats it
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its so funny how when we were cuddling and watching a movie i GLANCE at his phone and him and his ex are saying i love you. like r u kidding me. n u expect me to just be fine???? i most definitely was just ignoring it bc i wanted him to love me
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i had a dream he was more in love with me than he ever was. i hated it
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i spent the whole year losing my mind over some guy who i barley knew. if i had never met him i would be in such a better place right now. i obsessed over him and dropped everything to be with him. just because he was nice to me
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