#speaking of maybe the writers were right to give him his whole sympathy story BEFORE they nerfed his moral compass

[gayemoji]

oh yeah okay go ahead kiss a ninE year old what the fuck !!! WHAT THE FUCK !!!

whatever credit i was giving chase before null and void i never said it

[ddarker-dreams]

FINALLY SOMEONE SAID THE TRUTH.

I admit that i enjoyed act 3 but it feels like really rushed i have so much complain with that.

The build up until act 2 was so good it give us so much premise but the final blow si meh. Sorry that i want to share thing long rant with you

1. Why the final talk is with yae, no offense to her but we need ei to explain not to mention she witness khaenriah downfall so she can give us more information, i feel like they do it for the plot armor so they can just keep dragging this

2. So many things that quite inconsistant, the shogun is show no mercy to anyone that even did a little thing outside what she think its right, how come she can still have a talk with signora, when sara is falling like that, and also there is no clarification about sara right now.

The traveler was so done at first they refuse to help thoma and ayaka at the beginning. But they seem so happy and forget everything how come they are not RAGE ( okay maybe this is to bias and personal) when this nation provide nothing about our siblings information and also why they are not mention anything about their problem in ei stroy quest. Its nonsense! She is right in front of youu, ask about your siblings, ask about khaenriah, ask about ukmown god!!. How come they can just forget like that. Also mihoyo really waste the potential about twin things i thing ei will give us so much help bcs of the sympathy that we both rn lost our twin but noooo.

3. Kokomi seem lost some brain cell, she make a very succesfull grand intro but she become meh in act 3, how come a great strategist like her let the sus sponsorship slip just bcs they are desperate, not to mention her screen time is really small and her role seem so unsignificant and it feels lile she is a plain npc.

4. The awesome world quest that we have done doesnt get any mention at all! Inazuma owe us so much with cleansing sakura, thunder sakura, tatarigami, obarashi quest. It has so much potential that yae or ei or anyone else aknowledge what traveler has been done but nooo.

cracks knuckles... i suppose it's time for my promised dissertation. interestingly enough, you touched on a lot of the main issues i had with chapter III.

i think that if i had to pin the main issue, it's a lack of overall cohesiveness? we were jumping all over the place without the chance to ever flesh things out. inazuma is a smaller cast, but i feel like we didn't get to see any of them shine. since i'm most interested in the genshin characters, i'll break down my problems by going over everyone and their (lack) of impact on the story.

was ayaka not questioned or placed under suspicion for being close to thoma before his escape? i wanted to see her broken up over her duties as they relate to the yashiro commission, paired with having someone she genuinely cares about in danger. it would've been an interesting struggle if she was forced to choose one or the other. instead she just kinda took a back seat.

speaking of thoma, i don't even have anything to say, because he just... was there? for .0001 seconds. said "lol this sucks ig" and that's about it. i know we're going to get a story for him in the future since he's a 5* but i'm not getting my hopes up 😭 then in the raiden shogun's character story, man is peachy keen! be upset with the raiden shogun! have some inner conflict! even if it's just using loaded language because he's under surveillance for going against the raiden shogun, that'd be so cool. saying something like,

"Traveler, what's with that expression? Oh please, there's nothing to worry about. We're under the Statue of the Omnipresent God's protection. Nothing bad has ever happened here." *wink*

i also don't know what to say about gorou. he was... there....... i think. what is he fighting for? what are the stakes for him? what makes him place so much trust into kokomi? i'm out of things to say about him because i don't remember anything he did or said.

kokomi... oh kokomi... i was so hyped. so excited. i thought that maybe we could see a foil to the raiden shogun. that she'd have a moment where she's forced to realize, just like her opponent, sacrifices must be made that will hurt people who will never understand why she made them. or maybe something to show her military prowess. but instead she just accepts a mysterious patron's help (?), sees her people aging like the grateful dead from JJBA, and goes oh well. that sucks. what can ya do. oh bye traveler i guess, good luck with that. ????????????? HUH... similar case to thoma where she's gonna get a character story but like. she won't be the leader of the resistance anymore. that was her whole shtick. they took her shtick away. also she forced me to interact with more NPCs whose names i've already forgotten so i'm tilted about that still.

KUJOU SARA... AN INJUSTICE. A DISGRACE. a slap to my woman loving face. the build up was there. yae miko's comments about sara probably knowing the tenryou commission is involved in shady dealings, but is choosing not to think about it. sara being forced to confront reality and challenge her adopted father with the truth. being able to blaze a new path for herself in the process. when she started running to the raiden shogun i was ultra hyped up. sara, a devotee to the shogun for so long, was about to see her god interacting with the same people who led inazuma to this awful state. how would she react? would she stay ignorant, like yae miko so coyly said, choosing to look away in favor of following her god's footsteps? or would she be forced to recognize the raiden shogun isn't as divine as she once thought, and challenge her belief system?

we open the door to see the raiden shogun. the loading screen ensues. the camera pans to the ominous room, clouded in darkness, hinting at the ominous confrontation that is to come. the music takes a serious timbre. and then...

well fuck that potential character arc i guess. (we still don't know what sara made of any of this since she poofed out of existence from the story at this point)

kazuha also was handed a similar treatment. we've been with him for a while longer now. he is our introduction into inazuma, the one who first gets us emotionally involved by regaling us with the bittersweet tale of friendship that led him to becoming a wanted criminal. a kind soul who loves nature yet was dealt a cruel hand by fate, forced to watch his home nation turn into a hostile place, where his dear friend ultimately perished as a result. we get the scene with his friend's vision lighting back up. he parries a block from the raiden shogun, in the same area where his friend was killed by her. the parallels. the drama. except this time, he wasn't too late. he protected the traveler where he "failed" to protect his friend in the past. did he feel redemption at this? or was it a bittersweet reminder of what could've been?

WELL i guess we'll never know because we didn't get to talk to him again 😭 idk who got a bait and switch worse, him or sara. jesus christ mihoyo.

then we have signora. why is the raiden shogun talking to her? does she know about the gnosis being taken, and if she doesn't, what was her plan to get it from the archon? what does she think about scaramouche? and oh, okay, we're fighting here now. good fight + god tier music. pog pog. okay, now we've beaten her up, and raiden shogun wyd— wait no not signora her lore is still on CUPS not YET raiden shogun and— ah she's dead. okay. non nerds who didn't read artifact lore are going to know nothing about her. signora has such an interesting story, and yet... well. ok.

then we get raiden shogun redemption (?) arc. i was hype for this as well, though at that point, idk why i bothered being hype. i knew they were gonna do a cute power of friendship something or another, and i'm good with that, so long as it's executed well. what i was envisioning was like seven different buffs to correspond with the seven different visions, the dreams of those whose ambitions were stolen serving as the spear to penetrate the raiden shogun's heart of stone. maybe a hydro vision giving us extra healing for a time, with the voice acting over it being like,

"Even if the rest of the world forgets us, let our will carry you through this one final time. Succeed where we couldn't, Traveler."

so on and so forth.

but instead we got— you get the idea at this point. why bother spelling it out anymore.

at that point i was surprised the raiden shogun didn't go "oopsie woopsie!! we made a fucky wucky!!!" because that was the vibe i was getting. i love ei, don't get me wrong, but i wanted to see her challenged with what she had done to inazuma in the past year. maybe meeting NPC #2345259 who lost her sister to the vision decree or something, reminding ei of the love she held for her sister... being forced to come to terms with the extent of what she's done in pursuit of eternity.

anyway. please for the love of god mihoyo hire better writers for the main story. that is all i ask. thank you.

[catty-words]

on the school dance fallout or, a thorough examination of the boys’ apologies to julie

full disclosure, i used to take serious issue with 1.06 for what it did to julie’s righteous anger in light of the boys letting her down, and my gripes haven’t fully gone away. but i have spent some time thinking on the fallout since my first (several) viewing(s) of the show and i finally noticed some emotionally nuanced storytelling that i needed time to come to appreciate. so, if you’ll indulge me another gif-filled meta post...

everyone knows that a good apology demonstrates an understanding of how you wronged the person you’re apologizing to, otherwise the words i’m sorry end up being fairly empty. and luckily for the boys, julie does a good job of immediately and effectively communicating her hurt feelings:

the first part is directed at luke specifically as her main co-writer, while the rest is about how all three of them let her down. it couldn’t be more clear that the reason she’s so betrayed is that a) they’ve made her feel like julie and the phantoms is less important to them than sunset curve and b) they’ve failed to consider her point of view or empathize with how important the show was to her.

which is why singing sorry a bunch of times, though charming, leaves her unmoved. and it’s why booking another gig actually makes her angrier. a gig the boys have deemed important enough to show up for is not a present or an olive branch to her, it’s a slap in the face. and if the boys had actually been paying attention to what she’d said the night of the dance, they could have anticipated her reaction.

but they clearly haven’t listened, so they haven’t learned how to do better or make things right. which is why this is such an important beat in the scene in the studio:

hounding julie to rejoin the band, even with such nice sentiments as “you’re the best thing that’s happened to us since we became ghosts”, does nothing to address how undervalued julie feels getting stood up because, as she points out above, their ability to do what they love is very limited without her. that makes her a powerful and essential member of the band, but it doesn’t prove that they care about her, julie, the person. and you can see in the reaction shot how the truth of her words lands for all of them.

their remorseful silence gives julie the opportunity to reiterate one of the points she made the night before, and it’s important to note which part of her hurt feelings she chooses to revisit.

the fact that they made the choice to pay more attention to their old music in spite of the music they were creating together is the thing that hurt her feelings the most. and, of course, her open hostility and her imagined reasons for why the boys picked sunset curve over julie and the phantoms (i.e. selfishness) puts luke on the defensive and ends with everyone leaving the scene dissatisfied.

great! okay, so here’s the part that’s bugged in the past (and the present, just. a little less so.) — in their attempt to deescalate the situation, alex and reggie give julie, and the audience, the all-important luke backstory. but like asking julie to rejoin the band with a shinier gig than a school dance flies in the face of actually making amends, so, too, does asking julie to empathize with luke’s emotional journey when the boys failed to take julie’s into account when they hurt her. only this time, it works as an olive branch.

now, i’m not saying that julie’s acting out of character in being sympathetic to luke’s pain, quite the opposite is the case. and i’m also not saying it’s bad that she does find sympathy for his situation — again, i’d argue that the opposite is true. it’s just, at the same time, it’s not a good look to force aside the young woman of color’s hurt in service of the white dude who hurt her feelings in the first place’s tragic backstory. the narrative is asking julie not to be mad at the choices luke made in the past two episodes because he’s really sad, actually.

and sure that’s an ungracious read of the moment, but i stand by the fact that it’s present in the text of the episode all the same, even with a little more nuance than i’m currently giving it credit for.

all that being said, alex and reggie do a bit to win back this highly insensitive maneuver with another stab at an apology.

alex addresses julie’s comment about them knowing “how tough it’s been for her to play” by reiterating that not showing up let her down and they get that that’s a crappy way to feel, while reggie takes a crack at julie’s “our songs were good” by emphasizing that they all love being in a band and making music with her. it’s a slight step up from their sorry in the garage, but not a complete fix because they’re all still sitting with the fact that they need julie to make the most of their music and how that complicates their declarations of loyalty.

the thing that makes this attempt at reconciliation different than those prior, of course, is this line:

the acknowledgement that things haven’t been fixed + the politeness + the implication that they’re willing to put in the time to earn her trust back so long as she lets them makes the apology a good enough one to accept. well, that, and:

one gets the sense that if rose could actually speak to julie in that moment, she’d be reminding her the value of grace. and, of course, we know that this also serves as a reminder to julie that good things are fleeting, loss is around every corner, and holding close what you care about is important. so she does just that by letting go of her (righteous, righteous) anger and reuniting the band.

still, even though alex and reggie have had their chance to make amends, luke doesn’t get the same moment to show he’s actually paid attention to julie’s needs in 1.06. so, naturally, he starts immediately in their first scene together in 1.07. 

i mentioned in my exhaustive list for “finally free” that julie picking a sunset curve song for their reunion number is a lovely, understated way for her acknowledge luke’s lost musical legacy, and i have similar feelings about the fact that luke suggests “edge of great” for their follow-up gig. it’s his first step in proving to her that he does care about the music they’ve written together with actions instead of empty apologies and misguided gestures.

by the end of the episode, though, the three of them take a step back (reggie gets points for his being, like, half a step) when they learn that, in addition to letting down julie, one of the consequences of their night chasing revenge is a ticking clock on their existence.

though i understand the urge to protect julie from the alarming news that their power is going out, there’s also a lot of selfishness behind the decision. julie loses them in the end no matter what, but lying to her about it and planning to leave without an explanation shows a disregard for her emotional journey in a similar way standing her up did. in fact, this plan is basically to stand her up for eternity. not cool, guys.

naturally, since it’s luke who’s the one proposing the terrible plan and it’s luke who never officially demonstrated his understanding of how he hurt julie’s feelings by not showing up when it mattered, it’s fitting that he’s suddenly more in tune with his own feelings. and, with that, comes a new awareness of how his and julie’s feelings interact, starting with this moment in 1.08.

you can see his conflict over her declaration. she’s worried without knowing just how much there is to be worried about, and that makes him sad because it’s confirmation of the fact that he’s important to her. that losing him will mean a lot of pain for her. but instead of cluing her in, he makes a conscious choice to continue withholding the information of his imminent departure. and maybe it’s such a weak deflection because he’s already starting to come to terms with how unfair he’s being to her, but even so, he’s not being a good friend when julie is showing up for him in big, unexpected ways he’d never even thought to ask for.

and again, here — 

— just after they’ve acknowledged that there’s a something and not a nothing between them, you can see him sober with the thought that she doesn’t know they’re about to lose each other. but it’s still not enough to move him to share. maybe because he prefers that she live with the possibility of that something when he no longer can, maybe because he’s too caught up in his own feelings about how crappy this hand they’ve been dealt by the universe is. but in any case, he keeps tight-lipped.

UNTIL.

it’s seeing her excited about a future their music can’t have that finally pushes him into coming clean. and i love how subtly this demonstrates that he has been paying attention, actually, and he knows that what hurt julie the most was the feeling that their music took a backseat to his past. if he crosses over without telling her the whole, ugly truth about the mistake he made by standing her up, then he crosses over stuck in that mistake. because part of that whole, ugly truth is the beautiful realization that no music is worth making, julie, if we’re not making it with you. and he’s not quite at that particular aspect of his truth yet — he still has to experience the what if of caleb’s club to be able to make the declaration with the conviction he does — but when he finally does tell her that and means it, she’s given the catharsis she’s needed since the dance. because he’s backing up his apology with action (i.e. being willing to literally no longer exist instead of making music with someone else) and providing her with the same consideration she showed him when she rejoined the band because his loss felt more important than her anger. and reaching that level of give and take in their relationship, physically represented in their hug, finally sets them free.

so, yes. even though 1.06 is clunky and a little tasteless at times, i can acknowledge that the story manages to win any missteps back. quite poetically, honestly. all’s forgiven.

[usagi-mitsu]

Werlyt & Gaius - a bunch of thoughts.

I am a little late to the party. I know. But I just finished the Emerald weapon and before I go to try out the „not Zenos“ weapon as in „Diamond“, I need to get my thoughts on the story straight.

Perhaps I have been spoiled by 5.0s brilliant MSQ and cannot appreciate the inherent beauty of at least decent writing any longer. But this felt so wrong and out of tune with the rest of the game. I started writing this 2 hours ago! I wanted to one in bed by now! XD But I had to get it out of my system… so….

Spoilers for the MSQ and Werlyt incoming??? And no I did not re-read this so not just spoilers but also writing errors incoming. -.-

The good

These fights are epic! I have only ever cleared the normal versions, but I loved those. They are amazing. The callbacks to Eula (her being a woman here! When did they discover that???), Regula (may he rest in peace) and Gaius himself in his prime were delightful. But I could do with a little less rotating, ok? A dragoon has positional, you know? And being allowed to pilot my very own mecha was like *chefs kiss*. On that front? Well done Square Enix!

I am also glad they were able to get another use out of Porta Praetora! That place looks amazing with the wide open field and the lake – and Ala Mhigo across it. It was one of my favourite Stormblood areas and I am always glad to return there. And of course… being able to visit the allied camp again… And Werlyt itself. It’s simply a beautiful place. It reminds me very much of southern Greece. If you’ve watched the movie Mamma Mia you know what I mean.

The music too was really nice. But I don’t think I’ll… you know… listen to it on repeat as I am doing with other parts of the soundtrack.

I’ve also loved how much amazing lore we got about Garlemald and especially the garlean military. And the military abroad. The way soldiers not from the mainland get treated. I love learning about these things.

Gaius

The man. The legend. The guy yelling in Prae.

He’s so very boring here. He has so much potential as a character and maybe I’m missing something, but all throughout this story he has been nothing but passive. He’s a reactive character in this storyline. You know. The guy who made deals with Lahabread (the d is intended), tried to take over Eorzea, lead a whole army, stood idly by as the moon dropped, almost died but then decided just not to die and then though „hm… I’ve got so much freetime now. How about I go and hunt some ascians?“ That guy is NOT a reactive character. He is active. He goes out of his way to make shit he wants happen. And in here? He seems too starstruck and devastated by his adopted kids actions to actually have one clear thought.

The only explanation I have is that he might have gotten hit in the head by something on his way to the ruby weapon. I get why he would rely on Cid for help, but the WoL??? The alliance? If you wish to be an ally and help or something, fucking act like it. You were a former legatus and I expect you to live up to your name – even after retiring.

And yeah.. I guess it’s hard having to watch your kids willingly, knowingly dying. But you fucking raised them. You are a big part of the reason to why they are in that predicament. So like… Aside from that I don’t even get why you are in this story at all.

And for the record: I’m not sorry for him. I’m just flabbergasted by all the bullshit we’ve been learning about him.

To be quite honest, I think this story could have worked just as well or maybe even better, if we got another man as the „hero“ of the story. I am talking about none other than our engineering, hammer-swinging, ex-enemy - of course talking about Nero!

The MSQ has long established that his research into the Ultimate Weapon had been taken, twisted and turned – Estinien had to experience this first-hand. I’m not saying that Nero was in need of a redemption arc and I cannot remember if these weapons were of his creation or even stem from anything he did, but it would make so much more sense for me, to have him confront his past in the garlean military like this and be responsible for the death of his former colleagues. Soldiers that he served with, whom he faught with. Give me Nero and them working together to get the weapons going and him bonding with them as his pilots to a degree. Comrades. Not that strange familiar bond that Gaius appareantly has with them. … Scratch that: Let Gaius be the father figure. Him being that wouldn’t change Nero’s relationship with them, but maybe his with Gaius as his superior.

The story wouldn’t even need to try and redeem Nero: He has already gone through major character development with the MSQ and the Omega raid tier. It would simply be Nero, confronted with the things he created, hopefully instilling more morals and a sense of responsibility for his creations. Heck: Let Cid yell at the guy! Seriously! Cid sticking around to help out would make so much more sense if it was Nero instead of freaking Gaius! Cid hated the guy! He might be a professional, but he is not one to torture himself by staying around a guy he (as far as I know) detests.

Make Nero the central figure and give Cid and Gaius the roles of „angel and demon“: One desperately trying to reach out to his old friend, reminding him why they became engineers and trying to make him realise that he can’t just run around designing weapons and leaving the scematics for everyone to read; while the other has trouble letting go of his imperial past and is struggling to see the errors of his ways – if Nero was wrong, than he (Gaius) was wrong too -and of course they did all of this for their home, to further their cause, and to bring peace to the savage lands of Eorzea, who had been fighting amongst themselves for so long… You get the point.

And you could still have these gundam themed fights. But I think everything would make so much more sense in general.

But speaking of which-

The children

I do not truly care for any of them. And that is a shame: I do think there are great characters and dynamics hidden behind these very few cutscenes. When they were first introduced I was wondering why I was suddenly watching „heartwarming“ cutscenes of my foes as children – until I realised that I was supposed to care and that they were supposed to make me feel pity for Gaius. I was supposed to feel bad for him, because they died and he blames himself. But while their fates so far have been gruesome, I cannot say that I am sad they died. They chose to die as they did. There were a myriad more options. And they chose that.

Actually. Their whole story makes me feel like they were huge masochist from the very beginning. They could have just run away and gotten help from someone more competent than them, but they stayed in an abusive military arrangement just so nobody else got hurt?? Please. Use your brains next time. And for the Berserk-like torture scene? I mean. I get what was implied here. But was it necessary? As a writer myself I follow the rule that torture and sexual violence should never be used in a story, unless it must be in there for the story to work or to bring across a vital point important to the story or it’s moral (or if you are writing porn and you are into it – but we are talking official in-game content here). But the violence towards these „children“ seems unnecessary for the plot and the violence of their deaths by piloting the weapons is already gruesome enough. Sometimes it’s better to leave things like this out – the emotional torture of feeling stuck and having a martyrs complex would have been enough here, I think. If the rest of the story had been well written at least.

(I believe my utter lack of sympathy shows how little character developement they had. I love tragic characters, who choose to suffer for the good of other people – even better if those people don’t even like them. It’s just my thing. And those kids are just… well.)

Their reasons and especially why they were making Allie out as the one who would need to survive was also just… weird. Like. I feel like 75% of what happened would not have happened, if they actually talked to each other, used their brains and had done something about their problems. But no…

These characters are also so exchangeable with basic anime/j-RPG character tropes… I only remember Alfonse, Rex and Allie – because I just did the Emerald weapon. And right afterwards I thought, „huh. So… Fullmetal Alchemist?“ Which brings me to my third point …

…the story at large.

„Pacing is a virtue“ or was it patience..? Anyhow: The author of this story should have had more patience with his story and characters and taken a bloody break! And I am not talking about the obvious blunder of „How is Allie feeling?“, „she is in shock and you cannot talk to her“ turning to „oh yeah if you are careful you can talk to her now“. I mean. WTF. That was MAYBE 10-20 in-game minutes of dialogue.

But everything was moving so very fast – and not even in a good way. There are few things better than a fast paced, action rich story about a group of young people trying to safe (their) world. But if you try to cram in two expansions worth of character development and story telling into about two hours of content each patch.. Well, then you get whatever the hell this is.

Gaius is a very interesting character and while I did not understand why they needed to bring him back in 4.4 (?), I do see how he could be a good asset for endwalker. And his involvement in 5.0 with Estinien was just a dear delight. So I am not opposed to learning more about him, to watching his character grow and changed with time. But I am not ready for badly written content of which 50% get told by suddenly induced echo-sequences. I mean – weren’t there rules for the echo at some point???

I’m not sure which one of the devs said it, but the feature that let’s you play an NPC is super convenient for them to tell the story, because before they could only show what happened where the WoL was.

And that’s just it. Rule number 1 in writing anything is „Show don’t tell“. It feels like they literally turned this one around for these cutscenes. While Valens torture and diet-Fandaniel-routine were very much „show“, the rest of the story was one long cutscene of exposition: We get exposition by Cid, by Gaius, by echo, by Gaius and his crew again, then by Allie. Before having to watch scenes we are not there for.

BTW. Dear square Enix: Your writers are capable of writing amazing villains, antagonist and despicable assholes. You don’t have to write „asshole, must die“ on Valens name card. And I also think the „WoL, strike here“ sign above his head was a tad bit too much. Nuance, dear writers. Nuance. Or perhaps I just got spoiled by these last few foes in the MSQ.

When I said I wanted to just be able to punch a bad guy for once and not feel bad about it, I did not mean this! I meant that I just wanted to play training dummy with Danny-Boy.

(Oh! And as far as I’m concerned you can just… sideline Gaius … „would be killer“ and the lady? Make them targetable NPCs with Dialoge to read. Let them stand somewhere accessible and comment on the latest developement. But ffs don’t give me hour long speeches about how you are going to kill Gaius if he does something you don’t like. The guy could and would wipe the floor with you if he felt like it. -.- So. Please. Shut up.)

Conclusion

Basically. I have to finish the Diamond weapon. But I doubt it will change my perception of this story line even in the slightest.

To be perfectly honest though … bringing Gaius back, having this story with and about him, forcing a sort of redemption ark here. It feels like they are really „grooming“ him to be a morally grey ally in Endwalker, with perhaps a big part to play in the endgame. At this point I wouldn’t even be surprised if they pulled a GoT and made him „King in the North“. Or if they had him die a heroic death to save the world, but especially his country. And to do so they need us to think his sacrifice means something. Or that he is the right person to lead Garlemald into a new future (I don’t think he is). But: For one, neither we (the players) nor the characters need to find him worthy of throne or death by heroism for his sacrifice/ascension to work. To be a useful tool for the story, only the other garleans who might oppose the alliance and scions need to deem him or his sacrifice „worthy“. And only they. And Ishikawa-san has all of 6.0 to accomplish whatever the hell she needs him for. He did not need to be the center of his own botched redemption ark. If that’s what they wanted to do. Or maybe I’m looking at this all wrong and all they wanted was to give the writes in training some literal training grounds to test their abilities.

But! On a positive note: I have yet to be told that raids and other side content are canon to any degree. So when playing the next story quests I’ll blissfully ignore all that happened in Werlyt and if it get’s mentioned (because they do that sometimes when you’ve done certain content) I’ll just ignore it.

Happy ignoring! Also: GIVE ME MORE NERO CONTENT!

[watayaaratamblr]

Arata is an unfortunate character.

No, he is NOT!

But if we wish to make him one, then we don't need one fifth of the effort put into making Taichi the "sad" character that most fans keep labeling as "Poor Taichi", and Arata would have been then the most unfortunate character in Chihayafuru. All we need is a good mangaka (Suetsugu is!) & the intention to make him draw sympathy (the whole point), simply because Arata’s story is well packed with good material serving the purpose.

Starting with the fact that he was an almost blind child … Like “looking through a magnifying glass”, hearing voices outside but being unable to see anything~ A child who had to wear glasses from the age of 3, any writer can make this a touching story if so they wished -But Suetsugu sensei did not want to.

Growing up as a weak boy who is a letdown in everything most boys do, crying alone when he fails to fit in, disappointing his father who kept pushing him to go outside and be “normal” like all the other children all while letting go of Karuta that he was confirmed to have liked since he was very young. Writing a bit of his struggles to find a place for himself within the norms could have made readers cry a lot.

His grandfather thankfully extended his hand to him, offered him a place where he can be himself; But that too, created a situation where he maybe had to take a side & deal somehow with the other side because his grandfather & his father had a fight and he can only be torn between them. I’m no writer myself, but I can make this sentimental.

Then his father took him away to Tokyo where he had to be a part of a poor family, and not only to cancel his needs & desires (like for example having different outfits for school instead of the few he will be noticed to wear frequently) but to also work sometimes to support his parents, to wake up before school time in the early mornings when other children are probably sound asleep in their warm beds, to go outside in the cold, to earn some cash and to give it to his parents … I read some real sad stories with this idea. So yeah, Arata could have been one of the saddest characters if Suetsugu wanted him to be.

And not to mention being bullied and laughed at for not only his impoverishment (which he can hope to change) but for his identity (as a boy from Fukui speaking a “weird” dialect). He received all this with lot of patience, and tried to comfort himself by himself with his grandfather’s “gift”, how it was a refugee for him.

Any writer can make a sob story out of Arata’s unspoken loneliness & yearning for home, his grandpa & for playing his beloved Karuta properly.

Or out the fact that he couldn’t make any friends in his new school either (he was confirmed to never have real friends since his childhood through the fact that he struggled to fit in + he stayed like that even after he grew up (like Murao said), and he is not someone who doesn’t care about having friends because he was confirmed to almost worship his bond with Taichi & Chihaya, Taichi specifically even though their friendship isn’t really a comforting one; he longed for friendship however it is!)

He enjoyed that friendship nonetheless, he might even have felt like he was compensated for everything he wished for through it but he was soon robbed of all of it as he was separated from these friends & while he could still enjoy a bit of it through correspondence (at least Chihaya kept in touch), he wasn't as untroubled as needed for that because he was about to lose his precious grandfather.

And the process of losing him wasn’t something to take lightly either. Having busy (or rather negligent?) parents made him (a boy not even 14 years old) a caregiver for an old man who suffered from paralysis on the right side of his body and later dementia, not as simple as that, he had to watch what his most beloved & respected person turn into day & night, when he worked “really hard” (as stated in the manga) with his rehabilitation exercises, when he helped him with his baths, he massaged his limbs, he fed him, constantly talked to him & showed him Karuta cards to “keep him” in this world. And when it's too much for him, he goes outside the room and cries bitter tears silently, all alone! There was this person who suffered from (PTSD) for years because their sick aunt didn’t recognize them (they were her favorite nephew before & they were 17 yo at the time), this person couldn’t visit her since & couldn’t see her before she died & they developed a fear of “getting too close” & of seeing sick people, they had to seek long & serious therapeutic help. And Arata actually suffered from PTSD for over a year & half, any psychologist can easily recognize that from the fact that he quit Karuta, refused to touch & hated to see the cards (I stress on this), how he answered Chihaya when she called him, how the calm & patient him (that we knew from his childhood) was agitated & treated her rudely when she insisted on playing a match. And it was all confirmed in Arata’s last words in the same chapter: “I wanted to see you, I always had, but I didn’t want you to see me like this” (in the official tr), he knew that he wasn’t himself (contrary to what Taichi thought, his friend who decided to abandon him instead of trying to help. Chihaya still had faith in him but Taichi was louder -ch10)

Still, thanks to Chihaya, Arata was back to his beloved Karuta, though we all questioned how much fun he really felt while playing again, how much of him was involved with the game now. And eventually, he himself expressed the pressure (not the fun) he felt while playing. What took his passion away, what turned the feelings of a Karuta baka into mere obligation, this also is good content for an emotionally charged story, it only needs the intention of the writer.

And he shone in the world of Karuta. YET he was never “proud” of it, that was never received as anything special. When he comes back home, none really cares (or at least, none shows any enthusiasm), he goes to the western-challenger qualifiers and his parents won’t even go watch, won’t even prepare some food for him, he comes back home late & finds none, and prepares everything by himself (apart from Yu’s help). His parents pray for his defeat, meaning that his DREAM to become Meijin/be strongest in Karuta doesn’t mean much to them, and he knows it, and he was never shown telling them the news like when you want to share a happy one. Arata’s mother -before giving up after acknowledging Arata’s dedication- wanted his defeat even though there was enough money to support him, the lack of money being the excuse she & her husband claimed to be the reason of their lack of support.

The support system Arata lacks isn’t only in his family. Since the death of his grandfather he seems to stand alone in Karuta too. Murao was the only one who spared some time for him but only after he realized how “alone” he was and took pity on him. Murao's realization implies that the training Arata was doing at the Nagumo society didn’t really count for what he really needed. Kuriyama sensei (being expected by fans to be the “Harada” in Arata’s side) was almost useless & he himself expressed his confusion about what to do with him & how to help him. We never saw him particularly guide him in any way either. "Experiences" & "taking chances" were two factors that helped Mizusawa members for example to grow a lot, but these chances are doors without knobs & we know that they were opened for them by adults who were taking care of them in a way or another + being friends ensured that they encouraged each other then proceeded with every idea they got to learn & experience more. Arata lacks both these sources (adults around him rather burdened him with their expectations) so he kept training on his own mostly & we saw how it felt frustrating to him to be relying only on his solo training & an "image" encouraged by a long-dead teacher, he realized the toll of lacking real opponents in practice with whom he can measure his abilities & correct his mistakes to grow stronger. Support can also be emotional. Did Arata ever receive particular emotional support? I can only remember panels where the people worried for him kept watching him from afar while he dealt with it on his own.

Yu was an exception but even her support was written in a way suggesting that Arata was prepared to go on without it. Because with time, Arata learnt to "not expect much" which is also a very interesting trope for a sad story.

And he was described as “a lonely player on top” but this was never elaborated to show how it felt like to be one for Arata himself. This idea is also brilliant for melancholy if the author wanted fans to sympathize with Arata but she didn't go beyond praising Chihaya who could somehow reach him & Shinobu chan.

And while playing on his own (or working part time to support himself), taking care of himself, he met his two precious friends again (they were the only selfish desire Arata has openly expressed throughout the series). But what he felt is that he was left behind & that he was the only one so far away. And he was. They got to experience so many things he didn’t, they made new friends & new bonds & he didn’t, they got closer to each other & he didn’t… At the end he went back to be the outsider & them the two old childhood friends. If the author wrote just a little bit more about these, if she highlighted these facts they could have made a good drama.

Love is the main reason Taichi is "felt for" (because he progressed in karuta but not in Love ..not yet at least). Arata is also a part of the love triangle in Chihayafuru, and if we try to summarize it with the intention of making it sad, then let's go, there is enough to say for that, we just need a good writer (which I'm not sadly). Still in short: Arata seems to have started to develop feelings for Chihaya a long time ago but he had to keep that in check because he thought she was dating Taichi & he kept his distance out of respect for that assumed relationship even though he craved at least connecting with his old friends. When he came closer, Chihaya was interested in him but he never knew, the enthusiasm she showed him was not different from how she is with everyone, no, Taichi received special treatment, while for him, every time he tries to say something to her he is cut off somehow. Everything seemed to be against them getting close. Later Chihaya seemed to have ultimate fun with Taichi too, maybe that was the only thing he thought he could give her, now she didn't need it. Maybe he had that thought again when she praised his game against Harada sensei that's why he confessed but soon, She is once again so far away, she seemed to need Taichi to function properly, he understood that & he used that to cheer her up in her most important tournament. He wanted badly to play with her again to only be totally iced, he couldn't even be seen by her, he was so far away, she belonged to where he wasn't part of (& even her friend kana found a way to express her disapproval of him) Can we not make a drama out of this? Or out of his stuttering, awkwardness & introversion? Or maybe the fact that his parents don't understand him? And did anyone alse feel that in most of Taichi's mother's appearances, we got this feeling that Taichi is a son who should be cared for while when Arata's parents appeared, many times, we can feel how Arata was used to highlight their feelings as individuals & he was drawn there as the member of the family who had to pay attention to that? Anyway, every single one of these points alone is very good material for a "tearjerker" so what about all of them combined? because they are all facts from Arata's reality.

Again, all we need is a good writer (we have it) & the intention to make it that way which isn't there. Suetsugu decided instead to put double the effort to make Taichi the "sorrowful/anguished" one because Arata is not a character written to feel sorry for or to commiserate. He is rather written for the most part of the manga as an inspiring one, an aspiration, to be a drive & a goal. So despite having all the above circumstances, he is instead written as a character who keeps to himself, doesn't complain, hides his hardships, makes it seem that he fine when he notices that someone is watching, tries to focus on what he has & be happy with it however little or simple. That's why it's easy for him to forget & forgive, easy for him to recover & stand up again because there are other characters who need him there as an example, who think that he is perfectly fine so they should only focus on themselves and thus, Bildungsroman can be used for them. And finally- wait, what were Taichi's problems again?

----------------------------------------------------

Writer adds:

[emeraldoodles]

Long Grindeldore Fics

Here’s a list of Grindeldore Fics that are longer. I tried to pick only fics over 10k or are going to be over 10k in the future.

Zwischen Immer und Nie (Between Always and Never) by sudowoodo

Words: 38563

Albus smiled and tossed the manuscript back on the table. "It's the rest I don't agree with. I simply cannot get behind that American rule."

Gellert laughed loudly. "You wish to marry a Muggle, Albus? There is something you're not telling me, yes?"

Albus tipped his head sideways, growing weary of his friend always missing the point. "Oh, I don't know. I feel some sympathy with those who are not allowed to love freely." Gellert's gaze became fixed on the floor before his eyes roamed up to take in Albus' face. Albus placed his hands on his stomach and sighed gently. "I can only imagine what it's like not having the freedom to walk hand in hand with my love, or marry them, or kiss them in the street."

There was a long pause. Then, seriously, "What are you talking about, Albus?"

"I think you know."

-A summer of 1899. Has  a Victorian feel with themes of homophobia. There’s a cry scene that got to me. I like how Ariana and Alberforth are written.-

Hold on by OUATgirl

Words: 26,631

After their famous duel in 1945, Albus Dumbledore decides to give his old friend another chance. Instead of being held in Nurmengard, Gellert Grindelwald will serve his time under the watchful eyes of the new hero of the wizarding world. But Albus cannot plan everything, and things might be more difficult than he anticipated

-I like how Dumbledore was written. Very cute and slow. Writer is currently working on a sequel-

same apartment, roommate's gone by Anonymous

Words: 10,176

After nearly five decades of imprisonment, Gellert Grindelwald was ready to break free.

-Very funny, but it is serious too. Gellert takes over the mind of Lockhart because there ain’t nothing there.-

Defence Professor Wohl by DarthKrande, NeverBeyondRedemption

Words: 54,421

Gilderoy Lockhart landed himself in St Mungo's after his 'Cornish Pixies' class. Where can a headmaster now find another Defence teacher, one who's knowledgeable beyond doubt, willing to face the curse on the position, and available to start in a few days? In Nurmengard, that's where.

-I really like the beginning of this fic, the ending dragged after chapter 18, but that’s probably because the later chapters focus on Harry.-

rummaging for answers in the pages by kittysorceress

Words: 37,620

It is the summer of 1899 and Albus Dumbledore is ready to venture into the great wizarding unknown. Instead, he finds himself at a dead end, keeping house for his siblings in Godric's Hollow. Bored. Lonely. Wasted.

That is, until he meets his equal.

-A collection of Albus's journal entries from the summer of 1899, detailing his adventures and the innermost workings of his mind, from the mundane to the sublime.-

So Many Chances Unseen by The_Marron

Words : 32,043

Dumbledore wants to die, Severus Snape doesn't want him to, and there is also an ex-Dark Lord trying to get his ex back. Maybe.

-This is broken up into 5 parts that total the word count. Is completed. Albus is an ass and I loved it! Slow burn with old men. Loved the ending! Wish this is how the books ended.-

Thirty-Five Owls by Letterblade

Words:11,284

Being a correspondence between Albus P.W.B. Dumbledore, Grand Sorcerer, Supreme Mugwump, etc., and the prisoner Gellert Grindelwald, of some decades in length.

-Gellert and Ablus are penpals? Kinda. It’s sweet, it’s angry and it’s sad. It’s Grindeldore in a nutshell.-

Extreme Incantations by meanwhiletimely

Words: 10,043

Gellert makes a discovery in Albus's bookshelves that results in a revelation.

-Very much smut, but with a plot… no maybe just a point? Dark magic sex during 1899. Bottom Gellert.-

My hands in yours by FrozenBrownie

Words: 21,452

A student of Hogwarts, died in Albus Dumbledore’s arms. What impact this unnecessary death of a child (again) would have on him, on England, on Hogwarts, neither the watching centaurs nor that desperate wizard with his wrists in unconnected metal chains could have foreseen. There was a man, of course, who did, roused in his sleep from the agitation of his husband over a thousand miles away. And thus, a story different from the one that could have come to pass began.

-Albus is shackled and leaves his life to find Gellert.I’m a sucker for fics about magic restriction shackles. Several parts.-

Happily Ever After, Being an Account of a Victorian Fairy Tale in Five Parts by azurish

Words: 10,281

When you’re hunting down the stuff of fairy tales, you shouldn’t be surprised when your own life turns into a fairy tale. In a universe in which Ariana wasn’t killed, Albus and Gellert attempt to track down the Hallows. Gellert knows that Albus is in love with him, and it’s convenient to indulge him – but that’s all there is to it. Right?

-Albus and Gellert go on their journey for the Hallows and have been traveling for a while together. Gellet is a piece of shit and Albus is dumb (stop just putting on unknown jewelry!)-

His Majesty's dragon by FrozenBrownie

Words: 18,369

Used in Open Combat – Dragon Corps in short. Albus’ magical power, ability and control apparently were up to the required standard to be considered for the training program for Aviators. Of course he had had no intention to go into the military whatsoever, but then, Gellert Grindelwald had stumbled into his life. Oh, how they had loved one another, fiercely, fiery, distructive -

-Dragon riders and set in 1759. Is a series. Writer working on 2nd part.-

Let Perpetual Light by tehtarik

Words: 65,726

In the village of Godric's Hollow, the Dumbledore family is falling apart. Kendra Dumbledore is dead under mysterious circumstances, and Albus is the unwilling guardian to his wayward brother Aberforth, and Ariana, their mad sister in the attic. But everything changes with the arrival of Gellert Grindelwald, violently charming juvenile delinquent with an obsession for the fabled Deathly Hallows.

-Ariana is a main character. Summer of 1899.-

Nurmengard by red_camellia

Words: 12,002

After Grindelwald's defeat in 1945 he is put in Nurmengard, unable to move on and haunted by memories of their past Dumbledore begins visiting Grindelwald. "But whenever Dumbledore was there, it was like looking into the Mirror. They both looked at each other and yet, did not see each other."

-A melancholy fic. Albus keeps visiting Nurmengard years after the battle of 1945.-

Shadows Die Twice by Phytine (Taouret)

Words: 68,922

Albus Dumbledore, after having been expelled from Hogwarts, has no choice but to go to Durmstrang in order to finish his education. There, he meets a very charming boy, Gellert Grindelwald and, despite the warnings, decides to befriend him.

What Albus doesn’t know is that Durmstrang is the Devil’s territory. Before he can understand what is happening, he gets caught in a dangerous web. The unconscious prey has fallen.

But there is one thing that Grindelwald hasn’t taken into account: Dumbledore is no man to be taken down easily and, the monster is never far away in a wounded heart.

-Do you want a really fuck up Albus and just as equally fucked up Gellert? This is your fic. Warning, includes rape, abusive relationship, blood fetish, chocking. Not completed.-

Phoenix Tears by PrincessElectra

Words: 46,739

The summer of 1899 ends with less destruction and heartbreak, but love is not a victory march and the darkness is still a seductive temptress. Albus Dumbledore/Gellert Grindelwald.

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves. I refuse to accept that there is any future where the world is better place with us apart.”

-Gellert decides to stay with Albus but he can’t quite give up on his old goals Lots of fluff.-

liminality by verivala

Words: 7,981

Instead of killing Albus, Gellert imprisons him. Neither of them have a good time.

Grindelwald Wins AU

-Still being written. Gellert is trying to cage Albus and Albus is trying to escape, if only mentally. It does have darker themes like mind control, magic restrict, twisted love.-

The Trial of Albus Dumbledore by Aurora_xx

Words: 51,613

Albus Dumbledore has to attend a disciplinary hearing for withholding invaluable information about Gellert Grindelwald, deliberate misdirection and performing a blood pact with the person who currently represents the biggest threat to the wizard community.

Unknowingly, he takes Veritaserum before.

-Albus is held trial and forced to speak the whole truth.-

The Glass House by Skurf, TheMoonGuardian (moonchampion)

Words: 24,327

Brightest student of Hogwarts's 1899 graduating class, Albus Dumbledore was about to set off to travel the world. He was going to revolutionize the Wizarding World. Then Ariana Dumbledore killed her mother in a fit of uncontrollable magic, and he was sent back home to be her caretaker.

He was 18, resentful, and utterly miserable. Until Bathilda Bagshot introduced him to her alluring nephew, Gellert Grindelwald.

(The one where Ariana doesn't die, and the boys take her along on their quest to find the Elder Wand.)

-I almost feel bad putting this on the list, because it looks to forever be incomplete. But the bantering between Albus and Gellert is just too enjoyable not to include.-

Never Too Careful by DrSalazar2U

Words: 29,694

"So that, when my mother died, and I was left the responsibility of a damaged sister and a wayward brother, I returned to my village in anger and bitterness. Trapped and wasted, I thought! And then, of course,

he came..." 

Gellert presents a life changing opportunity, but Albus quickly learns that when it comes to eternal glory, one can never be too careful.

-Lot of smut, but there is still a plot. But lots of summer sex. I like how Ariana and Abeforth are written.-

[whoslaurapalmer]

okay, final rule of wolves thoughts, clearly very spoilery, also literally just me talking about writing --

-there was a LOT going on plot wise but I feel like it was all paced pretty well, but at the end it did fall apart a little? mayu's pov just drops out?? (that's the book you should write next leighb not more crows as much as I love the crows but I'll get to that) zoya being queen is like phenomenal but also is really rushed?? same with nina and hanne?? they all become rulers completely unchallenged, without any difficulty?  -again, phenomenal moments and rightfully so and I'm glad they happen and they SHOULD, that difficulty shouldn’t always be there, nina calling it a beautiful dream but it being real matters so much, but it just doesn't feel.......narratively well done idk idk -i think it is just that it feels really rushed in some way  -like i don’t want them to have to work harder for that. but it IS really, really rushed 

-captain inej. my whole heart -kaz and jesper and wylan..........also my whole heart -kaz. my boy. the light of my fucking life.  -l o v e  h i m 

-i loved seeing zoya and genya and alina hang out at the very very end and wish there'd been moreeeeee

-ONCAT’S STILL ALIVE, THERE IS A GOD  -misha.......... :( 

-david's death -- on one hand, the cruel casualties of war, even when you think nothing can go wrong, the contrast in it happening right after the wedding, war and life can turn on a dime and that’s just, how it happens -- but, ugggg. It hurts bc there was so much of david and genya being precious and that shouldn't be the slap in the face it is when you read it again because then it's not sweet it's just foreshadowing loss and that's actually aggravating to think about. because we got so MUCH of it in rule of wolves. -especially bc david is THE ONLY casuality of the cast in this book????? literally the only one?????? unless i forgot someone????  -not that I WANTED more cast to die but. big casualties in alina's story and one (1) here. yes they've already lost a lot and zoya's garden shows that but, then especially why kill david 

-i don't know if I think the darkling gets redeemed -- I think it's a little funny that he brings together the starless one worshippers and he super hates them bc they aren't what he thinks he deserves and he can't completely manipulate them -- and I think him being resurrected in yuri in king of scars was a FASCINATING twist. because you read that and you think, oh my god, how are they going to handle that?????? 

-but, that's the thing, in writing -- it's not enough to write something that's a fascinating twist, you need to follow through with the right consequences of that twist. which means, you have the darkling again. what happens with him? he’s killed again -- but if immediately, why bring him back? if they wait to kill him, what is his worth to the plot that he lives longer? (and then he manages to manipulate them again!! as much as i wanted to see alina, i was really surprised that they actually, legitimately put them in the same room, that they even considered it, that they even asked alina!!! yes, nikolai will expend any avenue to help ravka -- but put alina and the darkling in the same room??????????) 

-he’s not killed again, or right away -- then he has to hang around. what does he do? does he try to regain his followers? he can’t because they aren’t who he wants. he has no one to go to. he doesn’t even go to alina again even if he knows where she is.  does he immediately plot against nikolai? but even the darkling admitted he can’t, but, since he did keep his powers, he’s clearly capable of it, actually. so then he’s just, trying to get the worshippers together and it just keeps going wrong for him like a sitcom plot? if he has to live -- is he redeemed? not every character can be redeemed. not every character DESERVES to be redeemed. does he hide and we never see him for the rest of the book? then that leaves an unresolved plot thread to be brought back later, and why? and then why not just kill him?  -then does he become a bigger plot problem for the characters that’s kind of unnecessary?

-so it brings me back to, again -- as fascinating a twist as it was, was it necessary? does the act of following through with the consequences come to outweigh the power of the twist, because those consequences cause more problems?  -and in general i think leighb is really good at working with ‘x happens -- there are consequences’ in her plots, so that’s why i’m so concerned about picking them apart 

-i’m sorry to make this like all about lulu talks about writing semantics but i respect leighb a lot as a writer particularly in her worldbuilding and characters which is why i want to think about this on a technical level  -so in the end -- is it a good twist??? or does it only harm or reduce the narrative that came before (he had to die and that was okay!!!!) and add an unnecessary additional plot problem to the narrative now??

-but -the darkling having to be the one in the thornwood, and finally stop the spread of the fold, what he himself was responsible for, that he deserves to finally suffer for because the darkling is a fuckwad and I hold like zero sympathy for him????? beautiful beautiful beautiful. (-but, again, it felt kind of too convenient, to have that be the answer to the blight.) (what should be the answer? i don’t know. it makes me wonder if the blight was something else unnecessary)  -but then genya forgiving him, for knowingly giving her to the king??? (not everyone has to be forgiven. not everyone can be forgiven.) zoya fulfilling his wish to be a saint???? which she did not have to do???? (guess it would appease the followers though??) giving him a pov???? like we need to know where he is, and it's funny that he's pissed off at the followers, but also maybe shouldn't be funny??? -oh what would've been fun (the good fun. not funny fun) was him wrestling with yuri more

-SPEAKING OF WRESTLING i know nikolai has to come to terms with the demon somehow and the failed obisbaya apparently helped but the demon was in the back quite a bit, I thought, even for as much as he shows up -maybe it’s just because it’s been like a year since i read king of scars 

-okay so the ending  -i know leighb said she wanted this to be like the grand finale of grishaverse but that she was still open to more and like i completely understand that but  -knowing when to end something is important, too. -every story has a natural conclusion. I think, yeah, there’s always, some piece that could probably still be talked about, BUT – you can’t just keep going back to a story or a world and try to draw more out of it, keep pushing something in it so you can push your characters and your story more and more. eventually it won’t feel the same. it won’t be a natural ending anymore, it will be, here is an end, OH LOOK HERE’S A NEW THING, here is an end, OH LOOK HERE’S ANOTHER NEW THING, and that’s already happening a little here. (-i don’t think it was bad that it happened with nikolai at the end of ruin and rising -- that’s leighb addressing the consequences of something that she set up, and why i think king of scars was necesary.) -stories end. character arcs, as we know them, come to an end. if not, then they are just mined for content, usually angst and drama, and that’s especially not good writing. you risk stopping creating something that feels genuine.  -so yeah i think king of scars was necessary to talk about the aftereffects of nikolai’s demon and where ravka is going. but i don’t know if i think it was successful.  -what bothered me about king of scars, even with the parts i did like, was actually nikolai and zoya meeting elizabeta and juris and grigori -i don’t know if i just thought it was unexpected and i’d feel differently if i read it again?? but i never forget reading it last year and feeling just, weird about it, like it was too out of left field, idk  -i think the connection between saints = grisha is important. but again it’s all just, execution stuff 

-i don’t think she should’ve set up a whole new adventure in the last like four pages, if it’s supposed to also have the ability to be a contained end to the story  -i don’t think it make sense to tease a new story!! i don’t think it’s needed!! i think it should have just had a plain happy ending with zoya taking the crown and being with nikolai!! i don’t think that’s bad!!!!  -i know the big thing is that, the downfall of grisha is the desire for power, and that’s what got alina (at least she got better. like the one time where ‘character lost powers’ is okay) and especially the darkling, but zoya has come really far in these two books in how she sees other people and working on relying on them as people she loves and i liked her chapters the best and they were what hit me the hardest, and i know it’s going to be a worry for her but i don’t think the idea of her becoming the darkling is something that should be given that weight  -ESPECIALLY IF IT WAS ONLY FOR FOUR PAGES 

-so yeah i think the logical next book would be a place leighb hasn’t explored, like with six of crows.  -there’s a lot to do with the shu and the kerghud that she could do and as much as i love kaz and think another heist would be cool, a heist has already been done and i think it would be a wasted opportunity to do that without doing something new in the grishaverse 

-it honestly really made me want to reread six of crows because i missed the crows a lot  -and i think it says a lot that so many people liked the chapters with kaz and jesper and wylan so much in rule of wolves -that was why i caved and bought rule of wolves right away!!! because i wanted to see the boy!!!!!! but i did also care about nikolai and zoya.  -personally i do think six of crows are the best books in grishaverse. i think they’re the most tightly plotted and have the best characters and are the most CONTAINED and the most compelling (even if i can’t always follow kaz’s implied background machinations) (i can’t always keep track of all the politics either!!) (not that big of a deal for me, though.)  -that duology is close to perfect. i think everything wraps up almost completely neatly (although i will, actually, be wondering now, about how death is handled in a narrative, re: matthias, because when i was reading them i thought, well, someone has to die in crooked kingdom, but, why? but anyway), and i love that the ending of it all is 1) characters continuing to change, and showing they will continue to change 2) inej reuniting with her parents aaaaaaa  (-worth noting though that the epilogue of ruin and rising is indeed one of my favorite things as well, too.)

-i did still enjoy rule of wolves, though!!! a lot of little moments i really really liked, and nikolai and zoya were beautiful and delightful and i love them too, and i do kind of want to reread king of scars and this one again to see if my opinion has changed when i read them closer together but -i also do really just want to reread six of crows, again. 

[skekheck]

30 Days of the Dark Crystal Challenge

Decided to do poultry-blocks Dark Crystal challenge because it looks like a lot of fun to do. However I’m cheating and I wrote all of this within a couple of days. Warning: fairly large post with pictures and fan ramblings. 

EDIT: I FORGOT TO INCLUDE DAY 16 WHOOP. It’s in there now. 

Day 1. Your favorite skeksis

Idiot, feral, wildman who stole my heart. How? Why? Who knows. *chef kisses* Beautiful stinky bastard.

Day 2: Your favorite gelfling

Bless her and her skeksis cosplay. What a queen.

Day 3: A character that you love that everyone seems to hate.

The tides are changing for her it seems. I think people are appreciating her more, but she still faces her fair share of controversies. Not that I don’t think it warrants discussion nor am I excusing her actions. But she’s way more complex than what a lot of people are making her out to be.

Day 4: A character that you hate that everyone seems to love. 

Hate is a strong word as I don’t hate him, but I don’t really care for Amri. He feels like a bootleg Deet mixed with a little bit of Kylan and Gurjin. Wasted potential and honestly shouldn’t have been the POV for Tides of the Dark Crystal. Seems I’m alone in this opinion, though. Maybe the book warrants rereading?

Day 5: Movie or TV Show? Why?

TV Show by miles! I think the series accomplishes way more than the movie does, like establishing lore,  better written characters, and a more engaging story. I actually cared about the gelfling and it really fleshed out the skeksis in an interesting way outside of “oh they do evil things because they’re evil!”. Doesn’t mean it does everything right, but I’ll get into that later.  

Day 6: Something you wish that happened in the series but didn’t.

Just a few things. I miss the gelfling intermingling with the mystics, particularly urVa. I love everything that happens with urGoh and skekGra, but some of the bonding moments Naia had with urVa are precious and I wish we had more of that. I also wished the gelfling got the message out to the other clans like they did in the book where Kylan dreametched their message onto the Santuary Tree’s blossoms and scattered them all throughout Thra. I also wished Tavra and Onica were an established couple, but maybe it’s not too late for that.

Day 7: Favorite gelfling clan

The Sifa! It was the Dousan at first, but the more I learned about the Sifa the more I grew to love the clan. If I were a gelfling I would probably be a sifa myself LOL. 

Day 8: You opinion on Aughra

She’s a fun and fascinating character! Aughra puts a unique spin on the whole beautiful, wise earth goddess trope by making her ugly, old, and cranky. She’s also a character with her own flaws, even having a mini arc about neglecting to take care of her planet and doing whatever she can to make amends. Not to mention she’s wildly entertaining. Much love for Aughra!

Day 9: Skeksis or Gelfling?

Both!

Day 10: Your opinion on podlings?

They’re just funky little potato people who just want to have fun, dance, and drink all day and I respect them for that. They’re great. Also Hup exists and he’s just an amazing character so there’s that.

Day 11: Your The Dark Crystal unpopular opinion

I think it’s okay to sympathize with the skeksis as long as one is not excusing their actions. I see a lot of people say you shouldn’t because they’re evil and they commit atrocities. Which, yes, it’s true, but I think both can co-exist. I mean, skekTek’s whole cycle of abuse is written very sympathetically yet the show doesn’t coddle him. It shows the ugliness of his character and what happens when someone isn’t capable of cutting off from said cycle. Also the writers consider the skeksis as tragic characters due to their broken nature so I don’t think it’s wrong to be a little sympathetic. But once again with great emphasis, sympathy is fine as long as their actions are judged. They are awful bastards and no amount of sympathy will change that. 

Day 12: Something you dislike about the series

I think the stuff I don’t like about the show is a result of its pacing and cluttered cast. There are so many stories going on and while I liked how they handled it for the most part, you can also see how the show rushes to get through all of them. A lot of important moments where a character should reflect or something that should simmer more is pushed aside for the next thing. Maybe if the show was given more episodes and time to breath it would have been better off. 

Day 13: Most disappointing thing about the series

SkekMal and urVa didn’t have enough screen time and we were honestly ROBBED. 

Day 14: Your OTP

Speaking of which... . Its a crack ship, but I’m all about that allegory for self love (and I just want these two to be alive). Day 15: Favorite quote

Listed plenty of my favorite quotes before, but I’ll pick this one:

“ Life is my paint. Death is my canvas”

Day 16: Rate the skeksis from least favorite to favorite OR rate the gelfling from lest favorite to favorite [or both!]

And if you want my gelfling hot takes, here’s this list (just backwards in context to this post)

Day 17: Opinion on Raunip?

Raunip is a fantastic character. I loved him in Creation Myths and I can’t wait to see what role he’d play in the resistance. And I absolutely love the parallels between him and the urskeks it’s great. 

Day 18: A character that is most similar to you.

I too am a dark-dwelling gremlin who constantly forgets where I put things and crack a few dark jokes at my expense. 

Day 19: Which character do you strongly dislike, why?

This is entirely based on the books, but I find Mera to be awful.  I think it’s because she’s so fake and condescending? When Naia arrived in Sami Thicket, she was acting nice and polite but when the Drenchen asked her why the skeksis never visited Sog Mera responded  “It’s only worth counting what’s valuable”. She continuously disrespects her by calling her pet names even when Naia became maudra. It doesn’t come off as cute, it’s gross. I don’t recall Mera ever apologizing for any of the shit she did to Naia... or Kylan for that matter. She was a pretty neglectful step-mother to him. She doesn’t have an excuse being busy with Maudra stuff because Laesid was a kickass mom to her kids. So in conclusion, fuck this bitch.

Day 20: What do you like so much about the Dark Crystal?

The better question what’s not to love about the Dark Crystal? It has amazing creature design, an expansive world that feels real and alien from our own, having complex and interesting characters as well as villains, the fact that it relies heavily on practical effects a.k.a puppetry... . There’s nothing like it and that’s what makes it so wonderful and unique. It needs to be appreciated more. 

Day 21: Favorite music piece from the soundtrack?

Can’t beat that opening theme. 

Day 22: Your opinion on the sequel comics [Power/Beneath the Dark Crystal]

They have cool concepts and ideas, but they’re not written well. Power is just the movie if it was put into a blender and shredded and ignoring a large portion of established lore for the sake of plot. And Beneath is just a generic fantasy story with the Dark Crystal logo slapped on it. 

Day 23: Which character from the YA novels/comics do you wish we would see more of?

There are plenty of characters that are a given to appear in the series at some point (skekSa, skekLi, urSan, etc). And of course I want to see them, but I really hope Periss shows up (and his brother too). He is one of my favorite characters from the book series and we could use some more Dousan rep!

Day 24: Your opinion on the Age of Resistance comic?

I have yet to read the comics. I’m waiting on them to be part of a collection so I don’t have to buy all of the volumes at once (I prefer owning physical copies). I’ve heard good things about them, especially the story with Hup and the current Mayrin arc. I’m excited to get my hands on them. 

Day 25: The best moment/scene in the series?

There are a lot of great moments, but Rian and Ordon’s fight with skekMal is still my favorite in the entire series. The "Speak For the Dead” scene is a close second.

Day 26: The death of a character that hurt you the most?

He did not deserve this. Fuck you, skekMal. 

Day 27: Your favorite episode from the series?

It’s got to be 4. Not just because a number of my favorite characters debut in this episode, but it’s an important one for the plot. Stakes are being raised, we’re seeing set ups to major story elements and character arcs, and events that impact the rest of the series. It also has a handful of my favorite character moments and interactions. 

Day 28: Your favorite non-skeksis and non-gelfling character? Why?

I’ve come to realize the reasons why I love urVa are the same as why I love skekMal (incredibly appropriate I might say). There’s enough information about him that we get a good understanding on who he is as a character, but still mysterious enough that there’s interest in wanting to know more. Much like his skeksis, he’s unique from the other mystics and thus giving him unique experiences that are fun to speculate. However, the YA novels are responsible for my current fondness of him. 

Day 29: Do you like the urru and skeksis apart or like them as urSkeks together?

A main theme of the Dark Crystal is unity and balance. The main conflict of the franchise are the skeksis, the broken fragments of their urskek self who, according to the writers, “...[have] a dire need for the qualities they lack”. Their only salvation is to become urskeks again and unfortunately many of the pairs never achieve this.  They’re basically a giant allegory for the self and self-love. While we don’t really know what they were like when they were an urskek (aside from SilSol perhaps), we can get some understanding when we look at their pairs and see what traits they share. Speculation is also fun! So as much as I love the skeksis and mystics as individuals, I prefer them to be whole again.

Day 30: What are your wishes for a possible season 2?

A whole bunch of things. I want to see them explore more about the mystics and their lifestyle, having Raunip play a big part in the plot, seeing more of skekSa’s fall from grace from her perspective, the beginning of the Garthim Wars, and more. 

[nickblaine]

season 3 script summaries (nick)

first of all - special thanks to reddit user cablab123 and @dystopiandramaqueen​​ for making phonecalls to the writer’s guild that resulted in them getting the season 3 scripts from the studios this soon 💖 we have these because of you!

just to clarify, these notes are about nick scenes only. am i biased? yes. will i go back and read the rest? i don’t know. i didn’t like this season, so i don’t have much energy for it. but i did read the other cut scenes which i will summarize in another post later. this one is about nick.

reminder that anything i put in quotes is direct phrasing from the scripts. however there are copyright laws in place, which is why i can't provide copies or photos. edited to add: because i’ve seen some doubts about my authenticity, click here for proof.

i do accept questions, but i will only respond if i have an answer. i may come back and respond eventually if i find the answer on a future library trip.

possible spoiler warning: there are 2 cut scenes in here which may or may not be considered spoilery if they use them in season 4. the cut scene from 3x12 in particular could be a big indicator of what’s to come next season.

finally - please do not share this post without my permission, and thank you in advance for respecting my wishes.

3x01

nick has fred trapped in the room. after serena says, “we should give her more time to get away,” and leaves, fred turns to nick and accuses him of having so little respect for their family that he would involve them in his crimes. nick straight up tells fred, “I did it for her. For June.” it says fred knew this but hearing it shakes him up. this is the catalyst for their open disdain for each other from now on.  

there was more to nick & june’s argument that we didn’t see, which showed june regretting staying in gilead. after she says “don’t you think i know that?” she breaks down and admits: “I fucked up. I fucked it all up. I should’ve gone. I’m a fucking idiot. But I couldn’t leave her here, I couldn’t leave her behind.” nick feels deep sympathy for her after this confession, and they let go of their anger and share an embrace. i’m real mad this got cut, it showed a lot of june’s vulnerable side.  

after the house fire, nick is leaving and: “June searches for something to say. Goodbye? I’m sorry?” but she can’t because they’re in public. originally he said “Take care” and she settled on “Bless you.” (personally, i think i like the onscreen version better.)

3x03

there was lots of nick “finding this exchange excruciating” during the commander meeting at the lawrence house. he just wanted to help june the whole time joseph is tormenting her. they are “desperate to communicate” throughout this scene. also, joseph was carefully observing nick, june and fred the whole time. they never explain why, but june seems to think he’s just amused by it all.  

when nick came back to visit that night, he and beth share a sweet moment at the back door. nick asks her if she’s okay. beth tells him she’s scared shitless. he comforts her with a hug, during which she jokes, “You look ridiculous in that get-up,” and nick says, “I know.” (i love beth and nick’s friendship... i wish they didn’t throw away the opportunity to show it this season.)  

when nick goes upstairs, his and june’s conversation was written to be a lot less cold than it is in the final cut. june immediately goes to nick for comfort when he comes to her room. “She needs him desperately. She needs his help.” but the news of his deployment shakes her. they are both described as infuriated by their situation, and “drowning in their own futility.” when june opens the door and invites nick back in, they share a kiss and “wrap themselves around each other. For the last time.” 😭 then june closes* and locks the door (to juxtapose her old bedroom with the door that never locked.)   *still disappointed by that closed door? see here!  

3x05

in luke’s tape, june is scripted to say, “You met him. He helped me to survive. I was in love with him." the description of luke’s emotions here say he feels stunned as well as “relief that Nichole isn’t the product of rape... and yet, June found love. She moved on.”  

3x06

when nick and june reunite in DC... nick was spicy during that prayer scene 🔥 june could feel him trying not to look at her. and this line killed me: “His fingers trail, just barely, over June’s hip. Across her bare fingers. On June, feeling his hand.”  

nick and june’s kiss in the snow did not have much description. just lots of natural chemistry on max and lizzie’s part. also, they were supposed to share one more kiss after nick agreed to meet with the swiss. speaking of...  

NICK. MET. WITH. THE. SWISS. people can stop claiming he ditched his daughter now. the script makes it clear. nick walks into the room with mattias and meets lena and sofia before the scene cuts. we don’t get to see what they talk about, but he tried to do the right thing for holly per june’s wishes, against his better judgement.  

no further explanation for why the swiss don’t want to work with nick. when lena tells june she can’t work with nick, all it says is that june’s “association with Nick has left her somehow tainted.”  

june feels “betrayed” by learning that nick was a soldier in the crusade, and continues to throughout the season. though the script never explains why she feels so betrayed by something that she has done herself (killing innocent people under orders) or why she is so quick to believe serena joy when she is familiar with her manipulation. her thoughts in that scene are described as she is “absorbing the fact that Nick was a terrorist.” take that as you will. however, the following scenes clarify exactly what he did...

THE TRAIN SCENE: there’s a very important line describing how nick really feels about being a commander: “The troops salute him. Nick returns the salute, hating all the choices that led him here.”  

immediately following that line is a cut NICK FLASHBACK! here’s the summary: nick was in DC during the coup. he was on guard duty. yep, big bad terrorist war criminal nick blaine was a glorified security guard. in this scene, nick and a young soldier named trevor are guarding an empty basement stairwell in the capitol building during the coup. trevor is complaining that they are “mall cops” while “everyone gets to actually do something,” meanwhile nick is described as “looking sick.” then there is an explosion in the stairwell, followed by a brief shootout where trevor is killed. nick shoots back “out of instinct” and it’s revealed he’s killed a capitol security guard and a bureaucrat.

immediately after the flashback is the cut shot of nick (above) looking sadly out the window, remembering those choices that led him here.  

it’s worth noting that the flashback scene contrasts starkly with serena’s words just prior, which were scripted as: “He served Gilead. He believed in something greater than himself. He was a soldier in the crusade. We wouldn’t be here without him.” so it seems pretty clear they are setting this up to be misjudgment on june’s part.  

the shot of nick looking sadly out the window was supposed to be followed by a parallel shot of june looking sadly out the window of the winslow house, reflecting on her meeting with nick the night before. 😢  

3x10

just wanted to note here that despite june feeling “betrayed” by nick since 3x06, when fred suggests transferring her to DC she actually considers it could be a good idea because she would be “closer to Nichole. And maybe even Nick.” so he is not absent from her thoughts.  

3x12

warning: the following scene may be spoilery for season 4??

thank god, we were right about a cut scene in this episode. there was exactly one (1) nick in chicago scene, and it took place immediately after luke punches fred. and just like max said, it confirms nick has been one step ahead all along.

in this scene, nick is observing the war in chicago and talking with his “lead commander” (pictured in the promo still above.) the lead commander tells him that they are being transferred to lake huron to put pressure on toronto in lieu of waterford’s capture and winslow going missing.

nick - hiding his shock at this news - carefully presses for more info. the lead commander doesn’t have anymore to say about waterford, but he laments the fact that this means he’s not going to get his weekend leave and that his daughter will be disappointed. his daughter’s name? agnes. that’s right, the big reveal of this scene is that nick is now working directly under commander mackenzie, and it is no coincidence. the scene ends on nick, “watching [mackenzie] walk away, wheels already turning.”

guys... this means NICK IS GOING AFTER HANNAH!

this must be what max was referring to when he said that everyone is in an interesting position for season 4 in this interview. so much for him being irrelevant to june’s story just because he’s a dude, i guess. 🤷‍♀️

there was also a whole bombing action sequence in this scene including fighter jets, it sounded very extra and VFX-intensive. nick and commander mackenzie are watching it all go down from a distance while they talk.

i can’t say for sure why these scenes were cut, but the producers served up 3 different sets of excuses, some of which don’t line up with what was written (e.g. “strictly june’s perspective” ...sure 🙄) so it’s safe to say that whatever led to them cutting these scenes out, we will probably never know for sure. but i do know they were filmed and the decision was made post-production, we have evidence of that.  

additional observations:

there is still no real explanation for why or how nick got promoted to commander, and i don’t think they ever will. it appears to me that it was just another contrived plot point so they have a reason to send a low-status driver into war.  

while i am glad they softened the extent of nick’s involvement in the coup, it also makes it harder to understand why he said he was “due” a promotion to commander when his contributions to gilead are so relatively insignificant. again, we may never know.  

there were several cut voiceovers of june praying to god throughout the season, and despite calling holly mainly by “nichole” in dialogue, she only referred to her as holly in her prayers. so her real name is still holly. i will die on this hill.  

commander mackenzie mentions to nick that the move has been hard on hannah but the script does not clarify where they have moved to. hannah and mrs. mackenzie are presumably far from the great lakes region because nick’s response is, “May God bring you home to her soon.”  

can we talk about how nick has an active plan for hannah? and how he never gave up on his promise from 2x03? and that while june has lost all hope of seeing her daughter again, she has no idea how close nick is? and that this is sounding a lot like one of my fics? hire me already bruce. these are things i think about A Lot  

lake huron means nick is going back home to MICHIGAN so rebel commander blaine is back on the menu boys  

nick in the script is - as always - a bit more rough and forward than what we see onscreen. max has a talent for softening nick’s interactions with june and showing respect with his body language, while maintaining the intensity between them. i also cannot praise enough how much he makes out of little to no script direction and minimal dialogue.  

that sweet, sweet vindication of confirming yet again that nick is worth a lot more than viewers (and june) give him credit for. i only hope his value in this story isn’t realized too late.  

(gif credit: @splitscreen​, @outlassed​ & me)

[archivsm]

The Magnus Archives and Horror: An Analogy of Why the Horror Within Doesn’t Always Work

The Magnus Archives has been widely regarded as a good example of how horror podcasts can work very well and have an ability to incite horror with just sound alone. It is personally one of my own favorite podcasts, especially regarding how it incorporates LGBT characters without the need to kill them off or show them in a villainous light and its amazing story telling. Horror podcasts as a whole are such an interesting genre within podcasts because of how it forces its’ writers to only use sound alone to set the world for their listeners. This comes to say that the genre of horror is such a complex and somewhat tricky genre to make work no matter what media you work with and I believe that the Magnus Archives is a very strong piece of ongoing media that is able to depict horror well. To a degree.

What does this mean?

I feel that with the Magnus Archives, it can get largely exaggerated as to the horrors within the podcast and that the Magnus Archives does not keep a consistent tone of being scary; there comes a point in which the episodes have a sort of predictability to it that dilutes what is being presented but it is definitely not to say that there are no episodes that scared me. I’ve kept a small note of what episodes I found scary and it’s when I noticed that most of these episodes were still prior to its heavier ongoings within plot development (Which is to be said that this point is mainly season three for me.) that there became a clear trend. Older episodes simply faired better in terms of horror than those more recent. I know that in the Magnus Archives’ defense that all of this was structured long before it had started but again, this is meant to touch on why I’d felt like these episodes worked so well especially while lacking in plot. And that fact is that these episodes were still largely unexplained.

Before you go further into why that shroud of the unknown in the beginning worked so well you have to acknowledge how horror is typically built upon. The two main components of horror are typically depicted as:

Personal: Under this, your goal is meant for the audience to feel fear for themselves as to what your antagonist presents and for the antagonist being able to enable a presence even after your story has ended.

Sympathy/Empathy: Under this, your goal is to get your audience to relate and/or care for your cast of characters so that when your antagonist becomes known or is a current threat to your cast, your fear as the audience who are only able to be on the sidelines is stimulated out of not knowing who is going to die or being able to prevent it. 

These two components build off each other and are what help to make a stronger horror story. However, there are various examples that simply try to present horror with only one component or are attempting to utilize both but fail by poor writing and execution. By looking how first-person horror games can stimulate fear but lack in the use of a wider cast, making for the fear reliant heavily on how the writer presents it and the player itself and the contrary being horror movies working to try and get you to care about a cast of characters but only sprouted from being able to relate and wanting to see them thrive and not out of fear of your antagonist, move to prove the previous statement. This isn’t to say that there aren’t pieces of media that aren’t able to stand strong with only one component, but it’s to say that most of them typically don’t. The episodes of the Magnus Archives I felt were scarier were mainly because they fell under Personal and not Sympathy/Empathy. I did not have much of a reason to care about them in the beginning, yet even when I became heavily invested in characters and listened to characters meet their demise I did not feel scared for them and I still don’t now. This stems from the fact that I never felt like they died. I never felt like Gertrude died, I never felt like Tim died, and I never even felt like Daisy died, no matter how much they worked to try and convince me so. So the moment in which Jon ventures into the Buried and is able to retrieve Daisy, I was largely unfazed by the overall event having already fully expected for her return. Why the Magnus Archives doesn’t fully work under the Sympathy/Empathy component is because when we were met with further expansion on our cast characters, we are also given expansion upon the universe in which they live in. With this, there came a beginning to why things would occur. You could break down as to why Tim’s death never really why felt like his death nor why Daisy didn’t feel like her death, but I believe the strongest topic to expand upon is why I could never really believe Gertrude is dead.

Quite far from the typical stages of grief, my acceptance of her death had come from when it was first spoken in episode one only to lead to disbelief as we began to learn more about her. This disbelief stemmed from the fact that since we have mostly listened to Jon’s perspective in the first seasons, we can only come to understand the universe from his eyes. How Jon would describe Gertrude as disorganized, uncaring, or someone who just never seemed fit for her position as an archivist- I’d easily believe it in the beginning. There wasn’t room for me to question it in the beginning nor did I have reason to as the story progressed. As Jon begins to delve into the truth of the institute and of Gertrude, we along with him, his doubts became one with my own. I only know as much as Jon speaks and illustrates with his words, leaving whatever blanks that he doesn’t fill as blanks I am also left with. Yet I’d heard when Martin discovered her dead body under the archives and I’d heard when Elias had shot her down; I still didn’t believe it then. My disbelief is stemmed from Jon’s own misconceptions and lacking understanding in the full character of Gertrude. His doubt of Jane Prentis’ death had left me with the lingering feeling that she never died and I kept expecting her to make her return at any given moment. I’d only got over this when I learned that avatars could die. As for Gertrude, her character has been shown to be someone who’s rather wise and understanding to plan further than spontaneously. A death so simple as gunshots seemed something seemingly so tame compared to the rest of the entities and fears she’d come in contact with. Maybe I just thought she was just too much of a badass to die by just a singular bullet. Regardless, this point convenes to the fact that her death cannot fall under the Sympathy/Empathy category. She died by relatively human means and due to the fact that we were only given a recording of her death deep within the story when we’ve learned a heavy amount of her character, I could not care for her when her death was primarily relevant within the beginning seasons when we knew her by the mess Jon described her as. In fact, the fact that none of these characters could really fall under the Sympathy/Empathy category is because they didn’t die by the horrors in the story, they died through devices created by humans. Gertrude died by her gunshot wounds, Tim died by the C4 detonations and Daisy was presumed to have suffered the same fate as Tim. Even if these deaths were influenced by the fears and their entities, they died a way humans have died before. This presents an issue because without someone that we learned about and watch develop to have died to an entity you don’t completely feel the threat the entity is supposed to signify to the cast. These are threats that have solutions today and the fact that there are ways to avoid them is what softens the severity of the threat meant to be presented. The stakes feel relatively low knowing this and help to dilute how the audience perceives an entity. A counter-argument could be that Sasha was one of the only ones to actually have been taken by a fear, namely the Distortion. However, Sasha cannot fall within the Sympathy/Empathy category due to two reasons: The first is that we did not know much about her character when we lost her. We were given a not-Sasha for a much longer time than when we had the original Sasha. Not-Sasha is not in equal personality to the original Sasha so the listener’s appeal to Not-Sasha would not be the same for the original Sasha. Even with that said, if the listener were to feel guilty in not realizing that our original knowings of Sasha were long gone this is the post the fact that she was taken long ago. The second reason is that we were never given a confirmation for her death. Sasha, Micheal, and Helen were all victims to the distortion but it is never described what really occurred to them and we are to presume them as dead. The fact of the matter is, Sasha could very well be around still but in a way that we aren’t presented with. None of these deaths can fall under the Sympathy/Empathy category leaving for the Magnus Archives to be heavily reliant on the category to Personal experience. And does it work?

Well. It depends on what you choose to focus on. But for the purpose of this analogy, the Magnus Archives can provide amazing executions of horror, but mainly in the beginning. Truth be told, podcasts may be the perfect type of media if you really want to get personal with your listeners. Stories within podcasts do not have to be dependent on a wide cast of characters, but they do help to strengthen the story you give. An example of a story that gets personal with the viewers is episode ninety-four, All Right, from Welcome to Night Vale. Despite Welcome to Night Vale not being a horror-centric podcast, the idea that a listener can feel a connection to the story without a mention of every personal detail relating to you shows that podcasts have the potential to give you a personal experience. In this episode, Cecil Palmer, the radio host of Night Vale, speaks directly to the listener and helps to encapsulate them by having the audio for the episode alternate between earbuds. It is necessary for the listener to possess earbuds and to match the actions in which he dictates in order to feel the full immersion of what is going, but the overall experience is able to solidify the connection between narrator and listener very strongly. This then raises the question of whether the Magnus Archives is able to form this same connection between narrator and listener. And the answer is yes, but in a way that is far different than how Welcome to Night Vale had done.

The Magnus Archives’ connection with the listener varies in that when listening to statements, you are meant to feel as though you are currently witnessing the statements that Jon reads. Even if horror doesn’t always have its’ presence in statements, the Magnus Archives does a very well job of being able to encapsulate the listener into feeling as though they are able to experience these statements along with their statement giver. This is done through heavy descriptions that are still able to leave room for the listener to insert themselves into and audio design that is able to capture the environment in which it takes place. In describing sound effects, they are not entirely present to the listener when invested in what is being told but they are subtly put in in a way that helps to give the feel that the listener is within the environment. This is an incredibly strong point because immersion is an important aspect of getting a story to feel personal. For a story to feel personal, it is not necessary for you to be present within the story but be able to be given enough information to understand the main character’s perspective (Or rather the perspective of the statement giver, in this case.) and motivations as though it were your own. Now, when it comes to being able to tell a horror story meant to immerse the listener and scare them, things begin to get tricky. Horror is subjective to a person. That is a fact. Our fears are driven by our past experience and own mindsets and are most likely not the same as another’s. The episodes I found scary were namely the episodes centered around the Flesh but they were the ones I ended up taking the most interest in and soon becoming my favorites. In truth, there were other episodes that had scared me coinciding with other fears but as I got deeper into the series none of these episodes could really scare me anymore and would at most give me slight discomfort. Why? It was the idea of the unknown. I was scared of the meat episodes because I didn’t know what influence was going on behind them. I didn’t know anything about the fears nor of what qualities they possessed. I liked them a lot more before I knew any of these things. The issue is that once I began to understand what the influence was behind these statements- I wasn’t scared. It was because I was able to categorize and identify the fear that was present. This is an issue. For most horror stories to work, it is best to let influences be left unknown. Exposition in things such as horror movies, that infodump the entire background for an antagonist and list how they were able to survive and give the opportunity for the main cast to prevent this evil- it doesn’t work for me. This applies to the Magnus Archives in the sense that Elias did explain a huge portion of what was going on in the middle of the Magnus Archives and that Gertrude’s notes gave her studies of the fears and of their rituals. If I am able to know about the entity behind the evils present in the story, there is nothing to stop me from learning that there is some way to stop them. By giving the influences behind a statement an unidentifiable factor or a lack of a resolution in Jon’s follow up (i.e. their disappearance), then I feel as though I am given a reason to be scared because it goes to show I don’t have the full understanding of what this evil is capable of and that there is no room for me to let my guard down. It is not to be said that this evil should go entirely unknown that makes the statements and their antagonists unidentifiable as actual evils and not just pure fear of the statement giver’s own mind and that the Magnus Archives’s original structure of the listener being presented with statements with little information behind it is what makes a structure for a strong and encaptivating horror story.

So with the end of the Magnus Archives beginning to near, there is one final question left: Can the Magnus Archives work to still scare listeners? Yes, but it cannot be done under the Personal category of horror. It must be done in the Sympathy/Empathy category. I believe if you would want to reincorporate horror within the final pegs of the Magnus Archives, you would have to work to deteriorate a character's mind from the external events that affect them. By doing this you are able to emphasize the horrors external and that their effect is much more damaging and lasting than their attacks alone. Though Jon falls as one of the best contenders of someone who has fell victim to the paranoia of his own mind, he cannot be the prime person whose downfall is themself, seeing as his character is being led in a way to detract from this. However, the only other alternative is to kill a member from the cast of characters that we have been following. They must die by a fear in order to give emphasis on the threat that the fears actually are to our cast and we must be given the sense that any of the other characters we’ve come to love have the potential to suffer the same fate. I cannot fully recommend this route though. With the main cast consisting of LGBT/LGBT-coded characters, it would hurt to see the Magnus Archives fall under the same trope of badly mistreating characters for the purpose of furthering a story. Overall, this is not meant to present any distaste to the Magnus Archives. I enjoy the podcast heavily but I understand that I am here more for the plot of it rather than it being a horror anthology like I’d once originally started out with. I understand I cannot change what has happened or what will happen next, but I believe by breaking down the components in which the Magnus Archives falls weak or strong as a horror podcast can help in understanding and studying the genre of horror as a whole. 

[head-and-heart]

The 100 Highlights - “Acceptable Losses” (5x07)

Hey guys! 

I’m back to do my highlight recap of episode 5x07, “Acceptable Losses”, written by Jeff Vlaming. I am really happy to say that I enjoyed this episode a significant amount more than I did the previous one, and I’m really excited to dig into it with this post. 

If you would like to view my other highlight posts you can do so here. 

“She was shot, Marcus. Octavia Blake killed her - not me.” 

^ Okay so I want to start of this post by talking about this line from Abby because I honestly think its really important. The fact that Kane was sort of implying that Abby was responsible for that girls death was really rubbing me the wrong way because, like, yes: maybe, if Abby was well, she would have been able to save the girl. But you can’t get a drug addict to fix themselves just by asking them to. And you can’t expect them to be able to fix other people too. As much as Abby may want to stop, that’s not how it works. I don’t think anyone should be blaming Abby for the death of that girl. It shouldn’t have even been Abby’s responsibility to treat her, to be honest. Jackson is a doctor, too. And he’s in a way better condition to handle that kind of situation at the moment. Obviously they wanted Abby because they can use drugs to get her to do what they want, but it doesn’t seem right for Kane to put that guilt on Abby’s shoulders. 

It just reminded me so much of Abby saying to Raven in 4x03 that the radiation wasn’t killing that child - she was. It’s not true. Raven didn’t kill that girl, and Abby didn’t kill this one. It was Octavia. 

Also I know everyone’s having fun hating on Kabby this season but I must have missed the memo cause I don’t really know why y’all hate it so much

Anywayyyyy

Harper SPOKE

“Funny, that’s the same thing we said about getting back down to the ground. And then we found you.”

LISTEN. I don’t know why y’all were hating on Bellamy for “shooting Octavia down” in this scene. The way she was talking to him in this scene absolutely SCREAMED manipulation to me. I was so happy when he said this to her - like, we’ve been waiting for seasons for him to stand up to Octavia, and finally he is. It’s a lot better than him just sitting there in silence, taking whatever she was probably about to throw at him once she had his sympathy and compliance. 

Also, WHAT A DRAG. This writer has all the one-liners, damn. There was so much sass in this episode - I really enjoyed that aspect of it.

Okay, I REALLY love that they brought back Jasper’s suicide letter again in this episode. It was just SO important. So easily they forget about characters who have died on this show and what they meant to the people who are still alive, and I’m happy that that doesn’t seem to be the case with Jasper and Monty. Jasper’s presence in this episode felt like the callback this season needed - it helped me feel a lot more connected to the show, and to the characters. It was a well-needed reminder of the heart of this show and what it’s about.

Also, it is absolutely necessary to give ALL the kudos to Tree Adams for the work he has done this season (and especially in this episode). It’s crazy how much that man has managed to emote with his music. His presence on the crew of this show has served to elevate it in every single way. When I heard “The Awakening” being played over the scenes revolving Jasper ... it was A Lot fam. I think it is the most tragic and beautiful song that they have done on The 100 and it is also very deeply linked to Jasper as a character and everything that he went through. I love that, even though that song is from Season 3, they have continued to bring it back for both Season 4 and 5. It shows that they remember where they came from, and the journey that has brought us to this moment. 

It Just Means A Lot.

Actually, everything to do with Monty and Clarke in this episode was INCREDIBLE. Man, I really felt their dynamic. They connected so well and it just made me really emotional. They used to be such a team ... Before. It’s nice to see that they can click back into that place so quickly again. Them teaming up ... it almost felt like old times. 

“Monty, you can’t pick a lock with pruning sheers.” “Ye hath little faith.” 

Thanks to this post here I am now aware that this is exactly what Monty said to Jasper in 2x07 when they were trying to unlock another door and Now I’m Sad (and yet also really happy that they put so much care and detail into this episode?).

Monty was just amazing this episode - like damn he’s so smart. He’s such an undercover badass. We don’t appreciate him enough. 

I have to hand it to the writers with this one cause I really did NOT see that worm thing coming lmao. I was SO sure that we were about to get a cannibalism reveal and I’m pretty sure the writers are well-aware of that. They were having fun with us. 

But on another note, I’m actually really happy that they brought the worms into the story. Otherwise, 5x05 would have pretty much just been a filler episode with no real significance. But, in doing this, they’ve made it so that episode is even more relevant than we thought. AND WOW WHAT A FUCKING TERRIFYING WAY TO DO SO.

BELLAMY AND MONTY AND CLARKE HAVING A CHAT JUST LIKE OLD TIMES WOW I’M EMO

We can’t forget they were the OG murder trio of 2x16 i love three pals bonded through the blood of their enemies

“Be diplomatic.” “Get out.” “Real diplomatic.” I LOVE TWO (2) COMEDIANS WOW BELLARKE REALLY HAS ME SHOVED STRAIGHT UP THEIR ASS HUH

“Clarke, he was there when Pike shot her and killed 300 of her people.” I know everyone is really mad about this line but on rewatch I noticed that they changed this line from the script so that it puts the blame for the massacre on Pike’s shoulders rather than Bellamy’s and while I do think it was a bit of an awkward placement, I appreciate that they changed the line so it didn’t feel like such a punch in the face. 

Also, Clarke’s pause and then “I’ll go with him”? Peak comedy. I love a woman.

“When I was a kid, after the battle of San Francisco, I watched the evacuation on TV. Thousands of refugees being packed into aircraft carriers. I remember seeing soldiers pushing helicopters overboard just to make more room, and Diyoza was there. She was the one giving the orders. The machines were expendable, but the people weren’t. But up in space, when we reported that the miners were getting sick, Eligius saw it differently. Order Eleven came down: ‘Bring home the Hythylodium, leave the prisoners.’ Like they were garbage. Captain Stevens agreed and I didn’t.”

There’s something so compelling about the way Jordan Bolger delivers his lines. It reminds me of him talking to Clarke in 5x03 - I could listen to him talk about his backstory for hours. When he speaks he just has a way of captivating the audience. And also CHARMAINE DIYOZA WAS A MFING WAR HERO AND I WON’T HEAR ANYTHING ELSE. Damn, she continues to be the absolute best. 

“So you see, Diyoza’s not as bad as you think and I’m not as good as you hoped.” WHAT A FUCKING LINE.

I am living for Zeke’s character and his relationship with Raven is so intriguing. Jordan and Lindsey have such great chemistry.

“An honest spy is either incompetent or working an angle. Which are you?” CHARMAINE TRULY CAME FOR HER LIFE GOD SHE’S SO SAVAGE I LOVE A WOMAN

“Karina died because her doctor was too high to operate.” “Really? And here I thought it was the bullet.” THANK. YOU. 

The way Charmaine calls Kane out in this scene really just made me want to like, pump a fist or something, lmao. When he’s like “maybe it would be a good way to get rid of some of these ...” and she says, “What, Kane? Undesirables?” I. FELT. THAT. 

“Kind of like sending 100 juvenile delinquents to die on the ground. Or abandoning 300 prisoners on an asteroid?” You know, I really didn’t expect Charmaine - of all people - to bring back this old argument from Season 1 but I WAS SO HAPPY THAT SHE DID. Say what you will about Diyoza but she’s nothing if not loyal. She’s not here to abandon her troops and she’s not willing to discard any of them - just like she wasn’t willing to abandon any of those refugees. The fact that she’s so open to allowing defectors into the camp at all, that she is feeding them, giving them shelter, actually sitting down to have chats with them is just so ... uncharacteristic of a “villain”? And I love it. 

“Trust her? She’s a drug addict. ... Too soon?”

Literally me, every time Diyoza opens her mouth:

Got to take a short second to say again how interested I am to see how this whole Gaia/Madi plotline is going to play out, now that we know that she is actually here to keep her safe. It’s such an interesting dynamic, with her being so close to Octavia.

I know a lot of people are annoyed that the flame is still part of the show but honestly, I think it makes a lot of sense (considering Madi’s position as a nightblood) and plays a lot more interesting of a role now that the time of the Commander’s is supposedly over and their faith has been destroyed ... almost. In any case, I’m pretty sure that the flame will be gone for good by the end of this season because I think that whatever happens with Madi and Octavia’s reign and Wonkru is going to lead to its destruction, but in the meantime I really don’t mind it being part of the story.

I have to talk about the scene where Gaia shows her the flame because I LOVE how it was filmed. The music was so eery and fit the mood perfectly, and the fucking whispers??? We’ve never actually seen how a real, living nightblood reacts to the flame and I think it’s actually super cool that Madi can feel a bond to it - it was literally beckoning to her. It was giving me major Lord of the Rings vibes. 

And wow, Lola really killed that scene. You can clearly see the way her emotions are creating inner turmoil for her. She’s been hiding from the flame since birth and yet she also cannot deny the draw that she feels towards it (again, like Frodo with the ring). Lola has such a potential as a little actress - I’m really excited to see where she goes.

Side note but ... who’s going to tell these writers no one actually refers to their sibling as “big brother” just casually? 

“There are times in war where you have to do the wrong things for the right reasons.” And I’m sure this is exactly how Echo justified every single thing she did pre-Praimfaya too. I have to admit that I actually liked what they did with Echo this episode just because it shows that she still has areas that require growth. Her priorities and loyalties changed up on the Ark but she has yet to be truly tested. This is her test, to see how much those six years really changed her. If this episode is an indication, her instinct is still to fall back into old habits during times of war. I’m optimistic that what this means is we are going to get to see Echo have real development, on-screen, this season.

Monty reading Jasper’s letter ... I Am Not Okay. 

Again, loved all the callbacks to Jasper in this episode. It’s really interesting that his character arc has carried over from Season 3/4 and seems to have reinvented itself in Monty now. I’m hopeful that Monty isn’t going to go down the self-destructive path that Jasper went down, but that he might actually use Jasper’s memory to pave the path towards real change. We rarely get characters who want to end the fighting rather than continue it - I’m interested to see where Monty’s character arc goes as the season progresses.

“Jasper was smarter than all of us [...] If the war is the only way to have the last survivable land on Earth, then maybe we don’t deserve it.” He’s not wrong ...

Octavia throwing a skull at her mirror in rage ... I just have to laugh

“If we lose, [you helping Kane escape] will be why. How does that make you feel?” “Awful, and I’d do it again.”

LISTEN INDRA THIS SEASON IS EVERYTHING. She’s one of the few characters who is not afraid to call out Octavia on the way that she is leading. She can see so clearly through Blodreina’s bullshit and yet she loves Octavia despite it. That’s Strength.

“I miss him, too.” Lemme just go roll into my corner and CRY MY FUCKING EYES OUT because Bellamy and Jasper was one of my all time favourite dynamics and I miss it so much

“Make algae, not war. That’s cute.” IT IS FUCKING CUTE BELLAMY ALL RIGHT

“If the early batches don’t kill them like they nearly did us.” “That’s before I got the recipe right, and you know it.” I STAN

Seriously, though ... Monty is just SO (so) underrated. 

BELLAMY BLAKE HAS A FUCKING DIMPLE ON HIS RIGHT CHEEK AND I WAS NOT EVEN FUCKING AWARE OF THIS FACT BECAUSE IN ALL THE FOUR AND HALF SEASONS THAT CAME BEFORE THIS THE CAMERA HAS NEVER FOCUSED ON HIS SMILE LIKE THAT BEFORE SO YEAH I AM SALTY BECAUSE WE HAVE BEEN ROBBED OF THIS CUTENESS GOOD NIGHT

“75% of your people are dying.” “Well, that’s good . . . For Octavia.” The casual way she delivers this line askqiakdksansks i stan a comedian

LISTEN. The reveal of Diyoza being pregnant LITERALLY made me gasp. Out loud. I literally jumped off of my couch and cheered. I am SO excited about this reveal. I didn’t think they were going to actually use the fact that that Ivana was pregnant during filming in the show because they had her taking tequila shots in 5x05 (*sigh*) but I’m really happy that they decided to. It just adds a whole extra layer to Charmaine. She’s not just a leader - she’s a mother. And I do wonder at how that might affect Abby’s and Charmaine’s dynamic, because that’s one thing they both have in common. 

Another reason I really liked that reveal was because I think Charmaine being pregnant gives her a higher chance of surviving this season. She still may die, but it’s a lot darker to kill off a character when they are carrying a baby inside of them than when they are not, and I know the CW has regulations on that kind of thing. 

That being said, Karina was heavily implied to have been pregnant and she still died ... Although they did cut out the lines that explicitly stated she was pregnant from the script so maybe her death was why?

Anyway, I’m really excited about this plotline.

Raven looking at a beaten up Shaw with tears in her eyes ... this is the angst I live for. Man, I could get invested in this relationship. Not to mention, Zeke becoming one of the prisoners is SUPER intriguing. His role within Eligius is what kept him conflicted before, but if Eligius has rejected him too now, who will he become? What will he do to help Raven and the others? Right now, I’m sure he wants nothing to do with her but I know that won’t last forever and I’m really excited to see what they do with his character.

I know that Madi beating Ethan in that fight was a TERRIBLE idea but I’m really excited about it. Madi has surprised me as a character (in a good way) because she has so much of her own agency outside of Clarke. I think the story of her struggling with her hero-worship and glorification of Octavia versus her love and loyalty to Clarke is super interesting. She may be fucking everything up but she’s doing it on her own terms, and that’s exciting, because Madi easily could have been written in as a plot device to cause conflict between Clarke and her friends as well as within the Grounder system. Instead, the writers have given her flaws and strengths in her own right. She is way more fleshed out as a character than I was expecting going into Season 5 and I think this story with her and Octavia will be really interesting. 

Also, I 100% predicted that Madi would be Octavia’s second in my spec masterpost months ago. In fact, a lot of my spec about Madi and Octavia has been taking shape pretty nicely so I’m really interested to see if the rest of my spec regarding that relationship follows through too ...

Clarke taking the radio and calling Diyoza just like she called Emerson in 2x16 ... damn. DAMN. Nice to see the return of “you may be the Chancellor, but I’m in charge”. She’s So Powerful.

BELLAMY AND CLARKE STARING DIRECTLY INTO EACH OTHER’S EYES DURING THE ENTIRE RADIO SCENE UNTIL BELLAMY COULDN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE AND TURNED AWAY AM I SENSING SOME TENSION HERE

But seriously, he knew exactly what she was going to see even before she said “That’s why we’re going to take her out.” Even after six years Bellamy can read her so well

I’ve been waiting all season for the turbulence I was promised and OH BOY AM I READY FOR THE ANGST

HAKELDAMA 2.0 HERE I COME

BOOM. Out.

That was a KILLER episode. It took me forever to get through this recap because there were so many aspects of the episode that I really, really enjoyed. It hit all the right emotional beats, the music was on point, and the plot was super intriguing. It really feels like the story is picking up and I am SO excited to watch 5x08.

It’s going to be harder for me to keep on top of these recaps for the rest of the season as I’m going to be very busy (and I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to watch most of the episodes live) but I’ll do my best to get them all done. I can’t promise that they will all be completed in a timely fashion (before the next episode airs), as I have been doing them thus far, but I’ll try to get them done when I can!

Thanks for reading!

[kinetic-elaboration]

February 5: Thoughts on The 100 2x03 Reapercussions

I am very tired and I should sleep but instead I’m going to bring my The 100 rewatch project out of hiatus yet again with Episode 2x03: Reapercussions.

I miss Anya so much!!!!! This is mostly my Dichen Lachman obsession showing but also the way she gives Clarke that ‘yeah, whatever’ look when Clarke says she’ll get her out of the cage... your Grounder fave could never.

The show honestly peaked with S2 and after this it should have abandoned all attempts at edginess because nothing will ever be more Pure Nightmare Fuel than the Mount Weather Grounder Cages.

Clarke/Anya: the ship that almost was.

So when Clarke takes Anya out of the prison room, she opens a door that says “End Containment Area” and underneath that it says “U.S. Department of Homeland Security, Mount Weather Containment Protocol.” And people really thought JRoth made this up omg learn some history.

Considering how they left things (Anya literally trying to kill her and all her friends) it’s actually pretty impressively selfless and magnanimous on Clarke’s part to not just rescue her, but immediately and unthinkably rescue her. On the other hand, Anya feels some remorse for leaving her people whereas Clarke’s like ‘here are some clothes [even though those random bandages are holding up pretty well??], let’s get a move on!’ (I know she intended to come back for them and she was being smart and practical but from the pov of, say, Jasper or Monty, this is cold as hell of her.)

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: early S2 Clarke is Peak Clarke: smart, sly, practical, brave.

Byrne mentions Earth Skills teacher “Davis” as being part of the search team for Bell et. al. My question: how many Earth Skills teachers did they have lol?

I fucking love this crashed-ship aesthetic omg I forget how much I love it and then I see it again....

“On the Ark, you did anything you wanted, without a second thought about the consequences.” Like mother, like daughter.

I ALSO miss Jasper and Maya. I’m probably like the lone person out there who still remembers them fondly but they were basically perfect because they were sweet but with the potential for a lot of darkness as well, my favorite combination.

WHERE’S MY ART SCHOOL JAYA AU?

So actually fun fact, that isn’t how the art work would have been stored in Mount Weather. They had special containers for the paintings to protect them and like a special cart thing to transport them quickly from their old homes to the bunker I read a book.

No one ever characterizes him this way sufficiently imo but Monty is really quite uptight in a way. Like first: don’t cockblock him man. And second: just chilll. This is probably why he used to smoke weed.

“Trouble? It’s Clarke. Whatever she’s up to, I’m sure she can handle it.” I mean.... he’s not wrong.

Except for the part where she’s covered in dead bodies. But even then...

So I always felt like the main point of the Reapers was as kind of a zombie police force for Mount Weather: to keep the Grounders scared of the Mountain, so they won’t poke around in it too much. Though of course they also collect Grounders, which is helpful, since the Mountain Men can’t walk that far from their home base (and, as stated, they probably want to keep most of that area Grounder-free anyway). But it occurs to me now that a third use of the Reapers is like dead-body collectors? The Mountain dumps the dead bodies out the trap door, and the Reapers take them away and eat them. So gross and efficient all at once. Mount Weather’s motto basically.

Murphy and his creating-a-distraction stones are still one of the funniest jokes this show has ever pulled, though if it were a quicker reveal after “something like that” it would be funnier.

Never mind, Bellamy appearing out of the bush is true underrated comedy gold,

That said, I feel like everything outside of the Mount Weather and Clarke stories here is filler.

Love! That! Ship!

Major Byrne says that Kane is on the verge of losing control of the camp but... I dunno.... everyone seems to be working together pretty well? Maybe if they had diversified the cast a little, not in terms of yet more Grounders but, like, non-leaders of the Ark, that would be more clear????

Okay, well, admittedly, when the Grounder prisoner is brought in they do start a mini-mob, lol. Also one of the delinquent’s fathers is shot, it would be cool if we knew who he was?? ETA: and then he dies and Abby’s like “does he have any family?” lol he just said that his son was one of the 100 so like obviously he does??

The costuming people, like the set people, really are the geniuses of this show. I love Clarke and Anya’s outfits, and Clarke’s hair somehow being both grungy and beautiful like THAT’s the apocalypse style I wanna see.

Also they absolutely 100% would have gotten together in the S2-S3 hiatus if Anya hadn’t been killed off.

“You saved my life because you needed me” IS true but she also did it absolutely without hesitation, even knowing Anya really quite truly hates her, so this speaks either to some foolhardy bravery mixed in with her practical thoughts, or just straight compassion, or both. I guess that sort of is a Clarke thing. She can be a grudge holder (seriously don’t tell me she isn’t: Wells????) but her grudges are NEVER more important than hard-nosed practical problem-solving.

Time for some gratuitous torture. Honestly, I like Season 2, it’s probably my favorite season, but it has some MAJOR filler problems. Like when it’s good it’s THE BEST but then other times it just doesn’t know how to fill 40 minutes so it resorts to pointless diversions (like Bellamy rappelling down the side of a mountain to save a character who is literally never seen again? for some reason?) or just straight out ugly violence for screaming’s sake (Raven’s surgery, Raven’s Grounder torture, Abby’s shocklashing, etc.) Like honestly I can’t even watch this. I’m just gonna browse tumblr until it’s done.

The Arkers really like the concept of “confessing” don’t they?

Like okay I’m not done WHAT IS THE POINT of this? It all but kills the whole Kabby vibe (I still lowkey ship them but sometimes I think...why?), it’s truly painful to watch, and it has no plot purpose AT ALL not even world-building because, lol, we know the writers don’t care to flesh out Camp Jaha in any real way.

Murphy is taking such sad glee out of instigating Finn’s madness/violence. The Luci of The 100 for sure.

This Bellamy story line is boring though I’m sorry. Some of these scenes (the Clarke or Mount Weather ones) I could watch a million times but this is like... kay, I know what happens already. So.

“There are some lines you can’t uncross.” I mean I think this show has actually shown that’s pretty untrue since people get over almost everything pretty fast. There’s always another horrific thing to do and/or experience!

Yeah my bitterness is seeping in.

Anyway when you come into an interrogation knowing what the “right” answer is, you’ll never learn anything, take note, stupid teenager boys + U.S. law enforcement.

Like honestly this Grounder is 500000x smarter than they are. He saves himself and rains gunfire and destruction upon his enemies. (Well, saves himself for a few minutes--but at least he got to cause harm to those he hates!)

“You thought I was the crazy one, huh?” Was Murphy ever crazy, though, or was he just coldly vengeful?

Speaking of coldly vengeful, Byrne could have been a potentially interesting character? Maybe? I’m not really into the type but as I said I want more Arkers wherever I can find them. And Kane needs real opposition. I have sympathy for him to a degree, but I also think he ultimately weakens rather than strengthens himself.

I love when Monty calls bullshit on stuff. “I can’t see Clarke? Try and fucking stop me, bitches.”

Jasper has such a big heart. Truly the emotional core of this friendship.

I like how Kane speaks as if his “diplomatic mission” of adults is so vastly different than Bellamy and Finn just going off on their own I mean, Byrne is little better than Finn? They’re both easily frustrated and fond of torture? It’s just that Byrne understands a chain of command--barely--that’s literally it.

How does it make literally any sense at all to shocklash a person one hour and make her the Chancellor the next? Like you’ve just encouraged the populace to think of her as nothing special, not above the embarrassing public application of extreme pain--but yes by all means expect them to fall into line behind her leadership. I mean I guess this sort of works if she was already somehow beloved (I guess I’m supposed to just believe that?) and now more sympathy has been generated for her--but such sympathy would seem to come at the expense of Kane. It would seem to be the opposite of what he, or really Byrne, was going for with that disgusting display. But whatever memory is a fiction I guess.

And they have this swelling-music romantic eye-fuck goodbye like??? He was just beating you!! JUST NOW!

What I’m getting out of Murphy advocating for killing the Grounder: first, he has a clear, cold, practicality not unlike Clarke, and two, he still thinks of the delinquents as his friends--how sweet. Two days ago he was killing them, holding them hostage, and stealing their ammo before a huge battle but still. Bygones.

This is not a great ep. for Bellamy leadership lol.

Finn executes a man, while wearing Clarke’s watch, in the place they had sex. Seems...symbolic?? IDK it’s late lol.

I miss Nyko a lot but also now that I’ve seen (part of) Slasher I’m not entirely sure I can ever see Ty Olsson in the same light.

Wouldn’t it be funny if they were literal brothers? Because I always assumed this was metaphorical but...was it? WAS IT?

Weird note to end on, I know. If patterns hold, it’ll be another 2-3 months before I do this again but I’ll try to be a little more on the ball about it.

[oneofthosecrazycatladies]

Arrowverse Re-Watch: Arrow season 1, episode 1 “Pilot”

***Disclaimer: I recommend you read the tags before digging in to this review.

So I’m doing my annual Arrowverse re-watch (where I go back and watch all the Arrowverse shows in chronological order) and this year, I decided I would make these reviews/commentaries about each episode as I re-watch them.

So here goes... WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

Oliver: The name of the island they found me on is Lian Yu. It’s Mandarin for Purgatory. I’ve been stranded here for 5 years.

Okay, don’t get me wrong, the main reason I love Arrow is because the characters are great and real and the stories are so interesting. And Stephen Amell is a fantastic actor, definitely one of the best in the Arrowverse...but hot damn just look at that body

I really don’t like objectifying anyone (of any gender), but art deserves to be appreciated and this body right here is art.

Okay I literally couldn’t find a gif of it anywhere, but that shot of Oliver looking into the mirror and the lightning flashes and you see him in the hood for like a split second...that shot...yeah I love that shot. Ugh it’s so amazing and just chilling.

Okay so apparently a lot of people hated the flashbacks...which I don’t understand??? But I loved the flashbacks. Mostly because I just love flashbacks in general. I mean, they weren’t always super interesting and a lot of the time the flashback storyline wasn’t really as interesting as the main storyline, but I still really liked the flashbacks. I actually kinda miss them sometimes.

TOMMY!

Like basically everyone else in the Arrow fandom, I miss Tommy sooo much. And I know, I know Colin has Chicago Med now, but I gotta be honest...I still haven’t quite gotten over that Tommy (any Earth version) wasn’t Vigilante. Like honestly, what was even the point of making him Vince (or Vinny they literally changed his nickname). God season 6 was such a fucking mess...but more of that later.

Okay so I have a bone to pick with this little moment where Oliver speaks Russian to Raisa. So like I guess it was supposed to demonstrate how Oliver has changed and all that...but like, Oliver’s not stupid. He wouldn’t be so careless as to speak Russian in front of his family and friends when he knows that they know he didn’t speak Russian before the island (thus revealing something about his time away when he’s usually so careful not to let things about that time slip).

I just don’t really like that moment because it seems a bit out of character for him.

Oliver: I didn’t realize you wanted to sleep with my mother, Walter.

Tommy: Have you noticed how hot your sister’s gotten?

It does kinda make me cringe a little though tbh. Although, full disclosure, the first time I ever watched this show, I did kinda ship them. I thought they had great chemistry. Better chemistry than Tommy and L*urel (but we’ll get to that later).

Tommy: So what’d you miss the most; steaks at the Palm, drinks at the station, meaningless sex?

Oliver: L*urel

Oh god here we go with this bullshit...can we just skip to the part where the writers realized that L*uriver was awful and they all jumped on the Olicity train?

Oh look it’s L*urel L*nce, the Queen Bitch of Starling City.

Okay that was an exaggeration...and I don’t actually hate LL, well at least, I don’t hate the idea of her. (Alright, strap yourselves in.)

I feel like LL was only the “real” LL in the first like 3 episodes of season 1 and then like the last 2 episodes before she dies. Every episode in between those she was like the off-brand version of LL. In the first couple episodes, she’s a pretty great character. She genuinely wants to help innocent people, she’s independent, she fights for what she believes in. Other than her being a totally soulless, cold-hearted bitch to Oliver, I actually liked her. But the whole Oliver drama really ruined her. And I blame the writers for that (namely the notorious misogynists Kreisberg and Guggenheim).

So first, they thought that “you cheated on me with my sister” was a great beginning to an epic love story. And then they made her totally cold to Oliver. Like look, as much as I dislike LL, I will always take her side on this issue. Playboy Ollie was a grade A fuckboy jackass and LL has every right to be pissed at him. But...then he spent five years in literal hell. Whatever mistakes he made before the island, he paid for them and then some. Now I know LL doesn’t know all the particulars of what went on in those 5 years, but she must’ve at least seen the movie Cast Away, right? I mean, from her perspective, Oliver spent 5 years completely alone on a deserted island. In that situation he would’ve had to teach himself to hunt and kill animals for food, he would’ve had to learn how to build shelters, he would’ve had literally no one to talk to or interact with for five years. She would’ve had to know that he probably has PTSD...and he comes back and she says “I’d hoped you’d rot in hell a whole lot longer than five years.” Like, are you fucking kidding me?! Why in the fuck would the writers think anyone would ship them with this kind of beginning? How are we supposed to have any sympathy for LL when she won’t even let Oliver try to apologize? And saying that he deserved what happened to him on the island? Jesus fucking Christ. God I couldn’t be more anti-L*uriver if I tried.

I get what (I think) they were trying to go for with LL, but they completely fucked up the execution.

LL: ‘Cause her body was at the bottom of the ocean where you left her. It should’ve been you.

“It should’ve been you.”

Okay bitch let’s go. No one talks to post-island Oliver that way. Ever. Oliver Jonas Queen is a gift to the world and I don’t care what dumbass Ollie Queen did you do not get to say that to Oliver. He has lost and suffered so much, too much. JFC where the fuck is Oliver’s unconditionally loving and supportive wifey when he needs her? Don’t worry bb, only two more episodes and you’re home free.

Mercenary Dude: What did he tell you, Mr. Queen?

Oliver: He told me I’m gonna kill you.

God yes where has this Oliver been the past couple years? Not the kill-happy Oliver, just the intimidating hardcore Oliver that can take down half a dozen guys single-handedly. That’s one of the things I hated about season 6 was how they wrote him so out of character just for plot. Ever since they introduced the newbies in season 5 they’ve written Oliver like he literally can’t even function without having like 5 other people out in the field with him. I don’t mind having a team (I love Roy and Dinah for example) but the team is just too big. (I’ll talk about that in much more detail when we get to seasons 5 and 6 [and that bullshit “civil war”])

Mercenary Dude: You’re delusional. You’re zip-cuffed to that chair.

Oliver: Not anymore.

*shivers*

God the MUSIC! Ugh I love the music in this scene when he’s taking down the kidnappers.

Oh yeah...and this incredible stunt...

And I love that you can tell that Stephen did all these stunts himself. But I especially love the above stunt because it’s so incredible, but like he just does it and it’s as if it’s no big deal because he’s just that physically fit.

QUENTIN!!!

With hair!!!

Oh Quentin deserved so much better than all that nonsense the writers put him through in season 6. But I’m getting ahead of myself here.

I’m just so happy to see him! And to see the journey that he took in the first 4 seasons. (Seasons 5 and 6 [especially 6] weren’t the real Quentin. It had to’ve been one of his doppelgängers because the real Quentin is smarter than to be fooled by BS’ bs).

Ahh did you see what I did there?!

I love Raisa and I’m so happy they brought her back for season 6! I hope she returns again in season 7! I love the way she takes care of the Queen boys!

John Thomas Diggle is in the building ladies and gentlemen! This man is a gift and honestly I sometimes think we don’t deserve him.

Okay I kinda miss seeing Oliver in regular clothes. It seems like, ever since he became mayor, the only civilian clothes we ever see him in are suits. Don’t get me wrong, that man can fill out a suit, he looks delectable...especially when he’s just wearing a button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up (those arms!)

But I also kinda miss just seeing him in like jeans and a t-shirt. Maybe once he gets out of prison we’ll see more of that (since he won’t be mayor).

The whole workout/training sequence is just...

We were completely deprived of shirtless Oliver in season 6 and I just cannot stand for that. We better get like double the amount of shirtless Oliver in season 7 to make up for it.

Tommy: Now, by my rough estimate, you have not had sex in 1,839 days.

Yeah except for Shado and who knows? maybe Sara or even some random girl in Russia.

LL: I’m sorry about saying that you should’ve been the one who died. That was wrong.

Nice apology, LL (this is the real LL I was talking about earlier), but you’re gonna change your mind in like 2 episodes. @jbuffyangel calls this phenomenon “as the Lances turn” (referring to the crazy inconsistencies in how the Lances [especially LL] are written). And I love that phrase I’m totally gonna steal it because it’s so true, but I’ll discuss that more when it flares up in later episodes.

John: I would believe you, Mr. Queen, if you weren’t so full of crap.

John Diggle, ladies and gentlemen, taking none of Oliver’s shit since 2012.

Please, someone, give this man a medal.

Okay but did John and Oliver ever talk about Oliver putting John in that hold and knocking him unconscious? I don’t know why, but I kinda have this headcanon that they never actually did talk about it until like years later (probably after Oliver and Felicity returned from Ivy Town and Oliver and John made up) that John was just like “remember when you knocked me unconscious at your welcome home party”.

Okay I know that it’s Yao Fei’s hood, but I kinda wonder why Oliver didn’t get it lined with Kevlar from the get-go. I mean it’s not like he trained in medieval times and then time-traveled to the 21st century to start his crusade, like he’s aware that guns exist and that a lot of the people he planned to take down would use guns. I mean, he could’ve just gotten Anatoly or someone else in the Bratva, I’m sure they know people who know how to do that.

But at the same time, I guess it kinda fits with his whole persona and his plan. When he first starts out he’s not really waging a full-on war against all crime in the city, he’s just trying to take down the corrupt one-percenters and once he does that he hangs up the hood and moves on with his life. So it makes more sense that his suit is more “raw” because he’s more raw. He doesn’t have a team, doesn’t consider himself a hero. It’s just him and his bow and his list.

So I’m watching the scene where Robert kills himself and it makes me think of the scene in season 5 when Oliver is watching the video that Robert left him and Felicity comes along and is like “wow no prssure” and I’m like yeah! I mean, what a crazy and horrible burden to put on your child. I mean, there they are, Robert’s made all these mistakes, but instead of trying to fix these mistakes himself he’s like “nah I think I’m just gonna tell my son to right my wrongs and then blow my brains out right in front of him leaving him traumatized and completely alone”.

This is Robert:

Like jfc, no wonder Oliver’s so screwed up.

I just don’t get what Tommy sees in LL. I mean, throughout the season they just go on and on about how much Tommy and LL love each other, but I just don’t see anything between them. I mean what did they even have in common besides losing Oliver? I mean the only thing I kind of get about their relationship is LL encouraging Tommy to be a better person. Once again, it’s the idea of LL, but it didn’t really work out that way in execution.

And honestly, you know what the worst part about M*rlance was? Knowing that they only did it to create even more drama between Oliver and LL, but then the fact that the writers ended up dropping L*uriver in favor of Olicity made all that drama pointless. Now obviously I know that the writers didn’t know that L*uriver would be a total bust (though they should’ve) or what Felicity and Olicity would become at the time, but still...hindsight is 20/20 I guess.

Ah Moira, being shady af.

I miss her. I always loved her character and Susanna Thompson is such an amazing actress.

I miss her pretty much for the same reason I miss Tommy: the potential. Both Tommy and Moira never really got to see Oliver become the true hero that he is today. They never got to see Oliver fall in love and have his own family. I feel the same way about Quentin. They could’ve done some great things with him. I always wanted the writers to explore his relationship with Felicity more. They had a great father-daughter kind of relationship in season 2. And especially knowing that Felicity’s father abandoned her and Quentin had lost his daughter, I thought it made so much sense that they sorta would’ve adopted each other as a surrogate family. But no. Instead, the writers went with that BS bs (hehe I did it again). And now Quentin is dead; another great character wasted.

Anyway, that’s all for me about this episode. I hope you enjoyed my ranting and I’ll see you later for episode 2.

[goldenchildkatsuki]

Red bike, purple Bellflower

Summary: Bakugou and Uraraka go for a somewhat sponteanous roadtrip in the summer.

Writers note: Intially meant for the last day of Kacchako Week 2018. I know it's quite a delay. But here it is. This is probably one of my all time favorite stories I have ever written.

I recommened listening to "Idle Town" by Conan Gray when reading this.

Word count: 8.080

Beta reader: @kittychako

AO3 link: (x)

She felt the warm concrete making an imprint on her thighs. She lifted her heels and put her hands under her thighs, protecting them from the gravel. Whipping from one side to another she watched a few cars pass by. A red car, a grey car. Most of the cars stacked with families, slouched down in their seats fanning themselves.

An occasional cooling breeze greeted her, blowing across her neck and shoulders. One of two things that made it bearable to stay outside for longer than a couple of minutes on one of the hottest day in July. Trying to ignore the heat and to kill time, she thought of how it would be if she could drive.

If she would be willing to sweat for hours to go spend a day at an amusement park or zoo, if she could forget about the heat while listening to her favorite cd’s, how many times would she have to tell Bakugou to not put his feet on the dashboard.

Uraraka couldn’t wait to go places with Bakugou. Further than they’d gone before, much further than how far they would go today.

To her relief she heard a bell in the distance. A boy standing on his bike, pedaling like he was the frontrunner in a race. His bike swayed dangerously from left to right. She squinted her eyes to look at him and stood up when he was less than a couple of meters away from her.

The boy hit the brakes and almost fell forwards over his bike. He adjusted himself and sat back down, wide legs and a tight grip on the handle bars.

“You coming?”

“Yeah.”

All Bakugou had told her over the phone was that he wanted to see her, if it was alright and that he would be at hers as fast as he could be. Uraraka had learned from past experiences that it meant they were going somewhere. He wanted to be away from whatever was bothering him, and he wanted her with him. Sitting on the back of his bike, her arms wrapped around his waist, telling him where to turn and where to stop.

She had asked to pause it all, suggesting sitting down and talking, facing the problem head on, but he had practically begged her to let him keep the pace of life. Bakugou preferred to keep his world spinning, hope for the best in a few hours, who knew what that could do.

And what was so wrong with fleeing? He guaranteed her he would’ve been worse off staying at home, where most of his problems originated. She didn’t know how true that was. It was well known that Bakugou had an uniquely short fuse and acted on his emotions so quickly sometimes it was scary. But if he would rather remove himself from the situation then lash out than the situation must’ve been so bad, the possible reaction he could have had, even scared him.

So Uraraka let him be. After one question. The same question she always asked.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Nah.”

“Okay.”

She walked up to him and took his face in her hands. She pecked him on his lips and let her thumb rest on his bottom lip, her eyes full of sympathy meeting his stern ones. She smiled at him, in an attempt to soften his expression. Even though he was physically not in a bad environment anymore, it didn’t mean his head had traveled with him.

She kissed his upper lip. “Let’s go.”

He nodded and he put his right foot on the pedal, leaning to one side so Uraraka could easily climb on. He looked back, waiting for her to make herself comfortable. When she wrapped her arms around his waist he pushed the bike forward and started pedaling, biking out the street.

“Did you greet your folks for me?” Bakugou asked.

“Yeah, they really wanted to see you.”

“I’ll actually stop by and come in soon.”

“They would love that.” Uraraka smiled at his back.

His t-shirt was sticking to him, which was to be expected from someone who’d essentially traveled across town in an incredibly short amount of time. She felt more happy for him than for them both when the wind blew by again. Now that he didn’t feel the need to rush so much and that he’d physically cooled down he would probably start becoming more talkactive.

It wasn’t rare to spend the first few blocks in silence. Uraraka had tried to keep talking to him, to keep him in the moment but every time she did that his answers were short and dry. So, she decided, that it was best, like in this whole situation in general, to leave him be and to let him do as he pleased.

At the first stoplight they had to wait at, Uraraka could tell he was more at ease and his head had caught up with his body. He took her hand that was resting on his stomach and looked over his shoulder at her.

“Your hair looks good today.”

“Thanks! They’re called space buns!”

“Weird name. But it suits you.”

“Thank you, that’s sweet! It’s been the first time they have held up for more than a couple of hours.” With her free hand she felt at the buns on top of her head.

The heat had been a good opportunity to experiment with updo hairstyles. At first it wasn’t as fun as she thought it would be. Now that her hair was longer she had been fighting with knots constantly. She was so jealous of Bakugou, who had recently gotten an undercut, also not being able to bear the heat.

Uraraka used to call Bakugou over, to watch her try new hairstyles because it was an unexpectedly boring process. He would laugh at her getting her fingers stuck in her hair and he would boast about how he was enjoying his new cut and how glad he was he didn’t grow his hair out like she did.

“I also like it when you braid your hair, you should do that more often. I could even do it for you.”

“Bakugou Katsuki, you don’t even know how to put my hair in a ponytail.”

“Shut up, it wasn’t even that fucking bad!”

He squeezed his knuckles against her fingers and she yelped. Uraraka poked his side as he couldn’t stop cackling. The car behind them honked, basically telling them to fool around somewhere else.

Bakugou cursed under his breath and put both of his hands on the handlebars, biking away as fast as he could. They zoomed past parked cars and flew over speedbumps, Uraraka gripping his shirt tightly every time she got launched off her seat.

When they were getting close to leaving their town he started slowing down.

“Hey. Where do you want to go?” Bakugou asked.

Uraraka looked around her, not knowing exactly where they were because she’d her eyes squeezed shut for most of the fast paced journey. Bakugou came to a halt before the big city sign that told them goodbye and hoped they would come back soon.

Uraraka winced as she wanted to jump of the carrier, legs sticking to the metal. She stumbled of the back of the bike and rubbed the back of her legs. She didn’t have to look at them for her to know that they were fiery red.

“What happened to that pillow I requested weeks ago?”

Bakugou laid down his bike next to where a cornfield began. “Sorry, I don’t speak ‘whiny baby’.”

Uraraka crossed her arms and repeated his words back to him in a mocking tone of voice, exaggerating every movement in her face.

“It wasn’t even that bad.” Bakugou approached her.

Uraraka took a few steps back and mocked him again.

“Don’t be like that!”

“Don’t be like that.”

“You’re proving my point!”

“You’re proving my point.”

Uraraka could barely hold up the act and had already started laughing in between syllables. She knew it was childish of her, but it was one of the few things that could actually stop Bakugou from sassing her from hours without end. He could get really agitated when she did that, but she knew he could take it and secretly found it at least a little bit funny.

“You little…” Bakugou stretched his arms out as he came closer; she could tell he was trying his hardest to act menacing by forcibly trying to keep the corner of his mouth down. He tried to grab her but Uraraka ducked just in time and popped up behind him, sticking her tongue out at him. As he turned around she started running away from him. Bakugou finally allowed himself to smile and started chasing her. She ran circles in the empty road, the circles getting smaller and Bakugou getting closer to get her with every lap she ran.

Her lungs felt small when laughing and panting. She enjoyed that a lot. With Bakugou, everything felt small. She felt small, her worries felt small, the world felt small. A lot of the time it truly felt like it was just the two of them. Maybe because nothing else mattered, nothing was more important than having him with her, wholeheartedly laugh like that, goofing around. It was something else, how his happiness, even if it wasn’t fully genuine, made everything else trivial.

It was the little things like this that made her think and appreciate him more. And it was things like this that easily caught her off guard.

Bakugou threw his arms around her waist and lifted her of the ground. She kicked her feet in protest and tried to wiggle free. He turned her around and threw her over his shoulder, which he often liked to do when he thought Uraraka was acting up. He waited for her to settle down and catch her breathe before getting back on topic.

“So, where do you want to go?” he asked ever so cocky.

Uraraka wasn’t ready to hand him the satisfaction that he handled her and attempt to mock him one last time, but before she could even finish her sentence Bakugou dropped her dangerously low to the concrete. She screamed and stretched her hands out, fingers barely grazing the ground. Now seeing the point in acting a bit more serious and letting Bakugou have that satisfaction she was ready to give him a proper answer.

“You’ll have to put me down first before I answer.”

Bakugou hung her even closer to the ground.

“Properly. Don’t leave me in a headstand. You know what happened last time.”

“Oh don’t start! I could barely see the fucking gash!”

As if Bakugou felt her glaring at his calves he towed her back over his shoulder and carefully put her back down.

“I want to go to the beach.”

Bakugou jerked his head backwards and raised his eyebrows.

“You see, I wanted to go to the beach so bad but my parents can’t seem to make time and I know it’s not their fault and I’m stupid for telling you this because it’s just a stupid craving I have, but you asked me where I wanted to go so I thought-“

Bakugou was trying hard to follow her rambling. He seemed to be thinking at the same time, rubbing his chin as he let her ramble on.

“-Right, let’s go.” he eventually interrupted her.

He walked over to his bike and pulled it from the dry soil.

Uraraka repeated his words in her head to make sure that she’d heard him correctly.

“Wait, are you serious? Bakugou, it’s already forty minutes away with a car!”

He wiped the sand dust of his handlebars and the carrier and sat down on the saddle. “Well, that’s my fault for letting you decide where we should go.”

Surely he was joking. She was waiting for him to crack up and suggest to go to their usual spot at the riverbank. He drummed with his fingers on the handlebars, seemingly impatient.

Why wasn’t he laughing yet?

“But we’ve never been out of town together before,” Uraraka blurted out, not being able to handle the tension only she seemed to be feeling.

“Fuck this town. I’m sick of it anyways. Now are you coming or what?” He glowered at the sign. Bakugou was sick of a lot of things. It was something he could easily say about the slightest thing that irritated him. Uraraka had made fun of him for that habit as his words lost meaning. But this time his voice sounded so bitter, the words fueled by genuine hate.

He wanted to get away so badly.

Who knew exactly what from. But that shouldn’t be important to her right now. Uraraka was always prepared to go along with him, as long as he safely took her back. She would sit on the back of his bike even if he rode a lap around the world, as long as they would end up in front of her gate.

It might take them the whole evening to get back and her parents wouldn’t hesitate to ground her. But it was the beach after all and Bakugou needed her.

“Of course I’m coming.”

Bakugou started pedaling, Uraraka jogging behind him and jumping on after he gained enough pace. They passed the border and his slowly shoulders dropped, his back muscles relaxed. With her hands on she properly noticed his stomach rise and fall. She wondered if this was the first time he was able to breathe properly in some time. His breath obviously being in his chest the whole time.  Bakugou gradually started to slow down.

“It would be a shame to let this fly, wouldn’t it?”

Uraraka couldn’t help but romanticize the plain landscapes that were ahead of them. She rarely got out of the city, there was no reason for her to. Everything she needed was back there, entertainment, education, comfort and love. And if she went outside of the city, they drove so fast she barely noticed anything changing. Finally she could take in the fields that had turned gold too early for this time of year, stretching out as far as they eye could see. An occasional barn with silver silos that scratched the sky would interrupt the repetitive scenery.

“Do you think farmers ever get bored here?” she whispered as if the farmers were listening in from afar.

“Nah. They probably got a shit ton of money, and it’s pretty hard to get bored with that.”

“What about lonely, do you think they get lonely out here?”

Bakugou didn’t have an immediate answer for that. He had to think so hard his hand went back to his chin, which made the bike swerve to the opposite side of the road.

“Two hands please!”

Still deep in thought he adjusted. In a way it was quite funny how hard he tried to find an answer for trivial questions like that. Uraraka appreciated it though, she knew how silly her questions were but she genuinely wondered and would have much rather have him contemplate with her than laugh.

“Well, they have animals,” was the best Bakugou could come up with.

Uraraka stayed silent and nodded in agreement. She listened to the collectable All Might baseball card rattling in the spokes of his bike and the crickets chirping at them.

“Uraraka,” Bakugou said after they’d advanced what felt like a couple of miles.

“Take my phone because I have no fucking clue where we’re actually going.”

Uraraka did what he asked her too and unlocked his phone and bringing up the map. She zoomed out and saw they weren’t going to reach the beach anytime soon, but they were approaching a small township. A town with barely  three hundred citizens and where people from her town only go to fuel their car for a bargain. If she remembered the journey by car correctly than they’ve actually traveled more than a couple of miles.

Bakugou stopped peddling and left the wheels spinning. He poked his nose over his shoulder, trying to take a glance at the map.

“You’re lucky we’ve been the only ones on the road so far,” Uraraka said under her breathe.

Bakugou looked back at the road as fast as he could then tried to take another peek at the phone on Uraraka’s lap.

“We’re still miles away from the beach. But we are getting close to a town.” Uraraka sighed. Looking at the map had discouraged her, she knew from the start it was an unrealistic journey but she had been hopeful still and excited nonetheless.

“Don’t you dare get discouraged Pink Cheeks,” he yelled back at her. He faced the road again and started pedaling again.

“Those miles mean fuck all. Trust me, we’ll get there.”

He lifted himself from his seat and leaned forward, adding even more momentum. Uraraka chose not to go into discussion with him. She couldn’t decide if it was a sweet gesture or not, if he really wanted to take her to the beach or if he just wanted to get as far away from everything as possible. Deep down she knew it was probably right to ask him if he perhaps felt like talking now, but he would most likely snap and then she wouldn’t know what to do. Because she had never actually seen Bakugou break down before.

It didn’t take them long until they were welcomed by a city sign, considerably smaller but much more genuine than theirs. At first glance the town looked like those towns in Western movies, where the cowboy would have a final standoff with his rival because ‘the town wasn’t big enough for both of them’. Truthfully, she felt like that was exactly what was going on and she and Bakugou were the only ones who didn’t know about it and weren’t hiding in saloons and barns.

The rattling of the baseball card was one of the few noises being made in the town, alongside some creaking and footsteps on the pavement from a few people that had decided to come out into the open. Even after having realized that the town wasn’t actually in hiding, it didn’t feel alive. The way the people dragged their feet along, made it seem like they were also tired of this place.

Livelihood aside, it was a gorgeous farmers town, it was the kind of town you would want to let your kids grow up in. They could safely play on the street, and everyone could look out for them because everyone knew each other. Uraraka’s heart fluttered when she realized it was Bakugou she could see herself living here with, watching their children run around with water guns enjoying the summer heat.

She physically melted at the idea alone. She huddled closer to Bakugou and closed her eyes, making the visions a little bit more vivid. Uraraka hoped he somehow thought about the same thing, that she was also the only person he could picture himself with in the future.

Suddenly Bakugou came to a halt, and would have made her fall backwards if he hadn’t gripped her arm in time.

“Sunglasses. We need those if we’re going to the beach right?”

Uraraka looked in the direction he was facing, on their right was a small gift store that had very rightfully set on making their profit by selling beach supplies, seemingly as this was a route to go the beach. Unfortunately it was the longest one so not a lot of beachgoers actually passed through here. She thought it would definitely make the owner happy if they bought something.

Uraraka got off, her legs luckily a lot less sticky as the weather started to cool down. Bakugou laid his bike on the curb and walked to the display with sunglasses. He picked out two sunglasses, both with a thin frame, one frame colored rose gold and one silver, both of the pairs having colored lenses.

He tucked one pair into the neck of his shirt and walked up to Uraraka, who stuck her hands out for the sunglasses. He held them away from her and put the loose strands of hair framing her face behind her ears. In the clumsiest was possible he tried to put them on her face, pushing Uraraka’s hands away every time she attempted to do it herself.

“I don’t even think we need this by the time we’ll get there, Bakugou.”

“You don’t know that. Anyways, they look really fucking nice on you.”

Uraraka adjusted the sunglasses as soon as she had the chance to. They lenses had made it seem like the town had been drowned in the colors of the setting sun, making her not want to take them off.

“Come on, show them off!” Bakugou teased her.

She twirled around, vogued and blew him a kiss, badly imitating the models she saw in commercials. While it made her laugh it made Bakugou genuinely blush. When Bakugou got flustered he got more frustrated than awkward, the poor boy didn’t know what to do with himself and the only thing he could think of was to aggressively pretend he wasn’t as lovey-dovey as he actually was.

Uraraka decided to help the poor boy out of his misery and took the glasses from the hem of his shirt and smoothly put the sunglasses on his face.

“They look cool on you babe.”

“I make everything look cool.” He modeled the glasses, hands in his pockets, then arms crossed, hip jutted out. God damn it if he didn’t look incredibly handsome with them. He looked so good it almost pissed her off.

Uraraka walked over to the display and gave it a spin, looking for the most ridiculous sunglasses she could find and handed them over to Bakugou. She smirked and put the glasses on the bridge of her nose, peering at him. “Let’s see you try to make these ones look cool.”

He took the handful of sunglasses and tried all of them, looking at himself in the foil mirror in the display. His facial expression was blank but she knew they were thinking the same thing: He really rocked all of them. When he took the last ones off, Uraraka didn’t even bother to say a word, her small smile and puffed up pink cheeks saying enough.

“So, which one should I get?” Bakugou asked as he put the glasses back in the display.

“The first one, obviously!”

“I kinda thought the pineapple shaped ones were cool though.”

“What terrible taste. Get both of them then, I’ll start looking for more supplies.”

As Bakugou went back for the glasses, Uraraka picked out a small beach towel, a beach ball and a postalcard from the town. She was surprised they even had cards, there wasn’t much they could put on them except for farms.

Uraraka walked into the store and immediately got greeted by a lady who was hanging over the counter. She was probably waiting and hunkering for them to come in and actually buy things. Uraraka put the towel, postcard and inflated beach ball on the counter and took her wallet out of her pocket as the cashier was ticking in the prices of the items. She frowned at the wallet, having less cash than she remembered and was about to call Bakugou as he walked in the store with his two sunglasses and two ice cream cones in his hand. How was she even able to overlook the freezer?

“Bakugou, I don’t have much on me right now, how much do you..”

He pulled her glasses off her face and put them with his items on the counter.

“Can I pay by card?” He waved a credit card in front of the cashier.

Uraraka opened her mouth for a second but then closed it and formed a straight line with her lips. She took a few steps away from the counter to give Bakugou space to swipe the card in the machine the cashier had put there.

“Thank you for your purchase, please come back again soon!” The lady waved them goodbye as they walked out the store with their items.

She waited until they were at the bike before speaking up.

“Really Bakugou? Stealing your dad’s credit card?”

He shrugged, threw most of their beach supplies on the ground and sat down on the curb next to his bike.

“I think you know how stupid that was. No matter how angry you may have been, you can’t do that, it’s dangerous to play with money like that.”

It wasn’t hard to make out from his behavior, which seemed indifferent at first glance, that he knew he was completely in the wrong. He couldn’t even lift his head to look at her. He kept unnecessarily fumbling with the tag attached to his sunglasses.

Uraraka still found it hard to be stern and confront him with his out of line behavior. There weren’t a lot of times he did act out of order, or in spite or anger but the times he did, she did feel the need to drop her sympathy and scold him for it. Which always made him feel bad or worse than he already did, but mainly because Uraraka was upset with him.

“Why did you do it?”

“I don’t fucking know, I guess I wanted to fuck up something of theirs, so I went for my old man’s bank account.”

She refrained from overstepping her boundaries and ended the discussion with a compromise.

“You need to buy a lot more than just this to do that but alright, I’ll drop it, but we have to pay him back as soon as we can.”

“We?”

Uraraka sat down next to him. “Yes, because some of this is also mine.” She took an ice cream cone from his hand.

“You thought you were going get away with having mine as well didn’t ya?” she joked in attempt to brighten the mood, assuming that he subconsciously agreed with her.

Bakugou turned to her, still finding it hard to meet her eyes. “We’ll pay him back. I’m sorry.”

Uraraka shifted closer to him and started taking of the wrapping paper of her cone. “Though I do accept your apology, you know I’m not the one you should apologize to.” Bakugou nodded and with a single hard tug he tore the tag of the sunglasses with the colored lenses and put them on. Uraraka copied him and put her head on his shoulder.

Even though Uraraka’s scolding was appropriate she was still worried of somehow pushing Bakugou closer to his breaking point. As she enjoyed her ice cream she tried to figure out what he could be thinking about in that moment.

“Hey, Uraraka,” Bakugou asked as he pulled the last bit of paper of his cone.

She slightly perked up and turned her head towards him.

With knitted brows he stared at the cone, he turned it around and inspected it even bringing it closer to his face. Uraraka carefully waited for him elaborate, but he continued inspecting it, audibly sniffing at the ice cream.

“Is it me or does this smell weird?” Bakugou turned the cone towards her. She looked at her own ice cream before hesitantly leaning in to smell his. Right before she could pull back he pushed the ice cream against the tip of her nose. Slowly she leaned back and glared at him.

No need to worry, he was himself again.

Bakugou bursted into uncontrollable laughter, practically rolling around on the curb. Uraraka wiped the cream off her nose as Bakugou was wiping away tears. She saw her opportunity when Bakugou had his eyes closed and pressed her cone against his nose. Immediately he opened his eyes  and froze.

He pointed his cone at her. “You’ve started a war Pink Cheeks.”

Uraraka laughed and threw herself on him, trying to avoid the war. She wrapped her arms around Bakugou and kissed the cream off his nose.  

“Don’t start acting all cute now!” he struggled to get his words out. She continued to leave little kisses on his nose. Bakugou pretended to put up a fight but mostly allowed her to shower him affection.

“Hold on.” He abruptly stopped her. Licking his thumb, he rubbed away a dried spot of cream. Afterwards he left a quick kiss on her nose. “You didn’t even properly clean yourself up.”

Uraraka rubbed around her nose with her index fingers. “Better?”

“Better.”

After they’ve finished their ice cream, Bakugou went back in the shop and got a bottle of water for the road and they continued their journey. Uraraka had folded up the towel and put it under the carrier bands, creating a comfortable pillow for herself. Attempting to keep herself from falling over backwards she held the spout of the beachball with two hands and tried to blow it up.

The air had turned brisk, the sun set low, making their newly bought shades meaningless, already. It made her wonder about the time, she had her phone with her, but she hadn’t bothered checking the it ever since she had to look on the map on Bakugou’s own one. She was starting to get anxious again, realizing how ridiculous the adventure was. They were both ignoring the serious doubts that had undeniably been pushed back. But considering how fast Bakugou was paddling and how she was blowing up the beachball in the first place, they still intended to get there, so maybe they actually would.

“Stop here!”

Bakugou braked and Uraraka jumped off the back, running towards a flowerbed in front of what seemed to be a people’s home at the edge of the township. She squatted down and gently took the petals of the flowers between her fingers. The petals of the purple bellflowers felt crispy and started turning brown. Uraraka looked up directly at the face of an old woman in a rocking chair in front of big window with white, wooden frames, beautiful dressed with carvings of flowers growing around them. She smiled at Uraraka and the flowers. It upset her.

For not having been in the town for long, she had immediately fallen in love with it. The desire to end up here grew greater, seeing the lady smile at her favorite flower. That could be her one day, rocking in that chair, preferably with Bakugou next to her, rocking alongside her, holding her hand. Call her superstitious, over empathic, heart-struck, a dreamer but the flowers were a sign.

“What’s up?”

“We need to promise.”

“Promise what?”

“Promise to come back. Can’t you see this is a sign to come back here one day?”

Bakugou sighed and stepped of his bike and didn’t answer her question.

“It may sound stupid, but I feel like if we care for them, if we nurture them, it’s like a promise to one day return. It’s like showing that we care, that we’re not just cruising through like everyone else.”

Bakugou squatted down next to her. “First of all, it is stupid.”

Uraraka frowned at him.

“But obviously it’s not stupid to you, so it’s whatever.” He handed her the last bit of his bottled water. Uraraka’s face lit up, she eagerly unscrewed the cap and showered the flowers with water.

Bakugou took a look at the woman window and then carefully watched Uraraka care for the flowers. “You really fucking like this town, don’t you?”

“I really do. Don’t you?” She cheerfully asked him as she shook the bottle around to get out the last drops.

Bakugou only replied with a huff and stepped back on his bike, leaning to the right for Uraraka to get on. She had a satisfied smile on her face and continued to keep it as the rode away, smile only getting bigger when seeing the old woman in the window wave them goodbye.

“No more stops alright?” Bakugou had said, twenty minutes before Uraraka had made them stop again by force, by unexpectedly jumping off the bike.

“The fuck are you doing, are you trying to fucking hurt yourself?!” Bakugou barked at her. He made a sharp turn and met Uraraka who stood in front of a small, old circus tent, propped up in the middle of nowhere.

Uraraka’s jaw dropped and she looked back at Bakugou expecting the same reaction. Instead he had a disappointed look on his face and folded his arms, his stance supporting his stern words.

“Uraraka, the sun is fucking setting, we’re not doing this.”

She pouted at him.

“No fucking way, I really thought we would get to the beach before it got dark.”

She folded her hands.

“Your parent’s are going to fucking kill me if I get you home after ten.”

She desperately bit her lip.

“Especially your mom, she’s fucking ruthless.”

She jumped from one foot to another.

“I fucking hate you, okay let’s go.”

Uraraka let out a cheer and took Bakugou’s arm, dragging him in the purple and cream striped tent. The inside of the tent was decorated with fairy lights and Persian rugs. The tiny place was crowded with all kinds of ornaments and old lamps in all shapes in sizes, some of them lit. In the center sat a woman at a table draped with a dark red, velvet table cover. The woman was dressed in a beautiful veil, that only revealed a few dark curls and a set of dark and focused eyes. Not noticing the two kids that have wandered in she continued to shuffle a deck of cards until they came close to her table.

“We’re definitely getting cursed or some shit,” Bakugou hissed. Uraraka stomped on his foot and tried to get in the field of vision of the woman. When Uraraka had to come to close for her comfort the woman stopped and in a swift movement spread the cards out on the table in a bow like formation.

She tucked the veil behind her ears and showed her face. Like Uraraka expected she was an elder, having visible wrinkles around her nose and mouth. Her face was heavy with make-up, her eyelids apple green, her thin lips, lined with a dark liner and her cheek bones colored with a pink blush.

With a simple gesture she offered them both a seat. Uraraka felt her heart racing as she made herself as comfortable as she could get at the table. She corrected Bakugou’s posture who immediately slouched the minute he sat down. He was always being dragged into her fascinations and interests that he wasn’t particularly fond of, debatably, going to see a fortune teller was one of the ‘strangest’ things he had to sit through, but he had surely gotten used to it. He genuinely wouldn’t have been with her if his interest wasn’t at least a little bit prickled In the first place.

“What can I do for you darlings?” she asked after a minute of silence went by. Uraraka immediately got thrown off by her accent, not being able to place it. She didn’t sound like she was of Japanese origin, which made her whole existence even more interesting.

“What can you actually do for us?” Bakugou asked.

The woman laughed and picked up her cards tidied her deck. “I can do a lot love, I can tell you about the stars and the universe, I can tell you about other worlds, but what I’m really good at is telling you more about you.”

“Let’s start small, can you tell us more about ourselves? With those cards maybe?” Uraraka pointed at the them.

Again, the woman laughed. Uraraka and Bakugou shot each other a quick look.

“Of course I can, Doll Face, these cards can tell you exactly what has been, what is and what’s yet to come.”

The woman collected the cards, asked for Uraraka’s hand which she held in both hands. “Thank you for allowing me to borrow you energy Doll Face. My name’s Elina, and when you’re ready I’m going to start your reading.”

Bakugou let out a soft groan, which led to a kick under the table. Uraraka vigorously nodded at Elina and the reading began. First, she was asked to lay her hand on the deck of cards and close her eyes, having to send all her energy towards the cards. When Uraraka felt she had done so, she gave Elina a sign and she then shuffled the cards and slapped the first three cards that were on top upside down on the table.

Uraraka anxiously watched the red glossed nail tap on the first card.

“What has been.” Elina turned the first card around.

“What is.” The second card got flipped.

“What’s yet to come.” She revealed the last card.

Uraraka tried to make sense of the pictures she saw but she didn’t have a single clue what they could have meant. She tried not to interpret much, because the second card honestly looked kind of scary and waited for the fortuneteller to take a good look at the cards.

“Don’t let the cards scare you Doll Face, just look at me.” Elina tried not to break eye contact with her whilst she explained what the cards told her, having a reassuring smile on her at all times.

“Your heart is big, almost too big for a child. It has been, it is and always will be larger than most. You love to protect, care and nurture, and are doing that in the most loving way possible, now especially with this boy. How does this sounds to you?”

The two children sat blushing at the table, Bakugou waiting for Uraraka to say something as she was struggling to confirm. Elina took that as an indication to continue and did so.

“For your future, this card is telling me about the weather. A storm after a heatwave, with thunder and lightning, followed by a rain shower. I suspect it has something to do with that boy. But remember, the future card tells everything that’s beyond your control, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t play a part in creating the future.”

Bakugou put his fist on the table. “Bullshit.”

Elina didn’t flinch and continued to talk to Uraraka. “Do you understand what the cards are trying to tell you?”

Uraraka shook her head.

“You do.” Elina hushed.

A second bang followed. “Don’t sell that shitty forecast to her! Read my fucking future and I’ll prove that the cards aren’t saying shit,” Bakugou said.

The reading had struck a chord with him. She didn’t have a clue how he may have interpreted her reading but whatever it may be there was no need for him to act up like that. Before she could excuse her and Bakugou, Elina calmly asked for his hand. Bakugou underwent the exact same procedure, though he was less focused and serious than her. When shuffling and laying down the three cards Elina had lost her smile. Bakugou was completely silent when she went to turn his fist card.

“What has been. What is. What’s yet to come.” The sympathy had left her voice, which sent chills down Uraraka’s spine. Again, she couldn’t figure out what the pictures meant but considering the tension it was something she should probably worry about.

“Oh Love, where does all this anger come from?”

Bakugou stiffened after hearing the question.

“In all three of your cards I can read a lot of emotion. In the past I read a lot of passive aggression. You haven’t been excused for your behavior a lot of times, have you?”

“What the fuck?”

Elina pointed at the card representing the past. “The times you’re not being excused, you flee. You don’t understand other people for not excusing you but you also don’t understand yourself for bearing the emotions that you do, reacting the way that you do.”

The tension had become unbearable, Uraraka held her breath, waiting for the reading of Bakugou’s future card. As Elina held up the last card to him, she felt like she was going to pass out.

“Love, if you don’t recognize the proportion of your emotions, if you don’t learn to express them in a healthy way, this card will be correct. Your future will contain broken homes, in two points in the future. I don’t wish that upon you.” Elina swiped his cards of her table and put them back on the deck, shuffling them again.

Bakugou fists started balling, his breathing becoming louder than the sounds of the shuffled deck. Uraraka prepared herself for loud cursing and cards flying across the room but to her surprise he stood up and walked out the tent.

She had done it now. This was awful. She was supposed to give him comfort but instead she’d dragged him in front of a stranger that deeply insulted him. The fortuneteller was supposed to tell them what pet they were going to get, where they were going to get married, how many children they were going to have. Lighthearted things, the type of things you could gush about with your friends, things you would scribble down somewhere so you could pull up again in the future to see if anything matched.

Not this.

Uraraka stood up, afraid that if she wouldn’t be outside in now and a second he might be gone.

“Learn to love in different ways, Doll Face,” Eline told her before she ran out the tent.

On the side of the road, he stood, looking like a lost child. She ran up to him, immediately apologizing before even getting close to him. Telling him that the reading was wrong, that it was a scam, that it shouldn’t mean anything. She told him anything to convince him that he shouldn’t take it to heart. But her words lost meaning, as the boy was bawling his eyes out, trying to suppress it as much as he could.

Bakugou finally broke and she didn’t know what to do.

They were supposed to be nearing the beach. They were supposed to all smiles.

“I know,” Bakugou sobbed. The exhaustion weighing his body heavy, he took his time to turn around to face her. Uraraka looked at their shoes, knowing that she couldn’t bare seeing his face.

“I know that everything that old hag said made sense. It pisses me off so fucking much.”

At last it started to sink in what Elina had been trying to tell her and what she had essentially been trying to tell herself from the start.

“If what she said was somewhat right, we need to start talking.”

“I don’t want to! And it’s not like I can anyways!” Bakugou desperately yelled at her.

Uraraka jumped, she expected him to say that but she had to stand her ground. She raised her head and looked him straight in his bloodshot eyes.

“Katsuki, this is not the case of ‘not wanting’ to do something. Can’t you see that you have to at this point? You’re hurting yourself by fleeing and holding everything in. I’ve let you off more than enough times, which yes, has been bad on my part, but now I want you to try to talk to me. We’ll start small again, tell me about what happened this afternoon.”

Bakugou covered his face with his arms.

“Ochako, I really fucking can’t,” Bakugou groaned.

“Katsuki.”

Frustrated he dropped his arms and sighed. “I really can’t! Because I don’t understand myself alright?! I just always overreact to the smallest things. Things I know don’t bother me, make me want to fucking scream and punch something. And, I don’t fucking know, my parent’s happen to be really good at bothering me that things that shouldn’t bother me.”

Bakugou looked for more words as Uraraka nodded at him, genuinely been able to follow him.

“I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. I don’t want to react like that, I really fucking don’t. Honestly, it’s damn scary. That’s why I just leave the house, well yeah, because my parents are assholes but mostly because I don’t want to say or do something they’ll take into their fucking graves.”

He still had difficulty finding words, running out of breathe because of how fast he was trying to get his words out and how much he was still crying.

“What do your parents do to you?”

“They can’t stop shitting on me. They complain about everything I do or say. Always talking shit about ‘if say this, I won’t have any friends left’ or ‘if I keep doing this, you’ll get tired of me’. Stupid shit like that.”

Uraraka had no idea about that’s how his parents spoke to him. The times she had been over Bakugou’s parents would sigh or laugh it away when Bakugou acted out of order.

“But what if their words actually did bother you?"

“They shouldn’t! You have no idea how many people have told me the same fucking thing. Drilled that into me, so much that I thought I was meant to be all alone.” He laughed through his tears.

“And I was always fine with it. At least I couldn’t scare anyone away by lashing out if I was alone.”

It’s taken the boy so long to come to this and it shouldn’t have been. It physically hurt to see him laughing away his pain.

“Just because you we’re fine with it doesn’t mean you liked it. It doesn’t mean you liked being told off, it doesn’t mean you liked to feel alone,” Uraraka told him.

“Well, no, but-”

“-You’ve held in all those emotions since, I don’t know how long. Of course they randomly burst out in such an extreme way if you haven’t learned to deal with those emotions properly.”

Uraraka came closer to him and wiped away some of his tears with her fingers.

“That’s whatever but haven’t you heard that hag. I’m gonna end up with broken homes if I don’t figure out how to dial it down a notch. How do I deal with shit that happened years ago? I can’t figure that out in time, by the time I figure it out my parents will be done with me and you’ll long gone.”

“I’m won’t be.”

“Yes, you will.”

Bakugou put both of his hands on her cheeks, his nails dug into her the hairs on the nape of her neck and the skin behind her ears. He brought her face closer to his. “Listen, all of this shit aside, what really fucks me up is the thought of scaring you away. What if you have enough of me coming to pick you up every time I have a tantrum? What if I someday lash out at you?”

He had to try his hardest to try and smile. “I can’t lose you.”

He brought her lips to his and kissed her.

“I want to take you to the beach.”

He squeezed her face tighter and brought her in for another kiss.

“I want to keep our promise and go back to that small, dusty town you like so much. Buy us a house there. Some white picket fence shit.”

He breathed against her lips and mushed her face together for the last kiss. A kiss so desperate as if she was indeed going to leave. A gesture that begged her to stay.

“I want to keep loving you with all that I am.”

Uraraka held on to his wrists and placed her forehead against his. “I’m not going anywhere because we’re going to figure it out, together. But you got to talk to me alright? And you got to start talking to your parents too, got it. Try to at least?”

“Got it.”

“You can still call me and come pick me up if it’s too much, but you have to promise that we’re talking first before going anywhere”

“I promise.”

Uraraka lifted her chin and sealed the promise with a kiss. Bakugou let go of her face and distanced himself from her, taking a few deep breaths before going walking back to his bike and picking it up. He looked at the road ahead of him and turned back to her.

“Is it alright if I take you to the beach another time?”

“That’s alright with me.”

[violetosprey]

admittedly we clearly know not much if anything about him but we can speculate. What do you think about Axel? If anything i can at least say he has interesting fashion choices. Maybe he'll eat someone in front of us and then ether invite us to join him or try to flirt with us after the fact. I like his visual design even if we only have half his face for now. I already like those gloves. Not sure what else to ask, but feel free to add anything. at least were meeting this hot guy together.

Oh wow, you’re askingme about a brand new character in a possibleupcoming game series from ElectricPuke while Mark of Belial is still being developed right now XD  That’s cool.

And I have like…1ounce of details to go off of (literally 2 images and a tiny summary of thegame he’d be in).  So on the bright side,hey I can’t spoil anything!  On thedownside, I worry about overhyping (especially if the game idea gets scrapped)or just saying something that…I don’t know, will ruin something about him?

But *bites thumb* I reeeaaaaalllllyyyy wannasee what I can say here.  So against mybetter judgement, I’ll chatter away.

So yes, already inlove with the one possible outfit of his. It doesn’t help that…sometimes I get more hot and bothered by “tease”outfits than full nudity *sweats*(that low crotch line and the one nipple visible…god be still my beatingheart).  But more importantly!  Yes the choices he’s made for the image aresimple but effective.  The gloves andapron, and the line in the summary about the parents loving to have people fordinner…that’s what makes me guess he’s probably a cannibal.  At the very least, he’s a butcher or operateslike one when prepping meals.  I’m gonnaguess the whole farm family will end up being cannibals, but you neverknow.  Could get some apathetic vegetarianmurderer thrown into the mix there who just doesn’t care what the rest of thefamily eats.  That’d actually be prettyfunny :P

Now he’s also got amask on, the kind that you’d use when welding like with a blowtorch orsomething.  That’s something differentthere.  Puke’s had characters that haveboth eaten MC like a wild animal, or forced the MC to eat themselves.  And we’ve had an MC boiled alive before.  But if Axel (who’s name btw I love, but now Ikeep thinking he’s gotta have red hair because of the character from KingdomHearts.  Darn it!), does use such a mask,it means he exposes himself to hot temperatures.  He could possible roast his victims, or takethat blowtorch and…you know how like with some desserts you take a blowtorch togive it that extra touch (NO idea what the cooking term is for it, but youusually lightly crisp the outside, like with a cream brule)?  He could be trying to make a nice lookingdinner and slowly crisps the outsideof the meat >:D If Puke wants to do some other new stuff, he could alsoalways have a killer who chops off just parts of a victim at a time, thencauterizes the wound with a blowtorch (so the bleeding stops), and keep em tillthe next meal.

…What?  Too dark? Well let’s just say the mask is just to avoid being a complete copycatof the Leatherface from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre then :P  Puke’s character’s are usually easy on theeyes, but they CAN be scarred up a bit. So I doubt Axel’s actually ugly or disfigured like Leatherface, but hemay or may not be hiding a facial feature under there.  He doesn’t look like the type at face valuewho’s got low self esteem.

Speaking ofpersonality, yeah it’s all just speculation here.  The tongue sticking out does give a sense of “playfulness,”or he just enjoys the taste of the blood he’s getting off the sides of hismouth.  Now Puke’s usually pretty good atmaking his character’s pretty distinct. As his cast grows, it will understandable get harder for him to makeeveryone incredibly unique (but he’s still a much better story writer andcharacter creator than I could ever be). So we may see some traits recycled every now and then.  Like I’m gonna take a blind guess here thatif he were to recycle a manner of speak, he probably would not use something asdignified as Cain’s or as detached as Sano’s. Probably something closer to Akira or Vincent (heck Vincent’s alreadyfoul mouthed with a Texas accent, which would actually fit pretty well withthis scenario).  He could still be newthough by either doing a different southern style, could have Axel sound morehill billy or redneck, or he could actually sound a little more fun andeducated compared to Vincent (but not as much as Cain).  I’d looooovvvveeeee if he was flirting whenmeeting the guests (butter people up), during the meal prepping (that’d be kindof twisted), OR after the meal (if the…victim still has consciousness somehow).  He could also be the type though thatliterally just views the person as a bipedal pig ready for slaughter.  No sympathy, and no attachments.

Well I got to squeezea little bit out of that for fun!  I’m notgoing to hold it to Puke that he absolutely has to go through with any of thisstuff.  He’ll make whatever he’s feelingup for (he never likes to put out incomplete or messy projects).  This would definitely be fun to seethough.  And I…I need to still calm downafter that last drawing *shivers*.

Yep, glad to see otherpeople interested in the character as well.

[rockerdestiel13]

Fear of the Moon pt 5

Omega!Reader X Alpha!Werewolf!Dean

Like and Reblog if you like it :)

Warnings: masturbation, sexual assualt 

AN: This is something I’ve been sitting on for a while, lemme know what you think. Feedback is the crack that keeps the writer coming back.

Tag Squad: @stephizzle94 @kaylas-obsessions @castielspahdehrah@winchester-writes @bookshido @demondean-for-kingofhell  @supernatural-roleplayer @appleschloss  @kittenofdoomage (senpai please lemme know what you think) @spnfanficpond  @this-manis-playing-galaga

Special thanks to @impalaimagining for the graphic <3

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 6

Y/n poured over countless books and pdfs alike, the only thing standing out as a possible culprit being a Qareen. But that was ancient Arabic magic. She covered her face with her hands, looking at the time. Her eyes widened as she realized it was almost midnight. “Shit.” She pulled her hair out of the ponytail, managing to flop into the rough motel bed just as the pain started. She could feel his laugh echo though her mind as his body changed. Skin turned to fur, teeth became fangs, fingers to claws. She cried out, feeling as if a set of calloused hands were rubbing over her skin, her back arching as the sensation stroked over her folds through her jeans. Her skin rose up into goosebumps as she panted through the sensations, her pupils turning into slits as a wolf’s howl reverberated in her soul. That settled it, her soulmate. The mystery man she already loved was a monster. A werewolf. She closed her eyes, giving herself over to the pleasure as she kicked her jeans off. Her fingers instantly seeking out her core, already wet from the sensations. She felt his smile in her thoughts as she quickly got to work. Her fingers made the most pornographic sounds as she sought out her gspot and started to work the textured skin. A soft growl of need passed over her lips on a quick breath, her hips bucking up into her own hand. She sucked her lower lips between her teeth and bit down, her other hand reacting down to stimulate her clit. “Fuck!” She cried out, working her hands faster. She could feel the pressure building in her stomach, making her muscles tighten around her fingers. The rhythmic squelch-squelch-squelch of her movements seemed to echo in the room, along with the creaking of the mattress under her. Her skin broke out into a fine sweat, feeling the predatory need bounce to her from her soulmate. She knew it turned him on when she worked herself off with her fingers. Even throughout her heat she needed to use her fingers. Y/n had found out once that any kind of fake knot made the Alpha jealous. He had force her not to touch herself while he jerked off, describing everything that he'd do to her if she was there with him.

That thought pushed her over the edge, her muscles clamping down tightly on her fingers as she worked herself through the climax, fluid soaked her folds, making a small stain on the sheets under her as she lay trying to catch her breath. She could feel the smug pride of the Alpha as it washed over her thoughts. He beamed knowing that he had been the cause of her pleasure. She chuckled, letting her body rest for a moment as her breath returned to her. Once she felt back to normal, Y/n cleaned herself up before dressing in a pair of black shorts and a tank top. The air had been pleasant so she thought that maybe a jog in the moonlight would help release some of this pent up energy that his change always left her with. Her long hair was pulled up into a messy bun as she locked her motel room door behind her. Her breasts bounced with each step of her jog, her breath filled her lungs with the sweet scent of the night. Things were always so still at this point of the day and it was honestly the best time for a run.  She kept her senses open to her surroundings, making sure that nothing could get the better of her. Though soon she got lost in thought, her feet automatically bringing her back to the motel room. The whole time she could feel his thoughts within her mind, it made her feel powerful. Like she didn’t need to fear the dark, and she could take on whatever came her way. Y/n slowly opened the door to her motel room, her knife drawn at the ready in case someone was in the room. She couldn’t scent anyone though, Alpha, omega or otherwise. A smile curved her lips as she laid back on the bed, the spent energy letting her brain work through the details as her body rested.

She thought about the 4 victims, one of them was 19 and her boyfriend was 20. They were high school seniors, almost in college. The 3rd victim was the boyfriends father, and the 4th victim was a teacher at the school. There had to be something in common. She’d need to revisit the families again and see if there’d be anyone that would have a beef with the victims. Y/n slung her arm over her eyes, letting out a groan to which her mate laughed at. Even in his wolf form, his laugh slid over her skin like a caress. And for once he shared some of his experience running in the night. She could feel his muscles bunching and releasing under his skin with each bound and it honestly made her want to run along side him. She smiled as she heard his voice. “One day omega.” His soft humming soothed her to sleep soon after, the melody of Simple Man sounding much more beautiful in his tones.

It was early morning when her phone alarm went off. The sound of Ozzy's Crazy train waking her up instantly. She smiled, remembering the night before, he had actually shared some of himself with her. 'You seem happy this morning.' She almost jumped right out of bed when she heard his voice, that deep rumble making her skin tingle. “Well after last night how couldn’t I be.” Y/n climbed out of bed, stretching with her arms far above her head. Her back cracked with an audible pop, her mates chuckle snapping her out of her daze. “What’s so funny?” 'Nothing, I just figured that I’d share a little bit about myself with you is all.' She blinked in surprise, a lopsided smile on her face as she started to get dressed. “Oh really? Well what changed your mind?”

'Well an old family friend actually. Btw I’m Dean.' She chuckled, buttoning the two buttons on her FBI jacket.

“Well Dean I’m Y/n. It’s nice to finally know your name.” She smiled, making sure she had everything before climbing into the Charger and driving into town for a coffee. Her and Dean talked the entire way, everything and nothing springing up in their conversation. Dean told her about his family, his dad and his younger Brother Sammy. She had asked about his mom, but he fell silent and she could feel the longing coming off of him in waves. She was the first to speak up after that telling him how her family had died from Vampires. 'I remember that…it almost destroyed you.' She bit her lip.

“You felt when it happened didn’t you…” His silence was her answer, she should have known that he'd felt it. Just like she had felt the better part of all his emotions. Though he had gotten good at blocking her off from them. He broke the silence, sympathy rolling off him in waves. 'I’m sorry you had to go through that…. losing one parent is hard enough but both…you’re stronger than I am to still be fighting.' She closed her eyes for a bit struggling to control her breathing. She wasn’t strong, she just didn’t want to face what happened. How her whole life went up in flames. Y/n felt Dean's presence like it was a warm blanket soothing her mind. “Well anyways I’ve got work to do. I’ll talk to you later Dean…. Thanks for opening up to me.”

'Whatever. Good luck, you got this sweetheart.' She smiled to herself as she felt Dean back off, her eyes landing on the residence in front of her. This was the home of the girl’s boyfriend. She walked up to the door, offering the woman a kind greeting as she was once again welcomed inside. She chatted with her for a time before getting down to business. “Now, Mrs. Turner. Did Dylan have any enemies…anyone that would have cause to hurt him?” The woman thought for a few moments before shaking her head.

“There was this girl he had just broken up with. Veronica Tallowing…. I think that was her name. She was taking the breakup hard and forced Dylan to get a restraining order. My husband had to step in when she had my boy cornered…” Y/n nodded, getting the girls address before she said farewell. She'd check out the place after seeing if the same girl was connected to the other 2 victims. She drove to the girl’s house and spoke with her mother and father. They told her that Dylan's ex had been stalking her and making threats to her safety. So a connection to 3 of the victims…she figured that this girl was also involved with the teacher as well so she planned her next visit to the girls apartment. She felt Dean in her mind as she stepped out of the charger. Her instincts felt sharper than normal as she went around to the back of the building, she had already shed her jacket and white shirt. This left her in a light grey tank top, which made it much easier to climb up the fire escape. The girl’s apartment was on the top floor of the 5-story building, though Y/n was thankful that she lived a fairly athletic lifestyle outside of hunting. She could feel that she had impressed her Alpha with her endurance, taking the stairs two at a time until she reached the top. And just her luck, the window was closed. Y/n grabbed the knife that was tucked into her pants and started to pry open the lock, slowly opening it so it barely made a sound. The scent of agitated Beta hit her nose, along with the scent of incense and the sound of Arabic chanting. She climbed in, slowly making her way through the kitchen that she had just entered when a man with deep green eyes and tuggable blonde hair blocked her way.

“Y/n, my omega, what are you doing.” The Qareen rumbled at her in that familiar gruff tone. It took her a second to realize that this man in front of her was Dean. The thing had taken form of what her heart desired most. This thing in front of her was how she saw Dean. She could feel his chuckle in her mind, like he couldn’t believe this was how she saw him. ‘I’m much more handsome in person sweetheart.’ She laughed, trying to get past the Qareen as the young girl, Veronica, held the things heart. She moved to lunge at her, but the Qareen was too fast. He grabbed her by the shirt and flung her back towards the wall. She grunted as she made contact with the solid wood, the wind being knocked out of her. Y/n growled, feeling Dean’s protective Alpha nature wash over her.

The Qareen smiled at her, slowly walking towards her with arms outstretched and a tender smile on his face. “Y/n, come on. You’ll be happy with me. Just stop hunting. I’ll fill you with pups, we can have that white picket fence life your mother wanted you to have.” He seemed so earnest and damn the thing for knowing exactly what she wished she could have given her mother. She started to walk towards him noticing his lack of scent, all that sounded so perfect. But this thing wasn’t her Alpha. It couldn’t give her what she wanted most. A loving Alpha who’ll help her keep others safe. Speaking of, Dean stayed stubbornly silent, letting her fight this barrier in her mind. She did want that, wanted it with all her being. She ducked under the things arms instead and ran to the girl. “Thanks for the offer but you’re forgetting one thing.” She tackled the girl, stabbing the things heart with her knife. “You’re not Dean!” She covered her ears with a satisfied smile on her face as the thing screamed in pain, she almost felt sorry for it, watching its body slowly get burned up by blue flame before disappearing. Forced to do things on the will of this young girl. The girl laid under her, unconscious from the tackle. She didn’t feel the need to end her, so instead she tied the girl up and she searched the apartment for where the spell book could be. To no avail. “Damn thing must be a pdf…” She growled to herself, hating that these witches were getting more and more advanced in their practices. Her search more turned to any electronics that could hold a pdf, managing to find a laptop, iPod, phone and a few USB drives. She included the things heart in a trash bin and cut the still unconscious girl free from the chair before she left the way she came. She nimbly ran down the stairs before jumping down the last story and walking to her car.

She could feel the pride in Dean's thoughts as she drove back to the motel to burn the objects. Though she could have sworn there was a sense of excitement too. Like the excitement to see someone you haven’t seen in a long time. And she questioned him on this. 'I don’t know what you’re talking about.' He cut her off after that, leaving her to eat and to get changed for a lil victory drink at the motels bar later that night. She let her long hair tumble down her back, teasing the strands with her fingers. She exchanged her grey tank top for a solid black t-shirt that hugged her body in all the right ways, the deep vee giving more than just a sneak pick at her cleavage. A worn pair of jean shorts finished the look along with her black leather boots. She slipped a small circular silver pendant around her neck, a small protection rune was engraved on the front and gleamed as it settled in between her breasts. When she felt she looked presentable, Y/n left her room and locked the door behind her.

She walked with a lil’ bit of a swagger as she entered the bar, finding it busy enough for a small town. She walked over to the bar and ordered a whiskey on the rocks to get her started, she planned on getting drunk tonight before heading back to The Moor’s Landing early tomorrow afternoon. Tonight, it seemed her body had the same plans she did as her 4th whiskey had her buzzed in the most beautiful way and her 7th one had her drunk. She looked around the bar, thinking of who she could hustle to get some extra cash. Her drunken eyes landing on an Alpha who didn’t look all that smart. She downed her 8th whiskey before sauntering over to him, giving a low whistle as he sank an easy shot at the pool table. “Would you like to play?” She bit her lip, leaning against the table with her hip

She could tell she had piqued his interest right away as his scent changed and a smile slowly formed on his face. “More than you know baby.” His voice was slightly slurred, and she knew why if the empty beer bottles on the table behind him were anything to go by. She reset the balls and even let him break them to “show her how it’s done” She chuckled under her breath, holding back her skills as she missed more shots than she normally would’ve. When it was only the 8-ball left, she spoke up. “If you sink this shot I’ll give you $20 if not then you give me $20. Deal?” The alpha laughed and shook on it before lining up for the shot and missing terribly. He let out a grumble, handing Y/n a twenty. She smiled. “Hey, wanna play again? Double or nothing?” He chuckled, taking that bet. The only difference was this time she wouldn’t hold back. She sank all her normal shots and easily beat the Alpha, who growled under his breath as he handed her $40. She smiled coyly up at him as she pocketed the money, which was the wrong thing to do. For one thing she had neglected to notice was the Alpha’s scent becoming heavy with arousal and aggravation. She gave a startled yelp as the man forced her against the wall, his larger hand covering her mouth, so she couldn’t make a noise. Her eyes widened as he rutted his hard bulge against her inner thigh, spreading her legs with his own as he attacked her neck. Terror filled her mind as she struggled, but the Alpha’s body weight was too much for her to overcome in this state. When his free hand dipped down from her ass to slip into her shorts, that’s when she felt it. A wave of heat, a possessive jealous rage that filled her mind along with his deep growl. The sound of jaw cracking and the thud of the now unconscious Alpha hitting the ground was next as she looked up at her Savior. Those green eyes, now darkened from emerald to a deep forest green in the lowlight of the bar. That blonde hair that was at the perfect length to tug and grab. His large frame was dressed in a maroon long-sleeve with a black tee underneath, the fabric tightening across his chest with every deep breath. A pair of blue jeans hugged his strong thighs and bowed legs. “You alright Sweetheart?”