authadia

[authadia]

[authadia]

Tell me when you get bored. A story about doses. [x]

I posted this on twitter and had a variety of aggressive ableism thrown my way.

This is a story about changing what I can in spite of what I cannot for the comfort of my loved ones. The thing that others find to be hurtful about me is that I like to spend time in silent solitude. People who love me often feel hurt that I tend to solve my own problems instead of leaning on them.

When we spend too much time together, people find my neutrality to be concerning, and it becomes too much for people to be unable to read me.

To show the people I love that I enjoy their company in ways they can understand, I pool my energy together to be high-energy, peppy, and social. Since this is not my natural state of being, it takes effort, which can only be expended in small doses. I amplify the things people like in me while filtering out everything they dislike about me when I am in their company.

I change my behaviors for those I love, but at the end of the day, I cannot change my neutral state of being, which is the thing that they want most out of me.

This is a story about me accommodating people in the best way I know how, not the other way around. I would truly appreciate it if people don't misconstrue this anecdote as me asking for dismissal of hurtful behavior when in reality, people find hurt in the fact that I simply exist, and I must change for them.

[authadia]

This is where we are. Anti-trans pogroms have begun and the community is living in fear. Things are so bad that some of us are unable to live anymore.

Where is the left? Where are our allies?

#TDoR2024

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ok but fr cis ppl are like "oh so you were a boy but now youre a girl? ill make sure to remember you as primarily a boy who i have to remember to call a girl" instead of just "you are a girl". this is why my dad Accidentally misgendered my friend who he had only ever known as a trans girl, and other such behaviors. in this essay

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i think of the term "cyberpsychosis" as a misnomer; in my version of the cyberpunk 2020 world, it's more of a way for corporations to acquire slaves. someone gets enough cybernetics for the corp to control, then they get subdued and arrested, then put in jail and forced to do slave labor for the same corp that took control of their body in the first place. or is that silly? idk

hihi i've been loving your anti 5e posts bc i also dislike it quite a bit! but a while ago, before cyberpunk 2077 came out, i learned that it was actually based on a ttrpg called cyberpunk 2020!

and from that, a new hyperfixation was born

your post specifically about HP being weird and kinda magic in 5e reminded me of it, because 2020 does something I really like with HP, check it out:

this is the HP bar, it's completely fixed! it really emphasizes that humans are really just absurdly fragile, since you can take barely any damage before it starts fucking up everything. if you have a serious wound, you get a flat -2 to the Reflex stat (the analog to Dex). a critical wound cuts Reflex, Intelligence, and Cool stats in half, and a mortal wound reduced to a third.

further, wounds on body parts have their own rules! if you take 8pts of damage to a limb, it's completely destroyed or severed and you have to make a death save immediately. a head wound of this severity insta kills, but since heads take double damage, taking 4pts of head damage insta kills :D

oh and ive never actually seen a ttrpg have a system for going into shock, but that's what the Stun values up there are for. if you take any wound, you have to roll a shock save (Body stat - Stun) to stay conscious. since Body ranges from 2 to 10, most people go into shock before they die lmao.

and since a club or the cheapest pistol does 1D6 damage, you can see how all combat is super dangerous.

there's a bunch more stuff about this that system that i love, and i can rant about it too if you like!

but it's also sucky in a lot of ways, like how getting any cybernetics (including prosthetics!) reduces your Humanity score for some vague reason, which makes you less empathetic and more prone to cyberpsychosis. pretty fucking ableist imo.

if i ever find enough ppl to run a 2020 game, then im just gonna make it so that a prosthetic just. Doesn't Do That. and also it shouldn't be for some vague reason, my take on it is that the cybernetic enhancements are manufactured by corporations, and the more enhancements you get, the more your body is controlled by a corp.

anyway that's my rant about my fav ttrpg :)

maybe a debt system for cybernetics? idk. i love this tho thanks for sharing <3

[authadia]

hihi i've been loving your anti 5e posts bc i also dislike it quite a bit! but a while ago, before cyberpunk 2077 came out, i learned that it was actually based on a ttrpg called cyberpunk 2020!

and from that, a new hyperfixation was born

your post specifically about HP being weird and kinda magic in 5e reminded me of it, because 2020 does something I really like with HP, check it out:

this is the HP bar, it's completely fixed! it really emphasizes that humans are really just absurdly fragile, since you can take barely any damage before it starts fucking up everything. if you have a serious wound, you get a flat -2 to the Reflex stat (the analog to Dex). a critical wound cuts Reflex, Intelligence, and Cool stats in half, and a mortal wound reduced to a third.

further, wounds on body parts have their own rules! if you take 8pts of damage to a limb, it's completely destroyed or severed and you have to make a death save immediately. a head wound of this severity insta kills, but since heads take double damage, taking 4pts of head damage insta kills :D

oh and ive never actually seen a ttrpg have a system for going into shock, but that's what the Stun values up there are for. if you take any wound, you have to roll a shock save (Body stat - Stun) to stay conscious. since Body ranges from 2 to 10, most people go into shock before they die lmao.

and since a club or the cheapest pistol does 1D6 damage, you can see how all combat is super dangerous.

there's a bunch more stuff about this that system that i love, and i can rant about it too if you like!

but it's also sucky in a lot of ways, like how getting any cybernetics (including prosthetics!) reduces your Humanity score for some vague reason, which makes you less empathetic and more prone to cyberpsychosis. pretty fucking ableist imo.

if i ever find enough ppl to run a 2020 game, then im just gonna make it so that a prosthetic just. Doesn't Do That. and also it shouldn't be for some vague reason, my take on it is that the cybernetic enhancements are manufactured by corporations, and the more enhancements you get, the more your body is controlled by a corp.

anyway that's my rant about my fav ttrpg :)

maybe a debt system for cybernetics? idk. i love this tho thanks for sharing <3

[authadia]

if you have not thrown low dose naltrexone at it you have not tried everything. I am like a "have you tried weed" guy but for low dose naltrexone

[authadia]

I took my second ADHD pill a little too late I guess because it was suddenly 4 am and I made this thing about why parasitic organisms are shaped like ways and how to consider that for your fiction settings. Raw text version below the cut for people with busted seeing:

Keep reading

[authadia]

i dont consider myself a 'fashion guru' by any means but one thing i will say is guys you dont need to know the specific brand an item you like is - you need to know what the item is called. very rarely does a brand matter, but knowing that pair of pants is called 'cargo' vs 'boot cut' or the names of dress styles is going to help you find clothes you like WAAAYYYY faster than brand shopping

[authadia]

heye every one.

[authadia]

I'm gonna reblog with some videos of people speaking various American Indian/indigenous American languages, because I think most people don't even know what they sound like. Not to be judgement of that—just, you know, I think people who want to be informed should know what they sound like!

[authadia]

The Inheritance Cycle has truly reawakened my passion for reading in a way that feels different than any other passion I've felt in my life. This is probably because of my new ADHD medication but it really brings me so much joy.

Christopher Paolini is so incredibly good at describing scenes and settings that I can truly imagine them. I remember reading this series back in my teenage years and I remember just barely skimming it. I remember the big bits, like major character deaths or whatever, but not the little things. Not how Farthen Dûr looked, or the area around it. Not how Nasuada actually looked, or that time that Eragon got hit on by some sorceress.

I hope I can find more sources of joy in other things, too. If digging up old favorites is a trend, maybe I need to start playing Skyrim again, or drawing on an easel. I'm sure my drawing tablet will suffice, though.

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it'd be cool if ppl (including other trans women) could vocalise their support of trans women with non "normative" bodies without literally just sexually harassing us on positivity posts.

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I looooove going the speed limit. the people behind me sure don't tho

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One of the stranger things about training brand new nurses is explaining how to min max small talk. It feels very weird to coach people on how to chat.

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adhd is so embarrassing ur basically like “I have to have fun right the fuck now or I’m throwing myself off the roof” 90% of the time and you also have very little control over this

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I just wanted to share this article about Palestine's right to revolt and why it is important that we support it. It also has sources embedded in the text that debunk misinformation about them and Hamas. I implore everyone to read it and spread this information around.